Chapter Text
The thing is, he isn't even sure why he's here right now and he can't remember how he got here in the first place. He does remember thinking about this, considering it vaguely, but isn't sure when he made the conscious decision to actually come to this audition.
But now that he's here, Zayn is fucking terrified.
He stares at the door and considers bolting right this instant, but something keeps him there. Maybe it's just the fact that his knees are little weak and that he feels literally frozen to the spot, or maybe it's curiosity. That's why he's here, after all. Curiosity, and the urge to finally do something about those urges that are slowly becoming harder and harder to ignore.
He folds his hands in his lap and stares down at them, swallowing hard and willing himself to take a deep, calming breath.
Suddenly, he hears voices on the other side of the door; a loud, clear laugh and a deeper one, and feels his whole body tense when the handle is pushed down and a couple of men come into the room. One of them is tall and broad with dark hair, the other one considerably shorter and younger, and ridiculously pretty with remarkable cheekbones, perfectly sculpted hair, clear blue eyes and a wide smile. Neither of them look like what Zayn had expected to see here today and he feels himself relax just a little.
"Hi there," the younger of the two says when he spots him, approaching him with that same wide smile and holding out his hand. "I'm Louis, nice to meet you."
Zayn manages to get to his feet and shakes the offered hand, managing a shaky smile in return. "Hullo. Zayn."
Louis tilts his head, not letting go of his hand. "Relax, honey," he says with a comforting smile. "We don't bite." He pauses and raises a brow. "Unless you ask nicely."
Zayn lets out a laugh that sounds much too loud in the nearly empty room, and finally draws his hand back, wiping his sweaty palm on his trousers before shaking the other man's hand as well. He seems to be in charge; introduces himself as Simon and gestures for him and Louis to sit down on the couch. Zayn does, folding his hands in his lap again.
"So, Zayn. You're here to audition for our next project. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"
Zayn licks suddenly dry lips and glances over at Louis; despite the fact that he barely knows the other boy, his presence is comforting. He draws a breath and rubs the back of his neck. "Um. There's not much to tell," he offers, biting his lip. "My name's Zayn Malik, I'm nineteen years old and I'm a student. I…" He trails off and tugs on the collar of his jumper. "I'm sorry, I'm really nervous."
"That's all right," Simon says, giving him a smile while Louis reaches over and places a small hand on his thigh, squeezing it reassuringly.
"First time, eh? We've all been there," he says softly. "I haven't been doing this for a long time either – a couple of years, yeah?" He looks to Simon for confirmation and gets a nod in reply. "You really haven't got anything to worry about here. Simon is very serious and professional; we'll ease you into this."
"Okay," Zayn murmurs. "It's just. I've never really… I'm not… you know."
Louis looks at him quizzically before his brows shoot up. "Oh, you're not out? This is literally your first time?"
Zayn nods, feeling a flush work its way up into his cheeks and suddenly feeling stupid. But once again, it's Louis who makes him feel a little better about the whole thing. "Well, that's great, actually. You're like, a blank canvas or something."
He gives him another one of those wide smiles and Zayn gives him a small one back.
Simon, in the meantime, clears his throat. "That is highly unusual," he admits. "But not necessarily a bad thing. We may have to change your role in the film a little bit, but we can work with a virgin. Definitely. You've got that raw innocence you see so rarely in our regulars."
Louis huffs indignantly. "What, are you saying I'm not innocent?"
Simon raises a brow at him. "Seriously? You and Harry are the least innocent actors I've ever worked with."
Louis isn't offended and just laughs. "Fair enough," he says before he turns back to Zayn and smiles. "Right, shall we get to it then?"
"To what?" Zayn asks, a hint of panic in his voice when he realises that he has no idea what to even expect from this first meeting. He assumed they would talk a little; that it would be like a regular job interview, but now Louis wants to "get to it" and Zayn has no idea what to do.
Louis seems to sense his nervousness and strokes his back lightly. "Wow, you really haven't got any experience at all, have you?"
At that, Zayn finds himself frowning a little and protests. "I do. I've been with plenty of women, just not… I mean, I've thought about it a lot, I've just never…"
"That's all right," Louis says, a small smile on his lips. "Like I said; I'll go easy on you. Just one question, though – what made you come here? I mean, most people would rather experience this with someone they actually care about, if you know what I mean."
Zayn looks down at his hands again and bites his lip, not sure what to say. That his family would never tolerate it if he brought a bloke home rather than the charming girl they're expecting? That none of his friends have any idea that he secretly swings this way? That he's a fucking coward and can't bring himself to stand up to the world and tell everyone he's not as straight as they all think?
He doesn't particularly feel like baring his soul to these strangers when he hasn't even fully admitted the whole thing to himself, and Louis seems to sense that. He touches his chin lightly and turns his head towards him, and before Zayn can fully process what's happening, Louis' lips brush his own and he's kissing him, his lips gentle but sure.
Zayn's eyes flutter closed of their own accord and he makes an involuntary little sound in his throat as he returns the kiss tentatively, every nerve on edge. It's brief; after a few seconds, Louis draws back and gives him a sweet grin that makes Zayn feel at ease.
He licks his lips and looks down at Louis' mouth, wanting more – but he's still highly aware of Simon sitting there, watching them, probably holding a camera at this point. Louis seems to notice this and leans in to capture his lips in another slow, deep kiss, and Zayn falls into it, forcing himself to forget about everything else. Louis licks into his mouth, tongue probing his lips lightly until Zayn grants him access and opens his mouth to allow the intrusion. Hands still in his lap, he lets Louis cup his cheeks and kisses him back, his heart pounding in his chest.
He's never felt anything like this before. He's kissing a boy for the first time in his life (a meaningless snog during Truth or Dare at a party a few months ago excluded) and while he's obviously just met Louis and isn't in love with him in the slightest, it still feels like the best thing he's ever experienced. It's eye-opening, and after a couple of minutes, he has to draw back and gasp for air at the intensity of the kiss.
Louis is looking at him through half-lidded eyes, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he brushes his fingertips over Zayn's cheek. "You're a fantastic kisser," he murmured. "Should've known. With those lips…"
Zayn feels his cheeks flush again and ducks his head when Louis laughs. He feels the other boy's fingers tilting his chin up again and reluctantly meets those blue eyes.
"Are you ready?" Louis asks quietly.
Zayn swallows hard and gives a half-nod, half-shrug, not sure what Louis is even talking about. Louis sees the question in his eyes and slides his hand to the back of Zayn's neck, rubbing it lightly.
"I'm going to kiss you again," he explains. "Then I'm going to take off your clothes and probably go down on you, or touch you with my hands. We just need to see how you look on camera, you know? Normally, you would be the one to touch me, but since this is your first time, we'll go with this, for now. Just be yourself. Ignore Simon and focus on me, all right?"
Zayn nods mutely and his heart skips a beat. He's worried, of course. A little voice in the back of his mind is screaming at him and asking what the fuck he thinks he's even doing here, but he knows he can't run. He's here now and he won't back out.
"Good," Louis says after a moment of silence, sliding his hand to the side of his neck. "Then let go, Zayn. Just let me take care of you."
Louis' eyes are warm, his voice soft and comforting, and when he leans in to kiss him again, Zayn gives in and melts into the kiss, reaching up to wrap his arms around Louis' neck. He closes his eyes and tries to push everything else out of his mind; tries to forget where he is and just let go.
Louis hums softly and tilts his head, invading Zayn's mouth with his tongue, hands sliding down to Zayn's sides, pulling him closer. Zayn tightens his arms around Louis' neck, their bodies pressed together. His breath catches in his throat when Louis pushes him down on the couch and slides on top of him, his body solid and warm above his own.
His heart is still beating rapidly when Louis shifts into a comfortable position between his legs and Zayn feels himself tense a bit. The moment is gone a couple of seconds later when Louis starts to slowly grind his hips against Zayn's and his cock hardens instantly. He stifles a moan when Louis slips a hand beneath his t-shirt and strokes his side gently, fingertips tracing his ribs.
He breaks the kiss then and looks down at him with a hunger Zayn has never seen in anyone's eyes before. He swallows hard and glances down when Louis pushes his jumper up to his chest, his brows shooting up when he sees Zayn's tattoos.
"Well hello there," he purrs as he leans forward and drags his tongue over one of them, tracing it with the tip before he moves up to his nipple and starts sucking on it. Zayn bites his lip when a moan escapes him and his body arches up automatically.
Louis' hands slide down to his hips, keeping them firmly pinned to the sofa as he grazes his teeth over Zayn's nipples, eliciting another helpless moan from him. Zayn's breath comes faster when he feels Louis' hands between his legs, working on the buttons and zipper of his trousers and tugging them down over his hips. He watches him slide down his body with wide eyes, stomach hollowing as he holds his breath. Louis kisses his hipbones, eyes locked with Zayn's as he hooks two fingers under the waistband of his briefs and pulls them down as well, freeing his erection.
Zayn swallows hard and closes his eyes, partly embarrassed, partly too aroused to look at Louis right now. He feels the other boy's breath ghost over the exposed head of his erection and whimpers when Louis brushes his lips over the tip.
"Fuck," he breathes, throwing an arm over his face when Louis slowly sucks him into the wet warmth of his mouth.
He's been sucked off before, of course – he isn't as virginal as he feels right now. But after a few seconds, he realises that he's never really experienced a real blowjob before. The way Louis moves his head up and down on his cock, hand firmly wrapped around the base and stroking it slowly suggests that he knows exactly what he's doing; something Zayn has never really felt with a girl before.
His hips thrust upwards of their own accord when Louis removes his hand and swallows him down to the hilt. Zayn forces himself to open his eyes; they widen almost comically when he sees Louis deep-throating him and Zayn grips the armrest of the couch behind his head. He's never seen anything this hot before.
When Louis opens his eyes and meets his, Zayn almost comes but manages to restrain himself, reminding himself that he's auditioning for porn here, and that stamina is necessary to succeed in this business. He bites his lip and takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to control himself and hold back.
Louis keeps sucking steadily, and Zayn groans and reaches down, sliding his hand into Louis' hair almost hesitantly, not wanting to mess up the other boy's artful hairdo. Louis however seems to lean into the touch and goes back to sucking him off, making Zayn's eyes roll into the back of his head with his skilled tongue and the light pressure of his lips.
He twists Louis' hair between his fingers and tries to keep his hips still, but Louis is no longer holding him down and he literally can't stop himself from thrusting up into the welcome heat of Louis's mouth. Louis doesn't even gag; instead, he makes an appreciative sound and lifts Zayn's hips a little, encouraging him to fuck his mouth, and after some initial hesitation, Zayn does.
He doesn't last as long as he wants to, but thinks it's a perfectly acceptable duration, considering how good Louis is and how long it's been since he's been blown.
He tightens his fingers in Louis' hair and tugs a little harder than necessary when his hips buck up and he feels his orgasm wash over him, eyes fastened on Louis as he comes down his throat and cries out hoarsely. Louis stares up at him as he swallows it all, drawing back a moment later to lick him clean.
Zayn closes his eyes and lets his head fall back, panting heavily, feeling dizzy. For a few seconds, he can't even think straight, but feels Louis' lips on his stomach and chest, and then near the corner of his mouth. He turns his head a little, opening his mouth to Louis as he kisses him again; and tasting himself on the other boy's tongue is almost enough to make him hard all over again.
Louis finally draws back and looks down at him with dark eyes before a smile tugs on the corners of his mouth and he turns his head to look at Simon. "Well?"
Zayn's cheeks flush when he's brought back to reality and reminded of the fact that they're not alone. When Louis gets off him, he tugs his jumper down and swallows hard as he sits up and pulls his pants back up.
Simon's quiet for a few moments and Zayn looks up anxiously when he's buttoned up. His heart is beating fast for an entirely different reason now; he almost feels like he's back at school, awaiting his marks for a test or presentation.
"You're good," Simon says finally, looking at him thoughtfully. "A bit hesitant and reserved, perhaps, but I do see a lot of potential, and if anyone can bring it out of you, it's Louis. I think with a bit of practice, you could be amazing – if you really want this."
Zayn releases the breath he didn't know he's been holding and licks his lips. "I think so," he says hesitantly, and Simon gives him a knowing look.
"Take a few days to consider it, then. We start shooting in two weeks, so you've got a few days to think about it. We've got a back-up actor in case you decide this isn't what you want after all, but… we would be lucky to have you, Zayn. You could be a star in this business, so think about it and get back to us when you've made up your mind."
Zayn smiles a little, flattered, while next to him, Louis is bouncing on the couch, apparently also really pleased with his 'performance'. "You're going to be great. And we can exchange numbers, and if you have any questions, you can ask me, all right? I'll gladly mentor you."
He grins and Zayn smiles back when they all rise to their feet. He shakes Simon's hand again and watches him leave before Louis grabs his wrist and tugs him out of the building behind him.
Outside, Zayn sucks in a deep breath and reaches into his pocket with a shaky hand, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one; taking a deep, calming drag. He leans against the wall, still a little unsteady on his legs.
Louis is watching him and when Zayn meets his eyes, he smiles. "You did great, Zayn."
Zayn smiles back, feeling oddly light-headed as well as proud of himself. He's not surprised Simon thought he was a little too reserved, considering he's rather shy as it is. But he's managed to come here today and do this after thinking about it for a long time, and he can't help but feel like it was the right choice, surreal as it was.
"Can I have your number then?" Louis asks after they've been standing there in silence for a little while, and Zayn nods. They program their numbers into each other's phones, and Zayn finishes his cigarette, tossing the butt onto the sidewalk.
"All right then," Louis says. "Call me, yeah? If you want to meet up and discuss stuff, just ring me up and I'll find time for you. I know this is weird and scary at first, but I promise it's not as intimidating as it may seem right now. I think you'll be fine – especially with me as your mentor."
He gives him a smug smile and Zayn can't help grinning back. "All right," he says softly. "I'll think about it."
"Good," Louis says. He glances at his watch. "Right. I should be going, but I'll see you soon?"
Zayn nods and then waves when Louis disappears around the corner of the building. Zayn stays for another cigarette but then makes his way home a little while later, feeling oddly elated.