Archive of Our Own

shin ryujin comes into her life unlike most things do: a dizzying wave, receding at the most unsuspecting moment. 

hwang yeji would never have expected it to happen, but there she was; coffee in front of her, open book, and a pretty girl sitting across from her with her own drink. 

the girl looks at her from time to time, brown eyes fitting over her, and as much as she tries to concentrate on the words on the pages, her mind wanders away from the book to the eyes on her. 

eventually, she reads the same line a few more times, gives up and looks at her, eyebrow raised. but the girl does nothing others would do; she smiles at her, and instantly makes her jealous with the confidence she has. 

“what are you looking at?” she finally says, blushing slightly. 

“i like your hair,” the stranger says, nodding at her newly highlighted strands. “it’s pretty.”

yeji’s heart warms because this stranger doesn’t know that she spent hours stressing over whether it would turn out too yellow, or too faded, or just not show at all. 

“thank you. i like your…” yeji looks over at her, looking for something, and her eyes land on her shirt. “…shirt”

the girl laughs. “you could have just said you couldn’t find anything to compliment.” 

yeji is positive she flushes at that, heat crawling to her ears.

“okay, you got me.” she admits. “i wasn’t expecting that. but the cat on your shirt is cute.” like you.

“thank you, it’s my favourite one.” the girl looks pleased, and she seems like she’s waiting for yeji to continue their conversation, so-

“you’re not from around here, are you?” she asks, wondering if she’d just been so busy she didn’t notice such a presence. 

“you got me.” the girl smiles at her. “i’m from seoul. i just got here today.”

“and what brings you here to jeonju?”

“i wanted to spend some time in a place closer to home before going further out again. it sort of gives familiar but new, y’know?”

yeji nods, even though she doesn’t think she knows. “so you travel a lot?”

“oh, travelling is my life. i stop by at different places every once in a while, but never for too long. sort of like a nomad, but i don’t have animals or move around to search for food.” 

“oh, wow.” this information buzzes in yeji’s head, and she seems to look at the stranger in a new light. “that’s so cool.” she says, meaning it. “you go alone and search for everything you need there, then?

“yup, i start afresh everywhere i go.” she tells her. “it’s not easy. i don’t usually find people easily or start talking to them right off the bat, but perhaps you’re just one in a million.”

it’s cheesy, but yeji flushes again, and she can’t fathom how someone could flirt with her so seamlessly while telling her about herself. 

“shin ryujin.” the girl says, a glint of amusement in her eye. 

“from seoul.”

“from seoul.” ryujin agrees. 

“hwang yeji.” yeji shakes her hand. “jeonju.”

“so, yeji from jeonju, have you been here all your life?”

“pretty much. born here, grew up here, and probably destined to stay here for life.” she laughs at herself. “not a very interesting story, is it?”

“everyone has a story to tell. and your story isn’t over yet, either.” ryujin says surprisingly meaningfully, and the words sink into yeji as they lapse into silence. 

“it isn’t,” she says slowly, trying to come up with an answer. “i mean, something’s bound to come up someday.” her brain stops there, refuses to think of anything else, so-

“would you like me to show you a few places here?” she offers, changing the subject.

“would you?” ryujin asks, and she almost looks hopeful. “i could do it myself, and maps would work as well, but i don’t think anything beats having someone moving around with you.”

yeji smiles. “of course. i really do need to get some reading done today, though. and since someone couldn’t let me focus, i should go somewhere i can concentrate more,” she says, making sure ryujin knows she’s joking. 

the other looks sheepish anyway, nodding. “tomorrow, then?”

“works for me.” yeji pushes her book in her bag. “tomorrow, here, ten in the morning?” 

“it’s a date.” ryujin smirks, an odd weight to her words, and yeji’s sure her cheeks are flaming. 

“see you,” she gives her an awkward smile, walking out of the coffee shop. 

(later, as she tries to concentrate on her book again, she wonders why her mind keeps going back to a cheeky smirk, joyful laugh, and soft brown eyes shining with mirth.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

ryujin is already waiting when she gets there the next day, perking up when she arrives. 

“hey!” she pushes herself off the wall she was leaning against. 

“did you wait long?”

“nope.” ryujin replies. “so, where to?”

“i thought i’d let you decide today,” yeji tells her. “touristy or not?”

“i want to see jeonju from your eyes. the eyes of a local are always too different from a tourist.”

it takes yeji aback, the sincerity of her response. she nods slowly, mind racking through the places she could take her. 

“you might be disappointed,” is what she goes with, but ryujin shrugs. 

“try me. i’ve been to enough places to know that the places locals like best are the ones that are the most special.”

yeji thinks for a moment, running through places she goes to. she finds one soon enough, and it may be a bit underwhelming, but since ryujin wants something local, she decides to give it a try. 

“hmm, follow me.”

“did you ever finish what you meant to, by the way?” ryujin asks. “sorry for disturbing you.”

“no, no.” yeji laughs, waving the apology away. “i’m a book critic. yesterday was me trying to get some reading done, but i already do that too much, so it was nice for a change. we’re going to my second home anyway.”

when she pushes open the door to her usual place, shelves of books tower over them, and the scent makes her relax into the hold of place, as always. 

“so,”

“you’re a bookworm, aren’t you?” ryujin laughs. 

“i’m a book critic. but yes, i am. you said you wanted to see what i like!”

“i know, i know. go on,” 

“this is probably the only place in this whole city i could spend a whole day in. when i really need to focus, i take my laptop and sit there with a book. the things i can get done within this time are insane.”

ryujin nods, urging her to continue.

there’s nothing interesting left to say, so yeji shrugs. “i told you you might be disappointed. there’s nothing too special about this place.”

“did you bring your book?”

“yes, why?”

“you wouldn’t mind if i sat with you for today, would you?”

“what, and just read?” yeji asks incredulously. 

ryujin shrugs. “why not, i have time. where do you usually sit?”

“the second floor sort of overlooks the whole place, it’s a nice place to be.” yeji gestures for her to follow along, and they settle at her usual spot, ryujin quickly picking a book off a shelf.

“this is my comfort book,” she explains. “i thought it’d be nice to give it a reread.”

yeji nods in approval. “you have taste, i see.”

“well, i’m with you, so it makes sense.” ryujin says charmingly, and yeji raises an eyebrow, even if she flushes.

ryujin has mercy on her, merely letting out a chuckle. “so, what made you a book critic?” 

the question itself surprises her; there’s already an answer surfacing at the back of her mind, something about flexibility and freedom she would normally deflect it with, but ryujin is looking at her like she’d actually listen, so she holds them back, pushes them away, and tells her the real answer. 

“it’s the reading part of it that really stuck with me since young.” she says slowly. “when i read, it’s like i can momentarily forget who i am and the fact that i’m just a girl in a small town, and it’s like i become the character, follow their journey as if it’s my own. it makes me feel like the main character of a story, you know? 

“and what about your own story?”

“life here isn’t that interesting. there’s nothing much in my story. same old, every day.”

“everyone has a story.” ryujin argues. “look, there.” she points down, and yeji sees a pair doing their work together, papers splayed across the table like a piece of art. “they’re probably studying for a test they have. same old, right? but they’re together, and we know that they have their own story to tell, no matter how boring studying might be.”

“and her,” ryujin gestures to a girl, sitting in the corner with a thick book. “she’s just reading, nothing special. but she has earphones in, and there are more books next to her. that’s something, isn’t it?”

yeji nods slowly. “they’re doing the little things they can, to make their days more special.”

“bingo. it’s not the big things that matter, it’s the small ones that make life interesting.” ryujin smiles at her, and yeji finds herself nodding along, appreciating the new perspective.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

it’s their fifth meeting when yeji realises that shin ryujin is not as cool or indifferent as she perceives, but it’s cute nonetheless. 

(she doesn’t admit that to herself, but she thinks it’s something she should probably address. later. maybe.)

“where to, unnie?” ryujin asks her when she arrives. it’s a mystery, how she always manages to arrive earlier than her, even though yeji is always early. 

“i’ll show you one of my favourite spots today. it’s a lookout from the top of a mountain.” yeji says cheerfully, and ryujin nods, following her footsteps. 

it’s not a short walk to the top of the mountain, but when they reach the top, it’s like they’ve been rewarded with the view. the weather was good to them today, and the skies are blue with clouds scattered across the canvas. 

“here we are,” yeji says, walking to the railing and looking around. “beautiful, isn’t it?”

“yeah,” ryujin says, coming up from behind her. 

(what she doesn’t notice is the way she lags behind, moving slowly, a tremor in her voice.)

“i like to come here when the weather is clear. it helps me get away from everything that’s so chaotic down there, you know? it’s just so calming being up above everything- ryujin?” yeji notices the way the younger seems to stand rigidly, knuckle tight grip on the railing. 

“hmm?”

“are you okay?”

ryujin hums, nods without looking at her, but when yeji catches the way she squints and her face scrunches up, she chuckles. scared as she is, ryujin looks so cute that she can’t help but tease her. 

“aw, are you afraid of heights?”

“stop it, unnie.” ryujin protests, but her eyes are wide, fixed on the view below like she’s unable to look somewhere else. 

“ryujin?” yeji moves closer, placing a hand on her arm. the younger startles, turning to look at her. she exhales in relief when she seems to realise it’s just yeji, even though they were standing right next to each other the whole time. 

“i’m fine,” she says unconvincingly. raising an eyebrow, yeji pulls her away from the edge, wrapping an arm around her. she realises then that the younger is shaking slightly, her frame tense. 

“why did you agree to come here, hmm?”

ryujin deflates. “you said it was one of your favourite spots. and it is beautiful. it’s just…” her eyes fit around the place again, wandering downwards, and yeji understands, surprised yet a warm feeling in her chest at the admission. 

she gives her a moment, then, “how about i hold onto you like this,” she squeezes her shoulder, “you hold onto the railing, and in no circumstance do you ever look directly downwards. would it be better?” 

ryujin gives her a small smile. “we can try.” 

they walk together to the edge, and the younger grips the railing tightly. yeji runs a tentative hand up her arm, and starts pointing out all the things they can see from up high. 

“pretty, isn’t it?” she asks again after a while, gazing out into the distance. 

she feels ryujin relax slightly in her hold. “it is.” the younger agrees, and she beams. 

(what she doesn’t say, however, is that she wasn’t just talking about the view.) 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

it becomes a regular thing. outings to a new place at least once a week, finishing around late afternoon, then going for early dinner; a new place yeji’s been wanting to try, or one that she loves and wants to show ryujin. ryujin tries to make her flustered, and it works most of the time, yeji ending up grumbling something about how she needs to stop doing it.

(she also doesn’t want her to stop, but that’s another story.)

she notes that she doesn’t know anything too personal about her, just that she has a charming sense of confidence, careful words that put her to shame and a gentle flame in her eyes. that eventually changes as ryujin shares more, instead of being content to just listen to yeji ramble and throw in a few lines that catch her off guard. the younger is more quiet than expected, given her initial boldness, but yeji learns that it’s part of her charm. 

when she walks up to ryujin one day, the other is speaking to a phone, face lit up. it sparks a weird feeling inside her, and she covers it with a smile. 

“hey!” the younger turns over. “oh, ryeong, yuna-yah, this is yeji unnie.” she turns the phone to face yeji. 

“hi, unnie!” a redhead says, and someone else leans into the frame. 

“hi,-“

“oh, you’re yeji unnie! it’s nice to meet you, ryujin unnie was right. you’re really pretty!” the new addition to the call says excitedly, and that weird feeling is replaced by amusement, curiosity. when she eyes ryujin next to her, the younger avoids her gaze, glaring at the phone. 

“she also says she-“

“okay, okay yuna, that’s enough.” ryujin turns the phone away, making an expression that has her chuckling. 

“ryu, yuna was-“

“no. i’ll talk to you guys later,” ryujin says petulantly, and she’s pretty sure she hears the muffled sound of laughter before the call ends. “sorry about that.”

“your sisters?” yeji stifles a laugh. 

“both by heart, one by blood. ryeong’s been with me since we were children and yuna’s my younger sister.” ryujin smiles, and yeji notes that her eyes glimmer fondly when talking about people she loves. 

“with how you all acted, i would have thought you were the youngest.”

“i’ll have you know that i’m the oldest,” ryujin huffs, pocketing her phone. “so, where to?”

“i thought today we’d be a bit touristy and go to deokjin park,” yeji tells her, and ryujin frowns. 

“i thought we-“

“there won’t be a lot of people, i promise, if that’s what you’re worried about. trust me?”

ryujin looks at her sceptically, before begrudgingly agreeing, following the direction yeji takes. 

“any reason you’re so opposed to tourist spots?”

“when too many people visit a place, it becomes less special, and doesn't give off the real vibe of the place anymore. makes it feel impersonal, y’know? especially since locals stop going. it doesn’t feel like the real place anymore.”

yeji nods slowly. “you don’t have to worry about that. we’re pretending to be tourists, but not exactly as well.” she grins at her. 

they arrive at the park soon enough, and it’s flooded with people, tourists taking pictures and families on outings. ryujin eyes her, and yeji raises her eyebrows. 

“trust the process, ryujin.” she leads her through a small side path, past a few old style houses, and they end up at a clearing, exactly the same as the tourist spot but void of any people. “here we are!”

it’s the same wooden bridge over the lake, except that it looks much newer. the water shimmers underneath, still except for an occasional ripple, and pink lotus flowers bloom on the surface, the sweet colours mixing in to create a perfect canvas. 

“are you sure we’re allowed here?” ryujin says, suspicious. 

“i happened to have a nice chat with the gardener one day, as in the person who maintains these,” she gestures at the lotus flowers around. “and when he had to go he said i was welcome back here any time. this is the first time i’m cashing that offer in, though. deokjin park is a beautiful place, but i agree with you that the tourists can sometimes ruin it, so i figured this is probably the only spot where you can be a tourist without the annoying parts. it’s a well known place in jeonju, after all.”

“oh,” ryujin seems stumped for a moment. “thank you,” she says, surprise evident on her features. 

“you seem surprised.” yeji laughs. “too much?”

“no, no.” ryujin waves a hand in the air, as if to dispel yeji’s thought. “people don’t usually do this type of stuff for me, that’s all.”

“well, i hope that you know that i’m having fun with this, and i think it’s nice that i get to do this as well.”

she feels eyes on her, and looks over to the younger. “what?”

“nothing,” ryujin says, turning away. “it’s good, that’s all. that you’re enjoying yourself, i mean. i’m not the most talkative person.”

“who says you have to talk a lot to make it interesting? besides, i think i’ve done enough talking for the two of us combined.” yeji jokes.

ryujin hums. “that, you have. probably in a few hours, too.”

“yah, you’re not supposed to agree!”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

one evening, yeji takes her first to her favourite convenience store. ryujin pays for their food much to her dismay, (it’s the least she can do, she says) and they come out holding plastic bags.

“i’ll take you to a gem today.” yeji tells her. 

“oh?”

“other than my bed, it’s my favourite spot in the world.” she says, and they round the corner to her beach.

“what is it?”

“say no more, ryujin. here we are,” yeji says. being there always made her feel free, something about the salt in the breeze mingling with waves against the shore giving her a feeling of home. she lays out the blanket she brought, setting down the bags of food.

“oh,” ryujin smiles, even though the look in her eyes has changed into something more foreign, more raw. 

“did it surprise you?”

“beaches are my favourite place,” she says softly, and yeji knows she means it wholeheartedly, by the way she sits down and doesn’t care whether her pants get sandy, when she fists the sand and lets it fall through her fingers, from the way she gazes at the waves almost hypnotically. 

yeji smiles, a tenderness she didn’t know existed blooming in her chest. 

“why?” she asks, watching as peace takes over the usually indifferent, joking expression. 

“when the thoughts get too loud, you don’t want anything bothering you anymore, you know? it’s like- i’ve always loved to sit at the beach wherever i go. it helps me relax.”

yeji hums, sits down next to her. “me too. i’ve always loved the sound of the waves and sometimes the wind, and it gives me a bit of loud silence, which helps me think in a way i would never be able to back home.”

the younger nods and doesn’t say anything, and so yeji voices out what she’s been thinking ever since wanting to bring her to the beach.

“can you… tell me about the places you go?”

ryujin chuckles. “what do you want to know?”

“none of the general, pretty things. tell me how they make you feel. what makes you think the most. where you’re most comfortable.”

ryujin stills next to her, an unreadable look on her face, and yeji nearly opens her mouth to take it all back when-

“no one’s ever asked me that before.”

the reply comes easy. “well then, let me be the first.”

a small smile spreads across the younger’s face, a different weight to it. “are you sure?”

“never been more certain.”

so ryujin speaks, gesturing occasionally. yeji’s head eventually ends up on her shoulder, a position they don’t notice until ryujin raises her shoulder one time, yeji shooting up immediately. the younger looks up at her, as if she just noticed, and it cuts their conversation abruptly. yeji can feel a blush creep up her neck even though it’s too dark for anyone to see. 

“sorry. is it… okay?” she asks tentatively.

ryujin looks at her for a while, then nods slowly, patting her shoulder again, and yeji shyly puts her head back where she was. ryujin pats her head hesitantly, continuing what she was saying, and the soft rhythm of her voice brings yeji a sense of calm. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“isn’t it great that there’s no one here?” yeji says, spinning around. “come on, ryujin. don’t let me look like an idiot alone.”

“i’d rather watch, thanks.” the younger looks at her, amused. 

“come on,”

“i’ll pass.”

“please,” she says, and the twinkle in ryujin’s eyes betray her head shake.

“i know you want to.”

“i don’t know, it’s pretty funny watching you do it as well.”

“stop teasing me!” yeji whines, tugging at ryujin’s arm. the younger lets herself be pulled, laughing at her as she obliges. 

“see, i knew you wanted to! you just wanted to make me look silly,” yeji pouts.

ryujin giggles as she spins around, and lines form on her cheekbones, bracketing the bottom of her eyes. her nose scrunches, and yeji is immediately mesmerised with those- are they dimples? 

“jinnie,” she murmurs subconsciously, the name fitting so perfectly it hurts.

ryujin looks at her even though she’s too far away to have heard, and those dimples catch her again. she can’t help smiling fondly at the younger, heart twisting into something she’s never felt before. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“jisu wants to meet you,” yeji tells her one day, looking down at her phone. ryujin looks up, confused. “my best friend,” she clarifies. “she says she wants to see who i’ve been hanging out with.”

“sure,” she says, surprising yeji with her speed. 

“that’s it?”

ryujin looks up at her. “i can say no if you want.”

“no,” she says quickly. “but jisu can be a bit… much.”

ryujin merely shrugs. “you’ve seen how much of a handful yuna and ryeong can be. i’m sure the three of them would be a great match, then.”

yeji sighs, looking down at her phone. 

“what? really, unnie, i can really say no if you want me to.”

“no, no. it’s not that.”

“then what is it.”

“she’s asking if tomorrow is okay.”

“sure, why not.”

“what jisu wants, jisu gets.” yeji mutters to herself as she types a reply, and ryujin stifles a laugh from next to her.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“i can’t believe you haven’t died yet.” is the first thing jisu says when she sees yeji. “i haven’t seen you in an eternity, yeji-yah.”

“jisu, it was not that long.” yeji sighs, hugs her anyway. 

“ryujin, this is jisu. jisu, this is ryujin from seoul.”

“nice to meet you, even though yeji stopped coming by for a while ‘cause of you.”

“yah!”

ryujin merely gives her a scandalous look. “yeji unnie, how could you ditch girl code?”

“oh, you and i are going to get along so well.” jisu slings an arm around her, much to yeji’s dismay, and starts uncovering some of yeji’s most embarrassing moments, ignoring yeji’s protests.

“why did i do this to myself,” yeji slumps onto the table after a particularly mortifying story.

“what, it’s cute!” jisu says, and ryujin nods.

the rest of their conversation is light, and yeji is glad that jisu has that charm where she knows how to fill silences with something meaningful, to ask questions that are curious but not invasive, and to make someone feel like they’re truly being heard. that, along with the adorable smile, breaks the ice almost immediately, 

halfway through one of ryujin’s own tales, her phone buzzes. the younger looks over at it, frowning.

“shoot, i have to go. got something to do,” she says apologetically.

“don’t worry about it, ryujin. we’ll talk again?” jisu beats her to it, and yeji nods. even though it was a few hours she never wants to repeat again, she found herself enjoying the talk towards the end, especially when they changed the topic and left her childhood alone.

ryujin nods, smiling. “i’ll leave you guys to it, then?”

“sure. see you around, ryujin.”

“you’ll get back okay?”

“yah, unnie, i’m not a child,” ryujin laughs as she waves, the door swinging shut behind her. 

jisu laughs, and yeji whips her head towards her. 

“what?”

“you’ve got to stop acting like this, yeji-yah. i understand why you stopped coming by now.”

yeji splutters, face flushing red. 

“what do you mean?”

“you know what i mean. you’ve always liked pretty girls, after all.” jisu says, waving a hand.

yeji doesn’t know, but she shrugs and lets the topic pass.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

so, yeji’s kind of screwed. she kind of does know what jisu means. 

she doesn’t know when it all changed, or when it became all about playful teases or shining eyes or those damned dimples, but well, it has. 

she doesn’t tell jisu about it, knowing she would get more than a whack in the head and endless hours of teasing. chaeryeong and yuna are out of the question, given she’s only spoken to them a few times and they’d probably tell ryujin. and there’s no way in the universe she’s going to tell ryujin. not a single possibility.

so she sits with the thought herself. turns it over and over in her mind, trying to come up with a suitable explanation.

“can we go back to the beach again?” ryujin asks one day, as it nears evening. 

“you like it there, don’t you?”

the younger shrugs. “it’s comfortable.” 

“sure,” she agrees easily. “should we bring food and watch the sunset?”

ryujin’s face lights up immeasurably, and oh- she can feel it, a small flicker deep in her mind, travelling all the way down to her chest, to her toes. it warms her, lights something she’s never felt before, even as her traitorous mind reminds her of reality.

she’s falling, a trail of flames in her wake, and it burns .

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

as yeji lays down the blanket, ryujin sits on it, opening her mocha bread. 

“your favourite, eh?”

“i’ve tried the mocha bread practically everywhere. it’s the one constant wherever i go,” ryujin grins. “this one is not bad, it’s similar to the one in seoul.”

“it must be hard to not have anything that’s fixed.” yeji sympathises.

“it’s not always easy, but i like it, so i make do. do you like where you are now?” ryujin asks her.

“i don’t know. sometimes i feel like this life was set up for nothing, you know? i like what i do, the comfort jeonju provides, but really, is this it? i don’t know if i can spend the rest of my life doing this.”

“unnie, you’re not that old, you know?” ryujin laughs. “i like to think that everyone’s purpose is a fire inside them. sometimes it’s so small you can’t feel it, but it’s always there. someday, it’ll burn so brightly you’ll follow it to find your own meaning and tame it.”

“and if you don’t?”

ryujin shrugs. “i’ve never tried. if you don’t, well, i guess there’s a point where it burns you. i found my fire early, which is why i travel so much. it’s what i love.”

“but don’t you ever get tired of moving around?”

“not really. travelling has become a part of me since ages ago, and the feeling of landing in a place where you know nothing and nothing knows you is just… indescribable, you know? i’d never let anyone take that from me. it’s who i am.”

“the fire, it never goes out, does it?”

“it doesn’t, but i never got that far in my theory. if it even is one, that is.”

“maybe it becomes a firework then, if you do enough.”

“that’s counterintuitive, isn’t it?”

“the smallest match can light the fuse for a firework.”

“that’s true, too. maybe at the end, we’re meant to watch our own fireworks.”

the sun dips over the horizon, turning the sky an orangey crimson. ryujin gazes at it, eyes sparkling, and yeji finds herself looking at the younger, mesmerised by the way the sunset reflects in her eyes.

“it’s beautiful,” ryujin says, a small smile on her face as she tears off another piece of her mocha bread.

“it is,” yeji says, unable to tear her eyes off her dimples.

(she feels eyes on her, and her cheeks slowly grow hot. the sky is red, and she hides her face in its shadow, grateful that nature seems to be working with her for once.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

so, ryujin likes beaches. yeji doesn’t think much of it, at least. not until she receives a text late at night from an unknown instagram account. 

ryeongchae_

hi, is this yeji unnie? it’s ryujin’s friend, chaeryeong!

hwangyeji_526

hi, chaeryeong! is there anything i can help you with?

ryeongchae_ 

i hope you don’t mind that i contacted you without asking

i was wondering if you’ve seen ryujin today? she hasn’t responded to my texts since yesterday afternoon

yeji frowns, mind wandering to where the younger could be. 

hwangyeji_526

i haven’t seen her today, but i think i might have an idea of where she is

i’ll let you know if i find her?

ryeongchae_

it’s late though, will you be okay?

hwangyeji_526

all’s good. i know this area well

ryeongchae_

okay, well, call me if you need anything, unnie. 

hwangyeji_526

will do, chaeryeong :)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

yeji walks over to the beach, hoping she find who she’s looking for. as she steps into sand, she spots a figure in the distance and walks towards it. when she nears, the figure looks up, as if sensing her presence. 

“ryujin?”

“unnie?” 

“i was looking for you.”

“how did you know i’d be here?”

“there aren’t many places you’ve outright said makes you comfortable.” yeji chuckles, sitting next to her. 

ryujin hums, gives her nothing for a while, before-

“why are you here?”

“chaeryeong was worried about you, enough to hunt me down on instagram and text me.”

ryujin lets out a short laugh, and yeji frowns. “enough about that. why are you here?”

the younger looks like she thinks for a while before sighing, shoulders sagging. 

“the thoughts got too loud today, and i needed a place that could calm me down.”

“oh,” yeji says, suddenly feeling bad for intruding. “do you want me to leave, then? i can tell chaeryeong you’re alive anyway.”

ryujin seems to consider this for a moment, and even though yeji understands, it still chips at her hope. “it’s okay,” she eventually says, surprising yeji. “it’s your spot, anyway. i’m just borrowing it while i’m here.”

it confuses yeji for a moment, then she remembers that ryujin is only here for a while, and it hits her like a brick. still, she tucks it in a corner in her mind to process later, hugging her knees to her chest. they sit in silence for a while, content with the waves filling the air. 

hwangyeji_526

found her. everything’s okay, don’t worry

“have you ever felt like you never belonged anywhere?” ryujin’s voice floats over, softer than before, and yeji pockets her phone, tries not to say the first response that comes to mind, thinking through her words carefully. 

“sometimes. i wonder why i’m still here, in jeonju, when i could be anywhere. i love it here, but at the same time my soul feels like it’s not where i’m supposed to be as well.”

ryujin hums. “i love travelling, you know that. but sometimes everything blurs together and it’s like i don’t have anywhere to go back to, you know?” she hugs her knees tighter. “seoul is my home, but i don’t stay for more than a few months at a time, and i’m away for so long there are some days i can barely remember what my house looks like.” 

“you know, from what you’ve been saying, i think your home is yourself, ryujin. it doesn’t matter where you go when you trust yourself to be your own home, because you will always be comfortable no matter where you physically are.”

the younger considers this for a moment. “i never thought about it that way,” she says. “but still, the frustration builds up, you know? and then there are days like this where i don’t know what to do, cause everything feels like it’s in a mess.”

“come, let me show you something.” yeji stands up, offering ryujin a hand. she tugs her along as she runs across, the younger letting out a squeak of surprise before picking up her speed. 

“what is it?” 

“haven’t you ever felt how freeing it is to run on the beach?” yeji yells over the wind in her face. 

“no!” ryujin yells back. 

“then run!”

they reach the other end soon enough, and yeji stops. 

“i like to scream at the waves. they seem to understand the storm in our minds, you know? like this.” she faces the waters. “i want to do something exciting!” she screams, and the sound dissipates in the air. 

ryujin looks at her curiously, slightly startled. 

“go on, try it. it’s more cathartic than you think.”

the younger looks out into the distance, then back at her again, and yeji nods encouragingly. 

“i hate feeling like this!” ryujin yells. 

“louder!”

“i fucking hate feeling like this!”

“what she said!”

“i want to feel like i’m enough for myself!”

“i want to go home !”

ryujin lets out a guttural scream, and it takes yeji aback. she wonders how long the younger must have held that in for that much frustration to build up. when she stops, chest heaving, yeji pretends not to notice the tear that had slid down the side of her face, or the way she wipes it away quickly.

“you pack a punch, don’t you?” she says, eyes twinkling in amusement. 

ryujin shrugs sheepishly. “stress relief?”

yeji nods. “i hope that whenever you feel like this again, you’ll be able to let it all out and let the waves carry away your worries.”

“thank you, unnie.”

“and if you ever- if you ever want to go somewhere close to home but also different again, you can always come back here.” yeji says, and judging by the unguarded look on the younger, she clearly hadn’t expected it. 

“i’ll keep that in mind,” ryujin says slowly, as if letting the words sink in. there’s a small pause before ryujin’s brows furrow. “sorry, do you mind if i-“ she gestures in the general direction at the beach.

yeji nods, and ryujin takes off running at a speed that surprises her, quickly becoming a speck in the distance. chuckling at her fondly. she looks back at the sea, breathing in the salty air, and before she knows it,-

“unnie, come on!” ryujin runs back to her, slightly out of breath, grabs her arm, and yeji lets herself be pulled along.

a loud laugh from ryujin brings her back to reality, with those dimples on her cheeks, and yeji finds herself smiling at the younger brightly. they come to a stop near their original spot. 

“you were right,” ryujin pants. “it’s pretty cathartic.”

“what did i say?” yeji says, proud of herself. “next time, just come here and let it all out. it doesn’t matter whether i’m here or not, you can still do the same.”

“it’s… more fun with you around, though,” ryujin says, eyes shining, and yeji feels a warmth spread across her chest at the admission. she squeezes the younger’s hand (when had they started holding hands?) and smiles at her in what she hopes conveys her sentiment.

“sleep at mine today. i’m not letting you go back on your own at this hour.” she says instead, and leaves no room for argument even if her voice comes out uncertain. 

“i don’t want to-“

“you’re not imposing, ryujin. you’re a friend, and friends are never a bother.”

“okay,” ryujin says softly, and yeji pulls her by the hand as they start the walk back to her place.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

later, while brushing their teeth, ryujin catches her eye in the mirror.

“what?” she says though a mouthful of foam. 

the younger merely shrugs, wiggling her eyebrows. she’s wearing one of yeji’s old pajamas. it was slightly oversized in yeji, and on ryujin even more so, the sleeves covering her hands, pants pooling at her ankles. 

yeji laughs at her, and ryujin shoots her a mock glare before they realise how ridiculous they look in the mirror, doubling over in a fit of bubbly giggles. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

ryujin stares pointedly at yeji’s bed, the only one in the room.

“have we turned into the book characters yet?” she teases. 

“shut up,” yeji rolls her eyes. “it’s a trundle. you don’t need to worry.”

“aw, and here i was thinking i wouldn’t mind sleeping with you for a night.”

yeji’s blush runs all the way from her cheeks down her neck. 

“you did that on purpose, didn’t you?” she grumbles, shooting her a glare. 

ryujin raises her hands in surrender. “i did nothing, unnie. it’s all you.”

“shut up.” 

ryujin laughs at her, and an unknown feeling blooms in yeji’s chest despite the fire in her cheeks. 

later, as yeji subconsciously pulls the blanket up to her chin, a voice floats up from below. 

“unnie?” ryujin whispers in the dark. 

“hmm?” yeji responds, fighting the sleep claiming her.

“thank you.”

“you’re welcome, jinnie.” yeji murmurs back, and she thinks she hears a squeak of surprise and some spoken words, but by then, she had drifted off to sleep. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“morning, yeji-yah,” ryujin says when yeji shuffles to the living room, a mischievous look in her eyes. “i hope you didn’t mind that i used your coffee machine.”

“what happened to unnie?” yeji pouts, disregarding the latter half of the sentence. 

“what happened to ryujin?” the younger retorts. her mind is blank for a moment, then it comes back in voices, and when it finally settles on her, her eyes nearly pop out of her head, warmth rising to her cheeks. 

“i actually said that?” 

“you did. now tell me, yeji-yah,” ryujin grins, and goosebumps rise on her skin. “how long have you been wanting to call me that?”

“…too long.”

“since when?”

“that day i first brought you to the beach.”

“why?” she doesn’t hear anything but genuine curiosity, so she tells the truth, although she’s pretty sure her cheeks can’t turn any redder. 

“when you were spinning around in the sand, and there was this smile on your face, the one with the dimples here,” she gestures at her cheekbones. “you looked so cute it just popped into my head.” 

“oh,” ryujin says, stares at her and doesn’t say anything more. yeji panics, a stream of words flowing out of her before she can stop it. 

“is that okay? i mean uh- i’ve been calling you that in my head but it’s okay if-“

“no, no.” ryujin places a hand on her shoulder, and yeji’s mind short circuits. “you can call me that, really.” she smiles, her dimples showing, and yeji marvels at the way it looks exactly the same as it did that day. 

“there,” she points. “it’s that look, exactly.”

“someone once called it whiskers, ‘cause they apparently make me look like a cat.”

“it suits you, really. you’re like a cat.”

“you’re one to talk, cat eyes.” ryujin teases, before her face turns more serious. “but it’s fine, really, yeji-yah.” yeji will have to get used to that sometime soon. “call me anything you want.” 

“okay, darling.” the intrusive thought slips out before she can stop it, and ryujin freezes momentarily before shooting her a glare. she smirks to cover her relief and embarrassment, patting her arm. 

“kidding, jinnie.” 

ryujin murmurs something under her breath. 

“what was that?” 

“nothing. so, where to?”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

something shifts, after that night. as if they haven’t been going there enough, the beach becomes their spot. yeji relinquishes her sole ownership of the location much too easily, and soon enough, she convinces ryujin to stay the night again. 

“there you go again,” yeji leans down, pokes her dimple.

“can i tell you a secret?”

“hmm?”

“they only come out when i’m really, really happy,” ryujin stage whispers.

“does that mean you’re really happy now, then?” she expects a teasing remark, but-

“yeah,” the younger says softly instead, avoiding her eyes. a shy smile makes itself present, and yeji puts her hand on her arm.

“good,” she says. “‘cause i'm really happy when i’m with you too.” 

“yeah?” ryujin looks up at her, eyes hopeful, and yeji pokes her cheek again.

“course, jinnie. i’m glad i offered to show you around jeonju.”

“you know, it wasn’t easy to talk to you,” ryujin confesses, surprising her, because all there was that first day was confidence. “it’s not every day you strike up a nice conversation with someone, and i was scared i would mess it up. even now, sometimes.”

“do you think you did?”

“have i?” 

yeji shakes her head slowly. 

“you’ve done everything right so far.”

“then, that’s good,” ryujin exhales in what looks a lot like relief, and a silence falls over them. 

“i like this side of you, jinnie. it’s cute.” yeji speaks her mind.

ryujin flushes, and yeji pokes her red cheek for the third time. 

“i think,” she starts, hesitant. “i’d like to keep this side visible to only you and me. is that okay?”

“no one else?”

“not another soul.” ryujin looks at her, a sincere sparkle in her eyes. it makes yeji feel things she shouldn’t, a warm importance blanketing their conversation. 

“okay,” she whispers, afraid to break the moment. 

and then ryujin smiles, and it’s so soft, so unguarded, that yeji stops for a moment, feeling her own smile on her face. 

yeah, her heart tells her traitorously as she gazes at the younger. you’re in deep trouble.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“do you want my jumper?”

“you’ll be cold. it’s okay,” ryujin shakes her head vehemently. 

“i run hot, jinnie. you’ll freeze.”

“i’m fine, really.”

yeji looks at the baggy jumper she has on, then at ryujin, shivering from the cold. 

fuck me, she thinks, and wraps her arms around ryujin’s, leaning her head on her shoulder. 

(she notes how the sleeves drape over her arms, and her heart falls just a bit more as she takes it in.)

“hi,” she whispers into her ear. 

“hi,” ryujin says quietly, and doesn’t shrink away. yeji thinks she can feel the thudding of the younger’s heartbeat through their clothes; it’s beating too fast to be normal, but she dismisses it, focused on making sure the younger is comfortable.

“is this warmer?”

ryujin hums, and yeji gives in, shifts, holds her a bit tighter. 

(she does run hot, she realises as she fights the urge to melt into her. her chin digs into her shoulder, and she shivers, red crawling to her cheeks.

“still cold?” she hears a murmur from behind. 

she shakes her head, trying not to think too much of the warmth emanating from her.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ 

“yeji-yah, you bought the bingsu, now eat it,” ryujin glares at her, no weight to it.

“in a bit,” yeji says, holding ryujin’s phone up and hitting record. “you go first!”

“unnie, i already tried, it’s your turn.”

“come on, jinnie.” yeji pouts. “humour me?”

“only if you eat this first.” the younger jabs the spoon in her direction, piled with the shaved ice, and yeji opens her mouth obediently. the dessert is cold and sweet against her tongue, and coupled with the person who gives it to her, she doesn’t think it could taste better. ryujin scoops again, and yeji focuses the camera on her face as she eats it.

“good?”

the younger nods in earnest, grinning at the camera. yeji does a little happy shake on the recording, and a spoonful is waiting for her when she puts the phone down. 

“i see why you like this place,” ryujin says, cheeks puffed up and grinning even as she shivers. 

“eat slowly!” yeji chastises her. 

“it’s good!”

the next mouthful she eats makes her wince at the temperature, and ryujin giggles.

“eat slowly, yeji-yah. you’ll freeze.” 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ 

“yeji, i said i didn’t wanna go to tourist spots!”

“it’s early morning, jinnie. no one’s gonna be there. besides, isn’t it fun to pretend to be tourists? we get to laugh at the awkward way they treat us!”

ryujin sighs, but lets yeji bring her to the hanok village, excitedly ask the staff there about wearing hanboks and take pictures of her because you can’t not have pictures when you’re wearing hanboks.  

“come on, yeji, at this rate my phone storage’s gonna be full. let me take pictures of you instead.” ryujin makes a face at her, and yeji takes a photo of that nose scrunch before relenting. 

“hold your plaits up like this,” ryujin mimes holding up the two ends to each side, and yeji copies her. the younger nods approvingly, instructing her to do a few more poses.

“wait,” she bends down, holding her phone at a lower angle. she wobbles dangerously in the shoes, and yeji frowns. 

“jinnie, you’ll- jinnie!” the younger teeters, arms out, then falls, landing on her hands. 

ryujin flips over to sit, laughs at herself, then waves a hand, stopping her from running over. “i’m fine, come on. let me take a few more. the lower angle is nice anyway.”

yeji shakes her head. “are you-“

“yeji-yah, i’m fine, i swear. this angle is nicer, and i’m here anyway. it’s not every day you get to sit on the floor in a hanbok.” the younger grins, whiskers showing, and holds up the phone again. yeji shakes her head fondly, posing anyway, and ryujin clicks the shutter a few more times before nodding. 

“okay, done.” 

yeji rushes over to help her, loses her balance, and ends up on the ground next to her. ryujin’s laughter rings through the trees, and yeji can’t help but smile, even though her ass kinda hurts. 

“are you okay?” ryujin asks, amusement in her eyes. 

“perfectly fine.”

“sure,”

yeji pouts at her, and ryujin laughs. 

“come on, you big baby,” she climbs up and yeji takes her offered hand, grumbling as she pulls herself up. ryujin returns  her phone, and she scrolls through the pictures, feeling eyes on her. what she sees punches the air out of her, and she thinks if ryujin ever wanted to settle down somewhere, there would be a career as a photographer waiting for her.

“are they okay?”

she looks up to see ryujin looking over her shoulder, a much too soft look in her eyes. the younger looks at her, and there’s a hint of pride, evident fondness in her expression.

“yeah,” yeji says, breathless. “i think these are the best photos someone’s ever taken of me.” the younger had captured the exact moment her dimple peeks into her cheek when she smiles, and the angle it’s taken at only emphasises the way the sun reflects off her eyes.

a smile lights up ryujin’s face, warm, soft, shy. it makes her feel all sorts of things, and when the younger turns away quickly (she doesn’t know why), the moment fades as soon as it came.

“good, cause it’s five thousand won per photo.”

“yah!”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

they’re back at the beach again, one night. yeji brings the blanket as always, sets it on the floor, and they sit down, yeji’s head automatically falling onto ryujin’s shoulder. 

“tell me something. anything.” yeji requests, and ryujin thinks for a moment, puts an arm around her before her eyes light up in remembrance.

“when i was little, ryeong and i used to pretend that we were travelling the world. we’d take our backpacks and walk around pretending we were going on adventures.”

“and where did you go?”

“everywhere. we’d stack empty boxes pretending it was the eiffel tower, or run around in the park pretending we were in some rainforest, and once when it snowed a lot, we pretended we were in the north pole. i think that was when i first realised how much i loved travelling. 

“the urge went away for her after some time, but it never did for me. she still comes with me occasionally to a new place, and sometimes i can’t believe we actually got to live out our childhood fantasies.”

ryujin stares ahead, a nostalgic smile on her face, and she’s so beautiful an uncontrollable wave of fondness washes over her, her heart overflowing with the feeling of wanting to immortalise this moment, to wrap her up and keep them there forever. 

“jinnie,” she breathes. 

ryujin hums as she turns to her, and all she can think about is the way the setting sun makes her shine, her eyes sparkle and the curve of that gentle smile that seemed reserved for only her. 

to hell with it all. the fire flickers, flares, sparks flying.

yeji leans in, presses their lips together, and pretends for one perfect moment that what she had been thinking about was always reality, and the rest of the world is nothing but ashes burned by the fires within them. 

it sets in on her moments later, and reality yanks her back from the curtains of her mind. she falls with the thuds of her heart, struggling to think with the rising panic within her. 

the fear must show in her eyes, because ryujin cups her face, forcing her to hold her gaze. 

“yeji-yah,”

“hmm?” yeji lets out over the thunderous beats of her heart, the world fading into nothing, nothing but the warmth of her palm, the molten fire in her eyes. 

and then ryujin kisses her again, and it’s like the last piece of her puzzle falls back into place. she wraps her arms around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer, and feels the curve of a smile against her lips.

(when they pull back, they’re both flushed and breathing heavily. she looks at her, awe and amazement written on her face, and a faraway look in her eyes. she looks so cute that she can’t help but laugh, caressing her cheek fondly.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

nothing much changes. 

yeji still brings ryujin to new places. ryujin still likes to do things that throw her off, enjoying making a sport out of making her blush.

and yet, something has shifted.

instead of trying (and failing) to hide her amusement and letting yeji wallow in her own embarrassment, ryujin won’t stifle her laughter, dodging her slap. sometimes, when they enter a new place, ryujin will hold her hand, and they will spin each other around in a fit of giggles, not caring if anyone stares at them. 

and perhaps her favourite of all, when they go back to the beach every few nights because ryujin likes to, she will casually place kisses on yeji’s cheeks, grinning when she spots the blush. the younger had quickly figured out that nothing could make her flush more than that, and did it more than necessary. 

yeji is catching up, as well. she’d picked up a few tactics along the way, such as the fact that ryujin is ticklish, and gets shy when complimented or bombarded with affection. she uses it to her advantage, whipping the weapons out when she feels her face is just a bit too hot, and ryujin squeals when she reaches for her, shooting her a mock glare.

(she also notices that the younger softens infinitely when she pouts at her, and it sparks a fondness in her, especially since ryujin doesn’t seem to realise it herself.

she tries not to misuse it too much.)

of course, reality. 

none of them address it, the fact that ryujin won’t stay. they’re content just to let it run its course, think only about what’s right in front of them, call it a “summer thing” in their own minds.

perhaps that’s all it is, an unmarked relationship due to expire in months. 

the thought of it twists something in yeji’s heart, and she forces it out of her mind.

“let me take you somewhere today,” ryujin tells her one night as she comes down from her apartment. it rains above them, and yeji slips under the younger’s umbrella as they start to walk. 

“what, like a date?”

“you’ve been taking me on dates all this time, haven’t you?” ryujin smirks, guiding her to a turning. it annoys her to no end that she has no response to that. “let me return the favour.”

“you win,” she mumbles, flushing. “where are we going?”

“you’ll see,” is all ryujin says. knowing she won’t be able to get anything more from her, yeji puts her hand above ryujin’s as they walk together, bumping shoulders occasionally. 

“here?” yeji questions as they arrive at a small cafè tucked in the corner of a park. 

“i found it a while ago while exploring the area.” ryujin tells her. “is that okay?” she adds, looking uncharacteristically shy. 

yeji smiles at how cute she’s being. “of course. nothing better than a hot drink on a rainy night?” 

ryujin grins at her, whiskers showing. “i was thinking we could do some reading as well,” she says, and yeji can feel her face light up because there’s no way shin ryujin just suggested they sit at a coffee shop so yeji can do the thing she loves most. 

“okay,” she says, and bounces into the shop. 

(she hides a smaller, more tender smile behind her palm, closing the umbrella and walking in after her.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ 

“tell me about it,” ryujin requests as their food arrives. 

“about what?” 

“tell me about your books.”

“they aren’t mine, ryujin.”

“when a writer puts a book out, it’s no longer only theirs, so it’s yours too.” 

“cliché, jinnie, but you got me. what do you want to know?”

“everything, really.” ryujin shrugs, cuts into the slice of cake they share. “what you like about them. what makes you flutter with joy inside and your heart tumble into the hands of the author as you read. or what you remember the most about your favourite book”

yeji’s mind short circuits, her heart the only thing she can hear, beating erratic yet sure and completely steady. unknowingly, the silence stretches on, and she stares at the younger. 

“shin ryujin,” she breathes when she regains her ability to form words. a warmth that she’s starting to associate with shin ryujin and her damn moments spreads across her chest, and she feels like she might burst. “you are an enigma.”

ryujin merely looks at her quizzically, chuckling in what looks like relief. “isn’t everyone?” 

yeji kisses her cheek. “not everyone is like you,” is what she says, and if she squints, she can see the faint dust of the younger’s blush as she passes her a fork. 

“tell me,” ryujin asks again, and who is yeji to deny her request?

she tells her about the characters and the settings, how she wished she could live a life in a thriller, how she picks out the details, bits no one would notice to put in what she writes in return. 

(she merely watches her, fascinated with the way her eyes curve into crescents, glow with enthusiasm, and her dimples get the deepest she has ever seen them. it fills a void in her, warm and comforting, and she can feel the smile on her own face as she looks at her fire consuming her.)

“and you?” ryujin interrupts her mid-spiel.

“me?”

“what would you title this moment, if you were given a chapter to describe it?”

yeji pauses, looks at ryujin’s face carefully. the younger’s eyes are fixed on her, like a cat staring at its human. she spots the sparkle of genuine interest, masking but failing to cover the affection behind it. the look is somehow heavy, if it can be; weighed down with the unsaid words between them, the bypassed sentiments. 

she thinks whoever will be at the receiving end of it must be so lucky to have this wonderful person by their side. 

“i think,”

ryujin looks at her expectantly. 

“unexpected fate.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“tag, you’re it!” yeji pokes her, running off, and hears ryujin squeak in surprise before she’s running after her. 

they keep at it for a while, the wind whipping at her face, running though her hair, and they run around a few times, laughing at each other. ryujin pushes her once, and they change direction abruptly before yeji takes advantage of ryujin’s next bout of laughter and tags her again. the younger’s finger brushes her shirt moments later, and ryujin’s yelling something at her. 

“it doesn’t count!” she shouts back across the distance. “you have to tag me properly!”

it only takes a few seconds before arms wind around her and she squeals. they end up in the sand, ryujin’s arms wrapped tightly around yeji’s waist. giggling, they roll over a few times, before yeji comes face to face with shin ryujin, gazing at her with the brightest smile on her face and whiskers in full display. sand all over her hair, eyes bright, yeji finds herself drowning out the rest of the world, nothing but ryujin and only ryujin left. 

ryujin, it seems, is also thinking of a similar thing. 

“yeji?” she murmurs, and something in her voice sends a shiver down her spine, because she’s still not used to being called that. 

“hmm?” yeji responds, eyes transfixed on the younger’s lips, wisps of heat coming from her breathing. 

ryujin leans downwards, pressing their lips together, and yeji sighs into the kiss, arms moving to pull her closer. the younger’s weight is strangely comforting on her, and the sand is cool against her back. 

“sorry,” ryujin grins after they part, shy. “couldn’t help it.”

“why are you sorry?” yeji asks incredulously, laughing as she brushes away some of the sand in the younger’s hair. 

ryujin merely smiles, rolling off of her, and yeji melts into her as she hugs her from the side and settles her head on her chest. 

“can we stay like this for a while?”

“anything for you, jinnie.” she says, dangerously close to the truth, much too honest.

ryujin’s arms tighten, and yeji puts her arm around her as they stare up at the sky, enjoying each other’s comfort. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

that night, as ryujin lies next to her, so close yet so far, yeji dares a request. 

“jinnie?”

“hmm?”

“can you hold me?”

ryujin climbs up, eyes shining with mirth. 

“i was wondering when you’d ask.” she murmurs, throwing an arm around her. yeji sighs contentedly, shifts into her, places an arm over hers.

“i didn’t know whether it was okay,” she admits, and ryujin chuckles into her shoulder. 

“what?” yeji whines. 

“nothing. i just thought that you’d know by now that-“ she cuts herself off abruptly, and yeji turns to look at her. 

“go on,” 

“i-“ ryujin’s eyebrows furrow as she buries her face in her shirt. 

“jinnie, you can say it, i promise.” yeji says, running a hand up her arm. 

“i like it when you’re close to me. a lot.” the younger mutters. “i thought you knew.” 

yeji smiles. “i’ll be sure to keep closer to you, then.” 

“yeah?” ryujin smiles something shy, and yeji pokes her cheek. 

“of course. if you like it, i’ll be happy to do it.”

ryujin flushes, buries her face deeper into her neck, and yeji squirms. 

“j-jinnie, not there,” 

“what, are you ticklish?” ryujin does it again, and her breath hits the spot on her neck again.

“stop,” yeji shrinks away, laughing. “way to kill the moment.”

“for the record,” ryujin stops there, and yeji nods encouragingly before she continues. “i like it when you stick to me.”

“ditto, jinnie.” yeji pulls her closer, closes her eyes, and takes comfort in the warmth only ryujin seems to provide. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

ryujin has been looking at her a lot recently, yeji notices. 

sometimes unreadable, a gaze that would leave her for something else as soon as she looks at her. sometimes sharp, like a hawk, and yeji feels it at the back of her head. but most confusingly, sometimes fond, filled with something yeji can’t name, that she had never seen before. 

a possibility nags at the back of her mind; she never wants to think about it, but the fact that the weather slowly gets colder means their time is almost up. and eventually, all good things have to come to an end. 

it happens one night, when they’re stargazing. it’s cold enough to wear sweaters, and she watches as she gazes into the distance, clad in her favourite sweater. she would always be beautiful to her, with that sharp jawline, those defined cheekbones, the sparkle in her eyes. 

and then, she’s looking at her, mouthing words she doesn’t catch. 

“hmm?” she replies absentmindedly. 

“i have something i need to tell you.” there’s a hint of regret in her voice, an unmistakable shake. 

and she knows. she knows it’s time. 

“when?”

“next week.”

her heart drops. “how long have you known?” 

ryujin looks at her. “much too long to be forgiven.”

“who says i was mad at you?”

“are you?”

yeji shakes her head. ryujin nods slowly. for the first time, the silence between them is filled with tension, bleeding into the air slowly.

“why didn’t you tell me?” yeji says softly, holds ryujin’s hand. the younger seems to relax, the tension draining from her expression slightly.

“i didn’t want you to have to think about it or spend time counting down.”

“and so you let yourself carry that thought alone?”

ryujin shrugs, looking up at the sky. “i’m used to it.”

(she isn’t; she’s used to counting down the days before she explores a new world, not the days before she inevitably leaves a place, much less a person she’s attached to.)

yeji squeezes her hand anyway. “where are you going?”

“somewhere in europe. i think. maybe paris.”

“will i ever see you again?” she leans her head on her shoulder. 

“perhaps, if our stars align.” the younger smiles faintly at the stars.

“i wish you could stay.”

“i do too.” a hand comes to rest on her shoulder. “but this is who i am. i can’t change it, and you can’t either. it’s something i promised myself, and i don’t ever want to have to think of you as anything less than what you are to me.”

“what am i to you?”

she smiles at her. 

“you’re someone who deserves everything perfect in the world, who should never have to worry about anything. you deserve better than me, because i act on whims and make irrational decisions and never settle anywhere i go. and because that is something i can never give you, i will willingly let you go so you can find someone who can.”

she understands it then. shin ryujin is a wild spirit, an unstoppable force. it’s one of the things she loved most about her, and she’d be damned if she’s the one who tried to tame it. 

“stay over tonight?” she says, instead of conveying the storm in her mind.

ryujin looks at her like she understands, and nods silently, squeezing her shoulder.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

yeji wakes up on the wrong side of her bed, confused and disoriented and ryujin-less. pulling herself out of bed, she shuffles out to find the younger seated on her couch, hugging her knees to her chest.

“what are you doing?”

“just…thinking. what are you doing awake at this hour?”

“the room is freezing without you. we shouldn’t have turned the aircon so high.”

“yah, the point is to be under the blanket so it’s warm.”

“you’re one to talk.” yeji grabs her hand, wrapping both palms around it. “freezing, as always.” she mutters. “what are you going to do without me, hmm?”

she realises her mistake much too late. the room freezes, so cold it burns.

for the first time since she’s known her, the younger looks lost, an unsettled look in her eyes. she recovers soon enough, but yeji doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the way she stiffened, the uneasiness in her expression.

“freeze to death, i suppose.” ryujin smiles lightly, making yeji shake her head.

“wait here,” she walks back into the room and goes back out with their blanket, tucking it around ryujin before settling next to her. 

“you’re a heater,” ryujin grumbles, even though she wraps an arm around her.

“and you’re a block of ice, jinnie. shush and think if that’s what you wanted to do.”

she hears ryujin huff out a small laugh as she settles on her shoulder, and closes her eyes to the calm rise and fall of her chest.

(she looks at the sleeping figure next to her, and her heart aches for what they could have become.

“i’m sorry i have to go,” she murmurs.

she mumbles something incorrigible before burrowing deeper into her, and she can’t help but smile fondly, running her fingers through her hair.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

they try to make the most of it. yeji takes ryujin to a carnival; the younger easily beats her at everything, kissing the pout off her face when she grumbles about how the games are rigged. they go back to the beach; sunsets and late nights and comfortable silences, talks that make her uncover bits of herself. ryujin finds one of those photo spots, and they spend hours moving across the scenery, taking pictures of each other.

and when all that bleeds into the last day, ryujin stays over again, as has become their normalcy.

ryujin settles next to her, and yeji automatically curls into her. the younger lets out a low chuckle, wraps her arms around her, buries her nose in her hair. 

“it’s your last night.” yeji murmurs, nestling closer. 

“i’m sorry, unnie.”

“don’t ever be sorry for choosing yourself. just hold me for a bit more?”

“what about however long you want me to?

“don’t make promises you can’t keep, jinnie.” yeji mutters. “just hold me for the entire night.” and then, when the time comes, i’ll let you go.  

“gladly.” ryujin holds her tighter as if to keep her from drifting away, and she sighs contentedly, letting her eyes drift closed.

just as she falls into a state between consciousness and sleep, she hears a whisper.

“yeji-yah,” it’s so quiet yeji isn’t sure if she’s hallucinating.

she doesn’t respond, giving into the pull of slumber. 

“i love you,” ryujin whispers. 

any ounce of sleep leaves her, and she forgets how to breathe for a second. the fire burns behind her eyes, and she tunnels into her own mind, forcing herself to breathe slowly, regularly. 

“you’ll never know this, but i really do.” ryujin traces a finger down the bridge of her nose, the curve of her lip, down her jawline. her finger is cold; yet she leaves flames in her wake, burning a trail of goosebumps into her, making the skin tingle long after her touch has gone. 

“when i came to jeonju, it was meant to be just a short break. i knew what i was going to do after i left; i was going to go my merry way, continue doing what i liked. but now, i don’t know if i know anymore. 

“you’re an unstoppable force, you. you disarmed every defense i didn’t know i had, and i don’t even know how it happened. you always say whatever you’re feeling or thinking, but yet you really listen. i’ve never been that open with my thoughts, but with you, it’s… simpler. it’s like you give off this air that tells me it’s okay to tell you things. 

“i’ve never let anyone else get this close before, no matter where i go, cause it was always like, when will i have to go again? it was better for me not to have any strings attached. but with you, it was never really a matter of letting you in. it’s more like you opened the door and walked in yourself, and i… don’t know if i can ever shut it again, even though i have to.

“and it kills me because i know i’m selfish like that, even though i wish i could drop everything and stay here with you. i know that the fire in me will never go away, and if it gets too wild, i tend to become irrational. i don’t- i don’t ever want to push that onto you or blame you for it, cause you mean too much to me for me to hurt you in any way. 

“curse my useless mind, but i’ve been over this way too many times and this is the only way i can think of. i’m sorry, yeji-yah. i hope in any of the other universes out there, i didn’t have to go, and we at least gave us a try. maybe that way, we would be able to see the fireworks together.”

there’s another pause before the sheets rustle, and yeji feels someone hovering above her. 

“i’ll miss you,” a pair of lips land on her forehead. even softer, “more than life itself.”

silence, as she feels ryujin lie back down next to her. tears burn behind her eyes, and she contemplates opening them, to tell her that she loves her back, that she doesn’t have to be sorry, that she’s sorry too that they would end this way.

she stops herself, knows that if she tells her, ryujin may not be able to follow through with her decision. 

yeji would die before she ever holds her back from what she loves most. 

(and maybe, just maybe, somewhere far back in her mind, a voice is screaming at her that maybe she’s not ready yet and it can wait until she’s thought this through.)

so even as a lump forms in her throat, pushing the words to the tip of her tongue, she holds them back.

let this be enough, for now. 

as yeji drifts off to sleep, warm in ryujin’s arms, the spot on her forehead burns with her mark. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

yeji wakes up in an empty bed. 

she doesn’t know it at first, rolling over and opening her eyes blearily. the fire flickers in her, an untimely warning, but she ignores it, sleep-ridden and cold. 

“jinnie? where are you?” she calls, a pout on her face at the thought of not waking up next to ryujin. 

a beat of silence, and she dozes off again without realising it, jolting awake a few moments later. it burns brighter now, uncomfortably hot. 

“ryujin-ah,” she says again, sitting up amidst the mess of blankets. 

her voice echoes in her room, and as fast as she sleep fades away, her heart drops. her eyes go to the bedside table, because the younger’s phone is always there in the mornings whether she’s in the room or not, and her heart sinks further realising it’s not there, replaced by a folded piece of paper with her name on it. 

hands shaking, she picks it up, unfolding it. the flames roar, a searing heat in the back of her mind, and she tamps it down, scanning the words. 

already, i miss you more than life. 

thank you for everything, yeji;

if our stars align, may we meet again. 

-jinnie

she picks her phone up and dials jisu, fingers shaking so badly she nearly clicks on ryujin’s contact instead. there is nothing but burning behind her eyes, in her chest, but her hands are freezing cold. 

jisu picks up on the second ring. “yeji?”

“she’s gone,” she says, staring blankly at the note. 

the flames consume her. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

when jisu arrives, she finds yeji sitting in bed, paper in her hand, a thin trail of tears running down her face. 

“yeji,” she says gently, sitting down next to her. the older sees right through her, unblinking. 

“yeji-yah,” jisu tries again, placing a hand on hers. yeji flinches, but otherwise doesn’t respond, another tear falling from her eye. 

“ unnie ,” she places both hands on her shoulders and shakes her, startling her out of her stupor and what the younger presumes is her overthinking. 

“jisu?” yeji murmurs, finally looking at her, and jisu’s heart cracks as she sees the glisten. 

“yeah,” is all she can manage before yeji breaks again, and the younger wraps her arms around her, blinking back a few tears of her own. 

“she left,” yeji sobs quietly into her shirt. “she left without saying goodbye.”

“it’s okay,” jisu tells her, because there’s nothing else to say. “she loves you.”

“i love her too,” yeji whispers, as if she never knew, and jisu feels more wetness seep into her shirt. 

“i know.”

“i didn’t,” yeji looks up at her, and when jisu feels like she’s drowning from the guilt in them, she wonders how yeji is still swimming.

she holds her a little bit longer. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

eventually, jisu pulls her out of bed, orders takeout and settles her on the couch with a blanket on her lap and a movie playing softly in the background. 

“i knew she couldn’t bear to say goodbye to you in person.” jisu says softly, passing her a container. 

the sparks flare again, and yeji snaps her head up to look at her. “what?”

jisu pats her on the head lightly. “don’t you see it, yej? she looks at you like she would die for you in secret, like she doesn’t want anyone but herself to know the things she would do for you. if you saw her off at the airport, i don’t think she would have left.”

“but she still did.”

“and it tore her apart, too. it’s not easy, choosing yourself when there’s someone who means as much to you as yourself, and i have the greatest respect for her for that.”

“i can’t even be mad at her,” yeji shakes her head sadly. “she talks about travelling like it’s her life. i could never take that away from her.”

“who says you would?” jisu counters, a gentle look in her eyes. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

“i think you should see this,” jisu says, sitting down next to her. she places a few crumpled pieces of paper on the table, smoothing them out. 

she gets it immediately, piecing them together. a letter takes shape, and though words are crossed out and smudged, she can still make out the handwriting, and it matches the small note, already engraved in her mind. 

to my yeji unnie. 

i’m sorry. i knew i couldn’t face you today, not when i know i might not be seeing you again. i don’t want you to have to watch my back as i walk away. and i don’t think i could ever turn my back and leave you standing there alone.

these few months have been the best times of my life. i’ve been to many cities, different continents, but i don’t think any of them have made me feel as safe as i did when i was with you. i didn’t expect flirting with a pretty girl at a café to turn into having a girlfriend someone i would gladly spend all my time with, but you know, life takes us to places we don’t expect. 

i thought it might be enough, that i had you and i was happy. my fire is still burning bright, unnie. it needs more to tame it, and i know what to do with it. i could never ask you to come with me, even though i would love nothing more because you have a life here. you have a job and house and amazing friends and your places. so i’m doing what i have to, to keep us both happy. please don’t hate me for this i’m sorry all i could do was let it end this way. 

you have a fire too, unnie. it’s burning brighter than ever before, even if you can’t see it. write your own story, just as you like it, with you as the main character. i’ll be rooting for you silently, from wherever i find myself in the future. and maybe, if we ever meet again, you can tell it to me someday.  

thank you for everything, unnie. i’ll miss you i hope happiness always finds you, wherever you go. 

jinnie ryujin

the tears come again before she can realise it, and she sniffs only once before arms wrap around her. her mind goes to ryujin before she chastises herself, forcibly changing the thought to jisu . 

“it’s not what she wanted to say,” yeji sobs. jisu doesn’t respond, so she continues her monologue, everything spilling out of her. “she told me last night, everything she wanted to say. she told me she loves me, jisu. and i- i didn’t say it back.” 

jisu says nothing, holding her. yeji picks her head up, looks at her with teary eyes, and breaks jisu’s heart. 

“we could have been something, couldn’t we?”

jisu sighs, pats her head. 

“you could have.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

yeji tries. she drags herself out of bed and goes to a café and reads and types, only now there’s ryujin in her head whenever she opens a book, when she goes to a library, when she walks into that same café. the fire burns a flicker brighter each time, inching closer and closer, and she tries to ignore it, pushing the thoughts out of her mind and focusing on the tasks in front of her. 

one step at a time. 

(they could have been something, couldn’t they?)

jisu tries to help. she drops by often and drags her out and keeps an unending supply of snacks in her cupboards. it’s an attempt at getting her back to normalcy, albeit a feeble one. 

but even as her world continues moving, it’s a whisper in the back of her mind that nothing is the same, that the fire is going to burn her, that everything is only barely holding her together. 

(they really could have been something.)

she keeps it up for a grand total of two weeks before it all comes crashing down, scattered flames and dancing ashes.

jisu is next to her when it happens. she’s looking for something to wear because she’s here to take her out somewhere again, “for a change in scenery”, she says. 

“this one?” she shows her a shirt. 

“too basic.”

“what about this?”

“too loud.”

“come on, jisu.” she grumbles. 

“it’s not my fault you have nothing good to wear.”

she lifts up another shirt, sees something, stops, and stares.

it’s her favourite shirt. the one with the cat on it she was wearing when they first met, the one she complimented. her heart trips over itself. the scale tips, and she takes in a breath, holds it up in front of her. the cat stares at her, smiling, and she feels her heart break just a little bit more at the memory.

it aches, burning and bleeding and empty at the same time. every breath she takes is herculean, like there’s smoke in the air. 

“fuck, i can’t do this anymore.” she breathes, hands tangled in her hair. (when had she sat down?)

“took you long enough to realise,” jisu places a gentle hand on her back. 

“you knew?” she whips her head around to stare at jisu. 

“anyone with eyes can see that you’re nowhere near okay,” jisu says. “you can’t keep lying to yourself like this.”

“i’m scared,” yeji whispers. “i don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“she’ll be there with you, won’t she? you’ll never know if you never try. and well, you can always come back, can’t you?”

“and you?”

“i love it when you’re here, and it’ll be hard, but i don’t like it when you’re like this. be selfish for once, love.”

yeji racks her brain for another thing to say. jisu seems to notice, deciding to take the opportunity and drive the point home.

“don’t you think you two could have been something?”

tears prick at the corners of her eyes at that thought that had been haunting her for the past weeks. yeji inhales, nodding, letting the adrenaline wash over her. she makes a split second decision as jisu taps something on her phone.

“do you think chaeryeong will help?”

“one step ahead of you, love.” jisu waves her phone in the air. “there’s a flight over six hours from now. you think you can make it?”

she doesn’t know when jisu had even met chaeryeong, but nods anyway, wiping away her tears.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

she lands in paris just as the sun is beginning to set, and knows without a doubt that ryujin is at a beach somewhere. chaeryeong has sent her the area she’s in, a quick google search tells her there’s a beach nearby, and so she drops her bags, sets off in a taxi, prays that the gods are smiling at her. the car stops her at the entrance, and she walks deep into the place, the waves calming and rushing her all at once.

near the opposite end, she spots someone in the distance, and that silhouette she spent hours trying to engrave in her mind brings tears to her eyes. 

“ryujin!”

the younger girl turns, looks away, then her head snaps back to her, eyes wide. 

“unnie?” she blinks, steps back, as if expecting her to disappear. 

“hi,” she smiles. a foreign expression falls on ryujin’s face, confused and guarded and cautiously happy. she looks like she’s restraining herself from reacting, putting space between them, and the thought of being strangers again hurts so much the words tumble out before she can stop them. 

“i think i love you, too.”

she hears the way ryujin inhales sharply even as she tries to hide her surprise, and notices the way her hands tremble as she puts them in her pockets. 

“i heard everything you said to me when you thought i was asleep,” she continues, taking a step closer. “and i lied to myself and said that it could wait until the morning, that i wasn’t ready yet at that moment.” tears sting in her eyes at the thought, and she inhales. 

“i have never regretted anything more.”

ryujin stares at her.

“i let you lie there all night, and even though i didn’t know you would go so early, i let you leave my side thinking your feelings were unreciprocated. and i’m sorry for that. i’m sorry that i ever made you doubt that i don’t feel the same way, because it’s all i can think about.”

“point is, jinnie, i do love you. i love the way you act like you’re so cool even though i know you’re just a teddy bear. 

“i love the little things you do for people not thinking they’d notice. you listen when i ramble on about my books, but you also tell me about your adventures just ‘cause i want to hear about them. you notice the small things, think them though, and somehow, every detail is never insignificant with you.

“i love those rare yet special moments where you let your guard down, ‘cause it gives me an urge to protect you. and i love the way you seem to glow when you’re talking about something you love, and the light in your eyes ignites something in me.”

“you said i have a fire too. and i do. but what you don’t know is that it burns brighter when you’re not around. i may not know what it is now, but it burns. it burns when you’re gone, and there’s nothing else that can calm it.”

ryujin stands, frozen, unsure how to react. but that’s okay, because yeji knows. she closes the distance between them, placing a hand on her cheek. 

“and i can’t believe it took you leaving for me to realise that i couldn’t go on with the life i lived without you, that i simply couldn’t act like i wanted to stay in jeonju my whole life, that i couldn’t live with what could have been without trying to see for myself. i would follow you to the ends of the earth, ryujin-ah. and i’d love to, if you’d let me.”

she merely stares at her, eyes wide and unresponsive. the lump falls back into her throat, and she panics.

“shit, was that too much? i’m sorry, i didn’t- i-“

she’s stopped by a finger on her lips, red-rimmed eyes looking at her, and she watches as she takes a few deep breaths, presumably to keep herself together. 

“i could never ask you to give up what you have right now. you know that right?” ryujin finally speaks, voice brittle and shaky. 

“you don’t have to, i’d do it anyway. not only for you, but for myself too. i couldn’t- i couldn’t anymore. you were right. there’s always been a fire, and it’s growing because of you.”

“still,” ryujin insists. “my life is unpredictable in every way, unnie. you never know what could happen next.”

“i know,” she smiles.

“it’s okay if we don’t have a home anywhere i go, and not every night is spent somewhere comfortable?”

“as long as you’re with me.”

“would it be enough, if i could never give you peace?”

“silly girl,” she says, beaming at her. “don’t you know that you are my peace?”

something fractures in her eyes then, the tears falling, and she thinks that even though she loves what she does, enjoys every single second of it, it must be lonely to have no one to laugh with, share all her moments with, or to stand next to.

and as she wipes away her tears, holds her tight, hwang yeji decides that she would be damned if she ever let her feel that way again.

“i love you,” ryujin breathes, voice shaky. “i love you so fucking much i didn’t know what to do with myself.”

“i know,” yeji whispers into her hair, kisses her forehead. “i’m not going anywhere unless it’s with you. i love you.”

relief falls like a weight, flooring her as she watches the woman in her arms, feels the dampness of her shirt. her heart aches for past ryujin, swells with a promise, and she doesn’t know she’s sniffling until ryujin picks her head up from her chest, face strewn with tears but still so, so beautiful. 

“you’re crying.” the younger whispers, a new tenderness fitting across her eyes. 

yeji laughs, despite herself. 

“i am.”

“you’re so beautiful,” ryujin leans up, kisses her nose.

when their gazes meet again, yeji notices the fresh tears welled in her eyes. 

“we’re not stopping anytime soon, are we?” she says gently, a joking smile on her lips. 

“it’s ’cause of you,” ryujin tells her softly. “i can’t help it.”

and indescribable warmth settles in yeji’s chest, grounding her, pulling her impossibly closer.

“it must have been hard, doing everything alone all this time.” 

“you can’t- don’t say things like that, unnie.” ryujin scowls at her half-heartedly, more tears falling even as yeji watches the small smile on her lips. 

“i promise,” she continues, even as her own voice shakes. “you’ll never have to do it again.”

ryujin gives up on stifling her tears, deflating against her. “never again,” she echoes, as if in disbelief. 

“sorry,” yeji smiles, wipes the tears on her cheeks, even if she’s not. 

“don’t be,” comes ryujin’s voice, muffled into her shirt. “thank you.”

“for what, jinnie?” yeji laughs. 

“for being you.”

it’s yeji’s turn to laugh shakily, tears at the corner of her eyes. it settles on her like a blanket, that this is a side of ryujin she’s never seen as intensely before, that this is probably the way the younger is letting her know that she has let her in completely. 

this ryujin is the most her, overflowing with comfort and reassurance. this ryujin shows affection unabashedly, without any inhibition or embarrassment. and at the crux of it all, this ryujin has love pouring out of her, and from the way she looks at her, yeji knows that this ryujin would have given all her passion up, if only she asked.

(she would never ask.)

“don’t say that, jinnie. we’ll never stop.” she murmurs, because she knows her voice will give her away. 

“you’re welcome.”

before she can say anything more, ryujin’s lips are on hers, their tears mingling, fires merging into one. yeji feels her own tears flow, and when she cups ryujin’s cheek, she can feel the wetness there too. 

they part a while later, much too early, much too soon. ryujin lets out a small protest; yeji kisses her cheek to placate her, tastes salt, and dabs at her own eyes. 

“a pair of waterworks, that’s what we are.”

ryujin snorts, looks at her with such fondness in her eyes that she wants to melt, and yeji caresses her cheek, wiping away a tear. 

“i love you, you know?” ryujin says again, a smile dancing on her lips. 

“i know, jinnie. i love you too.”

she looks at her, gaze open and sparkling, and she doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything so beautiful. 

“so,” she asks. “where to?”