Chapter Text
I woke up.
Contrary to my very reasonable expectations, there were neither any blinding heavenly lights nor a crowd of butt naked winged people clapping politely as I fluttered my eyes open. Nobody welcomed me with a divine chorus or a congratulatory fruit basket. Very rude. At the very least, someone could have handed me a towel.
Good morning, me.
Even if the situation doesn't deserve it, starting the day optimistically is always better than getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Or, in this case, the wrong side of whatever slimy thingy wingy I appear to be lying in.
Not that it helped much. I still couldn't see anything.
My sight strained against the darkness. The only sensation available to me was the overwhelming smell of ashes that clung to the air and drifted away in a slow fading wave. A crisp, smoky scent. Not pleasant, not comforting, very suspicious.
Was I in hell.
Everything around me was pitch black.
And by pitch black, I mean the kind of darkness that feels like it is actively judging you for having eyes at all. Which, I admit, is quite impressive.
The personal domain of that self-named Evil God D should have had something more theatrical, right. Lava pits. Flaming sculptures of misfortune. A tasteful selection of imps poking you with pointy sticks while announcing today's special in torment. Yet I felt absolutely nothing stabbing me. That was a plus, but only a minor one.
The air was weirdly humid, now imagine feeling something damp stick to my skin. Or whatever skin I have now. Hard to tell when I cannot actually see it. The darkness pressed in from every direction, and I squinted deeper into it even though I knew that wouldn't accomplish anything at all.
Along with the smoky scent, something else drifted through the air. A faint sweetness, almost like honey mixed with flowers. A strange combination. My nose twitched. If I had to put it into words, it would be something like a meadow explosion inside a burned house.
And then I noticed something much more pressing.
I couldn't feel my legs.
Not just numb. Not just awkward. I couldn't feel them at all.
A very disturbing sensation for someone who used to rely on eight perfectly coordinated legs to do literally everything. My hands moved forward on instinct, waving in the air like some lost grandpa wandering across a street with no traffic lights.
Soon my fingers brushed against something.
Something slimy. Something wet. Something that felt like a balloon covered in a layer of… what even was that. Moist jelly? Elastic and strangely warm. Drops of water slid down its surface and over my fingers.
I hesitated.
Hmm.
Hello.
Anyone home?
Knock knock.
Ah, apologies. No one seems to be answering the door.
I'm from the rent enforcement department. You haven't paid for your stay. Please open the door or I will be forced to retrieve my imaginary shotgun. I may or may not use it.
The wall, which had previously remained stoically unresponsive, suddenly shivered beneath my hand. It shrank inward with a disturbing squelch. The whole thing trembled like a creature waking up in a very bad mood.
I absolutely didn't mean to intrude.
I didn't want to be nosy.
Please don't take this personally.
Leave me alone.
Actually don't leave me alone. I am reconsidering.
Wait no. Please let me leave.
No thank you, I don't want to become mashed spider pulp.
What should I do.
Well, clearly I should break out.
Obviously.
Brilliant plan. Ten out of ten.
Except breaking out was not happening.
Without my scythe, cutting through it was difficult. Actually impossible. I must have lost it when I, you know, swallowed the magical equivalent of a nuclear bomb. Not my best moment.
The entire shell squeezed tighter.
From all directions.
Wow. This didn't spark joy.
Let me leave, please.
Fine. Fiiine. I am leaving now. No need to be rude about it.
Okay, skills. Just use a skill. Any skill. Even a mediocre one. Fire Ball is not a good idea inside an enclosed space, though. I might be many things, but cooked spider is not one of them. Preferably.
I settled on a minor Wind Spell. Something safe. Something gentle. Something that should at the very least stir the air.
I willed the wind to gather.
…
Huh.
That did nothing.
Why did that do nothing.
I tried again. Poison Magic. Nothing. Fire Magic. Nothing. Even the weaker cantrips fizzled out like damp fireworks.
I sat in stunned silence, mentally rebooting.
What do you mean the System is not responding. That wasn't part of the plan. I never agreed to that. Where is my interface. Where are my skills. Where is my comfy menu screen.
The squeezing intensified.
Wonderful. Great. Fantastic. Absolutely crushing.
Just when I thought I was about to be compressed into a white pancake, the pressure suddenly loosened. The mass expanded outward instead of inward. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief and set my hands down to brace myself.
Fresh air drifted in from above.
There was a hole up there now. A real, functional, life saving hole.
I could finally see something.
Barely, but something.
The container I had been inside sprawled across the stone like a collapsed lump. A flower. A giant blooming flower. And wrapped around it were strands of my own cocoon webbing, woven together with petals now wilting at the edges.
Wait.
Did that mean…
Did I bloom!?
OH NO I WAS REINCARNATED AS A FLOWER WAS THAT MY FINAL FORM!?
Pause! Pause! Pause!
False alarm.
I still had hands.
I lifted them, flexed my fingers, curled them into a fist, and then punched the dying flower out of frustration. Immediately regretted it because pain shot through my thumb.
O-ow! Excuse me. Where is my Pain Nullification. I paid dearly for that, emotionally and physically.
Footsteps echoed nearby.
Someone was here.
Great. My day just keeps improving. Loud footsteps. Getting closer. Someone approaching my very messy and very embarrassing scene. Could be a monster. Could be an adventurer. Could be Potimas with a new laser cannon. Who knows. I needed to be prepared for the upcoming confrontation with potential enemy.
I attempted to stand, only to realize that I was missing several familiar limbs.
All of them.
Every last beautiful spider leg.
Gravity pulled me down and I felt weak and floppy. This was awful. Ten out of ten would not recommend.
Then I heard it.
A sharp inhale.
Not mine.
Someone else.
My lips moved on instinct but nothing came out yet. I looked toward the sound and saw him.
A boy.
A young boy, ragged clothes, white hair in complete disarray, a cracked dagger trembling in his hand. Half of his outfit looked like it had lost a fight with a cheese grater.
How was I seeing him.
Oh. Light.
Small beams piercing from above. Enough to illuminate both of us. Which also meant he could see me.
Which was bad.
Very bad.
What if he was here to finish me off.
I was in no condition to fight.
I had no stats. No skills. No threads. Nothing.
The System was gone.
Completely gone.
Was this D's fault.
Yes. One hundred percent yes. I was one hundred percent it was D's fault.
I remembered her voice just before everything went dark. The memory alone made my whole body twitch with phantom pain.
Screw you, D. You never let me have anything nice. I hate evil gods.
My options were extremely limited. I couldn't strike back. I couldn't defend myself properly. And the last time I woke up helpless like this was back in the Great Elroe Labyrinth, which was at least familiar territory. This was not. This was worse. This felt like a respawn into hard mode with no tutorial.
Nai wa.
A breath escaped me as I pushed myself up using my arms, my limbs trembling like they were made of overcooked noodles. My elbows shook but I managed to lift myself upright, just barely.
Then the boy spoke.
"Ka...m..ss..."
His voice wavered. He stepped closer, still clutching the cracked dagger but holding it awkwardly, like he didn't actually want to stab me. At least that was something. He was still acting sus though.
He continued his timid approach.
Step. Step.
What if he had arachnophobia. I used to be a spider. What if he looked at me and instinctively stabbed me in the face. That would be incredibly rude and incredibly inconvenient. And painful. I desperately hoped he would run away instead.
I readied my hands just in case.
My fingers brushed my lower body.
Wait.
Skin.
Smooth skin.
Warm skin.
I had legs.
I HAD LEGS.
I gawked at them like ancient relics. Human legs. They felt so strange. So squishy. So uncooperative. Why were they so soft. Why were they so… leg like. I used to have these as Wakaba Hiiro, but somehow they felt foreign now.
Spider legs were better.
Warmer. Cozier. More reliable. Perfect for all occasions.
Still, I was now a full flesh and bone human.
Probably.
Maybe.
My definition of human was blurry at this point.
Standing up was horrible. My legs refused to cooperate. They bent in all the wrong ways. They felt like two long gelatine sticks taped to my hips. I used my arms more than anything to push myself upright.
Huff. Huff.
Have you ever sat at your computer for so long that when you finally stand your legs betray you completely. Yes. That feeling. Except multiplied by ten. Actually, a hundred. And in both legs at once.
If you have never experienced it, go ahead and try it. You might understand my suffering.
My inner pain manifested with a very dignified internal scream.
Eventually, I stood up.
And I stared at the boy with a fierce look, attempting to appear intimidating.
Even in this weakened form, I could still fight.
Hopefully.
"Fear me, human!"
Is what a monster girl would say.
I, however, am a civilized spider girl, so I refrained. Mostly. If he were Vampy, though, I would have hit her already out of habit.
Ehem.
The intimidation didn't work. My trembling legs ruined the effect. But it wasn't fear. I simply had to get used to having a human body again. It felt weaker. Much weaker. Inferior in so many ways.
I can accept many things, but losing to gravity is not one of them.
Still, there is nothing I can do.
The boy stared, face flushing red, eyes flicking away from me like he was trying not to look directly. He tilted his head to the side, refusing to meet my gaze.
Was he shy?
Was he mute?
He spoke earlier, so why so quiet now.
Then he exploded.
"I AM SOOOOOORRY!"
His voice shook the entire space.
He pointed at me with trembling fingers.
I looked down.
I understood.
…
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no.
Wind.
Cold.
Skin.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I WAS NAKED.
ACTUALLY NAKED.
AND IT WAS COLD.
I stumbled back, flailing, and stepped onto a slippery stone that betrayed me instantly. There was no time to correct myself.
I fell face first into the dirt.
My nose thunderously met the mud.
"KAMI-SAMA!"
The boy yelled again, panicking.
Nai wa.
I am done.
I am cold.
I am powerless.
I lost my limbs.
I lost the System.
I am butt-naked.
I am in an unfamiliar place.
"Don't die, Kami-sama!" he pleaded in a frantic voice, not daring to look at me but reaching out blindly. "Let me help you!"
D.
I swear.
You are doing this on purpose.