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“What the fuck,” Nico deadpanned as she stared at the strange scene in front of her. All Nico wanted to do was escape the blossoming garden of lilies in her class and go to the clubroom, where she could mope in silence about her singleness and use the internet for a bit. She certainly hadn’t expected to see red paint smeared all over the walls, the cabinets and the floor. Neither had she expected to see Honoka and Maki caked in the red paint and wrestling with each other.
Maki let out a high-pitched scream and launched herself at Honoka feet-first, succeeding in knocking Honoka a distance away. Honoka quickly recovered, getting back on her feet and dashing towards Maki, pinning her against the cabinet. Nico almost fainted. Her idol tapestries were going to be ruined!
“Nico-chan! Over here, nya!” Nico suddenly heard someone yell from beside her. Turning her head, Nico saw a few chairs set up, and Rin and Hanayo sitting on them, cheering the wrestlers on. Rin was yelling into a speakerphone, and Hanayo was simply watching on, eyes gleaming in excitement.
“Don’t worry, Nico-chan,” Hanayo said reassuringly, patting Nico on the back after noticing how pale Nico had suddenly gotten. “I put all your idol merchandise away before they started.” Maki reached behind her and hoisted a huge DVD set above her head, before throwing it at Honoka, warding her away. The DVD set landed with a loud crash on the floor, as Honoka easily dodged the attack. Hanayo winced. “Oops, maybe I missed a few.”
Meanwhile, Nico was trying and failing to make sense of the situation she was involved in. “What the fuck is going on?” she whispered incredulously. Okay, let’s start from the beginning. Honoka. Maki. Red paint - what was the paint anyway? It sure didn’t smell like paint. Against her better judgment, Nico swiped a bit of the red paint off the wall with her finger and licked it. Ugh, the red paint was tomato ketchup! Okay, so, Honoka and Maki mud-wrestling, but instead of mud, tomato ketchup.
She wasn’t getting anywhere thinking about it rationally,
“What the fuck is this, some sort of bizarre foreplay?” Nico said, grimacing. She’d walked in on Honoka and Maki several times before, including one memorable incident when Honoka wore a sexy tomato costume, but this was… this was way more than whatever she’d expected.
“It’s not what it looks like, Nico-chan, nya!” Rin yelled. “Honoka-chan and Maki-chan are training for the Love Live! Wrestling makes them stronger! And wrestling with tomato ketchup makes their power double!”
“Wait, they told you what they were going to do? Why the hell didn’t you -” Nico stopped herself. Rin wasn’t one to listen to reason, and Hanayo probably did it for shits and giggles, so it wasn’t surprising that the two first years got dragged into helping Honoka and Maki set up the room.
Suddenly, the room went silent. Honoka and Maki had stopped making those strange war cries, and things weren’t being thrown all over the place now, but instead they were tearing off each others’ clothes and making out on the floor.
“Oh god, it IS some sort of bizarre foreplay.” Nico groaned, getting up from her seat. “I’m out of here to get some brain bleach and forget today ever happened.”
Two years later, Nico still wonders if she’d imagined the events of that day in a fever dream.