Chapter Text
Don't you ever get tired of acting like you're in charge Negan?
Don't you? When it finally goes to shit, and it will, you make sure you come back and tell me all about that day too Sheriff.
Rick comes down into his cell several days a week. His tone so fucking conversational it makes Negan's hands restless half the time. There's no fear lacing his voice, no low - please Negan - 's hiding in his tone. He talks so freely, voice emphasizing words as if he thinks Negan actually gives a fuck what he's talking about. Like they are two men without a past between them, or whatever you could call the last few fucked up years. It's a new side to Rick. The domestic side that Negan used to fantasize about seeing, thinking he never could. Downright fucking foolish of him.
Negan used to live for the weekly pickups, watching Rick and his pretty little ass skitter around, exuding hate until he pressed just the right way and it turned into teary eyed helplessness. A rotten impulse maybe but he owned the man and it was for Rick's own good, for everyone's.
This isn't about who you killed. This is about what you did to us. How you put people under your boot.
When he recalls Rick's words he has a hard time refuting it. Justifying it though is not so hard. He could have saved them all. If they would have let him. Instead Rick has a dead son and Negan is a deposed leader.
He remembers the words he rasped to Rick, after his play by play of his boring ass day and stupid little speech about how people need each other, 'When it finally goes to shit, and it will, you make sure you come back and tell me all about that day too'.
He isn't expecting it to happen sooner rather than later.
Rick stumbles in caked in dirt. It's not unusual for him to be a little scruffed up or sweaty but this seems something else altogether. His shirt has been pulled open, chest beneath heaving. And it's late, too late for any visits.
Negan's at the bars in anticipation before Rick's even on the floor.
Rick blinks dumbly, like he doesn't know how he found himself there. Negan clears his throat.
"Hi Rick." he rasps.
Rick blinks dumbly at him too, eyelashes fluttering all pretty, just like how he'd look in the pantry sometimes, when Negan got too close.
"Negan." Rick starts, then casts a look around.
"What happened to you?" Negan scoffs, "Got caught up by someone?"
Rick doesn't answer the question. He casts another glance around for the chair that's usually up against the wall but it's gone. Instead Rick leans heavily against said wall before sliding down it.
"You had a day, huh?" Negan whistles lowly.
"I-I-" Rick cuts himself off before anything significant comes out. He stares up at Negan with big eyes.
Negan could gloat, but there's something even better.
Rick folds forward and rest his hands on his knees, his head in his hands.
"What happened?" Negan feigns.
Rick shakes his heard as if to ward off thinking about it.
"Rick, is my life in danger? Should I be in here?" It's worth a try, however pathetic, and it's almost shocking when Rick jolts forward, stumbles on his knees towards the bars.
He doesn't do more than touch them though, with shaky fingers.
Negan kneels down too.
"What happened Rick?" he says lowly, serious, like he's invested though he isn't.
Rick's eyes fill with tears but they don't fall.
He looks lovely and that more than anything incites Negan.
"What happened Rick?" He says again.
He could reach out and touch him but he doesn't. Not just yet.
It's sweeter if Rick comes to him.
And it quenches the vicious thirst inside Negan, to see Rick like this. Because it's just where he belongs. And a cell does nothing to change that.
"Is everyone okay?" Negan asks quietly, but really, he doesn't care.
There's no death that would shake him, save maybe for Judith - but Rick is too cognizant for that to even be an option.
Rick's slim fingers wrap tightly around the bars and he pulls himself up a little, in a little. Stares at Negan through them, blinking dumbly, like he's waiting for Negan to reveal the secrets of the universe.
Negan wraps his hands over Rick's. Squeezes down a tad when there's no response.
"Got someone else killed Rick?" he asks, and yeah, there it is.
There it is.
"You're good at that, aren't you?" Negan sing songs quietly, not yet mocking.
Rick's lower lip trembles and he looks hit. The tears in his eyes almost spill over.
"You're trying to be strong, aren't you Rick? Always trying so hard to be strong."
Rick leans in at that, whimper in his throat and Negan wants to laugh, wants to grab him through the bars and do him damage. Instead he pries Rick's fingers gently from the bars and threads them through his, pulls them in.
"Are you giving up honey?" Negan says as he peters unsteadily to his feet, keeping his grip.
Rick's eyes are glazed with tears as they follow his rise.
It is just like that night.
The night Negan turned the man inside out.
This is about what you did to us.
Negan's dismayed at the words that pop into his head, Rick's sure voice. Not so sure now, is he?
And Rick is rising, trying to rise, too. As if Negan's meaning to give him a helping hand. One of Negan's hands relents and slips down to grasp Rick's elbow, haul him up.
We're not gonna kill you. We're not gonna hurt you.
Rick's voice tumbling around in Negan's head only makes Negan want to prove the truth of things. That even in a cage Negan is more than Rick ever will be. Rick is weak.
Negan shifts back a little, dragging Rick with him and Rick mistakes it for a hug, of all things. Pitches forward a little and presses himself against the bars. Negan wraps his arms around him. Negan will never get a better chance than this.
"Holy fuck, they sure did a number on you." He lets that certain edge that always has Rick chomping at the bit back into his voice.
No response. Which is a little - fucking irritating if Negan is honest.
"Such a fucking failure." Negan prods, arms tightening, "Failure of a man, of a leader, of a father."
That gets Rick snuffling, right into Negan's ear, whimpy little tears. Negan's sure his grasp is leaving bruises.
"Carl is dead because of you. Carl deserved better."
Rick is dissolving - into tears, into a limp puddle in Negan's arms, all of it. He's pliable like this and he's not even fighting. Negan pulls back, tips Rick's chin up so that their eyes meet.
"Look at you Rick, in truth, can we both agree that you never got up off the ground? You're still on your knees. It's better like this, if you know your place, if you stop trying so fucking hard to be something you're not. You belong at my feet. You know that and I know that."
Negan has no excuse for what happens next. Only his heart is thudding in his chest, the air is heady and he feels lighter than he has in month, feels powerful. Ricks' teary eyes and spit slick lips catch the light and the next thing Negan knows he's pressing through the bars, pulling Rick closer until their lips meet in a soft brush.
Negan chuckles lowly in his throat when Rick doesn't do anything more than close his eyes, tears finally crawling down his cheeks. It's a bitter chuckle though, and also - just what the fuck is Negan doing?
But it's harmless, it's one little kiss. Hardly anything in the scheme of things, in the catalogue of what Negan has done to keep Rick under control.
"You let me do that." Negan says, keeping his tone honeyed, "You let me do that Rick because as much as you try to hide it, we both know you've already lost. Why not go ahead and add failure of a lover to that fucking list. What Carl pictured - all of us 'working together' for something bigger than all of us - well, what the fuck do you think the Saviors were? I guess he just couldn't imagine - no, couldn't accept - your part in it Rick. Had to dream up something so he could pretend you were better than you were."
It doesn't escape Negan's notice that he's the only thing keeping the man upright at the moment.
"He would have made a hell of a Savior." Negan says bitterly, shoves Rick backward so the man drops, hitting the floor with a thump, "Now tell me again about this 'thriving' future you couldn't shut up about a few days ago?"
Rick's still for a moment before he finally pushes himself up off the ground.
"You're family is gone Rick, same as mine." Negan tosses out, because he doesn't know when he'll be able to catch Rick in a moment of weakness again, "You've ruined everything and there's nothing fucking for you anymore."
Rick shakily wipes his hands on his jeans, lets out a deep breath.
"Goodnight Negan." he says firmly, before turning for the stairs.
And just like that whatever triumph Negan had been feeling is snuffed out. But that's always how Rick has been. Always that one little kernel of stubbornness that keeps him going, keeps him from being put in his place. Negan's never hated him more for it, not even when it cost him the Sanctuary.
He can't admit that out loud though, can't let Rick think he's got one over on him.
"Goodnight Honey." Negan says, good humored, and feels a thrum of something dark pass over him when Rick flinches.