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"Found you."
It was raining. heavily.
But this wasn't some artificial water system, programmed to set off on assigned period of times. This was the real thing. Actual rain falling from an actual sky.
It was beautiful.
Till currently sat inside and abandoned vehicle on the surface. After spending too much time in the underground human city, he longed to see the outside. Feel the breeze blowing through his grey locks, and experience the warmth of the sun on his skin.
Of course, none of that was currently possible. But it still didn't stop him from going out anyway. He needed some time alone, to think and to reflect. Something everyone seemed against him doing for god knows why, he couldn't enjoy a minute of solitude in the past days.
It now has been almost a month since they've been rescued by the rebellion. Ever since Ivan woke up, Till has been doing nothing but nursing him diligently. Or atleast until Dewey interfered and insisted on him finding something way more productive to do. Unknown to him the "something productive" the man referred to was going out and helping around city.
That's how Till found himself doing minor labor. from displacing supplies, lifting heavy boxes for shop owners, and even helping with what he can in constructing new homes. To making little flower crowns and bracelets to the children of the city.
It was oddly fulfilling despite it being absolutely exhausting, it left him completely drained at the end of, to say the least. Yet he never failed to visit the raven haired man whenever he got back, bringing back tails and stories fed to him by the city's inhabitants. Sometimes he would just recall how his day went, what he did, and who he met. And Ivan would hang on to every word. Sometimes they would sit in a comfortable silence. And other times, rarely so, they'd find themselves with this odd tension hanging over them. An occurrence that came to be ever since that day.
Till thinks he understand. But to actually acknowledge it was a whole different story.
Which brought him back to his current problem.
Mizi opened the vehicle's door, making herself comfortable on the seat next to one he was occupying. She brushed her wet bangs away from her face, allowing those vibrant green eyes to be seen.
"Who're you trying to avoid?" She asked.
Straight to the point. Great.
He can feel her piercing gaze digging into his skull, yet he couldn't help but stare ahead. Into that rain. into the nothingness of the empty land. Into the haziness of his mind. Anything but the crushing reality the girl was trying to deliver him.
He couldn't even deny her claim, because in a way it was true. He is actively avoiding everyone, he isn't initiating interactions unless it is required. Always out of necessity but never for satisfaction.
"I'm sorry."
That got his attention. Because what could possibly mizi do to wrong him.
"We thought that maybe if you kept yourself busy, you wouldn't be stuck in your head as much." She admitted. "Of course, it wouldn't solve anything, but... I don't know."
Yeah, he thought so.
"It's fine." He muttered.
Mizi furrowed her brows, but never protested. Instead she settled for watching the storm with him in comfortable silence. The moment had a strange sense of tranquility about it, the sound of rain thumping the ground creating a symphony that puts all melodies to shame.
Was this what one would call peace?
Till thought It was pleasant.
"I don't think I liked you the way I thought I did."
Mizi was surprised by him being first to break the silence, and even more surprised by his words. But she didn't dare interrupt, urging him to continue.
"I think i liked the idea of you." He started. "You were... Nice. A concept that was so alienated to me, even more than any of those bastards out there."
"I liked how you and sua treated one another, It looked so delicate and kind. So... Safe." He lifted his hand, gently tracing the edges of his tattooed name on his neck. His gaze was staring ahead, and yet it didn't seem as if he was there with her. It was as if he was reliving the happiest memories of her life, from a different angle. A lonelier one. It made her stomach churn.
"At the time I hoped if I tried hard enough, if I did things in some kind of 'right' way, then you'll perhaps look at me with the same love you had when you looked at her. It didn't have to be reccuring, just a taste would've been fine."
"But even so, I wasn't a fool. I knew when to draw the line between what was attainable and what wasn't. So I settled for the crumbs, and i was more than delighted with watching from afar. Because you were there, and that was enough."
His hand abruptly stopped tracing his tattoo.
"Until round 5, atleast."
He dropped his hand into his lap, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. Right, he needed to pick up his new clothes from Issac later. He'll get to it after he deliver Ivan the new books he bought for him, he hopes he'll like them.
"Till..."
Shit, he really needs to stop zoning out.
His dragged his gaze back to the pink haired girl sitting next to him. Slowly registering the single tear sliding down her cheek. She was crying.
"Im sorry." She apologized, something that she did effortlessly.
"I'm sorry, If I'd known I would've-"
"Tried to look at me more. I know." He knows.
"I'm not trying to put blame on you, nor am i throwing the responsibility of my past feelings onto you. It wouldn't be fair. I just wanted you to know." He clarified.
Closure.
That's all he wants.
That's all he's willing himself to get. Not out of self satisfaction, but necessity.
He's needed. Permanently or temporarily, did not matter. He just wishes to fix enough cracks before being put to use.
He isn't sure what slipped past his veil of indifference, because an inexplicable emotion skipped past mizi's features. Till was done with the conversation.
"'its late. We need to go back." He announced. Picking himself up and opening the door of the battered vehicle.
He didn't wait for an answer, instead he made his way to the metal entrance of the city, mizi hot on his heel.
They didn't speak on their way back, but unlike before the silence was far from being comfortable. And he knew. he knew that she was far from done with him. It was only a matter of time.