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“I still say you should have at least gotten round-trip, darling,” Kurt fusses. It’s kind of hard for Finn to take him too seriously, though, when he’s looking at Finn from upside down, because his head is in Finn’s lap.
“But they put me in business class,” Finn insists, for like the fourth or fifth time this visit. “I could actually stretch out my legs. It was so awesome. I figured that was probably enough, since they still got me on the flight. The one-way ticket was just a nice bonus.”
“You should tell Burt and Carole that the airlines told you you’re too tall for coach,” Puck snickers, his head against Finn’s knee. “Then you could fly business every time.” Puck has both of Finn’s feet in his lap, and his hands wrapped around Finn’s left foot, rubbing it almost absentmindedly. Finn wiggles his toes a little.
“That… is an excellent idea, actually,” Kurt says, nodding a little.
“Nah, Burt would just say that means I have to fly less,” Finn says. “I don’t want to risk it.” He runs his fingers through Kurt’s hair, and Kurt closes his eyes and looks like a happy cat.
“No, you’re supposed to fly more now,” Kurt mumbles. “No football games.”
“Yeah, you know nothing says ‘spring break’ like melting slush and brisk wind in Manhattan, dude,” Puck says, snorting.
“And that’s why I’m gonna squeeze into coach in March. We need to pick a date in April, too, so I can go ahead and start planning that,” Finn says. “And I guess we should talk about this summer.”
“Hunter will let you enroll as a transient,” Kurt says. “Since you said you should take a class or two. That’s a big thing, did you know? Football players taking classes elsewhere over the summer. Not just football players, but.”
“And if you’re taking any classes, they’ll let you use their weight room and shit,” Noah adds.
“Yeah, and Mom’ll poop kittens because I’m not coming home for the summer,” Finn says. He ruffles Kurt’s hair so it’s sticking up at crazy angles. “Guess she’ll have to get used to it. Can you help me figure out the paperwork stuff for that?”
“We can all go home for a week as soon as spring exams are over,” Kurt says, nodding in response to Finn’s question. “Has she mentioned the summer to you yet?” Kurt laughs. “Tell Finn what Rina said, Noah.”
Puck snorts again. “She asked if I could at least fit in some FaceTime somewhere around my birthday. Oh, and if we can take Hannah again at some point this summer. Apparently she hasn’t stopped talking about New York all week.”
“It’s cool you guys had her out here, though. I think it would be fun if she were here for a while during the summer, only…"
“I told her maybe in August,” Puck says, shrugging slightly. “It’d be, uh. Awkward. Otherwise.” He laughs for a minute. “Understatement there, I think.”
“Yeah,” Finn says, nodding. “Not, uh. Not sure how we’d explain that one. I could sleep on the futon, I guess, but August is probably better.”
“No, you’re not sleeping on the futon,” Kurt says, cracking his eyes open and shaking his head back and forth slightly. “That was an incorrect answer, Mr. Dean’s List. Has Carole said anything to you about the summer?”
“She keeps talking like she thinks I’m coming back to Lima, and I keep talking to her like I know I’m coming here,” Finn says. He sighs and goes back to petting Kurt’s hair. “Is there a mom foreign language class I could take at Hunter? That might help.”
Puck and Kurt laugh, and Puck moves his hands to Finn’s other foot. “If you figure that one out, you’ll be a millionaire,” Puck says.
“After we get your paperwork squared away, I’ll tell Dad,” Kurt offers. “Then if when you talk to Carole again, she’s still, ah. ‘Confused’.” Kurt makes air quotes and pauses before continuing. “Dad can explain it to her.”
“That’s a good plan,” Finn says. “Better step it up, Puck, or Kurt’s gonna be the pretty and smart one, and you’re out of a job.”
Puck pinches Finn’s foot. “Asshole. And here I am rubbing your feet.”
“Ok, you’re the foot-rubbing one,” Finn says. “So there’s that.”
“Consolation prize,” Puck says with a sniff, rubbing his head against Finn’s knee. “I see how it is. You make up a new job and think I’ll be fooled. But I’m the smart one, remember?”
“Oh, I’ll tell you how it is,” Finn answers. “I love you… asshole.”
Kurt shakes his head again. “Really, boys? You could be doing something useful with yourselves.” He grins suddenly. “Since I’m the pretty one, I’ll just lie here and see what you two come up with.”
Kurt doesn't wait until a few days later, this time; they take Finn to Newark, they eat breakfast, and when Noah heads to his first class of the day, Kurt walks back to the apartment, strips off his clothes, and burrows back into bed. He can faintly smell Finn on the pillow, and he lets himself cry.
He's wallowing, and he absolutely knows it. Kurt has to wallow, though; that's how it feels. He cries and imagines Finn, and then he thinks about how they didn't have long enough with him. Three full days, thanks to the voucher and two skipped classes on Finn's part; four nights. They'd worked around their own schedules as best they could, Noah changing his shifts at work slightly, and Kurt had promised himself that he would finish his math assignment as soon as Finn left.
Of course, instead he's crying in their bed, wishing that the next month will fly past.
It's late when he gets home on Monday evening, his class that's supposed to end at ten finishing instead at ten-fifteen, and Kurt wants to cry again when he opens the apartment door and smells dinner being kept warm for him. Ten minutes later, he's curled against Noah, the television volume on low.
"The aftermath sucks," Noah says succinctly.
"I wasted the morning crying in bed," Kurt admits quietly.
"I took two hours to finish grocery shopping," Noah counters. "I apparently had to go to three different places. Zabar's twice."
"You forgot something?"
"Exactly." Noah's arm tightens a little. "Delaying the inevitable sense of helpless anger, but."
Kurt sighs heavily. "I thought— I don't know what I thought. It was just a few days. It isn't better or worse. It's the same."
"I don't know what to do," Noah mumbles against Kurt's neck. "I don't know how to fix this. I feel like maybe it's something that can't be fixed." Noah sounds like saying the words physically pains him, and Kurt understands. It had taken them a few days after Finn left the last time, to slide back into their usual routines. Classes starting had helped. They always make sure they FaceTime, of course, and they text and call, but they miss him, and now – now they're starting it again.
It takes almost a week, until February's almost over, before Kurt feels like they're close to normal again. A week that includes a really long FaceTime session, too-long rehearsals for Kurt, hours in practice rooms for Noah, and an almost-fight over what to have for dinner, which— they don't do. Kurt knows most of their friends think that he and Noah don't fight. They don't fight often, no, but when they do, it's usually the same fight, rehashed, one of them yells, the other storms out (dramatically, Kurt admits, because neither of them does things by halves), and a few hours later they have make-up sex and talk it out, again.
They don't snipe at each other, not over stupid things like dinner.
But that's Thursday, and by Saturday evening when they end up in Zachary's dorm room, along with Ben, things are starting to feel like they're evening out. They can do this, Kurt tells himself. They can wait for the times they do have.
Noah can sense a pattern developing, and it's not one that he likes.
It's been a week, exactly, since Finn left on the morning of April Fools' Day, heading back to Wisconsin at the end of his spring break. In that week, he and Kurt have snapped at each other three different times, they're both on edge, and they're behind on their own schoolwork. They're both working too much, having switched shifts to have more time with Finn, and on top of that, they're both behind on assignments for their classes. Again, they had put them off, to have more time with Finn.
Also, they miss Finn. They miss the bed being a little crowded. They miss trying to figure out the best way to sit on the futon that lets all three of them be touching each other. Kurt and Finn even went with Noah to a free Passover seder. There are things that only Noah misses, and things only Kurt misses, and for a week after Finn leaves, they're falling apart.
All Noah wants to do is fix it. It's been one week, and there are twelve more days before the Friday afternoon when Finn will arrive again. They'll get three nights, two full days, and then four weeks before the three of them are in Lima for the week.
Their life has far more numbers in it than Noah ever anticipated. He has to acknowledge to himself that they're steering everything around when Finn can visit, when he can talk to them on FaceTime, when Finn is available, and Noah doesn't know what to do.
"You remember how we decided there wasn't really anything helpful when I Googled?" Noah says once they're in bed, Kurt worn out from his late class.
"Mmm. Yes." Kurt nods.
"There's even less about long-distance threesomes when two of the three are in one place, and the third is states away."
Kurt sighs. "I had assumed that was the case. Too bad, though."
"I don't know what to do, K," Noah whispers. "This isn't working. We're counting down until we see him again and then the summer, but he still has to be back in Madison a full month before our classes start in the fall. We're not going to be able to see him as often in the fall, period."
"I know." Kurt exhales heavily. "I know, baby. I don't know what to do, either. But you're right. It's not working."
Noah closes his eyes, even though the lights are already out. "I'm scared, blue eyes."
Kurt doesn't say anything for a long time, and when he speaks, his voice is quiet. "Me too. Me too." Noah can feel him shake, just a little, and Noah sighs.
He'll figure out what to do, because he has to.
Finn’s legs and arms dangle off Syd’s papasan chair and he stares up at her ceiling, trying to count the little pin-holes of posters gone by. “Hey, Syd?” he asks.
Syd looks up from her laptop questioningly. “Yeah?”
“You ever done the long-distance relationship thing?”
“That would require me to have tried the relationship thing for more than a few weeks, you know?” Syd says, laughing a little. “So, no. Why?”
“Just wondering,” Finn says. He’s not just wondering, though. He’s thinking about it constantly since he got back from spring break, because even though he’d thought he’d be getting used to the distance by now, he isn’t. If anything, it’s sucking more and more each time. “My highschool ex, she was like really against the whole idea of the long-distance thing.”
“Hmm. I think Jill did, for awhile,” Syd says, turning away from her laptop. “She was dating someone in Michigan or Minnesota.” She shrugs. “One of those M–states near here, anyway. But their entire relationship was long-distance, from the start.”
“So they didn’t start out in the same place, then,” Finn says. “That’s probably different.”
“Yeah, probably so. They went into it with a different set of expectations, I guess, than if they’d been in the same place and had to split.” She frowns. “I think they broke up because of something stupid, though. Not the distance.”
“I wonder if the stupid stuff seems bigger because of the distance,” Finn says, mostly to himself. He, Puck, and Kurt never fight or argue over anything, really, but if they did, he could see how it would be harder to resolve from hundreds of miles away.
“Maybe?” Syd guesses. “Some things aren’t going to be easier or harder because of distance, but it seems like some things would only be issues because of it.” She grins a little. “Thinking of finding love online, Hudson?”
Finn laughs and shakes his head, still looking up at Syd’s ceiling. “Yeah, I think I’ve already got enough to balance without worrying about that.”
“Probably,” Syd acknowledges. “But I still like the idea of it. If you decide to set up a profile at OkCupid or something, you should let me help you fill out all the information.”
“I was planning on using your picture, too,” Finn says. “Figured you’d be cool with that.”
Syd shrugs. “My tiny milkshakes bring all the boys and girls to the yard.”
“Well, they’re better than mine, that’s for sure.”
Kurt leaves class as soon as the clock says he can, even though probably he should wait until the professor finishes rambling about dance and its importance in musical theatre storytelling. He’s not the only one to leave, though, and there’s just an hour for him to meet Noah and get over to LaGuardia. A taxi would be faster, of course, but they’ll want to be faster on the return trip, once Finn’s there, and while Kurt doesn’t look too closely at the money information, he knows that two taxi trips in one day isn’t really in the budget for them.
That’s really as much as he wants to know about the budget, too.
So Kurt finds the correct bus quickly, meeting Noah at E 125th St and changing buses there.
“They actually let you out on time?” Noah asks.
Kurt rolls his eyes. “No. But I wasn’t the only one leaving.”
“Allison asked if we were going to go to that party tomorrow. I told her we’d let her know tomorrow afternoon.”
“That works,” Kurt nods, leaning against Noah, and the two of them rest until the bus gets to the airport, just ahead of the scheduled arrival time for Finn’s flight.
“Flight’s still on time,” Noah reports as they head towards the arrivals area. “At least we never have to wait on luggage.”
“And he’s easy to spot,” Kurt agrees. “We’re in trouble if he ever flies in at the same time as an NBA team.” Kurt squeezes Noah’s hand and takes a deep breath. The airport is always strange. Always— Kurt should roll his eyes at himself, because it’s only been three times now. It is odd, though; weeks having passed since they all were together, but their greetings are careful, mindful of the public setting.
“He’d still be taller than at least one of the NBA players,” Noah says with a grin. “You’re going to have to take him shopping over the summer, blue eyes, since he keeps getting taller.” He pauses. “How did I end up the shortest one?”
Kurt shrugs and smirks. “You’re the smart one, you tell us.”
Finn’s flight goes from ‘on time’ to ‘at the gate’, and the two of them inch forward. Despite Finn’s height, he managed to spot them before they saw him the last time, and Kurt wonders if that will be the case again.
Sure enough, only a few minutes pass before Kurt hears Finn’s voice calling out, “Hey! You guys!”
“He’s been taking lessons,” Noah mutters as they head towards Finn’s voice. “Trying to improve on the orange-juice ninja skills.”
Kurt laughs as a few people move out of their way and there’s Finn, just in front of them. “Looking for someone?” Kurt asks Finn.
Finn grins, opening up his arms for an embrace. “Maybe. Even if I weren’t, you two would make me change my mind.”
“Hi, asshole,” Noah says with a snort, stepping into Finn’s left side as Kurt slides under Finn’s right arm.
“Hi yourself, asshole,” Finn retorts. “Can we stop and pick up Chinese on the way home?”
“Taxi, delivery, and naked dinner,” Kurt says brightly as they walk towards the exit. “Isn’t that usually the plan?”
“Do we have any other big plans for while I’m here?” Finn asks. “’Cause I didn’t pack all that much in the way of clothes, just so you know.”
“Luckily, not all big plans require clothes,” Noah answers with a grin, and he looks briefly at Kurt.
Kurt shakes his head. “No, no big plans,” he tells Finn. “Just the three of us.” There’ll be other parties for Allison to invite them to the next weekend, and the weekend after that. They don’t really feel like sharing their time with Finn.
The week after Finn visits in April, while Noah's supposed to be studying theory and orchestration, Noah stops and walks down to Artie's, because it amuses him. He orders piergoi and a cup of soup and stares out the window at the people passing.
There's three ways things can go, Noah realizes.
There's the way it's currently going, which is not good. Everything is out of balance and Noah wonders how long he and Kurt can last if they keep going with the same pattern. There's a brittleness surrounding them that's new, and Noah hates it, wants it to go away. If they keep going as they are, Noah thinks it's only going to get worse. They put off seeing shows or doing things in favor of doing them "when Finn is here", and they change their work schedules and study ahead or get behind, but when Finn is there, they don't go do things. They hole up in the apartment for the weekend or the week, squeezing as much time together as they can out of those few days. Noah can honestly say that what they're doing isn't really working.
The extreme answer is that they could stop everything with Finn altogether. The thought of that makes Noah's chest ache, and then he wishes that his new psychiatrist, Dr. Rosenthal, hadn't thought of weaning Noah off the BuSpar at the beginning of the year. He considers taking a Xanax as it is, or at least half of one, but he takes a long drink of water and reminds himself that he's only thinking through scenarios. They're not actually going to do that. He can't imagine he or Kurt handling it well, not at all, and eventually one of them would blame the other. Noah turns up the volume on his earbuds as he pictures it; he's pretty sure if they chose that route, he and Kurt would fall apart, in addition to Finn.
The only way forward that looks even halfway passable in Noah's imagination isn't something he particularly wants, either, but it has an end point, a resolution, and a chance for the three of them to make it out of college intact, and isn't that the end goal? Three degrees, the three of them still in a relationship, and after Finn's done in Madison, they can get him to New York, one way or another.
But when Finn's not in New York, he and Kurt have to act like a couple. Not two-thirds of a threesome, but just a couple. That's something they haven't done, not really, since Thanksgiving, and Noah knows they're going to have to.
Otherwise, in their attempt to have what they want, they might lose everything.
He doesn't know what that means about when Finn is there. He knows that he and Kurt are going to have to work hard not to lose being a couple in the threesome they have. It's been subsumed lately, even when Finn isn't there, and like Noah told Kurt before, he's scared.
Noah comes back to that option a few more times, until the weekend before their finals start. They have a week and a half before they fly to Ohio, staying in Lima for just over a week. Memorial Day and Hannah's birthday and a trip to Cedar Point; and Burt, Carole, or both of them off of work the entire time that the three of them will be there. Noah expects Carole to try to talk Finn out of spending his summer in New York one more time, but maybe the fact that the classes had to be paid for by now will make her stop. Noah's sure Finn hopes so.
"I've been thinking," Noah says softly on Sunday afternoon, after Kurt's called Carole and Noah's called Rina and Shelby, wishing them all a happy mother's day. Kurt pushes his laptop table away and turns towards Noah, apparently sensing immediately how serious it is, just from those three words, and somehow that fact lets Noah keep going. They can't lose that. They can't.
"Things aren't working well this way," Noah continues. "We've talked about that. And I've been trying to figure out what to do. I only came up with three options, and I don't really like any of them, but I really disliked two of them, so." He sighs.
"No, it's not," Kurt agrees, reaching out and taking Noah's hand. "Something has to change, so I assume one of the two was the status quo."
"Yeah. The other was just… well." Noah shakes his head. "Nevermind. The one that seemed like maybe we could make it work. We— we're going to have to be a couple again."
"Not two parts of three," Kurt says quietly. "Because it's breaking us."
"Yeah," Noah agrees. "It is. Just. When Finn's not here, we can't keep putting things off. We have to still be a couple. And." He rubs his hands over his face. "We're still going to miss him, of course. But I think maybe. Fuck, I don't know. I keep Googling this shit, K, and nothing helps."
"I know, baby." Kurt pulls Noah closer, then tugs Noah's head down against his shoulder. "Just tell me. We'll figure it out, however it all sounds."
Noah nods and takes a deep breath. "Maybe we need— there's so much we miss. And the more we have our. Fuck, I don't know what the term is." He laughs harshly, without any humor. "The more we have time that's just Finn and I, or just you and Finn, the more, maybe, that it's hard to remember that we're a couple."
Kurt doesn't say anything for a long moment. He just combs his fingers through Noah's hair, tugging on the stray pieces that are starting to curl, even though it's not that long yet. "If we're ruling out kidnapping Finn and not letting him return to Madison," Kurt says, voice more sad than amused. "Then I'm afraid that you're right."
"I don't like it," Noah assures Kurt.
"No. I don't either." Kurt sighs. "We'll get through finals and get to Lima, I suppose. And then we'll talk to Finn."
Noah winces. "It's not forever. Just until he gets here."
"Three years, give or take," Kurt agrees. "We just have to get to then."
Finn picks them up at the Toledo airport at around a quarter after five. He tosses their bags into the toolbox of his truck, and then they’re zooming down the interstate to Lima – well, not actually zooming, since Finn drives at or below the speed limit to give them as much alone time as possible before a week of family.
They’re quieter than usual, but that’s easy enough to blame on their finals having just finished up. Finn fills up the silence by talking about Syd and the Elevens, about Jamie’s crazy summer backpacking plan, about what he thinks next year’s roster might look like.
“You still have that connection to tickets, darling?” Kurt asks. “Since I’ve heard they’re difficult to get, otherwise.”
“I might be able to make that happen,” Finn says. “I bet that’s doable. I know a guy who knows a guy.”
“Don’t do anything too shady,” Puck jokes. “They probably frown on that.”
“I’m totally shady,” Finn says. “I’m just gonna punch a guy and take his tickets.”
“Just make sure they’re good ones before you do that,” Kurt says, leaning his head against Finn’s shoulder. He takes a deep breath, more like he’s smelling Finn than anything. “At least you aren’t in Canada. There, you’d just have to ask politely, or at least that’s what Zachary claims.”
“We’re not sure when he became an expert on things Canadian, though.”
“I promise I won’t ask even a little bit politely,” Finn says. He runs his hand up and down Kurt’s thigh for a moment before returning it to the steering wheel. “But we don’t have to worry about that for months.”
“That’s true,” Kurt says, his voice slightly muffled as he turns his head, rubbing against Finn like a cat. “Why is it we didn’t manage to talk Dad and Carole out of all those days off?”
“You did try, K,” Puck says. “Your dad just kept talking about Cedar Point and Audrey, which is pretty weird, actually. Audrey can’t ride any roller coasters.”
“Can she even ride the merry-go-round?” Finn asks. “She’s a tiny baby, still.”
“Maybe if Carole’s holding her?” Kurt muses. “Or Dad just thought she’d be amused by watching us on the rides. I don’t know. I thought about Googling and seeing if this was some kind of article on how to reconnect with your college-age kids.”
“I could take her on a roller coaster in the carrier, maybe,” Finn suggests. “That could work.”
“I don’t think so,” Puck counters, shaking his head. “I don’t think that’d be good. Plus she might puke.”
“That’s Dad’s job, I think. Puke.” Kurt shrugs. “Maybe I should have Googled and it would have warned us about anything else, aside from the vacation days and trips.”
“Wait.” Puck sounds suspicious. “We’re going to be around on Monday. Memorial Day. I bet we’re going to that picnic again.”
“Maybe we’ll see Brooklyn!” Finn says. “That would be fun. Sort of just like being in Madison.”
“Always the lesbians, darling,” Puck says wryly. “So are you going to try that new roller coaster?” Puck looks over at Finn and smirks.
“Yeah, I’ll be right at the front of the line, asshole,” Finn grumbles.
“I thought you would be,” Puck says, nodding slowly. “You’re known for your desire to ride record-breaking roller coasters.” He pauses. “Asshole.”
“At least Dad and Carole will eventually go to bed at night,” Kurt sighs. “I didn’t think they’d have enough time to miss us that much, with Audrey, but apparently I was wrong.”
“And it’s just a week, right?” Finn says. “Then we’re in New York again.”
“Just over a week, yeah,” Puck answers, sounding less upbeat than Finn would expect. “Whirlwind tour.”
“Hold still,” Kurt huffs, shaking his head. “Really, darling, this won’t take long if you’d stop laughing every time I try to touch your nose.” Kurt sets the bottle of aloe vera on the table and raises an eyebrow.
“I wouldn’t move if you’d stop trying to touch my nose!” Finn insists. “It probably doesn’t need any aloe.”
“It’s pink,” Kurt says, then waits for Finn to protest that pink doesn’t meant it’s burnt.
“It won’t work, K. He’ll start saying we’re colorblind.”
Kurt sighs. “Probably.”
“Barely pink,” Finn says stubbornly. “I even had sunscreen on!”
“That’s it.” Kurt sighs, trying to sound as dramatic as possible. “Baby, hold him down.” Noah laughs but complies, pushing Finn backwards and then lying across his chest.
“Like this?”
Kurt giggles. “That’ll do.”
“I could get up if I wanted to!” Finn says.
“Mmmhmm.” Kurt finally smears some of the aloe down Finn’s nose, grinning at him triumphantly. “See? I bet that feels better.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Finn grumbles. “It does.”
“Remember,” Noah whispers, even though Kurt can still hear him, “he’s bossofus. Also the pretty one. Just agree with him.”
“I feel so much better now, Kurt,” Finn says, his voice overly enthusiastic. “Thank you for telling Puck to hold me down so you could put aloe on my face!”
Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Oh, you’re welcome, darling. Though I suspect you’re actually just thanking me for the first half of that, not the aloe.”
“I’m a great bonus,” Noah argues, sliding off Finn and pressing against one side, and Kurt mirrors his position.
“Yeah you are,” Finn agrees. He puts his arms around Noah and Kurt and pulls them close.
Kurt buries his face in Finn’s chest, squeezing his eyes shut. They should have said something on Wednesday when Finn picked them up. Or the next day, while they were waiting in lines at Cedar Point or something. Or earlier on Friday, though when exactly, Kurt isn’t sure. “We need to talk to you, darling,” Kurt finally whispers.
“Ok,” Finn says, nuzzling the top of Kurt’s head. “About what? Is everything ok?”
Neither Kurt nor Noah responds immediately, and Kurt can feel the silence stretch too long, becoming taut and stifling. “No,” Kurt says, voice soft. “Not really.”
“Oh…" Finn’s arm around Kurt tightens slightly. “Ok. Well… ok, what’s up?”
“We’re— we’re not doing so great,” Noah admits. “It’s not. Nothing’s at fault, just our.” He stops, like he can’t figure out how to continue.
“Coping, maybe,” Kurt says. “We’re not very good at it, I suppose.” He pauses, waiting to see if Noah continues or Finn reacts.
Finn shifts against them, muscles tensing. “Coping with what?” he asks warily.
“Distance. Balance.” Noah sighs. “We’re— we’ve not been really acting like a couple at all. Even when you’re not there. And we’re going to have to.”
“So… so what does that mean?” Finn asks quietly. “What do you need me to do?”
“We love you. Don’t think we don’t,” Kurt says quickly. “It’s just— we’re going to have to— it has to be both of us. Just.”
“Just for—”
“Yeah, I understand,” Finn interrupts abruptly. “It’s gotta be a package deal now. I get it.”
Kurt relaxes a little, his face still in Finn’s chest. “I suppose that’s one way to put it, yes,” he murmurs.
“You guys have a life together in New York,” Finn says, his tone guarded. “You’ve got to be able to keep that. That’s— I understand.”
“We love you,” Noah says firmly. “We just—” Noah cuts himself off, and Kurt can feel more than see Noah’s head shake.
Kurt isn’t sure how Finn does it, either, in Madison.
“Yeah. I love you guys, too.” Finn’s arms tighten around them again, and he sighs quietly. “Just let me know if I’m doing something that’s not the way it needs done. I’ll do my best to remember it all.”
Kurt spreads his fingers across Finn’s chest, his fingertips brushing against Noah’s, and he sighs. If only it could be this way, always, regardless of semester or who’s watching or any number of other factors outside the three of them. Kurt nods slightly and tilts his head up, barely opening his eyes. He looks at Finn and Noah for a long moment, then sighs and closes his eyes again. “We know,” he whispers. It’s only three years, Kurt tells himself again.
Finn hadn’t expected the summer to be as awkward as a lot of it ends up. He spends a lot of the time checking and rechecking—both with himself and with Kurt and Puck—that his presence in New York isn’t providing too much disruption to Kurt and Puck’s New York life.
The lack of one-on-one time with each of them, that’s both the most obvious thing and the strangest. Of course, Puck and Kurt as a couple and Finn as the sometimes third would mean no more outings as pairs; that should have the first thing Finn thought of. Finn tries to plan a date night for him and Puck to go see a Yankees game, but Puck says either all three of them go or they all three should go do something else… so that’s what they do.
They spend a lot more time with Kurt and Puck’s friends, too. Finn likes all of them, Allison and Zachary especially, but when they’re out with everybody, Finn gets bumped back to brother status. He’s there for so long over the summer, too, and he has his own classes at Hunter, so there’s barely any rearranging of work schedules. The months that Finn had thought would be a mix of time with Kurt, time with Puck, and time with both of them turn into a lot of time with Finn on his own, all of them out with a group of people, and then time with the three of them together.
It’s not bad always doing things with the three of them together. If Finn had to choose between couple stuff and all three of them, he’d almost always choose all three of them. It’s an adjustment, but not as huge a deal as it could be.
Then Kurt gets an invitation to some kind of lecture/performance thing by some director whose name Kurt recognizes and who Finn has never heard of. The invitation is for “student plus one guest,” and there’s never a question that Kurt would bring anybody but Puck. They’re the couple, and Finn is the plus one guest to their relationship. It really sinks in, then, what this package deal means for Finn. Kurt and Puck have each other and their life in New York, the them–together, and Finn has himself alone in Madison and as much of them as they’ll let him have as often as he can see them.
It’ll have to be enough, because the other option seems to be none of them at all, and that’s not an alternative that Finn’s even the slightest bit ok with with. A package deal with them is still better than any relationship Finn’s ever had with one person, and it’s not like they love him any less or want him any less when they’re all three together. It’s just the between times and the subtle differences in the times he’s with them.
Even though Noah’s had Syd’s phone number on his phone for months now, he’s never actually used it. Finn tells them about Syd, and supposedly he tells Syd about them, but Noah and Kurt haven’t ever spoken to her or even emailed her.
Finn calls the first day of camp, though, in the evening, and in addition to the details of his flight and drive the previous day, and how The Doug is just as big, if not bigger, he mentions that since Syd took summer classes, she’s still on campus. So on Friday, when Kurt’s still at work but Noah’s done for the day, he decides to actually call Syd.
The phone only rings twice before she answers, and Noah can tell that she’s confused. He guesses that Syd doesn’t have his and Kurt’s numbers the way they have hers.
“Despite ample photographic evidence, including trips to Pensacola Beach in two successive summers, Finn says you’re still not sure we’re real?” Noah says.
“Wait, don’t tell me,” Syd responds immediately. “Which one are you. Hmm. I’m going to go with… Puck.”
Noah laughs. “Yeah. Well, Finn’s pretty much the only one who still calls me Puck now. Almost everyone else just sticks with Noah.”
“Noah, then. And I’m Syd, as you obviously figured out.”
“I did.” Noah grins to himself. “So how’d you end up a part of the insanity of Finn, again?”
“I may have asked him, repeatedly, if he was lost when he showed up at the QSA last year,” Syd admits, sounding faintly chagrined. “I also might have accused him of pulling a prank.”
Noah laughs. “Yeah, he thought that was hilarious. Seriously, though, it’s good you’re— well, it’s good.” It’s a fine line to walk, being the concerned almost-brother instead of the concerned lover, and since Noah’s not really sure how far back he’d have to go to figure out the difference, he’s just winging it.
“Yeah, I can tell he misses you two pretty much continually,” Syd says matter-of-factly. “And most of the guys here just want to hit on him. He’s made turning people down into an art form, more or less.”
It probably isn’t quite fair to Finn, how smug Syd’s words immediately make Noah feel, but they do. Even though rationally Noah knows that Finn’s not going to be openly seeing any guys, even them, the confirmation is nicer than he would have expected. “Well, he keeps busy,” Noah says non-committally.
“I know. I thought Trish was busy with the Singers, but then here’s Finn, doing Singers and football and a real major.”
Noah laughs. “Yeah, even with the change to psychology, that’s still from a non–football playing major to another one.”
“I meant to ask him about that,” Syd says. “It makes sense, though, you know?”
“Yeah, it does,” Noah agrees, because it makes a perfect sort of sense that Finn would be good at the psychology stuff.
“So you’re just calling to make sure I’m keeping an eye on him?”
Noah snorts, because that’s a lot more true than she knows. “Yeah, and when Meredith releases the roster next week or whenever, someone’s gotta take him out to celebrate since we can’t.”
“He keeps insisting that it’s not a sure thing that he’ll be starting,” Syd says with an exasperated sigh. “And it’s not even put-on.”
“Nope, he seems to think it’s possible Tyche suddenly developed a throwing arm over the summer. Or a brain. Or both.” Noah laughs again, shaking his head. “You’ve probably got shit to do, and I have to go stalk the freezer case at Trader Joe’s for the chocolate cheesecake assortment.”
“I somehow knew we’d get along well,” Syd says. “Does that include chocolate chip cheesecake?”
“It does. If you ever visit with Finn, we’ll let you have those two slices, how’s that?”
“And people say that gays and lesbians have so little common ground. Well. Nice to talk to you finally, Noah. Should I say Puck to Finn?”
“Probably,” Noah concedes.
“Right. And don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him for the two of you.”
Noah grins, because Syd has no idea what she’s really saying. “Yeah, you too, and thanks. Oh, and be sure to get him to show you the shirt he got at Pride!” He ends the call before Syd can ask about it and then stares at his phone for a few minutes. Now that he’s actually talked to Syd, he can figure out the perfect ringtone.