Chapter Text
Reasons hiring Stolas as a secretary and bookkeeper is the best idea Blitz has ever had:
- The paperwork is actually organized and filed away for the first time.
- He’s great with the clients.
- Stolas is around all the time.
Reasons hiring Stolas as a secretary and bookkeeper is the worst idea Blitz has ever had:
- Stolas wears glasses since he’s reading for long periods of time. He looks good in glasses, he looks too good in glasses.
- Stolas answering the phone and saying, “Thank you for calling I.M.P, how may I help you today?” Makes Blitz want him carnally.
- The fact that Blitz cannot even focus on doing his work anymore, because all he wants to do is spread Stolas out on his desk.
Stolas, of course, is completely oblivious to the fact that this is happening in Blitz’s mind, he’s just enjoying doing his job. He bounces around the office in utter glee, he’s finally found something useful to do! And if just so happens to look good while doing it and rile Blitz up a bit, that is just the icing on the cake.
“Here is the latest spreadsheet I made,” Stolas says while pushing his glasses up with one of his talons. “The numbers have gone up a bit, I think you’ll be quite pleased with them. Oh, I’ve also filed away the rest of the paperwork like you asked.”
Blitz’s mouth goes completely dry. “Yeah…great. Hey, speaking of spreadsheets, we could go into my office and I could spread your cheeks and do that thing were I-”
“We are at work,” Stolas says, cutting him off, “And we agreed to keep things professional. Flirting with your bookkeeper is not professional.”
“It is when the bookkeeper looks sexy.”
Stolas gives him a look that says stop talking and turns around to leave Blitz alone in his office. Before he leaves, Stolas gets a wicked idea - he bends over and pretends to pick something on the ground, which makes Blitz groan. Stolas hears the thump of Blitz’s head hitting the desk. Mission accomplished.
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Stolas is sitting at his desk when they all get back from the field. Blitz can hear his talons tapping against the floor as he shifts through the paperwork. Stolas has never looked more beautiful. Blitz has never been more attracted to him. He needs to do something about this. Blitz walks over to Stolas’ desk before he changes his mind.
“Well, haidy ha hoo ha, Stolas,” Blitz says while hoisting himself up to sit on Stolas’ desk, “Whatcha doing?”
“Well, I was organizing the paperwork for the new clients,” Stolas says softly, “However, my boss has decided that it would be better if he sat on them instead of letting me organize them. Do you need something, Blitz?”
“I do. I need to see you in my office.”
“Is this for something related to work, or is it something related to you spreading me out on your desk in a way that is not professional?”
“It’s…a performance review”
Stolas looks at him quizzically, he knows what Blitz is trying to do, but rather than stop Blitz for starting something that is not appropriate for the office - he would much rather follow Blitz and see where this goes, it might be fun seeing just how much Blitz wants him. That’s why Stolas gets up from his desk and follows Blitz into his office. For things that are completely related to work.
Blitz shoves all the paperwork off his desk the second Stolas closes the door to his office. Is it a little desperate? Maybe. All Blitz knows is that he wants to hoist Stolas onto this desk, rip off his pantsuit, and shove his tongue into Stolas’ cloaca. They’ll play the game where Blitz sees how far his tongue can go and how long Stolas can last before he falls completely apart. This is going to be so fun.
“Blitz,” Stolas says sternly. “That was the paperwork I organized while you were out. It still needs to be filed away.”
“Stols, I need the whole desk for the review. Hop up here.”
Stolas sighs as he lowers himself down to sit on Blitz’s desk, there is no point in arguing with him, Blitz is the boss after all. Blitz’s tongue darts out as he looks Stolas up and down. Stolas looks absolutely delicious.
“Is there something wrong with my performance,” Stolas asks softly. “Have I done anything wrong?”
“Nope,” Blitz says while spreading Stolas’ legs open. “You’re doing a great job. Best secretary ever.”
Stolas shuts his legs. Access denied. It’s not like he wants to deny Blitz, he would much rather have Blitz ravish him on this desk until he forgets what his name is, but that side of his brain is raging war against the professional side; sadly, the professional side of his brain is winning the war.
Stolas gives Blitz that Stolas is desperately hoping he can read. “We agreed, Blitz. We will remain professional in the office: no flirting, no kissing, no touching for long amounts of time. We agreed on this so we would not be trying to jump into each other’s bones every twenty seconds.”
“I know,” Blitz utters, he lowers his head down to put it against Stolas’ leg. “You just need to stop looking sexy. It ain’t fair.”
“I’m not even doing anything sexy.”
“That’s what makes it sexier.”
Stolas runs his talons along Blitz’s horns. He isn’t trying to be particularly sexy, he’s just trying to do his job. “My legs are closed until after 5:00, I’m afraid, but…”
Blitz looks up at him. Eager. Wanting. “But?”
“I suppose…you can kiss me. To help tide you over until the end of the day.”
Blitz immediately shoots up and kisses Stolas. Kisses him again. And again. And again. Until Blitz is kissing Stolas like he needs to kiss Stolas to fill his lungs with air. Stolas gives into it. Who cares about being professional when you’re being kissed like this?
Stolas certainly doesn’t.