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Shiny black fox ears stood tall on top of Tighnari’s head, twitching occasionally as the man paused to think. You could sense how focussed he was from watching his tail swish, your own tail and ears unconsciously shifting in call and response to his. Being both Valuka Shuna, you understood each other well like that.
Your tail accidentally hit the door of his study and it creaked. The feverish scratching of Tighnari’s pen came to a halt and he turned around with a jolt.
“(Y/N)!” His eyes darted towards the small clock placed on his desk. “I'm afraid I lost track of time, else I'd have some tea ready for your arrival.”
He moved to stand, but then halted briefly, the notes in his journal earning a couple more hesitant glances. Ultimately, however, he decided he wanted to focus his attention on you instead. Something you deeply appreciated, since you knew how dedicated he was to his work. Tighnari was always mindful about the fact that the two of you could only spend limited time together since you lived all the way at Caravan Ribat, your life as a merchant keeping you just as busy as the forest kept him. Every now and then, you’d plan a weekend where you’d come and stay in one of the vacant houses in Gandharva Ville so you could spend some time together.
His chair creaked as he made his way over to you. Unprepared to shift your quiet admiration into interaction, you put down your weekend bag instead of giving him the hug he expected. Looking back at him, you saw that his fond smile had faltered, in all likelihood caused by the downcast aura you were emitting. Despite this, he gently but resolutely placed his hand on your shoulder.
“Rough day?” He asked with a smile, his thumb rubbing at your tense muscles. You shook your head, but didn’t have anything to add.
“Oh well, rough week then?” You let out a breathy laugh and finally allowed yourself to ebb into his frame. Tighnari returned the embrace, offering great comfort.
“Just tired…” You mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
This earned you a hum in response and a tentative kiss in between your ears. “Take it slow this weekend. If you want to stay inside instead of accompanying me on patrols then please tell me. Anything you need, just let me know, alright?”
Anything, huh...
“Tighnari..?”
“Hmm?”
“Could we- Instead of tea, could we cuddle..?”
Your ears warmed from your own question. Surely, you had been together for long enough to be more blunt in asking for his attention? In the beginning Tighnari really seemed to struggle with giving physical affection, but you always craved to hold his hand, to hug him goodbye, or to kiss him on the cheek when he rambled about his work to you. Even though he seemed to have warmed up to your touch, you were scared that directly asking him for it would be too much.
To your relief, Tighnari stepped back with an affirming smile and wordlessly led you to his bedroom. It was a bit awkward shuffling around to find a comfortable position, but finally you ended up with your head on his chest and your legs tangled up together. After only a minute Tighnari's breathing calmed and he started brushing his hand through your hair. Meanwhile, you silently tried to calm your heart rate as you listened to his steady beat. This loving side of Tighnari, without all the sarcastic comments or nagging felt very special to you and you were nearly certain he’d never show it to anybody else. You tried to enjoy this special moment, but it was hard to settle down. The earthy and floral tones of his scent invaded your sensitive nose, fresh and herbal from his body and deep and sleepy from the neatly made up covers beneath you.
Eventually his hand stilled. You moved your head to meet the pouty frown painted on his face. “If you're going to toss around like a spinokrok with a fever, I don't see any point in lying down like this.”
Ah, oops...
After having known him for a few years, you knew this comment was meant to convey concern, rather than annoyance. Well, he was still annoyed of course.... And although it would be nice to shake off all your anxieties and just enjoy your time together, it seemed like you couldn’t just relax after all.
You sighed. “Tighnari…”
“Yes?” He sounded alarmed at your exasperated tone.
“What are we?”
Silence. Well, that attempt to breach the subject was a bust. Too direct maybe? It clearly wasn't what he was expecting to hear.
“You didn’t eat a conic, pink and white striped striped mushroom on your way here did you? You’ve been acting strange tonight.”
“Tighnari, I'm serious…”
The sheets rustled as Tighnari shifted so he could look you in the eye, his arm still around your back. His cheeks looked a little rosy.
“Well, I for one was under the impression we were dating… I thought I had communicated my intentions quite clearly.” The slight pout on his face squeezed at your heart, temporarily emptying your head of all thoughts. He jolted as you suddenly pulled your hands up to his ears and softly stroked the soft appendage between your finger and thumb, desperate to find a way to act on the boiling affection you felt for him. Like yours, his ears were warm, the skin almost as soft as the furred side. The pulse softly thumping underneath your fingers sped up ever so slightly.
Ahh.. this is nice… Never before had you touched his ears and although you obviously knew what Valuka Shuna ears felt like, touching his was… different.
When your gaze moved down from his ears to his face you were surprised to find his eyes tightly shut, face completely red. You were about to ask if he was okay when he let out a nearly inaudible whimper.
“Did you just whine?” You laughed. In a flash your hand was snatched away from his ears. His expression was annoyed, but not angry, so you continued your teasing. “Don't you offer people to touch them all the time?”
“N-no! It's because it’s- You- Y-You're making it sound as if I go around asking people to fondle me on a daily basis-”
Tighnari’s ears shifted back in annoyance at your giggles. Oh, he was so much fun to tease.
“Hmm, Sorry,” you whispered. You brought your other thumb back up and softly stroked his warm cheek.
“You're awfully affectionate today…” Tighnari grumbled, avoiding eye contact, though he did move his grip from your wrist down to hold your hand.
“You don't like it..?”
When his eyes shifted back to yours, they had a serious glimmer to them. “No, I adore you…” You, rather than it, you noted. “(Y/N) talk to me, I can see you struggling, you know.”
Alright, here goes nothing… Let’s not avoid this any longer.
“I, ehm, don’t really know how to start...” You confessed. Tighnari gave your hand a squeeze. Now that you started talking he seemed… relieved? “I-I’ve been feeling- I eh.. It’s kind of embarrassing, really.”
“Did anything happen to incite these feelings?” If it was a different topic you would probably have laughed. It was like he was trying to find the cause of a weird rash. It was the most logical place to start, however.
“Oh well… Do you remember what I said about Affnu..?” Judging by Tighnari’s sour face, he did remember.
“That one lady that compared you to her dog?”
“That’s the one…” Sometimes you’d encounter these people that are weirdly biased against human hybrids, but this lady in particular had some very odd assumptions about you. She was an old widow living in Caravan Ribat and according to some of the other merchants you worked with, she had always had a few screws loose.
Tighnari rolled his eyes. “What did she say this time?”
Your stomach churned. “S-someone must have told her I had a boyfriend. And ehm, well she came up to ask me about it, I guess. She was weirdly mad about it?”
“Mad?” You didn’t blame him for his incredulous tone.
“Maybe mad isn’t the right word, b-but she said because I’m a fox I shouldn’t just ehm. Date whomever and that I should stick to my own sort-” That wasn’t really what she had said, but you’d rather not repeat her exact words, Tighnari already seemed angry enough. “Don’t worry this time people intervened, so I didn’t have to deal with it for long.”
“When did this happen?”
“About a week ago,”
Tighnari took a sharp breath. You could tell he was trying to control his anger. And although you knew it wasn’t directed at you, you still desperately hoped he wouldn’t judge you for what you would say next.
“Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit.. weird?”
“Archons, I’d be weirded out too if I had to deal with that.”
That hadn’t been what you meant. “At first I was angry, but recently I’ve been thinking, ehm you know…” Tighnari patiently waited for you to continue, but the words you were hoping to come up with still wouldn’t come, so he spoke instead.
“You don’t need to give this lady any thought (y/n). I think you should report her to the matra for harassment.”
You nodded slowly. “Right. Eh. She got arrested actually,”
“Good,” Tighnari pulled you closer. “Should she try anything else I might just ask Cyno to intervene. The nerve of some people.”
“I heard her yelling things about King Deshret as she was taken away. I don’t think she cares that the rebellion was disbanded. Not that she was part of them to begin with, she’s just like that, I think.”
Tiighnari seemed to be in thought. It made you wonder if you should’ve bothered him with the full story after all. You were kind of veering away from what you needed to talk about in the first place, so you felt frustrated. And that after you build up all that courage.
“Unforunately, this can happen with age. If she doesn’t have the right support system it can be hard to keep these sort of aggressive episodes unchecked.” There he went again, looking at things from an analytical angle.
“Tighnari!” His name came out in a yell. Well, that shut him up. More aggressively than you would have liked, however.
“I.. I’ve been so. So frustrated!" You confessed in between gasps of air. You sat up on your knees, leaving behind a perplexed Tighnari. You didn’t mean to, but the tears came regardless. “D-did you know that- that Valuka Shuna lovers purr when they’re together, and ehm, did you know they intertwine tails when they sit next to each other? That they let their, erm, their ears touch. That they- that they scent each other?”
Tighnari's eyes were blown wide open, the redness returning to his face in full force. He sat up on his elbows to face you. “(Y/N) I- I don't know what to say.”
A sob left your lips. That was so embarrassing, why did it have to come out like that? You shook his arm off and moved away from him. He was always so patient in hearing you out, why couldn’t you find the patience to be heard?
“I'm sorry, forget I said anything- I didn't mean it like that,” You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, but before you could stand up, a hand grabbed at your shoulder.
“N-no wait,” He said. “I’m sorry, it’s just- I guess I’m just new to this. The whole relationship thing I mean. You surprised me, is all.”
You didn’t relax in his grip and let out a few more sobs, tears flowing down your face. Tighnari’s mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish before he found his words. “I guess.. you’re not wrong. These are things I have observed in my parents when I was young. W-what’s this about, so suddenly?”
“You never treat me like that. Even though I thought I could finally have someone to connect to.”
You knew. You knew what kind of man he was. Reserved and although seemingly confident standoffish, he really was quite awkward and tender hearted. It wasn’t enough to stop you from leaving him a babbling mess. The selfish part of yourself wanted him to, despite all the guilt. God what was wrong with you.
“(Y/N), (Y/N), I’m sorry- Talk to me please,” He sounded so hurt…
Finally, you had to admit you were self-destructing. You slumped down, the tension leaving your body.
“You know… Since my dad died when I was 8,” You scrambled for anything to explain how you felt, even though you had told him before about your father. “And with my mom being fully human, I just never felt connected to that part of me. When Affnu said all these things I couldn’t help but wonder, why are we together? Does it matter what we are? Does it make us more special? A-and afterwards when I looked it up in a book about our biology, I realised, you and I weren’t like the book at all. That… That made me think that maybe I had misunderstood our relationship entirely.” Your voice had gotten smaller as you went on, fizzling out as you finished speaking. That was it. That is what you were struggling to convey. The guilt from your tantrum was hitting you full force the second you stopped talking. Your eyes hadn’t moved up from your hands while you were speaking, but now that it was silent, you didn’t even want to imagine the look on Tighnari’s face.
“(Y/N).” His voice was firm. “Can I hold you again?” You couldn’t detect any anger from him, as patient as ever.
“Oh Tighnari,” You sobbed. “Please hold me.”
Instead of circling his arms around you like you had expected, he moved to sit next to you, and placed his arm around your middle, pulling you down to rest your head on his shoulder. You gasped as you felt his tail brush up to yours, trying to curl around it. You let him.
“I-is this okay?” He asked, sounding very unsure of himself. You gave a bewildered nod.
“I-I’m sorry Tighnari. Sorry for getting angry.” You were sure he would be equally as cross with you, but he wasn’t. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing.
“It’s okay... Don’t think I’ve got this figured out, okay? I can deal with the trials and tribulations of the rainforest much more easily, but truth is, I’m really awkward when it comes to these things.”
You snorted through the tears, his clumsy words catching you off guard. “Gee, really?”
Tighnari sighed, relief making its way onto his face. “You will never miss an opportunity to make fun of me, will you?”
“Never,” you laughed weakly. You tried not to jump as Tighnari brought up his hand to dry off your tears, but you couldn't help the twitch in your tail. He didn’t let go. You didn’t want him to either. It was silent for a bit and you felt yourself being calmed by his scent, your sniffling slowly dying down.
“To answer your question,” he suddenly said, enunciating clearly like he always did. “I think it DOES matter. That we’re both Valuka Shuna, I mean. Not that that weighed heavily in deciding on this partnership, but I think it is always nice to have something to share.”
This evening had been such a storm of emotions. And right now you were soaring above the clouds. All because of this dork of a man.
“I want to apologize if it felt like I was purposely avoiding certain aspects of your identity. I guess I was, really, I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. But now I see I shouldn’t have left this unspoken.”
You nodded, feeling a bit surprised at his confession. “Can I ask you some questions?”
“Of course, I'll answer to the best of my ability.”
“You seem so confident about it all. Whenever people ask me questions, I feel so awkward, but you have no problems answering them at all. How does it not bother you?”
He let out a dramatic sigh. “Dealing with these people, it’s kind of part of my job, unfortunately.” You had to deal with stupid clients too, you wanted to object, but you didn’t want to start the ‘Who has to deal with the most annoying people in their job’ argument again, because Tighnari would always insist there were more idiots that crossed his path compared to yours. Although, maybe he’d let you win now you had told him about Affnu. “Besides, if people want to judge me on superficial factors such as my tail and ears, then that’s their problem, not mine.”
“Are they superficial to you? Your ears and tail?” You felt like a curious child, asking all these questions.
“Well, not to me. But my hybrid status is none of their business.” Tighnari's left ear tilted down until it was touching yours. Was he going down a checklist of actions you had just talked about? It was a little clumsy, but it endeared you. “For us… For us it can be as important as we make it to be.”
“I guess that makes sense… You know, I rarely get the opportunity to interact with other hybrids. I feel like I'm faking being exactly like them all the time.”
“This is actually not uncommon in mammals,” Tighnari interjected. “The ability to adapt to one's surroundings is an important skill for survival after all.”
“You're such a nerd,” You said. “I love you, Tighnari.”
He laughed. “I guess I love you too.”
Wow. It felt nice to have finally said that.
You moved your head off of his shoulder and looked at him properly. His eyes shifted around for a second before he held your gaze, and you felt a light spark tickling your spine. Next, you felt a wave of comforting joy wash over you when your lips touched. The kiss was noncommittal and careful, but the most loving one you’d ever had.
“How do we know if we’re forever?” You whispered. Tighnari’s ears shifted back in surprise, and the lovely eye contact you two were sharing was broken.
“W-well, ahum. The mating for life thing technically doesn’t start until.., well you know-”
“Oh. Oh hm.” you both sat up straight. “I eh. Let’s leave that conversation for another day, shall we?”
Tighnari cleared his throat. “Let’s. Until that time, let’s keep up the open communication. How are you feeling?” He moved to stand up from the bed, examining you up and down to make sure things were properly talked out.
“...A bit hungry. I eh, might or might not have had anything to eat since this morning?” Tighnari’s face fell.
“What? Why didn’t you say so earlier! What have I told you about eating properly?” There was the full return of the nag master.
“Why’d you think I’ve been so emotional tonight, I’m starving!” You held out your arms for Tighnari to pull you up from the bed. He left you hanging, both hands on his hips.
“Really now, sometimes I wonder how you manage to survive out there in the desert.”
“Caravan Ribat isn’t in the desert!”
“It’s more than close enough!” He argued before finally pulling you up. You moved in as close as you could.
“Hmm, and too far away from you?” You asked with a smirk on your face. Tighnari pushed you back down to your feet with an unamused look on his face.
“Enough with you, you can have some of the food I prepared for tomorrow.”
You let yourself be pulled towards the kitchen. “Whatever you say darling!”