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“What is it you wanted, Iyen-ah?” Seungmin asked as he walked into the room, spotting their youngest curled up on the bed.
Only moments before he’d received a text asking to meet in the other’s bedroom, requesting a private meeting just between the two of them. Jeongin wasn’t the type to seek out these kinds of intimate moments, not like Hyunjin or Felix, who liked it when Seungmin agreed to hanging out just the two of them, somewhere quiet. Seungmin had immediately sprung out of bed at receiving the message, barely slipping on his slippers – puppy themed, of course, courtesy of Jeongin himself– before shuffling down the hall to the youngest’s room.
At the sound of his voice, Jeongin sat up but continued to stare down at his hands, nervously fiddling them as though avoiding meeting his gaze. Seungmin closed the door softly and padded closer, sitting himself on the chair opposite. He made to repeat his earlier question, when Jeongin spoke.
“When…” he paused, flinching at the sound of his own voice in the quiet room. Clearing his throat, he continued a little softer. “When do you know... that you love someone?” Quickly clarifying, “In love with someone, I mean.”
Oh. Seungmin froze, blinking slowly. I see.
His brain was working overtime in order to gather his thoughts, but it was like everything had suddenly turned fuzzy, only a static, white noise blurring anything remotely coherent or intelligent.
At the lack of a response Jeongin finally looked up, brows furrowed and lips pursed. Seungmin recognised the look immediately. It was the expression Jeongin pulled whenever he felt overwhelmed; frustrated not at anybody else, but at himself, at being unable to express himself properly. Frustrated at his seeming lack of ability. Seungmin had seen it countless times under the harsh lighting of the recording studio, but never had he expected to see it in such circumstances.
Hating that he’d caused such a look on the younger’s face, Seungmin forced his brain to work – forced himself to do something, anything, to wipe away the signs of distress.
“I think,” he said, softly, moving slowly toward the bed. Mulling over the words before he spoke them. “That when you love somebody, it doesn’t feel very different at all.”
Jeongin frowned, seemingly unsatisfied with the response, but Seungmin continued.
“I mean, love is something that’s so deep, so consuming... I can’t help but feel like if you were in love with somebody then surely that feeling had to have been there all along, right?” Seungmin sat down on the bed, being careful to keep a small distance, to respect the younger’s boundaries. The words weren’t so hard to find now that he had started, rather, Seungmin couldn’t help but feel like he had to keep talking, if not for Jeongin, then for himself. “Love is like something that you feel in your bones… a heaviness in your chest that you don’t really mind, because it just means that you’re so full of love for that person.”
He couldn’t help but press a hand against his own chest, as if recalling that heaviness himself.
“It’s like an extra sense you never truly realised you had, that makes you aware of that person all the time. Aware of how they’re feeling, where they are… it makes you worry about whether they’ve eaten or slept well.” He paused, that extra sense tingling now, alerting him to the intensity of another’s attention. When he looked up, Jeongin stared back at him, eyes shining. Seungmin’s throat felt tight as he continued in a whisper. “It makes you think, constantly, whether they’re thinking about you, too.”
Jeongin was staring at him, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He’d listened to the flurry of words uninterrupted, becoming increasingly starry-eyed the longer Seungmin spoke, lips parted. He looked so young, like this. Rounded face, still the hints of baby-fat upon his cheeks, stubbornly refusing to shift even as he filled out everywhere else, as he became a man. Seungmin himself knew that his own face looked the same; the pair suspended in that space between childhood and adulthood; discovering themselves day by day as they grew alongside one another.
Seungmin smiled, then. Heart hammering in his chest so loudly that he was sure Jeongin could hear. Yet despite this he felt only calm. As though the words he’d spoken had released him from any lingering anxiety, lifted the weight he hadn't even known was there, pushing him down.
Rather, Seungmin felt only a deep affection settle comfortably within his chest as he stared at the other boy.
It was only Jeongin, after all. His best friend. His soulmate.
“Does that help?” he asked, softly.
When Jeongin didn’t reply, Seungmin took the initiative to reach across the small space between them and take the other’s hands into his own, brushing his thumb along the boy’s knuckles. They were dry and a little cracked, and Seungmin made the mental note to apply some cream to them later on. Jeongin’s hands were too nice to be cracked and sore.
“…I’m not sure,” Jeongin finally replied, voice unexpectedly raspy.
Seungmin squeezed Jeongin’s hands and slowly raised them to his lips, where he pressed a soft kiss to his fingers. It wasn’t overtly romantic, but the eye contact they shared made the gesture decidedly more intimate.
“Iyen-ah,”Seungmin said quietly. “You know that nothing you could tell me would ever change anything between us, right?” He smiled, eyes crinkling. “We’re soulmates. I don’t think you realise that I know you better than you do, yourself.” He pressed another kiss against Jeongin’s hand, so soft. “I assure you that whatever it is you want to tell me, I already know.”
Jeongin blinked at that, suddenly looking anxious despite the reassurance in Seungmin’s words. His shoulders stiffened, tensing as though preparing to fold into himself, though he noticeably did not pull his hand away. Seungmin shuffled closer, not allowing the younger the opportunity to retreat into himself. Not this time.
“Jeonginnie,”he whispered, like they were sharing a secret. Jeongin met his gaze, fox-eyes endearingly wide in confusion. “If you love somebody, then you must think the world of them, right?”
Jeongin nodded minutely, just the barest downturn of the head. Seungmin breathed out slowly, remaining calm.
“Then, don’t you think that they deserve to know that someone loves them?” he asked. “Someone as amazing as you?” He smiled, and with the hand that wasn’t holding Jeongin’s, he brushed a thumb across the younger’s cheek. “Only a fool would say no to you.”
Jeongin breathed out, stuttering, lashes fluttering wildly, as though overwhelmed by the words. But his gaze was full of yearning. When he spoke, he seemed to have gathered all of his courage in the few words.
“What would you say?”
Seungmin didn’t miss a beat. didn't allow even a moment for consideration. “I’d say yes.” He smiled. “I couldn’t ever say no to you, Jeongin-ah.”
Before he could even catch his breath from the confession, it was stolen from him in the next moment as Jeongin crashed their lips together.
It was messy and wet and altogether uncoordinated from their eagerness but Seungmin heard the blood rushing in his veins like waves crashing within his ears. His heartbeat thunderous. Suddenly eager and more confident in his actions, Jeongin pushed Seungmin down onto the bed so that his hair fanned against the pillow, not once allowing their lips to detach. Seungmin was no less desperate, wrapping his arms around Jeongin’s neck so tightly that they were pressed together almost as one – greedy for more and unwilling to let a single inch come between them.
Their kisses were deep and surprisingly intense for their first time, but Seungmin felt so intoxicated, so suddenly awakened with a desperate need for Jeongin, for his warmth and his attention, that he barely noticed when a sharp pain pinched his bottom lip, nor when the taste of copper accompanied the sweetness of Jeongin’s lips. He was beginning to feel lightheaded when they finally pulled apart, panting for breath.
Jeongin hovered above him, looking down with wide, wild eyes. Pupils dilated in arousal and cheeks flushed. Seungmin thought he looked like a dream.
“Innie,” he cooed, playing with the small hairs at the back of Jeongin’s neck. He felt a little giddy, like a schoolgirl whose crush was requited, likely from the lingering adrenaline still pumping through his veins. The aftermath of his confession and at finally being able to kiss the boy he was in love with. Seungmin felt alive.
By contrast, Jeongin seemed awkward once more, and when he swiped at Seungmin’s bottom lip with his thumb only to have it come back tinged red with blood, Seungmin realised why. Unable to help himself, he brought a hand to muffle the laughter.
“Did your braces do that?” he asked, laughing at Jeongin’s mortified expression. When the younger pressed his face into Seungmin’s neck to avoid looking at him, Seungmin laughed even harder. Cooing obnoxiously, unable to help but tease, he pinched Jeongin’s red ear affectionately.
“Yah, Iyen-ah, who knew my first kiss would be so wild?” he teased. “We’ve been together less than five minutes and you’re already drawing blood.”
Jeongin whipped his head up, still blushing madly but now staring at Seungmin with a sense of fiery determination. “That was your first kiss?” he asked sharply.
“Yes,” Seungmin replied easily, brushing his hand along the other’s jaw and smiling when Jeongin naturally leaned into his touch. “So take responsibility, okay?”
“It was mine, too,” Jeongin felt compelled to say, eyes shining bright under the bedroom light. When he smiled, the metal of his braces shined, too. “My first kiss, I mean.”
Seungmin’s stomach fluttered at that, something uncurling in his gut. A sense of smugness. It made him feel airy, and a little dazed. He wouldn’t have cared if this was Jeongin’s hundredth kiss, but there was something admittedly pleasant about knowing that this was both of their first times, shared with each other. It meant that, just like so many other things in their life, they would share this moment as one. Just another of life's steps taken together.
Seungmin pushed himself up to press a kiss at the corner of Jeongin’s lips, smiling mischievously as he pulled back. “Then, I think we should both practice a lot more, don’t you think?”
“Yes, hyung.” If Jeongin had nodded any quicker Seungmin was quite sure that his head would have fallen off, but he found it immensely endearing.
“Cute maknae-ah,” he cooed obnoxiously, because he wouldn't be true to himself if he didn't tease Jeongin a little more. He tugged the boy's face closer to press kisses to his jaw, down his neck, in apology. “My cute Iyen-ah. You’re all mine now, aren’t you?”
“Only if you’re all mine,” Jeongin replied with an undercurrent of fire to his words, forcing Seungmin to meet his heated stare with strong hands, fingers pressing against his jaw. Seungmin pointedly ignored the way his stomach coiled pleasantly at the sign of strength. “You’re not allowed to kiss anybody else.”
Seungmin certainly didn’t want to kiss anybody else, but he couldn’t help himself from pushing at the other’s buttons. “Not allowed?” he tsked. “Maknae-ah, don't forget whose older. Since when were you so possessive?”
Jeongin’s eyes narrowed and his grip on Seungmin’s jaw tightened. “Since you kissed me back.”
Seungmin’s breath caught in his throat at the sudden show of dominance and he had to fight back a blush at how attractive he found it. Jeongin seemed to already know, because his earlier shyness had now transformed into a kind of cockiness that caused him to smirk. With one hand still cupping Seungmin's face, the other slowly slid down to settle on his waist, curling around it sensually. Seungmin’s stomach swooped dangerously and he felt his toes curl at the feeling.
“Do you like that?” Jeongin teased, that familiar mischief returning to his eyes.
It was Seungmin’s favourite look on him. No longer did the younger seem so raw and vulnerable. Rather, it looked like their shared confession had lifted the weight from his shoulders and with it, returned some of his natural brattiness.
Unwilling to allow himself to be teased by Yang Jeongin of all people, he pushed the other boy off of him. Jeongin laughed at his pout, sounding much too smug for Seungmin’s liking.
“Well, now that we’ve sorted all that out, I think you should make your boyfriend something to eat.”
Seungmin had said the words mostly in jest, but Jeongin’s sudden flush had him pausing at the door.
“We’re boyfriends, now?”
Seungmin blinked. “We literally kissed?” he said, suddenly confused. “I don’t know about you, but for me, that kind of constituted the beginning of a relationship.”
“Me too!” Jeongin shouted, jumping up to stand flush to Seungmin once more, hands naturally winding themselves around his waist, crowding him in against the door. “Me too, hyung. I want to be your boyfriend.”
Seungmin rolled his eyes and turned his face away, trying not to blush. “Then you can start by making me something to eat. I’ll have you know I set high standards.” His eyes slid towards the other. “I expect to be wooed.”
Jeongin smiled boyishly, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Of course, hyung.”
After another shared kiss – one that ruined Seungmin’s plan to not leave the room looking like he'd just rolled out of the bed; his cheeks flushed and hair a mess – the pair finally left the younger’s room, only to pause at seeing the living room busy with the rest of their members. At the sound of their arrival, all heads turned their way.
While Seungmin had expected them to immediately pick up on the pair’s joined hands, he was surprised that they focused almost instantly on his lips.
“Are you bleeding?” Chan asked, standing up and quickly walking closer with a concerned expression. He took Seungmin’s face into his hands, turning it left and right in order to better see the cut on his lip in the overhead light.
Jeongin, no longer cocky but once more that sheepish maknae toeing his shoe into the carpet, tried his best to ignore their stares whilst looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.
Seungmin couldn’t help himself, he laughed. Pushing away Chan’s clingy hands, he smirked at his embarrassed boyfriend.
“Guys, Iyen-ah and I have some news to share.”
The food remained forgotten on the table as the group all stared at Seungmin, awaiting whatever it was he wanted to say. It was only Minho who looked unaffected, eyes hooded as he stared at the youngest two, a knowing smirk playing upon his lips.
“What is it, Seungminnie?” Hyunjin asked, smiling fondly at the boy as he always did, so soft for the two youngest of their friend group. “We’re all ears,” he grinned,eyes squinting.
“Oh, just you wait,” Minho drawled, smirking. Hyunjin sent him a withering glare, as always ungrateful for the other’s sarcastic remarks, but before an argument could break out Seungmin walked toward the table and began filling his plate with food.
Smiling pleasantly, he dropped the bomb with a casual, “We’re dating.”
Silence. All across the table, his friends stared at him with wide eyes and parted lips. Seungmin continued to casually pile his plate with food, making another for his boyfriend when it looked like Jeongin just might make a run for it, refusing to make eye contact altogether. How cute. (Seungmin wanted to push him to the floor and make a mess of him.)
Hyunjin, Jisung and Changbin seemed to have frozen in time, the first looking as though he was suffering an existential crisis while Minho watched on with an evil little smile. Felix, on the other hand, looked inordinately pleased for them both. As expected he was grinning widely and his hands were waving about like he didn’t know what to do with the sudden burst of excited energy.
When glancing at their leader, trying to subtly gauge his reaction to what Seungmin now realised was a very delicate issue – he was the leader, after all, and this meant that anything negative or controversial would inevitably become his responsible to bear – but when he saw Chan’s face, Seungmin huffed in amusement. Chan looked like he’d just been told that the sky was pink and Santa wasn’t real.
Reality: shifted.
“Congratulations,” Minho said as Seungmin finally took a seat beside him at the table, placing Jeongin’s plate beside his. “I’m glad you finally figured things out.”
“Eh?” Jeongin said from behind them, eventually sitting down at Seungmin's urging, looking nervously at Minho. Seungmin patted his shoulder consolingly, pushing the plate toward him and smiled at Minho. "Thank you, hyung. I thought Iyen-ah was going to make me wait forever."
“Eh!?” Jeongin exclaimed, but once again he went ignored. Seungmin was looking across the table at Hyunjin, who seemed to have taken the news the hardest. His hyung was blinking rapidly, glancing between Seungmin and Jeongin without comprehension.
Chan, meanwhile, seemed to have come to his senses. Smiling at them both like a proud father, he managed to congratulate them both before Felix could burst from excitement. “We’re all happy for the both of you.” His smile was genuine, eyes warm. He patted the youngest on the back with a chuckle, easing some of the tension from Jeongin’s stiff shoulders. “Of course, you know you have all our support.”
His words were met with mumbled agreements, most of them already stuffing their faces with food, hmming and ahhing in collective encouragement.
“While this is sweet and all,” Jisung suddenly cut in, cheeks full and words muffled as he chewed obnoxiously on his food. “That doesn’t explain why you’re bleeding.”
Jeongin flushed red as Chan’s eyes widened, suddenly remembering that one of his members was hurt. “Seungmin-ah?”
“Ah,” Seungmin said, pausing mid-bite as he blinked at the sudden attention once more directed at his lips. “It’s nothing serious,” he waved off. “Innie’s braces are pretty sharp...”
The meaning behind his words seemed to take five business days to arrive, but when they did, it was surprisingly Hyunjin who was the first to speak.
“Yah!” he yelled, slapping his hands on the table. “What were you both doing smooching at your age!?”
“Did he just say smooching?” Changbin deadpanned, causing Jisung to snort the lemonade he’d been drinking out of his nose, choking even as he cackled madly, Felix smacking his back frantically even as Jisung’s face turned red.
Hyunjin hadn’t even spared them a glance. “Our maknaes aren’t allowed to even think about kissing yet – tell them Chan!”
“Chan-hyung,” Minho corrected with a drawl, but Hyunjin wasn’t even listening. Too caught up in his dramatics to take notice as he looked at their leader with beseeching eyes.
“They’re not allowed,” he continued, strangely intent. “I forbid it!”
Minho rolled his eyes. “Stop babying them,” he chided. “They’re horny teenagers, of course they’re going to kiss.”
Seungmin knew his hyung well enough to know that his choice of words had been purposeful, and not reassuring in the slightest. The small smirk pulling at the corner of Minho's lips evidence enough. Seungmin sighed as Hyunjin turned to look at him with a betrayed expression. Always so dramatic.
Before he could attempt to mitigate the impending disaster that was Hwang Hyunjin, Changbin interrupted.
“I don’t care that they’re dating,” he said, mulling over his words with a mouthful of food. “It’s just kind of depressing that they’re getting any action before the rest of us.”
“Nobody is getting action!” Hyunjin complained, looking again at Seungmin with wide eyes, as though awaiting confirmation.
“That’s right,” Chan, unexpectedly, agreed. At Minho’s glare, he raised his hands in a placating manner. “I’m not babying them!” he denied quickly. “But I do agree that we should set some boundaries… they’re only seventeen.”
“That’s more than old enough back in Australia,” Felix chimed in unhelpfully, but at Hyunjin’s scathing glare he quickly backtracked, eyes wide. “I mean, what - seventeen? They’re practically babies! And what does Australia know anyway? Bloody upside-down country, am I right? Hahaha…”
Seungmin deadpanned. Minho sighed, rolling his eyes. “You talk as if you weren’t getting it on at seventeen.”
“Yah, Lee Minho! That was told in confidence!” Felix screeched, sending wide-eyed looks across to their leader. Chan looked stupefied, and Jisung had descended once more into wild cackles that echoed throughout the living room.
Changbin was eating his food with a distant stare, eyes glazed over, as he huddled down to avoid Felix’s waving hands and Jisung’s full-body chortles. Hyunjin was still dramatically trying to argue with everybody and nobody about the propriety of their maknaes actions whilst Minho now turned his evil intentions on Chan’s naivety when it came to their freckled sunshine.
Seungmin stared at them all with a blank expression, suddenly contemplating whether the intricacies of transferring to another group were worth it. Surely his Day6 sunbaenims would take pity on him if Seungmin explained how chaotic his own group was?
A soft touch against his hands pulled him from his internal musings, and Seungmin's eyes followed the fingers curled around his own until they reached the owner; Jeongin’s shy smile and sparkling eyes.
Seungmin smiled back. A warm, fuzzy feeling fluttering within his stomach.
“Hi,” Jeongin whispered, eyes crinkling as he smiled.
“Hi,” Seungmin whispered back, feeling a little silly.
But when Jeongin squeezed his hand, thumb brushing affectionately against his knuckles, Seungmin felt a contentedness settle his frayed nerves. This was what made everything worth it. Seungmin could never leave Stray Kids, especially not when his best friend was here. His soulmate.
“Chan! They’re holding hands!” Hyunjin screeched, pointing at the pair with accusing eyes, causing all attention to switch to them once more.
Seungmin’s eye twitched, and he regarded his boyfriend with the utmost seriousness.
“How do you feel about joining Day6?"