Work Text:
All things considered, it shouldn't be so surprising. This was Danville, after all. Any given day, aliens could attempt to invade, robotic tree-houses could fight in the streets, mini-golf courses could fall from the sky, and evil pharmacists could attempt to take over. Surely, the dorky gay uncle of your best friend might as well turn out to be a super secret spy.
Stacy idly wondered whether she should be more surprised, but... Flynn-Fletchers were hardly a normal family.
Stacy also expected a more clandestine meeting to discuss the details of her being in the know, but Perry just waved her over while he was reading in the backyard, "overseeing" the gang. The kids were perusing some blueprints - some actual blueprints, some crayon drawn - and Candace was on a date with Jeremy.
Perry bookmarked his choice of reading (another Sherlock Holmes novel, not a surprise there), flipping open his notebook.
Stacy had a base knowledge of sign language, but she could hardly hold a conversation in it, least of something as important as this. It was mostly the kids or Candace who translated Perry's nuanced hand-talk to her.
It's safe to talk was already written on a page. The page next to it was filled with Perry's neat handwriting. Stacy read through it all, noting the My family must not know framed in threatening, bold lines.
"Aren't they in danger?"
Perry resolutely shook his head.
"Not even from that... assigned nemesis of yours?" Stacy used the term from the page of Perry's explanation. She supposed it was that mad doctor Perry wiped the floor with the day she found out his secret.
Heinz would never hurt them Perry wrote, a soft expression on his face.
Huh, Stacy thought. "Huh," she said.
First name basis? Check. That soft smile? Check. The mellowed eyes? Check, check, check. She let her instinct guide her. "Do tell me about him?"
And so Perry did.
By the end of that conversation, tedious as it was with Perry writing so quickly that some of the words flowing on the page turned haphazard and sloppy, Stacy was sure of several things:
A - She got herself into quite a situation.
B - She's the secret keeper. If she breathed the truth about Perry to another living soul, his agency would get hold of her and mercilessly erase her memory.
C - She's the secret keeper of not just one secret. It was quite apparent that Uncle Perry was smitten.
The lights were on in the kitchen.
Candace shouldn't care, she had more pressing things on her mind - she really, really needed to go to the bathroom, now. But the lights were still on when she was returning to her bedroom, and as sleepy as she was, she was also curious.
She peaked in, expecting Phineas and Ferb to be raiding the pantry for supplies for their expedition to the centre of the Earth, or another similar harebrained scheme.
Instead, she came face to face with Uncle Perry. He was in his sleeping clothes, bundled up in his fluffy dressing gown of almost neon orange colour and on the table in front of him was a whole tube of ice cream. He froze, spoon raised midway from the tube to his mouth. He grinned at her dorkily and made a gesture of offering the spoon to her.
Candace snorted, found herself a spoon of her own from the cutlery drawer and sat across him. She dug into the ice cream and stuffed her mouth full of mint-flavoured coldness made crunchy with chocolate chips. She allowed the spoonful to melt on her tongue, cherishing the comfortable silence between them.
Not for long though, she couldn't. "So, what did he do?"
Perry drew a circle in front of his mouth with his forefinger. Who?
She gave him the look. The same look her mum gives her when she ought to know what the conversation is about, so stop playing dumb, young lady. But she wasn't patient to hold it for long enough that the recipient would understand his transgression, so she took pity on him. "Look, Uncle Perry. It's, ummm, gosh, one seventeen in the morning and you're moping in the kitchen with a whole tube of ice cream. Whatever you're worried about either be work-related, but even you aren't such a workaholic, ooor..." she trailed off, meaningfully waggling her eyebrows.
Perry tilted his head in question.
"About the man you're crushing on, obviously."
Perry spluttered.
She pointed the spoon at him. "Heeere we go. Don't you deny it."
Perry groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He hooked both his forefingers in imitation of talons and crossed his hands in front of his torso.
"Complicated?" Candace scooped herself another spoon of ice cream. "Aren't all the relationships?"
Perry hummed. He tapped his fingers on the table, thinking through what to say. His hand then fluttered, barely giving Candace the time to translate the signs. I'm supposed to... he stuttered by tapping the table again. Not proper.
"Says who?"
Perry snorted. Propriety.
"Propriety could go f..."
Perry cleared his throat meaningfully.
"...fffigure skating in the summer," she finished without missing a beat.
He chuckled. Raising his hand in front of his heart, palms together, he slid the upper hand away, smoothly gliding his palms and grinning at Candace over the rim of his glasses.
"Yeah, nice one. I like it too. Look, do you remember when I started dating Jeremy and was freaking out that by taking it further I'll ruin what we already had? You told me..." She dug her spoon into the ice cream, twirling it. "You told me that I should do it nevertheless. That if he makes me happy it's worth fighting for?"
Perry hummed in acknowledgement.
"Does he make you happy?"
He hesitated, just for a moment. But then he smiled fondly, his eyes softening.
"Worth fighting for," she smiled back, scratching her arm. She stopped dead in her tracks, looking at her arm like it offended her. "Aaand you should probably hide the ice cream from me, I've just broken out the rash."
Perry hissed, belatedly realising that this particular brand was not dairy-free.
"Yeah, let's not tell Mum, go get my medicine."
She wasn't supposed to be there.
It shouldn't pose a problem, technically. This was her second home after all. But it was not Heinz' allotted time. He never minded though, thankful for every minute Vanessa deemed fit to spend with him. So she dropped by occasionally through the weeks her mum held the custody, staying for several minutes or picking a thing or two she didn't want to move from one place to another like a wandering ocelot.
Vanessa wasn't supposed to be there.
And, strictly speaking, neither was Perry.
Especially given his state of dress. Or rather, undress.
"Sssooo..." Vanessa drawled out, the grin that threatened to split her face slipping into her tone. "Are you wearing anything beneath that?"
Perry's face was quite literally clashing with his hair colour, accentuated by the white lab coat he somehow wrestled himself into. The cut of it was too narrow for his broad shoulders, the dark swirls of his tribal tattoo peeking through as he didn't quite manage to properly button it closed over his chest.
Not much he pointed a thumb of his closed right fist to his chin and jabbed it down, then spreading his fingers he swept his hand out of the way, grinning in that dorky way Vanessa by now associated with him doing something silly due to her father's insistence.
She giggled.
He guffawed and shooed her into the general direction of the kitchen, retreating back to the bedroom.
Vanessa could hear her dad puttering around the kitchen so she headed there. She might as well stay for breakfast, this situation of theirs would require some careful negotiation, no sense in delaying it.
Heinz, completely at ease, didn't even turn when she slipped in.
She cleared her throat.
"It's almost do-oh, God, sweetiepie!" Heinz startled, his expression battling between the radiant joy upon seeing her and pure mortification. He lunged for the apron, covering the scars that littered his torso.
Vanessa rarely saw him shirtless. She was sure that even Mum could count just on her fingers alone the number of instances she had seen Heinz shirtless. She knew, of course she knew, one could hardly have both arms prosthetic without an accompanying scarring, but frankly, her dad was so nimble with them, that she oftentimes simply forgot about it.
"Pancakes? I can finish those," she offered, not commenting on what transpired right now, giving him an out.
"Um..." he hesitated, wringing his hands indecisively. "Honey, um, Perry's..."
"Stayed the night, yeah, I know." She kissed him on the cheek, leaving a stark lipstick imprint behind. "Go and get dressed, I got this."
He went and Vanessa finished the breakfast. It was still a bit weird, being more mature than her own father, but she no longer minded. Partially due to Perry, who, bit by bit, unveiled Heinz' backstories. Hearing them helped her realise that while her father wasn't perfect, he was trying his best to be a decent human being without any useful frame of reference. So, if he occasionally wanted to be a menace to general society, or build a doomsday device, she would roll her eyes, sure, but she would help anyway. It was fun, especially when Perry entered the fray.
Perry slipped into the kitchen, chirping in greeting. He was properly dressed again, or perhaps a bit underdressed, contrary to what Vanessa was used to - he forewent the vest and the tie and the agent hat, his shirt rumpled. Without prompting, he started to set the table, well aware of the location of the utensils.
"You know," Vanessa looked at him askance, "I lowkey want to have the break his heart and I'll break every bone in your body monologue, but..." She turned fully at him. "I don't have to, do I?"
"Between the two of us," she translated aloud as he signed slowly with careful gesturing so she could catch the meaning behind his movements, "I, that means you, obviously, know how to dispose of a body!" she finished without waiting for the last sign, snorting in amusement. "Fair."
He grinned at her and she couldn't help but grin back.
"So," she nudged him with her elbow. "Are we keeping this a secret from OWCA, or... are you going to break the betting pool?"
Perry laughed in that peculiar, chittering way of his, all mellow and unguarded.
Vanessa just smiled fondly. Monty bet that Perry would never overstep the professional boundaries regarding her father and she couldn't wait to rub that misapprehension in his face.