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1. Mika
It was strange at first, Mikaela would admit that. This relationship that had seemed to grow between the four of them over the past couple months was strange and yet it had felt completely normal like it was supposed to happen. And Mikaela’s not sure if that’s comforting or not, because nothings supposed to feel right, not here, not in this post-apocalypse driven world that they grew up in. If Mikaela’s being honest he’s frightened at these feelings that have been re-awoken. He’s been an empty vessel to negative feelings and ill will towards others that wasn’t Yuu or himself that he’s unsure how to partake on these feelings for Yoichi and Shiho.
“There nothing to be scared of.” Yuu reassures him quietly one early morning, as they lay awake whispering quietly to one another, not wanting to wake the other two who still sleep softly on either side of them. Yuu and him tucked in between the comforting warmth. Mikaela wants to tell him, explain to him that he doesn’t understand. Feelings come naturally to the other boy, he wouldn’t understand Mikaela’s fear. But there’s a part of Mikaela that feels he doesn’t need to explain, Yuu must know what he’s going through, right? These feelings of caring for more people that he could possibly lose, Mikaela’s not sure he can handle that. In fact, he wishes these feelings never rose to the surface.
He speaks, voice shaky and uneven as he tries his best to speak in a whisper, “What if I can’t protect them, can’t protect you, Yuu?” He suddenly feels bare, his worst fear out in the open. Yuu takes a moment to respond but before he can there’s a tightening around Mikaela’s waist that causes his eyes to widen in surprise Yoichi’s soft voice heavy with sleep, “Don’t carry the burden all on yourself Mika-kun, you’re not alone.”
There’s a shuffling behind Yuu as Kimizuki rises from the bed, Yuu quietly complaining from the loss of warmth as the taller male stands and stretches. He doesn’t glance at them as he gathers their dirty clothing from the floor, “Don’t worry over pointless things all on your own, we’re a family now, so if something’s bothering you, you can tell us.”
Mikaela blinks back tears as Yoichi and Yuu both sit up on both sides of him their soft smiles almost too much for him. “We’ll protect each other Mika, so don’t worry about something as silly as that. Just as much as you want to protect us we want to be able to protect you.” Yuu speaks ever so softly.
Mikaela suddenly feels overwhelmed with words that he wants to speak but yet he can’t find the words to express how he feels, how this feeling of fear just isn’t just from wanting to protect them but from other things as well, these feeling of fear of what the future holds for them, this fear of the sudden feeling of emotions he’s not exactly sure how to express. There’s a lot he wants to say but instead he also sits up on the bed between the two who watch him carefully. Yoichi quickly reaches out and caressing his face as he wipes at Mikaela’s tears, and Yuu who only cards his fingers through Mikaela’s own. It’s only seconds later that Kimizuki joins them on the bed placing his own hand on top of Yuu’s and his own. And that’s all it takes for the dam to break. They let him cry as the continue to hold him, his quite sobs of ‘thank you,’ filling the silence.
2. Yuu
It was after the second month of running away from the battle of Nagoya that Yuu was able to spot the difference in Mika’s demeanor around the others. He wasn’t as withdrawn, his gazes weren’t that of someone untrusting towards you, and most of all he smiled and laughed more and more each day with the others. Well as much as they could anyways with the current situation still weighing heavy on their minds it was hard to smile as much as they used to. But that isn’t what matters, what matters was that Mika was smiling and laughing. Often time’s Yuu would lag behind for he could watch Mika interact with the others, the scene causing a warmth to spread through his chest.
It had taken a while but it happened and nothing could’ve made Yuu happier even under these horrid circumstances.
__
It was the during their third month of moving from place to place, the group trying their best to get further and further away from the terrible memories that it happened.
It wasn’t something like a grand gesture that caused it to happen, nor was it something that caused a burning lust to fill the pits of their bellies, nor anything like a grand battle that occurred between the four of them that caused them to spill their feelings for one another. It was simple really, all it took was for Kimizuki and Yoichi’s room ceiling to leak that caused the two of them to quickly find shelter in Mika and Yuu’s room the four of them piling on the small bed.
“Fuck, Kimizuki move you’re elbow it’s stabbing me right in my spleen.” Yuu complained as he tried to scoot back away from the taller male only for his back to be flush against Mika’s chest who only hums at the contact. “Yuu-Chan if he moves anymore he’ll be pushing poor Yoichi off the bed.” Mika speaks, his lips brushing the back of Yuu’s head.
“Maybe I should just sleep on the fl-“
“No!”
The loud chorus from the three other males echo throughout the small room their outburst causing Yoichi to squeak rather loudly and attempt to curl into himself more.
“Stupid Kimizuki! Sleep on the floor for Yoichi doesn’t have to!” Comes Yuu’s instant reply as he starts squirming out of Mika’s arms although it’s a vain attempt. There’s a grumble from the taller male as he starts trying his best to free himself from in between Yuu and Yoichi. “Wait Yuu, I think there’s a better way to solve this.” Mika speaks softly against the crown of Yuu’s head.
“Yeah it’s called letting Kimizuki sleep on the ground.”
“It’s not fair for us to sleep on the bed while Kimizuki sleeps on the ground.” Is Yoichi’s soft reply as Kimizuki finally frees himself from the beds confines and crawls over Yoichi quickly. “We should join him.” Come’s Mika next reply. Yuu sighs but nods anyways. “Fine, but I call dibs on sleeping in the middle.”
Five minutes later their blankets are spread out of the floor the four of them sharing the one giant comforter. Yuu and Yoichi lay in the middle, Mika laying on the other side of Yuu and Kimizuki lays besides Yoichi.
They don’t speak at first, too busy trying to find a comfortable way to sleep. Mika scooting closer towards Yuu until he can comfortably wrap an arm around Yuu’s waist. Yuu doesn’t complain and can’t even find it in himself to complain when Yoichi pushes his legs between Yuu’s quickly entangling them together, “Is this okay?” he asks his lips brushing against Yuu’s. Yuu nods in reply, his eyes barely making out the shape of Yoichi’s smile as the latter turns his head and mumbles something to Kimizuki who hums in reply and scoots closer wrapping his own around the other male’s waist.
A few more minutes past before Mika breaks the silence once more, “I think…we’re gonna need to find bigger beds from now on.”
There’s a soft laugh from Yoichi, “Isn’t that the truth.”
__
Yuu wonders if he could stop time as he gazes at his friends faces as the sit around the camp fire, their laughter loud and they joke and pass around the Manga that he had dug up from somewhere. He’s truly happy, he thinks fondly as he glances at Mika who only smiles warmly as him and Shinoa predict on what would have happened in the second book. Kimizuki and Narumi talking quietly amongst themselves, and Mitsuba who sits quite a bit away cleaning her cursed gear occasionally joining in Mika and Shinoa’s conversation.
“What are you thinking about?” Yoichi’s asks as he snuggles closer to Yuu, his arms wrapped around the others waist, Yuu’s mimicking the action as he looks down at the slightly shorter male who sits cuddled up against him. “That I’m happy.”
Yoichi smiles and nods, “Me too.”
__
“I’m happy.” The words echo through his head like a cursed mantra, the voice – his voice- grows louder and louder the more he tries to block it out. ‘Shut up,’ he wants to shout but he finds himself unable to speak. His ears are ringing as the voice continues to chant and when he’s about to try to shout once again, a new voice speaks over his own, the one that continues to chant. “Would it be so bad to stay like this? To never go back to the world that is overcome with war?” The voice is small, meek, but it rang louder than anything Yuu’s ever heard before.
“Fuck!” He cries out as he lands onto the dirtied floor dragging the blanket down and a half asleep Yoichi who was saved just in time by Mika who catches him before he suffers the same fate as Yuu.
“Yuu-Chan? What’s wrong, what happened?” Mika asks as he pulls Yoichi back up who only blinks owlishly in his arms before he glances down at Yuu. “Yuu-kun what’s wrong?” Yoichi asks sleep still evident in his voice. “It’s too early for this.” Kimizuki groans as he also sits up in the bed, hair ruffled from sleep.
Yuu quickly stands untangling himself from the blanket as he doesn’t meet their looks of concern. “It was nothing…let’s just go back to bed.” He says as he bends to pick up the blanket. “This doesn’t seem like nothing.” Mika’s voice is stern. Yuu sighs as he stands and looks at the three of them before he gives in he mumbles, “Are you guys happy? Like right now?”
“Yes.” The three of them reply without a second thought. The answer causing Yuu to tear his gaze away from the dusty wall and towards them. Yoichi and Kimizuki both looking like they’re going to fall asleep any moment, despite himself he smiles. “What does us being happy have to do with you having woken us up so late in the night?” Kimizuki asks as he rubs at his eyes. “What if we didn’t go back?” Yuu speaks all at once causing the three of them to stare at him, the silence stretching for a few seconds as Yoichi pulls away from Mika’s arms and scoots closer to the edge of the bed, “Are you talking about us not going back to rescue the others?” His tone is soft but Yuu feels as if he’s been scolded. Yuu takes a deep breath as he looks away from the three of them. “Never mind what I just said, I’m spouting nonsense.”
“Yuu-chan it’s normal to feel that way.” Mika speaks up next.
“It’s just we’re finally happy. Are we really making the right choice to go back? I want to rescue the others all the same but…but not if it means endangering you guys.”
“This isn’t like you.” Kimizuki finally speaks up.
“I know.” He cries out frustrated.
“It’s okay to feel like this every now and again, Yuu.” Yoichi reassures as he reaches out a hand and gently grabs Yuu wrist pull him back to the bed.
“I feel as if I said something cowardly.” Yuu grumbles as he now sits on the bed between Yoichi and Mika, Kimizuki joining them.
“Yuu-kun, there’s nothing cowardly about admitting your fears especially to those who care about you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about, all of us will live to see the day we’re truly free from everything.” Kimizuki reaches his hand out to grasp Yuu’s.
Yuu fights back tears as he nods. “It’s just, I’m so happy.”
Before he realizes it Yuu’s in the middle of a group hug, “We know Yuu-chan, we know.”
3. Kimizuki
It was all so confusing to him, this relationship that seemed to come out from nowhere, but truly he knows it was somehow bound to happen. The lingering touches that had occurred more often, the teasing that ensued between the four of them. It would probably be considered blatant flirting more than teasing honestly.
But it hadn’t occurred right away, the first month was difficult to say the least. The first couple of days Yuu had been unconscious. The idiot sleeping peacefully while the rest of them were left to worry by his side. When the fifth day came around Kimizuki felt dread that felt all too familiar, it was the odd sense of déjà vu he wishes he wouldn’t be feeling. “This idiot.” He mumbles as he grasps Yuu’s hand in his, he only keeps the warmth in his for a mere two minutes scared that one of the others would walk in and see, Lord knows they wouldn’t let him live it down.
__
Yuu wakes up the next day, his first instinct being to jump from the bed and demand for answers about what has happened. Where was Guren? What about Shinya and the others? They answer him to the best of their abilities explaining in detail about everything that had happened up to the point that led to them currently hiding out in a rundown hotel. Kimizuki expects Yuu to bolt out of bed and demand that the seven of them return to fight and to get the remaining members of their family but instead his gaze lands on Mika who stands alone in the corner his figured hunched over and he asks for them to be alone.
It’s when they all exit the room and Yoichi and him are sitting down on their shared bed that Yoichi finally speaks. “You love him don’t you?”
“You’re the same aren’t you?”
There’s an awkward chuckle as Yoichi scratches his cheek a small smile forming on his lips, “Yuu-kun is very lovable in his own way.”
Kimizuki scoffs as he lay back on the bed to gaze at the cracked ceiling. “He loves Mika.”
There’s a pause before Yoichi speaks again, “I don’t expect him to stop loving him. And I don’t want him too.”
Kimizuki sighs as he gazes at the other male, “I never expected the idiot to stop loving him either.”
___
It was honestly surprising how much Mika’s attitude towards them had change, his voice now holding more emotion as he spoke and joked around them, he no longer kept a distance from the others now actually walking with the group rather than from behind. It was only after he had heard Mika laugh that Kimizuki realized he wouldn’t mind hearing that sound more often. But he wouldn’t admit that aloud.
And then the touching began, the light pats on the shoulders or the brushing of fingers as they walked or handed something to the other. It wasn’t forced it just came naturally to them. It felt right. There was a warmth that had started to form whenever it was just the four of them. And then the relationship had just happened after one night of sharing a bed on the ground.
And it’s confusing because he hadn’t expected Yoichi and his feelings to be returned. He tells this to Mika one night as they stand under the stars Yoichi and Yuu somewhere else with the others, Yuu having insisted that they go explore the area they had decided to stay in for the night. When there’s no reply Kimizuki glances over at the shorter their gazes meeting for only a second or two before the taller looks away face flushing. Mika chuckles at this, “You two aren’t unlovable as you may think.”
Kimizuki isn’t sure how to reply so he says, “So you love us?”
Now it’s Mika’s turn to splutter red eyes wide in embarrassment, his face flushed as he tries to look at anything but the taller male who busies himself with starting the fire. There’s a moment of silence before Mika grumbles, “I’m not really sure but I think this feeling is love.”
Kimizuki merely hums in reply as he stands once the fire is lit, “Lets hurry and call those idiots back before Shinoa and Yuu talk the others into doing something stupid.”
It’s once the two are walking the short distance to where the others stand that Kimizuki says, “I think I may love you also and I don’t mean in the familial sense.”
Mika snorts at this as he stuffs his hands into his coat pocket, “Obviously.”
4. Yoichi
He wonders what he’s done to deserve this happiness.
He wonders if this is really alright, for the four of them to find happiness in each other during such a crucial time. It almost makes him feel like he’s committing a crime. “It’s okay to be happy.” Mika tells him one night as Yoichi lays in his arms, Kimizuki and Yuu already deep into their slumber. Yuu spread eagle and mumbling and Kimizuki’s soft snores fill the silence.
Yoichi finds it himself to smile though it quickly fades as he asks almost hesitant, “Is it truly alright?” He wants to say more admit his worry for their comrades, his fear for the safety of Shinya and Guren, what was to become of them? Was he doing them wrong by feeling this happiness at this moment?
“Yes.” Mika’s reply is instant, his voice steady and sure. It almost makes Yoichi believe that maybe this happiness is the right thing after all. “I’m scared.” He admits.
And he is scared, he’s scared for what’s to happen to them in the future. Even if things were fine and dandy now they still had a war they needed to win, people they needed to rescue. “It’s okay to be scared.” Mika reassures.
Yoichi wants to argue but he stops himself. “I’m worried about Yuu and Kimizuki.” He says instead. Mika hums for him to go on. “They haven’t really talked about what happened in Nagoya since the day Yuu woke up.”
“And Kimizuki hasn’t even mentioned his sister. I’m worried they’ll get themselves hurt when we finally return to battle.”
Mika presses a kiss to his forehead, “That’s why we don’t let them get themselves hurt.”
Yoichi only wishes things were that easy.
___
He wishes he’s never tasted the sweetness that makes up happiness because now that he has he can’t get enough, he’s hooked and doesn’t want to forget it. But just like everything good in his life it must come to an end.
This world is cruel Yoichi thinks as he sits on cold sand, the spray of ocean water chilling his skin.
But that’s something he’s already known.