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mouth the words you're not ready to speak

Summary:

Piers frowned. His prosthetic arm was around Leon’s torso, holding him up, and he used his teeth to tug off his glove from his left hand so he could press his palm on Leon’s forehead. “You’re hot.”

Without thinking, Leon replied. “Thank you, you too.” He probably had fever, for real, he could use it as a defense if he said anything too out there.

The answer was an eyeroll, and Piers scoffed. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

--
Or, Leon struggles through a mission while sick.

Notes:

for my bad things happen bingo square "hiding an illness"!

also for Mav 😘

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Suddenly dizzy, Leon squeezed his eyes shut, leaning against the wall for support. He’d been feeling lightheaded all day now, and as much as he’d hoped it would pass it seemed to be just getting worse. He really should insist on a clause that he was to never be sent out without breakfast, at the very least. He wasn’t a young man anymore, his body didn’t bounce back from everything as it used to, and he certainly couldn’t run on empty as much as he used to. The strange nausea was probably his crashing blood sugar, and he didn’t have anything edible on him.

He would’ve asked Piers if the BSAA field equipment came with anything to eat, but the man wasn’t exactly wearing his usual gear right now. They were both dressed in dark, casual clothes, no identifiers on them at all. This wasn’t exactly a sanctioned operation, so keeping their identities on the down low was important. While Leon was used to it, his job had him fly under the radar more often than not, he could tell it bothered Piers to be stripped of every sign of who he was and who he worked for.

Leon still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea to begin with. He should’ve gone in alone. But Chris had insisted, and Piers had insisted, and Leon had folded. They were grown men, who was Leon to make their decisions for them.

Fact remained, that if they got caught, it would be bad for Leon but disastrous for Piers. Leon would get the equivalent of a slap on the wrist, most likely, because the government didn’t care enough about the inner workings of the BSAA. Piers, though? If he’d get caught sneaking into a BSAA facility under false pretenses, to spy on the very organization he worked for? Career ending move right there.

“Hey,” Piers whispered, suddenly right there next to Leon, and Leon very nearly jumped. Damnit. He wasn’t used to working with a partner, especially a mission like this. “The first guard is almost here,” Piers went on, none the wiser. “You ready?”

“Born ready,” Leon said, and from the corner of his eyes he saw Piers roll his eyes. He did notice the hint of a grin, though, and it pulled one from him too. He had to brace against the lightheadedness, so he squeezed his eyes shut as he pushed himself off the wall, and thus he almost missed his cue. Piers nudged him and gave him a look, which Leon chose to ignore as he slipped around the corner and past the patrolling soldier.

It was weird to not have a gun, or even a knife, he thought, not for the first time. They weren’t here to hurt the guards, though, they were here to investigate. Leon crossed the hallway light on his feet, and he was actually pretty impressed with how quiet Piers was, especially considering the way BSAA soldiers usually rampaged forward. They got to the vent, where they were supposed to first hide until the next guard passed them, and then continue further in the airduct.

Piers easily removed the grid covering the entrance point above their heads, and Leon grabbed the edge of it to heave himself up. It was an easy maneuver, something he’d done a million times, but as he pulled himself up one second he was fine and in the next his vision went blurry and his arms gave in. He fell down, heavily colliding with something warm, and it took him a moment to catch up that he’d fallen right against Piers’ chest.

Shit. They’d probably made so much noise someone had noticed. Immediately Leon’s heartbeat picked up, and he held his breath as he fought the sudden dizziness to focus on their surroundings.

“You okay?” Piers asked, a worried crease between his brows. He was still holding Leon close, as if it was nothing, and when Leon realized and pulled away Piers looked almost reluctant to let go.

That must’ve been in his imagination, Leon told himself sternly. “I’m fine.” He brushed it aside, refusing to look at Piers straight. That man had a weird ability to know when Leon was lying, even when people he’d known for decades didn’t. “My grip slipped,” he lied, already reaching up to try again. Thankfully this time he made it, and quickly scooted over until there was enough room for Piers to follow him.

What the hell had that been, though? If Piers hadn’t caught him, he would’ve fallen headfirst into the wall. He really needed to start packing powerbars or something. Being alone, a mistake like that could very well cost him his life. The mere thought of it gave him chills, and without thinking he brought his arms around himself. He closed his eyes, listening as Piers quickly followed him and then pulled the grid back in its place.

Leon’s cheeks were burning and he was glad it was dark in there. They were supposed to wait here for seven to eleven minutes, depending on the guard, and at least having to stay silent saved Leon from more questioning. Even then, Piers sat down so close their shoulders were pressed together, and Leon manfully resisted the urge to lean against him.

As they made their way through the facility, they only exchanged a few words, all of them absolutely necessary. And with each passing moment, Leon was beginning to feel this wasn’t only low blood sugar, after all. He was continuously dizzy, his limbs felt heavy, and he kept stumbling over nothing more than once. The worst of it was that Piers definitely noticed, as multiple times he reached out to help Leon regain his balance. Sternly Leon ignored the worried looks. He was going to pull through and he wasn’t going to jeopardize the mission.

Not even though the dizziness was turning into nausea, and his cheeks were flaming hot. That couldn’t be only the embarrassment, he thought, discreetly tugging on the collar of his turtleneck. He was going to sweat right through it.

Eventually they reached their main target, and Leon breathed a sigh of relief. Of course they still needed to get out of here, but the worst part was always getting in without being noticed, no matter where you were breaking in.

The door said ‘LABORATORY C’ in big lettering, and Piers swept it open with their fake keycard. Hopefully that’d be enough to cover their tracks. The door beeped and hissed, sliding open, and quickly they slipped into the room.

Feeling strangely unsteady on his feet, Leon nearly stumbled into the nearest chair, dropping his head in his hands. The wave of nausea that followed was worse than the ones before, but he tried to breathe through it. Until he realized he was being stared at, and he tried his best to summon up some approximation of a smile as he looked up. “I just need a minute.”

“Okay,” Piers said, although he looked like he wasn’t satisfied by the answer. He was nothing if not target oriented, though, and he pulled up the equipment they had to get into the computers. Neither of them was even a decent hacker in any way, but with this technology they wouldn’t need to be. All that was needed would be downloaded onto the flash drive Piers plugged into the computer, and they’d get the info they needed.

Leon sat there silently, and slowly he was beginning to feel more normal again. Piers was hunched over the computer screen, frowning as the files kept copying and he saw them pull up on the screen one by one.

“Chris was right,” Piers said, then, clearly unhappy. He looked back at Leon, inclining his head towards the monitor slightly. “I don’t get half of this but from what I do get, he was right.”

That was bad news. None of them had wanted to really believe that the BSAA could be behind the strange new shipments of the new strain of T, but here they were.

Two days ago, Chris had been stern in a way Leon hadn’t seen him in a while. He looked like he’d gained twenty years overnight, the stress weighing on him making him sit hunched over his table like an old man. The main emotion Leon had felt was resignation, as he’d already had a lifetime of dealing with corruption and knowing the people you worked with could so easily stab you in the back. For Chris, though, BSAA was like family. He’d worked so hard to get rid of the shady dealings and corruption, and for a while he’d thought he’d succeeded.

Until now. Until a completely routine mission had unearthed information Chris barely wanted to consider. Which was why Leon hadn’t even dreamed of saying no when Chris asked for his help, saying he wanted someone outside of the organization just in case.

And now he’d helped prove that Chris’ life’s work was jeopardized.

“Let’s get out of here, then,” Leon said. “Chris should deal with it as soon as—” Leon’s breath caught in his throat as he tried to stand up from the chair, but instead completely lost his balance. He didn’t even register that there were arms around him, holding him up, until much later when the dizziness started to fade. As he looked up their faces were close, so close, and he couldn’t think of anything to say as he stared right at Piers.

Piers frowned. His prosthetic arm was around Leon’s torso, holding him up, and he used his teeth to tug off his glove from his left hand so he could press his palm on Leon’s forehead. “You’re hot.”

Without thinking, Leon replied. “Thank you, you too.” He probably had fever, for real, he could use it as a defense if he said anything too out there.

The answer was an eyeroll, and Piers scoffed. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“That’s a lie,” Leon drawled. Shit, he was really lightheaded now, and his cheeks felt like a furnace.

“That’s—” Piers started, but the computer beeped, and he quickly made sure Leon was steady enough on his feet before going to grab the flash drive and everything else he’d plugged into the computer. Once done, he turned back to Leon, hesitating as if he wasn’t sure whether he should grab him for support again or not. “Can you walk? We need to get out of here.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Leon said, his voice full of confidence that he didn’t feel at all.

“Oh, I worry,” Piers said, but didn’t make a move to get closer, anyway.

Their way back was largely the same as their way in. Inside they only had to evade the four night guards, whose routes Chris had given them to memorize. The rest was taken care of by their fake keycards and the occasional air duct or maintenance corridor in the walls. What was a problem was the outside. They’d taken hours to crawl close enough to enter the facility, and now they’d need to avoid the sensors and the spotlights again. That was why a vehicle had been a no-go, and why they’d need to trek back several miles.

A trek that Leon really was not feeling right now. Somewhere halfway through their way out of the building he grabbed the back of Piers’ shirt for support, stumbling a little too much for his liking, and wordlessly Piers let him lean on him whenever he needed to. Leon had no doubt that he’d get the third degree questioning after they were clear, but for now he was grateful for the casual support.

Of course, right at the end, their luck ran out. They made it outside, through the small side door that was less guarded than the others and only needed the keycard to open. From then on, they had to rely on the route they’d memorized to avoid all the sensors embedded into the ground.

Only a few feet from the door, Leon fucked up. He stepped right when he should’ve stepped left, and it was by pure reflex that he was able to throw himself out of the way of the automated gunfire. He fell heavy into the grass, face first, as the siren went off behind them.

“Fucking sh—Leon!” Piers was right there, grabbing his arm, hauling him up. He put one of Leon’s arms over his shoulder and Leon did his best to make his legs work so he wouldn’t be dead weight to carry. He only somewhat succeeded, Piers still half-carried him forward, but they somehow managed to make a run for it.

Piers made beeline for the trees not far from them, and Leon just tried to be as cooperative as he possibly could when his head felt like it was splitting open and the nausea kept getting worse with every single step they took. He focused on his feet, forcing them to move with sheer force of will, one step another step then another and one more—

Until they reached the forest. Piers stumbled, and since Leon was barely being helpful to begin with they both went down. Leon ended up on his hands and knees, and the sudden movement made his stomach turn upside down. How he could throw up when his stomach was empty he had no idea, it was mostly bile anyway, but he dry-heaved for a long moment even after.

There was a palm on his shoulder, then, Piers’ voice laced with worry. “You okay? Can you move?”

It was dark around them, but somehow Leon managed to roll onto his back without landing in his own vomit. He took a deep breath, then another, and as if on cue a violent shudder shook through him. He was both hot and cold at the same time somehow, and couldn’t focus on actual words. “We safe?” he somehow managed to croak out. At least he had Piers, and at least he trusted the man’s judgment.

“For now,” Piers said, glancing back over his shoulder. “They’re not following us yet. Hopefully they assume the sensors were trapped by wildlife.” He turned back to Leon, frowning hard. “But we shouldn’t stay here.”

Leon knew why Piers looked so unhappy. They couldn’t stay here but Leon was in no shape to make the full trek back to the pickup point. If they could at least make it a little bit closer to there that would help, he thought, and forced himself to sit up. Immediately the dizziness was back, and he groaned as he brought a hand to his temple. “I feel a little sick,” he admitted.

“A little!?” Piers asked, incredulous. He bit back whatever he was about to add, though, and instead shifted closer so he could again pull Leon’s arm over his shoulders. “I’m going to yell at you later,” he said, decisively. “But c’mon now.”

If Leon hadn’t trusted Piers as much as he did, he would’ve tried to stay way more alert. As it was, he trusted Piers would keep them safe and would make sure to warn Leon if he needed to pay attention. So he mainly again focused on walking, trying to ignore the shivers going through him and the way his teeth clattered. His eyes kept slipping shut, and he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

Eventually Piers made a surprised sort of noise, changing directions slightly. “Not much further,” he said, as if he was trying to encourage Leon to move for a bit longer. “We’re almost there.”

Almost where never even crossed Leon’s mind. As soon as they reached some kind of a building and Piers nudged the door open, Leon felt his knees wobble. Perfect timing, in some ways. Piers immediately tightened his hold of Leon, dragging him inside. “I’ve got you,” he said, although the words barely registered in Leon’s feverish brain. “I’ve got you. Let’s sit down now.”

Leon realized he was being lowered onto something soft, with Piers close by his side, his hands steady and warm on Leon. Although Leon struggled to speak, he didn’t have the strength for it, but he hoped that Piers knew how much his helps was appreciated. There weren’t many people Leon genuinely trusted with his life, but Piers was definitely one of them. If only he could say it.

Unable to keep himself upright, Leon tipped over. Then everything went dark.