Chapter Text
The week before; August
Dazai’s hand hurt. His bandages itched. His hands felt sticky. His eyes were watery. His body felt clammy. His-
A knock , annoying and abrupt, came at his door and kicked Dazai head first out of his thoughts. The teen groaned before he muttered an irritated “come in” as Dazai kept his focus on the sparrow(a female) he was drawing.
“Good evening, Dazai!” Mori’s voice was a sing-song tone as he intruded into Dazai’s room. He scowled.
“Hi.” Dazai didn’t even turn to face his father - keeping hunched over his desk, his fingers gripping the pencil like he’d drop dead if the wood left his hand. Mori sighed.
“Well? How have you been?” Mori could be so predictable. Like right now, Dazai could tell Mori will stop smiling like a creep in two minutes to drop the news Dazai guessed would be horrible. That’s all his father existed to do, it appeared.
“Fine.”
Mori sighed again, the man growing less cheerful. And in three, two, one …
“Dazai, I have to tell you something.” His father smiled again, like Dazai wasn’t dredging the words that might come out of Mori’s mouth. ‘We’re moving!’ ‘You’re brother finally died of the illness !’ ‘I will be away on a business trip, so watch over Elise!’ Dazai shivered, knowing the never faltering grin that’d say those words.
…
“You’ll be going back to school next week!”
What.
Mori couldn’t do that! Dazai had lived happily home-schooled for years , ever unchanging! What made the idiot change his mind?! Doesn’t he remember kindergarten!? Dazai could feel his eyes watering. Dazai heard his muffled screams of protest, pretty sure it’d wake Elise up. … Dazai didn’t care about the brat. She could be left on the street for all he cares. What matters is that he’ll die if he goes back to school!
The second his breathing calmed down, Mori continued.
“Now, now… You’re going to be fine! I pulled a couple of strings and… I got you into a class that will cater to your special needs !” Mori seemed to fail at seeing how that was worse.
“But I’m normal !!! If I’m going to school, why do I need to go to a “special” class that’s full of idiots?!” Mori sighed.
“Dazai, remember what Dr. Taneda said. And no one is an ‘idiot’.” Dazai scowled.
“I know! I know! Shut up!” Dazai piped. “Just because I’m different doesn’t mean I’m not normal !!! Why can’t I just stay home instead?!”
“I got a promotion, Dazai. I can’t spend time on your assignments anymore, let alone how they’re getting “boring” now. Seriously! How is college algebra boring?” Mori wiped his face, frowning. “Elise is going to school, too, so don’t feel all alone!” Dazai’s father tried to lighten up the mood, which only made Dazai feel worse.
“You’re horrible!!! You’re vile, and gross, and ugly!! Odasaku would know how to make me feel better!!” Dazai cried, biting back another wave of tears.
“Well “Odasaku” isn’t here, right now, Dazai.” Mori chirped through gritted teeth.
“Well maybe he would be if you told me what was wrong with him!!” Dazai sobbed. Mori seethed.
“Dazai, we’ve talked about this. I can’t disclose sensitive information at the moment.”
“When!? When! When!!!” The teen screamed. Mori rubbed his temples.
“When Oda gets better!” An exasperated sigh escaped Mori before he turned to leave. “Okay, how about this? If I don’t get a call by the last hour of the day, I’ll pick you up early and we can go see Oda, okay?” A superficial smile curved Mori’s lips and his voice grew quiet and Dazai wiped his tears. The tradeoff wasn’t really fair, but if Dazai got to see Odasaku again… It’d be worth going to school for a week.
“... Fine.” He sniffed. “Now go away.” And Mori fortunately left, closing the door behind him to go check up on Elise or whatever the man did after dealing with Dazai. Dazai whimpered and curled up into himself on his chair. Why did Mori have to ruin his perfectly good drawing mood? Now Dazai couldn’t even look at his paper. So Dazai ripped it up and threw it into the trashcan before he sprawled himself onto his bed, coddling into the blankets, hiding his teary face into it.
Dazai’s thoughts ran and irritated him beyond belief, groaning at his fruitless attempts at falling asleep. What a pain. And it’s all Mori’s fault! His father didn’t know one thing about Dazai, and Dazai could guarantee it! If there was anyone in Dazai’s painful life who understood him, it’d be his half brother and his absent mother! Anyone else sees Dazai as a wart; a dead weight, and Dazai couldn’t believe anyone who said otherwise. And-!
Morning sun spilled onto Dazai’s coffee brown hair, and Dazai groaned, not wanting to even flit his eyes open. Today was going to be the worst day of his life.