Chapter Text
Dragons are territorial. Greedy. Proud. Selfish. Quick to Anger.
These were things Falin knew. Things she’d read in books with her brother when they were young, huddled around an old tome babbling excitedly about every spare fact they found out.
“They say dragons choose one thing they love above all else and create a hoard of it to keep forever!” Laios had exclaimed with bright eyes, his finger tracing the outline of a huge pile of coins and jewels on the page, lovingly rendered with a dragon sleeping on top of it.
“Just one thing?” Falin had peeped up, frowning, “How could they only be able to choose one thing?”
“They must love it so much,” Laios responded, beaming, “Like dogs! Can you imagine just having a hoard of dogs all your own, forever?”
She couldn’t. Not really.
Falin loved so many things, after all. Her brother, her parents, all the dogs and animals they had, the caterpillar that was living in the garden, her books, and a good meal after a long day playing. She couldn’t fathom only picking one thing to keep in her heart forever.
Well, at the time that was the case. She got older, of course. And with age things change. Shift. Love and longing become more sharp or dim as you age. The things you want to protect with all your heart start to turn and tumble around until they spill out and you see what truly matters.
And when it all came down to it, for Falin there were only a few things she would risk everything for.
Only a few people, in truth.
Two.
Marcille and Laios.
How could a dragon pick just one thing to protect and keep with them forever?
Suddenly Falin knew how. It was as simple as breathing, after all. All she wanted to do was keep Marcille safe. To make her happy. To keep her in her clutches and yet show off to the world that this brilliant woman, capable of defying death and the gods, was hers .
Well. She wanted Marcille to be hers but-
“Falin, are you okay?”
“Hmm?” Falin blinked, suddenly brought back from her mind, and turned her head to meet Marcille’s worried gaze. “Sorry, yes?”
“You seemed like you were a million miles away,” Marcille murmured, bringing a hand to Falin’s cheek and brushing some of her hair behind her ear, “Are you feeling okay?”
“Mmm.” Falin leaned into the touch, reveling in the warm press of Marcille’s fingers against her skin. “Sorry. I was just daydreaming. You were telling me about the latest stage production of DalClan right?”
There was nothing quite like seeing Marcille light up with excitement. Something about the way her eyes suddenly sparkled and her mouth beamed in a giddy smile and her ears, those wonderful expressive ears, would perk up instantly. The glee was contagious, Falin always figured. And that feeling only had multiplied since she'd come back. Especially if Falin had been the one to make her happy. It made her feathers fluff out in pride, since only she could do this. Only she knew how to make Marcille this happy all the time.
"Yes! I got a letter from my mother saying that there was a tour of this new production of some of the later volumes!" Marcille babbled, letting her hand drop from Falin's cheek so she could gesticulate with it instead, "It's so rare that they do productions of anything past volume 10 that I'm hoping that Laios can get them to come here to do a stop." Now she turned a bit sheepish, ears twitching downwards, "Since I can't quite leave Melini just yet."
Right.
Despite everything that had happened and all that had been saved in the end, according to the elves in the north, Marcille was still guilty of magical misconduct. Which had always rankled Falin. Magic was Magic. The only difference between the old magic and new was the arbitrary morality assigned to it by those in power.
"I'm sure we can convince Laios. The people in town and all around would love something festive." Falin nudged Marcille's shoulder, prompting her ears to turn upwards again, tinged with the slightest hint of pink. "Plus it's been so long since we saw a show together, right?"
Since they were kids really.
Falin had been amazed by all the techniques they used to produce the magic and lights on stage, and all the costumes and pageantry. How exciting it had seemed back then, the ability to shed who one was every day to become something bigger and brighter than they were for just a while. Falin had pined for the ability to shed her shyness and plainness then, to become something so beautiful and mystical with the flip of a switch.
Well, she had it now, in spades.
The feathers, the eyes, the fangs. She stuck out even in the eclectic group of former adventurers that made up Laios close friends. A small price to pay to be alive again, after being devoured by a dragon. And she was happy now, with everything that had changed. She'd never been able to see so well before, after all. She'd squinted her whole youth, accepting that the world was largely blurry aside from when she truly focused on something.
Now she could appreciate every leaf on a tree, and even the small droplets of dew on the grass in the morning. She could see traders making their way into the castle town from a window high up in the castle's aery. When she was in the great hall of the castle she could appreciate every stitch on the tapestries on the wall. Most importantly of all, she could see every little detail on Marcille's body.
From the flyaway hairs on her braid to the flaking clear coat of nail polish on her thumb where she'd worried it away during a meeting, she could finally see the smallest things that added up to the flustered court mage. Of course, the signs that she was working too hard weren't the only things that Falin could see. She could finally appreciate the gleam of Marcille's lips after she applied that sweet smelling balm she loved so much on them, and the way the rounded tips of her ears would flush just as prettily as her cheeks when she was embarrassed or excited or flustered. She could drown in those bright, big green eyes, the ones that were always searching for the truth and a solution. Then there was her soft skin, always kept clean with soap and soft with lotions and balms and she just felt and smelt so good sometimes Falin wanted to just devour her whole to keep her to herself and-
Hmm.
There was that too.
Sometimes when Falin let her mind wander while appreciating Marcille this happened. Something about the feelings of a dragon were too big for her heart and mind. Sometimes the only recourse that she could think of is just to devour her mind and body so that no one else could see her and only she could ever appreciate her. It was...not unhealthy since it was a part of the Dragon's soul that had merged with hers, but it wasn't something a person should want to do.
Especially one who hadn't confessed how she felt about her childhood friend yet.
"I guess so." Marcille brought her back to reality again, blonde eyelashes fluttering as she smiled, "We were so different back then," She sighed, almost a little a dreamily, "You were so little!" she wound her arm around Falin's and leaned in, hugging herself against the appendage, "And then you had to go and grow all big on me." Falin knew she was teasing, especially with hold gently she was running her fingers against some of her feathers down her forearm. She had to resist the urge to get gooseflesh. It would be embarrassing for her feathers to puff out like that and have to explain why she felt so tingly as Marcille touched her so innocently.
"Sorry about that." Falin apologized fondly, "But I'm shorter than I was for a while, right?"
Marcille let out a theatric whine, pressing her face into Falin's arm a little harder, "Don't remind me. You were so tall I looked like an ant next to you." She huffed, fingers pressing into Falin's skin, "I much prefer you this height. At least I can actually reach you when you're this tall."
"I suppose the part of me you knew would have been hard to reach, huh." Falin mused.
The time she was a Chimera was...hazy. She could remember bits and pieces of it, but it was almost like watching something that happened to someone else most of the time. But she remembered being so much bigger. So much taller. Tall enough that Marcille was breakable if she had stepped the wrong way. It was almost a pity she couldn't remember what she'd felt when looking at Marcille after she transformed.
"It was." Marcille's voice had gone quiet, her grip a little tighter, "It was...I mean it was you and I could never hate you but-" her head tilted up, and from this angle her eyes looked so wide and sad, "I was scared of what had happened to you. That it had been my fault."
Mechanically it had. Marcille had yanked her from the land of the dead with magic so ancient Falin fancied that sometimes she could still feel the runes etched into her bones and muscle. But who could have predicted everything that came after that? Thistle and the Winged Lion? Not even someone as smart as Marcille could.
"It's fine, you know," Falin brought her hand to Marcille's cheek, thumb brushing against the crest of her cheekbone. Even now she was so much stronger than she had been, and it felt like with the wrong twitch she could destroy this perfect creature she loved so much. She pushed that thought away though, trying to focus instead on how warm Marcille's cheek was, and how her hair felt tickling her fingertips. (It was a little greasy, she'd have to gently suggest a bath together soon so she could wash it properly.) "With everything that happened...It all turned out well in the end. We're all alive. We're all happy, right?"
"I am!" Marcille answered a little too fast-a little too loudly-as she was wont to do when she was flustered. "I am." She repeated a little softer now, as if she barely believed it herself, biting her glossy lip with a row of even teeth. She peered up at Falin, eyes so hopeful and worried, "You are too, right?"
"I am." Falin answered, her voice airy, as she let her thumb caress Marcille's cheek, letting herself believe that Marcille was leaning into the touch just as she had only a few minutes ago. "I'm happy just being around you, Marcille."
"Oh!"
Falin felt Marcille's ear flick against her hand and the lip that had been locked under her teeth popped loose so her jaw could hang open in shock. It was only a moment though, before the shock morphed into an embarrassed smile and she brought her hand up to where Falin's was on her cheek to pry it away, "Jeez, Falin." She was halfhearted in her scolding, Falin could tell, from the smile and proud look in her eyes, "I'm happy around you too."
---
For the most part, Falin had to spend the majority of her days in the castle away from Marcille. She was busy with council business, advising Laios, and then checking the magical barriers and wards around the castle and town. It wouldn’t be fair to Marcille or everyone in the country if Falin lingered around every corner attempting to entice Marcille to ditch her duties to go lay in a field of flowers or share a pastry.
Falin did her best to keep herself busy though. Her healing magic was useful in everyday life, so it was easy to find someone who needed a bone set, or a stomach bug that a child was suffering with. It was nice to spend time in town helping them sort through healing herbs and tonics all the while chatting with the people who lived here.
Beside that there were the natural dungeons that formed outside of Laios’ ring of influence for her to explore and hunt in. None would ever be as expansive as the Island’s cursed dungeon, but at the very least they had resources to gather and monsters to hunt.
That was one change Falin hadn’t expected. She had always been willing to fight to defend herself or Laios or Marcille but she’d never felt the need to go out and prove she could kill something before. Perhaps it was the Dragon’s soul exerting its influence on her after all, reminding her that she was dangerous and powerful.
Hunt trophies are an excellent gift to a potential mate. She could almost fancy she heard the Dragon’s soul say, as she swung her mace staff at a dire wolf. The pelts would be perfect for her quarters. The claws and teeth are perfect for components in spells. The crunch of the dire wolf’s skull would have made her stomach turn before, but now a sharp thrill ran through her as the rest of the pack yelped and whined and scurried off further into the dungeon to escape.
“I’m sorry,” Falin apologized to the wheezing dire wolf at her feet. It wasn’t quite dead yet, fear clear in its golden eye, “I won’t make you suffer, friend.” She placed a hand against the beast’s muzzle, feeling the hot and quick breath against her skin, and her feathers rose at the sensation. She had to finish it. Destroy it.
Claim it.
These sorts of urges always rose up in the dungeons. Where no one could witness the way her pupils dilated, and her fangs bared in excitement. Where she didn’t mind the blood coating her hand from where she pressed the blade of her knife into the beast’s skull easily, putting it out of its misery.
No one could watch her regard the red-hot blood on her fingers and pop them into her mouth to taste.
Fresh. Clean. Hot.
Delicious. A worthy gift. The Dragon in her crowed, and Falin was inclined to agree.
Of course, sometimes Falin and the Dragon in her weren’t quite correct when it came to giving gifts to Marcille.
“Falin?!” Marcille did not sound happy when she strode into the castle’s main hall with the corpse of the dire wolf draped over her shoulder. Her face looked a little ashen, in fact, and her eyes wide with shock. “What did you-”
“Oh! You went to a dungeon, Falin?” Laios interrupted with excitement, rising from his seat to greet his sister, “Look at the size of this thing! You took it down all by yourself?”
Falin couldn’t help but puff up a bit at the praise. She couldn’t help it. It was impressive, after all.
“I did. I scared off the rest of the pack though. I could have gotten more if I’d been a little less aggressive.” Falin spun to show her brother the whole corpse, preening at every ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ he uttered.
“You went alone?” Marcille’s voice sounded tiny in comparison to how big Laios’ praise had been. Falin noticed the way that her fingers gripped the fabric of her dress tightly, knuckles going white. Her ears were down turned, her brow furrowed.
“Yes?” Falin tilted her head, trying to understand why Marcille was suddenly so upset.
“That’s-!” Marcille started, then bit her lip to hold her tongue for a long moment, in a way Falin knew meant she was trying to find a better way of saying something instead of just blurting it out, “That’s too reckless, Falin.” She finally settled on, her voice warbling.
“It’s fine, Marcille. Falin can handle herself.” Laios waved off, patting Falin on the shoulder, “See? She even brought back something for all of us to eat and use!”
Falin felt her plumage fluff up at that, hackles raised at Laios trying to claim her gift. No. This isn’t for you.
“No.” The word came out fast, harsh. Harsh enough that even Falin was taken about by how quickly and full of venom it had been. She watched Laios blink at her in confusion, taking a step back from his sister. She saw how even Kabru, who’d stayed seated the whole time, suddenly peered over at her with curiosity.
“It’s a gift.” Falin whispered, suddenly a little embarrassed, “For Marcille.”
Every eye in the room turned towards Marcille, who seemed to be doing her best to marshal up her emotions. Of course, she was failing. It was something Falin had always loved about Marcille-the fact that even though she'd been raised in privilege and court and taught to keep a diplomatic face and manner she could never manage to do that around those she loved. That no matter what was happening around her, Falin always knew where Marcille stood by the look on her face.
Right now, however, Falin started to have a sinking feeling that maybe she'd made a mistake somewhere down the line. Because tears were prickling at the edges of Marcille's eyes, and her cheeks were getting ruddy with frustration and the fabric under her fingers was beginning to creak under the pressure. This wasn't happiness.
"You-you shouldn't be taking risks like that!" If Marclle had meant to try and sound calm it was failing. Her voice was shrill with panic, "The dungeon is gone, Falin, there's no resurrection anymore! If something were to happen to you I-" She cut herself off, a hiccuping sob breaking through as her tears started to spill over her lashes, "You just can't Falin, you-" She swiped at her eyes with the heel of her palm and shook her head furiously, "I'm sorry I need to-"
Falin's heart pinched in her chest, her words lurching up out of her throat in a croak.
"Marcille, I-" Falin tried to start to apologize but it was too late-Marcille had already gathered up her skirts and flew from the room without a word. And then it was just Falin standing there with Laios and Kabru just silently taking in what happened. Falin would have slumped over if it wouldn't have meant the dire wolf would fall off her back. Instead, she just ducked her head down, blinking hard against her own tears welling up.
"Falin, you okay?" Laios' voice was hesitant as he approached her again, his hand on her shoulder softer than before. Petulantly, Falin was struck with the urge to brush it off but stopped herself. Instead, she just shook her head rapidly, with a pathetic sniff, "C'mon. We can take this down to the staff, they'll know what to do with it."
The walk down through the castle was quiet, the only noise echoing through the halls were their foot falls and Falin's miserable sniffling. The hunt master was more than shocked when the king and his sister interrupted his midday meal, but was more than accommodating to offer to skin the beast and parcel it up for them to take to the kitchen and the tanner. While he worked, the siblings sat in the corner of his workspace, Falin curled in on herself against the wall and Laios sitting on a spare stool next to her waiting for her to speak.
When no words came for a few minutes and a hound came over to snuffle against Falin's cheek Laios finally spoke, while beckoning the dog over to him.
"I don't think Marcille is really that upset at you, Falin."
"You don't know that." Falin grumbled, "She stormed off and everything."
Laios chuckled, "You act like she doesn't do that all the time."
"Not with me!" Falin whined, finally looking up at her big brother with a truly pitiful expression on her face, "She never runs away from me."
This felt very nostalgic somehow, staring up at her brother when she was upset, hoping he could fix it because Laios could help her with anything. She could always depend on him. And even though Laios was never the best with emotions, Falin was still looking to him to fix this for her.
"You have to look at it from her perspective," Laios started, his voice the diplomatic tone he'd started to adopt when he was in council meetings or deliberating for someone, "She's worried that if you go off and do something on your own that you can't handle that she'll never see you again."
"But she's fine with me traveling out of the country and doing my research," Falin argued, "She's never gotten upset about that!"
"Well..." Laios grimaced, and instantly Falin knew he was trying to decide whether lying was the better option instead of telling the truth, "She's usually worried sick about you when you're gone, to be honest." He fiddled with his thumbs, sighing, "Kabru is always complaining about it, since she's fine for the first week you're gone, but after that she's very absentminded during meetings and court until you come back."
Falin's heart sank in her chest and she buried her head in her arms and knees again, folding into herself further. This was awful. The opposite of what she'd wanted to happen. She wanted Marcille to babble about the properties of dire wolf fangs in offensive wards, and to coo over the pelt being used in a warm blanket for her bed. She wanted Marcille to press closely to her and hold her tightly and thank her in that way she did that made Falin's whole chest feel warm and light.
Now to find out that when she wasn't here that she was struggling with her duties in worry?
This was going terribly.
"I didn't mean for that to happen." Falin murmured, her words muffled by her knees, "I don't want to make her upset. I hate when she's upset."
"I know."
"It makes me feel so..." Falin couldn't really put it into words. She'd never liked seeing Marcille upset, even when they were children. Back then though, it was usually over coursework or something that someone had said about Falin that made her upset. And then there was when they'd been adventurers together where most of her annoyances were aimed at the dungeon or their friends more than anything else. It was almost always something that Falin could fix with a gentle word or a smile or a treat. Now?
It made her stomach twist to know that she was the cause of such extended anguish.
Why hadn't Marcille said anything?
"Do you remember when we were children, and we read that book on dragons?" Laios started, placing his hand on Falin's shoulder, "And how excited we were learning about all the different things that they could do?" He paused, and Falin fancied that she could hear her his smile grow on his face, "And how we learned about their hoards, and I said I wanted a whole hoard of dogs?"
That pulled a watery chuckle out of Falin, and she peeked over her elbow to look up at her brother who had a fond, if far off look in his eyes.
"Even before you changed, you were always so focused on Marcille and how she felt and what she was doing. In almost every letter you brought her up, and after she joined our party you were practically glued at the hip." He shrugged absently, continuing, "I was just so glad you had a close friend I didn't think about it too much. But...you're in love with Marcille, right?"
Oh, it felt awful hearing her brother say it out loud. Falin's face felt so hot and she immediately ducked it back into her knees to break eye contact with her brother. It was embarrassing if even Laios knew about it. She thought she was being subtle. Subtle enough that Marcille would slowly realize and say she felt the same way in some big romantic moment like she loved so much. Instead, here she was waiting for her stupid botched gift to finish being butchered and cleaned to present like a fool.
And Laios was here. She'd never figured that would be part of it.
"The Dragon in you," Laios continued after a moment, "It's making everything feel bigger about Marcille right? Because you want her just for you."
"It sounds so stupid when you say it out loud," Falin groaned, her words muffled, "It's not the Dragon's soul that made me want to stay with Marcille."
"I know." Laios squeezed her shoulder, "But it's making you feel it stronger than you might have otherwise. It's like a cross between courting and trying to make a hoard." she heard him pause to think and then he huffed out a laugh, "I sort of wish we still had that book now so we knew what the next step to help you out would be!"
"I should just tell her." Falin muttered glumly, "Not that it's going to sound any kind of sane. 'Sorry Marcille, I went and hunted this wild monster so I could prove I could provide for you and me and also would you let me secret you away where no one else can see you except me?'"
"That does sound pretty bad," Laios agreed, "But you never know how she'll react if you don't try. She's been through a lot since you got eaten, you know, she's stronger than you think."
Falin finally lifted her head fully, taking in her brother's amused smile. She'd spent enough time away recently that it seemed he'd grown more responsible in the time she'd been gone. More king-like. What an odd thing to see in the brother you grew up wrestling and cuddling under blankets reading books late into the night with a lantern. Gone was the awkward child and in its place was a man who was secure and happy. It was a good thing. Even if it was a little sad.
"C'mon. We can take the pelt to the tanner and bring the meat to the kitchen and help some of the cooks make something Marcille might eat."
A few hours later, after a trip to the tanner where he promised to give the pelts the best care, and then a trip to the kitchen where the cooks and kitchen maids cooed and fussed over the two of them wanting to help make a meal, Falin was making her way to Marcille's chambers.
She'd picked a tall spire of a tower, the one right above the library, which suited her perfectly. She had her office on a lower level and then her personal chambers above. It was nice for Falin because if she was feeling particularly adventurous she could simply climb up from one of the parapets and guard posts up to her windowsill. (Nevermind that the first time she'd been shocked by a barrier spell that nearly had her fall a few stories down, Marcille had created an exception in the spell to allow her in)
Tonight though she was sheepishly climbing the stairs to where Marcille would be moping in her room, with a copious amount of food and drink on a tray. The dire wolf meat had been put in a stew and some meat pies, and Falin had begged for a raspberry tart for dessert to go with it all, along with a kettle of tea. So now she stood in front of Marcille's chamber door, a little nervous. And with no free hands.
"Marcille?" She called out tentatively, "I brought you some dinner."
She waited a long moment, nearly long enough for her to panic, before Marcille's face peeked out from a crack in the door with a flat expression.
"Is there dire wolf meat in it?"
Falin mustered up as an apologetic smile as she could and shrugged helplessly, "Yes. But there are normal veggies, bread, and I got you a raspberry tart too. And tea."
It was another moment of Marcille's flat stare before she sighed and opened the door fully so she could let Falin in. "I guess it would be a bad idea to waste the food..." She grumbled, clearing off the small table she took her breakfast at sometimes, gesturing it, "And it would be rude after you-" a flush crossed her face and her ears twitched, "You went through all the trouble."
"Right." Falin agreed, placing the tray down, watching as Marcille wrung her hands with her eyes downcast, "I wanted to apologize, Marcille. I didn't mean to worry you so much."
Marcille's eyes raised sharply, her mouth twisting into a frown as she sat hard in one of the chairs at the table, "Do you know why I'm so upset? Or are you just apologizing because you know you have to?"
"I-" Falin was taken a bit aback by that. She'd expected that Marcille was going to apologize in kind for yelling in the main hall, but instead she was being leveled with a glare that had her gingerly sitting across from Marcille at the small table, "I know I made you worry because I was off on my own fighting monsters. But Marcille, I do that when I travel all the time?"
"But you're home right now," Marcille countered, "And there are so many people here who would go with you-including me. So why would you do that?"
Because it's easier to do it alone, Falin wanted to argue, because I was going to prove how strong I was. Because I missed you and you're always so busy and I only want you to pay attention to me me me-
"I...I was showing off," Falin settled on, mumbling and embarrassed, "I'm so much more powerful than I was before." She lifted her hands, helpless to explain it better, "Not just my magic, but my body. I wanted to prove I could protect you-to-" She stumbled over the words, wincing, "I can't explain it well, it's just...you're so busy with your work. I don't want to bother you. And this is something I can do. Easily."
Falin watched Marcille's expression shift from annoyance to a pained one, her ears drooping as she explained herself. Her eyes, those beautiful green eyes, were crestfallen, "I'm never too busy for you, Falin, you know that. And-and you don't have to put yourself in danger to show off for me! I'm not-I know you can take care of yourself." she bit her lip, shoulders bunching up as she sucked in a shuddering breath, fighting off any tears, "Please, just tell me next time, and I'll drop everything and go with you. So I can help you."
"Okay." Falin nodded quickly, "I will. I'm sorry." There was a long moment of strained silence before she motioned towards the food numbly, “It’ll get cold if we don’t start eating it so…”
Marcille heaved a huge, weary sigh, but picked up her small meat pie and managed a wry if small smile, “Haven’t had to eat any monsters since I ate you, you know.”
“I know.” Falin laughed, picking up her own meat pie, raising it up in a small toast, “But I’m glad you’ll make an exception for me.”
“Duh, Falin.” Marcille shook her head, cocking an eyebrow, “I’d do nearly anything for you.”
She was sure Marcille had to notice how brightly she was beaming at that statement, but Falin didn’t care. Let the whole castle know how happy that made her for all she cared.