Chapter Text
Nook Ridge, a small town in the middle of nowhere, where the sky is mostly grey and the streets are often empty, where the high-school and the diner down the main road are the only places that actually look alive, a place where nothing happy ever happens.
This was what Cellbit always thought about his hometown.
And still, there he was again.
The doorbell of his old family house still sang the same tune and the stairs still creaked with each step he took. He never thought he would go back to that house, not like that.
He used to imagine going to college and then getting a good job far away from Nook Ridge, he used to dream about a small apartment in the middle of a big city, where the lights shined everywhere and everything seemed possible.
But even with such hopes, that dream shattered the moment he dropped out of college, and now the old town welcomed him back in what seemed like a sneering grin.
"I'm so happy you're here!" his sister welcomed him the first day of his return, holding him in her arms. But he couldn't get himself to be as happy as she seemed.
The days passed like time didn't care he was trapped there once again and he just watched them go by, a mere spectator in his own life.
Until Roier.
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"You should definitely come with!" Bagi stated for the hundredth time.
"You have to meet Tina and she is also going to bring a friend, so you won't be alone with just us two!" his sister told him holding his arm in her hands, almost as if she thought he would physically escape. She spent hours trying to convince her brother to go with her and her girlfriend to the only diner in town, hoping that they would be able to get to know each other a bit.
"And you really think that a stranger being there is going to make me want to come with you and your girlfriend to dinner?" Cellbit's eyebrows automatically lifted as he looked at Bagi.
"Well, not if you keep that stick up your ass." he removed his arm from the girl's grip and rolled his eyes "And with that you just made it easier for me to decide and stay home."
"Aw come on! Please!" Bagi looked at him with the last bit of hope she had left "It's really important for me that you meet her.. We've been together for a year now and she is dying to get to know you. She knows how important you are for me, so.."
Cellbit knew exactly what she was trying to do, "Don't play the oh we are twins and you're my other half card." He said tiredly, his hands on his face, as if not looking at Bagi would make her go away.
"But it is true!" Cellbit sigh and for a couple of seconds silence filled the room. He dropped his hands and looked at his sister. He knew it was true, Bagi was the only person he would never turn his back to, the only person that supported him in all of his decisions and difficulties. They were twins, siblings and even best friends.
He sighed "Alright.. I'll come" he finally said.
And that was the moment he fucked up.
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He felt sick from the moment their eyes met. Cellbit always had a thing for perfection, and the fact that his life was the furthest thing from that always filled his body with an indescribable sorrow. That is why, when he laid eyes on the guy next to his sister's girlfriend, all that was going through his mind was "I fucking hate this guy".
Hair that fell softly on his forehead like it was scared to hurt him, a face sculpted by the finest artists, as if they poured all their love and life into it and eyes of the sweetest brown, so deep and still with such a light and spark behind them. Cellbit never thought that a man could be so pretty and handsome at the same time, so sweet and strong, soft and bright, like for him there were no rules and he could just be everything and not even try.
The smirk on his face was what annoyed Cellbit most. He looked like he knew. Like he knew he was the sun reincarnated and he could shed light on someone's life as easily as he could blind them and leave them in pain.
And Cellbit thought that nothing good could ever come from a person like that.
If not for that, for the fact that he looked like a total jerk. Like he could be captain of the football team if he had the age to still be in high-school and like he would close him in his locker while he just wanted to get to class.
"Cellbit! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Tina smiled sweetly as he shook her hand, the boy's eyes behind her never leaving his. "I've heard so much about you."
"It's a pleasure." Cellbit gave his attention to the girl and ignored the shivers on his back, as he tried to put away the feeling of annoyance that came from having the boy looking at him.
Tina looked behind her and with a gesture made her friend come forward "He's Roier, my best friend!"
"Hey man!" the boy took Cellbit's hand in his, and firmly shook it. Once again, a heavy feeling weighed on Cellbit's shoulders. Too confident, too cocky, of course he greets people with "hey man", there was nothing good in that simple handshake, nothing that Cellbit could find.
"Hi." Roier's eyes still looking directly in his, with that same confidence and spark that never seemed to leave the boy's face.
Stop it. It wasn't even an hour and Cellbit already wanted it to be over.
They sat at a table near the window, the clouds outside covering the sky, the cold wind whistling in the air as if trying to lure him out of that place and run back home.
Cellbit occupied the seat near the glass, so he could have some kind of distraction watching outside, but he realised his plan was flawed when Roier sat right in front of him.
There was just something about him that screamed "look at me!". Not only because of his looks, his whole person was just like a lighthouse that shined in the dark. And he was still looking at Cellbit as if he didn't even care if he was being annoying or inopportune, like he could do anything he wanted.
"I heard you moved back here just recently, that's right?" He asked with a smile.
Mind your own business?
"Yeah." and then, silence. Roier was still smiling at him, as if expecting Cellbit to continue the conversation, but when he realised that wasn't the case, he just nodded and carried on by himself. "Bagi told us you lived in Chicago, I heard that place is beautiful!"
And still, I'm back here, yes. That's what you mean, right?
"It is." this time, an awkward silence fell between them, as the two girls just watched, but Roier kept nodding like he was hanging on his every word. "That's crazy man, you must have lived such a cool life there, I'm jealous."
Annoyance. That's all that Cellbit could feel. He didn't want to be there, didn't want to talk about his life, nor look at Roier's stupidly pretty face while he clearly tried to make a fool out of him. He suppressed the urge to get up and walk away as the waitress took their order, then Tina smiled at Cellbit.
"It's actually crazy how similar you and Bagi look, even if I didn't know you two were twins I would've still been able to guess, that's for sure!" She looked at his sister with loving eyes, and on himself he could still feel Roier's.
"The icy stare is the same, I would have no doubts!" The boy joked and Bagi lifted her middle finger with a small laugh. Cellbit couldn't help but feel offended though. He always liked his eyes, the color of freezing water, but he was often told that they were cold, they looked lifeless and made him look like a crazy creep. His sister always managed to balance that with her charismatic personality and warm heart, but for Cellbit it felt as if his eyes were truly the window to his soul. The more people stared into it, the more he felt invaded, as if the light color was that of a see-through glass and to made it unpenetrable he had to build a wall behind it.
"I heard that light eyes hurt at the light of the sun more than the others, is that true?" Roier asked, looking at him. And Cellbit felt as if it was a trick-question, asked by the sun himself.
"I guess they do." He looked right at him for the first time, feeling like that was a challenge he had to win. But Roier just smiled and said "I'll have to lend you my sunglasses then."
"You never let me wear them!" Tina lamented, giving a light punch on the boy's arm "That is so unfair!"
"Do you have pretty blue eyes? I really don't think so." That made Cellbit's stomach turn inside out, and he learned from a young age that meant nothing good, the only things to do being flight or fight.
"I don't need sunglasses. You can keep them for yourself." Roier looked almost disappointed at that, then moved on with a shrug.
"You know, Cellbit? I think I remember you from high-school! I think one of my friends was in your history class!" Tina said enthusiastically, but Bagi looked at her as if trying to let her know that wasn't a good conversation topic.
"On the contrary, I don't remember you at all." Roier jumped in, and looked at him trying to remember.
"Of course you don't, he was already out when you got in. You're a baby, Roier." Bagi joked, Cellbit focusing on his food instead of thinking about those times.
"It would've been nice meeting each other then!"
"Sure thing.." Cellbit whispered.
It definitely wouldn't have been.
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The walk back home was.. something. Bagi looked almost mad at him and he couldn't figure out why, until she spoke.
"Does it hurt you trying to be nice once in a while?"
"What? What do you mean?" he kept walking, kicking a small rock that he found on the road.
"Listen, I know you don't like meeting new people, but you could've at least tried to get to know Tina a bit better! She was trying so hard!" Bagi said disappointed.
"Well, I was also trying so hard to ignore that guy's presence but he just Had to sit in front of me and be a dumbass." he kicked the stone a little too hard and that made it fall outside the road into the grass. He sighed.
"What?" Bagi stopped walking, confused "Roier? Are you talking about Roier?" she looked almost shocked at the thought that he could talk about her friend like that.
"Mhmh" he rolled his eyes and stopped a couple of steps in front of her "I can't stand him."
"What did he even do? I'm so confused, how could you ever not like Roier? He's such a nice guy!" His sister always looked for the best in people, as Cellbit always looked for the worst. She thought that you have to overlook the bad parts to focus on the good while he thought you had to know the worst and be prepared.
"Of course you say that. 'Oh, how could anyone ever hate him, he's so handsome and funny and cool'. I hoped at least you wouldn't think like that, Bagi." he sighed, still frustrated at the thought of the boy sitting in front of him.
"Bro what are you saying, are you mad cause he's nice? Pretty? That's such a weird way to say you have a crush on him."
"DO NOT" Cellbit pointed at his sister "do not even try to make it sound like that."
The thought alone was ridiculous. First of all, he spent the entire night wanting to never have to look at the guy again, second, he couldn't stand a single thing he said, third, Roier was obviously, absolutely, without a doubt, straight.
"Then explain what kind of bullshit are you trying to spit out of your mouth!" his sister insisted.
"I thought you would be smarter Bagi, really. Maybe you just managed to avoid people like him better than me and now you can't recognise them when they're in front of you. He's a total jerk." He turned his back to her and kept on walking towards home.
"The more time passes the more insane you get, Cellbit. That makes no sense, just give him a chance! You can't make up your mind on him without even getting to know him!" Bagi hurried beside him.
"Do not want to and do not need to, thanks."
The thought alone of having to see Roier again made him shiver. He hoped he never had to.
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Of course, that wasn't the case.
Nook Ridge was such a small town after all, that Roier seemed to be everywhere. The first time they bumped into each other after the dinner, was at the supermarket. Cellbit was sent there by Bagi to buy groceries and he saw Roier near the ice cream fridge. He tried to go by unnoticed, but as he thought he succeded, he heard the boy's voice.
"Cellbit!"
Now, he could've just ignored him and pretend he didn't hear him, but then he thought of Bagi, and decided to try and give him a chance. He turned around and met Roier's eyes.
"Hi.." In one second, he was being dragged by the boy near the ice creams.
"I need serious help, man. Which one do you think is better to eat while watching a game. Vanilla or Strawberry." He said in such seriousness that it actually sounded like a life or death decision.
"Ehm.. I like coffee" Cellbit said and then noticed his wrist was still in Roier's grip.
"That sucks ass, man!" looking back at Roier's face he was met by a disgusted expression "It's between vanilla and strawberry, I told you!" his eyes shining in anticipation of the other's answer.
"Well, fuck you then" Roier's eyes widened as soon as Cellbit spoke "I won't choose between those baby ass flavours."
A couple of seconds passed in silence. Then, Roier bursted out laughing "Wow okay, you didn't need to diss my tastes like that!"
It was a sandy sound. It felt like being by the sea in summer, listening to the waves crushing on the shore. Roier's laugh was just as bright as his smile, like that sound completed the picture of that sunny day that the boy seemed to just give off effortlessly. Like his tanned skin was the visual manifestation of the sun he always brought with him and his laugh the auditive one.
Cellbit freed his wrist from Roier's grip.
"Get better tastes then."
"I like my baby ass flavours too much, I'm sorry." There it was again, that cockyness in his voice, as if he just knew better. The feeling that he was just using him for his own entertainment and enjoyment.
"Then decide by yourself." And with that, Cellbit walked away.
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The second time, Bagi asked him again to go out with her and Tina. It was a Saturday, and they spent all morning trying to convince him to go to the movies with them and watch the latest rom-com. Cellbit hated rom-coms, in his opinion it was the worst genre out of all, and most of his favourite films were far from funny or romantic, being more sad or terrifying. His sister though, somehow managed to convince him on going and so there they were at the cinema, waiting in line to buy the tickets.
They waited for quite a while, and when they finally got to the girl behind the counter, Tina asked: "Four tickets please."
Cellbit's brain froze. He was about to tell her she counted wrong, that there were only three of them, when a hand on his shoulder made him turn around slowly.
Roier was there beside him, panting as if he had just stopped running, hair up in a black baseball hat, his torso hugged by a red and white varsity jacket and, under that, black baggy jeans. He took a couple of deep breaths, using Cellbit's shoulder as support to hold himself up and then smiled tiredly.
"Sorry I'm late! That damn costumer wouldn't go away." He then straightened his back and waved his hand to say hello to Bagi and Tina, still keeping the other on Cellbit's shoulder.
"Hey man!" Roier smiled at him, as if he deserved a greeting all for himself. "How are you?"
"What are you doing here?" He couldn't stop himself from saying, his mouth not filtering his thoughts.
"Watching the movie?" the boy looked at him as if he was asking the dumbest question ever. He took his ticket from Tina's hands and waved it in front of Cellbit's face.
"Why, aren't you happy I'm here?" he continued smirking. Cellbit took his own ticket from Tina's hands and, in doing so, Roier's hand fell off his shoulder.
"Let's just get this over with." he walked towards the movie's room and the others followed. They sat down one at a time and, even though he tried his best not to sit next to the other boy, Cellbit found himself between a crying baby and Roier.
"You know, I didn't think you'd like rom-coms." he heard him talk from his right. He never wanted to see a movie this bad, hoping that when the lights went out, he wouldn't have had to listen to him talking anymore.
"I really don't." the baby beside him was already giving him a headache and the group of teenage girls behind him were engrossed in conversation over the handsome guy in front of them, hence, Roier.
"Well, that makes more sense. Why did you come then? To see me?" Roier poked at his arm with his finger and Cellbit immediately shoved him off.
"I didn't even know you would be here." he scoffed and Roier gasped almost theatrically.
"Let's say it was destiny then!"
"It was just Bagi." as he finished the sentence, the lights went out and ads started playing before the movie. "Now shush." Cellbit whispered and Roier nodded while gesturing his mouth closing as a zip.
Despite what he hoped, the film started and Roier kept trying to talk to him, making jokes about the characters or whatever was happening on screen. Cellbit wasn't paying attention to him nor to the movie, he just tried his best to ignore the baby to his left that kept on crying and screaming. Because of that, the more time passed, the more he found himself instinctively moving to the right, until he felt Roier's leg and shoulder touching his.
"If you wanted to be closer you just had to ask, man." he heard his voice in a whisper right by his ear. His heart stopped. His body stopped. His mind stopped. This time, it was a flight kind of response. He stood up and walked in front of all the other people, until he reached the end of the row, then made his way to the bathroom.
He breathed in and out, trying to keep his calm, hands on the sink, and eyes closed. Memories of old classmates calling him names and pushing him around flooded his mind, the anxiety and fear of being different from others pumped through his veins for the first time in years and his breaths didn't seem to bring him any oxigen anymore.
He lost track of time and what felt like seconds became minutes, until the door opened.
"You alright? That should've been a huge shit if it took you this long." Roier's voice brought him back to reality. He wasn't a teenager, he wasn't in his old school and Roier was not his classmate. He was standing by the door with a puzzled look on his face, his head tilted to the left, kind of resembling a big dog.
"I'm fine." he opened the tap and washed his hands to make it look like he actually did something in that time and didn't spend it just standing there trying to get himself together. "Is the film over yet?" he dried his hands on his shirt.
"Nope, still going. You missed the best part though, they already kissed." Roier's eyes never left Cellbit as he moved around in the bathroom. "The little kid to your left is gone if it makes you feel better, he was crying so hard the mother had to take him outside." he laughed a bit.
"Thank fucking god." And with that, he walked past Roier and exited the bathroom.
The rest of the movie was pretty uneventful, the guy and the girl got together, the group of teenage girls behind them squeaked in excitement at every kiss and Roier almost cried when they finally got married. "I want a wedding like that."
"I already feel sorry for the poor girl that will have to do the others the favour of taking you as a husband so they don't have to." Cellbit whispered as the ending credits appeared on the screen.
"You're so mean Cellbo." only his sister called him that. It was an affectionate nickname, one that wasn't suited to get out of Roier's mouth. Cellbit shivered.
"Don't call me that."
"Sorry."
"Roier, do you need a ride?" Bagi was already on her feet, and her and Tina were holding hands, waiting for the two boys to get up.
Cellbit loved his sister, but he truly hoped Roier would decline.
"Oh, I'm fine, thanks! I'll take a walk, it's a nice evening after all, and I wouldn't want to bother you.." he looked at Cellbit as if he expected him to say something, to tell him it would've been okay and that he would've happily given him a ride.
"Let's go then, Bagi." Cellbit got up on his feet, and in seconds he was outside the movie theatre, ready to head home.
Roier sighed. That night he got home walking.