Chapter Text
Well…It could have gone worse. You thought? You didn’t know now what could be worse than having your cover blown, being captured and imprisoned by this organisation. But you were sure there could be something. You just needed time to think.
You were far too relaxed for the situation you found yourself in, but after all, you were an agent. So being in live-threatening situations was just a part of the deal. And after all, they hadn’t started to torture you… well they had, but it had been a half-hearted attempt.
You should really speak to your therapist more often. But you weren’t sure if he could handle it.
Who were you kidding?
You had many, many problems. And he could handle them, and even if not, then he would have enough money from you alone, to pay for his own little therapy. But who would do the therapy for the therapist of your therapist?
You needed to get out of this cell.
.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.´.
You walked down the corridors of S.H.I.E.L.D. your steps were secure and your posture upright. You belonged into these halls and you were proud to be an agent.
It hadn’t been easy getting where you were now. You knew that, and so it filled you even more with pride to be considered one of S.H.I.E.L.D.s best agents.
What didn’t fill you with pride was that Fury had asked you to come to his office.
Not to get you wrong, there was nothing bad with Fury, but getting asked to come to his office was never for good news.
You had the icking feeling that he wanted to talk with you about your latest mission. Sure, being captured hadn’t been your plan, but it had worked out, hadn’t it?
There was no other way to find out, then to go and talk to the man. You walked with long steps, nothing stopping you, but still you would have preferred to be walking to the training-centre or the cafeteria.
Fury already awaited you in his office. His desk was clean, only a single sheet of paper lied on it. His eye was sent on you and Agent Hill stood in his corner.
Well, if you hadn’t had a good feeling up until now, it now certainly was getting shady.
“Director Fury, Agent Hill.” You greeted both after you closed the door behind yourself.
Okay, maybe the last mission had really gone sideways and maybe you even had a few times where you could have contacted help, but didn’t. So what? Everybody did that from time to time. There was a reason you were an agent, and that was certainly not, because you were quitting easily.
Fury motioned you to sit down in front of him.
The last time you had been in a setting like this… no. You didn’t want to think of it right now. Or even better: Never.
Instead of opening up his mouth Fury waited till Hill handled him a tablet. He tipped on it turned it around and showed it you.
Okay, maybe you had chosen the worst fucking point in time in the last 50 or so years. You knew the video playing. It was the one, that was recorded, while you were captured, and maybe that had been the fucking point in time where the sky had opened up and let some aliens loose on New Yok City.
The video he showed you, displayed the destruction those aliens brought with them. When the part came where Tony Stark flew the nuke into that hole you got sick to your stomach. You had watched that part multiple times after you heard the news yesterday. And each and every time this was the time when you wanted to throw up.
And then the video cut to some hours prior when that Asgardian thing (called Loki) had Agent Barton attack the Helicarrier.
…… Yeah, your timing had been just perfect.
Shortly after that the video stopped and the screen went black. Your stomach was still protesting.
Your greeting were still the only words spoken and slowly you really began to fear for your career. And your life, ‘cause frankly, your career was nearly everything you had left.
Finally, Fury decided to speak. His face and tone were serious, but you never had seen him any other way.
“Agent, do you have any idea, why I wanted to see you today?”
Honestly? I'm not completly sure. At least not any more.
“I presume it regards my last mission and my actions and decision whiles on it.”
Fury did half a nod.
“Continue.”
Oh fuck…
What you loved and hated about Fury, was that he let you half of the time figure things out on your own. It was nice but also kind of a dick-move. And right now, you would have preferred, if he straight up told you what he didn’t like about your actions.
Nevertheless, he was the director and not you, so without any complain you started.
“I could have asked for help earlier on and I should have done that-“
“Why?”
Thrown of you looked at Fury, really looked at him. Normally he would let you speak.
“Why what?”
“You said that you should have asked for help earlier. Why?”
Because that was what my superior always tells me?
You needed a moment to find a good answer, that would not offend your director.
“Because good communication is essential to a good-“
He shook his head. You bit on your tongue.
If he knew better, he should start talking, because slowly that kind of behaviour was getting on your nerves very strong.
“It seems like you disagree with what I’m saying, director.”
Now he smiled a little.
And you wanted to hit him. Just a little bit.
“On the contrary. I think it’s one of the most important parts of our work. But this isn’t what you are really thinking. Is it?”
That man was good.
You took a deep breath. He wanted the truth? He should get it. But from experience you knew, that he wouldn’t like what you had to say.
“I think my actions were perfectly reasonable.”
He looked at you and you understood the clue to keep talking. Hell, you were about to talk yourself in a very deep grave.
“In prolonging my stay there, I was able to collect some more information. With an earlier cry for help I wouldn’t have been able to get those.”
“Some would say that it was an unnecessary danger you put yourself into.”
“Danger is part of this job. Could I have handled it safer? Yes, absolutely. Could I have handled it safer with the same amount of intel I collected? I don’t think so.” You sat straight.
“Some would say that it isn’t about that.” His eye looked into your soul.
So what?
“Does that matter?”
Silence.
He looked you up and down.
Finally, he talked again.
“In the time you spent unnecessary in the hands of the enemy, you could have been by our side, fighting aliens and a crazy god.”
You starred at the director.
Where the hell was, he going with this?
He looked at you again. Waiting.
“I’m one Agent. I wouldn’t have made much a difference.”
“One person made the difference between the NYC as we know it, and a nuclear wasteland.”
A punch in the guts would have hurt less.
Silence.
You had a complicated relationship with Tony Stark becoming Iron Man. It had to do with the things and the people you didn’t want to think about. It was the thing that made you more reckless than you had even been.
“Because you are one of the best Agents we have-“ you didn’t like the tone in Furys voice “-but also one of the most lightheaded, we are going to change things.”
And how you very much not liked his words.
Before you could even ask what, he meant he continued.
“You are from now on banned from solo-missions.”
That one knocked the air out of your lungs.
All you did were solo-missions.
And there was a very good reason for that.
His sentence was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
“You damn well know, I’m no team player!” You knew that screaming at your director, was probably not your smartest move, but there was no other way.
He was one of the few that knew.
Couldn’t he understand?
“Anymore.” He stated right after your words had left you mouth, as if he had only waited for them.
You glared at him.
“But you could be again.” There was a spark in his eye. But you didn’t feel the same.
“Maybe I don’t want to.”
He smiled again.
Your insides burned.
“No problem. It’s your choice.”
You raised your eye-brows.
“Either you work with a team, or you’ll be banned from missions altogether.”
Silence.
You had never hated Fury before.
But right now, you were dangerously close to it.
“And who should be that team?” You all but spit at him.
Agent Hill, you had completely forgotten that she was present too, walked up to you and gave you a picture.
“You have to be fucking kidding me.”