Chapter Text
The pan of bacon sizzled to life on the stove before me as I hummed softly to myself, my hips swaying to the beat of a song I had long since memorized. It feels like only yesterday when I had first heard it's completed version; a tender toon, but one crafted through blood, sweat, and tears of its maker. A song that bound my soul to a like-minded one, one whom I dared not dream of being without; an undisputed mark of achievement and pride, if you will, etched into our shared past.
I smile to myself as I fondly remember the night at prom when Fang gave the performance of a lifetime for the school, absolutely flooring everyone who was expecting the worst from her. Seeing all their surprised faces along with the infuriated one from Naomi made it a memory worth keeping. Plus, how could I forget the unbelievable kiss we shared immediately following her performance. It was a ballsy move on my part, but I’m glad it paid off. A flush of heat ran across my cheeks, and it wasn't from the searing hot pan before me.
Although plenty of time has passed since graduation, I've been slowly remembering more and more of these instances from my final and only year at Volcano High. What I thought was merely an escape from ridicule and mockery at Rock Bottom turned out to be so much more. Speaking frankly, I'm exceptionally grateful that my initial plans to simply sink into the background and cruise through the year backfired as I was catapulted into what changed my life forever. It shaped me into someone I didn’t know I could become.
Funny how fate works like that sometimes.
As I continued to cook breakfast, the faint sound of plush duvets tossing and stirring behind me wormed its way into the periphery of my attention. Moments later, a loud THUNK echoed throughout the entirety of the small studio apartment. Drifting my full attention towards the source of the disturbance, I once again find myself smiling as I witness a hefty bundle of blanks on the floor next to the bed which cocooned one sleepy Pterodactyl.
I shamelessly let my smile transform into a massive shit eating grin. “Finally out of bed now that all the hard work is done, huh? And here I thought this was a team effort.”
Without skipping a beat, I'm met with a defiant clawed middle finger proffered from one end of the squirming pile on the floor. I merely chuckle to myself as I turn my concentration back to the grease trap at hand. Seeing the crisp edges of the bacon now shriveled and hardened, I declared that this last batch of delicacies was complete and removed the pan from the stove. Draining the grease, I slid the last of the procured food onto a plate making a whole breakfast sided with eggs and toast, a plate matching a similarly decorated one next to it on the counter.
Satisfied with my creations, I escorted both of the plates to the nearby compact wooden table and set them down. Taking a seat at one end and awaiting the presence of my better half, I find myself surveying the room around me like I have so many times prior. The walls of the studio apartment were of a light peach color with the curtains drawn to a single massive window filtering in unrelenting morning sunlight. One edge of the room housed a corner couch and bed while the other possessed a wall sparse of anything aside from the handful of guitars plastered about it. Even if there were no more corny band posters or edgy poetry written on the walls, some things just stayed the same as we grew older.
Intruding upon my observations, I am swiftly drawn back to my immediate vicinity as the seat opposing me is quickly filled by Fang who has since abandoned her shell of warmth, leaving it as the only form of clutter on the otherwise spotless floor. She wore a particularly and unlawfully acquired white button down shirt several sizes too big for her slender frame with black shorts hidden underneath. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for the little thief to update her collection when she first visited my place since I came back. I also took note of something soft brushing against my leg as she adjusted herself, likely a pair of her favorite green dino slippers. However, the real eye catcher, regardless of the enticing attire, came in the form of the brilliant amber necklace that hung around her neck, its smooth surface reflecting the sunlight just right to let it shine.
Fang’s own matching amber eyes scanned over the display of food laid before her with a hungry look; a look she turned towards me with a generous smile. My body reeled as if struck by a sudden unseen blow. That smile. That enamoring smile. It was the source that made all of this worth it. Not just the cooking, but returning to Volcaldera Bluffs, slugging through five years of college and the horrors that accompanied it. The proposed light at the end of a hard fought journey.
It’s been a month since the reunion was held at Volcano High, and at the time I was concerned as to what I might find. So much can happen in five years, even with still keeping in contact with everyone online. Fortunately, that concern was dispelled instantly the moment I got the chance to see everyone in person again. Disregarding the appearances and mannerisms of maturing, our friendship was just as strong as it had always been, but as nice as catching up with the gang was, the highlight of that night was seeing Fang again, a relief for my yearning heart. She too felt the same as after those in attendance were excused she, in her not so discreet fashion, lifted a bag of ambrosia and led us up to the seclusion of the rooftop. It didn’t take much for us to talk like we used to, telling stories of our time apart, and making an agreement to continue where we had left off.
Following that night in our serene private garden, Fang and I have been keeping good on our promised ‘dates’. Every morning that was manageable for us, we would meet up with location depending on our work schedules, and have breakfast together. The times were agonizingly short and we had to get up earlier than either one of us would have liked, but we made it work. This time around it was my turn to visit, but we had all the time in the world seeing as it was the weekend.
Fang took up her fork with eagerness and shoved it into the eggs. Just before it reached her beak, however, she paused. Was something wrong? I thought I cooked them the way she liked. The hesitation was brief as she then looked up at me, my reflection taking up every inch of her gaze.
“Thank you, Anon.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Of course. I mean, one of us had to cook while their host hid away back into bed. I almost feel used here.”
She rolled her eyes but quickly brought them back to me. “That's not what I meant, though admittedly I won’t deny that I did use you.” I feigned being hurt by the betrayal of trust which elicited a chuckle from Fang. “I mean for everything. You came back just like you promised, your feelings for me unchanged. I know we saw each other a couple times during your breaks at college, and we talked often over the phone. . .” Her fork made a quiet clinking sound as it was set back down onto her plate. She then scooched her chair closer to me to place a hand on mine. “But having you here and now, right by my side. That's all I could ever need to make me happy.”
Speechless, I attempted to stoically hold back tears that began to well up at the edge of my eyes as my heart melted in my chest. She was my weakness as shown with only a few heartfelt words causing me to come nearly crashing down. A warmth inside me grew, one that out shined even the bruise that blasted bollard gave me when it had attempted assassination on my sternum. I placed my other hand atop hers, encapsulating it.
“You had nothing to worry about, Fang, seeing as my place isn’t anywhere else but here. You’ve single handedly made all the hardships worth it. I’m ecstatic our break is over and we are here together again.” I place a soft kiss on her forehead. In response, Fang wraps a single silver wing around my body, using its soft downy comfort to pull me closer.
Ah, I missed this feathered blanket. Nothing could ever come close to beating it.
Fang snickered as she withdrew her body from my own, the lack of contact leaving a noticeable mark on my body. “After all this time and you still mumble? Seriously, Anon.”
I rub my bald head and groan. “Damn, and here I thought it was getting better. Seems you just bring out the worst in me.”
Fang sent a playful feathered elbow into my ribs as she returned to her meal. Content with the exchange, I too began to eat, but at a slower pace as my thoughts deviated.
Back from the break.
Fang originally proposed the idea as she couldn’t handle being in a long distance relationship, which I can understand, but also so that we could have time to think. We left with the promise of self discovery and betterment, not just for ourselves, but for each other. Despite our intent though, it’s hard to say now if anything actually came from those five years. Did anything really change between us? Should anything have changed between us? It was a stroke of luck to see how easily we connected again, but I can’t help but feel that simply hitting the resume button on our relationship isn’t enough.
I look to Fang who ate silently beside me. She seemed to be content in the moment, so why couldn’t I? There are no doubts that I love her; I would fight the world to defend that fact. It would be effortless to describe every little cute detail about her. Her habits and irritants. I could probably fill an entire library with the words of admiration and affection that I feel towards her, but what is to be done with all of that? Seeing her again after so long lit a fire inside me to act on these feelings more than I have in the past, like there is a need to continue to outdo myself each and every time I try to show how much she means to me. A tireless demand to do better, one I willfully accept the challenge of, yet I don’t know where we go from here. What path should lay before us?
These questions swarming around my head reveal something unsettling to me. That a point deep within my heart feels lost, like I am missing a crucial answer to a question I did not know. A missing piece to finalize our shared soul. I know who I am. She knows who she is, now. But. . . Who are WE? Perhaps I am overthinking things and am just anxious over nothing.
Still though.
“Hey, Dweeb!” Fang’s raised voice finally releases me from my thoughts. As I reenter reality, I take notice that her wings are spread wide in irritation to highlight the sneer she wore.
“Hm? What is it, Fang?”
“You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes and you didn’t answer when I called your name.”
“Oh, sorry. I was just lost in thought. I didn’t mean to stare.”
Now having her presence acknowledged, I could see Fang relax, wings returning to their natural resting position, though she still wore a hint of worry. “I don’t mind you staring, but your eyes were. . . Hard. Distant. Are you alright?”
I glance down at our plates. She had just a few pieces left on hers while mine remained barely touched. Seems I was out of it longer than I had realized, but those thoughts, those worries. This is something I need to figure out on my own. I cannot burden Fang with them. I don’t want to ruin our reunion and future together for her.
Looking back up towards Fang, I offer a reassuring smile. “I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind with work and all. Nothing you should concern yourself with.”
We hold eye contact for a long moment before I break away and continue eating my meal. Fang sighs before rising from her seat and bringing her plate to the sink. I finish what I can of the cooling food as I glance at my watch. Although it was the weekend, we did have plans to attend later in the day. It was a bit of a hassle to figure out, but we were finally making do on our talk of having lunch with everyone now that I had returned. We still had a couple hours till then.
Fang slung a dish towel over her shoulder as she peered over at me. “If you’re not going to finish, you can just leave it there, Anon. I'll package it up for you and you can grab it on your way home later.” Not feeling particularly peckish at the moment, I push the plate away and make to stand.
A wonderful yet devious idea crosses my mind as I approach Fang from behind. She was filling the sink with water and humming along to the tune I had been enjoying earlier. I make sure not to alert her as I wrap both my hands around her stomach and press my face into her neck. She lets out a gasp, but does not pull away. Instead, she places her own damp hands on mine and squeezes them.
“I love you, Sweet Tooth.”
I can feel her growl vibrate throughout her body at the use of the pet name, but I don’t care. It’s a sign of my affection for her and I'll continue to use it, even if she pretends to hate it.
“I love you too, Dweeb.”
Releasing her grip, Fang shimmies around to wrap her arms around my neck and presses her beak against my lips. We kiss passionately but with some restraint as we both know this could go on for far longer than either of us have time for. Regardless, a moment like this was to be savored. How did I ever get so lucky to have her?
We break with a sudden intensity as I hear a hissing curse from Fang, her hand reaching deftly behind her to slap the water off as it nearly overflows from the sink. With the moment gone, I release her fully as I take the towel from her shoulder and begin to dry the dishes as she cleans them.
After we put the remaining food away and have the dishes washed, I careened my way over to the couch and fell limp against the lavish cushions. An alleviating sensation coursed throughout my tired body as I gave no resistance to it. The material was nothing special, but without a doubt a far cry from anything I ever owned, especially in that shitty Skin Row apartment or the college dorm rooms. I wish I had something like this back at my apartment, then again, I practically lived here with how often I visited.
My eyes gazed inattentively at the ceiling as an unresolved choice reared its ugly head to me. We had seriously discussed moving in together previously, but the final verdict was put on hold due to at the time we were both still preoccupied with work and sorting our daily lives. Whether intentionally or not, Fang hasn’t brought up the topic since and I am thankful for that as I know my current ‘hesitation’ from the other considerations I was musing on would not fly over with her well.
Just another thing in the cacophony of the storm that is my thoughts.
Not too long after finding purchase on the couch, Fang joined me as she took her favorite position with her snoot resting against my chest and wiggling a wing underneath and over top of us. If the single wing blanket from before was bliss, then this is straight heaven.
“You know,” she started, a finger drawing circles on my chest. “We could always just ditch the others today and cuddle here. I wouldn’t mind.”
I chuckled at the thought. “And risk Trish busting down the door just to drag us there anyways? Thanks but no thanks. I’d rather not get on her bad side after having only just accepted that I'd have to see her on the regular again.”
Prom was more than just a time when Fang demonstrated her magnificence to all those who doubted her. It was also the place where Trish and I buried the hatchet from her doxing incident weeks prior. While we were back on speaking terms and didn’t give each other the stink eye, a part of me couldn’t help but still consider the possibility of her one day betraying that truce for a second go around at me. She was tenacious if nothing else.
Fang lifted the singular finger she was using to circle my chest and proceeded to flick me in the forehead with it. “Stop it. You’ve both proven to be on good terms, as is everyone else. Honestly, I can’t imagine the life I would be living right now if things ended up any other way than they did. Who knows, maybe I would have turned out to be a completely different person. Could you imagine me prancing around in a yellow sundress or find me covered in tattoos playing in a pizzeria in the middle of Skin Row?”
“Those are indeed some wild ideas,” I admit, neither thought really sticking with me as a possibility. “But I think we got the best deal we could hope for. I just don’t want to ruin it, you know? After all the effort and sacrifices we had to make, we deserve a peaceful end.”
“I know, but it would take a lot to ruin this, even for someone as dense and boneheaded as you.” As Fang says those words she pulls me even tighter against her.
I want to object to her point, but with my mulling from breakfast having begun to fade as her overwhelming warmth takes over my very being, I dare not. We rested together for a time, everything shut out except the acceptance of each other's company.
A perfect moment.
Fang’s head shifts slightly against me as I open my eyes to see her staring back up with her hypnotically beautiful iris’. Her sly smile tells me all that I need to know in that I just ousted myself again with my mumbling again.
“Don’t you mean almost perfect?” she asked with a regal tone.
“N-No?”
“Well I think we are missing one crucial detail.” As if to emphasize her point, she immediately removed herself from my side to stand. Once again I take notice right away of her missing presence against my body. One too many times in one day. I make a mental note to give her an iron clad bear hug the next time she tries to get away.
Fang walks with a fervent step across the polished wooden floor to the wall hanging her countless assortment of guitars. Her finger taps judgingly against the end of her snout before she approaches an older looking guitar. Her first guitar, or rather, the first guitar we ever shared together in her room. The one that shattered my old self to pieces and eternalized the point in my life where I realized I loved her.
I shifted myself upright on the couch to make room for Fang as she returned to sit beside me. My eyes glued to the instrument in her hands as she strummed a few notes before tuning the guitar. She strummed again, and when satisfied with her handiwork, plucked at the strings rhythmically.
The world around me transformed as her skilled fingers produced smooth sounds that jumped off the strings. Fang has always been the best musician I’ve ever known, but I never ceased to be amazed when she played. I think it always came down to a deep, emotional understanding that this is who she was, more than feathers and scales. She was the sounds she played, the convention of a lyricless story told only through the passionate playing of a guitar. Through this portal I could see her soul, and it was beautiful.
The room returned to silence as the lingering notes waned. It took me a few seconds to realize that her playing had stopped, but once I had, my disappointment that it was over caused me to search out Fang. She stared down at the guitar, her hands held in place. Seems this time she was the one staring off into space and I needed to bring her back.
“Fang?” I ask, wrapping an arm around her. “Is everything alright?”
She smiles but does not turn to look at me. “Sorry. I was just thinking about how much I missed playing like this.”
I rubbed her shoulder encouragingly. “What do you mean? You get to play whenever you want at home and you're a music teacher for crying out loud. Heck, you probably get to play with your students all day as well.”
She shakes her head. “I wish that were the case. I adore my job, teaching the students and showing them the wonders of music. I’ve known from a young age that music was my calling, but I never would have imagined that it would be something I wanted to share with others like this. You helped me see that gift inside myself and for that I am grateful.” She lowered the guitar but held the neck with a firm grip. “However, most of the time when I find myself playing it’s to provide instruction or direction. It is rare nowadays where I ever get to play with my heart so free. In all honesty, I don’t think I've ever actually played true music for them, a demonstration of music as more than just sounds or notes written on a page, and I often regret that.”
I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it again. Silence was the only thing needed on my part here. There is a moment to speak and a moment to listen.
“It’s like,” Fang continued, her tone becoming more distraught. “The only times I can ever feel I earnestly bring out that passion for music is when I have something I cherish right by my side.” A layer of pink covers my cheeks as Fang looks up towards me, our eyes locked. “It feels so natural when we sit here, nothing special other than each other's company. I want to share that with them, but whenever I try the feeling vanishes.”
I feel splashes of water on my leg as I see Fang tearing up next to me, a pain threatening to crush me as I do nothing but watch. I want to hug her and tell her everything will be alright, but I can’t. Like Moe wisely taught me long ago, the secret is support. I cannot solve her problems for her, only be there to help her find the answer.
Fang released the guitar as she raised quivering hands to cover her face. “I know I’ve only been in my position for a short while, but I can't help but feel I am a bad teacher because of this. Do I not care enough about my students to share this important piece of myself with them? What if I disappoint them and they never want to play music again?” The slow tears turned into a flood as she pressed her face against me. I pull my other arm over and embrace her tightly as I wait but nothing further comes from Fang aside from choked sobbing. I gently brush her hair as I rock her from side to side.
Finally, I speak. “You are not a disappointment, Lucy.”
The change in use of name seemed to jolt her as I could feel her quivering decrease marginally. Soon after graduation, she had decided to go by her real name and everyone else respected that decision, though I still ended up calling her Fang as I always had. It was the name I grew to know and love her by, not that I had anything against her real name. We came to a common understanding of this and she has been accepting of what the name means to me. It was only in the right moments, or when I truly wished to convey something to her that I ever used her real name. It was like a sign for her to listen carefully to what I was about to say.
I continued to caress her as I spoke. “I don’t know much about teaching, but what I do know is that if you are this perturbed about your students enjoying music, then you cannot be anything but an incredible teacher. Sure, maybe you can’t show them exactly what makes you love music the way you do right now, but how long did it take for you to show me that side of you? All things take time and I know that eventually if you stick with your intuition and show this much care, one day they will understand, and I'll be with you every step of the way.”
My words reached her as the dam burst and I let her drain herself of tears, our forms holding onto each other firmly. After a while, and with a thoroughly drenched shirt, Fang pulled back. I wiped away the few remaining tears and placed a finger under the end of her beak.
“I love you, my dearest Sweet Tooth.” I give her a soft kiss on the end of her snoot.
Fang sighs but returns with a smile. “You know I hate that name and yet you insist on using it.”
I return with a smile of my own. “That's because you give me just the darn cutest reactions.”
She stammers. “I-I’m not c-cute damn it, I'm sexy.” As if to emphasize this statement, Fang gently placed the previously discarded guitar against the edge of the couch and proceeded to press me back into the cushions as she got on top of me. She laid her full weight onto my lap as her hands worked to free me from my shirt. Faster than I could realize, the shirt was thrown to the floor. Not one to be outdone, I help her remove her own as it meets its fate next to mine.
We gaze into each other's craving eyes as I place a hand on the small of her back and the other against her cheek. Fang lowers herself with practiced precision against me as we once more embrace in a passionate kiss, though this time unreserved. With all emotional walls down, nothing stops us from wishing to explore each other's bodies to the fullest. At last, we remove all remaining fabric barriers and completely expose ourselves to one another both in mind and in body. We give ourselves to each other, undisturbed and sanctified.
Surely this won’t make us late for lunch with the others, right?