Chapter Text
As soon as Foggy steps into the office that morning, he says, “We have to go to Brooklyn.”
Matt makes a face at him.
“Why?” he asks.
“Jessica,” Foggy says, around a yawn. “Bar fight. Brooklyn.”
“Do we have to take the subway?” Matt asks, frowning.
“Yes,” Foggy says, “Don’t pout about it. We’re poor.”
“I’m coming with,” Karen says, already packing up her bag. “I saw this news story about a bakery in Brooklyn that makes cupcakes wrapped in bacon and I’ve been dreaming about them.”
“I like your priorities, Page,” Foggy says. He grabs Matt’s coat from the coat rack and drops it on top of his head. “Put on your charming lawyer face. I’ll buy you decent coffee on the way.”
*
“I thought you weren’t going to get into bar fights anymore,” Matt says, “because of your unfair advantage.”
“I never said that,” Jessica says. “I said I wouldn’t get into unnecessary ones or, you know, do it for fun.”
“Why was this one necessary?”
“Some guy didn’t want to take no for an answer,” Jessica says, and Foggy glances over to see Matt’s eyebrows knit together, the start of a frown at the sound of Jessica’s voice going a little unsteady, “so I introduced his face to the bar. And the floor. And then to one of his buddy’s faces.”
“You caused five thousand dollars in property damage,” Foggy says, shuffling through the report that the officer had handed off to him, “with a man’s face.”
“I don’t like men who take what they want without asking,” Jessica says, smiling darkly at him.
“Fair enough,” Foggy says, “They’ve got you on drunk and disorderly and destruction of property, but there’s no witnesses other than the bar’s owner, who says he only heard the conflict. The guy’s in the hospital but I’m thinking as long as nobody realizes you’re stronger than ten men, we can probably get you off scot-free.”
"Ten men,” Jessica scoffs.
“Twenty?” Foggy asks. Jessica raises her eyebrows. “A hundred?”
When Jessica just shrugs, Foggy sighs and says, “If I ever have to move, you’re doing all the heavy lifting. Let’s see about getting you out of here.”
As soon as they turn to leave, the door opens.
“Are you the woman who beat up the entitled asshat with your bare hands like a majestic warrior goddess?” a woman asks, stepping into the room. She’s wearing a sweatshirt that says Flawless with an arrow pointing up to her face.
“Who’s asking?” Jessica says.
“Gina Linetti,” she replies. “I’d like to study at your feet, sensei.”
“Diaz,” another woman says, stepping around Gina. “We just wanted to tell you that we interviewed that prick in the hospital and he deserves to be missing an actual piece of his face. Good job.”
“Well, this is unorthodox,” Foggy says, brightly.
“You’re free to go pending charges,” Diaz says. “But everybody wants to meet you.”
“I hate meeting people,” Jessica says. Diaz’s eyes go a little wide.
“Oh my god, Rosa’s heart just grew three sizes,” Gina says, clutching her hands to her chest. “It’s a Christmas miracle.”
*
Matt takes Foggy’s arm as they’re led out into the main part of the station, leaning in to ask, quietly, “What’s happening?”
“I have no idea,” Foggy says. “Are we sure these people are cops?”
“Jake, this is the beautiful vengeance demon we were discussing,” Gina says, grabbing Jessica by the hand and pulling her towards a desk.
“Dude,” Jake says, standing up to shake Jessica’s hand. “I really dig the way you broke that guy’s face with another guy’s face. It was like Roadhouse but way more badass.”
“Allegedly,” Foggy says. “It was allegedly like Roadhouse. Also, should you really be celebrating violence? As an officer of the law?”
“As an officer of the law that’s brought that douche in for harassment at least four times. . .well, still probably not,” Jake says, then turns to give Jessica a sly smile, “but, on the downlow, sometimes a little vigilante justice goes a long way, am I right.”
Foggy glances over at Matt, whose lips twitch up vaguely.
“Anywho,” Jake says. “He’s probably not going to press charges because he doesn’t want to testify in front of a jury of his peers that he got beaten up by a lady, because a jury of his peers would definitely all be creepy middle-aged sexists.”
“That’s. . .good news, I guess,” Jessica says.
“I’ll talk to the bar’s owner about dropping charges and letting their insurance cover damages,” Diaz says. She’s been hovering behind Jessica the whole time. “We know him, we drink there all the time.”
“We’ve drunkenly destroyed his property, too,” Jake says, cheerfully. “So he’s used to it.”
“This is really unprofessional,” another cop says, standing up from her desk, “but we saw the surveillance video and you lifted a grown man over your head and you’re amazing . We’ve never met a superhero before. Do you want to come to our Christmas party?”
“Be cool, Santiago,” Jake says, then levels a hand at Jessica, “But, seriously, will you come to our Christmas party?”
Jessica looks over at Foggy and Matt, looking a little scared.
“Our client hates both Christmas and parties,” Foggy offers.
“And, also, please refrain from using the word superhero,” Matt adds, “as that’s currently a loaded term in our society.”
“. . .okay, but there’s going to be free booze,” Diaz offers, gruffly.
"And I'm going to be there," Gina says, leaning in to run her hand over Matt's arm. "Hi, Gina Linetti. You can't see me but I'm incandescently beautiful."
"He's incandescently taken," Foggy says, stepping a little closer to Matt.
"Oh, damn," she says, smiling at Foggy and offering a fist to bump. "Nice job locking that down, son."
"Thanks?"
"Can we leave now if I say yes to your free booze?" Jessica asks.
"Absolutely," Jake says, beaming at her. "I mean, you're actually free to go regardless, but Gina got your number from the arrest records, so, like. You're gonna get some annoying texts if you say no."
"I think you mean brilliant and amusing texts," Gina says, "but, yeah, I have you saved in my phone under Xena, Warrior Princess Of My Heart with a bunch of knife emojis."
"Oh my god," Jessica says. "We'll be there."
*
“Why are we going to this party again?” Matt asks, running his hand over Foggy’s chest until he can find his tie and straighten it. Foggy catches his hand to lace their fingers together.
“Because Jessica’s a brooding loner,” he replies, seriously, “and we can’t trust her alone in a room full of booze and cops.”
“I’m a brooding loner,” Matt says.
“It’s cute that you think that,” Foggy says, kissing him on the cheek. “Come on, we’re meeting Karen and her downstairs. I told Jessica she had to pay for a cab because you’re sensitive.”
“That’s. . .an oversimplification,” Matt says, sighing but accepting the arm that Foggy offers, pulling him close as they leave his apartment.