Work Text:
After hanging up the call, Alyx turned to face Gordon again. Whatever she’d been about to say vanished from her mind at the sight of him though. “Is that a garden gnome?” She’d seen garden gnomes before so it wasn’t that out there but turning around to see him of all people randomly holding one made it a bit more strange.
He looked up at her for just a moment before turning his gaze back onto the gnome in his hands. Taking one hand off, he lifted it to sign a, “Yes.”
“Where’d you find it?” She would’ve noticed it if it were out in the open. It was fairly big and even with the faded paint, it was eye catching.
Gordon pointed to old rickety bed frame, angled down a bit. So under the bed. An odd place to find a garden gnome since one would think they mostly resided in gardens but with how messed up the world was why wouldn’t one somehow end up under a bed?
She almost stepped over and bent down to see if there was anything else interesting under there but… they had important stuff to do and the Combine were who even knew how close to finding them? They didn’t have time to goof off and look for hidden lawn decorations. “Uh, okay. We should probably get going.”
Switching his hold on the gnome to one armed hugging it to his chest, with it faced outwards, Gordon started for the door. Apparently the gnome was coming with them. With a shrug, Alyx followed. Who was she to question Gordon Freeman? Maybe he just liked gnomes. They were kind of cute after all.
And even if the situation was rather urgent it was good to see a less serious side of him finally. Before all this she’d have never thought she’d meet someone as cool and badass as the Gordon Freeman. But now they were somehow good enough friends for him to relax around her a little. How cool was that?
***
The fall shouldn’t have killed the Freeman. He’d survived much worse many times. And if his time were to ever come it wouldn’t be at the bottom of a pit. But still he was taking an awful long time to come back up. Time they did have – the others could keep the Alyx Vance stable for days if need be – but it wouldn’t be wise to push it if they could help it, especially with the Combine on the hunt for the Freeman and the Alyx Vance. … Perhaps the ladder didn’t descend all the way down and thus he needed assistance.
Abandoning the watch for antlions – none seemed likely to be coming anyway – they made their way over the edge to look down over it. … The ladder did seem to descend all the way to the watery bottom so that wasn’t the issue. Instead it was the little statue the Freeman had been carrying since they’d met up. He held it to his chest with one arm, twisting his wrist so he could grasp the ladder, allowing him to let go with the other and raise it to a higher rung. Not much higher though, too far and he’d likely loose his precarious grip on the statue. As a result, his progress was slow, he wasn’t even halfway up yet.
“Do you require assistance, Freeman?” They were not going to ask him to drop it. It was clearly important even if its purpose was beyond their comprehension.
The Freeman flinched at their raised voice, freezing in place. He then tilted his head to look up at them. But alas with his hands busy and his voice seemingly nonexistent, he had no means of giving an answer. Oh, if only he could connect to the Vortessence, eliminating the need for such paltry forms of communication.
“I will lower down a rope with a loop for your statue.” The least they could do for the Freeman was assist him in what was clearly an important endeavor.
Finding a rope long enough was surprisingly easy. Upon tying a loop at the end of it big enough to allow the statue to fit – all the Freeman would have to do was tighten it to prevent the statue from falling out – they lowered it over the edge. The Freeman had made it up a little further but not by much. Ever intelligent and dexterous, he managed to get the statue into the loop and tighten it while remaining on the ladder.
As he started climbing properly now, they slowly pulled the statue up, careful not to bump it against the wall. As a result, the Freeman reached the top a few seconds before the statue did. He stood by as they finished pulling it up to hand to him.
Before accepting it, he lifted his hands to sign, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” For humans repeating something meant emphasis, meaning this was quite an important statue indeed.
“We are glad to be of service. Now let us continue.”
***
There were not one but two giant fucking antlions. Did the deterrents work on them too? … Hopefully because Alyx was about to find out the hard way as the pain radiating up from the freshly healed wound in her back and abdomen made the prospect of continuing forward into the fray proper a very unappealing one. Lucky for her she had a vortigaunt and Gordon on her side.
Speaking of Gordon, he turned to her, his gaze intent. Checking on her? … No, to shove the gnome into her arms, giving her almost no option but to accept it. He then immediately turned away, pulling his shotgun off where it was magnetized to his HEV suit as he rushed towards the antlion guardians.
“What am I suppose to do with this?” She called after him.
He didn’t even turn back to look at her.
“One would assume he wishes you to keep it safe while we deal with the antlions,” the vortigaunt said as he blasted one of the braver antlions that had dared to approach a bit closer than the others.
Damn it. She wasn’t good for much else in her current state so she’d been put on gnome guard duty. “Fine, whatever.” Only because Gordon had asked her to though. At least she wasn’t completely useless; she could keep a garden decoration intact, no problem.
~
After the battle, Gordon returned to her. “You okay?”
“As okay as I can be.” She was still weaker than she’d like and would’ve appreciated a chance to sit down but they didn’t have the time to so no use complaining. “I kept your gnome safe too. See? Completely intact.”
“Thank you.”
“Can I ask what’s the deal with it though? I mean like… no judgment of course just… it’s a bit odd. Not that that’s a bad thing, nothing wrong with being odd, some people think I’m a bit odd and that’s fine. But like… you know.” She was messing this up real bad. Way to go her. “There’s a lot going on and it’s a bit much to carry around and stuff.” She’d have assumed he would’ve left is somewhere as soon as carrying it became inconvenient.
Gordon lifted his hands as if to answer but held them there for several seconds before finally doing so. “I don’t know.” He then took the gnome from her with the gravity gun before turning away and continuing.
“Wait. What do you mean you don’t know?”
He didn’t turn to respond. Odd as the gnome was, that answer was even odder. How could he not know why he was carrying around a gnome even despite all the problems keeping it intact was already causing? He was running around without a proper weapon out for Pete’s sake, there had to be a reason for that. But… they didn’t have time to sit around and talk about it. So with a sigh, she set into a light jog, about as fast as she could make herself go currently, to catch up.
~
Well if Gordon was wondering off into a toxic filled pit while Alyx was stuck up here… “You want me to keep the gnome safe for you?” The amount of times it had almost taken damage had seemed to cause him some distress. Not that he was easy to read, especially when he had the HEV suit’s helmet up, but he had looked the gnome over rather closely every time something almost happened to it.
He turned to face her, the gnome held by the gravity gun in his hands. Seemingly he thought about it for several seconds before nodding and lifting it up for her to take.
“I promise I’ll take good care of it.”
He lifted a hand to sign a quick, “Thank you,” before turning and heading through.
After closing the door behind him, she turned to the vortigaunt. Some of them came up with names for themselves that humans could pronounce, some didn’t. She’d have loved to have a name for this one after everything they’d done for her. Would it be rude to ask for one? … Possibly so for now she wouldn’t. Instead… “What do you think might be Gordon’s deal with this gnome?”
“It is clearly of great importance.”
“Well yeah, but why?”
“It is not my place to question the Freeman and what is important to him or why. Besides, you are both human. I feel your ability to understand him far exceeds mine.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s fair.” Understanding other people was never something she’d been particularly good at either though. She’d spent too much of her time growing up working in the lab to waste time getting good at interacting with people. “It’s just… at fist I thought it was for fun. Like it was something that was silly and not a big deal. That he thinks it’s cute or something so he wanted to carry it with him for a bit. But now I’m not so sure. And I’m not sure why but it just feels really weird. Like maybe it’s… not necessarily a bad thing but uh… like I should be worried about it or something.”
“Ask him when he returns?”
She could and maybe even should but… “We don’t really have time to stand around talking about stuff.” And she wouldn’t at all know how to ask without it perhaps sounding like she was suggesting he abandon the gnome which would be rather rude. “And it might be nothing, just him being a little weird. Which I think he’s earned the right to after everything he’s done for humanity.” She hadn’t thought about it before but he’d had an awful lot of weight resting on his shoulders for a while now. Even if he could bear it well and had so far fulfilled those expectations, it was probably still stressful. So why shouldn’t he be entitled to a little weirdness and an emotional support gnome?
~
Naturally, when climbing into the car with Gordon at the wheel, the gnome ended up in Alyx’s lap. She was quickly becoming just as much this thing’s protector as Gordon himself was. That was fine though. Even if it was a bit inconvenient at times, it was the least she could do. It still struck her as vaguely worrying but… probably it was just stress from the whole almost dying thing and the Combine being after them. Gordon was just a bit weird, she could respect that and it was rather charming.
~
Despite Gordon having been the one to almost end up as the Advisor’s meal – or whatever it had planned to do to him with its long tentacle tongue thing – he was the one helping Alyx to her feet. He had the HEV suit, yeah, but still.
“You okay?” he asked, his hands moving fast enough that she’d doubt she’d have been able to read it if it had been signs she wasn’t as familiar with.
“Yeah, I think so. What about…” She cut off as he turned and hurried away. Had he heard more Combine coming or… no, he was looking for the gnome. Which did at least mean he was probably okay… physically at least.
It didn’t take him long to find it. The bit of its hat that had been chipped off at the tip was a bit more pronounced now, the whole tip had broken off, noticeable even from over here. Gordon rubbed his thumb over it as he stared it.
“It’s mostly intact,” Alyx said as she joined him. “It’s got a flat tip now so uh… we could maybe paint over it later and it’ll look fine.”
He looked up at her for a moment, his face utterly unreadable, before looking down at it again. What he might be feeling was impossible for her to even guess but it couldn’t be good, could it? The gnome wasn’t just a silly fun thing if he’d been that worried about it. Before she could ask him about why it was so important to him though, a familiar thud of boots came from uncomfortably close to the room they were in, coming their way. “Combine.”
Gordon turned and quickly found a hiding spot for the gnome, turning back around just in time for said Combine soldiers to burst through the door.
~
A clatter and a familiar headcrab call drew Alyx’s gaze up to the rocket. Gordon was at the hatch, pulling Lamarr out of it. She wasn’t going easy but fighting and struggling the whole way. To no avail though, Gordon was far stronger than her, forcing her out without seemingly much effort at all. Then, holding her to his chest, he jumped down over the railing, landing with a clank that betrayed how heavy the HEV suit was. He then made his way back over to them and extend Lamarr towards Dad, clearly wanting him to take her as she squirmed and shrieked as loud as she could. Which was just loud enough to be annoying.
“Get that thing out of here or make it shut up,” Magnusson called from over by the control panel.
Dad let out a long suffering sigh as he accepted Lamarr from Gordon. She didn’t like to be held by him either but did calm down a little bit. “I suppose I’ll get her out of her before Manugsson gets any more insistent about it. I’ll finish catching up with you two later, okay?”
“Sure thing, catch up with you more in a bit.” Alyx might’ve gone with him but her curiosity about what Gordon was up to as immediately upon his hands being freed of Lamarr he’d turned head back up to the hatch again, was too strong. So as Dad left for the elevator, she followed Gordon.
There being only room up there for one she couldn’t follow him up it and thus couldn’t see what he did as he reached into the hatch. “What are you doing up there?” Was he doing some kind of super smart fix the others hadn’t caught? … Probably not. Likely he was just fixing whatever Lamarr had disturbed.
Either way he didn’t reply as he pulled back and shut the hatch before jumping down again, once more not bothering to take the safer way down. Hopefully once it came time for him to take the suit off, he’d remember to not do that anymore. For now though, she wouldn’t say anything as he sat on the railing surrounding the rocket. Instead…
“Where’s the gnome?” She looked around but… it was nowhere in sight. Gordon had brought it in as always and of course he’d had to have to put it down to grab Lamarr. But he should’ve picked it up again immediately like he’d been doing. Of course they were in a safe space now so maybe he was more okay with not holding it as much as possible but it still had to be nearby, right?
As she looked back at him for an answer, he pointed up towards the top of the platform by the rocket’s hatch. The gnome wasn’t up there though so… “In the rocket?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, uh… why?” That was the least safe spot for it around here.
He lifted hand hands and held them there for several second before replying. “I’m sending it to space. It’ll break if I keep carrying it around.”
Finally he was leaving it, making things easier for both of them. But… “Why don’t you just leave it here? I’m sure Dad would gladly keep it safe for you.”
Another long hesitation before Gordon answered. “I need to cut ties. It’s not a person so I need to stop and get rid of it but I don’t want to throw it a way or break it. Sending it to space feels right.”
Alyx’s hunch that the gnome had long ago ceased being a small fun thing was right. Whether it was a sign of something she should be worried about was still unclear. She leaned back against the wall as she lifted her hands to sign back. It meant she spoke a bit slower as she was still better at reading sign language than forming her own sentences in it but Magnusson was still on the other side of the rocket and if they finally had some time to talk, she wanted to do it without him overhearing if she could help it. “It’s okay to care about objects. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I know but… this isn’t that. It’s not normal. I need to stop.”
So… it was something to be worried about? Gordon certainly seemed to be implying it was but he was just so hard to read. His face was impassive and his hands as he signed weren’t particularly expressive. … He looked tired. She was too. Everyone was, right? Who couldn’t be tired when all of this was happening? They were getting closer and closer to freeing themselves of the Combine and that was great but as far as they’d come, there was still a lot to do. But he’d done the most out of any of them and was likely to do even more . And he was only human.
Everyone put him up on a pedestal, expecting so much of him. Even she had, how could she not after growing up hearing the ways people talked about him? After seeing from a distance the things he’d done that seemed almost inhuman? But the more time she spent with the more obvious it became that he was just guy like the rest of them. Smart and strong and blessed with a seeming endless supply of luck but still just a man. One who’d been through a lot. After the Black Mesa incident he’d been put into stasis and dropped into all of what was happening now.
“Are you okay?” How had she never thought to ask that before? She’d always assumed that he was despite how obvious it was was in hindsight that he might not be.
He lifted a hand but paused for a few moments before forming it into a, “No.” Sighing, he lowered it again, offering no further explanation.
Alyx pushed off the wall and walked over to stand next to him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered because she didn’t know what else to say. Putting a hand on his shoulder, the HEV suit’s metal was surprisingly somewhat warm, probably because of the power running through it. “Do you… wanna go find a place to sit down and rest a bit? We don’t have to talk about it or… anything if you don’t want to. But I think you’ve earned a rest.”
For the first time perhaps ever, certainly since she’d met him, his mask cracked, revealing the same kind of look a dying man gave a potential savior. “ Please .”
Keeping her hand on his shoulder, offering whatever little comfort it could give when he probably couldn’t even feel it, she started guiding him back towards the elevator. Before they were even halfway there though, alarms started blaring as lights flashed, making both of them flinch.
Magnusson cursed, damn he was still here. “Gosh dang it. Gordon, since you’re still here, go make yourself useful and deal with that. It’s probably just crows again but maybe you can use your smarts to figure out how to make it stop going off all the time.”
Gordon’s face hardened once more as he pulled his crowbar off his chest and turned to obey. Alyx wanted to protest, insist he deserved a rest, let someone else handle it for once. But if it wasn’t a false alarm, he was still the best man for the job. It wasn’t fair but… life wasn’t fair.