Chapter Text
101 Ways We Could Have Killed Voldemort
Written by Ron Weasley in History of Magic
Welcome to my very detailed list on how we could have ended Voldy. It feels good to say his name now that I know he won’t come haunt me whilst I sleep.
This is the property of Ronald Weasley and I guess Hermione and Harry.
(He could still come back to haunt you- HP)
(SHUT UP, HARRY - Ron)
- Harry Potter
- Harry Potter
- HARRY FREAKING POTTER
(Ron, you can’t keep writing Harry for every answer. It’s not 101 ways then - Hermione J. Granger)
(Go away Hermione it’s my list- Ron)
(Besides, Harry is the reason we did get rid of him in the end- Hermione J. Granger)
(All the more reason to put him a few times at least. Let me celebrate the fact that Harry is my friend- Ron)
4. Ron Weasley
(I give up- Hermione J. Granger)
(Oi, Hermione it’s my list! I can write whatever I want- Ron)
5. Hermione Granger
(See, I’ve included you too- Ron)
(How very kind of you, Ronald- Hermione J. Granger)
(Don’t call me Ronald you sound like my mum- Ron)
(Okay, Ronald- Hermione J. Granger)
This list is no longer the property of Hermione Granger.
6. Destroy his horcruxes sooner
(Hermione, that’s the most obvious one ever. You need to be creative. Harry, your turn- Ron)
(Hermione is not speaking to Ron anymore- HP)
7. Lock him in a cupboard with Umbridge
(Oooh, good one! - Ron)
(Thanks, mate- HP)
(Survival of the fittest!- Ron)
(I’m not even sure who would win that one- HP)
8. Avada Kedavra
(Ginny, this isn’t your list! And besides that wouldn’t work- Ron)
(You did say use your imagination, right? This is me using my imagination and you need to try all obvious options too- Ginny)
(She’s right, you know, Ron- Hermione J. Granger)
9. Let Ginny loose on him
(That’s not nice, Ronald- Hermione J. Granger)
(STOP CALLING ME RONALD- Ron)
(Whatever you say, Ronald- Hermione J. Granger)
(How about you let me loose on you, dear brother? - Ginny)
(Oh shit you’d better run now- HP)
10. Really, just let Ginny at him. That bat bogey hex really is remarkable
(To the reader, Ronald is currently incapacitated. Ginny hit him with a hex so strong, he’s had to be escorted to the hospital wing with immediate effect- Hermione J. Granger)