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Kili was fucked.
In his professional opinion, Fucked with a capital F.
He’d tried calling Thorin or Gimli - no reception. He’d tried banging on the door, he’d tried kicking the door, both he and Fili had, at one point, run, jumped, and simultaneously heaved themselves into the door. The thick metal door. The thick metal door that was firmly shut.
“Must be an employee only food cellar,” Said Fili “Probably keeps the food cold and in easy reach of the workers”
Hobbiton beach was a small, warm, sandy beach that was run as a small resort. You could book beach chairs and cabanas and have food and drinks brought out to you. Or you could rent surfboards and floaties and spend the day on the ocean. There was even a small pool area for the younger kids with an ice cream station parked right next to it. The beach had become a favorite spot of Kili and Filis after their younger cousin, Gimli, had started working there two summers ago.
They’d even met the owner once, a short, no nonsense man named Bilbo that lived on the beach. They both liked him immensely for not calling the cops on them or firing Gimli when he found them attempting to climb out of what had apparently been his yard and not a garden that guests were allowed to visit as they’d thought.
“Do you think Mr. Bogins will forgive us again, now that we’re second time offenders?”
Fili shrugged “Maybe, I sure hope so. And it’s Baggins, get him name right when we’re let loose”
Kili frowned and lightly kicked the door again “If we get loose”
As Fili had pointed out they were currently in a food cellar. A very cold food cellar. It was maybe about a foot into the ground and 6 feet wide in all directions with stairs leading up to the door and a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling projecting weak light throughout the small room. He and Fili had climbed in originally thinking it held some secret of the beach, like a small underground bar or pool, the door had shut behind them and locked.
That had been about 20 minutes ago.
~
Thorin normally avoided beaches as a rule. The large “What the fuck” printed on his back would make anyone weary of going shirtless, though his nephews has reasoned with him that he could wear a black swim shirt to cover it - going so far as to buy him one as part of their latest plea for “sun and joy”
But for all that he’d searched Thorin could not find his nephews. He was beginning to get cross with them honestly, they were the ones that’d talked non-stop about the “charming beach” and the “great surfing”, they were the only reason he was here and yet they were nowhere to be found.
He tried calling them - no answer.
They all had their location shared so he tried that next - location last updated 20 minutes ago.
What the fuck were they doing.
He followed the map on his phone to their last location all the way to a slightly raised metal door, sticking diagonally out of the ground. Through it he could hear muffled speech and then a bang against the door.
He tried to open it and found the door relatively light, it came open on easy and silent hinges. He held the door open behind him and peered inside.
“Thorin!” Kili rushed to hug him “you’ve saved us!”
Thorin looked over his youngest nephew's shoulder to Fili and addressed both of them, “What have you two been doing in here?”
Fili had gone silent with relief and Kili was still hugging him instead of answering so Thorin reached down to pat him on the back
The door clanged shut behind him.
That changed both their moods and this time they both erupted in noise, yelling and banging on the door.The thick metal door. The thick metal door that was firmly shut.
Fuck.
~
Bilbo Baggins was an entirely respectable businessman, thank you. If his entirely respectable business had to do with helping a boy with scraped knees (no parents to be seen, probably off adventuring) bandage himself up and unfortunately getting ice cream spilled on himself as a consequence, well then nobody needed to know.
Hobbiton beach was his pride and joy, he’d inherited some money when he was younger and bought up the strip of beach from an old family friend looking to retire. He’d completely revamped it and turned it into a moderately successful mini resort - he may not have had a hotel or anything like that but people still came to his little beach in droves, local college kids, parents with their children, even old couples looking to relax, his beach had something for everyone and Bilbo was very proud of that.
As such there was no task too small for him. When he was not doing his managerial duties he was out as a runner, he worked the bar, he’d even gotten licensed as a lifeguard. Today he was filling in as a runner. One of his younger employees, Rosie, had called out sick today and instead of rushing to find a replacement for her shift Bilbo had stepped in and took it upon himself.
Which is how he found himself outside of the cellar, about to grab some more fresh strawberries for the daiquiris. He was about to unlock and open the door when he realized it had already been unlocked. Odd. Then he heard some murmuring coming from the other side. No one was ever supposed to shut the door because people inside and his employees knew that it was physically impossible to open the door from the inside. if they ever did accidentally shut it behind them there was a panic button, pressing it notified the bar and someone would come and get you. All of his employees also knew where the button was - as part of their training they had to shut the door behind themselves and press the button just to make absolutely sure no one would ever get locked in.
Bilbo furrowing his brow, he hoped it wasn’t what he suspected. He’d been young once too but at work? In a food cellar no less? He could think of no other reason why someone would willingly lock themselves in the chilly cellar. Someone was going to get the talking of a lifetime!
~
Thorin readied himself for the push that would finally break the door open. He’d agreed to be used somewhat as a battering ram. Fili and Kili stood on either side of the stairwell, Thorin was supposed to run up to the door and jump. When he jumped his nephews would give him an extra push up and their combined strength would force the door open.
Did he think it would work? No, but it was better than waiting around and freezing to death.
He took a deep breath and began to run at the door.
~
Bilbo ripped the door open and a dark haired man came tumbling out at full speed running straight into Bilbo and knocking them both to the ground. The strawberries would have to wait then.
All of the air left Bilbo's lungs, anything he had planned to say went straight out of his head - just as well it did as the words he’d prepared didn’t seem to apply. Instead he went with “What the fuck?” predictable as far as exclamations went but he rarely allowed himself to curse, only doing so with a solid reason and this felt like a good thing.
The man scrambled off Bilbo and out of the corner of his eye he could see two other younger men emerging from the cellar as well.
The dark haired man was staring at him, eye wide, with one hand migrating to his back.
“Are you injured?” Bilbo hoped that whatever was going on had left all parties unharmed, the last thing he needed was the paperwork, that would also allow for some cursing.
Now that Bilbo was looking at him more closely he could see the man was short, taller than him but everyone was taller than him, but very muscular and tan, that with the immediately noticeable long dark hair the man was undeniably attractive. Bilbo was rather irritated to find he was fighting a blush.
The beauty was still opening and closing his mouth after several moments so Bilbo gave up on him and turned to the two younger men. “Is your friend here ok?” He asked them.
There was a blond and a brunet. The blonde appeared to take charge of the situation and answered him, “Yes, he’s our uncle, Thorin. My name is Fili and this is my brother Kili, we were wandering around the beach and came across the cellar door, we mistook it for a “hidden experience” that is popular right now, like an underground bar?” He paused at that as if waiting to see if Bilbo knew what he was talking about or thought him raving mad, Bilbo nodded to signal his understand and he went on “Well obviously it wasn’t but the door shut behind us and we got locked in”
Bilbo looked over at the gawking uncle, a flush was spreading from the neck of his shirt to the tips of his ears, Bilbo thought it was a shame he chose to wear a beach shirt then focused his attention firmly back on the boys.
“Ok so that explains you but what about him” He asked, gesturing at the dark haired man but staunchly not looking at him
The blond spoke again “You see he came to find us, and Kili was so happy to be rescued that he rushed to huge Thorin, and because Thorin is so great and kind,” He was obviously trying to butter up his uncle and save himself a yelling at later, it was all very endearing really, “he just hugged Kili back - allowing the door to shut behind him”
Bilbo glanced at the man. The story of how he got locked was adorable and did nothing to help his flush.
He looked back at the boys and began to say something before he stopped.
He squinted at the boys, “Have I met you before?”
The brother looked at each other, alarmed, and then back to him. It was the other brother that spoke this time “Nope. I don’t believe we’ve ever had the Mr. Bogins”
“Baggins” The blond brother quickly corrected, exasperated as if he’d need to correct him before
Now Bilbo knew they were lying. He crossed his arms and fixed them with a cool stare that worked on even the most rowdy teenage beach goers “I never said my name”
“Name tag” said the blonde one quickly
Bilbo took a step towards them, he was so sure he knew them, he just needed another second to figure out where from. “My name tag only says Bilbo”
The brunet took a step backward “Oh well, fancy that” he said, it was the way he shrunk back that finally jogged Bilbo's memory
He snapped his fingers and pointed at them “Hey! You’re the boys I caught clambering over my garden wall last summer! Have you two not learned your lesson about ‘exploring’ the beach in restricted areas yet!?”
They both looked down shamefaced. This appeared to knock the beauty - Thorin he corrected himself - out of his stupor.
“I apologies for my nephews adventurous habits, it gets them into more scraps then it’s worth, and I am uninjured, thank you”
Bilbo felt a tingle on his forearm, dark blue words he’d long since stopped waiting to hear finally out in the open, and said by such a handsome man as well.
“What the fuck” Finding your soulmate was a god reason to curse, and anyone who said otherwise was taking propriety to an unneeded extreme.
For a moment the world around him seemed to freeze.
And then it all came crashing forward again.
“Okay,” Bilbo said trying to re-take control of the situation, he looked back at the brothers “Well you’ve technically done nothing wrong - there’s no sign on the door saying restricted access, although there will be soon, and the door was supposed to be locked on the outside, whoever went in last must have left it open. I’m afraid you’re merely victims of a chain of mistakes, I’ll just check inside to make sure you haven’t broken or damaged anything in what I assume was your attempt to break out and then you’ll both be good to go. However I do strongly advise you stop exploring around my beach” at that the brothers nodded and shuffled out of the way of the door.
“I’ll go with you” Thorin, his soulmate, offered quickly.
Bilbo didn’t think it was possible but he flushed even deeper, “Yes, thank you for the kind offer”
Thorin nodded at his nephews and they began to shuffle even further away, back on their way to the main beach “I’ll call you back if we need to pay for something” Thorin called after them coolly. The brothers winced and shuffled faster.
When all else failed Bilbo feel back on his manners, he marched over to the door and held it open for Thorin, opening it all the way to ensure it wouldn’t close, “After you”
~
Thorin was having heart palpitations.
His soulmate was an angel, he had to be, with the way his curls haloed around his head.
His soulmate was an angel who had apparently met his nephews before. While they were climbing out of his garden. Mahal give him strength.
Thorin climbed the stairs back down into the cellar, there were marked improvements to the cellar now that the door was open. For starters it was less cold and sunlight filled in the space, rendering the pitiful lightbulb hanging from the ceiling useless. Also his soulmate was in the cellar now, that definitely made the cellar better.
Bilbo, that was his soulmate's name, Bilbo appeared to do a small inspection of the cellar walls and shelves then he went back outside for a moment to peer at the door and the hinges before coming back down to Thorin.
“Well everything appears to be in order, nothing broken or out of place. I am very sorry you were trapped in here, there is a panic button to avoid this but I suppose non-employees wouldn’t know to push it” Bilbo said, turning his gaze over to the glowing red button under a plastic lid fixed to the wall in the corner.
“Oh,” said Thorin “Not hitting that was actually my fault, Kili was all for it and almost got Fili on his side as well but I figured the glowing red button was probably bad and I’d had enough of their fine ideas for today”
Bilbo gave a small laugh at that and Thorin decided right there and then that he would dedicate the rest of his life to making Bilbo laugh.
Bilbo opened his mouth to speak, shut it, changed his mind and opened it again “I’m not very sure what to say next, I mean I suppose I should confirm, I am your soulmate, correct?”
“Yes you are” part of Thorin was jumping up and down just saying it outloud but then a larger part was nervous, was Bilbo disappointed? Was he unsure because he did not want Thorin to be his soulmate?
HIs fears were dismissed in the next second when Bilbo heaved a sigh of relief and smiled at him, “Well that's rather good then, i would have been rather embarrass and quite a bit disappointed if I’d somehow gotten the wrong apologetic uncle”
That surprised a laugh out of Thorin and for a moment they both stood in the cellar together.
“Is your mark on you back then?” Bilbo asked
“Pardon?” Thorin was slightly jarred by the question, how did he-
“Oh, sorry, it’s just you were reaching for your back after I spoke but you said you were uninjured and - bless me your soulmark says What the fuck doesn’t it?” Bilbo's eyes grew wide and he swung his gaze back over to Thorin waiting on confirmation, “I didn’t say anything before that did I? just What the fuck and off you go, have that on your skin forever” He buried his face in his hands.
Thorin walked over and gently took Bilbo's hands away to look at him, “Yes my soulmark is on my back,” Thorin trailed off and Bilbo raised his eyebrows at him, urging him to continue “and yes it does say What the fuck.”
Bilbo groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, “Well then I’m very sorry on two accounts, locking you in a cellar and putting fuck on your back for your whole life”
“Oh no I’m perfectly happy with where I am right now,” Thorin replied, noting the flush that tipped Bilbo's ears “Though maybe you’d like to see me outside of this cellar sometime, like this Friday?” Thorin swallowed his fear and continued “there’s a small Italian place nearby, I’d love to take you.”
Bilbo smiled “Yes, I’d like that very much thank you”
They exchanged numbers and set a time, Thorin was to pick Bilbo up from his residence at the beach Friday at 8.
Emerging from the cellar for the second time that day, carrying some strawberries for Bilbo, Thorin was still having residual heart palpitations.
“well it’s been a very eventful first meeting” He said to Bilbo
“It has indeed” Replied Bilbo, who seemed to be debating something with himself
Before Thorin could ask what he was thinking, Bilbo had taken the strawberries from him, leaned up on his toes and planted a kiss on Thorin's cheek before scurrying off to do whatever his job here was.
Thorin stood, rooted to the spot and dazed, bringing a hand up to his cheek where Bilbo had kissed him. Thorin grinned from ear to ear and set off to find his nephews once again.