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“I can’t do this anymore, Al.”
Husk sighed, flicking away the cigarette that had burned out between his claws before scratching the back of his neck. He stood at the front door of the hotel, suitcases standing ominously on either side of the cat. The stained glass windows bathed him in a ruby glow. He looked so beautiful.
Alastor stood there, the shock of Husk’s words was ice shooting through his veins. “Husker, please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Al, but you had to have seen this coming. We just weren’t meant to work out. You’re just too…different,” Husk stumbled on the last word.
“Broken, you mean,” Alastor retorted.
“You said it, not me,” Husk sneered imperiously.
“All this for what? Just because I won’t have sex with you?” Alastor was ready to scream but he just didn’t have the energy anymore.
“You know I have needs, Alastor.” Husk spit out his full name as if it were a curse. “Like a fucking normal demon. Some of us aren’t completely unfeeling bastards, Al. I need someone who can satisfy me.”
And there it was. The admission that just reminded Alastor how much of a failure he was as a partner. That he was aberrant. A freak.
Still, Alastor couldn’t bear the thought of Husk leaving him. Husk, the only one who stood by him not because he had to but because he wanted to do so. Who had been his right hand during their contract and then his equal after its dissolution. Who had loved him as no one ever had.
Perhaps Alastor really wasn’t deserving of such love. He truly was a monster.
Alastor fell to his knees before Husk, his arms limp at his sides. He’d never felt more pathetic, so he might as well go all out. He would debase himself in any way to keep Husk at his side.
“Please, Husker, don’t leave me. I need you.”
Husk just frowned down at him with a tsk. “I’m sorry, Al. It’s over.”
With that, Husk turned away and, without looking back, slammed the door behind him.
Alastor jolted awake.
With his cheek still pressed to the pillow, he forced himself to take stock of his surroundings. He was in his bed, in his room, and he could tell from the sliver of silver light shining between the curtains that it was still the middle of the night. Most importantly, Husker was still asleep next to him on the other side of the bed. The cat’s deep breaths and light snoring were soothing to the deer demon, bringing him back into reality.
Alastor sat up in bed, wiping the bangs off of his sweat-soaked forehead. It had just been a dream. A terrible nightmare, more like, but it still had just been a dream.
Right?
When he had been alive, Freud had written that dreams were telling signs of broader problems that had their roots in wish fulfillment.
Alastor wondered idly if Freud was down here with the rest of them.
Alastor knew he was lacking when it came to a romantic relationship. He knew he couldn’t provide everything that Husker needed, but he hoped his kitten was happy with him, anyway. He never thought he would wish for anyone else’s happiness with the obvious exception of his mother but, after his mother had died, he had spent the rest of his tragically short life very much not caring for anyone else. It wasn’t until after his demise that he had found someone that he could not only tolerate, but he found someone whose affections and happiness he actively desired.
The Radio Demon found his eyes veering towards the subject of his tumultuous thoughts. A genuinely soft smile graced his features as he watched the cat’s chest rise and fall in slumber, his ear twitching adorably. As his dream replayed in his mind, however, his ever-wide smile was quickly replaced with a frown.
Was his Husker truly happy? Was their relationship enough? Alastor knew without a doubt that he would burn down Hell itself if Husker but asked it of him. He would do anything for his Husker.
Anything but have sex with him, apparently.
Alastor loved showering his kitten in affection. He genuinely loved their romantic embraces. And he would rather die a second death than lose out on their cuddle time. However, there was just something about sexual intimacy that rubbed Alastor the wrong way. The very idea of it sounded vile.
But what if one day, their relationship wouldn’t be enough for Husker? What if one day Husker decided that he did have needs that Alastor just could not fulfill? What then? He already knew that perverted pink spider lusted after his Husker. It was painfully obvious by the spider’s constant flirting. What if one day, Husker started flirting back?
Alastor continued to stare at the sleeping feline. His mind was warring with itself between despair and determination. He let out a deep sigh. Lucifer, but no one could invade his thoughts and conquer his mind quite like his Husker. He chuckled to himself but at the same time, he steeled himself.
He wanted to be able to provide for his Husker. He wanted to give his Husker everything. His beloved deserved it.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Alastor startled, looking down at the feline whose eyes were still closed. He had been so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed that the cat’s breathing pattern had changed and the snoring had ceased.
“I didn’t know you were awake,” Alastor responded.
“Yeah, well, your loud ass thinking woke me up,” came the grumbled answer.
“Apologies, dear. I’ll attempt to think more quietly,” Alastor chuckled despite himself.
“Uh-huh.”
“How did you even know I was awake?”
Topaz eyes finally opened, pinning the deer demon with an unimpressed look. A single claw pointed up at a tufted cat ear, twitching in clear agitation.
“Ah,” was all Alastor could say.
There was silence for a moment.
“So,” Husk began, propping his head up a bit with a paw. “Why are you awake so late, uh, early?”
“Nothing important,” Alastor attempted to brush it off.
Husk just tsked in a way that sounded too familiar. “That’s bullshit and we both know it. Just tell me what’s wrong, Al.”
“Are you happy?”
Husk was taken aback. “What?”
“Are you happy in our relationship, Husker?”
“What the fuck brought this on?” Husk asked, completely confused and way too tired for this shit.
“Just answer the question, Husker.”
Husk sighed. “Of course I am.”
“Even knowing our relationship is lacking?”
Husk frowned. “You’re talking about sex? We’ve been over this. You know I don’t care about that.”
“But you have needs,” Alastor retorted, fumbling with the bedsheets. He looked so earnest.
“What I need now is sleep.”
“You have needs, darling. Needs that I haven’t satisfied. That ends now.”
“The fuck—“ Husk started but before he knew it, Alastor had climbed on top of him and began kissing him furiously. Frantic hands were grabbing at his cheeks, his shoulders, his chest, his hips, touching him all over, desperately attempting to get him aroused. Husk barely heard the sound of a snap before he realized that the deer demon atop him was now completely naked and rutting against him.
Husk tried to push the other demon off, but Alastor just grabbed his hands and held them above his head. He tried to talk to Alastor but his lips were perpetually covered by the other’s. He was finally prepared to kick the other off, but Al had separated his legs with his knees, the stag planting himself firmly in between the cat’s thighs.
“Al—!” Husk tried to get out, struggling to release himself from the other’s unbreakable hold.
“Al, wait—!”
“This can’t wait, darling,” Alastor gasped out in between aggressive kisses and frenzied thrusting. He sounded flustered, but not in a good way. “We need to do this. I need to do this!”
It took all of his strength, but Husk finally managed to dislodge his lips. “Alastor, STOP!”
Alastor immediately froze as if under some spell. The only thing that signaled to Husk that time hadn’t stopped was Alastor’s chest heaving as he panted. The two just stared at each other for several tense moments, neither fully understanding just what had taken place. Husk was the first to gather himself.
“Let me go, Al,” Husk demanded in a soft but firm voice.
“I can’t,” Alastor finally forced out. His eyes were shut tight as he still clutched onto Husk’s wrists. He sounded pleading. “I can’t lose you.”
There was a beat of silence that felt like an eternity to Alastor.
“Al, what is this really about?”
Alastor gulped in a deep breath, finally meeting his beloved’s eyes. He looked strangely insecure. “I had a dream. A dream that you left me because I wouldn’t have sex with you. That you were unsatisfied with our relationship. I can’t bear to lose you, Husker. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you.”
As Alastor let everything spill out, Husk just stared up at him.
“Al, you’re a fucking idiot.”
“Thank you, Husker,” Alastor shot back. “Please do tell me in what way I am a fucking idiot.”
“You’re an idiot for thinking that I would leave you just because we ain’t fucking,” Husk answered. “Let me be fucking clear: you are a sadistic, narcissistic, cannibalistic psychopath—“
“Thank you, Husker—“
“And I love you, not in spite of what you are but because of who you are. I love everything about you, ya jackass. And I’m actually pretty fucking offended that you think I would leave you simply because you’re not getting my rocks off.”
For one bizarre moment, the Radio Demon was rendered speechless. Husk huffed triumphantly.
“Cat got your tongue, Al?” Husk chuckled.
Alastor eyed the other warily. “You aren’t going to leave me?”
Husk rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
“What about Angel Dust?” Alastor retorted.
“What about him?”
“I see the way he looks at you, the way he flirts with you. He could give you what I can’t.” Alastor hated to admit it.
“I don’t care,” Husk brushed off. “He’s not you.”
Alastor searched the cat’s eyes. Those fiery, citrine eyes that he loved so desperately. They stared up at him challengingly, but there was a gentleness to the defiance that softened the fire to a warm glow. Everything Alastor ever needed to know about his Husker, he could see within those eyes. It was a gift that only Alastor possessed and he clung to it fiercely.
Finally, after several moments of intense scrutiny, Alastor released the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.
“You don’t think I’m…broken?” Alastor asked in the most timid voice Husk had ever heard from the usually haughty demon. “You don’t think there is something missing in our relationship?”
Husk offered a small smile.
“No and no,” he answered. “You’re not broken. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with not wanting to have sex. And nothing is missing in our relationship. All I want is to be with you, in whatever way you’ll have me.”
There was a moment of apprehension before Alastor visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping as if unloaded of an impossibly heavy burden.
“So,” Husk added, letting the word trail off. “You gonna let me go sometime today? My arms are starting to fall asleep.”
“Of course, minou,” Alastor smiled gently, releasing the cat’s wrists, but not before carding his fingers down the fur on the other’s arms in an attempt to soothe the ache. He then dislodged himself from straddling the cat, returning to sit on his side of the bed. With a snap of his fingers, he was dressed again.
Husk stretched his arms and legs to regain feeling before propping his head up on a paw again.
“So, we’re cool now?” Husk asked teasingly.
Alastor’s grin was genuine. “Yes, love, I believe we are.”
“So, I can go back to sleep now?” Husk drawled. He looked at the analog clock on Al’s nightstand and groaned. It was almost 5am.
Alastor laughed jovially. “But Husker! It’s nearly dawn! Time to rise and shine and greet the day!
“Uh, fuck you,” Husk growled. “You can get up but I’m going back to bed. Oh, and Al?”
“Yes, my darling?”
“If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will rip out your antlers and feed them to your gators.”
“Even though you know they’ll just grow back?” Alastor smirked.
“I know what I fucking said. Now shut up and go back to sleep,” Husk demanded, immediately laying back down with a thump and closing his eyes.
“Of course, dear,” Alastor relented with a chuckle, laying back down as well, facing his feline.
“Oh, and Husker?”
Husk groaned but opened his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I love you, too.”