Chapter Text
“Do I look like a monster to you?”
If he was asked this question earlier today, by this man in particular, Lee would have responded with an immediate yes. Ever since he had discovered that someone was talking to Clementine over her walkie-talkie for who knows how long, under false promises they would reunite her with her parents soon Lee was quick to label them a possible threat. A part of him had hoped that the stranger was being genuine, that they really knew where Clementine’s parents were, that she would finally see them again, something that Lee had given up when he first heard those messages at Clementine’s home. The stranger warning the group of the Walkers when they had first arrived in Savannah gave this small bit of optimism some credence but Lee knew he would still approach them with doubt.
Any chance of Lee approaching the stranger with any benefit of the doubt evaporated after Clementine was kidnapped.
Then Ben, the poor kid, had gotten impaled. Even as he and Kenny tried to help, they knew it was a lost cause as Ben’s screams had alerted the walkers to their presence. To Lee’s surprise, Kenny had stayed behind to not only put Ben out of misery but to also prevent the kid’s worst fear from happening: being eaten alive by walkers. Despite Kenny’s hatred of Ben since he learned the kid had indirectly gotten his family killed, he still risked his life to put him out of his misery and unfortunately Lee didn’t think he had survived.
Kenny didn’t deserve to die by walkers, Ben didn’t deserve to fall and be impaled, and Clementine didn’t deserve to be kidnapped. The only one who deserved any suffering was the monster through the walkie-talkie.
But now? Even with a gun aimed at him Lee didn’t see a monster, he just saw a broken man who had lost everything. His wife and daughter were dead because a group of people stole their supplies, Lee’s group. They were tired from the events that transpired at the St. John Farm when they discovered the van full of supplies and even if some protested on account of the possibility that it wasn’t abandoned, their morals dropped when they noticed just how much was in the van ranging from food to supplies. That brief moment of selfishness had ruined a man’s life.
“No.’ Lee answered the man’s question. He couldn’t in good faith call him a monster knowing what he does now, that his group caused the death of his family.
He was wrong as always.
The conversation between the two continued with the man hounding Lee over his many decisions ever since the world as they once knew ended:
“You walked a little girl into a diary full of sick people and let them get their hands on her.” It was more complicated than that, his group was running low on food and the St. Johns seemed like good people offering them food and protection. He had no way of knowing the family were planning to feed them human meat.
“You abandoned a grieving, defenseless woman on the side of the road.” He himself was still conflicted on if leaving Lilly was the right decision- she was struggling under the pressure of the role of leader as well as grieving her father but in the heat of the moment, his rising anger after seeing her shoot one of their own so callously, he thought Lilly deserved it after what she did to Carly.
“You brought her to the most dangerous place in the city where she could have died!” Lee had thought that bringing Clementine to Crawford instead of leaving her with Omid was the better option in case the man came to the manor due to Omid’s injuries but now, he was wondering if he let her stay behind. She had done incredible at Crawford, somehow the little girl was more level headed than some of the adults but that was the thing-Clementine was still a kid.
“That sweatshirt she’s wearing was my boy’s! You stole that from us!” He... he didn’t have a justification. Lee fucked up, he should have stopped the group from taking the supplies or at least not go along with it but he didn’t, c and he has to live with the consequences of his actions.
The man then gave Lee a proposal: he will take Clementine off his hands and take care of her. His reasoning being that he was a father so he would know how to take care of a child better than Lee ever could. He firmly said no. Lee won’t ever stop taking care of that girl until the day he dies.
The man’s brows furrowed at his response, his blank stare shifting to one of minor annoyance. The man finally looked away from Lee and shifted his gaze to the floor, in between his feet was…a handbag? To his confusion, The man started talking to the handbag about how great Clementine would be around. As if Lee needed another excuse to not let him take his daughter his little girl.
As the man continued to have a one side conversation Lee noticed a door behind where the stranger was sitting began to slowly open. Upon being open, Clementine walked out and the second he saw her, a small weight lifted from his chest when he saw she wasn’t harmed. Clementine looked at Lee, her expression one of concern and silently begged for help. He looked away the small room they were in to find anything she could use to help when his eyes landed on the cleaver that he had taken from the manor located on a dresser to Clementine’s right, the man had forced him to put it there at gunpoint.
Clementine followed his gaze and took slow steady steps towards the dresser, making sure she wouldn’t be spotted. Lee couldn’t help but be proud, she was only nine years old and yet she was so smart. She was gonna do great in this new world, she won’t be helpless when he’s gone. By the time Clementine grabbed the cleaver and began to advance towards the threat, the man in question was still speaking to the bag, unaware of the looming threat behind him.
She wouldn’t hurt a fly-” He was interrupted by Clementine swinging the cleaver into his right shoulder, causing him to drop his gun which gave Lee his chance. Lunging at the man the two were sent to the ground with Lee putting his hands around his neck to choke him and finish this. The man gasped for air, his own hands on Lee’s to try to pry them on but Lee wouldn’t that happen after what he did. For getting his friends killed, for taking his daughter with the lie she would be with her parents, he was gonna be a dead man. The man’s attempts at breaking free were getting weaker, he could tell by the movement of his hands getting less erratic. Soon his breathing became heavier and then, with one final breath, he was dead. Lee reached out for the forgotten gun on the floor and aimed it at the man’s head. With a bang the floor was covered in the man’s brain matter.
The room was silent, the only sound being Lee’s breathing. He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose and repeated the motion a few more times until he became as calm as he could. It’s over. Clementine was safe: all he had to do now was get the both of them out of Savannah, head to the countryside, find Omid and Christa and decide what their next course of action should be-
“Lee.” A soft voice broke Lee out of his thoughts. He turned to see Clementine standing in front of him with a surprisingly blank expression. Lee’s face softened, his remaining fading into concern. This whole experience must have traumatized her but luckily Lee had something that should hopefully cheer up a little bit.
Reaching into his pockets, Lee took out the hat Clementine was given by her dad from before the outbreak. He remembered how overjoyed she was when he found it after it went missing back at the dairy. Extending his arm outwards Lee handed it to her. “Here you go, sweet pea.” He said, giving her what was hopefully a comforting smile.
To his shock and rising concern, Clementine barely reacted to seeing her hat. She slowly grabbed it and put it on her head, only saying a quiet thank you. He noticed that her eyes were beginning to tear up. What happened? What did that man do to her?
“Clementine?” Lee asked, his voice betraying his worry. “What’s wrong?” Clementine said nothing but she started to roll up her sleeve, her sobs becoming audible.
“No.”
Lee’s heart dropped as Clementine lifted her arm to him. On her wrist, he saw what happened. For the past three months he had one fear, a fear that made him lay in bed at night when he was supposed to be asleep. That one fear motivated him to keep going more than, even more than his own survival. It was a fear that became more likely after Duck died following the attack at the motor in but after teaching Clementine how to use a gun he had hoped it wouldn’t happen.
“No no no no.”
On Clementine’s wrist was a bite mark, human sized bite marks.
“NONONONONO”
Clementine was bit, she was gonna turn.
He had nearly gotten bit today, a walker had surprised him when he noticed Clementine was missing. If Kenny was’t with him and managed to tackle the walker before it could grab his arm, Lee would be among the dead. His brain succumbed to the infection, who he is would be nothing but a memory to those who knew him. His body deteriorating, muscles exposed as his skin would slowly peel away, being forced to walk the Earth long after his death. Lee considers it a fate worse than death.
He wished it was him going through that fate instead of Clementine. He was a murderer, his family’s name was ruined because of his actions but Clementine? She was the one bright spot in this world, her optimism and faith for everyone was honestly inspirational. Back at Crawford, when Ben was considered to be left behind after one too many mistakes, Clementine didn’t hesitate to defend him. Even he was on the fence about what to do with the kid.
Clementine knew that he shouldn’t be left behind. She was better than him.
So why was she the one given this terrible slow death.
Lee tore his gaze away from Clementine’s wrist and into her eyes, they were red. “How…” His mouth was suddenly dry, the question was difficult to think let alone say it outloud.
Clementine didn’t say anything, all she did was point towards the forgotten handbag lying in front of the chair the stranger was sitting in. Lee walked towards the bag and when he got closed enough, he glanced down and saw-
“Oh my god.”
To his horror: inside of the bag was a walker head. Moreover, it was still “alive” . Lee remembered what the man said about what happened to his wife and daughter, he had found both dead and the man’s comments about making Clementine a part of his family. Upon closer inspection he noticed there was blood surrounding the walker’s mouth…they seemed to be only a few hours old.
It didn’t take a genius to realize how Clementine had gotten bitten. All Lee could see was red. A fire was brewing inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to tore his hands into the bastard’s corpse and tear him apart. Throw him out to the walkers if he had to, it would be a fitting end: a monster eaten by monsters.
However, Lee knew he couldn’t let vengeance consume him no matter how much a part of him wants to indulge in it. He had something much more important to deal with.
He jumped when he felt a small hand grab his own, looking down to see Clementine holding his hand in a tight grip. She was looking up back at him, desperately trying to hold back her tears.
“I’m sorry.” She spoke in an almost inaudible whisper. Incredible, here she was with the mark of death on her and yet she felt she had to apologize to him.
He didn’t deserve her.
Lee turned his body in Clementine’s direction, making sure to still hold onto her hand, and kneeled to her height. He couldn’t help but stare at her wrist, the bite marks were taunting him. He didn’t know what to do next, making sure Clementine would be safe has been his main goal from the beginning. Everything he did was for her.
Whatever happens in the future was unknown to him but Lee knew there was something he could do in the present. He wrapped his arms around Clementine, his little girl, no, his daughter, and pulled her in.
“Never be sorry.” And that’s when Clementine couldn’t hold it in anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she allowed her tears to flow. Lee patted her back, his own eyes beginning to water.
“It should have been me.” Lee thought to himself. as his grip around tightened Clementine in his embrace, her small form shaking from her sobs. “It should have been me.”