Chapter Text
“Is she really asleep?” Joker asked with complete bafflement, as he studied the sleeping woman in the bed, who was still in the process of being stitched back up after the difficult birth. “I know she must be tired and all, but that’s a really odd thing to sleep through.”
“I gave her something for the pain” the doctor explained quietly as not to wake her, with his eyes still glued to the task at hand. “This is likely the first time she’s been comfortable in a while.”
“You’re probably right,” Joker grinned humorously, before returning his eyes to the other sleeping being, that still lay contently on his chest. “What’s this one’s excuse, then?”
“It’s a tiering experience for both of them,” Mrs Dalles smiled from her chair, keeping a close eye on the two men, in case she is needed to assist and lend a hand. “She's probably been awake just as long as you and Harley, not to mention she also got stuck along the way.”
Joker just hummed in acknowledgement as he continued to watch her. Now that things had finally settled down, he could reluctantly feel his own eyes suddenly growing heavy, desperate for sleep after not being properly granted it, all night. He may have been able to dose off every now and again, during the waiting period that led up the active labour, but for no longer than fifteen minutes at a time.
Joker tried to keep his eyes focused, surprised that not even the strange being atop him was enough to keep him too uncomfortable to fall asleep. He was still unnerved by its existence, of course, having never held something so small and fragile before, let alone the fact that this such creature, was made from his DNA.
He could crush it so easily, he then realised as he observed her sleeping form, in fact, it was essentially in his nature to do so. It clearly trusted him, and that was normally more than enough reason to betray it, yet he didn’t want to, and that disturbed him. It was ironic that this child was even here to begin with, he is someone who has a habit of removing life from this world, not bringing life into it. He may not have done the majority of the work, but he still initiated it, and supported Harley throughout its formation. He had aided in bringing it into this world and was afraid of harming it. He, The Joker, was afraid of causing his child any harm.
He felt unsettled by even looking at her, knowing that this child was actually his own, and not just some random object, or animal, it was alive and very much his. He could tell that it was alive by the way its body twitched, and rose and fell in breathing. His mind still struggled to come to terms with the fact that this creature, was the same thing that had lived inside of Harley for the past nine months, and the same thing that had partook in poking wars with him. He could no longer identify it as nothing but a lump in Harley’s stomach, instead, it was now a person who shared his blood.
He had never known what it was like to have a relative, who shared genetic similarities to him. The closest he had was Harley and Batman, but now he actually had someone else who could easily outrank them. If it wasn’t for the child’s distinctive features, perhaps he wouldn’t be so sure of this possibility, it wasn’t just comprised of his blood after all, but as it was, he couldn’t exactly argue with the chances. He wanted to study her closer, and try to see what she had exactly inherited from them both, but due to the positioning, and how scrunched the child’s face currently was, he knew that such a thing wasn’t possible, just yet.
The other aspect that kept him on guard, was the knowledge of it being asleep. Harley had slept with her head on his chest many times over, but ha had never had anyone else. Aside from now having another living being so comfortable with him, to the point that they were happy to fall asleep, this particular type of living being, was known to make a very unpleasant noise once disturbed. This alone, was enough to make him extremely cautious in holding her. Although it would appear to others that he was doing this for her benefit, he just didn’t want to be subjected to her crying. She was essentially a ticking time bomb, in his eyes, and as amusing as he found it, his tentative approach was very much, warranted.
“Would you like me take her?” Mrs Dalles lightly offered as she noticed his drowsy, yet uncertain demeanour. “I’m sure you’d like a moment to sleep.”
Joker contemplated her suggestion for a serious moment. “If you move her, is she gonna make a fuss?” he finally asked, despite already knowing the answer. Joker even found the shift in pronouns strange to come to terms with, after realising that his mind momentarily paused after speaking it. He had known the creature as ‘it’ for so long, that it almost felt wrong to call it anything else, and he hadn’t even used her actual name yet.
The older woman studied him with hesitance. “More than likely.”
“Then I’ll leave her where she is for now, I don’t want her waking Harley, anyway” he spoke, aware that such a statement suggested that he still had more emotional attachment to Harley, than this new life in his arms. “Hopefully I don’t drop her if I do dose off,” he then chuckled.
“Co-sleeping isn’t normally recommended” the Doctor added, as he finished up his work and covered Harley with the bedsheets, receiving no more than I murmur from the woman. “But she should be fine on your chest, as long as you’re mindful.”
“Don’t worry,” Joker grinned. “I’m a light sleeper.”
The two shared subtly uneasy looks before then quietly exiting the room, to let them rest in peace. Joker found their hesitance rather amusing to see, he wondered if they were only now realising who they were leaving an entirely helpless being with. He is probably the last person that anyone would want to leave responsible, for a new born baby. Jokers mind only remained focused on such a premise for just a moment longer, until he reluctantly fell into a soft sleep.
……
Joker’s face twitched into semi-alertness, as he suddenly felt the child begin to squirm in his hold. Opening up his still tired eyes, he then gazed down at her, curiously wondering if she was waking up. His speculation appeared to be accurate, due to the level of movement that she was performing. Unfortunately, this didn't seem to be the only thing that the baby was keen to do, because she soon began to make a series of soft whimpers, that inevitably progressed into the loud, croaky, newborn cry.
“Okay, okay” he winced from the pitch, as he finally leant forward and held her out, away from him in mild disgust. The blanket fell away from the pair in the move, allowing the exposed child to now freely flail her arms and legs around, in the air.
“What’s goin on?” Harley murmured sleepily, now also being roused from her slumber, just as Mrs Dalles briskly entered the room at the commotion.
“I think someone is stinky” Joker theorised, as he gave the being a slight sniff from where he was. “Here ya go, Mrs D, you can take her back now,” he urged.
“Why can’t you change her?” Harley frowned, watching as the older woman accepted the child, while he continued to get it as far away from him as possible.
“I ain’t quite ready for that yet” he argued stubbornly, fearing that he’d only hurt her and that he was still unsettled by the child’s overall presence. “Plus, I’ve already acted as the kid’s bed for the last hour or more, so give me a break.”
Harley scoffed at such a silly reason, and even though Joker wanted to get the baby completely away from him, Mrs Dalles only laid her down in the medical bassinet that sat between her parents.
Choosing to ignore him, Harley then smiled at where her child was placed, suddenly remembering how she foretold this exact moment, when they first entered this very room. She was so nervous at the time, but now, she couldn’t have been happier to see it finally being filled.
Mrs Dalles was about to begin the process of changing her, but the moment that the crying baby was placed in the cot, she quickly took use of the new found space given and performed a large stretch, an action that she was never fully able to achieve, while still in the womb. Once satisfied, she then proceeded to relentlessly kick her scrawny legs out in a violent manner.
Joker chuckled at the sight. “Well, if I wasn’t already convinced that this was the same creature that kicked ya so much while inside, then I definitely am now.”
“Now ya get why it hurt so much,” Harley laughed along with him.
The child continued to cry and wail out as Mrs Dalles fought to keep her legs still, while she worked at replacing her nappy with a fresh one. “I know you’re uncomfortable, little one” she soothed. “But I can’t help you, unless you let me.”
“Yeah, I’m glad that I made you do this and not me, Mrs D” Joker giggled, leaning contently back in his chair as he enjoyed the spectacle. “I told ya the real thing moves more than that doll, Harley.”
“Yeah, I know that, but I didn’t think this much,” she defended, also observing the scene before her.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” Mrs Dalles reassured. “We should probably put her in some clothes” she then mused, once successfully fitting the child with the clean object. With that being said, she then miraculously pulled out mentioned item from a nearby pocket, like a magician would a handkerchief.
“Awe, that’s cute” Harley gushed, as she eyed the purple, leg and sleeveless onesie with white stars printed across it.
“Well, there’s a lot more where that came from” she smirked, now dressing the screaming infant in the garment, who acted without co-operation to the task. “I put them away in her dresser, while you were all sleeping.”
“How come she’s still complaining?” Joker queried loudly with his fingers lodged in his ears, attempting drown her out.
“She’s probably hungry” Mrs Dalles offered with nonchalance. “Harley, would you like to try breastfeeding?”
“Yes!” she agreed eagerly, now trying to wriggle her way up into a sitting position, letting out a series of painful winces and groans as she did so.
“Be careful, dear” she told her gently, now approaching with the restless baby.
After handing her over to her mother, it took Harley a few attempts for her to get the squirming infant to latch on correctly, with the aid of Mrs Dalles’s words of guidance, but eventually the baby soon began to feed, and therefore, instantly stop fussing.
“Oh wow, this feels really weird” Harley commented as she watched her child suckle away at her chest.
The older woman chuckled adoringly at that, while she returned to her seat. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Either that or she’ll rip your nipple off,” Joker giggled, receiving a quick scowl from his companion.
“How are things going in here?” Dr Wilson began in greeting as he entered into the room with a clipboard. “Ah, I see you’ve managed to feed her, that’s great news” he then praised the new mother. "Most never succeed on the first try."
“Thanks,” she smiled. “My body still burns a little, but I guess no amount of pain meds can completely fix a torn coochy, all I have is this little one to keep me focused,” she then cooed down at her child, regardless of her level of pain.
“Yes” the man drew out slowly with sympathy in his tone. “Just try not to move or pull on the stitches too much. Now, on the topic of the child, there is still a matter that I need to discuss with you two.”
Joker raised a brow. “Oh, and what might that be?”
“The birth certificate” he explained, gesturing towards his clipboard. “Specifically her middle and last name. If you want to give her a middle name, that is."
Harley pondered his query for a moment. “I don’t think she needs a middle name, her first name does have two parts, anyway.”
Joker merely shrugged with indifference, not really interested in such details and would much rather just go back to sleep. “And as for her last name, you can just put down Quinzel.”
“Wait, no!” the woman quickly refused, before the Doctor even had a chance to look at the paper. “I don’t want her to be a Quinzel.”
“What do ya mean you don’t want her to be a Quinzel?” Joker demanded. “You’re the only one actually with a last name.”
Harley frowned at his question. “I didn’t marry ya for nothin, ya know. I want her to be under your name, plus, the Quinzel name is awful, and I don’t want her to be associated with my crappy past. And ya do technically have a last name.”
The man scrunched his face out of confusion. “Since when?”
“Since always,” she explained as it if was obvious. “It may not be your real last name, but it’s as close as we’re gonna get.”
Joker narrowed his eyes at her clue. “Are you suggesting we make her a Napier?”
“Yes!” she beamed. “April Napier, sounds a lot better than April Quinzel, and besides, I doubt she’s ever gonna use it, she’s just Aprilfool.”
Joker rolled his eyes but didn’t bother arguing further, due to his lack of interest. “Alright, fine.”
“Thank you.”
Happy with the information provided, Dr Wilson then began to write down his findings, just in time for the baby to start squirming in Harley’s arms once more, clearly done with her meal.
“Are ya done, little one?” Harley cooed. “Alright, let’s try and burp ya.”
Mrs Dalles was tempted to voice her guidance, yet again on what to do, but remained quiet at the mother’s confidence.
“We’ll leave you three alone for a little while longer,” the Doctor spoke. “But we really need to get you out of that bed and cleaned up.”
“Can I have a shower?” she quickly asked, sitting the baby up in her lap and positioning her chest against her palm.
Joker chuckled at her eagerness, but completely understood why she would want such a thing.
“If you are able to make it there, then sure” he nodded. “But no soap, and don’t touch the stitches. I’d also recommend that someone stays in the room with you, to help you in and out of the shower, not to mention, I don’t want you getting lightheaded and falling.”
Harley grumbled in reluctance towards his conditions, as she began gently patting the infants back. “Fine.”
“Ya really think ya can walk up two flights of stairs to the bathroom?” Joker finally asked once the other two had left.
“I don’t wanna stay down here all day, plus, you can always carry me” she then beamed with excitement.
His face quickly dropped at that. “Have I not done enough for you, already?”
Harley paused her own joy at his strict tone, suddenly being reminded of the extent of his rare kindness during the night. “I guess,” she sighed regretfully. “Thank you for that, I don’t think I would have been able to do that without ya here. Ya put your studies on hold, stayed up with, never left me, held my hand, ignored how much I yelled at ya, and was just all around supportive and comfortin, and for that I really am, truly grateful.”
“You’re very welcome,” he smiled softly. “Was she worth all that pain and suffering ya went through?”
“Oh, definitely” she nodded eagerly without even needing to contemplate it.
“Good, I always told ya, you could do it.”
“But let’s never do it, okay?” she stated firmly with a humorous smile.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he happily agreed.
Harley then realised that the baby had yet to make a sound, despite her efforts to burp her. “Come on, little one, give me a good sound.”
The child just continued to stare off with absent intent in Jokers direction, blatantly oblivious to what was needed of her.
Joker also studied her as her pigmentless eyes drifted about the room. “Why so serious?” he attempted to coo, once obtaining her emotionless attention, but his voice came across more patronising than anything else.
Then just when Harley was about to try another position, the infant finally let out a tiny squeak of air from her lungs, before quickly following it with her first gurgling smile.
Jokers face twitched at the sight of his child’s first act of happiness, instantly feeling something unfamiliar, stir deep in his chest. Her mother on the other hand, just laughed joyously, clearly embracing the same sensation. Unable to hold it back, he soon joined her in the blissful moment with a chuckle.
“Aw!” Harley gushed. “Is that better?”
The baby only continued to murmur happily in response as she was then laid down in her mother’s lap, facing them both. “You really are the cutest little thing. Come over her, Jay, and look at her.”
Neither of them had been able to get a proper good look at the child, until this point, so the man wasted no time in eagerly pulling his chair closer, to do just what he had wanted to do earlier, while she was sleeping on him. Unfortunately, upon inspection, there still wasn’t many defining features about her, aside from the obvious colouring. She looked just like any other newborn, due to how scrunched and wrinkly she was, but there was still one thing that Joker did feel intrigued by, and that was her smile.
“Is she adorable to ya yet?” Harley giggled, as they stared down at the wriggling child, who waved her limbs around without any thought.
“Okay, when she looks at me like that, I suppose so” he reluctantly admitted, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get away with saying anything else, in such a moment.
“I still can’t believe that we’re now parents,” she enthused. “This tiny human is ours! We made this!”
“Yeah” he agreed softly, happily accepting credit. “It’s funny that we’ve had to see her, to know it.”
Harley smiled over at him lovingly. “I thought that this might be the case though.”
“Well, she was nothing but a fidgeting bulge in your stomach for almost a year, so it’s hard to now see her as anything else.”
She just hummed in acknowledgment, continuing to adore the infant as she stared up at the two of them in similar curiosity.
“Are ya disappointed that we didn’t have a boy?” Harley then asked after a short pause, as she caressed the baby’s tiny hand when it gripped her little finger.
The man snorted at that. “Harley, the only reason I favoured a boy over a girl was because I wanted it to look like me,” Joker then gestured to the child. “I think ya can see why that’s no longer an issue.”
“Point taken,” she laughed. “I still can’t believe that you were right about that, when we were talkin about what features she could have, you were jokin about the chances of her havin green hair and white skin, yet here we are. Did ya know that it was real possibility?”
“Not at the time, no, but it does make sense. I have no idea how, but my little acid dip clearly messed with my genes, seeing as my hair grows green and my skin sheds white. But either way, it's still very amusing that she looks the way that we least expected.”
Harley smiled. “Yeah, I know.”
“Now it’s my turn, are you disappointed that she doesn’t look like a typical child?”
“Well, I can’t exactly go takin her for a stroll in the park, or anywhere out in public, but I’m sure I’ll figure somethin out,” she giggled. Regardless of her humorous tone, there was a painful truth to Joker’s question. She had never given the child’s appearance much thought before, or the various activities that they wouldn’t be able to partake in for that matter.
That being said, she had at least expected to get to venture out into Gotham with her, even if it’s only to go grocery shopping. When Harley's not wearing her signature two toned outfits, she's able to fully blend into society, unrecognised. She has to wear a wig these days, due to her current dye style, but even then, she still passes as anyone else. This child, however, would be a lot harder to camouflage. If Joker wanted to blend in, he has to completely cover any visible skin in foundation, on top of wearing a wig as well, they couldn't exactly do that with a baby.
“How could I not love her, though?" Harley then continued, shaking the thoughts from her mind. "She’s just so cute, I could just smoosh her little face” she swooned, affectionately stroking the baby's softly skin.
Joker shook his head with an air of amusement. “Do ya really think it would’ve been a good idea to take her out?”
“Why not?” she shrugged.
“What if someone recognises you?” he tested.
“It’s not happened yet, ya know how good I can be at blendin in” she boasted with pride, before her voice dropped back down into subtle displeasure. “But now I have no choice but to keep her at home, when she looks like this. How am I gonna be able to go food shoppin, if I can’t take her with me? Leave her with you?” she then asked as if the idea with ridiculous.
Although the suggestion alone was enough to cause a bout of sudden anxiety in the man, he didn’t appreciate her tone. “Why do ya say that like it’s a bad thing?” he giggled. “Ya know, if ya didn’t think ya can trust me with her, then why did ya have her with me?”
“No, I don’t mean it like that” she defended. “I just didn’t think you’d want me to leave her with you, ya haven’t even touched her this whole time, that we’ve been sat here, starin at her. Not to mention, ya made Mrs Dalles change her, when you could have done it. And I’m not tryin to have a go at ya, I just don’t think you’re comfortable with her, or want to engage with her too her much.”
“Says the person who hasn’t even referred to her by her name yet,” he commented flatly. “So, you just never planned to leave me alone with her?”
“Do ya want me to leave you alone with her?” she countered with a laugh.
“Not particularly, but I’m getting the impression that you don’t even want to, either.”
Harley just shook her head and returned her attention to the child, clearly not wanting to get into an argument over this. “I’d happily leave you alone with her, and I’ll probably have to at some point, even if it’s just to get groceries, so don’t you worry.”
Joker scoffed. “I never worry.”
The woman smirked over at him, with challenging intent. “We shall see.”