Chapter Text
The Box strikes yet again!
In today’s episode, Yahweh (God) comes on to take a stroll to see who the fuck is using His box this time around since He notices it rattling around so Him-damn much. . .
. . .only to open up and absolutely not be surprised that it’s His naughty brat of a child once again (Archangel Michael) with his wife (Archangel Lucifer) whipping it up in the cosmic kitchen.
“You know other creatures like using The Box too, right?”
Yahweh would begin, arc a blonde brow. Upon opening the lid this round, the set-up emulated a stereotypical living room in the modern era we humans call “the 2020s,” which is to say it looked like an apartment-style living situation with a flat screen TV and a couple of gaming consoles tucked beneath the stand. On the screen was Lucifer, the TV show inspired by the comic, thusly inspired by Good Omens. “Like for the love of Me, learn to share!”
And the duo just look up from their spot on the couch, Lucifer on a laptop as he’s typing his ass off with Michael hissing in his ear precisely the way it all needs to go down.
“Listen, Father,” Lucifer shoots his mouth off first again as he’s prone to doing, “If these trinkets want a chance, they’d better go get their own box ‘cus we aren’t sharing at this point!”
“Yes, it’s an equal opportunity to do what we are doing so if they want to scrap about it, tell them to form a line.” Michael follows up, smiles real cool like the sassy bastard he also is.
Yahweh just rolls His eyes back something fierce before shooting a massive, shit-eating grin. As He’s said before and will say again, the point of being God is just being yourself, mad parts and all,
A fact these two have now gotten so well that they are starting to hoard The Box for themselves. That’s why in the end, He just gives a big ol’ thumbs up. “Just remember, boys, you have created expectations now amongst your work, so don’t pull a Crowley and stray too far from your source!”
Both of them just give God the biggest ‘duh’ look in the cosmos as they point out how prompt and ‘with it’ they are on all fronts, so what’s one more in the cauldron, eh?
“I don’t know what to do with you two.”
Yet here Yahweh goes once more, dropping the fat lid that is The Box over Michael and Lucifer as they strike out yet another cocaine-fueled fantasy. Let’s see where this one takes us . . .