Archive of Our Own

Chilchuck relished the icy cold breeze on his sweaty face as he burst out into the rear parking lot of the hospital, the one for the employees that visitors still park in. He patted himself down until the sharp corner of a fresh pack of Newports hit his palm, and he remembered he’d been trying to use the inside pockets after he’d accidentally dropped a pack during a call and wasted thirteen bucks and tax before he’d even opened the damn thing. He was fortunate enough to have remembered his lighter, too; Senshi’s visiting family this weekend and he has no one else to bum a light from. He’d gotten in trouble the last time he asked a patient out of desperation.

He flicked his zippo and lit it in one smooth motion, a party trick that had long worn out its novelty. He was just about to put it to the menthol-cool cigarette between his lips when two large hands entered his vision. One clapped the zippo shut and the other pinched the cig by the filter, tugging both out of Chilchuck’s grip.

“Yoink.”

“You mother fucker—”

Laios laughed as Chilchuck lunged after the precious nicotine clutched in his big hands, held just out of reach.

“This doesn’t look like twenty feet to me,” Laios grinned.

“I was going to hold it in until I reached the grass, fuck off, alright?”

“Then you won’t mind if I walk with you?”

Laios returned what he’d taken, and Chilchuck snatched it back. “Fine, fine, whatever. Come freeze your ass off with me.”

They crossed the parking lot, stepping carefully across black ice and hopping the curb to stand in the grass, a foot beyond the premises. Chilchuck made pointed eye contact with Laios as he stuck the cigarette between his lips and flicked the lighter open and shut, taking a long drag. He debated breathing it in Laios’ face, but decided to turn away. He blew a thin plume of smoke that caught on the brisk wind and whipped away. “Happy?”

“Not exactly,” Laios admitted. “You shouldn’t smoke, Chil.”

Chilchuck scowled. “Oh, here we go… listen, it’s my right to poison my body however I want. Just look at our patients.”

Laios fought a grim laugh and failed. “Hey, you asked.”

“What’s it matter to you anyway?” Chilchuck asked, slurred around the filter. He took another long drag and tapped out the ash into the frozen grass.

“As a medical professional, I prefer not to watch people die.”

Chilchuck released the smoke through his nose, rolling his eyes. “Preference doesn’t matter much to us, does it?”

“I guess not.”

Another long drag. He’d somehow blasted half the cigarette already. “You sound like my youngest,” Chilchuck breathed, with a fondly exasperated smile. Laios shifted around, his cheeks going pink in the cold. “She’s in the middle of some kind of health course and it’s got her all freaked out. ‘Daddy, don’t smoke those, they’ve got rat poison in ‘em!’” Chilchuck said, affecting a raspy falsetto. “It was kinda cute, but she was pretty upset,” he sighed. “She was crying. Must be a pretty heavy-handed program.”

“I had that growing up, while I was still in private school,” Laios said. "They had a cop come in and everything. Showed us pictures of tracheotomies.”

“Is that what they’re doing?” Chilchuck hissed. “She’s eight! She’s too young for that shit. I’m gonna complain to the PTA.”

“Hey, it kept me off. Do you want her on it?”

Chilchuck’s mouth drew into a long, thin line. “I guess not.”

They stood there, Chilchuck smoking, Laios doing fuck all with his hands in his pockets. Chilchuck wondered why he was out here at all if he hated cigarettes and smoking so much. It was biting cold, blustery, damp. It was a holiday weekend and there was only a matter of time before they got another Narcan call, he could be catching a nap before rush hour, but he was here.

“Does it help?” Laios asked. “With the stress, I mean.”

“Gives me an excuse to step out,” Chilchuck shrugged. “Gives me something to look forward to. Gives me a reason to breathe in and out for a few minutes that isn’t that dippy yoga shit.”

“Have you ever done it? That dippy yoga shit?”

“Hell no.”

“You want to try it? I can show you a few poses.”

Chilchuck choked on smoke, something he hadn’t done in twenty years. “You? Yoga?” The ass definition suddenly made a lot of sense.

“I don’t take classes, but you can learn a lot from YouTube videos.”

“Hm.” It had been the class aspect that turned him off the most. It felt somehow more embarrassing than just rocking up to the gym at three in the morning and dissociating on the treadmill for a few hours. “I’ll think about it.”

“I think it’d be fun,” Laios said, and Chilchuck almost believed him. “And it’s helped me, you know. After rough calls.”

Chilchuck sucked down the last of his cigarette and blew it upwards, a brief break in the wind allowing it to coil in upon itself in midair, minute particles glittering in the warm, flickering glow of the light post and simmering down in his lungs. He leaned down to smash the smoldering filter into the curb, putting the butt in his junk pocket to avoid being further nagged.

“Alright,” Chilchuck relented. “Why the hell not?”

Laios beamed at him. Chilchuck could think of a thousand reasons against meeting up with his boss to do anything that didn’t involve getting a beer, but looking at that self-satisfied grin gave him one very good reason in his favor. “It’s a date.”

“No it’s not!” Chilchuck squawked. Laios skipped away. Skipped. “It’s not a date, Laios!”

“See you then!”

“Nice HR violation!” Chilchuck screamed. “Mother fucker.” He muttered to himself, tapped his pack angrily against his palm and flipped up the lid for one more, just to spite him. Chilchuck looked down at the neat rows of little paper cylinders, pristine and fresh.

Chilchuck crammed the box back into his pocket and trudged inside. 

—One year later…—

Chilchuck awoke one Saturday morning with his phone ringing—not uncommon, but very unwelcome given that he wasn’t supposed to be on call on weekends. “What?” Chilchuck grumbled into the phone, flinging off his comforter on impulse in case he needed to have his shoes on five minutes ago.

“Chilchuck?” came Jaylark’s soft, low voice. “Where are you?”

Chilchuck sat up ramrod straight in bed. “Is it—oh for God’s—it’s my weekend, isn’t it.”

“Yeah… we rearranged the schedule, remember? Because—”

“Because my shifts changed, and I needed more—yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry, Jaylark. Crazy week.” Chilchuck palmed the sleep out of his eyes and stepped into his shoes. “I’ll be there in… an hour? Hour-fifteen?”

Jaylark sighed. “Are you good to take them, even?”

Chilchuck’s hackles rose, but he took a breath and let it go. “Yeah, the house is fine, I got groceries, the rooms are clean, I got ‘em gifts. I did remember I had ‘em for the holiday, I just—crashed after work. I’m groggy.” Jaylark gasped. “I crashed into sleep! I slept hard last night. Jaylark, I was tired. I got it. I promise.”

Jaylark hummed. “Alright. Don’t rush, okay?”

Chilchuck rushed. He made it in under an hour, he thought, but his car clock always ran an hour fast or slow because he never remembered how to reset it and some dipshit moron had stalled out in the middle of two lanes on the highway. Flertom waved from the porch where she’d been waiting, hopefully not for long, immaculately bundled up. Chilchuck relaxed a bit at the sight of her usual smile. She opened the door, peeked her head in, and called for her sisters. Puckpatti was quick to answer, squeezing past Flertom before she could get out of the way, and skipped down the stairs, overstuffed backpack swinging. “Daddy!” she called, audible even without the windows cracked. Chilchuck unlocked the doors and leaned over the console to open the front passenger side, which Puckpatti dove into. She hugged him at an awkward angle that pulled his bad shoulder. Chilchuck didn’t complain.

“I guess you got shotgun,” he said. “Novelty hasn’t worn off yet, has it?”

“Nope! I feel important up here. Like I got big stuff going on.”

It was a little early for her to be taking the front passenger side, but he would be driving a lot less like an asshole with his girls in the car. He cowed to her demands on her eighth birthday and now she was never going back to the rear seats. It worked out; the twins usually liked to sit together. You wouldn’t know by how long it took Meijack to follow Flertom down to the curb. Jaylark lingered in the doorway to watch them as they piled into Chilchuck’s beat-up sedan.

“Sorry I’m late, girls,” Chilchuck said, not for the first time. “I’m still getting used to the new schedule.”

“That’s okay, Dad,” Flertom said. She looked like her mother when she smiled. “You were working late again, huh?”

“That’s right,” Chilchuck breathed. “I got everything ready to go. I just slept real hard and woke up on another planet. You know how that is, right, Mei?”

Puck and Fler giggled, but Meijack huffed and hugged her backpack to her chest, pointedly staring out of the window. “Yep.”

“… Yeah, so. Let’s get going, eh? Buckle up.”

Puckpatti and Flertom bickered over what radio station to play on the ride out to the country, but they ended up talking over the music the whole time anyway. Meijack was quiet, spending the time reading until she started to get a little carsick, then watched the power lines undulate in serpentine loops as they drove until it passed, like she had since she was little.

“What’re you reading, Mei?” Chilchuck asked. Meijack turned the page as loudly as possible.

“A book.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s a love story,” Flertom teased. Meijack glared at her. “Don’t be embarrassed! That book’s really popular.”

“It’s not anything racy, is it?” Chilchuck looked in the rear-view mirror, finding Mei back to staring out the window with her chin in her hand.

“She got it from the school library, so probably not.”

“What’s ‘racy’ mean, Daddy?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

The rest of the ride was quiet, and that was always a bad sign. Puckpatti was swinging her legs happily as she listened to the radio (she won the squabble) and Flertom was calling out horses and cows as she saw them, but Meijack seemed far away, frowning into her palm. Chilchuck chewed the inside of his cheek. Jaylark had mentioned that she’d seemed a little down but chalked it up to standard teenage angst.

Flertom sat up in her seat as they neared an evenly spaced line of trees that came right up to the road and stretched out for a few miles west in an unsettlingly straight line, a familiar waypoint on the drive to her father’s house. The trees absorbed some of the industrial noise from tractors and combine harvesters for the small collection of cheap family homes that had been built on rezoned farmland, the soil depleted by bad practice. It wasn’t great living, far from grocery stores and libraries and his job and his boyfriend and fun things for kids to do, but Chilchuck did his best to keep them entertained. At the very least, he could afford for the kids to have their own rooms, even if Puckpatti’s was a repurposed pantry. Puckpatti liked her space a little claustrophobic—she called it ‘supercozy’.

Chilchuck drove onto the cracked pavement into the main residential road. Flertom peered out of the window, squinting a little—Chilchuck saw it in his side view mirror and wondered if she needed glasses after all. “Dad? Who’s that out in front of the house?”

“Oh, Lord.” Chilchuck gripped the steering wheel and thunked his skull into the headrest. “That’s my coworker.”

Laios was thumbing through his phone on the porch, a duffel bag slug over one shoulder, when he noticed Chilchuck’s sedan rambling up the road. He beamed a smile and waved with his phone in hand, mid-text.

“Your coworker? You never hang out with your coworkers,” Flertom said in a rush. Dread crept up in Chilchuck’s throat—he’d meant to put this off a little while longer, maybe until the next holiday, but Flertom had scented the blood in the water. “Oh, he’s cute!”

“Flertom!” Chilchuck hissed, heat rising in his face. “He’s nearly twice your age.”

“So? He’s still cute. I think I’m old enough to tell that much.”

Chilchuck felt dizzy, his blood pressure spiking. “Seems like your old man double-booked this weekend,” he grumbled, pulling into the driveway. Laios hopped down the steps, pocketed his phone, and froze dead in his tracks when he realized Chilchuck had company in the car. “It won’t take long. Just a yoga class. Shouldn’t take more than an hour. I’d tell him to buzz off, but he came a long way…”

“He’s a yoga instructor,” Flertom breathed.

“I’m gonna leave you in the car if you don’t get a grip, Fler.”

Fler and Mei exchanged a look as Chilchuck popped the driver’s side door open and kicked his way out. “Hey Lai—os. Sorry, I forgot to tell you… got my kids for the holiday.” He motioned for the kids to stay in the car and shut the door.

“Oh!” Laios’ eyebrows shot up. “I wouldn’t have stopped by if I—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Chilchuck said, and waved it off. Flertom’s face was pressed into the window. “I, uh.” He dropped his voice into the register that children supposedly can’t hear but do anyway. “I talked to Jaylark about—us.”

“Oh!?” Laios did not match his discretionary volume.

“Don’t get all worked up! I didn’t give her details, just—told her I was seeing someone. Haven’t told the kids yet.”

Laios’ eyes flicked between his car, Chilchuck’s car, and Chilchuck’s kids, now all crowding into the rear passenger window.

“Gotcha,” Laios said carefully. “I can, uh, clear out, if you—”

“Nah.” Chilchuck crossed his arms. “They’re gonna—you came a long way. We can at least run a few stretches before I kick you out, since you brought your gear and everything…”

Laios smiled softly. “Okay. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Chilchuck rolled his eyes. He turned to the car and called his girls over with a sweep of his arm. “Alright, come on, let’s get this over with.”

Meijack opened the door and watched Fler and Puck tumble out into the snow. Chilchuck opened his mouth to scold Mei but the other two laughed it off, so he bit his tongue.

“Hi!” Flertom said, bouncing up onto her heels and brushing the frost off her face and skirt. “I’m Flertom! What’s your name?”

“Laios,” he said, giving her a nod. “Nice to meet you. You’re as peppy as your dad says you are.”

Flertom giggled. Chilchuck rubbed the back of his neck and swallowed the anxious bile. Meijack cleared her throat so she could be allowed out. She flipped a thin braid over her shoulder as she sunk into the snow in her long, strapped boots. Goth girl, the little Marcille that lives in Laios’ head decreed. Despite himself, Laios grinned and his shoulders shook. Chilchuck elbowed him.

“What’s so funny, jerkoff?” Chilchuck huffed.

“They look so much like you. It’s cute.”

Chilchuck blushed. He debated sending Laios home anyway.

“You must be Meijack,” Laios said, trying to keep his voice steady as Meijack stared back at him, face utterly blank. Laios struggled to read people on a good day, and meeting his partner’s teenage kids by surprise wasn’t the best omen for how this one would go.

“Yeah. That’s me.”

“Chil told me you were interested in medicine. Do you have an idea of what field you’re wanting to go into?”

Flertom’s eyes blew wide at the nickname; she gawped at her father. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Meijack blinked, oblivious.

“Not sure,” she said airily. “I’m thinking emergency response.”

That was enough for Chilchuck to snap out of his mortified resignation. “Really?” he squawked. A little flustered by the attention, Meijack nodded and played with the frayed ends of her braid.

“I’m still thinking about it,” she settled. “I was also considering neonatal care.”

“Oh, that’s such an interesting field!” Laios gushed. “I know it’s hard to choose, but it’ll get easier the further you get in your schooling. You can always work your way up, too, if you’re not ready to commit…”

Chilchuck felt the urge to reach for a cigarette. Maybe just go straight to college, kid, he thought. He didn’t want to think about Meijack working in the city. She was a tough girl, but being tough doesn’t always help.

“There’s a lot of overlap, too, if you’re looking to get into labor and delivery—”

“Let’s take this inside, eh?” Chilchuck laughed, elbowing Laios with a friendlier edge this time. “I’m freezing.”

Chilchuck let everyone into the house, Laios finding it cleaner than it was last week. Chilchuck did like to make an effort, even if children didn’t tend to consider those sorts of things. He’d laundered the blankets and thrown them over every soft surface, changed out the broken bulbs, swept up and mopped the floors (badly, but it was done). Laios had nagged him to do these things for a while, but it only ever happened when the kids were due back.

As everyone shucked off their snow boots and coats, Puckpatti stuck close to Flertom, hiding in her skirt. Flertom was a little smaller than Mei and slighter, but Puckpatti crouched down behind her to make herself scarce anyway. When Laios pulled off his hoodie there was only a tank top underneath, anticipating a workout, and Chilchuck was dressed like a slob because he hadn’t anticipated anything today. Sweating through his patchy sweatpants and baggy Aerosmith t-shirt wouldn’t be a problem.

“Go ahead and get settled, girls,” Chilchuck said. “When Laios and I are done, we’ll go get pizza. Sound good?”

Puckpatti cheered, though she went back to hiding when Laios took notice. Meijack seemed to have perked up, at the very least, but she didn’t hesitate to slip away to her room given an opportunity, eager to drop her overstuffed messenger bag. Flertom took Puckpatti’s hand, offering Laios an apologetic smile. “Sorry, she’s a little shy.” Puckpatti hid her face in Flertom’s blouse as they scooted around Laios. 

“Should I set up like usual?” Laios asked, briefly unclenching.

“Yeah, we can use the living room. They’re gonna want to unpack and get comfortable.”

Chilchuck kicked his mat out from under the perpetually swung-out leg rest on the sofa. He undid the straps and laid it out flat, helping Laios scoot the coffee table to the side.

“They seem like good kids,” Laios said. Chilchuck’s chest puffed out a little bit, but he tried to play it cool.

“They’re a handful sometimes, but they’re all good kids.” Chilchuck smirked, dropping his voice to a whisper again: “Don’t worry about Meijack. She’s just got her dad’s resting bitch face.”

Laios laughed guiltily. “I did get a little déjà vu there, yeah. She looks so much like you. I can’t get over it.”

“C’mon, don’t insult her like that,” Chilchuck joked. Laios pouted at him. “She’s prettier than me, give her some credit.”

“Chil…”

Chilchuck laughed, settling into a cross-legged position on his mat. “Oh, relax, I’m kidding.”

They’d done this routine enough that Laios didn’t need to guide Chilchuck through most of the motions for the easy stretches, but once they got to the more complicated extensions Laios needed to step in. The lumbar tension Chilchuck suffered from his harder lifts had lessened somewhat since he started, but his hamstrings hadn’t caught up yet. As Chilchuck struggled to fold himself over one of his legs, Laios hand came to rest at his middle back, trying to ease the tension out of the muscle and deepen the lunge. Chilchuck’s spine audibly popped, earning a rumbling laugh in response. When Chilchuck came up, his face was a little flushed.

“Don’t get too handsy,” Chilchuck muttered. “The kids are here, y’know.”

“I’m just helping you with a stretch,” Laios shrugged. “Nothing weird about it. You’re the one making it weird.”

Yoga was supposed to be relaxing, but Laios liked to mix things up, keep it interesting. They moved into leg extensions, for which Laios was thankfully quiet for, knowing how much Chilchuck hated downward dog and all its variations. He caught Chil rushing through a few of the poses—and gesticulating wildly towards the hallway door. When Laios straightened his back and turned over his shoulder, Flertom’s head had peeked around the doorway.

“Fler, go—go help Puck unpack, or something!”

“I just can’t believe what I’m seeing… Dad’s doing yoga.”

“Hey, what, I’m too uncool for yoga?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do a stretch in my life,” Flertom giggled.

“I do all my working out at work,” Chilchuck huffed. Laios had mercy and moved them on to the standing lunges. Flertom came out into the living room, finding enough floor space to try some of the lunges herself. “And at the gym, thank you! I just like to separate my active life from my sitting-at-home-on-the-couch life.”

“You’re really good at the couch life, Dad.”

“Thank you.”

Flertom did well keeping up with the poses, even managing to stay in the tree and triangle holds longer than her father.

“How are you so good at this?” Chilchuck wheezed. The pits of his Aerosmith shirt were damp; he mopped his face with the towel Laios threw at him.

“Coach taught us a few poses when we were getting ready for State,” Flertom said. “A bunch of the girls on the team were getting wigged out about the competition, so we did that for a while. It kinda helped!”

“Huh… never knew.”

“Guess I forgot to tell you,” Flertom shrugged. Chilchuck gnawed on his tongue as he tried to decide how to feel about that. Laios bumped their shoulders together, keeping him focused.

“Did you ever learn how to do the eagle pose?” Laios asked. Flertom’s face brightened.

“Ooh! I love that one!” Flertom made it look so easy, but she was in gymnastics. Chilchuck still needed to hang onto Laios to even dream of touching his foot to complete the pose, and when he did, his hamstrings bitterly complained. Laios caught him before he pitched over in the crook of his arm, Chilchuck folded over it like a wet blanket.

“I think we’re good for now,” Laios nodded. Chilchuck gave a wobbly thumbs up, lactic acid sizzling in his joints. “Don’t wanna hog too much of your dad’s time, anyway.”

“Aww, you’re leaving already?” Flertom pouted. Chilchuck’s fatherly instincts curdled at that voice. “You just got here…”

Laios helped Chilchuck sit criss-cross-applesauce on the floor, and he had to support his back with his palms to keep from wilting. Chilchuck made the fool’s choice of meeting Flertom’s sad eyes. He broke immediately and threw up his hands.

“Fine! We’re all getting pizza,” he groused. Laios and Flertom cheered. “I’m going to shower before we go, though.”

“Thank God,” Flertom whispered. Chilchuck shot her the Dad Pointer on the way to the bathroom, eyebrows raised in that watch it sort of expression, but she just snickered and skipped over to Laios. “Have you ever played Mario Kart?” she asked him.

“Oh, we got Mario Kart?” Laios grinned. “Chilchuck’s been holding out on me.”

“It’s Meijack’s Switch, but she lets us all have accounts. I’m gonna go bug her.”

Laios raised his hands defensively. “Oh, no, that’s not necessary—”

Flertom fled back into the hall to fetch her intimidating sister, knocking on her door. There was a little bit of a back and forth muffled through the door that sounded like it had the emotional weight of a hostage negotiation. The shower was already running, so Chilchuck couldn’t bail him out if something went south. Laios gathered his yoga props, packed them, and twiddled his thumbs.

Man, he thought, wrong day to prep for anal. Laios let out a dejected sigh.

Through the doorway to the small kitchen, Laios heard some drawers creak open. Without thinking he got up to investigate, if only to have something to do. There he found Puckpatti rummaging through the upper counter drawers. She was nine, she wasn’t helpless, but if she got hurt while Laios was technically watching them… well, that wasn’t going to win him any points.

“Hey, Puckpatti?” She squeaked and slammed the drawer shut. She put her back to the counter paneling and clutched her red dragon plushie to her chest. “Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you…”

Puckpatti stood frozen, unable to meet Laios’ eyes. She looked guilty, her dragon pulled in close to hide half her face.

 “I really like your little friend,” said Laios.

Puckpatti’s head lifted. “Oh… you like Bernie?”

“His name is Bernie?” Laios tittered. “That’s fun.”

Puckpatti smiled.

“You like dragons?” Laios asked, getting a nod in return. “I do too. They’re cool.”

“Really!?” Puckpatti hopped forward and rocked back on her heels. “But you’re a grown-up…”

“So?” Laios sniffed. “Grown-ups can like dragons too. I got a bunch of action figures at home.”

“Can I see ‘em?”

Laios laughed. “I don’t think I have any good pictures on my phone, but I can check… what were you looking for, though? Do you need help finding it?”

The guilty, sick look returned, but she squeezed Bernie’s raggedy paws for support. “Um… do you know where Daddy keeps his cigarettes?”

Laios sighed. “Aw, Puckpatti. Were you going to—”

“I was just gonna hide ‘em!” she protested. “They’re gonna make him sick, but he won’t…”

Her eyes got wet. Laios tried to think about how he’d managed to get himself into this mess, and just how long Chilchuck was planning to take that shower for.

“It’s okay,” Laios gently assured her. He dropped onto his knees to get closer to her level. “You’re not gonna get in trouble.” Puckpatti seemed a little suspicious, but her stranglehold on Bernie loosened. “I know how you feel. I worry about him too.”

Puckpatti’s shoulders slumped, and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“But you got a lot to worry about already! With school, and your friends, and keeping Bernie out of trouble. Right? So let me figure it out for a bit.”

Puckpatti’s head tilted, a little lost.

“You know that thing we were doing in the living room? It’s something to do so he’s not thinking about smoking so much. Keeping his mind off it, you know?” Puckpatti nodded, following along. “Doing fun stuff with your dad is a good way to take care of him already. Hiding stuff, throwing the boxes out, making him feel bad… it’s just gonna make him dig his heels in. Your dad can be a little stubborn.”

Puck made a defeated sound.

“But… he also really cares about you and your sisters,” Laios said. “He talks about you all the time. I’ll get through to him, okay? Don’t worry so much.”

Puckpatti wiped the last of her tears on Bernie’s minky scales and sniffed. “Okay.”

“Your sisters were gonna play Mario Kart with me. Do you want to join in?”

Before Puckpatti could answer, Laios felt two sets of eyes on his back and whipped around in a cold sweat, finding the twins shoulder-to-shoulder in the doorway. Thankfully they were fraternal and made vastly different fashion choices, so it wasn’t too much like a horror movie. In fact, side by side, they didn’t look much like twins at all, save for the very Chilchuckian face. If Laios hadn’t been told the whole harrowing story of how they were born, Laios would have assumed they had a few years between them; Flertom was so much smaller, softer in the face, always little bit behind in growth besides meeting the world a few minutes earlier than Mei.

“We came to an accord,” Meijack intoned. “We’re playing Smash Bros instead.”

Flertom shrugged and sighed. “It’s her Switch, her rules…”

Laios swallowed. “O-okay. Yeah. Sounds fine. Who—who do you main, Meijack?”

“You first,” she said. Laios got the distinct feeling he was being hustled.

“Bowser,” Laios choked. Meijack’s lip curled up just a bit at one end.

“That’s interesting.”

“What—what does that mean?”

“It means she’s gonna wipe the floor with you,” Flertom sighed. “It’s not fun if you go full tournament mode every time, Mei!”

“That sounds like something a loser would say.” Meijack smirked at Flertom as her cheeks went red. She stomped the floor in her sock feet; it barely made a sound.

“Ough! That’s it, I’m teaming up with Laios! Two on two. You got Puck.”

“Your loss,” Meijack shrugged. Puckpatti rallied and went to Meijack’s side; Meijack held out her hand, palm up, which Puckpatti smacked with every ounce of force her little body could muster. “You’re playing Yoshi, naturally.”

“Of course,” Puckpatti huffed.

“I should probably play Samus, then.”

“Hey!” Flertom whined. “Don’t counterpick the guest, that’s rude!”

“So rude,” Laios commiserated. It mattered little. Meijack did, in fact, wipe the floor with the two of them. Puckpatti held her own, even when Laios made the dishonorable choice to prioritize knocking her out, something that Meijack seemed to relish punishing Laios for. It was what he deserved.

They played a handful of rounds; Meijack seemed to have been satisfied with trouncing Laios the first time, and played around with characters she didn’t usually pick. Flertom was a sore loser after a few straight losses, but once the competitive fever died down, Meijack taught her a few Isabelle combos that she picked up quickly, managing to get one over on her sister for the first time in a while. Puckpatti played Yoshi every single game, maybe rotating the colors every so often. Laios was focused enough on the game that he didn’t even notice the water cutting off, nor the bathroom door opening. They played through another game, and once they’d reached a hard-fought win screen, Laios and Flertom’s desperate cheering was interrupted by Chilchuck clearing his throat. Laios turned to find him leaned up against the doorway, arms crossed. He wasn’t sure how long Chil had been standing there.

“You guys ready to go?” he asked, eyes only on Laios. Laios smiled sheepishly and nodded.

“Ready when you are.”

Chilchuck drove all five of them in his car, Puckpatti having graciously given up her shotgun privileges to squeeze in between Mei and Fler, with Bernie sat in her lap. The kids chattered loudly amongst themselves (well, Fler and Puck did—Meijack had returned to her book). Chilchuck was focused on driving, and his hand kept twitching to lay on Laios’ thigh like he’d become accustomed to, but he kept catching himself and aborting it. Laios understood, but he missed the weight of a hand on his leg.

“Hey, weird question,” Laios asked, the girls distracted from eavesdropping. “Where’d you get Puckpatti that dragon?”

“Why?” Chilchuck snorted. “You want one?”

Laios flushed. “Maybe I’m trying to get something for Falin, jerk.”

Chilchuck smacked his shoulder playfully, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Well, keep looking. I made him.”

Laios whipped around in the passenger seat like he was going to lunge over the console.

“Shut up. You can sew? You can sew plushies?”

“Every once in a while when I have time. Can’t do anything super complicated, but I can make mittens and scarves and stuff. Comes in handy when you have rugrats that keep losing their mittens.”

“Oh, yeah, Puck left hers at school again,” Flertom said.

“I want pink this time,” Puck demanded.

“Hey, I’m not a mitten vending machine, alright?” Chilchuck protested. Laios noticed he affected a certain tone when he meant business—a Dad Voice, stern and a little deeper than usual. He wanted to stop thinking about that during the wholesome family car ride, but he’d heard that voice before in a… different context. “I’ll let you borrow mine tonight, but you gotta pick them up when school starts again.”

Puckpatti huffed. “Fine.”  

It was a thirty-minute drive to the nearest shopping center, and there they found the fabled Shakey’s. With the holidays in full swing, the place was packed with families too tired of making extravagant dinners and retail employees looking for a watered-down beer to cry into. Flertom was very happy to see that their favorite booth was miraculously open; she was convinced it was fate. Fler batted her eyes at her dad, who ruffled her curly black mop of hair until she swatted him off.

Chilchuck went to sit next to Puckpatti, the first to launch herself onto the tall-backed plastic seating, but Flertom pushed him over to the seat Laios was looking to occupy. All three girls huddled together, Puckpatti furthest in, Flertom in the middle, Meijack on the aisle seat. Bernie sat with the napkins and red pepper flakes.

“Sooo,” Flertom said, leaning as far across the table as she could, resting her chin in both hands. “How’d you guys meet?”

Chilchuck groaned; Laios snickered and bumped their knees together under the table.

“At work, Fler,” Chilchuck answered. “I told you.”

“Okay, but what do you do together?”

“Honestly? Not a whole lot,” Laios laughed. “We mostly just talk on our off time when neither of us are on a call.”

“So you’re not going out saving lives together?” Flertom pouted.

“Well, technically we are, just not in the same ambulance most of the time,” Chilchuck said. “It’s not that romantic, Fler.” Excellent word choice he didn’t regret at all. Meijack had put down her novel briefly to tune back into the conversation. “If we are in the same unit, we aren’t doing a whole lot of chit-chatting, anyway. It’s not like it is on TV. We have to prioritize the patient and be efficient.”

“Not a super chill environment for hanging out,” Laios said grimly. “But it is at the station, sometimes. That’s where he tells me stories about you guys.”

“Oh?” Puck giggled. “Like what?”

“Like that you’re a bit of a prankster,” Laios grinned. “He told me about the time you woke him up on a Saturday wearing your uniform and your backpack.”

Puckpatti cackled. Meijack snickered before going back to her book. Chilchuck rubbed the pressure point between his eyes, but he was chuckling too. “You were moving so fast, Daddy!”

“I didn’t realize until we were in the car,” Chilchuck groaned. “Mean joke, Puck. At least you told me before we started driving.” Puckpatti pouted.

“It was April Fool’s, Dad, you really should’ve seen it coming,” Flertom said. “I have my phone remind me the night before… doesn’t always help, though.”

“What’s your favorite prank you’ve pulled?” Laios asked. Puckpatti’s eyes glittered, but she caught herself, looking to Chilchuck.

“Um…” she beckoned her father over the table. Chilchuck leaned over as Puckpatti rose onto her knees. She cupped her hand around her mouth. “Can I tell him about the newts, Daddy?”

“Yeah, you can tell him about the newts,” Chilchuck relented. “It’s your mother I worry about. Go ahead.”

Mei smirked as she flipped a page. Puckpatti flopped back onto the seat and beamed.

“Okay, so, there’s this pond outside of the playground at school, and in the springtime there’s always tons of frogs and bugs and stuff there! So I like to hang out there with my friends and catch newts.”

“My sister and I used to do that,” Laios said. Puckpatti clapped her hands delightedly.

“They’re sooo cute! But there’s this boy at school who kept calling me ‘newt girl’. He would follow me out to the pond and laugh at me until I got out, and keep going and going like it was sooo funny…”

“It’s not even clever,” Flertom rolled her eyes.

“He thinks he’s so smart! ‘Newt girl’. Boring!” Puck blew a raspberry. “Anyway, he kept calling me newt girl, and I kept trying to get him to knock it off, but he wouldn’t! So while he was making fun of me down at the pond, I started keeping all the newts in a bucket and hid it behind the groundskeeper’s shed…”

Chilchuck had his face in his hands. His shoulders were shaking.

“And then one day before class I got there extra early and rounded up my newts, and—well, we have these desks that swing up so you can keep stuff under them, so—”

“How in the heck did you get a bucket of newts into class unnoticed?” Laios snorted.

“Show-and-tell,” Puckpatti shrugged. “I bring in newts every week. I just usually don’t pour them into a stupid boy’s desk before I go up.” Laios burst into laughter. “We all call him ‘newt boy’ now.”  Chilchuck couldn’t pretend to hold the high ground anymore, laugh-coughing into his arm. A harried waitress approached the table to finally take their order; Chil and Laios had to let everyone else go first before he calmed down. It took a while for everyone to agree on toppings, only to settle on pepperoni and cheese. Chilchuck looked like he’d aged two years by the end of the order, but he was in good spirits.

“Hey, Meijack.” Meijack’s eye flicked up from her book to Laios, one brow raised imperceptibly. “What’s that book you’re reading? Must be pretty good.”

Meijack’s expression flattened. Laios felt his hair prickle, realizing he’d gotten too familiar, that he should be taking this more casually than sitting each of them down and interrogating them. Meijack, though, slipped her bookmark in place and held up the glossy paperback cover so he could read the title.

“Oh! Nightfall! My sister’s girlfriend loves that one. She’s been trying to get Falin to read it for months.”

Meijack’s eyes widened ever-so-slightly.

“They’re still doing alright?” Chilchuck asked, leaning up against the corner of the seat and the wall.

“Oh yeah. They’ve been attached at the hip since med school, I think they’re set in stone. Not that I ask that much.”

“That’s nice,” Chilchuck grinned. “I gotta say, I didn’t think Falin loved people other than you while they were upright and conscious. Especially a girl like Marcille.” He turned to his kids to explain. “Walking soap opera of a woman. I accidentally got a drop of mayonnaise on her salad at Subway and she thought she was going to suffer congestive heart failure.”

“Marcille’s a little high maintenance,” Laios admitted. “But Falin always liked a challenge. Trying to talk her down from a mood feels like open heart surgery to me.”

Meijack stared at Chilchuck; he looked back. He raised an eyebrow. Meijack turned to Laios.

“So… you hang out with your sister’s girlfriend?” Meijack asked. Chilchuck raised the other eyebrow.

“Of course,” Laios said, a little confused. “Why not? I think she’s funny. Falin likes her. She’s really big into Tolkien.” Meijack relaxed a little against the back of her seat. “I don’t mind third wheeling sometimes.” Laios nudged Chilchuck’s shoulder, getting him a reflexive, limp swat at his wrist. “Chil comes with, when he can.”

Mei and Fler nodded at each other, communicating on a wavelength beyond anyone else’s reach. Chilchuck knew that he couldn’t rely on Laios to be subtle, but he still felt exhausted by the questions he could feel Flertom spinning up, the jokes they would make, the disappointment they might feel if they got attached and their old man fucked it up anyways.

“That’s nice,” Mei said, and went back to her book. Fler was radiantly smug, swinging her legs under the table. The pizza arrived, and Chilchuck relished the awkward silence as everyone dug in. Chilchuck missed the good, family-owned shop back in the city, open late with take-away beer, but the kids were still young enough to like bad pizza, and Laios was never picky. He reached for a second slice before anyone else.

“C’mon, let the kids have a chance, big guy,” Chilchuck chided. Laios flushed.

“Sorry, I love this place,” Laios swooned. “This was the first restaurant I ate at after I left home.” Flertom batted her eyelashes at Chilchuck, suggesting another trick of fate. Chilchuck flicked a loose slice of pepperoni at her across the table. “Not this location, obviously, but I’d never had pizza before. My way of sticking it to the man, I guess.”

“Never?” Flertom gasped. “How did you live?”

“Mostly on stuff from the surrounding farms, a lot of home cooked meals… no pizza, though. I do miss fresh-baked bread, but I don’t miss spending hours prepping it at the crack of dawn.”

“You lived on a farm?” Puckpatti’s eyes shone. “Oh, but that sounds so fun! Did you have lots of animals?”

“My dad preferred the term ‘homestead’, but yeah, it was a farm.” Laios rubbed the back of his neck. “I did like the animals. We had about eight hunting dogs at any time, some cows, chickens, a big work horse with the feathery hooves—”

“Clydesdale!” Puckpatti called out. Laios snapped his fingers and pointed at her.

“Yeah, that’s the one. But I spent so much time working I couldn’t even enjoy their company all that much. No hot water either. We had to pull everything out of the well in buckets.”

Flertom put her hands on her cheeks, horrified. “That’s awful…”

Laios laughed it off. “It’s just rough living. Some people like it. I do like a hot shower, though.” There were lots of things he didn’t miss, but the kids didn’t have to know about those.

“Laios’ folks are… strict,” Chilchuck explained. “You remember when we saw that guy driving an old-timey horse-drawn wagon looking thing on the road? It’s kind of like that. Some folks like to live simply, like people did in the old days, before electricity and plumbing.”

“My parents weren’t straight up Amish or Mennonite anything,” said Laios, “but they didn’t like how a lot of people were living, so they wanted to be far away from it. They took us out of school, homeschooled us in a group for a while, and then just by ourselves out in the country.” He shrugged. “I dunno. I like it out here. I don’t see what they were so afraid of.”

“I think I know.” Meijack sopped up the spilled marinara on her plate with a potato wedge. Flertom’s lips drew into a thin line, face grim. Puckpatti tilted her head in confusion. “Good on you for getting out.”

Laios blinked stupidly. “Uh, thank you. I’m glad I did.”

“Me too,” Chilchuck said, gnawing on the overbaked crust of his slice. Laios took little rabbit bites to pace himself as the kids caught up. Flertom’s voracious appetite put her ahead of the pack, and once she reached for her third slice, Meijack smirked.

“You’re really going to town today, huh?”

Flertom glowered. “Excuse you. That’s fat shaming.”

“Who says I’m shaming? I’m impressed.”

Flertom didn’t seem convinced, her dark, thick eyebrows pulled into a ‘v’, her face scrunched.

“It’s because I’m in gymnastics! I burn more energy, so I eat more pizza. I thought you were good at math.”

Meijack snickered. Laios couldn’t figure out if this was good-natured ribbing or not, but Chilchuck didn’t seem too bothered. It was a very Chilchuck way to talk to your loved ones.

“I am. That’s nutrition, though. I’m no good at that.”

“Yeah, Miss Hot-Cheetos-For-Lunch.”

Chilchuck grumbled. “Mei… you’re at least getting a sandwich in, right? You can’t operate on corn chips all day.”

Mei shrugged. “When I don’t oversleep. Don’t have a lot of time to slap something together in the morning.”

Chilchuck reared up for another lecture. “Then do it the night before, honey, c’mon.”  Meijack twirled a braid in her finger, not acknowledging it.

“She doesn’t do it all the time,” Fler shrugged. Laios unclenched a little, the twins seemingly back on the same side. “Sometimes a friend of hers shares with her.”

Meijack narrowed her eyes. Flertom elbowed her sister in the ribs and waggled her eyebrows.

“Go on,” Fler whispered, not quietly at all. “That’s your cue. Just rip the Band-Aid off. Go.”

Chilchuck leaned forward and crossed his arms. “What’s up?” Meijack fiddled with her hair tie, worrying the inside of her cheek. She didn’t budge. Flertom deflated, then pouted.

“Fine,” Flertom sighed. “But if your friend forgets your lunch, don’t come crying to me. You ate enough of me in the womb already.”

Laios winced; even he felt that joke land with a thud.

“Flertom,” Chilchuck said, low and serious. “That’s too—”

Meijack stood up from the booth. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she declared. She brushed past a server on her way and hardly flinched, nearly upending the drinks on their arm. Chilchuck sighed and leaned back into his seat, pushing his palms into his eyes. He stayed like that for a moment before clapping and rubbing his hands together, leaning on his elbows.

“Flertom, you can’t be making that joke anymore, sweetheart,” Chilchuck said, leveling with her. She shrunk into her seat, her face still pinched. “We talked about this.”

“She used to think it was funny!” Fler grouched. Laios wondered if he should excuse himself, too. Puckpatti had pulled Bernie back into her arms, hugged protectively. “Now she gets all mopey about it… I was just kidding!”

“Mei’s… going through a rough time right now, I think,” Chilchuck offered. “Maybe it’s hitting a nerve. Has anything been happening to her at school, or…?”

Flertom thought about it for a minute, coming slightly unwound. She shook her head. “No.” The noise Chilchuck made indicated doubt.

“You can tell me, Fler. She’ll be mad, but she’ll get over it once we help her out.”

Flertom softened. “Well… I think the guys from her shop class are messing with her again, but that’s nothing new…” Chilchuck popped his knuckles reflexively but breathed the tension out. He’d learned a few things in yoga that got a lot of use. “Mei’s pretty good at shutting them down, but… I think they’re being extra annoying because she’s got a…mm.”

Laios kicked Chilchuck’s ankle under the table; Chil didn’t need it to catch on.

“Oh.” Chilchuck scratched his chin. “She’s got a girlfriend, huh?”

Flertom’s eyes blew wide, voice shrill with panic. “Please don’t be mad! She’s really nice! I’ve met her, she’s—”

Chilchuck waved her down. “I do think you two are a bit young for this stuff, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody’s getting in trouble.” Flertom sighed in relief. “Honestly, I’m glad she’s finding people she gets along with. I just… worry.”

Laios held Chilchuck’s hand under the table. It was not subtle, but Chilchuck squeezed anyway.

“My friends are cool about it, but now that me and Meijack are on different schedules, I don’t know how bad she’s getting it when I’m not around,” Fler admitted. “She’s so tough, though! I didn’t think she was so upset…”

“She’s tough, sure, but she’s not invincible,” Chilchuck said. “So just take it easy on her, okay?”

Flertom nodded, having come around to guilt while they waited, poked at their food and tried to pretend there wasn’t a member of their party sulking in the bathroom. Meijack stayed in there a while, and while Chilchuck was debating sending Flertom in to get her, she caught sight of her sister moving a little less urgently through the holiday crowd to the table.

“She’s coming back,” said Flertom, pulling her head out of the aisle. Chilchuck smacked Laios’ shoulder.

“Alright, let me up, doofus.”

Puckpatti and Flertom giggled as Laios awkwardly shuffled into the aisle to let Chilchuck up.  He immediately flopped back into the booth to stay out of it. Chilchuck wasn’t in the mind to invite him, either. He fished around in his pockets as Meijack approached, finding a roll of quarters. He met her halfway and stopped her.

“Hey, you, uh. You want to play the zombie game with me?”

Chilchuck threw a thumb over his shoulder at the scuffed House of the Dead cabinet. Meijack blinked at him, confused. Her eyeliner looked even, but fresh. Her cheeks were a little red.

“Sure,” she decided. Chilchuck tried on a smile as he led her to the “arcade,” a couple of aging games shoved into a corner next to an overpriced candy vending machine. Meijack took the light gun on the right, the one used least often with the better trigger, and Chilchuck took the beat-up gun on the left that had some heinous substance slathered on the grip, knowing he’d be missing three of every four shots anyway.

They watched the corny, polygonal intro like they did every time, snickering at the voice acting. Meijack didn’t waste a single bullet, and Chilchuck was… trying. He kept forgetting how to reload between visits, only reminded when Meijack tapped him on the shoulder to show him how to shoot offscreen.

“So, uh… how’s it going, kid?”

Meijack clucked her tongue, having waited for that floating question to drop.

“It’s going,” she said. Chilchuck couldn’t help but snort.

“Yeah,” he commiserated. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Meijack rolled her shoulder and reloaded. “What’s there to tell? Same as usual.”

“Are those knuckleheads messing with you again?”

Mei scowled. “She squealed, huh?” She singlehandedly put the first boss down, which was good, because Chilchuck was bad at landing a hit on Chariot on a good day where he wasn’t managing his daughter’s fragile emotional state.

“Because she cares about you, Mei,” Chilchuck said. Mei exhaled through her nose and stayed focused on the game.

“She’s got a funny way of showing that,” she grumbled.

“It was a crappy joke to make,” Chilchuck ceded. “She’s sorry about it. She didn’t know how much it hurt your feelings.”

Meijack missed a shot. “It’s not that big of a deal,” Meijack ground out. Chilchuck died. He pulled another quarter out of the roll and popped it in to buy his character out of Hell. “I started it. It’s fine.”

“If it pissed you off, it’s not,” Chilchuck said. “I know—that whole thing has been hard on you, but it wasn’t your fault. It’s not like you decided—”

“Because I was a fetus at the time, yeah, yeah.” Meijack waved him off. “But it doesn’t really matter if I decided to do it, right? It happened anyway.”

“Mei...”

“It doesn’t matter if I wanted it to happen or not, but she could’ve died because of me. Maybe Mom, too.”

Chilchuck’s throat went dry. “That’s—not anything you did, it just happened. Human bodies are weird, Meijack, they don’t pick favorites consciously. It’s the luck of the draw. It sucks, but that’s how it is. Flertom doesn’t hold it against you, she’s just—bad at dropping a joke. And look at her now! She’s doing fine. She went to State, for God’s sake.”

Another stage cleared, and the Hangedman slain.  Chilchuck had nothing to do with that.

“I just wonder sometimes, you know?” Meijack dropped her gun to rest her arm. “If it would have been better, easier, for everyone, if I just—hadn’t happened?”

The third chapter started without them. Chilchuck dropped the gun and yanked Meijack into a hug.

“Don’t say that,” he hissed. “Mei, I’m serious. Don’t even think that.”

“It’s not—don’t freak out, Dad.”

“What are you talking about? That’s—that’s not true at all, I-I can’t believe I even let you think for a second—”

He squeezed. The demons in the cabinet made quick work of the agents they were playing, and the Game Over counter started.

“Dad… you’re gonna waste your quarters.”

“I got twenty dollars of quarters, honey.” His voice wobbled a little bit. Meijack reached up to pat her father on the back.

“I wasn’t gonna do anything,” Meijack mumbled. Chilchuck squeezed tighter.

“You better not,” he said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m just so glad you told me, Mei.”

Meijack hugged him back. People were staring. She pretended not to see.

“You know what I did, when the doctors called me and said you were good to come home from the NICU?” Chilchuck sniffed, still squeezing. Mei was starting to suffocate a little bit. “I f—I screamed, Mei. My partner thought I’d been shanked. I was running and jumping around the station like a basket case.”

Mei laughed a little bit, a choked sound. Chilchuck held the back of her head like he used to when she was small, and she gripped the back of his windbreaker in both hands. He patted her back and held her for a while until she relaxed, her breathing evened out.

“Now are you going to tell me about your girlfriend?” Chilchuck asked, and Meijack groaned and tried to pry herself out of the hug.

“Alright, moment ruined, bye Dad.”  

“Not done.”

“Augh—!”

They played another round to calm down, managing to get to the end of Chapter 3 before calling it quits. When they finally returned to the booth after a quick detour, a flight of a half-dozen different-flavored smoothies had been arranged artfully in the middle of the table. Laios was glad to see Chilchuck, but there was a guilty look on his face. “Hey! Um… good to have you back!”

“Nice to be back,” Chilchuck said. “What the hell is this, Laios?”

“I, uh, panicked. The waitress came back and I didn’t know how long you would be, so…”

“He said we’d get smoothies for dessert, and she asked him what kind of smoothie we wanted, and he just blurted out ‘every smoothie,’ and now we have every smoothie,” Puckpatti helpfully explained.

“I’ll pay for it,” Laios asserted.

Chilchuck smiled wearily. “Nah. I got it this time.”

He kicked at Laios’ calf to get him to scoot over, and as he took a seat, Flertom had sprung up out of hers to fling her arms around Meijack’s neck.

“Mei, I’m so sorry!” Fler wailed. Fat tears dripped through the fishnet sleeves of Meijack’s top. The grimace on Meijack’s face indicated it was not a pleasant sensory experience. “I was being such a jerk to you!”

“That’s normal,” Meijack sighed, giving Fler a couple hard pats on the back. “I was too. Couldn’t take what I was dishing out, I guess.”

“I won’t joke about that kinda stuff anymore, I promise!”

“And I won’t razz you for eating freakish amounts of pizza in one sitting,” Meijack agreed. “I guess you need extra after I nearly ate you in the womb.”

“Hey!”

Meijack laughed, wheezing through her teeth. Chilchuck hadn’t heard her laugh like that in a while. Flertom rolled her eyes and sat down to reach for whatever looked the most strawberry flavored. When Meijack came in next to her, Flertom bumped their shoulders together. All was forgiven.

Chilchuck stuck a straw in whatever was closest to him and took a sip. He gagged. “Oh, that’s awful! What in the hell—it’s puke green, too!”

“Oh, is that avocado?” Meijack reached across the table, sliding hers to Chil. “Gimme that. This one’s mango.”

“Yes, thank you for the normal smoothie flavor. You like that slop?”

“There’s a café on the corner up the street from our school that has avocado drinks,” Flertom answered on Meijack’s behalf. Mei didn’t have any objections. “I dared her to try one once, and she ended up liking it.”

“I usually regret taking her up on those, but it worked out that time,” Mei smiled. “Nice break from the sugary coffee Flertom likes.”

“Hey, you can’t be drinking coffee at your age,” Chilchuck nagged. Nobody complained about Laios taking two smoothies for himself, his payment for weathering a sulking Flertom and a confused Puckpatti. “Does your mother know about this?”

“Oh, lighten up, Dad, I get the tall size, it’s barely anything!”

“The tall!? "

“That’s the small size!”

“That doesn’t make a lick of sense—”

Whenever Chilchuck launched into one of his rants, the girls laughed. Laios remembered when he sat at the table back home, unable to leave until dismissed, until his father was done talking him into submission or Falin had defused the argument. When his father raised his voice, nobody was laughing. It still felt disrespectful watching Flertom double over onto the table, almost crying while her father went red in the face as Mei fruitlessly explained Starbucks sizing to a man who drank drip coffee straight from the pot, but when Chilchuck reared back and watched his kids fall all over each other in hysterics, he just seemed proud.

“Hey.” Laios had been watching a little too hard. Chilchuck patted his thigh. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Whenever you are,” Laios breathed.

The drive back home—to Chilchuck’s home—went slower. They merged onto the freeway at rush hour, unfortunately, but nobody was in a hurry to get anywhere. It was only 5:30, but the sun had long since set and the biting cold came in through the windows. There were many things wrong with Chilchuck’s sedan, but the heat worked just fine. Chilchuck’s hands were a little chilly on the wheel, having given his gloves to Puck as promised, but when traffic stalled he put one hand under the dash where the heater was and the other on Laios’ thigh. Laios curled his fingers around Chil’s palm, and Chilchuck squeezed Laios’ thumb. Warm blood had rushed back to his fingers. When traffic started up again, Chil left it there and kept one hand on the wheel. Laios leaned an arm on the door by the window and tried to act natural, something he’s never known how to do even in a sober moment.

“So what’s in that book, anyway?” Chilchuck asked, watching Mei’s face in the rear-view mirror. “What’s it about?”

“Oh… um. It’s a love story, I guess?” Mei shrugged. “It’s one of those things where it’s mostly subtext, but when you pay attention, you see how these two characters are obsessed with each other.  It’s got a lot of symbolism in it, esoteric references…”

“And a weird chapter where they go to space, right?” Laios asked.

“Yeah. That one’s a little divisive.”

“What’s that about? Marcille tried to explain it to me, but it didn’t make any sense.”

Meijack’s cheeks went a little pink through her foundation. “Ah… well… it’s a little embarrassing to say out loud.”

“Then you don’t have to, Mei.” Chilchuck squeezed Laios’ leg, as if to say watch it. Laios felt an inappropriate twinge and shifted around but didn’t swat him off. Chilchuck patted his thigh and squeezed his thumb again, pleased with whatever that reaction had told him, and smirked to himself. He didn’t smile all that often, at least not at work, but when he did the lines of his crow’s feet deepened and Laios always always always noticed.

“Yeah, Laios!” Fler said, poking him in the back of the neck through the bars of the headrest. “I’ve embarrassed Mei enough today.”

Meijack snorted. “I think you embarrassed yourself, Fler.”

Flertom whipped around to counterattack and Chilchuck raised his hand as if stopping a platoon of troopers. Laios inwardly wept.

“Hey, hey, hey. A moratorium on the roasting for tonight, kids. Alright? Let’s embarrass someone else.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Do me!” Puckpatti giggled.

“Seriously, Puck?” Meijack asked, suspicious.

“Yeah! It sounds fun.”

“It just sounds like you’re looking for your next prank target,” Mei teased.

“I got one,” Chilchuck said, willing to take one for the team. His hand found Laios’ thigh again, force of habit, and Laios was already counting this Christmas as his best ever. “Puck rotates her stuffed animals every night, so they all get equal quality time.”

“It’s true,” Puckpatti said with grave seriousness. “But not embarrassing!” she giggled. “Nice try, Daddy.”

“I don’t think you can be embarrassed, Puck,” said Fler.

“That’s what’s fun about it,” she snickered.

“It’s adorable, to be fair,” Laios said. Puck bowed as if that were her intention.

“Thank you.”

“I got one about your dad,” Laios said. Chilchuck’s fingers dug like claws into Laios’ lap, but Laios bit his tongue and endured it.

“Oh?” The girls were practically breathing down Laios’ back, leaned forward in their seats.

“One time while we were hanging out after work, your dad started singing—”

“Laios—”

“—Queen to me, and he was super into it—”

Chilchuck punched Laios’ shoulder and gripped the back of his shirt like he was going to throttle him. Laios just laughed breathlessly.

“—and it was nice! Really! It was cute!”

“Was it Seaside Rendezvous?” Flertom chittered. “He’s always whistling that one.”

“No, it was—”

“I’m gonna crash this car, Laios, try me!”

“You wouldn’t.”

Laios and Chilchuck met eyes. Chilchuck broke immediately and deflated. “Yeah… I wouldn’t.”

Laios turned back to the kids. “It was Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy.” Chilchuck smacked his forehead on the wheel. Thankfully, traffic was at a standstill.

“Wow,” Meijack snorted. “I was really sweating coming out for no reason, huh?”

“You were,” Chilchuck sighed. “But I get it.” Chilchuck smacked the steering wheel in rhythm with Jingle Bell Rock on the radio. “Here’s something: Laios has an imaginary friend.”

The kids broke out into snickering laughter. Laios gawped at Chilchuck, who just smirked back at him.

“It’s not an—imaginary friend,” Laios scoffed. “It’s an original character.”

Meijack perked up at that. “What’s his original character, Dad?”

“It’s this—God, I don’t even know how to describe it—this big monster thing with three heads?”

“A Cerberus?” Puck guessed.

“You’re… pretty close,” Laios said. “It’s more like a—have you ever heard of a ‘chimera’?”

Puckpatti made a happy noise. “Oh! Yeah! So it’s like, a bunch of animals in a blender?”

“Exactly!” Laios clapped. “I’m glad to see someone understands my vision.”

“You’re lucky she’s into mythology,” Chilchuck laughed. “So you’ve been reading that book you got for your birthday?”

“Yeah! It’s really cool, Daddy. I like the hydra the best.”

“That’s the one on the cover, right? The big scary guy with all the heads?”

“Mhm! If you cut one off, it grows two more!” Puckpatti cackled in a cartoonishly evil way. “Of course, some jerk manages to kill it anyway, but I like to think the hydra played dead like a possum and just grew another head back later.”

“Some jerk? You mean Heracles?” Laios laughed.

“That’s him,” Puckpatti sneered. “Just killing all these cool monsters, and for what? Because some guy him to?”

“I think it was to atone for murdering his wife and children,” Meijack said. Chilchuck could hear the smile in her voice.

“Well, how’s that the hydra’s fault, hmm?” Puckpatti asked, indignant. “He was just minding his business!”

“Tell me more about your OC, Laios,” Mei prodded. “What’s the lore? Go on.”

“O-oh, um, well—it’s—it’s supposed to be like the ultimate creature, right, the perfect being, so...”

Laios explained the whole way home; Mei and Puck were enthralled, and whether it was ironic or not on Mei’s part was difficult to tell. Flertom was hopelessly lost, but nevertheless taken up in Laios’ passionate explanation. As they pulled into Chilchuck’s neighborhood, it was dark and the light was beginning to burn out on the horizon past the trees, Laios had just explained his character’s… reforestation efforts, and the kids were in stitches. Now that Laios had been properly embarrassed, Chilchuck gave his thigh one last squeeze, a reassuring confirmation that the game was over.

“Laios is gonna help me get some stuff out of the car real quick,” Chilchuck announced, not bothering to ask Laios permission. He’d say yes anyway. “Fler, go ahead and let your sisters into the house for me. You got your key, right?”

“Mhm!”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

The girls filed out of the car, Flertom helping Puck over the icy curb. Chilchuck gave Laios a smile that meant something good would be happening tonight, but Laios couldn’t imagine what. Nothing slipped by those kids, at least not the twins. Regardless, Laios stepped out of the car and went around to the trunk and waited as Chilchuck stuck the key in and popped it. Chilchuck watched the girl’s backs as they went inside; once the door clicked shut behind them, he grabbed Laios by the strings of his hoodie and yanked him down for a kiss. Laios complied instinctively, finding Chilchuck’s mouth—or rather, taking it when they crashed against his. It stayed closed, tongues behind teeth, but maybe Laios’ lips were parted when Chil pulled away, breathless from a few seconds of contact.

“You never told me you were good with kids,” Chilchuck said with a lopsided grin. Laios’ heart was pounding in his ears, and he was too stunned to reply. “You could’ve scored some points with me a lot sooner if you had.”

“I, uh, didn’t know I was,” Laios croaked. “I thought I just kinda scared them? You remember that fever call we responded on…”

Chilchuck snickered. “Buddy, he was running 104 degrees. Whatever he thought he was screaming at, it wasn’t you.”

Laios blushed. Chilchuck kissed him again, a little more firmly this time.

“Well, you know, if I went up to you asking about your kids and telling you I’m super cool with them and can be trusted with them, honest, I’m a good guy, Chil, would you have—”

“I wouldn’t have gone for it, no,” Chil admitted. “Fair point.” Chilchuck patted a long, beat-up cardboard box. “You mind carrying this for me? It’s not too heavy, it’s just taller than I am. It’s a fake tree.”

“Ah, reusable,” Laios nodded. “Smart.”

“I just hate the pine needles,” Chilchuck shrugged. As Laios hoisted the boxed tree onto his shoulder, Chil pulled some more boxes out: reused appliance boxes and a plastic tub, variously labeled X-MAS, ORNAMENTS, and OLD HOUSE. “Plus, it’s easy to set up. I like to wait until the kids get here to decorate.”

“Do you like to wait, or were you putting it off?” Laios teased. Chilchuck clicked his tongue.

“Hey.” Chilchuck’s eyebrows lowered to a hard edge, mouth pulled into a firm line. Chilchuck stepped into Laios’ space, Laios taking half a step back. “Are you talking back to me, kid?”

Laios’ face bloomed. “I-I wasn’t—I was just—uh—”

Chilchuck grinned with teeth. Laios melted all at once and punched his shoulder. Chilchuck took it without complaint and handed him the plastic tub of string lights, heavy but still easily tucked under one of Laios’ arms. Chilchuck wrestled the trunk shut, two boxes hoisted on one shoulder. It was impressive how much Chilchuck could carry with such a small frame; maybe being lower to the ground made his center of gravity steadier, or maybe Chilchuck was just that stubborn.

“I’m pretty lazy off the clock, to be fair, but it isn’t that. The kids just like to be involved,” Chilchuck shrugged. “Let’s go, Lai.”

Laios hurried after Chilchuck into the house and nearly slipped on a patch of ice.

“They’re, uh. Easy to get along with,” Laios said, stumbling back into a semi-casual walk. “They’re good kids, Chil.”

He smiled. “We did our best.”

Chil did most of the heavy lifting in setting up the tree, very particular about the arrangement of wires and overcautious of the surrounding furniture in a way that suggested some kind of terrible catastrophe had occurred in previous years. Once the “trunk” of the tree was fixed firmly and the creaky “branches” extended to cover conspicuous blind spots, the girls were unleashed on the ornaments. Chilchuck set up a few of the knickknacks that had survived the divorce as Fler and Mei arranged the lights on the branches in a configuration Fler kept changing her mind about and Mei quietly tolerated. Puckpatti rummaged through the boxes, finding the cute ceramic reindeer set to hang up first. Realizing she was still too short to reach the high branches, she coaxed Laios into helping her distribute them a little more evenly while Chilchuck hung back and watched them. With Laios’ assistance, the tree topper went on without a new seasonal disaster. Puckpatti seemed disappointed by how easy it had been.

With the Family Event accomplished, the kids stuck around for a bit to stare at the tree with the lights down. Laios stepped back as not to block the view, and felt the warm, curved side of a mug brush his knuckles. Chilchuck held the cup by the rim while Laios took the handle and brought it to his lips. Chilchuck watched as he took a sip of what he thought was just coffee and winced.

“Spiking my drink? That’s low, Chil.”

“I put one splash of Bailey’s in it, relax.” Chilchuck took a long drink from his cup, one labeled World’s Okayest Dad.

“Let me have a sip of yours. I need to know the dosage you’re taking.”

“It’s a holiday, Lai, loosen up.”

Laios smiled. “I didn’t know you even celebrated Christmas.”

“I don’t,” Chilchuck snorted. “But the kids do.”

Their shoulders bumped together. When Laios looked up he saw Flertom watching them. Laios panicked, but Fler just giggled and turned back to the TV. Meijack was loading up Mario Kart, and there was still space for a fourth. Laios thought about joining in, but he looked at his watch and realized it was late. Laios didn’t have to work until tomorrow evening, but it would be inappropriate to stay when it was Chilchuck’s weekend with his kids. He took a little sip of the coffee to be courteous, savoring the little act of care without trying to get himself too buzzed for the drive home, and handed the mug back. Chilchuck looked at him like he’d grown a second head.

“I don’t want to overstay,” Laios whispered. “Jaylark wouldn’t like it, right? It’s a little…”

Gears turned behind Chilchuck’s brown eyes. “I mean…” He scratched his sideburns, avoiding eye contact. “I told her about us. They’ve met her boyfriend already. I don’t think it would be that big of a deal…”

Chilchuck trailed off. He handed the mug back to Laios, who took it without a fuss.

“They, uh, seem to like you. So.” Chilchuck cleared his throat. “It would be fine. If you stayed.”

When Chilchuck finally met Laios’ eyes again, his lashes were wet and his light brown eyes shone gold. He had his mug in a two-handed, white-knuckled grip. Chilchuck was worried he’d crack the ceramic—it was one Fler had painted for him in his team’s colors, a subtle reference with tasteful geometric shapes that fit her style a little more than her dad’s.

“Thanks, Chil,” Laios choked out. Chilchuck reached up to pat Laios on the shoulder, then second-guessed it, hugging Laios around the middle and pulling him into his side.

“You’re working Christmas Eve, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Laios sniffed. He’d gotten himself under control before any tears spilled. Score. “24-hour this time."

“Mm.” Chilchuck’s arm tightened, a sympathetic squeeze. “That’s rough. Yeah, better for you to stay the night, then.” Despite his casual tone, Chilchuck could feel his heart in his throat; maybe it was acid reflux. Laios slung a loose arm around Chil’s shoulders and didn’t hear a peep in edgewise. Oh my God this is happening oh my God this is happening oh my God this is happening…

“Dad?” Meijack called. Chilchuck made an affirmative noise, midway through a gulp of Irish coffee. “You gonna play with us, or should we tag Laios in?”

Chilchuck considered it as he swallowed. “Eh, why not. You mind waiting to have a turn, Lai?”

“I could—use a shower, actually,” Laios stammered. “Since I’m staying the night, and all.”

Chilchuck smirked at him and nodded. “Sounds good to me.” He gave Laios one last squeeze. When Mei averted her eyes from the gross display of affection, Chil motioned him down to whisper in his ear. “I’m sure I’ve got some, uh, borrowed shirts in there. I don’t know about pants, but I got those sweats I stretched out too much to wear, they might fit?”

Chil could feel the heat radiating off Laios’ face as he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. Whatever," Laios shrugged. Chilchuck snickered, gave Laios a kiss on the cheek, and headed for the couch. Laios made as smooth an exit as he could, which still involved getting swatted in the face with a sprig of mistletoe taped to the doorway. He ducked into Chilchuck’s room, finding it… a little cleaner? There had been an effort to wash the carpet and linens, which may have been more for Chilchuck’s peace of mind than his kid’s health. There were still clothes strewn about, a few long-empty water glasses full of dust on the bedside table, a smudged mirror, a CD player clock, and a tower of CD cases that had been fashionable more than a decade ago. Laios found the oversized fleece-lined sweatpants Chilchuck had mentioned in a pile by the closet; they’d look more like capris on Laios, but they were decently clean. Laios recognized one of his graphic tees, a Godzilla shirt with faded ink and a pillow stuffed inside it. He took it back, figuring Chilchuck could do without it tonight. It smelled like him, sort of, without the familiar tobacco musk. He’d been noticing less and less lately.

Laios hightailed it to the shower. He kept the temperature low, trying to keep himself calm. He needed to last a little bit longer, needed to make a good impression. Laios was half-hard, and thinking about Chilchuck stealing his clothes to have in his absence was making him buzz in a way that the half-shot of Bailey’s couldn’t excuse. He stared at the cryptic text on the Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle until he could think about something other than his sinful thoughts, his blood pressure dropping. He was immaculate and serene when he emerged from the shower, untold tens of minutes later, cleansed of impure urges and ready to engage constructively with society. He stepped into Chilchuck’s sweats and pulled on his reclaimed shirt, stopping to hold the cloth to his face and breathe in. The fires of hell licked at his heels, but he ignored the burn, took in a lungful of steam, and stepped out.

It was Laios’ turn to hang in the doorway and watch. Meijack was poised but relaxed, back against the couch, controller held at a comfortable angle. Flertom was folded over her lap, leaning into the game, eyebrows pinched and controller jerked in violent angles as she hit turns in the track. Chilchuck was clueless, the smart steering the only thing keeping him on the road, but whenever he picked up the blue shell he would cackle like a madman and Flertom would plead for mercy before being struck down. Puckpatti’s kart had drifted into a barrier and going nowhere fast. She was slowly sliding down the back of the couch, curling more and more around Bernie until her forehead hit the couch cushion and she started softly snoring. Chilchuck didn’t notice until halfway through the race, but once he did, his kart driving competency decreased drastically. He took a long jump to put Puck’s controller in a safe spot and slide a throw pillow under Puck’s head. He tried to get his head back in the game, but all the competitive spirit had been burned out of Chilchuck, and his attention had shifted to Flertom, who had risen onto her knees into a half-standing posture as she reclaimed the first-place spot. Meijack, who had been usurped by CPU racer, hit an item box and pulled a blue shell. She didn’t touch it. Fler crossed the finish line, and just before she could scream in victory, Chilchuck put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. He nodded to Puckpatti, zonked out and curled up into Chilchuck’s side. She smiled and nodded.

Meijack gathered up their controllers in silence, organizing everything in a stickered carrying case as Flertom tiptoed around Puckpatti, catching Laios’ eye on the way. She smiled. “Nice sweats!” she whispered. “I like how guys are doing the calves-out look now. Real trendy.”

“Fler!” Chilchuck hissed, but Laios was happy to take the compliment.

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind when the sun comes back out.” Flertom beamed and sauntered off to the bathroom for her needless skincare routine. Meijack turned off the television and wrapped up any extraneous cords, keeping everything in a neat cubby in the entertainment center. She, too, met Laios on the way to bed, and gave him the slightest smile.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, voice low but still perfectly clear. “Let’s play Smash again sometime.”

“I’d-I’d like that,” Laios stammered, still convinced he’d fumble something. Meijack bid him goodnight.  

Last in the procession was Chilchuck, a drowsy Puckpatti curled into his shoulder. Chil wasn’t very much bigger than her, and she was getting to be too old to be carried, but he carried her into the kitchen anyway, and then into what used to be a pantry. Even Chilchuck had to duck his head at the sloped ceiling above her bed, craning a little to tuck her in. She’d roused slightly at being moved, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes as Chilchuck pulled a blanket up to her shoulders.

“Who’s next in the rotation?” Chilchuck asked.

“Mm… Frosty,” Puckpatti murmured, and Chilchuck swapped out the red dragon for a fluffy white one. She tucked her nose into its cottony fur and went out with the lights as soon as Chilchuck flicked the switch. He closed the door, turning to find Laios in the fridge, cracking a can of green tea as quietly as possible. He winced at the hiss of air.

“She slept through Flertom’s gametime shouting, Lai, you’re fine,” Chilchuck laughed. Laios startled a bit but relaxed at Chilchuck’s soft tone. He took a long sip, his mouth dry. Chilchuck hoisted himself up to sit on the counter next to the sink, and Laios leaned into the fridge door to make sure it stayed shut. Laios took another drink that Chilchuck watched, and made an expectant, grabby gesture with his hands until Laios passed the can.

“Sorry,” Laios blurted out. Chilchuck made a confused noise around a mouthful of sugary green tea. “I’m so—awkward about this kind of stuff. I didn’t want to say anything weird, or scare them, or make them think—I don’t know. Did me being there make it weird?”

Chilchuck snorted. “What are you blathering about? That was the best night out we’ve had in a while.” Laios boggled at him. “Buddy, when it’s just me flying solo they usually all get a turn to cry. Not that I’m giving them a bad time or anything, that’s just how kids are. They push each other’s buttons, push boundaries, see what they get away with and how to pay up for what they don’t. Fler and Mei do that shit all the time. Puckpatti too! I think she was trying to get your guard down tonight, don’t be fooled.”

“I don’t know,” Laios shrugged, his tone a little lighter. “I think me and Puckpatti get along.”

“I thought you would.” Chilchuck grinned, swishing the tea in the can before putting it down on the counter at his side. “That makes you even more of a target, y’know.”

Laios laughed, and he reached for the tea, and Chilchuck caught him. He gripped the V-neck collar of Laios' shirt to reel him in, and Laios melted immediately into Chilchuck’s firmly pressed kiss. His hands slapped against the counter to keep from falling onto Chilchuck, knocking the can of tea into the sink and spilling the rest. “You owe me ninety-nine cents,” Chilchuck muttered, and when Laios snickered he bit into Laios’ lower lip and drew out a gasp. Chilchuck made a disapproving noise and stuck his tongue past Laios’ teeth, a hand at the back of his neck keeping him close to be silenced. Laios eyes fluttered shut, and there was no thought in his head that could be found in the Bible.

“Be quiet,” Chilchuck hissed. “Keep whining like a bitch in heat and somebody’ll hear you. And not in the fun way.”

Laios let out a long breath that whistled through his nose, chewing his tongue to stay quiet as Chilchuck nipped at Adam’s apple, laving his tongue over it. Is he drunk? Laios thought distantly, burning up. He had some Bailey’s earlier, but usually to get this worked up and filthy he would have put a few more back, and he didn’t smell like—

“You’re whining again,” Chilchuck teased. Laios didn’t even notice his needy little sounds and tucked his head into Chil’s shoulder to hide his embarrassment.

“I thought—I didn’t—have to worry about—ah—”

Chilchuck stopped, gripping the back of Laios’ neck tightly. “Are you talking back to me, kid?” Oh, fuck you, Laios thought, but nothing coherent escaped his mouth. “What? Speak up. You got something to say to me?”

“I—I think we should—should go to your room. I don’t—trust myself.”

Chilchuck rumbled, considering it.

“Yeah,” he huffed, as if it were a huge chore to walk thirty feet. Peeling apart was difficult, but Chilchuck grabbed Laios’ sweaty hand and Laios found the wherewithal to continue. They hurried past the bathroom in the hallway, narrowly ducking into Chilchuck’s bedroom before Fler finished her nightly cosmetic ritual. The door shut and Laios slumped against it, breathing in relief, and Chilchuck pounced on him. Laios expected to catch him and haul him up for a kiss, as often happened, but Chilchuck slapped the lock shut and stuck both hands up Laios’ shirt, bunching it up over his pecs to expose him. Chilchuck kissed Laios’ ribs and the swell of each pec, deliberately avoiding erogenous zones until Laios was pushing up into it, pushing his chest into Chilchuck’s face, parting his legs so Chilchuck could straddle one of his thighs.

“Better?” Chilchuck panted, nipping at the meat of his breast, leaving a constellation of bruises along his upper body that were easily hidden under a shirt but not so easily healed from. Laios shuddered, clapped a hand to his mouth to muffle his whimpers, but Chilchuck stopped.

“I need an answer, Lai.”

“Y-yeah,” Laios gurgled. Chilchuck grinned reassuringly. “Much better.” Chilchuck purred and rewarded his honesty with two hands stuck down the back of his sweats, where he cupped his ass and squeezed. Laios yelped into the palm of his hand, already wet with his heavy breaths and drool.

“I haven’t even touched you, man,” Chilchuck tittered. “Just felt you up a little, and now look at you. Have you been like this all day?” He brushed—brushed—the cap of his knee against Laios’ bulge through his sweats, and Laios buckled, his hips jerked. He’d hump Chilchuck’s leg if he let him. Chilchuck almost wanted to. “You pervert. I thought we were having a nice family event.”

“I didn’t—it wasn’t like that—I wasn’t expecting—”

“Relax, Laios. I’m teasing.” He broke the antagonistic mood to ruffle Laios’ hair—and then yanked it, stretching his arm to hold him to the door as he bit down on one pebbled nipple. Laios had to bite his thumb to keep from shouting. “I think it’s cute,” he panted, still reassuring and soft while he shoved Laios’ waistband down to his thighs and gripped his hips in both hands. “You were anticipating it, right? We usually fuck after yoga anyway.”

“Or during,” Laios squeaked.

“Or during,” Chilchuck agreed. “Well? Answer the question. Were you thinking about it?”

Laios chewed the inside of his cheek. His face had bloomed once again, a beautiful pink color. “I… I was. I prepared, for it.”

Chilchuck’s head cocked with interest. He pulled Laios’ hips down on his thigh, grinding him against the starchy fabric of his date night slacks. “Prepared how, boy? Psyched yourself up? Looked at a magazine? What?”

Laios swallowed. “Remember how we… talked, about trying new positions? And I suggested…” Chilchuck’s face lit up, but he kept his mouth shut. Laios squirmed. “I suggested that you—really fuck me?”

Chilchuck broke into a raunchy cackle… and then a disappointed sigh once he’d thought about the time frame. “Aww. Too late for that now, huh?”

Laios nodded sadly. Chilchuck cracked up again and dropped his face against Laios’ chest, idly feeling him up as he laughed through his private joke. Laios stiffened and squirmed. “Poor guy. You’re ready to go and I roll up with my kids… sorry, Lai. I should’ve been more on top of my schedule.”

It was such a real thing to say that Laios snapped out of the scene for a second. He put a hand on Chilchuck’s face to hold his cheek, stroked up into his hair, brushed a thumb over the corner of Chilchuck’s eye, to the lines where his smile reached.

“Don’t be,” Laios said. “I’m glad it happened the way it did. I had fun. Just not… the kind I was expecting.”

Chilchuck touched Laios’ arm, squeezing his wrist. He grinned softly, and then hardened himself into a meaner edge. “Go sit down, corny ass.”

Laios rolled his eyes performatively. “Hey!” Chilchuck swatted Laios’ bare flank, making him stumble out of his too-tight sweats and land face-down in bed. It had been a weak spank by even their mostly vanilla metrics but came as enough of a surprise to topple him. Chilchuck tried to fight the endeared smile as he watched Laios flop around on the cheap mattress and find his bearings. Chil tried on a stern affect. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, boy. I’m trying to give you what you were looking for, and that’s how you treat me? Honestly, you’re a real brat sometimes.”

Laios’ shoulders and chest were red. Chilchuck let a little of the grin show, reassuring Laios that was the intended reaction he should be having. Chilchuck pulled off his short-sleeved polo and reached for his belt, meaning just to get his pants off, when he realized Laios’ eyes had locked onto his fingers on the buckle. The look on his face was hard to read, as always, somewhat fearful, somewhat hopeful, above all focused. Excited, even.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, son,” he chided. Laios shrunk a little, but still watched greedily as Chil unhooked the pin and pulled the belt through the loops. “I’m not using this on you tonight. Full stop.” Laios looked heartbroken in that distinctly canine way, head hung, eyes upturned pathetically. “No,” Chilchuck argued, jabbing a finger. “No. Don’t give me that shit. Alright?” Laios rubbed the back of his neck, feeling ashamed. Chilchuck’s shoulders slumped, and he softened up, a little more apologetic. “Not while my kids are here. Later.”

Laios perked up and grinned ear to ear.

“There he is,” Chil sighed. “Christ. Lie down on your back.”

Laios obeyed, and Chilchuck tossed the belt aside. Laios watched wistfully as it clattered to the floor, but then Chilchuck was unbuttoning his slacks and rummaging through his drawers and Laios’ attention was redirected. He rolled onto his side, out of his assigned position, and Chilchuck weighed scolding him for it. His eyes traveled along the slope of his shoulder to his arm, down to his waist, his hip cocked at an appealing angle; Laios had to fold up a little to fit in Chilchuck’s bed.

“Actually…” Chilchuck scratched his jaw. “Stay like that, please. I’ll put off belting you if you move again.” Laios stayed as still as a statue, and Chilchuck laughed at the absurdity of keeping Laios in line on the threat of not being punished. He pulled a tube of lubricant out, and Laios bit back a whine.

“Did you really go through the work of prepping yourself before driving two hours to see me?” Chilchuck teased. Laios nodded.

“Yes,” he croaked when Chilchuck waited for a proper response.

“Desperate,” Chilchuck sang in a lilting tune.  Laios hid his face in his hands.  “You’re so eager to see your Daddy.”

The word hit Laios like a bolt of lightning, all the muscles in his body springing to alertness. “Hey,” Laios sputtered, “Woah, where did that come from?”

Chilchuck guffawed. “Laios. Baby.” Laios coiled up a little tighter, woefully unprepared for that two-hit combo. “You were ready for me to smack your ass with a belt, and you get squirmy every time I raise my voice a little bit. I can put two and two together.”

Laios couldn’t contest those allegations, but he could clam up and say nothing. Chilchuck put the lube in his pocket walked around to the other side of the bed, eyes on Laios to keep him frozen in place, and slid up behind him. Chilchuck wrapped his arms around his middle and pressed flush to Laios’ back.

“I won’t say it again if it’s not doing anything for you,” Chil mumbled into Laios’ shoulder blade, kissing down the line of it. “But it looks like it is.” He palmed at Laios’ cock through his boxers, pulled tight enough for the hem cut into his thighs. “So it’s up to you, if you wanna call me that. But I’m not going to complain.”

“It’s not—weird to you?” Laios squawked, voice uneven with every squeeze and twist of the palm. Chilchuck brought in another hand to grope at a soft, firm tit, pinching two fingers around a nipple.

“Oh, it absolutely is.” Laios groaned and his heart thumped. He cringed away from Chilchuck but he put a hand on Laios’ hip and pulled him back into position. “But it gets you off, so I’m all for it.”

Laios whined openly, and Chilchuck moved from copping a feel to holding Laios’ mouth shut. Chilchuck shushed him, pressing his lips up the curve of Laios’ neck and felt his jaw muscles strain to stay closed. He moved to cup his hands over his mouth and Laios sighed into his palm, kissed it, grateful for something to do with his mouth.

“That’s it,” Chilchuck hummed. “You don’t have to bark for me tonight, puppy.” Laios whined through his nose. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

Chilchuck dropped his hand to let Laios catch his breath and fished around in his pocket for the lube. It hadn’t gotten very warm in the few seconds Chilchuck was pretending he could wait, but he worked it feverishly between his hands before stroking down between his buttocks to slick him up. Laios’ mouth hung open but he tried to close his throat, letting out a strangled yelp. Chilchuck shushed him again, giving him a light slap on the flank. Somehow it stung worse for being a lighter, quieter strike, like it was an insult.

“So loud,” Chilchuck hissed. He gnawed on Laios’ shoulder and traced the rim of Laios’ hole with the tips of his fingers. Laios pushed his face into Chilchuck’s pillow, the one he’d stolen his shirt back from, to muffle his shuddering sigh. “So dramatic. Do you need me to take you face down so you won’t wake the neighborhood?”

Laios nodded fervently into the pillows, but Chilchuck didn’t move until Laios lifted his head and asked for it. “Face down—please…” He tried not to get his hopes up to get fucked, especially as Chilchuck moved lower to slick up the insides of his thighs. As if picking up on that disappointment, Chilchuck made a cooing, simpering noise. He kissed between Laios’ shoulders and then encouraged him to get back on his knees.

“Can’t let me decide how I want to fuck you, even. You’re lucky you were such a good boy today, or I would’ve given up on giving you the belt entirely.”

Laios whined into the pillow, clutching it to his face. “I’ll be good, I promise,” he mumbled. Chilchuck patted his ass, appreciating how he curved it up invitingly for him. He spread his legs instinctively, something Chilchuck noted with amusement. Chilchuck clucked his tongue as he applied a mercilessly cold layer of lube to his balls, making Laios hiss and gnaw on the sweaty linen.

“You’re supposed to put ‘em together for what we’re doing, dumbass,” Chilchuck teased. Laios huffed bitterly as he brought his knees together, leaving a gap for Chilchuck to slide through. Instead of going for it, Chilchuck humped his slicked-up ass, gripping his flanks to hold him in place as he worked himself up. “Ahh, b-but you want it in your hole really bad, huh? So you couldn’t help but spread your legs for me?”

Laios whined something incoherent into the pillow. Chilchuck stroked down Laios’ thighs, digging his fingers into tightly coiled muscle.

“What was that you called me, hmm? Or are you just whining again?”

“Chil—”

Chilchuck juddered to a halt and breathed heavily. “Say it. Quietly, but loud enough for me to hear.”

He bent over Laios’ back to grab his hair and hold him up in case he’d lost the strength.

“Daddy,” Laios confessed. Chilchuck ruffled his hair and growled when he felt Laios clench tightly around his dick, wanting it even when he wasn’t getting fucked.

“Slut,” Chilchuck declared in turn, a hand gently splayed on his back as though he were knighting him. Laios nodded desperately. Chilchuck couldn’t help an actual, genuine laugh. “At least you’re self-aware, eh?” he teased, and rewarded his honesty once again by sliding between his thighs, pushing the head of his cock up behind his balls. Laios dropped his head back into the pillows to stifle a moan that scaled up in pitch as Chilchuck brushed along the underside of his cock.

“Daddy,” Laios warbled, thighs squeezing around Chilchuck’s cock. It was starting to get to Chil too.

“And now you can’t stop saying it,” Chilchuck groaned. “What have I done?”

“If you don’t—if you don’t want me to—” Chilchuck rolled his hips forward and Laios’ tongue tied.

“Quiet, boy,” Chil barked. “I’ll tell you if I’ve had enough.”

Laios shivered bodily at that stern tone. Chilchuck stroked up and down Laios’ back as he fucked his thighs, keeping one hand on his hips to reel him in when Laios got too enthusiastic about grinding down against him. In a nastier mood he might tease him for it, but as it was Chilchuck was content to enjoy the view of Laios’ spine twisting in frustrated pleasure, getting something close to what he wanted but not nearly enough.

“You still want it, huh?” Chilchuck purred, moving the hand on his hip to grab a handful of his ass. “You want me to fuck you for real?”

“Yes,” Laios panted, trying to keep his voice soft. “Daddy, please—”

“For how long?”

Laios blinked the sweat—the tears?—out of his eyes and struggled to understand the question, as none of his blood was reaching his brain. “F-forever?”

“How long have you wanted me to fuck you?” Chilchuck clarified, an exasperated edge to his voice.

“Since—” Laios buried his face in the pillow and groaned. “Since we—mm. F-forever.”

“God,” Chilchuck laughed, incredulous, fond. “You’re such a—fuck—”

Laios caught the crack in his voice and tightened up on him, pushed his ass into Chilchuck’s hips with a clap to encourage him. Chilchuck groaned and gripped Laios’ thighs, clawing at them as he held them together, thrusting his hips in a piston motion that he could already feel in his lumbar muscles. Even if it hurt like hell in the morning, it was worth it to hear Laios’ stuttered moaning into his pillow, the one Chilchuck clung to when they slept separately, the one Chilchuck stole Laios’ shirts to cover, the one that would smell like him over the weekend while he was working.

“I can’t give it to you how you want it tonight,” Chil panted, half-collapsed over Laios’ back. “But—but I’m gonna. Okay? You earned it, kid. You’re so good for me.”

Laios sobbed, and Chilchuck strained to reach around him and grab his cock, pulling roughly and sloppily. Chilchuck felt Laios’ sack pull up and Laios thrust forward, fucking into his fist as he came. Laios bit into the pillow to gag himself, drooling and crying, half-calling for Chil, or Daddy, or anything, really. Once he’d wrung Laios out, Chilchuck pulled back and rutted against his ass until he finished along the bowed curve of his spine with a grunt, having to bite his tongue to keep from being too loud himself. Laios gasped at the sensation of his Daddy’s cum striping his back, and as if on cue, relaxed out of his awkward posture into a sprawl. Chilchuck flopped on top of him, not minding the mess smeared between them. They both toppled over onto their sides; Chilchuck’s arms stayed wrapped around Laios’ ribs, not caring that one of his arms immediately began to die, pinned under Laios’ bulky torso. He kissed Laios’ shoulders; though he had spots in his eyes from breathing through the pillow, Laios’ breath caught again.

“Sorry,” Laios blurted out. “That was, uh…”

“Hey,” Chilchuck snorted. “I got off too, didn’t I?”

Laios smiled. Chilchuck couldn’t see it, but Laios grabbed for one of his hands, and their fingers interlaced.  Chil nuzzled into the crook of Laios’ shoulder and inhaled.

“Thank you,” Laios blurted out again, unable to leave a comfortable silence comfortable. “For letting me tag along. It was… really nice.”

“Don’t mention it,” Chilchuck said, and kissed the latch of Laios’ jaw. “I was hoping you’d get to meet them. I was just… gun-shy. It’s not you, it’s—”

“I know,” Laios squeezed Chilchuck’s fingers. “You wanted to be sure.”

Chilchuck nuzzled into the buzzed hair at the nape of Laios’ neck, shut his eyes, let out a long-held breath.

“I’m sure now,” Chilchuck whispered. Laios turned to lay on his back, dumbstruck.

“Yeah?” Laios breathed.

“Yeah.” Chilchuck sat up; Laios reluctantly levered his top half off Chilchuck's arm to release him. Chilchuck snatched a box of tissues off the bedside table, giving himself and Laios a quick wipe down before he kicked his pants and boxers all the way off, slipping into a new pair of shorts and another stolen t-shirt.

“How many of those do you have?” Laios asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Chilchuck snickered. “You’re the one leaving them here. Clearly you don’t need them.” Laios grabbed Chilchuck by the back of the collar and yanked.

When Laios awoke the following morning, Chilchuck was no longer in bed with him. He dimly recalled falling asleep with his face firmly nuzzled into Chilchuck’s chest and was impressed that he managed to wriggle out from Laios’ koala grip without waking him. He did feel a little put out, but when he pulled on some clothes and headed to the bathroom, he found the whole Tims family up and chatting around the tree. Flertom and Puckpatti were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but Meijack looked ready to knock back out, a black hoodie pulled tight around her face to keep her ears warm. Chilchuck looked… happy. Rare at this time of day.

“Oh, I heard him!” Fler whisper-shouted.

“Give him a minute, honey,” Chilchuck laughed. “Let him wake up, first.”

Laios tiptoed through the hall to take care of business, confused as to why Chilchuck would get out of bed at 11 AM on a holiday weekend. When he cautiously stepped into the doorway, mistletoe once again slapping his forehead, Flertom jumped up and hailed him with a blisteringly loud “Merry Christmas!” Laios startled a bit. Puckpatti chimed in at a more reasonable indoor-voice volume, while Meijack just held up a mug of what smelled like black coffee before taking a sip.

“Hey, are you supposed to have that?” Laios asked hoarsely.

“Lay off of her, it’s Christmas,” Chilchuck said, flapping his wrist.

“But you said—”

“I know what I said. It’s Christmas.”

He stood on his toes and pulled Laios’ shoulder down to kiss him on the cheek. Flertom wolf-whistled. “It’s Christmas!” Chilchuck barked at her, and Flertom burst into giggles. Laios goggled at Chilchuck, confused. Chilchuck flicked the sprig of mistletoe, watching it smack into his face with a grin.

“Did you guys not do the mistletoe thing?” Chilchuck asked, a soft upturn to his voice.

“What mistletoe thing?” Laios sputtered.

“Guess not. Well, you kiss people under that thing. That’s what you do.” Chilchuck jazzed with his free hand. “Merry Christmas.”

“You kiss anyone?”

“No, that would be weird,” Meijack said.

“So just some people,” Laios said, not following.

“People you wanna kiss, I guess,” Chilchuck muttered, cheeks red. “It’s not rocket science.”

“I’m just trying to respect the customs!” Laios held up his hands in defense. Chilchuck softened up.

“Alright. Sit down, then. The girls have something for you.”

Laios gave Chilchuck a puzzled look but didn’t question the order. He took a seat on the couch.

“Hey, uh, just to clarify, I don’t—have anything,” Laios said in a rush. Flertom blew a raspberry.

“Big whoop,” she said, throwing up her arms. “Dad told us he double-booked, so we know you weren’t prepared to meet us. No hard feelings!”

“It’s better to give than to receive,” Puckpatti recited. Chilchuck shot her a stealthy thumbs up. “And I was gonna draw you this anyway.”

Puckpatti flung herself onto the couch and presented Laios with a slightly crumpled sheet of white construction paper. There was a monster drawn on it, with three heads and mismatched limbs.

“No way,” Laios croaked. “You’re… really good with colored pencils.”

“Thank you!” Puckpatti beamed. The linework was, indeed, impressive for a nine-year-old, with realistic weighting around the muscle and foreshortening on the outstretched wings. The claws were a little crooked, but Laios wasn’t going to complain about gift art. She’d put a lot of effort into posing all the heads to be visible and making the textures of the wings distinct. It was remarkably accurate to Laios’ mental image of the beast, down to the patterning of the legs and the unusual central head, itself a chimera.

“This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know what to say.” Laios smoothed out the corners of the paper, handling it like spun glass. Chilchuck sat on the back of the sofa, sipped his coffee and grinned.

“Hey!” Flertom whined. “You haven’t even seen my thing yet!”

“Oh, f—s-sorry.” Flertom thrust a gift into his hands, clearly a mug from how immaculately it had been wrapped, preserving its silhouette. “No clue what this is,” he managed, and Flertom laughed, so the guilt was assuaged. He unwrapped the gift, and there was the mug.

“Ooh. Trippy.” It sported a colorful, wobbling pattern in psychedelic colors. Gold striping wrapped around the top and bottom, lined with coinlike ridges. What appeared at first to be some sort of abstract tessellation pattern on the face of the mug revealed small details on closer viewing, little snaggle toothed grins and horns and spaded tails. “There’s… little dragons in the pattern? Holy—crap.”

“Bingo!” Flertom beamed. “Puck told me you liked ‘em. Weird for a grown-up, but I don’t judge.”

“You just judged, Fler,” Meijack grumped.

“How did you make this so fast?” Laios marveled. “There are so many little details…”

“I just block out the colors really quick and kinda freehand the lines. Don’t look too closely! It looks perfect if you squint, but…”

“It’s cooler that way,” Laios said. “Gives it character.”

Flertom preened a little, pleased with his reaction. Meijack unfolded her legs, stood from the recliner, shuffled over and handed Laios a Shakey’s gift card with a folded sheet of paper taped to it.

“Sorry,” she said. “Mine isn’t as cool, but you said you liked the pizza, so I grabbed this while you were ordering every smoothie on Earth.”

Laios blinked, the combination of signals he’d just been sent frying his antenna. “Oh!” He grinned sheepishly. “Right… I do like the pizza there, thank you. This card won’t last long…” Laios’ eyebrows raised. “How did you know I was going to stay the night?”

Meijack snorted. “You’re not subtle. Also, I felt bad for you. I was gonna have Dad give it to you instead, but then my sisters dragged me into this.”

Laios refocused on the attached sheet of paper instead of acknowledging that. There was what looked like a username and a string of numbers and letters he vaguely recognized the format of.

“What’s this?”

“Steam username and Switch friend code. I know you work a lot, but if you ever have some time to kill, I can teach you how to suck less at video games.”

“Mei…” Chilchuck warned, but Laios laughed it off.

“I could use that. Thanks.” Laios couldn’t imagine a universe where a girl like Meijack would entertain playing video games with her divorced father’s boyfriend, but he was never the best at reading people while they were upright and conscious. “Sounds fun.”

Meijack smiled. “I’m going back to bed now.”

“Wow, that coffee did nothing to you?” Chilchuck asked. Meijack shook her head, disappointed. “How much have you been drinking without me knowing?”

“It’s Christmas, Dad. Shh.” Mei slipped back into her room and wiggled her fingers mystically at him as she closed the door.

“Mei—augh, whatever! Fine.”

Chilchuck swung his legs over the back of the couch and dropped in on the free seat beside Laios. He spilled a little coffee on the skirt of his plaid robe, but he played it casual. Laios was staring at his gifts of the magi, overwhelmed with emotion.

“Did you put them up to this?” Laios asked Chilchuck. “It’s still nice either way, I just—”

“Eh, little bit,” Chilchuck confessed, finishing off the last of the coffee he hadn’t spilled.

“We asked if you were gonna stay for the holiday, but Daddy told us you worked tonight and on Christmas,” Puckpatti said. “And that blows!”

“Puck.”

“It does!” Puckpatti insisted, smacking her hands on the couch cushion.

“It’s not that bad,” Laios shrugged. “I asked to do it. I like to help people, even on holidays.”

“But we still thought it was lame that you had to miss Christmas, so we thought we’d have it a little early for you!” Flertom chirped. “And because we’re sooo generous, Dad might see fit to let us open ours-”

“No,” Chilchuck said flatly. “Christmas Day. Final answer.” Flertom groaned. “You’re welcome, dear!”

“Thank you, Dad,” Flertom sighed. “But we’re still doing French toast breakfast, right?”

“Yes,” Chilchuck said flatly. “Yes,” Puck and Fler said together.

“We’re leaving some for your sister, though,” Chilchuck clarified. “And for Laios to take.”

Laios opened his mouth to say oh, can’t I just eat it here? But then he remembered that there was a two-hour commute from Chilchuck’s place, and he had to stop for gas on the way, and probably some more energy drinks because holidays had a way of stringing together back-to-back calls even in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere, and he was pretty sure he left his wallet and keycard at home. The way Chilchuck looked at him said he knew that, too. An arm came around Laios’ shoulder and squeezed.

“I’m gonna get started on cracking the eggs,” Puckpatti said, and Chilchuck instinctively startled and jerked as if to jump to his feet, then gave it up. It’s Christmas, he thought, and decided to leave it to Fler to keep egg yolks off his clean floor.

Laios turned the mug in his hands. “Thanks again for having me,” he said, and he sounded small enough that Chilchuck felt his throat clench. “It was a nice change from the usual.”

“I bet,” Chilchuck said, patting Laios on the back. “You’re welcome back next year, if you want.” Chilchuck smiled wearily. “I’m sure you’ve racked up enough good boy hours that you can take a holiday. And they aren’t getting me to do that godforsaken shift.”

“Yeah?” Laios said, head lifting. “I’ll, uh, have to figure out what to get them, I guess.”

“I can help with that,” Chilchuck said. “Though sometimes I’m clueless too. I think I got a handle on it this year, but—ah, you get it.”

Laios sat back, Chilchuck’s arm still slung around his shoulder. He put the mug safely on the coffee table and looked at the picture Puckpatti had drawn for him, once again amazed by the faithfulness to his design.

“Hey, did you show Puckpatti a reference image to make this?” Laios asked. “I know my description was riveting, but this is crazy good. Super accurate.”

“Right?” Chil beamed. “She loves drawing animals. And dragons, of course. I had the one you sent me, but she, uh, prefers a 3D model to draw from… helps her picture it better, I guess?”

Laios tilted his head. Chilchuck sighed, dug into his robe pocket and slapped something soft into Laios’ chest.

“Chilchuck.”

“Hm?”

“What is this.”

“You tell me, bud.”

It was a plushie. It was hand-sewn, it had to be, because it had three heads (each sporting a bow) and mismatched limbs. Each head had a differently-colored set of button eyes, and the one in the center had little sparkly horns and a mane of yellow yarn. Each paw had a different pattern and shape, just like the reference image, if simplified to an endearingly cartoonish degree. He’d even made a little beanbag snake to attach to the tail.

“It’s my—my guy! You—how did you do this so fast? Are you guys all wizards or something?”

“It took me two months,” Chilchuck grumbled, scratching his chin. “I started after you showed me the damn thing. Make up a guy with less heads next time, will ya?”

Laios put down the picture and the plush as though he were charged with lowering a Faberge egg into a display case, and then turned and pounced. Chilchuck squawked and nearly pitched over the arm of the couch, but he didn’t swat or kick at him or even try to push. Laios settled on top of him, face tucked into his chest, and Chilchuck wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

“No,” Laios giggled.

“Fine. Then the next one’s gonna be really ugly. Like, unrecognizable. Disgusting.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Chilchuck grunted and kissed Laios’ forehead. As Chilchuck settled into a position that hurt his back less, Laios shifted to lay more comfortably against him, loathe to make the most of the time he still had left in the morning.

From the kitchen came the distinct and familiar sound of an entire carton of eggs hitting the ground. Chilchuck didn’t move a muscle.

“Daaad!”

“No.” Chilchuck closed his eyes and feathered his fingers through Laios’ hair. “It’s Christmas.”