Chapter Text
“Knock knock!”
Donatello looked up to see who was at the door of his lab and smiled, “Hey, Leo! What’s up?”
“Nothing, just wanted to see what you’re working on.”
“Hmm… I suspect there’s an ulterior motive that makes it worth the risk of me babbling about specifications you’re not really that interested in hearing all the details about,” he grinned seeing the eldest’s face also crack into a smile as he held up his hands.
“Okay, busted. I wanted to check on you to make sure you’ve taken a break recently and not burning yourself out.”
“I figured as much and you’re right, it’s been a while so thanks for checking.” Donnie straightened up from where he sat and started stretching, noting the brightening smile on Leonardo’s face.
“I do want to get better about asking about your projects more, we’d be lost without you and I don’t want you to feel like we take you for granted…” The genius paused, looking at his brother in surprise.
“I appreciate that. I don’t usually feel taken for granted. I mean, sometimes—I’m sure we all do though, right?” Leo nodded as he continued. “But I know you all appreciate everything running smoothly and making the lair hospitable.” His smile widened as he received a hug.
“All thanks to you! But, I’ll confess… I’m in here for another reason too.”
“Oh?” The purple bandana raised his right eye ridge questioningly. He observed the other glance over his shoulder while he held up one finger to pause before pointing towards the opening of the room when a loud scream was heard.
“MIKEY!!!” The baritone yell was followed by a high-pitched squeal and loud footsteps were heard running.
“I wanted to be out of range when the latest prank explosion occurred between those two,” Leo laughed. His brother chuckled while shaking his head.
“What did he do this time?”
“I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. As soon as I noticed Mikey stepping quieter than usual with his eyes on Raph, I knew I better hurry elsewhere.” Donatello laughed out loud, partially at imagining the scene described but also at the sheepish expression on Leonardo’s face.
“Our immediate younger brothers are something else for sure,” he chuckled, stepping back over to the microscope he had abandoned a minute prior. His eldest brother crossed his arms as he leaned against the desk.
“Yeah, the sunset duo those two.”
“Aw, Leo—that sounds almost romantic,” he chuckled again, noticing out of the corner of his eye the blush that suddenly appeared on his brother’s face.
“I didn’t mean romantic, just that sunsets have a lot of red and orange so they remind me of them. Sunsets and sunrises are really amazing to see and we’ve got two awesome brothers even when they are acting—” A loud crash sounded out in the living room. “Well, like that.”
“Of course. We all know you love us more than life itself, Leo.” Somehow the acknowledgement caused the recipient to both relax about the earlier inference and look uncomfortable about receiving praise.
“We all love each other, even Raph.”
“Don’t you mean, especially Raph?” Donatello murmured, not looking up from whatever he was inspecting under the microscope.
“Uh… no? If anyone is especially, it would be Mikey. He’s the most affectionate out of all of us.”
Donatello clucked his tongue with a nod, “that he is. But, speaking of confessions, I’ve been thinking about something…”
“I’m almost scared to ask what about,” Leo looked wearily at his smartest brother, recognizing the expression he usually had when he was about to play a winning move during a board game or make a convincing argument that no one else could logically refute.
Donatello placed a hand on the desk and leaned against it, making direct eye contact with his leader who had stood up from leaning on the same desk and was standing up with his arms crossed over the upper part of his plastron.
“It probably goes without saying but I’ll reiterate it for all intents and purposes… that this is something I’ve been pondering over for a while and exploring from different perspectives.” Leo acknowledged with a slight nod so Don continued. “Remember when we were younger and I wanted to do a DNA test for each of us but Sensei forbid it?” Leo’s eyes widened. “No, I didn’t—don’t worry. It was tempting to do so anyway, but even my curiosity was limited by the risk of incurring father’s wrath.”
An inaudible sigh escaped Leonardo. “But you did that whenever we slipped out?”
“That’s different, we all snuck out in a group so we all get in trouble together. You seem to forget I’m the one who got in the least amount of trouble.” At that statement Leo’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout. “Sorry the truth hurts sometimes, big brother,” he placed a hand on the other’s shoulder reassuringly. “But maybe this one, as awkward as it might be at first, is some consolation in the long run…”
Donatello paused, secretively enjoying the obvious intrigue and confused expression on Leonardo’s face. It wasn’t often he had someone’s rapt attention as many of his conversations tended to get convoluted, causing listeners to lose interest. But this matter was especially important to him, one that had far-reaching implications and his current audience was the only one he trusted with the topic…
“So full disclosure: I have not done any DNA testing on ourselves. Of course, I’m curious but I both understand and respect Sensei’s reasons for not doing so because he was concerned it would divide us. It’s possible now that we are older he would have allowed it, seeing as we’ve grown close like a family should but moreso work united as a team just as any clan should. Not on our worst days could I imagine any of us yelling that we aren’t each other’s ‘real’ brothers because really, we’re so much more than that.”
The expression on the blue banded brother’s face had stilled to an almost alarming expression void of emotion. He quietly swallowed, licking his dry lips as if afraid to make a sound let alone speak.
“Leo, stay with me. You okay? After all we’ve been through, you don’t really think any of us would abandon the rest and leave do you?”
Painfully, Leonardo cast his eyes downward. “It’s…” he muttered almost silently, “it’s my biggest fear.”
“Who, Leo? Who would leave?” Donatello reached out, placing both hands on his brother’s shoulders as if he were helping hold him up.
“Who wouldn’t, Donnie?” Leo exclaimed, his head snapping up. “Mikey would probably join the circus if we let him, Raph is constantly running off, and you,” he was obviously fighting off the threat of tears. “You could probably somehow make enough money you could build a private residence somewhere off the grid and science to your heart’s content uninterrupted instead of being stuck down here!” He took a deep breath. “All of you have so much to live for that’s not training and being a ninja, you all have way more to your identity than I do. I’m nothing without all of you, without the three of you I’m not a leader or the oldest brother...”
Donatello stood there, his jaw hanging open. Of all the ways he thought the discussion he was trying to have might turn out, this was not a direction he anticipated. The point of missing information DNA would provide was supposed to be a minor one in relation to the larger subject at hand, but instead it triggered another issue entirely.
“Okay, you need to sit down. NOW.” Leonardo was the one with the leader voice that made following an order non-negotiable. But as the family doctor, Donatello had his own tone that made it clear compliance was not optional. His expression softened after the other sat down in a still chair, albeit with a haggard breath. Using one leg, the scientist rolled over a stool that allowed for movement and navigated it underneath him to sit in front of his oldest brother.
“Leo, take a deep breath and hold it…” he paused once his instructions were followed, counting to five in his head. “Okay, now release.” Don reached for Leo’s hands and held them.
“First off… Mikey isn’t joining a circus. They’d expect him to work and it would cut into his video game time.” He had hoped the joke would lighten the mood but the air between them was still tense so he continued. “Second, Raph always comes back. This is his home and he’s the most territorial of all of us. Even if all of us left he’d probably still be here in the lair surviving off spite alone.” Intended somewhat half-heartedly, he was still disappointed it didn’t help.
“No,” Leo shook his head. “He just feels obligated to be here. Sometimes it’s like he picks fights with me just as an excuse to escape.”
“He doesn’t need an excuse. He would leave with or without permission even from Master Splinter. As for the fighting, you don’t have to argue back with him but you choose to. No,” he stopped the other from interrupting, “You don’t argue with anyone else like you do Raph. You say it’s because you’re trying to get him to stay because he doesn’t listen but this is a song and dance you two have been doing for years. It’s like you cover for him, giving him the option of enjoying a fight to save face whether he wants to stay or go.” He noted the disgruntled look on the leader’s face before continuing. “Leo, why do you think Mikey pranks Raph?”
Confused at the question, Leonardo didn’t hesitate. “He pranks all of us, Donnie. Not just Raph.”
“Yes, but he pranks Raph the most. Why is that?”
“You’re probably thinking about this more than Mikey does.”
“That’s because Mikey—like Raph—operates most on his instinct. Whereas you and I look before leaping, they run off full speed.”
“That’s true.”
“So answer my question.”
“The great the risk, the greater the reward?”
“That’s a you answer, Leo.”
“It’s valid! Raph gives Mikey the biggest reaction, so I’m sure it’s worth it to him. Especially when he decides to run and hide behind one of us.”
“He runs and hides behind you, I put a stop to that long ago.”
“Wait, really?”
“Yes. So that means Mikey takes on the risk of being punished, either by Raph directly or from you. Because what happens when he gets away from a beating and makes it to safety?”
“I tell him to leave Raph alone, but most of the time I give him extra chores or something as punishment depending on what he did.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because if I didn’t, Raph would feel I’m choosing favorites and letting him get away with it.”
“Exactly,” he smirked.
“Exactly what? Mikey should have consequences for his pranks.”
“Is that so? Then tell me… what was his punishment the last time he pranked you? Or me?”
Leo froze at the question as his mind quickly reeled to the most recent pranks he had been subject to as well as the ones he was aware that Don had been victim of. The look on his face was a sufficient answer for the genius.
“Exactly,” he smirked again.
“It doesn’t bother you and I as much, we just shrug it off. Probably why he loses interest in us and Raph is an easy target.”
“No, he isn’t,” Don wagged his finger. “Building a better mousetrap merely results in smarter mice.”
“Darwin, right?”
“I’m so proud of you,” he grinned. “Raph isn’t an easy target for Mikey, but Mikey is a good vent for Raph.”
“You’re saying…” Leo pondered over the statement. “Mikey pranks Raph to give him an excuse to blow up at him to vent off some frustration?”
“Bingo!”
“And I do the same by engaging in arguments with him? We’re just helping him channel his anger?”
“Pretty much. Mikey just pokes the bear on occasion, meanwhile you wrestle around with it until it’s ready to hibernate for winter.”
“We’re turtles, we hibernate too. Kinda.”
“Brumation, actually. Funny our conversation kinda comes around full circle!”
“If by full circle you mean, you’ve talked circles around me to the point my head is spinning, then sure.”
“So brumation helps regulate hormones that aid in warding off illness and improving life span…”
“What does that have to do with DNA tests?”
“It doesn’t.”
“Donnie! You’re confusing me!” He gave a frustrated glare at the other’s lighthearted chuckle. “So, you’ve not done DNA testing and… you think we should? Or don’t think we need to?”
“Personally, I’m interested in seeing the results. That said, I don’t find it necessary. But now I am curious… would you forbid it? You had a pretty strong reaction just now so I’m wondering if you had ever talked to Sensei about it.”
“We talked about a lot of things. You know that.”
“You’re avoiding a direct answer.”
“Fine,” he sighed. “When you first brought it up, Sensei didn’t discuss it with me. What he told you was strictly only his feelings on the matter. When we got older it got brought up once or twice, but I agreed with him that there just didn’t seem to be any point to it.”
“You do tend to echo his thoughts on most matters though,” he raised his hands up defensively seeing the upset look he received. “I’m not saying you don’t think for yourself! But many kids follow examples their parents set so it only makes sense that you two agree on most things.” Leo’s look relaxed, almost apologetically. “But still… you can come to the same conclusion for different reasons.”
“There didn’t seem to be a benefit and yet there was a risk of it being harmful, just like you said.”
He placed a consoling hand on the leader’s dominant bicep. “What about now that we’re older? Again, I don’t think it’s necessary and if you don’t want to open that can of worms I won’t mention it to the others. I’m just trying to understand how you feel it would impact us as a family and a team.”
Leo nodded, now wearing a neutral expression. “Now that we’re older, I don’t think it’s just my call to make. The others have a right to know—if they want to. You just promised you won’t mention it to them and I’d like to keep it that way. If one of them were to ask, unprompted by any other influence or suggestion, then it’s not my place to forbid it. Just don’t, as you say, worm any ideas into their heads.” He sighed, as if the words were heavy and he just released a burden.
It was Donatello’s turn to nod. “You have my word. The only exception I can think of is perhaps some sort of illness that would require genetic testing, but hopefully that won’t be an issue.”
“Hopefully. So, what is the issue? I’m starting to think I was better off taking my chances outside in the crossfire between Mikey and Raph.” Leo offered a half-hearted smirk to indicate the attempt at a joke despite his discomfort.
The purple-banded brother placed his hands in his lap, clasping them together. “Last disclaimer and then I’ll get to the point… in fact,” he got up and closed the door to the lab before resuming his position on the rolling stool. The blue-banded brother waited patiently.
“You’re the only one I trust to talk about this discreetly and privately… Because I know that despite whatever your initial reaction may or may not be, you’ll still give it serious contemplation before you pass judgement. It’s a good quality for a leader of course, but it’s always been one of your personality traits I’ve appreciated as a brother—and a friend.”
Leonardo did mean what he said earlier about wanting to be better about listening to all his brothers, he just didn’t anticipate such a heavy heart-to-heart conversation so soon after admitting it. But then a twinge of guilt slipped into his spirit, worried that perhaps he should have done this sooner… Donatello had said he had been thinking about this for a while, if it was something that had bothered him but he didn’t feel able to talk to him about it than that means he failed as a big brother. No matter what, he wanted each of them to consider him a safe spot in any storm; although ideally, he wished to be their harbor on any day good as well as bad.
The eldest reached over and grabbed the other’s hands in his right hand, gently squeezing encouragingly. “It is such a relief and an honor to hear you say that. I hope you’ve only kept this to yourself for as long as you were ready to have the discussion, because I hope you haven’t suffered in silence.”
Donatello shook his head. “No, just suffering in science,” he joked giving a small chuckle.
“I’m listening, Donnie. I love you and will always be here to listen.”
Suddenly nervous as all his logical reasons became fuzzy and overwhelmed with emotion, he took a deep breath to help bring everything back into focus.
“I love you too, Leo… and Raph as well. But I have a crush on Mikey.”
The lab was so silent that the quiet hum of the computer and various electrical devices was almost deafening. Not removing his hand that rested on top of both of Don’s clasped hands, Leo managed to sit up a little straighter than when he had leaned forward in encouragement.
“For how long?”
Donatello exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath since his admission. It was the first time he had said those words out loud and hearing them had sounded strange even to him, the fact that Leonardo’s only reaction was to ask a very calm, almost logical question was a relief.
“Too long. I’ve spent years thinking it was a passing infatuation, especially considering our limited social options. But the more people we’ve met, the more I realized that there really is something to be said for the natural attraction to one’s own kind. Which, in our case, is limited to four…” Leo only nodded, sensing a flood of emotions to soon burst free from the dam of control—reasons be damned, literally.
“You and Raph have always been like two sides of the same coin, but Mikey and I are opposites. Yet we’ve always managed to balance each other out so well that we all grew up not being jealous because we each had our own best friend as well as an extra set of good brothers… When we started to mature, I caught myself thinking how cute Mikey was even though you and Raph were obviously the more physically developed.” Leo blushed but Donnie resumed his ramble. “He drives all of us crazy and even though I’ve snapped at him a few times when he’s made a mess of my lab, I also would feel so bad I’d feel the need to hug and kiss him to apologize! I thought it was just me but then I realized how often he got away with things so I figured maybe it was just his baby brother charm and my brain was just confusing emotions and hormones.” He paused before continuing, “That’s when I started doing some research on turtle behavior which made me realize how neglected that part of our nature has been due to the human part of us being nurtured.”
“Isn’t the debate of nature versus nurture inconclusive? I thought they were basically equal forces.”
Excited, the scientist’s hands flew out in a wide gesture. “That’s just it! We’ve been nurtured by someone who was raised by humans and our influences are dominantly human as well—from the television we watch to the society we protect! Everything we’ve learned to acknowledge about our turtle nature has basically been us discovering on our own, often through trial and error. So,” he sat back proudly, “want to take a guess what happens to four solitary male turtles regardless of if they are isolated out in the wild or held in closed captivity?”
“I’m gonna guess the answer isn’t go out for pizza.” A small smile crossed the leaders lips, less at the humor of his response and more because of the infectious energy in front of him. As stoic as he was, he considered Donatello the calmest among the four. But when he got excited, he had little mannerisms that indicated his mood. Like he did with each of his family members, Leonardo noted telltale tics and seeing them warmed his heart knowing that it was a small detail he was aware of and perhaps no one else noticed.
“Honestly, same-sex behavior among animals isn’t new, it’s just science has a long process of catching up… it’s really more common than what’s been recognized.” Donatello swiveled around on the stool and was unlocking a small drawer as he spoke, removing a green journal that he produced with a flourish. “Observer bias—I should note, human observer bias—prevented a lot of large-scale studies until the 1990s. Think of all the turtles—and humans—alive right now that are older than that!”
“That would include Sensei’s lifetime…” Leonardo mused.
“Exactly! So far over 1500 nonhuman species have been observed already. But the reality is there’s documentation on human homosexuality as far back as Ancient Greece yet some cultures still consider it illegal or immoral.”
“So you want to do the DNA testing to make sure you and Mikey aren’t related?”
“I’m curious yes, but I’ve also come to the conclusion it doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t think this is me arguing, just trying to understand… are you saying it doesn’t matter because you don’t want it to matter? Or is this journal your list of reasons figuring out that this isn’t an issue at all?”
“Leo, I could kiss you I’m so excited to not only to finally talk about this but with someone who is actually understanding the words coming out of my mouth!”
“Yeah well,” he chuckled, “other than your words, let’s just keep everything else in your mouth.” The other grinned at the joke.
“My point is… scientific study has been impeded by ethical objections based on emotion rather than looking at facts. That leaves us with limited historical data for both humans and turtles, never mind mutant humanoid turtles. We’re back to figuring things out on our own.”
“Fair point.”
“From what I’ve been able to find, male turtles who’ve mated with other males have shown a tendency to be bisexual—which makes sense given that for many animals procreation is a high priority for survival…” The scientist counted off his digits on one hand, “Sustenance, shelter, sex—often the top needs for many living creatures.”
“Good thing we’ve got at least three fingers.” Even though he wasn’t contributing anything useful to the conversation, Leo sensed that engaging with even the lamest comments was helping the excited terrapin focus.
“Despite the fact that survival of the species is a driving force for many animals, that doesn’t mean all mating behavior is for procreation though. Which means that be it physical or emotional, that kind of companionship is still considered a basic need. That’s for the turtle component, but even when you factor in the human side… look how driven most of them are to be in relationships. Humans are not underpopulated whatsoever and don’t need to mate, but if every copulation resulted in the consequence of offspring the planet could not maintain the resources needed.”
“Donnie… I’m glad you’re excited to explain but we learned that pretty young just sitting with Sensei and watching his shows with him.”
“You’re right and I know… I just, I expected to have a succinct conversation when it finally did happen but I just was not expecting—” He stopped at the unexpected feeling of hands on his shoulders.
“I get it. Like you told me earlier, take a deep breath and keep going.” They smiled at each other and after a few breaths the conversation continued.
“Okay so, genetic variety is important for procreation whether human or animal. Obviously, not a factor for homosexual mating, correct? Well, not always… because science!” Leo managed to jump back just in time as Don’s hands flew up excitedly, almost in a jazz hands movement. “Sex reversal is a thing, even among some reptiles… granted, mostly lizards but then again, it’s really limited information so the prevalence of sex reversal at present cannot be properly estimated.”
The leader’s eyes widened. “So you’re worried that this could cause, like, gender change?!”
“The thought had crossed my mind. Which, a simple analysis could determine if our mutation has made us sterile, in which case it would be a non-issue. Or at least I think it would be. The probability this could occur is low but regardless I like to plan for all possible contingencies.”
“Of course, I appreciate that about you.”
“That realization caused me to question, what if we are all quadruplets? Then what are the consequences? Because absent consequences of genetic disasters, mating would have no health issues and possible health benefits.”
“There’s the concern of emotional trouble, just like in Sensei’s shows.”
“You can’t believe everything you watch on TV.”
“Yes, but what if things start out good and then end up bad?”
“But what if things start out good and only get better from there? Should we suffer without something we want—even need—just in case it isn’t perfect? That’s like saying we shouldn’t eat pizza because we could die from food poisoning.”
Leonardo sat back in his chair, arms crossed over the top part of his plastron again. Surely they were all biological brothers, considering how much they look alike. But what if they just look like any other slider turtle mutated into a human form? He supposed that for some species he wouldn’t be able to tell them apart, after all even without their masks he could see the physical differences between each of them that most others wouldn’t notice… when they were younger they sometimes fooled their father for fun and even after they received their colorful bandanas an occasional prank of switching them caused a laugh or two.
“Do animal shops usually sell turtles from the same clutch? Or do they swap them out to prevent siblings mating in case a customer buys multiple pets?”
Don grinned in an almost mad-scientist way. The only reason Leo wasn’t concerned was due to the fact he had seen that smile before in the rare times someone—usually him—followed his line of thinking. “Although people are usually more concerned about dogs and cats, the concern of littermate syndrome is the reason most reputable breeders as well as stores have policies in place about that.”
He sat there watching the other think quietly for a few minutes. “Well, what do you think?”
“I think I have a lot to think about it.”
“Understandable.”
After another minute had passed Leonardo stood up from his chair, but not before patting Donatello’s knee. They nodded at each other before the blue-banded brother approached the lab door, but just as he opened it Michelangelo’s fist stopped in mid-air.
“Dude, your ninja skills are terrifying! How did you know I was about to knock?!”
Leo smiled, his heart warming at the almost superhero magic his baby brother sometimes attributed to the leader. “Mikey, I’m more concerned when I can’t hear your footsteps than when I can.” He knew that reason would be accepted without question, avoiding any others. Or so he thought.
“What were you two doing in here with the door closed?”
“Leo was hiding in here to avoid Raph’s wrath at your latest prank,” Donnie answered quickly. The one in question reacted with mock embarrassment to continue the guise.
“Donnie! Snitches get stitches!” He threatened jokingly. Michelangelo laughed, whether at the two of them or remembering his successful prank was uncertain—probably both.
“Do that, Leo, and Donnie may have a less gentle touch for you next time!” The orange-banded brother slipped past the oldest and strolled over to the genius. “I mean, look at his handiwork—I can barely see where he stitched up my arm last time!” He held out the appendage in question right in front of purple-banded brother.
Leonardo observed the interaction. Mikey thrusting his arm out a bit too close to Donnie who instinctively reached out to touch it, allowing his fingers to graze a little longer than normal as if admiring the slight scar before looking up and giving a soft chuckle. “I was there, Mikey, I know what it looks like. But I’m glad you took care of it so that it could heal well.”
It was such a normal interaction. A baby brother being overdramatic and having almost non-existent boundaries for personal space with the doting doctor humoring him just as the rest of them always did. Yesterday he would have thought nothing more about their words and actions, but today… After Donatello’s confession he noticed how his breath slightly hitched when the arm was practically shoved in his face and the deep breath he took—whether to focus or take in the scent of skin he could not be sure. How he gently grasped the limb to lower it then traced along the path of the former wound with both his eyes and fingers before the longer-than-necessary reply. If it were him or Raphael, they would have gently shoved Michelangelo away and reminded him they’d already seen it before then laughing at the insignificant interaction. Was this the way Donnie always reacted around Mikey and he just hadn’t noticed it? Or was it only reserved for private interactions that he only allowed Leo to witness now after being privy to his private thoughts? He looked between the two, one with a soft glow on his face and the other beaming brightly as he responded.
“I didn’t do anything, you’re the one who took care of me!” The tone of voice the youngest used was almost radiant, given how appreciative he sounded one might have thought the wound was almost fatal rather than just a deep cut.
Subconsciously Leonardo felt the urge to clear his throat, as if breathing suddenly became difficult. Instead he ended up choking on a cough, awkwardly breaking the vibe between his youngest brothers.
“Excuse me, I,” he coughed again for good measure hoping it made the initial action more believable, “need to get something to drink.” As he walked away, he overheard the other two talking about dinner.
~*~*~*~*~