Chapter Text
The last thing anyone would expect is to be woken up by the sound of fists banging on a table. Furthermore, what they'd expect less, is for the table they see when they open their eyes to be a picnic table when they recall having just fallen asleep on a cozy mattress in their apartment downtown, and the fists banging on it belonging a slender, pearly-white-skinned girl who looked like she belonged on the cover of some fancy magazine in a big city like New York or L.A.
But, alas, that's where Spud! found himself on this fine Tuesday.
Or was it Wednesday?
He was never really too sure. All he knew was she was loud, and he didn't like that.
"WAKE UP, YA ZEEBLOING!"
'Oh, you have got to be kidding me.' That was all the poor guy could think.
He, begrudgingly, lifted his head off the table once he could find the will to do so and meet the furry face before him. Which, of course, instilled fear into his gut. The gut that he often found himself questioning the existence of.
Gnarpy stared back at him, those beady black eyes glistening with pride. "HAH! I woke him up! It waz allll me!" Xe exclaimed.
"I think Miss Superstar over here woke him up, actually," Another voice chimed, "She's got enough voice for all of us." Spud! glanced over. A humanoid wolf donned in black and purple clothing, accessorized by a black scarf had spoken.
"Hey! That's-" The, per the canine's words, Superstar was about to return, "That's not too far off, actually. I just love hearing myself talk, is all!" She settled, dramatically.
Spud! bit back a groan. He already wanted to go back to sleep. Either that or go back to a few years ago when he wasn't this. Back when he was a camp counselor. Maybe he'd be able to tolerate it all better.
He shook his head to clear it. No need to spiral into another miserable episode.
Spud! tuned out the discussion to further examine the others at the table.
A cartoon rabbit, one he wasn't too sure he knew the name of and a mouse that was unmistakenly Mickey Mouse himself. This was further proven by the rabbit saying his name in a bit of conversation Spud! failed to tune out. Next to the canine he'd heard speak earlier, was a horse that was noticeably fitted with glasses.
Atop the table, glaring up at the Superstar was a six-inch tall creature with half-lidded, tired eyes. Puffy pink hair, white at the roots, donned in ripped shorts.
Spud! fought the urge to lay his head back on the table, dragging his gaze back to the wood and zoning out. It was so loud.
"Keep yappin', RABBIT, and I'll blow ya brainz out with my ZAPPER! AHA!" Gnarpy suddenly yelled, yanking Spud!'s attention back almost as fast as it'd wandered. The feline was bothering the cartoony rabbit down the table, who was having none of it. "Try me, ya furball! I'll wallop ya into next Tuesday!" He shouted back.
"Guys, please," The little table topper—As Spud! dubbed him for now—whined, "You're making my head hurt."
"ZHADDUP!" Gnarpy screamed at him, which made him recoil, "I could zquazh you under my FOOT, you pathetic morzel!"
Table topper winced at that.
"Gnarpy, be nice." Spud! pleaded, though bit his tongue. He should've kept that in his head.
Gnarpy glared daggers at him, which Spud! had to avert his eyes to keep himself from flinching. Which only earned him a sharp remark from the feline that he didn't bother to try and remember.
The table fell quiet. No one quite enjoying Gnarpy's attitude, or just sick of arguing.
"Why are we arguing whenever none of us even know each other's names? Species? Anything?" Spud! Heard, supposedly, Mickey's voice speak up. Hearing his voice made Spud! 100% sure it was him. "Yeah," The rabbit now chimed in, "It's senseless."
"Oh, YOU'RE one to talk, you ZLOPBOB!" Gnarpy shrieked.
The rabbit offered no retort.
"Oh, will you two shut up?" The superstar spat, "If you're so dense that you can't even take the mouse's advice to say names before arguing, then I'll go first! I'm Velvet, I'm a Mount Rageon. There, was that so hard?"
The table fell quiet for a few before Table topper spoke up. "Um, I'm Floyd. I'm a Troll." He said.
There was another moment of silence before Gnarpy spoke up. "..Fine. I'm Gnarpy, Head Commander of the Gnarpians! Not that any of you dezerve to know that information..And thiz idiot over here is..Uh.." Xe trailed off. Spud! frowned. "Spud, my name is Spud.." He croaked. Gnarpy rolled xer eyes. "Zpud! I knew that...Totally."
'Oh, sure you did.' Spud! thought. Though, this time, he kept that thought safely in his head. No sense in starting another argument now that they'd just gotten the table settled.
Gnarpy pointed to the supposed Mickey and the rabbit. "You, introduce yourzelvez! I demand it!" Xe snapped.
The rabbit sighed. "Why yes, your Majesty," He huffed, sarcastically, "I'm Oswald, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. I'd hope someone would know, but maybe I'm too old for that." He joked, though, Spud! swore he could see hurt flash in his eyes for a minute. He felt a tad bad for not knowing. He was sure if he didn't have such shitty memory he'd know. Oswald elbowed the mouse beside him. "Your turn, Mouse." He chimed.
"Oh! Uhm, well, I'm Mickey! Mickey Mouse!"
Spud!'s frown vanished. He'd been right for once.
"Ugh, zuch a dated name." Gnarpy groaned.
The frown returned. The stupid cat always had to ruin the fun.
Oswald pointed to the wolf and the horse. Spud! acknowledged that the horse had yet to speak at all, and if anything, looked uncomfortable, but Oswald didn't acknowledge it. "Yon's, you're the only ones left. What do ya go by?"
The canine perked. "Oh! I'm Willow, this ball of nerves over here is Pony."
Spud! bit back a groan. So many names and there was no way he'd remember any beyond this stupid cat in front of him, and Mickey.
"Nice, there, we know everyone's names!" Mickey chimed, "Say, how about we split up n' go explore this place? It'd be worth it to scope it and make sure it's safe. Especially since we were arguing so much!"
Spud! nodded, finally speaking up again. "Yeah..spud...I'm sure that'll help us, uh...Like each other more?" He fumbled for words and ultimately fell silent again. Yikes, he certainly messed that up, didn't he?
Floyd looked up at him, before his scowl that he'd had for ages now melted away into a gentle smile. "Yeah, Mickey and Spud are right! A nature-slash-exploration walk would be great for soothing this...Really unnecessary tension we caused."
"Maybe also consider splitting us up? Mixing us with different people? That cat looks like they're gonna take poor Spud's face off!" Velvet offered, albeit in such a dramatic tone that Spud! wasn't sure she was being genuine. Nonetheless, he appreciated the chance that he'd get some breathing space.
"I'll go with him," Oswald offered, "He's seem pretty alright."
Spud! smiled at him gratefully.
Oswald returned it.
"Well, uh, suppose I'll put Gnarpy with Pony..I'll take Floyd with me if that's alright with ya of course, and Willow can go with Velvet." Mickey offered.
There was no objection besides Gnarpy insulting Pony, which was shut down by Velvet calling xem a whiny shithead, which made xem shut up.
Oswald hopped up from his spot, literally, and went over to Spud!'s side. "We can go whenever you're ready, no rush."
Spud! rose, using his hands for standing per usual.
At least someone was decent toward him.