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Spencer was tabbing a book he read last week on the couch, half watching the TV show Derek put on. Derek was half watching the TV show he put on, and half scrolling through his phone.
They'd been quiet for several minutes now, and the ambience of Spencer's apartment was for once without the sound of screams from neighbours. Then Spencer broke the silence by saying "Can I ask you a personal question?".
Derek looked over at Spencer, surprised to hear him speak then, and quickly responded "Yes, of course". Which was infact true. Spencer was great at asking personal - invasive - questions, which Derek chose to not say aloud.
Aside from that though, Derek wanted to answer whatever it was. He was always very private with his partners before Spencer. Thus was his first real attempt at a serious relationship in years, and he found himself, despite his best efforts, entirely comfortable with him.
It was one of those surprises about yourself you usually Don't get to experience this late into your life, but Derek found atkeast now, he wanted Spencer to know everything about him, let him closer than he ever has with anyone before.
Spencer kept going "Okay, well you know how you don't want me to go near your anus?" And if that isn't personal. Spencer didn't even flinch though, and continued "How do you do prostate exams?" He seemed entirely unfazed by what he was asking, which Derek found somewhat endearing when he had a better sense for when it was appropriate to ask these things.
With thst being said, it was still a delicate and invasive question. He was glad to be in a place where he doesn't take offence at it. He's now making eye contact with Spencer, hoping he'll try to look up, even though it'd be more comfortable to have this talk passively.
"Well, it's... I do go for a prostate exam every year, doctor's orders and all that,." He didn't really answer the question, so he elaborated, happy to note that he managed to catch Spencer's attention. "My doctor makes it a lot easier, which I give a lot of credit to him for."
"Dr Campbell or that other one?"
"Dr Campbell" said Derek.
"Anyways. I've had him since I moved to Virginia, years ago. The first time I was meant to go for an exam, I got really worked up about it". Spencer nodded his head just to show he was listening. "I came in for my appointment freaking out, but I thought I was hiding it really well." He started smiling. "I was defintely not."
He turned his phone off and sat it under himself. "But he knew and was really chill about it. You gotta know it's a part of his job, he's seen it before. He just starred a conversation about it before anything happened. He did on purpose, brought up nerves and all that." There was a pause.
"I don't even know it happened, I'd never done it before but I just started talking. It all came out quickly and I was emotional as anything, but I basically just told him about the abuse, you know, I really didn't like the people touching me in any way at the time. I just said I was absolutely terrified, I felt sick thinking about it and I hadn't even had a prostate exam before, I had no clue what to expect." He was without realising it, scratching at his inner wrist nervously. No matter how much you've worked on yourself, it's still uncomfortable to talk about when you're vulnerable.
Spencer looked at him like he wanted to continue. He realised he still hadn't properly answered his question. "So uh, he was great about it. By the time I finished I expected him to be judging me, but it was fine. He said it wasn't the first time anybody's been nervous about an invasive procedure and he told me exactly what was going to happen before it started, and talked me through each step as it was happening."
Spencer didn't know what to say he just kept nodding. "It was still really stressful and hard, and it's still... scary... now, but it's defintely one of the best experiences I've had with a Doctor, and he does it every time. So it's not as bad as it could be, and I have just got so much appreciation for him as a medical professional if I'm honest, you know yourself it can feel like doctors don't listen." He gestured towards Spencer.
"Yeah, I'm glad that works. You're always saying Dr Campbell is good at his job." Spencer turned his attention back to annotating his book. Derek doesn't think he likes that, it makes him uncomfortable, but he'll also never bring it up with Spencer.