Chapter Text
Chapter
~Liberty Point of View~
I sighed as I leaned forward while ensuring to keep my eyes on the road before me. There were too many times recently that I had almost failed to keep my unit safe in this godforsaken place. I could hear Carter grunting in pain from the most recent narrow escape. Kelly was no doubt stitching the deep laceration from a bullet grazing him at a random attack that we should have been prepared for after leaving the base. I knew that Carter was younger than most of my team and that made him much less aware of how close he came to dying from his mistake.
It was those types of close calls that made me hate that my stepsister was my unit’s combat medic. It was impossible for me not to worry about her on top of worrying about the safety of those that I commanded. Afterall, she had unexpectedly replaced the last medic after he had a mental breakdown due to his inability to handle the mental overload that came from being in a war zone for extended periods of time and patching up people that he had become close to. I knew that some people just couldn't cope with war and the reality of what soldiers' face when fighting in a foreign land. It didn't help that this tour had been particularly brutal.
This place and tour gave me plenty of moments where I truly regretted not making more of an attempt to talk her out of her choice to enlist a few years after I enlisted. If I had known then that in a few more years she would be my responsibility, I would have had an intervention and prevented her from choosing to follow in my footsteps. Being a leader in war was hard enough without being responsible for the safety of one of the few people in the world that I cared for. It wasn’t surprising, considering my family, that Kelly was the only one that I was even related to that I was still associated with at all. It was her innocence and kindness that made her different from all of the others.
Kelly was not like our family members, and she certainly was not like me. If anything, Kelly could be seen as my opposite. My twin stepsisters were blessed with a life full of happiness and both of them were sheltered from the darkness of reality. Kelly becoming our combat medic revealed a much harsher reality that she was used to. Unlike myself, who had been all too well aware of the worst that life could offer for the majority of my life. It was that trauma that made me a fighter and survivor. It was through the years of struggle that I gained the understanding and strength that made me an exceptional soldier. I was made for this, and I still had my doubts that Kelly was suited for this life.
I shook my head slightly when I noticed that Tristan had turned onto the road that would lead us into the town. I took a breath to force away the thoughts, knowing that the objective needed to be the focus. It wouldn’t do any good for my distraction to cause a problem. Especially considering that we are entering one of the worse places to be in Afghanistan. I leaned forward while reaching for my weapon in order to be prepared for anything that might happen. I scanned the path ahead as I switched my safety off.
"Hey, you know those books you were reading back at base?" Carter questioned behind me as I spared a slight glance to see Carter staring at Kelly.
"Twilight?" Kelly questioned Carter in that absent way as she placed gauze over the wound as I winced at the reminder of how close he had come, just inches.
"Yeah, my sister was telling me something about them redoing the movies or something." Carter said as I rolled my eyes at his choice of idle conversation and attempted to distract himself from the pinching and pulling of skin.
"Stephanie Myers is supposed to be continuing them." Kelly replied as I snorted in response thinking of how much I had to force myself to read them the first time and Tristan smirked as he slowed down further in preparation "I don't get why you don't really like the story, Liberty. They aren't bad books, and the movies were pretty good."
"Liberty just can't understand a weak character." Tristan said without taking his eyes off the road, but I could tell he was amused by his statement "You have to admit that Bella is a little weak, especially in comparison to our fearless leader. Liberty would never be able to relate to the story because of that. Otherwise, she would love Twilight like she loves all those books she always is burying her head in the moment she gets free time."
"True, but not everyone can be held to the standard that Liberty sets. Well, no one can actually." Kelly commented with a slight chuckle as Tristan nodded beside me in agreement.
I raised my eyebrow at him as I fought the urge to roll my eyes at my sister’s comparison. Instead, I turned my attention back to the road and buildings that we were passing. The lack of people in public has me releasing a breath and releasing just a little bit of the tension from my shoulders. The early morning mission may work out in our favor in the end. The limited light and people still being in bed would make it easier for my team. I just wanted to capture the target and escape without any more incidents. I just wanted one mission without a single shot fired honestly. I raised my hands when I verified the sight of the target building ahead. Tristan slowed to a stop at my signal as I moved to switch on the coms to communicate with my team.
“Alright, everyone knows what to do. Gear up and safety off. You have all been briefed on the target package. Keep on point.” I commanded over the radio as the other Humvee pulled to a stop.
“Major…” Tristan murmured motioning with his head to Carter and Kelly still seated in the backseat of the vehicle.
“You both are staying in the Humvee. Carter, move to the driver’s seat and keep your eyes open.” I commanded knowing that Kelly could not enter the scene until it was at very least secured properly “Hopefully we won’t need you, Kelly. Have your bag ready in case the target is injured during capture.”
“Gotcha, will do.” Kelly replied as I nodded and flashed her a thankful smile which she returned with a slightly worried one.
I rolled my shoulder before turning to my team that were waiting for my direction. I pushed aside the worry to put my focus solely back on the mission at hand. It was important that we capture Abdul-Azim and secure him for transfer back to base for the higher ups to interrogate. This is what we did, and we did better than most of the other teams. I made the hand signs signaling for Scott and Tony to round the back of the building. Then I glanced at Clark and Parker, motioning for them to tag the door for entry into the building. Peter nodded silently before placing the explosives as everyone moved into a position for breaching. The next few moments were simply listening to the breathing of Tristan at my side in all the stillness of the morning.
I gave the signal to blow the explosions once the others confirmed a safe distance. The moment the trigger was pressed, Clark released our team K-9, Zeus, from his restraint. Zeus shot forward like a lightning bolt through the blow entry way. I followed after the dog with the others at my side knowing that this was all instinct at this point. We were a well-oiled machine, moving through the building with practiced ease securing the building and shooting as needed. It wasn't long before we reached the center of the building and secured our target. The mission took only moments between entry and securing the package for command. I would have been celebrating if not for the sick feeling that overcame me that had me freezing. As I was kneeling with a knee on the back of Abdul-Azim to secure his wrists, I caught movement by the other entrance to the room.
"Take him and go." I growled out as shoved the prisoner at Clark when I noticed the vest and trigger on the unknown male "Get him to the Humvee, now."
I turned quickly away from Clark and the prisoner while raising my weapon to pull the trigger. I was vaguely aware that Peter was doing the same thing. Everything around me seemed to slow at this moment. I could hear Clark command the prisoner. I heard the sound of footsteps going away from me showing that Clarke was moving the prisoner. I heard Zeus’ growls in the deadly silent air and could see him move through the room after the male. I heard the horrifying sound of the click of the trigger being pressed as I pulled the trigger on my weapon. Zeus latched onto the male as my bullet struck him in the chest. I dropped my weapon in a split-second decision and dove for Peter. I shoved him toward the entrance as hard as I could and used my body to shield him. Then all I felt was the blinding pain from being struck from the device exploding behind me.
~Time Lapse
All that I felt was pain the moment that I became aware. I struggled as I tried to control my body and open my eyes to stop the feeling of being lost in darkness. I felt like my body had turned into cement and it took several moments to manage to open my eyes. All I saw was the blinding white that caused more pain than I could tolerate in the moment. I closed my eyes as the strength to keep them open left me. I felt a heaviness settle in my chest as the pain spread through me. I struggled for a few seconds before succumbing back to the darkness.
~Time Lapse
I was completely unaware of the time that had passed as I struggled with my eyes once more. I barely managed to move my head this time. The action itself caused a sharp stabbing pain that had me stiffening with the desire to scream at the top of my lungs in pain. The sound of the beeping around me was overwhelming. The fire within me made me feel like I was being torn apart from within. I was not in control of any part of my body. I felt exhausted as the darkness consumed me and this time, I welcomed it in order to escape the fire spreading underneath my skin.
~Time Lapse
The first thing that I noticed when I became aware again was the beeping of the monitors around me. I heard the sound quickened as I slowly became more aware of my surroundings. Years of experience kept me from trying to move right away as I took stock of my body. I swallowed feeling the dryness that caused a harsh ache. I moved my fingers into a fist as the feeling slowly returned to my limbs. Everything felt heavy and I couldn’t move as I wished to as a face appeared above me. The hazy figure reached out to touch my face as I struggled to recognize the scent that was calming to me.
“Calm yourself, Liberty.” The blurry person murmured as I felt the gentle touch on my head “Just rest. You need to heal.”
“I gave her more morphine.” Another voice explained to me, as that feeling of morphine surged through me within seconds.
“Just rest, Liberty. You are okay.” The person commented softly as I was helpless against the feeling of comfort it offered me.
I closed my eyes as the strength left me under the weight of the powerful pain killer. I faded away into the darkness with the confusion on why I recognized that voice and scent. I didn’t have the ability to focus on it. I just knew that I knew this person and being near them brought me comfort.
~Time Lapse
The world seemed clearer the next time I opened my eyes. I managed to get my eyes to focus as I winced attempting to sit up. I felt the dull ache of a familiar type of pain. The first thing I noticed was the beeping of the hospital monitors and I immediately began looking for my sister. As I looked around, I couldn't help but wonder where she was. I was severely surprised that she wasn't here already throwing her arms around me, like she had so many times in the past.
"Liberty!" A voice sounded from the door.
I turned quickly making my head spin slightly. I tried to focus my eyes while expecting to see my sister, Kelly. I was completely unprepared for the face I saw before me with my vision cleared again. It was impossible that I saw her. There was no way she was here. I couldn't grasp her being the one to come to me in this hospital room.
"You had me so worried dear!" She said as she came towards me as quickly as she could.
I froze in shock as her arms wrapped around me. I could feel her warmth while taking notice of the wetness from tears on her cheek against mine. I couldn't help but think that I didn't feel dead. In fact, I could feel the dull pain from all the healing. It was a familiar ache. If I were dead, how could I feel the pain? Wasn't heaven supposed to be free of pain? What was going on? Did I die in that explosion?
"Grandma?" I whispered to her in shock as she pulled back looking at me and there was no mistaking the woman touching my face stunning me further with the warmth of her hand.
"I thought I was going to lose you too!" My dead grandma said with a heartbroken expression as her hands clung to my shoulders.
I blinked in confusion as I stared at her. It took a moment to process her words as I tried to adjust to being awake and the strangeness of this situation. I didn’t understand how she could have lost me when I had in fact lost her many years ago. It wasn’t like I could have forgotten that truth. It had been one of the most painful experiences of my life and her death was easily one of the worst days of my entire life. It still hurt after over a decade of dealing with the pain of losing the other person left that cared about me as a person. I couldn’t exactly comprehend why she looked so broken and relieved in this moment over my apparent ‘survival’. If she was here, then clearly there was no other alternative than the fact that I had to be dead. Right?
"Am I dead?" I questioned her causing her eyes to fill with tears and she seemed to choke out a sob before shaking her head quickly.
"Oh, Liberty, you are not dead. You have no idea how happy I am that you are alive!" She explained as I could feel my hands shake in confusion "The doctors don't know how you survived the accident when the others died, but you did. I am so glad you are okay. I am so relieved that you are awake. I was beginning to think you would never wake up."
"What is going on?" I asked her as I felt overwhelmed with confusion and shock.
I couldn’t grasp how I was alive if my grandmother was standing in front of me. It just didn’t make any sense to me. I felt my lungs seize slightly as I wondered if this woman was truly my grandmother at all. I couldn’t find a logical reason for me being alive and a woman that died over a decade ago was standing in front of me. I clinched my hands against the sheets on the hospital bed while I took several deep breaths. My lungs moved and filled with the needed oxygen. I felt like I was still alive at this moment. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I swallowed thickly as I stared at my dead grandmother in the flesh. None of this made any sense to me.
"I am so sorry, Liberty." My dead grandmother said brokenly grabbing my hand to comfort me before sitting on the bed next to me "What do you remember?"
"You mean the explosion? I remember everything about it." I said softly before pausing thinking that it was possible that I had a concussion seeing that there is a dead person in front of me "That isn't the confusing part of this."
"You were in a car accident, Liberty." My dead grandmother explained with teary eyes as I quickly shook my head in denial "You may be a little confused. You have been in a coma for quite a while.”
"I am not really confused about how I got hurt. What confuses me is the fact that you are here…” I muttered before biting my lip and shaking my head “Okay, where is Kelly then?”
"Who is Kelly?" She questioned softly, still gripping my hands as I looked at her in disbelief at yet another thing that didn't make sense.
"What do you mean? Who is Kelly?" I asked in total confusion and slightly offended by the question "Kelly is my sister. You know that…"
"Liberty, honey, you are a little confused. You don't have a sister named Kelly. Your sister, Amber, was in the accident with you." The woman said, confirming that she couldn't be my grandmother if she didn't know Kelly.
"I am aware of who Amber is." I snapped causing her to flinch as I turned back to the doctor looking at me confused "Kelly is my emergency contact and my sister. Now will you tell me where she is? Kelly would have been the one to get me out of that building after the explosion?"
"I am told that the only surviving family that you have is your grandmother, Virginia." He replied softly as I felt nauseous when he looked at the woman confirming she wasn't a ghost or something in my mind.
"My grandmother is dead, doctor." I deadpanned seriously as the woman gasp in shock and the Doctor's eyes to widen in surprise "She has been for over a decade at this point. So, where the fuck is my sister?"
"Liberty!" The woman said seriously forcing me to look at her "I get that you are confused. You were in a bad car accident. Your father and mother along with your siblings, Jason, and Amber, were with you when it happened. I know it is hard and that it is traumatic to lose them, but I am here. I am not dead."
"I wasn't in a car accident. I was hurt on deployment, so if someone doesn't tell me where my sister is I am going to flip out." I replied a little harshly but what the fuck was going on? None of this made sense to me.
"Liberty, you do not know a girl named Kelly. At least, you don't have a sister by that name." She said seriously as I shook from the anger of it.
"You aren't my grandmother; she knew my sister very well. Stop pretending to be her! Even if you were a fucking ghost, you would know who Kelly is. Just who are you?" I questioned her in anger, panic, pain, and confusion.
That woman didn't say anything just looked to the doctor with tears filling her eyes. Why the fuck was she crying? I was the one that was dead with people that didn't seem to realize they were dead or surrounded by people that didn't know my own life. Being dead doesn't change your life story, right? If she were my grandmother, she would know why Kelly and Megan were a part of my life. This woman couldn't be her. I really didn't understand any of this. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the woman that look so much like my grandmother. I needed to find Kelly and the other members of my team. I needed to make sure that everyone else was okay despite the strange situation that I found myself in.
"It is possible that she lost her memory…" The doctor explained with a frown looking at me in concern "Despite there being no signs of a concussion or any physical aliment to cause it. However, I will have scans taken to ensure something was not overlooked."
"No." I replied narrowing my eyes on the doctor that also seemed to believe this woman was related to me "I am not confused. I remember everything. I don't know what you are trying to pull here, but I know that I haven't forgotten a thing. I just want my sister. Just find her."
"Liberty." The imposter said seriously as I shook my head at the warning tone in her voice at my disrespect towards a doctor.
"Just leave me alone." I growled out seriously glaring harshly at the imposter while trying to maintain a semblance of calm despite my head spinning "You can't be my Grandma GG. I don't know what is going on, but I know that. I want my sister. I don’t need you here. I want Kelly."
"Perhaps it would be best to give her some space, Virginia. I will get you after we run some more tests since I know that your shift is beginning soon." The doctor said to my grandmother’s lookalike as she nodded in agreement after a few moments.
"Okay, if you feel that is best then I will stop by to check on her later." Virginia’s doppelganger said with tears in her eyes attempting to hug me as I tensed shaking my head knowing that I didn't want this woman touching me anymore.
"I will put the order for the scans." The doctor commented turning to me with golden eyes causing me to narrow my eyes on him as the doppelganger left the room.
"There is nothing wrong with me. You said that there was nothing wrong with me. I didn’t lose my memories." I replied as the Doctor tilted his head and looked at me with a strange look in his eyes.
"There is nothing wrong with ensuring that something was not overlooked.” The doctor commented as I huffed slightly as he smirked at me in seeming amusement “I will put in the order for the scans, and someone should be up shortly to take you for them.”
I shrugged knowing that he would not allow me to reason my way out of this. I took a shaky breath when the doctor finally exited the room and then shut the door leaving me alone once more. I shivered slightly as I wrapped my arms tightly around my middle in comfort. I was more confused at this moment than I had ever been in my life. It didn’t make any sense that there would be a random doppelganger there when I woke up. However, it just wasn’t possible that she was my grandmother if I was alive. I pushed my hand against my chest and felt my heartbeat. It was strong and steady despite the deep chill in my bones from the sight of my dead grandmother. There had to be a logical reason for all of this.
~Time Lapse
I frowned in confusion while sliding to the floor in a bathroom located in an empty hospital room. I had finally managed to lose the nurse that had been watching me. I couldn't quite grasp what was happening to me. I hated the tests that they had been running on me. It was clear that the people here were friends with the woman pretending to be my grandmother that was in my room when I woke up. They were all looking at me confused and concerned as if I were insane. If one more person told me that I just didn't remember my life, I might go postal on them. I put my head in my hands briefly wondering if they were right in a way because none of this made sense.
I sighed before drawing in a deep breath again. If I wasn't dead, then what was happening to me? I could be in a coma, I thought to myself quickly. I knew being that close to what had to be an explosion that was rigged to take out an entire building would have resulted in a lot of injuries. However, I didn't feel like I was injured anymore. Sure, I was sore as hell still. But I could move without restriction. So, it was possible that the feeling of confusion and haze were coming from being in a coma and the meds that they were providing in a German hospital? This certainly didn't seem like the German hospitals that I have been in before. It honestly didn't seem like any hospital I had been in before. If it wasn't then where was I?
I flinched as I heard pounding on the door that shattered my focus again. I really thought it would have taken longer for someone to find me. I stood suddenly to go block the door from opening when I caught something from the corner of my eye. It felt like an arrow hitting me point black in the chest as I caught my reflection in the mirror. I gasped in shock while stumbling back until I hit something solid as my heart pounded painfully in my chest. The only thing I could focus on was a single question at the sight in the mirror. How was I staring at her? How the fuck was this my reflection? This wasn’t possible!
"No!" I mumbled in disbelief, staring at the face of a girl that only haunted my darkest nightmares "no, no, no!"
I felt all the strength left in my body leave as I lost my balance and hit the floor in almost slow motion as my brain struggled to catch up to my body. My knees slammed into the ground and rattled my body, but I couldn’t fully even process that I had fallen. I could only feel the overwhelming despair and panic at the sight of a teenage girl in the mirror. How was this possible? This wasn't possible, right? It just couldn't be possible. How the fuck was the face staring back at me a teenager? How the fuck was the face that was a haunting reminder of a time that tormented me in the mirror as my reflection again? Had my mind finally broken from everything and made me completely insane? There was simply no way that I was trapped as a teenager once more. How was this happening?
"Miss, you need to breath." A soft feminine voice directly as warm hands grabbed at me "Breath."
"I can't!" I somehow managed to say through the shock and confusion that had made my lungs cave in on themselves.
"You need to calm down, try to take a deep breath." The woman directed as my vision blurred from the lack of air.
My chest continued to tighten painfully. I would breathe if I were fucking could. My chest burned as my head spun with pure shock. The need for oxygen causes just as much trouble as the shocking realization that there was something seriously wrong happening to me. It was all too much to handle at this moment. Everything was too much to process and my mind couldn’t quite catch up. Breathing was fucking impossible when I wasn't even sure if I was alive or in a twisted dream, or if I was crazy. How? How was I a fucking teenager again? None of this should be happening.
"She is having a panic attack." The voice said seriously as hands shook my shoulders to steady me or call to my attention.
No shit Sherlock, I thought, of course I was having a panic attack. If I wasn’t already dead, then I was sure that I was about to die here on this bathroom floor surrounded by idiots. I didn’t think this was heaven if I was dead and I hoped when I died that I would be okay again. This was hell. My worst nightmare was being trapped as my teenage self with no escape from the darkness that I had barely survived the first time. I couldn’t force my lungs to work properly against the panic of having to go back home to them. The very thought of having to live through any of that again was enough to make my blood run cold. I barely flinched when I felt something sharp being jabbed into my neck. Before I could comprehend what was going on something was forced on my face. I barely had time to recognize the oxygen mask before I was succumbing to the safety of my own mind. This time I welcomed the darkness readily without a struggle wishing to wake up as a thirty-year-old soldier and not my fifteen-year-old self.
- Time Lapse
This time I knew that I was heavily medicated when I opened my eyes. There was a haze that settled over me that spoke of some good medications that were aimed at keeping me calm. It was definitely the good stuff as I struggled to even recognize that I was once again in the hospital room. I could barely concentrate on anything other than the annoyance of the oxygen mask on my face. I lifted a shaky hand with some struggle to remove the mask and caught the sight of my grandmother at my side. No, the doppelganger, my mind supplied when I looked at her sleeping in a rather uncomfortable position in the chair. I blamed the similarities between her and my actual grandmother for the softening of my heart. The sound of the door opening drew my attention to the doctor entering my room.
“Virginia has been here all day and refused to leave your side after she heard what happened.” The doctor explained as I nodded once to show that I was listening “I am pleased to see that you appear to be calmer than how we found you. You gave the staff quite a scare.”
“I didn’t mean to cause any issues.” I commented as I bit my lip in discomfort at the scene that I had caused “I am not normally so unhinged. This is a rather confusing situation, Doctor…”
“Doctor Carlisle Cullen.” Doctor Cullen said with a smile that seemed much too bright for the mood I was in “Has your memory returned?”
“If I say yes, then will you let me get out of here? I have things to research.” I replied as Doctor Cullen chuckled in amusement and shook his head “There is nothing wrong with me.”
“I have not found anything physically wrong with you. I do believe that we need to keep you for observation, especially with the panic attack you had. You have been through a lot with the loss of your family and the injuries that you sustained.” Doctor Cullen explained as I sighed heavily knowing that he had a point.
“Where am I at anyway? I don’t recognize this hospital.” I questioned him as I shifted to sit up in the bed and Doctor Cullen raised his eyebrow slightly.
“I was unaware that you are so familiar with hospitals that you could recognize one. Your records show no serious injuries in your records.” Doctor Cullen commented as I shrugged knowing that he would most likely contradict me if I explained “You are at the hospital in Forks, Washington. Your grandmother had you transferred here from Texas after they cleared you stable enough to be moved closer to her."
"Carlisle?" Virginia said to him while glancing at me in concern before looking at him with so much hope that made me sick to my stomach.
"I was just about to explain that the scans are clean. There is no physical reason for Liberty's memory loss. I believe it may be from the trauma and in time those memories should return. I plan on keeping Liberty here for a few days for observation.” Doctor Cullen offered to the doppelganger as I huffed slightly in annoyance at the fact that he still didn’t even consider that I was telling the truth.
"I don't know how many times I have to say it! I remember everything!" I said in anger because I was tired of saying it and of them not understanding that something was very wrong here.
"Liberty!" Virginia stated sternly as I narrowed my eyes at her "Be nice to Doctor Cullen, he pulled a lot of strings for me to be able to bring you here. I won’t tolerate you disrespecting him, young lady."
"Fine." I replied seriously tired of arguing the point glancing at the doctor "I am sorry, Doctor Cullen."
“What should we do until she remembers then?” Virginia questioned the doctor as I sighed heavily while the doctor just glanced between us.
“Liberty’s body has been under stress these days. It is quite possible that with rest she will remember in time. It is also possible that these memories might take quite some time to return.” Carlisle explained to Virginia as I wrinkled my nose in confusion and knew that I couldn’t remember memories that weren’t true to begin with.
“Thank you, Doctor Cullen.” Virginia murmured as I felt the energy drain from me again.
"I have left instruction with the night nurses for her care. They shall page me if anything abnormal occurs.” Doctor Cullen replied as he stepped towards the doorway before glancing at me with that strange look in his eyes again “It was a pleasure to officially meet you, Liberty. Do try not to stress out the staff with another disappearance.”
"Sure." I said fighting to wince at the disruption that I had caused earlier, and he looked amused at my response.
"Goodnight, Carlisle." Virginia said before giving me a stern look causing me to sigh deeply at the clear behave look that I had gotten from my true grandmother many times.
"Goodnight, Doctor Cullen." I said not really caring too as he seemed to stare at me a little amused over it.
"Rest well." Doctor Cullen said nodding as he stepped from the room as the woman turned to me as I fought the urge to flinch at the look that was full of softness and hope.
"You should go home." I murmured seriously, forcing myself to soften when she flinched at the statement "Those chairs are not comfortable. You work here, and you don't need to sleep here as well. I am fine and will just sleep with the medication they gave me. You need your rest."
"Are you sure?" Virginia questioned me as I nodded before she smiled as if sensing I needed space before I tensed when she approached to kiss my forehead just like my actual grandmother always did "Get some rest dear, I will return in the morning."
“Good night.” I whispered to her as she exited the room, and I drew in a shaky breath when that door finally closed again.
My hands shook slightly at the emotions swirling through me. The simple kiss to the forehead brought back so many good memories. There were not many of them from my childhood and when I was a teenager, they always surrounded my grandmother. I spent a decade missing her gentle presence and loving actions that spoke of how much she cared about me. My head was filled with the notion that maybe I was in a coma and was trying to recall a simpler life. A life without all the darkness and one where my grandmother was always there for me. I felt my fingers twitch as I recalled how real she felt and how everything felt so far. I shook my head and pushed away those thoughts to focus on the thing that worried me the most.
I couldn’t understand the lack of Kelly’s presence in my life. I needed to find out what was going on with that since Kelly was the only thing left from my childhood that I still associate with. Kelly was the positive thing in my life. I was also close to her twin sister and my sister, Megan. But Kelly was always there for me and never failed to be there the moment that I opened my eyes. Even in a coma and trapped in a fucked-up dream state, I would have thought of her and written her into this strange dream. Everything in this dream was very strange honestly and made me feel like there was so much more going on here. The way my father died here, the lack of many of my siblings, the grandmother that died so long ago, and even the way that I ended up in the hospital was wrong.
My thought turned to how different my life would have been if that really had happened. Would my mother have turned into an alcoholic? Would that monster have ever set his eyes on me? Would my path have crossed with Kelly and Megan? How would a sober mother and having my father in my life longer have changed things for me? I would be a completely different person without the experiences that made me who I actually was. I wasn’t this teenage girl that lost her family in a random accident. I was a soldier that used what I survived to fight for others every single day. I made myself into an image of someone that survived the worst of humanity. As tempting as the dream was, I was no longer the teenager I once was. I was a soldier and a leader of an amazing team.
I shifted to draw my knees up to my chest. My fingers felt the scar and I drew in a shaky breath as I moved up my pants to reveal the long scar. I felt strangely vindicated at the sight of such a horrible scar on my leg. It confirmed what I already knew despite all the evidence around me to the contrary. I had gotten this scar on my first tour when I was a few years older than this body actually was. My fingers twitched slightly as I moved the gown to see the scar on my side from taking a bullet on a mission. The other side had a faded scar from the harsh flames I survived when I was just thirteen. Then my eyes landed on my wrist and found the tattoo ‘De oppresso Liber’ that I had for years.
My fingers moved to my neck, and I found it bare. My eyes focused on the tattoo to maintain my calm. I may not have had my necklace but there were marks that told my story. I had my scars from war and the worst experience of my life. I had the tattoo that spoke of me being a part of the greatest team and my connection to my chosen family. No matter what the doctor or the doppelganger said about my memories, I knew that I hadn’t forgotten anything about my life. I forced myself to lay back down in the bed and prayed that I could manage to fall asleep. If I could fall back to sleep, then I could wake up and be back in my own reality instead of this strange coma dream. I stared at the ceiling as I tried to calm my mind as I thought about the doctor’s name and the location. The fact that Doctor Cullen was my doctor, and I was in Forks only confirmed that I was in a fucked-up dream. I would wake up in a hospital in Germany and everything will be right in my world again. First, I had to fall asleep inside of a dream and that in itself was a strange thing to do.
~Time Lapse
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling with a feeling of emptiness. I had fallen asleep and woke up many times in the same room. I was starting to lose hope that I could simply wake up from this strange dream. I wanted to wake up in Germany and see my team. I wanted to hear Kelly scold me for putting myself in this situation again and worrying about her with my injuries. I just wanted to stop being in a strange dream with my dead grandmother and a doctor from the twilight book. But each prick from the nurse adjusting medications or taking blood caused even more confusion. I could feel pain just as clearly as I normally did, and nothing was waking me up from this strange place.
I sighed as I glanced at my wrist to see the dark bruising from pinching myself. I had never been so trapped in my own head before. I just wanted to return to reality. I glanced to the side when I heard the door and saw a smiling doppelganger there. I blinked tiredly as she shuffled into the room with bags in her hands. I took a breath as I forced myself to sit up as she pulled the chair closer to the bed with a brightness surrounding her.
“Good morning, honey!” Virginia chirped as she reached into one of the bags and pull out a big leather book “I brought something that might help with your memories.”
“What?” I asked her in confusion as she sat down what I recognized as a photo album in front of me.
“I brought our family photos!” Virginia explained brightly as I froze in confusion and shock at such a thing even existing.
“What?” I questioned myself as Virginia opened the book with glee and I felt my blood run cold at the first page.
“These are the most recent family photos. They are from the last time I went to visit you guys in Texas a few months ago.” Virginia offered as I felt suddenly sick at the happy family photos that were a sharp contrast to the way my own life had been at this point.
“I…” I muttered feeling bile in my throat at the image of the young girl that looked just like me but was wearing bright colors and a bright fucking smile on her lips.
“Oh, these are good ones! They are from your cheer competition last year.” Virginia said as she turned the page again and I felt my heart pounding painfully.
“Cheerleading…” I whispered as I glanced at the girly teenager that was nothing like my own experiences and it made a feeling of unease grip me.
“Yeah, you have been doing it for a few years. My son never could deny you anything that brought that smile to your face.” Virginia offered as she smiled at the picture of my father hugging me.
“S….” I stuttered feeling like vomiting at the doppelgangers in these images that didn’t make any sense to me.
“Your mom was so proud that day.” Virginia said as she pointed out the image of my mother hugging me while the girl appeared to me laughing.
“Stop!” I shouted as I pushed away the picture and pressed my hand firmly against my chest “Stop!”
“Liberty?” Virginia said with concern as she tried to touch me, and I shoved her away hard feeling my lungs caving in again.
“Just leave me alone! She isn’t me! That isn’t true!” I protested as I felt overwhelmed at the sight of that family, a family I had barely ever had.
“It is you, sweetheart. You just don’t remember yet.” Virginia replied as she tried to place a hand on my cheek, and I curled around myself while shaking my head.
“That isn’t me. That can’t be me. She isn’t me. This isn’t my life.” I muttered as I felt my body shake at this realization.
My stomach dropped at the words from my mouth as I was hit with a possibility that I had considered. The nurse came into the room as I felt my eyes widen in panic. It was impossible, but that girl was not me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the thought that there was a possibility that I was somehow trapped in another reality. A reality where there was a girl that was happy, free, and loved so deeply. The image showed a girl that was happy and carefree in ways that I had never been. A family that was united and not the fractured one that I had. I felt another needle in my neck as I realized that maybe I wasn’t in a coma but in another reality instead of that bright girl. Somehow, I found myself trapped in her place and I hoped that it wasn’t true. I didn’t want to replace a version of myself that had a bright life and was surrounded by storybook characters. As the darkness from the medication started to calm me down, I did something that I hadn’t done in a long time and prayed that she be allowed to return here if I was truly in another reality instead of my own.