Archive of Our Own

If Sanji was being honest, he really doesn't know what to do about Nami. Her presence in his life had him pushed to both the euphoria of happiness as well as the brink of despair.

She has always been his most unattainable heart’s desire. It's true that women are his weakness and he is completely devoted to all their needs. That likely stemmed from his childhood with his mother and sister. Both women he wished he could protect from the chaotic toxicity of his father and brothers. Zeff's teaching only encouraged him further to embrace this role as a protector of the ladies. So that stupid Mosshead can make fun of him all he wants. Sanji will wear his weakness like a badge of honor.

But Nami is different. She has always been different. It wasn't just that she was his “Nami-san” and he was her “Sanji-kun”. Her presence has him going weak in the knee and producing flowery poetry. Although to be fair, all women had that effect on him but there was just something about Nami who causes his heart to skip a little extra each time. A little extra treat, a little extra words of affection, a little extra gaze of longing, a little extra of everything. And it wasn't just that. She was spunky, courageous, intelligent, kind, and completely devoted to her friends. She wasn't just any girl. She was his Nami-san, his crew mate, his friend. Although he would have hoped one day to call her his in the most intimate way possible, that was a pipe dream that little Sanji would never be worthy of. He could never be worthy of someone as incredible as her.

He first met her while working a typical lunch shift at Baratie. All the waiters kept quitting so Sanji was working in the front of the house. Some hot shot marine had come in thinking he could pull some amateur tricks to impress his lady friend.

He couldn't help himself picking apart everything the man was trying to do. It honestly was painful to watch. The lady deserved a lot better, a proper gentleman who appreciates her for who she is as much as he does her beauty. He had contemplated if he should try his chance on wooing her himself. Maybe bringing her to the back, where an exclusive table with a fruit parfait and a glass of Bordeaux Rosé awaits.

Alas fate had a different plan when she came in his line of sight. Or should he say, line of sound. He heard her first before he saw her. That was probably a sign that she was going to be special. For the first time it wasn’t the visual appeal of a woman’s beauty that drew him. Her peals of laughter was music to his ears and he didn’t even know a sound of a person’s voice could be so attractive. When he spotted her from across the room, it was like nothing else in the world mattered. He felt himself pulled towards her direction, poetry sprouting out of his mouth as he approached her. Something about “not caring about being a pirate or the devil” was along the lines. Words he had never used before on another woman. Words that were spoken only to her.

That was the day he laid his heart out at her feet to have for the rest of her life. Afterall, love is a hurricane and it will hit you when you least expect it. Something in him told him she was worth it. The question instead had been “was he worthy of her”?

She never took him seriously. Not his promises of love and devotion, not his flowery praises, not even his attempt to ask her each time if “she had fallen in love with him”. The last bit was more personal for him since it was hard for him to hold his feelings in. That part of himself which reminded him of his late mother, Sora. So instead he did it in the most non-committal way possible. That way she wouldn’t feel burdened by his feelings and he would still be able to let it out each time.

He fancied himself as her servant, a slave to love because he would do anything to make her happy. Making treats for her became his hobby and she never failed to show her gratitude and compliment for his effort. Reminding him again of his mother, who would praise him for his cooking even when it wasn't good. Although he never told her, that unconscious gesture from her meant the world to him.

As time went on, it became apparent that they shared a lot in common. Namely their love for books at a very young age. It started one night when she entered the kitchen looking to have some tea. He, as usual, nearly tripped over himself to prepare a pot for her. Her expression was contemplative before asking him more about his knowledge of “Liar Noland”. A book they had previously discussed of which he had given them some background. She was curious about his reading habits growing up and he was only too happy to oblige her with titles that he read in his childhood. His response seems to pique her interest and the conversation leads to more talks about books, titles, and eventually subject matters within them. What began in the kitchen eventually moved to the tangerine trees with discussions about far off islands and historical events of the distant past. This would happen a couple more times until it became a routine for them. As time went on, they also began swapping childhood stories. She would tell him memories involving the tangerine groove near her childhood home while he would tell her stories about growing up in the back of the kitchen at the Baratie.

Those were the cherished memories he shared with just her. It felt like they could talk about anything and everything without getting bored or running out of topics. So he did his best not to let his emotions ruin them. No nosebleed, no declaration of love, just being present when he was with her during those moments.

Even though he could not win her love, he did eventually win her respect. He had failed to take down Kalifa due to his moral code to never kick a woman. She had been upset at him for putting himself in danger over it, even calling him an idiot. But in the end, she fought on his behalf, telling him that she holds a bit of admiration for his chivalry. That was the moment he knew that just being her friend would have to be enough.

Absalom had been the worst of his kind. It brought out a rage in him that he had not encountered before. An anger deep inside that was a reminder of his potential of where he came from. Of course it would be for her sake that this level of emotion would surface after all these years. Wasn't he already willing to become the devil for her since the very beginning?

The moment he saw her at the chapel was like witnessing a fairy or perhaps an angel. All he wanted to do was to fall on his knee and worship her like the goddess she is to him. To Sanji, all women were beautiful but Nami-san was a cut above them all.

How dare that pervert try to marry his Nami-san? Didn't he know that no one in this world is worthy of her? He put forth everything he had to rescue her away from that place but ultimately failed when that scumbag turned her invisible and ran off to who knows where. He was thankful that she managed to defeat that vile piece of crap and eventually escaped to safety.

Seeing her in that white wedding dress brought about emotions he hadn't associated with any other women. He wanted to be her knight, her protector. It wasn't just perverted tendencies anymore. It was love. The kind of love you feel where you will put your own life on the line to protect them from danger. The kind of love you feel when you will do anything in your power to fulfill their wishes. The kind of love you feel when you put their happiness above your own. It was unconditional and he would never ask for anything in return.

The two years of separation were brutal where Sanji spent a miserable time on Momoiro Island without any female presence. When they reunited again, his emotions were an all time high. Needless to say he couldn't help himself with the nosebleed. As always, Robin-chan had looked beautiful but Nami-san had looked exceptionally radiant to him. Maybe it was because of the separation and isolation from everything. Maybe it was because her orange flowing hair had grown out and therefore increased her sex appeal. Maybe there was an extra sparkle in her hazel eyes now that they were both a bit older. Maybe it was just a simple fact that after all this time, she still didn't fail to take his breath away.

He wondered if they would fall back into their old night time routine by the tangerine trees. He wondered because she seemed to be avoiding him in the first few weeks. One night, he heard her complimenting his dinner which gave him courage to seek her out later that evening. He found her by her trees, almost like she had been waiting for him. To his delight and relief, they naturally fell back into the comfortable conversation they always had with each other. It was like finding your old favorite pair of socks and wearing it again. When it came to things concerning her, it always felt right for him.

During their adventure on Punk Hazard, she boldly declared that she could not turn her back on children who were crying for help. Her words reminded him so much of Sora, who risked her own life to save the humanity of her children against the cruelty of her husband’s plan. He didn't think it was possible that he could fall even harder for her at that moment but he did. The most amazing part was that it wasn't an effort for her to do so. Her being herself had always been exactly what he wanted. And it breaks his heart every time to think that he doesn’t stand a chance with her romantically.

It wasn't that he didn't try to move on. There was the encounter with Viola-chan in Dressrosa. He really felt he could fall in love with someone like her. Except the moment he heard news that the Straw Hats were being attacked, his first instinct was to go save his Nami-san.

He thought about his actions afterwards. How rude of him to so readily leave Viola-chan the moment he thought his Nami-san was in danger. He had an inkling that finding love with another woman would remain fruitless. She would always remain his number one priority.

Then there was his engagement to Pudding-chan. His motivation since the beginning was to save his friends, save Zeff. Plus, his fiancee was beautiful and kind hearted and so Sanji thought it wasn't too bad of a predicament to be marrying her.

As it turned out Pudding-chan was not the kind-hearted, innocent girl he thought she was. And Nami-san was not unaffected by his absence as he thought she would be.

Not only did she and Luffy come all the way to save him, they willingly put themselves in danger to do so. He would never be able to erase the memory of her disappointing and angry expression when she slapped him for his supposed betrayal.

So much happened on Whole Cake Island. Most importantly, he found the courage to stick up against his family and disowned the Vinsmoke name for good.

When he returned to the Sunny. He didn't know what to expect. She had made it clear that she wasn't going to forgive him. The last thing he expected was her tearfully embracing him. His heart was pounding like crazy as he blurted out his love confession right then and there.

Pudding-chan had seemed remorseful regarding what she had done and everything that had transpired between them. He didn't hesitate to believe her. If anything, he was glad she was the one to play the role of his fiancee. She wasn’t the one for him after all and still had a lot to learn about the world. He wished her well, sending her off felt no different than saying goodbye to an ally. Like Viola-chan and many other women he had encountered in the past, he would find himself parting ways with them one way or another.

There was only really one who’s departure he could not imagine. He seemed to recall a vague memory in the past when he thought she wasn’t going to show up on the ship and nearly had a panic attack. So, it came as no surprise for him to be reminded again that she remains the exception amongst all the others.

That evening after a big celebration of his return to Sunny, he found her sitting alone beside the tangerine trees, deep in thought.

"Nami-san? Is everything okay?"

She looked startled by his presence but seemed to quickly recover afterwards.

"I-I was just wondering if you had any regrets coming back to us."

He stared at her dumbfoundedly, not knowing how to answer.

As if sensing his confusion, she continued, "Clearly, you had a good chance to be with Pudding. She's pretty cute and it seems you both have quite a few things in common. Despite everything she still helped us a lot at the end. And from the way she was looking at you, I'm pretty sure she likes you."

Pudding-chan likes him? Nami-san thinks he wants to be with Pudding-chan? What is going on here?

"I mean we would have definitely supported you if you told us you wanted to be with her. You didn't have to come back to us even though it wouldn't be the same here without you. You don't need to sacrifice your happiness for us, you know? We are your friends after all and we want you to be happy."

He stared at her, eyebrows slightly pulled up. Doing his best to keep his expression neutral while his mind was reeling at the thought that there was definitely some kind of misunderstanding between them. He is not interested in Pudding-chan! He’s interested in her! Always has been and always will be, is what he wanted to say.

Instead what came out of his mouth was, "Nami-san, I deeply appreciate your concern about my happiness. I can assure you that my decision to come back IS pursuing my happiness."

As much as he wanted to confess his feelings at that moment, it didn’t feel like it was the right time to do so. Her reasoning as she had clearly stated was for him to be happy. So it wasn’t like she was interested in him romantically.

Seemingly satisfied with his answer, she turned her attention towards the tangerine trees. Feeling a bit bold, he took the opportunity to lean in closer, taking in the distinct scent of tangerine from her hair. If he could, he would wish to stay in this position forever.

"You know Sanji-kun, if you stop being such a hopeless flirt and be yourself, girls might actually fall for you a lot quicker." She had turned her head back to look at him, startling him out of his daze.

What did she mean by that? He wondered. Nami-san isn’t making any sense tonight. Despite being a love sick idiot, he was no fool. If he didn’t know any better, it was almost like she was telling him exactly how to win her over. Something he’s convinced himself was never going to happen.

"Nami-san, do you-" He paused, searching her eyes for any sign that what he was thinking may be true. Has he ever told her how beautiful her eyes were? If not, he made a note to do so in the future. A man could get lost in those eyes while pledging his eternal love. Not that he hasn’t already done that.

Instinctively, he pulled her into a hug, taking in the smell of fresh soap and tangerine that was so distinctively his Nami-san. He felt her sigh into his chest as a content smile spread across his face.

He knew in his mind and his heart that it was the right choice to come back.

—-----------------------

He thought more about what she told him that day. Maybe Nami-san can't take him seriously because he hasn't been conveying his emotions seriously. He has never confessed his love in a capacity that wasn't full of flowery praises and constant nosebleed.

The only times he's shed that love struck part of himself were those precious nights they spent conversing by the tangerine trees. Those were the moments he would show her a different side of himself. Though ironically, he made a point during that time to not act out his feelings.

He didn't fault her for misreading his intentions all this time. It would be hard to tell apart his genuine feelings of love towards her if he was going to act ridiculous every time he sees a woman.

Which means, as his hopeful heart concluded, that there may be a chance for him after all.

—-----------------------

At last, Luffy was declared King of the Pirates putting an end to the search of the One Piece. As per Luffy’s style, the crew did not hold back in celebrating in the most spectacular way possible. Full of fireworks, a large bonfire, and the attendance of all the allies and friends they met along the way. Sanji with the help of Zeff and the Baratie crew cooked up a meal that would remain in people’s memory for at least the next decade.

While watching his crew mates joyfully celebrating this special occasion, he noticed a pensive expression that would appeal on his Nami-san’s face whenever she thought no one was noticing. Happy as she seemed to be about Luffy’s victory, there was something else weighing on her mind.

“You’re an open book, Sanji,” said a gruff voice from behind.

Sanji nearly jumped out of his skin. Turning around, ready to give the old geezer a piece of his mind, only to be stopped short by the look on Zeff's face. He looked thoughtful as he nodded towards Nami-san.

“You haven’t been honest with your feelings, have you?” He asked. It was more a statement than a question.

Sanji didn't know how to respond but it seemed like Zeff already knew the answer.

“I may be an old man but I'm no stranger to love and matters of the heart.”

Then pointing in Nami-san's direction, he continued, “If you keep flirting with any woman that comes your way, she will never take you seriously,”

“I'm aware of that,” Sanji said, shooting the old geezer an annoyed look.

“Tell you what,” Zeff said, fetching a piece of paper from his pocket, “When you do get the courage to confess to her, I'll cook whatever you want for a whole year.” He scribbled something on it before handing it to Sanji, “Bring that note back to me with the girl and I will honor my words.”

Sanji stared down at the piece of paper.

What was it that was keeping him from confessing? Sanji hadn’t quite found the right moment to do so. Actually that was a complete lie. He just didn’t have the confidence to do so. It was easier to keep playing the love sick idiot when he was around her. It was another thing to make all that real. Because as far as he is concerned, a rejection from her would be absolute. He wouldn’t know what to do if it came to that. He wouldn’t know how to recover from it.

Sanji carefully folded up the paper and tucked it away safely in his suit pocket. He really needed a smoke right now.

—----------------------

They had docked at Syrup Village to replenish supplies when Nami made the announcement to her crewmates. She was taking a break from the crew to do some exploration on her own, spend time on Cocoyashi with Genzo and Nojiko, and likely rejoin them again in a year or two.

Chopper and Usopp were in tears after hearing her decision even though Usopp was also departing from the crew, deciding to stay back with Kaya. Chopper made her promise to keep a den den mushi just for him so he could reach her anytime. Usopp insisted that she take one of the ships from Kaya’s shipping yard. He also made her promise to visit him routinely for maintenance check ups so they could still see each other.

"You got the great mechanic Usopp on your side, why would you go with anyone else?" He declared, looking pretty pleased with himself.

Luffy seemed genuinely happy for her and was confident that she would rejoin them again. The Mosshead gave her a send off that was curt and to the point before walking away, likely going to look for a decent spot to nap. Jinbe, Carrot, and Franky pulled her into a big group hug as Brook conjured up a tune in her name while asking about her panties. That second bit earned him a hard smack on the skull with her Clima-Tact. He could tell she was the most sad to say goodbye to Robin-chan. However the archaeologist seemed confident they would meet again soon.

Sanji wished he had felt the same confidence as any of them. Instead his mind had been completely scrambled as he tried to process the reality of her decision. It didn’t just feel like she was leaving the crew. It felt like she was leaving him.

Needless to say, he fell into a funk after hearing the news. Not knowing what to say to her and just aimlessly wandering around town afterwards with no particular reasoning. The rest of the group seemed to sense giving him some space including Nami, who didn’t appear too fazed that he was devastated by her news.

Did she think to consult him about her decision? He had thought they had built a close enough friendship that she would have told him something about it. It took him some time to realize that none of that matters. Her decision was her decision and he has no control over it. The only thing he can control is his own.

Will he have the courage to ask her if he could follow her? Will he finally confess the feelings he's had for her all this time? Will he be able to accept her rejection and still be content to remain friends afterwards? Will it even be too awkward to remain friends after his confession?

There was never any indication throughout their time together that she reciprocated his feelings. If he was to confess, he would need to be sure of one thing. Would he be able to withstand the heartbreak of her rejection, the end of his dream that involves her? All the Straw Hats knew of his dream of finding the All Blue. But there had also been another dream. One that involves the two of them growing old together with a house situated next to a groove of tangerine trees. The dream of building a life together with the woman he hasn't stopped adoring, loving, and cherishing since the day he met her.

Ultimately he had decided that confessing his feelings was better than nothing. Even if she rejects him, he would ask to stay by her side with no romantic expectation. Regardless of the outcome, he needed to have this conversation with her before she leaves. If she ends up finding love with someone else he will wholeheartedly support her decision. After all, he had already placed her happiness above his own a long time ago.

For the next couple of days, he busied himself procuring supplies, mostly food, to stock her new ship that Usopp and Kaya had gifted her. He snuck onto her ship one night and was in the middle of organizing her new kitchen when she caught him.

"What in the seven seas are you doing here?!"

At the sound of her voice, he quickly turned around, face automatically melting into a radiant smile until he noticed her rage filled eyes and anger demeanor.

"Do you have any idea how worried sick I have been these last few days? What's going on, Sanji-kun? Why have you been ignoring me? Are you upset at something? If you are then why can't you just talk to me? I thought we were friends!"

Taken aback by her words, he had been so consumed with his own feelings that he hadn’t even considered hers. How could he have made such an amateur mistake? He felt himself reaching forward for her hands to comfort her. She sounded hurt and angry and it was all his fault.

"I'm sorry, Nami-san. I didn't realize my actions were hurting you. I-"

She didn't let him finish, instead swatting away his hands and proceeding to shove him hard on his chest before punching him over and over again.

"I don't care! I'm so mad at you right now!" She screamed as she continued punching him. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional guilt he was feeling as to what he had done. After some time, she stopped punching and buried her face into his chest, sobbing tears onto his shirt. He took the opportunity to encircle his arms around him. Conveying silent apologies over and over again in hopes that she may forgive him for his inconsiderate actions.

Eventually she pushed herself off of him, her eyes demanding that he explain himself.

He sighed, there was no way around it except to be honest, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything. Your decision to go on your own took me by surprise. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you."

To his relief, her expression seems to soften as his words.

"Sanji-kun, why didn't you just come talk to me? Why do you still keep on acting on your own rather than rely on your friends?"

That was the cue he needed to finally take the plunge and tell her what’s been on his mind. The thing he kept failing to find the courage to do for a very long time. As a nervous habit, he instinctively felt around for a pack of cigarettes, mentally cursing that of all days there was none in his pockets.

Forget those cigarettes, it was now or never.

"Nami-san, I have decided to go with you." Grabbing her hands and pulling her close that he could count the freckles on her cheeks.

"Wait, what?"

Her expression was one of disbelief and confusion. Trying not to feel discouraged by her reaction, he pushed himself to continue.

"After my sham wedding, you told me that if I could be myself, I would be able to attract the woman I love. You were right, I do want to be honest with her. I want a chance to win her affection, have her take me seriously, and not just see me as some shameless flirt."

He takes a long, shaky breath, "I know you never really took me seriously and I can't blame you. Now that the One Piece is found, we could both take a break from the crew. You continue drawing your map and me to find the All Blue. I want to take this chance to prove to you that I am serious about you. Ever since that day I saw you in Baratie, my heart had already belonged to you. I have never held back declaring my love but I know you never took my words to heart. To you I may have just been a silly infatuated boy. I was happy just having your friendship, knowing that it would never be more. Until you gave me hope after that day. I felt I may have a chance to change your mind."

Swallowing visibly, he spoke the words that had been in his heart since the moment he saw her, "I love you, Nami-san. There's been no one in the world quite like you. Even if you don't return my feelings, I'm happy to stay by your side for the rest of my life as your servant to protect you, to feed you, and to keep you company for whatever you need."

She didn’t say anything for a really long time and he was starting to lose courage at her prolonged silence. So he tried again, his voice a bit shaky and nervous as he spoke.

"If you will have me, I promise to never flirt with another girl again. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life proving my love to you. For you I am willing to go anywhere, do anything, and be anyone. So please, Nami-san, will you say something?" The last part was basically a plea. Anything really at this point. Sanji could feel his heart about to explode due to all the anticipation. He really has no idea what is going on in her mind. Her expression remains completely unreadable at the moment.

Eventually, he felt her slowly backing away. Her action, an unspoken rejection and he felt his soul nearly crushed down by the weight of it all. He didn’t think it would hurt so much when it was actually happening and he almost stopped breathing.

"I'm afraid, Sanji-kun, you may be mistaking our friendship with something else. Your default is to love and protect women but that's only a coping mechanism from losing your mother from such a young age. What you feel for me is no different than what you feel for any other woman. I just happen to be your crew mate."

Anger immediately replaced devastation and nervousness. How could she think this was some misplaced affection due to proximity? Did she have any idea how tortured he’s been with his feelings since day one? It was one thing to reject him but another to diminish his emotions as misguided.

"You're wrong, Nami-san!" He noticed her flinch slightly at his tone. There were few times he had been angry at her which often involved her safety so this was his first time he was showing fury directly at her.

"If there was ever something I was sure of in this life, it would be my love for you! It's true I enjoy the company of all women but no one has ever come close to what you mean to me. Since the day you came into my life there has been no one else in my heart. My entire being, both body and soul, has only ever belonged to you," He takes a steady breath before continuing, "I can live with the fact that you may never return my feelings. I have long ago made peace with it. But please, please, I beg you, don't ever question what I feel for you is not the real thing!"

"Then how do you explain the fact that you so readily agreed to marry Pudding?" She retorted back angrily, "If you really love me like you said, how could you just agree to spend the rest of your life with someone else?"

Whatever fury and anger he had felt before vanished almost instantly. Was she saying what he thinks she’s saying? Could it be possible that she is-?
.
"Nami-san .... Are you-"

He caught her before she was able to run off.

"Let me go!" He held her firm in his grasp while ignoring her demands.

"Not until you explain yourself, Nami-san!" His arms encircling her closer to him, the intoxicating smell of tangerine that was so distinctively her nearly made him light headed.

"Nami-san, you and I both know the reason I agree to marry Pudding-chan was because I was trying to make the best of a terrible situation." She was so close, he couldn’t help himself nuzzling her neck.

"And besides, you never indicated that you had any interest in me. If I knew you felt a fraction of how I feel about you, I would have fought harder to dissolve the engagement. There's never been anyone else in this world that has ever come close to your position in my heart. It's true I care about Pudding-chan, just like I care about Robin-chan and Vivi-chan and all the other women we met on our journey. But there has only ever been one Nami-san to me."

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

"You're a stubborn woman, Nami-san. It's one of the things I love about you. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you. But right now I need to understand something and I won't let you go until you tell me."

He slowly turned her towards him while keeping a firm grip. She still refuses to look at him.

"What are you afraid of, Nami-san?" He earnestly wanted to know.

"I'm afraid of being hurt, Sanji-kun,” She said finally.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Nami-san.” Hurting her would be the last thing in the world for him. He rather compromises his own life then subject her to any pain or suffering.

"I will pledge my eternal love to you if it could convince you of my sincerity. Tell me what I must do and I'll do it." He would give anything in this life for a chance to be with her. His only hope is that she would believe his words when he says it.

"I'm sorry, Sanji-kun."

It felt like the whole world had just come crashing down on him. This was the rejection he had been anticipating but why did it still hurt so much when it was finally happening? As he struggled to stand still with wobbly feet, he could feel the onset of tears fighting their way through.

Suddenly, he felt soft lips pressed onto his. Confused about what was happening, he could smell the unmistakable presence of fresh tangerine and her warm body pressed against his. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Nami-san was kissing him!

Sanji immediately gathered her into his arms, devouring her like a starved man. Every movement of his lips on hers was a promise of devotion and love for eternity. He felt like he could kiss her forever.

For a brief moment, he was floating in pure bliss. The woman of his dreams was in his arms and he was kissing her senseless. It was everything his besotted heart had ever wanted and more.

But something in him couldn’t settle as a gnawing sense of dread kept floating around his mind, reminding him that the situation had to be too good to be true. Until it dawned on him that perhaps her aim had been purely physical with no emotions and no romance. She didn’t love him back, she just wanted another body to keep her warm at night. Having received no solid confirmation that she ever shared his feelings, this sounded the most logical and likely the most probable. His heart sank at the reality. For him who had never denied her anything, even he would have his limit.

Reluctantly, he broke the kiss. His breathing raggedly as his eyes were fighting tears threatening to spill out. His grip on her shoulder was firm but gentle, producing space between their bodies. She was looking back at him with a confused expression.

"Nami-san," he gasped, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry but I can't do this. I can't tell if you do genuinely feel something for me or you are just acting on physical needs. I love you with everything I have and because of that I can't just take you by physical means."

She had never indicated she had any romantic feelings for him so to have her kiss him so out of the blue made no sense. It was likely her way to give him something she thought he wanted. He couldn’t tell if it was pity or guilt that was the reasoning behind the action. Ultimately it didn’t matter what it was, he needed to be clear to her that this isn’t going to work.

"I love you, Sanji."

When you have dreamed about those words for as long as he had, to finally hear it in reality almost doesn’t feel right. Like it had to be a tease or a joke, basically anything other than sincerity. Mustering a sad smile, he releases her, pulling himself away from her completely.

"That's a cruel thing to say if it isn't true, Nami-san." His voice is shaky as he blinks away tears.

He felt her steadily approach him, cupping both cheeks with her hands, and bringing his face towards her. There was a sense of determination in her eyes when she spoke.

"I am in love with you, Sanji. The truth is I have been slowly falling for you and I was just too scared to admit it. When I heard that you agreed to marry Pudding, I was jealous and more importantly scared that I was going to lose you. I didn't want to admit it then but I was already in love with you."

He felt his heart dropping to his stomach. Was this really happening? Was he really hearing her say everything he had been hoping for so long? He sensed her taking a breath before continuing.

"I love your kindness to not let anyone go hungry under your watch. I love your courage to stand up against your toxic family. I love your strength that you put forth to protect your friends. I love your ability to strategize any situation from mundane inventory checks to rescue missions. I even love that stupid moral code you have to never kick a woman."

He stood rigid, not knowing how to process any of it. If she had wanted him to say something by now, she would have been thoroughly disappointed. Luckily, she didn’t seem to have that expectation.

"And that's not all, I also love everything you do for me. I love how you make me feel beautiful no matter what I'm wearing. I love how you take notice to make my favorite treats when I'm having a bad day. I love how you choose to stay up late with me talking besides the tangerine trees. I love how you protected me unconditionally in all our adventures together. And what I love the most is how you take care of the things that are important to me so I don't have to worry so much."

He felt her hands softly caressed his cheeks as he instinctively leaned into them. There were tears in her eyes as she spoke.

"And that's still not all. I don't love how you easily sacrifice yourself because you value so little of your life. I don't love how worried I get when I realize I may lose you one day to your stupidity or selflessness. And I especially don't love how much I hurt you by denying my feelings because I was too scared of losing you."

The loud thumping of his heart was the only thing he could hear in between her pauses. He slowly let out a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding this whole time.

"But in the end, I am willing to take a chance for us because you mean more to me than my fear. So I will say it again and hopefully you will believe me this time. I love you, Sanji. My heart is as much yours as yours is mine."

It took some time for the gravity of her words to sink in. There was no denying of what she was saying.

Nami-san really loves me. She really does love me!

There were no words to describe the unfiltered elation coursing through his soul at the moment. His heart felt like it was ready to burst out of overwhelming joy. Almost immediately he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards him, nose nuzzling lovingly on her neck. She was a giggling mess as he chuckled softly at the sound of her reaction.

"Nami-san, shall I list to you everything that I love about you?"

She pulled back to look into his eyes, her expression full of the same adoration and love he felt for her.

"Why don't you show me instead?" She teased, inching towards him before capturing his lips into a kiss. He responded eagerly with great passion. His lower half twitched excitedly and he could feel himself starting to lose control. The last thing he wanted was for this moment to be spoiled by his overeagerness and for her to feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t easy to pull away from her but he felt he needed to if he was going to respect any boundaries she may have.

"I'm sorry Nami-san, but I'm afraid if we keep going like this I'm not going to be able to control myself later."

"Who said I wanted you to control yourself?" She pushed herself up onto the kitchen counter while pulling him in with her legs. Sanji’s head nearly exploded at the feel of her being this close, this suggestive. If anything it felt like she was equally if not more eager than him.

"N-Nami-san, t-this is my first time so I'm afraid I may not be--"

He felt her fingers on his lips, shushing him, "It's my first time too so how about we learn together?" Sanji’s head officially exploded.

Whooping loudly, he quickly gathered her in his arms and bolted off to the nearby bedroom with silent promises that he would make it a memorable night for the both of them.

—--------------

Sanji woke up the next morning, wondering if the night before had all been a dream. When his eyes fell on Nami sleeping peacefully beside him, his giddy heart skipped a couple of beats realizing that all of it really did happen. The journey of him chasing for her affection had not been easy. He had never stopped trying to win her love, had made peace with the reality that she could never love him back, had even tried to move on from her with other women, but ultimately came back to her because he knew there was never going to be a substitute for her in his heart. So for her to finally return his feelings after all this time, he couldn’t help the dorky smile that spread across his face as he admired her sleeping form.

Of course that idiot Usopp had the nerve to ruin a perfectly good morning, supposedly coming by at the most inopportune time for a maintenance check. While trying to protect the decency of his Nami-san, he hurled his shoe at the man’s head as he bolted back up the stairs.

They could hear him muttering something like "about damn time" and "couldn't you all have waited until you were at sea" as he scurried off the ship, likely to go tell Kaya, the rest of the crew, and basically anyone who would listen.

------------

So it came as a no surprise to anyone the following week when the blonde cook and orange headed navigator set sail together. To search for the All Blue and complete the maps that were promised in the beginning.

Luffy remains optimistic that he will get them back within a year but Robin, Jinbe, and even Zoro had their own suspicion that the timing could change with this new development. Chopper had wanted to tag along too but Usopp managed to convince him otherwise, saying something about "adults needing alone time" and "that children should keep their innocence".

—-----------

Some time later while sailing out in the open sea, the den den mushi rang in the kitchen while Sanji was in the middle of prepping dinner.

“What the hell, Sanji?!” The familiar gruff voice demanded on the other line, “Why do I have the King of the Pirate here asking for food with that piece of paper I gave you?”

A smirk spread across his face as he imagined the old geezer fuming on the other line. Likely because Luffy was there demanding a meat buffet of some sort. He wished that he could have been there to see it in person.

“I gave it to Luffy since you said you would honor your words.” There was a pause on the other end before a deep chuckle sounded through the receiver.

“You actually did it, eh little eggplant?” It was more of a statement than a question. “Didn’t I tell you to bring that paper with the girl? Why in the world is that Captain of yours here instead?”

“You didn’t write that condition down on the paper, old man.” It was fun to tease him, “Besides how else would I be able to get Luffy off my back so I could go be with her.”

“Oh, so it was a compromise. I understand now.”

“We’re planning to head to Cocoyashi in a few weeks so I'll drop by Baratie then.”

“You better, I’m holding you to that promise.”

He could hear Luffy’s voice complaining where his dinner was at, followed by Zeff barking back at him to take his sandals off the table before the line was cut.

—------------------------

As he stood in the kitchen smiling contently to himself, a thought occurred to him that he hadn’t explored in ages. A thought about a woman who risked her own health to preserve the emotions of her unborn sons.

There was a time when he had feared that his namesake would one day convert him to become the monster that his father had meant for him to be. In the end, he was reassured that those emotions his mother had sacrificed for were what saved him from falling into that fate. The same emotions that were responsible for the love he felt towards the woman who was currently on deck, navigating their ship. Her presence, which is fulfilling the part in his life that has been missing since his mother’s passing.

The presence of home.