Archive of Our Own

Park Seonghwa

Seonghwa clearly remembers the first time Jeong Yunho had wandered into the bookstore he works at, curious and apprehensive as he walked down each aisle carefully. It was slow, mute, and shallow, the sky edging the city with the promise of rain, but the billowing gray clouds just hadn’t delivered yet. The smell of petrichor was so strong that it had rippled into the small shop, the scent becoming stronger with each opening of the door that led to the outside. Not that many customers had visited; Seonghwa had gone outside to sweep away the leaves that the wind kept blowing onto the storefront. It was a back and forth between Seonghwa and the breeze, a friendly game, if you will. From his place perched behind the till, Seonghwa could see this new customer scan the books, as if he were getting to know each spine intimately. As perceptive as the clerk was, he noticed that tall, pale, and handsome took an exceptional amount of time in the romantic fiction section. 

A small smile graces Seonghwa’s face, and he hopes that this newcomer - like himself - prefers to indulge in a fantasy of two people falling in love. It’s a heavy preference compared to the idea that he is shopping for a sister, his mother, or a lover. In fact, Seonghwa finds himself dreaming up a fantasy in his mind about this stranger, and although this is the face he will put on the next Prince-like character he reads in a book, he realizes that the staring will probably be considered strange if he’s caught.

Not known for his self-discipline, he decides now is the optimal time to start putting new stock on the shelves, more fiction novels, but these are to be placed a couple of aisles down from where Seonghwa’s personal Prince Charming is browsing. This is a safe zone, because at least here, he can’t ogle and undress a stranger in such a public setting. As he’s putting books in their new homes, he’s happy that they sit on shelves more eye level with him, because he doesn’t feel like going to grab the ladder to put things on the top shelf. Not that it’s super high up or anything, but it’s just an inch or two out of Seonghwa’s fully outstretched reach. He’s in the clear, until he gets to the last book, and it mocks him as does the top shelf.

Refusing to go to the back to grab the ladder over one book, he stretches out, pretty sure he’s just as much on the tips of his toes as a classical ballerina as he’s trying to finesse the book into the proper space - and he’s struggling. There is absolutely no way that the book is getting up there this way, and Seonghwa considers buying it just so he doesn’t have to get it onto the shelf. 

Just as he’s considering climbing his way up there, he feels pressure on his waist, turning towards that side just to see a shoulder, and turning to look at his other side to see somebody reaching up for the book and helping him slide it into place. This is an easy feat for the other person, who makes Seonghwa feel much smaller than he really is. For the briefest moment, Seonghwa feels safe and tucked away from the world as this stranger’s body practically envelops him. Not only physically, but Seonghwa can’t ignore the strong aroma of cinnamon and amber, and he wonders if this is what heaven smells like. 

When the scent isn’t as intense and he’s no longer in a pocket that hides him away, he turns around to see the very man he’d hidden in this aisle to avoid. He can feel his cheeks growing hot. 

“T-thanks,” it’s a feeble attempt at gratitude, and Seonghwa can’t even look him in the eyes because if he does, he’s not sure he’ll be able to stand up straight. This man, on the contrary, does not seem to have this problem. It feels as if he’s looking at Seonghwa as if he’s never seen another human before, or perhaps Seonghwa has a third eye on his forehead he was previously unaware of. What timing it would be for it to appear right now. That would be just his luck, after all. 

“It’s not a problem,” despite the bold way he’s able to look at Seonghwa, smile even, his voice is tentative and small. If Seonghwa was delusional enough - and he was - he could have sworn that he sounded shy , and fuck, if that wasn’t a win in Seonghwa’s book-. After this…they both linger. Neither one is really moving away, the shopper is no longer looking at him but instead scanning books on the shelf next to them. 

Seonghwa remembers he’s at work. 

“Was there something that you needed help with?” he asks, now looking up at the other. Honestly, he’s hoping the customer needs help personally going through each book in the store. Or something else tedious and timely. The other hesitates for a moment, and gives an awkward chuckle. 

“Ah, yes, I think I’m ready to check out,” he claims, and Seonghwa smiles and nods through his disappointment. Leaving the small book rack behind, he leads the other over to the checkout counter, and rings him up on the till. Seonghwa is once again reduced to not being able to look this man in the eye, telling him the total of his singular book in a feather-light voice. 

After paying for his items, he graces Seonghwa with a big smile, “Thank you, uh…” he leans in across the counter to look at, Seonghwa assumes, his name tag, before leaning back, “Seonghwa.” Seonghwa can feel gooseflesh all over his body, tingling from the way his name is said in such a delectable and deep voice. 

“It’s no problem…” Seonghwa lets the sentence linger off, eyes now fluttering up towards the customer. 

“Yunho,” he introduces himself eagerly. 

“Yunho.” Repeating the name feels like taking a sip of the richest, warmest  hot chocolate in the middle of winter. When Yunho is walking out of the store, Seonghwa can’t help but think how ridiculous it is how accurate romance novels are about love at first sight. 

* * *

Seonghwa’s friendship with Hongjoong goes all the way back to University; well, if you could really consider it a friendship. They’d been fortunate enough to share a few classes here and there, tending to study together at a cafe or partner up if the opportunity presented itself. Hongjoong was decently smart and he always did his fair share of the work, and on top of that he was one of the few friends that Seonghwa could spend meaningless time with and it not get awkward. Go to a movie where the theater is relatively empty and forego any commentary? Check. Get coffee and wordlessly walk along a river or through the park? Check. Go to a painting studio and remember that they became writers because they could make a scene much easier with words instead of oil pastels? Check, check check. 

It wasn’t that Seonghwa preferred his friendships to be dull and boring, but at least he knew that he wouldn’t get taken advantage of for his intrinsic kindness. It was a part of himself that he was painfully aware of, and yet did little to nothing to change it. 

Ironically, even after all of these years, the first time Seonghwa had ever been to Hongjoong’s home was for his going away party. Finally fed up with this small town, like most, his friend had his eyes set on bigger and better things. Coming to this party had really been an eye-opener for Seonghwa, as well; he’d always considered Hongjoong to be the quiet and closed off type. The obnoxiously loud party that had the small apartment packed full of more people than Seonghwa thought his friend even knew. 

Speaking of Hongjoong, he’s nowhere to be found. 

Awkwardly, Seonghwa stands in the kitchen, nursing a drink that’s far too strong for him. He’s chosen this room, because out of all of the common areas here, this one has the least amount of people. He considered going home, but given that Hongjoong is going to be moving, he doesn’t want to be rude and disappear without getting to say goodbye to somebody who’s remained somewhat close to him over the past few years. Still, he’s pretty much zoned out by now, eyes focused in on the knob of a cabinet as everything has become a blur. Miraculously, disassociating has even helped drown out the noise a little bit. 

And yet, no amount of escaping his body will keep him from responding when that voice says his name. Delectable and deep.

Snapping out of his fog, his head turns up to see the gorgeous customer from a couple of days ago. “Seonghwa?” he asked, eyes a little more round with surprise as he studied Seonghwa’s features. At least, that’s what it felt like he was doing. “It’s me, Yunho. I was in the bookstore a couple of days ago.” 

As if Seonghwa could ever forget. 

And it’s not lost on him that Yunho hasn’t forgotten, either. 

“Oh yeah! I think I remember you!” Seonghwa’s talking loudly so he could be heard over the music and other conversations happening. It must not be loud enough, because Yunho leans in a little closer as if it will help him hear, and Seonghwa is instantly attacked with cinnamon and amber. It’s clear when Yunho registers what Seonghwa says, because he smiles to the point where the tips of his ears turn pink. 

“You must have a lot of customers, I guess I should be flattered that you remember,” Yunho teases back, and Seonghwa now has to try and hear him over the thumping of his own heart, which is strangely louder than anything else at the party. “I’m sorry, it’s really loud out here. Would you like to go somewhere more quiet?” Yunho asks, and Seonghwa instantly nods his head, gesturing for the other to lead the way. He figured they might go out to a balcony, or outside of the apartment, but he’s instead brought into a bedroom. Seonghwa walks in, eyeing everything within the four corners before turning around to watch Yunho close the bedroom door, giving the other a questioning look. 

“How funny is it we’re both friends with Hongjoong, and we’ve never met,” Seonghwa jokes, eyes finding a bookshelf and kneeling next to it as his eyes begin to scan over the spines of books. “I’ve been friends with him for years. ”

“I’ll need to raise my complaints with him, then,” Yunho agrees, coming to kneel next to Seonghwa in front of the book case. “We’ve been roommates for years.” Seonghwa looks over at Yunho, tilting his head to the side. 

“Roommates?” 

“Yeah,” Yunho nodded, looking back at Seonghwa with so much warmth in his eyes. 

“So, this is your room then?” he questions, and Yunho nods sheepishly, as if he’s suddenly self-conscious about how he’s decorated the place, or whether it’s clean enough or not; Seonghwa can see the way the other’s eyes quickly dart across the room as if he’s going down a mental checklist. “It’s nice,” Seonghwa says finally, humming in acceptance as he turns back to the books, “Nice little library, too.” 

“Thanks,” Yunho’s now tracing intricate words on one of the books, “I don’t have a lot of time to read, but I like to collect the ones with the pretty covers. Makes me at least want to make time to read them,” he laughs lightly, and Seonghwa can’t help but be led to smile at such a tender noise. 

“We have a lot with pretty covers at the store I work at,” Seonghwa explains, hoping to convince the others to come in more. 

“Your store has a lot of pretty things,” Yunho adds, and Seonghwa can feel the other’s eyes on him. Heat begins to spread throughout his cheeks as he tries to consider that he really can be lucky enough to experience something like this. 

“What made you visit that store, anyways?” Seonghwa is too awkward to flirt so shamelessly, so he toes the ground as he changes the subject. Plus, what if he’s misinterpreted the words? What if he flirts back and ends up rejected? 

“Hongjoong told me about it. I wish he would have told me a lot sooner,” Yunho answers, his eyes still on Seonghwa, who wants to be put out of his misery. The other is just too cute, too well-spoken, and painfully Seonghwa’s type. He desperately wishes that he were more bold and confident, and that he could sweep Yunho off of his feet just as much as he felt like his feet had long ago left the floor. 

“Does that mean you’ll be back in again?” Seonghwa tests the waters, eyes flickering up to meet Yunho’s gaze. God, he hopes Yunho will be back again. 

Yunho looks at him for a moment - a long, agonizing moment, and Seonghwa waits for the rejection. Waits for Yunho to casually mention something about not being into men, or that Seonghwa just isn’t the kind of guy he goes for. Fair, Seonghwa is awkward and reserved, and he doesn’t have much to offer sans a huge heart and a lot of love. “As long as you’re there, I will.” 

And that was it - the moment that Seonghwa could suddenly find enough confidence and boldness to follow-through with the act that had come to mind - on a whim, at that. 

Seonghwa leans forward, pressing his lips into Yunho’s. It doesn’t matter to him that they’ve just met, or that Yunho might not even be flirting with him. He doesn’t care that they’re on the floor of Yunho’s bedroom while there’s a crowded and annoying party going on outside. What does matter to him is the shocked look on Yunho’s face when he pulls away, but not shocked as in surprised - more so deep in thought. 

“Yunho?” Seonghwa questions quietly, afraid he might have just fucked up. 

“I’ve never…kissed a man before,” Yunho explains whimsically, and Seonghwa can feel his stomach drop through his asshole. Fuck, of course he’d mess that up big time. Had he really even been flirting this whole time, or had Seonghwa been so hopeful that he was searching for something that was never even there? 

“Fuck, Yunho, I’m sorry,” Seonghwa sits back, creating some distance between them. “I must have read into everything wrong.” He’s mentally chastising himself, not noticing the way Yunho is slowly crawling towards him. 

“You didn’t,” Yunho clarified, a large palm cupping Seonghwa’s jaw as he leans in slowly to share another kiss with him. Seonghwa lets out a shaky breath before fully melting. “I hope I get to keep doing it,” he claims, pulling away from the kiss with a soft smile, and Seonghwa gives him a questioning look. 

“Keep kissing men?” He asks for clarification, because it really is a strange thing to say. There is lilt of humor in his tone, and it’s obvious that he’s teasing Yunho. 

“Keep kissing you.” 

* * *

Always the people pleaser, Seonghwa indulged Yunho, kissing him in every possible moment. Although he would be the first to admit that he was the kind of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve, to imagine weddings at first sight, he was only delusional to a point. And at some point, things with Yunho didn’t feel so one sided anymore. It wasn’t just Seonghwa admiring from afar, daydreaming of all of the scenarios that they could experience together - slowly, these moments Seonghwa yearned for started to become his reality as he started spending more time with the other. 

It had started with phone calls - in a society where everybody claimed to despise talking on the phone, Seonghwa absolutely loved it. Yunho seemed to love it, too, and night after night, that’s exactly what they did. Whether they just talked as they got ready for bed, or they read to one another, it didn’t matter. It felt like spending time together when they weren’t…together. 

And their time together? 

It felt so natural, that Seonghwa was unsure if this was real life. Things with Yunho had developed so easily, that he no longer had to think about all of the ‘could bes’ and finally got to enjoy things at the pace they were going:

A lot of talking. 

A lot of time with one another. 

A lot of kissing. 

Seonghwa could still sense Yunho’s hesitation to take it further. After all, Seonghwa had been the first man he’d ever kissed, and he did his absolute best to respect the pace that Yunho set for himself. He knew how scary it was navigating a new sexual preference, and the confusion and fear that could come with it. He continued to remain patient, just enjoying the time that he was lucky enough to spend with the other. 

Their first date had started at the library, where they picked out a book for the other to reenact a scene from, followed by a stop at the thrift shop where they would choose the other’s ‘stage costume’, followed by going back to Seonghwa’s place to reenact said scenes, followed by more kissing. 

They kissed so much that Seonghwa had to start carrying chapstick on his person at all times. 

It hadn’t been long until they began confiding in one another, sharing both good and bad days over mugs of hot chocolate. Seonghwa had truly felt like he had found his person - the one that he was meant to be with. This had been what he was holding out for, the kind of relationship that all of those love stories had prepared him for - to heighten his expectations but also teach him how to reciprocate. 

Even though Yunho’s pace was slow, the pace of Seonghwa’s heart was not. 

Everything about Yunho was easy to fall for; his looks, his charms, the way that Seonghwa felt like to most important thing in his world whenever he so much as smiled at him, how he was interested in everything even if he didn’t have the time for it, how he continued to have hope and dreams even if they didn’t seem plausible. Just the sound of his voice made Seonghwa feel like he was being wrapped in a warm hug. 

Happiness absolutely consumed him, screaming louder than the fear at the back of his mind that reminded Seonghwa that Yunho could decide that this wasn’t for him. This; Seonghwa, men in general, anything about Seonghwa that he couldn’t change. Despite that fear, Yunho held his hand tightly and guided him through the most organic moments of falling head over heels for somebody. A couple of months into casually dating, Seonghwa found that he’d been right to let that fearful voice in the back of his head be drowned out.

“I wish I could give you the biggest kiss right now,” Yunho sighed while they were on the phone, and Seonghwa had half a mind to put on his shoes and go right over to his place. Naturally, Seonghwa thoroughly enjoyed the romantic things that most others found cringy. 

“Where do you want to kiss me?” Seonghwa questioned playfully, wondering if Yunho would want to kiss him under the stars, or at the beach, or in the rain. He was a sucker for location, he couldn’t help it.

“On your neck,” Yunho said casually, causing Seonghwa’s breath to catch. Yunho had never said something so suggestive, had never even done such a thing. Despite how much they kissed, their make-out sessions erred on the PG side, hands only roaming so far, lips only traveling so much. It was safe to say that Seonghwa had never felt Yunho’s lips below his jawline. 

“On my…?” Seonghwa repeated in a hushed tone, fingertips immediately skimming across the skin of his long neck. “H-how would you do that?” He questioned, feeling a sudden wave of nervousness as his cheeks grew hot. Simultaneously, there was the excitement of something new…of being good enough to be more for Yunho. 

“You have such a pretty neck, hyung. It’s begging to be marked with kisses,” Yunho explained, “I’d kiss it from your ear,” Seonghwa absentmindedly followed with his fingers, brushing right underneath his earlobe, “slowly down to your collarbone.” Closing his eyes, Seonghwa traced that path with the pads of his fingers, imagining it was Yunho’s lips ghosting there instead. More heat graced his body, this time pooling in his stomach. Oh, this was dangerous…until his fingers caught against soft fabric. 

“And what about my shirt?” Seonghwa breathed, itching to know what Yunho would do next, himself. 

“Take it off.” The way Yunho said it…sounded like a command. Not that he would take it off if he were there, but he was in fact telling Seonghwa to do it…and so he did. Placing the phone down, he stripped himself of the large t-shirt that had pooled around his upper body, and placed it next to him on the bed before picking his phone back up and laying back down. 

“You really know how to make a guy nervous,” Seonghwa joked, to try and ease the obvious tension in their call. A few moments went by where Yunho didn’t say anything, and Seonghwa wondered what he was thinking about.

“You make me nervous, too,” Yunho finally admitted, surprising Seonghwa. 

“I make you nervous?” he questions, repeating the words that had just come from his mouth, and he can almost picture Yunho’s shy smile as if he were right there in front of him. 

“These past few months, it’s felt like I’ve been reminding myself to breathe,” Yunho chuckles lowly, and Seonghwa feels the vibrations from it all throughout his body. Being honest, he had no idea he also had this sort of effect on Yunho, and while it comes with a confidence boost, the knowledge primarily sets hope into Seonghwa. Above all things, he wants Yunho - he wants a lifetime of his smile and his charm and his contagious laughter. 

“It’s kind of hard to breathe with your tongue down my throat, isn’t it?” Seonghwa teased. 

“Who cares? Breathing isn’t necessary as long as I get to swap spit with you,” Yunho purred, and Seonghwa has to close his eyes for a second to regain his bearings. Either Yunho has no idea what kind of effect he holds over him…or he knows all too well. 

“Ah, yes. I think I recall that from biology class,” Seonghwa finally agrees, and a silent moment passes between the two of them after a shared moment of laughter. 

“...did you take your shirt off?” Yunho questions, and Seonghwa can tell he’s nervous. Because he likes him so much, he decides to have mercy, and instead of teasing him, gives a small yes . 

“And where will you kiss me next now that my shirt is off, Yunho??” Seonghwa’s voice is breathy, eyes closed again as he leans his head back against the headboard. His fingers take their place at his collarbone, where Yunho’s metaphorical kisses had left off, eager to feel where his lips will go next. 

“I want to kiss you all over,” Yunho confesses sheepishly, and Seonghwa smiles slightly at the way his voice wavers. Yunho, for as large and sharp as he is, really is the sweetest little thing. The kindest man Seonghwa thinks he’s ever met. 

“You’re at my collarbone,” Seonghwa directs, and in all fairness, Yunho was the one that started this. 

“I’ll kiss down your chest,” Yunho finally says, and Seonghwa’s fingers follow, stopping at a pert bud to see if Yunho would dare acknowledge his nipples. “Do you have sensitive nipples? No, wait, don’t tell me. I’d like to find out for myself.” Seonghwa hums, not trusting his voice, because in his mind Yunho has now promised real intimacy with him, both of their bodies together - touching - not just talking about it over the phone.

“And how will you do that?” Seonghwa asks, pulling as much as he can out of the other. 

“Kissing them,” Yunho breaths out, “Sucking on them,” Seonghwa bites down on his lower lip as he scrapes his nail across the bud, letting out the softest moan accidentally, but before he can apologize Yunho is talking again, “-biting them.” The idea is planted firmly in his head now, and his cock twitches in interest. 

As it happens, Seonghwa has very sensitive nipples. 

“Then I want to kiss the soft skin below your belly button that always shows when you stretch. I want to kiss it, and drag my tongue across it, and make out with your belly button while I take your pants off.” Yunho is enthusiastic, and all Seonghwa can think about is his tongue all over his body as his fingers drag down the center of his torso to his belly button. He puts his finger in the hole, playing with it a little bit as he thinks about it. 

“And when do you plan to take off your clothes, too?” Seonghwa pouts, thinking Yunho is having all of the fun here. 

“Hwa…” Yunho whines, and it causes Seonghwa to giggle, “I haven’t had clothes on this entire time.” 

“Oh?” One of Seonghwa’s eyebrows raise. 

“I run really hot in my sleep so I can’t wear clothes to bed,” he explains, and Seonghwa is suddenly agitated that they haven’t had a sleepover yet. Additionally, he knows that Yunho wears briefs, and the mental image of the legs hugging Yunho's thighs has Seonghwa’s mouth watering. “Which means I can undress you, and you’ll also be warm as long as you stay close.” Seonghwa can’t decide if that was more sly or sweet, but the way his heart is palpitating suggests that it doesn’t really matter. 

“I’ll stay close,” Seonghwa agrees in a matter of nano-seconds, “I’ll do whatever you need me to do.” He’s unsure if he’s promising, begging, or what. Whatever Yunho wants him to be doing, he’ll do it. 

“Will you…” Yunho pauses for a second, and Seonghwa can hear him let out a deep breath. He wants to tell the other that he’s proud of him for being so brave and taking a step out of his comfort zone, but he figures that’s something he can do during a more appropriate time. “I want to touch myself while I’m on the phone with you. Will you do it with me?” 

Seonghwa isn’t entirely surprised - he figured that this was the direction the conversation was going in anyways. That doesn’t take away any of the excitement that he feels, and his thumb hooks into his waistband as he pushes down, eyes opening to watch his dick spring free and land with a thwop just below his belly button, leaving a small blob of pre-come against his naturally tan skin. “Yes.” 

There’s no hesitation before his answer, just willingness and equal amounts of need. 

He’s not shy as he presses his palm against the head, rubbing it around to help spread the pre before taking a slow fist down his shaft. “Just don’t be shy with me, Yunho-ah. I want to hear you, too.” 

Even in his mid-twenties, Seonghwa is pretty sure this is the first time he’s ever had phone sex. It’s one of those things he’d never paid much mind to, overlooking how titillating just the breaths of a lover could help pull him to the edge. Yunho’s moans were just as pretty as Seonghwa had imagined they’d be, and with the phone to his ear, it was easy to imagine him right there. Seonghwa didn’t hold back, either, letting his mewls and whines out freely, being a little louder than usual just to help Yunho feel more comfortable. It must have worked, because by the time Yunho came, it was very obvious and vocal. 

Just after they said their goodbyes and hung up, Seonghwa got a text notification - from Yunho. Opening it, he saw that it was a picture from Yunho, and he could feel the heat begin to pool in his stomach all over again. A POV photo of him holding his cock, still hard, red and swollen. But it was glossy, his come glazing the head and dripping down his hand. Seonghwa could help but stare at it for what felt like an eternity before he was taking a photo of his own mess. 

‘maybe we can make them kiss :*’

Seonghwa sent the text along with the image before cleaning up and pulling his clothes back on. Unlike Yunho, he did not run hot at night and clung to any source of warmth he possibly could. When he slid back into his sheets, he checked his phone for a reply, smiling at the screen as he read it. 

‘every part of my body wants to kiss every part of yours.’

It was the most Yunho thing that Yunho possibly could have said, but he still managed to add the cherry on top with an additional text. 

‘you’re beautiful, hyung’

***

It had been a couple of days since Seonghwa had heard from Yunho, despite the texts he’d sent. Not wanting to seem overbearing, he didn’t send out too many, giving the other room to breathe. Had they crossed a line? Did he make Yunho feel uncomfortable? Would that have been possible with the way that Yunho had led them into that, directly asking for it? Seonghwa also knew that Yunho had things like school and work to think about, so he tried not to stress himself over it too much. 

Instead, he waited for a day that he knew Yunho had off, and picked up two coffees on his way over that morning. After nervously ringing the doorbell, he stood there awkwardly in front of his door as he waited for Yunho to answer. Only a minute had passed before Yunho was opening the door, a look of confusion melting from his face and leaving something softer instead. He hadn’t said anything, just stood there as he stared at Seonghwa.

“Yunho?” he questioned, wondering if maybe he’d woken the other up, and began feeling a little bad for choosing to come over so early. Using his name seemed to have snapped him out of the trance, and he stood up a little taller.

“Sorry, I thought I was dreaming for a minute. Hwa, did you bring me coffee?” Seonghwa smiled brightly as he nodded, and he watched a light blush dance across Yunho’s face. “Oh, shit, sorry, come in,” he stepped aside, opening the door further for Seonghwa. He’d been here many times before, enough to be comfortable just showing up. Yunho grabbed the coffees from his hands as he slipped out of his shoes and jacket, making sure they were neatly put away before taking his own cup back.

“I’m just glad to see you’re not working yourself to actual death,” Seonghwa commented, a teasing lilt in his voice. He hadn’t been mad or hurt that he hadn’t heard from Yunho the past few days, and had truly been more concerned about his well-being. Giving the taller a once-over was when he noticed the small bruise on his cheek. Reaching up, he grasped Yunho’s chin to steady his head before leaning in to catch a closer look at it. Before he had a chance to ask, Yunho seemed to know where that conversation was headed and grasped onto Seonghwa’s wrist before turning his head away.

“I walked into the doorframe when I woke up to piss last night. Was stumbling around half asleep,” he laughed, “I was studying in my room just now, I have an upcoming exam. Come,” his grasp slid from Seonghwa’s wrist to intertwine with his fingers before tugging him off down the hallway. There was no denying the relief Seonghwa felt when Yunho seemed happy that he’d shown up, letting out a long breath he’d been holding.

“It sounds like an important exam. Do you want help studying?” Seonghwa questioned. It also wouldn’t have been the first time that he sat in Yunho’s room, going over study guide questions to make sure that the other was well-prepared. It really didn’t matter what they were doing, Seonghwa had always just been happy to spend time with the other, especially when he got to reward Yunho with tender kisses for getting his answers correct.

“Later. First I wanna take a break and hold you,” Yunho said, turning around to take Seonghwa’s cup and put both of them on the table next to his bed before pulling Seonghwa into his arms and nuzzling his face into his neck. “Missed you.”

“You missed me?” Seonghwa questioned, the smile in his voice, even. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Yunho reiterated, pulling him onto the bed so that they were cuddled up together.

“Then I guess I should be honored if that big, beautiful brain was full of thoughts of me,” Seonghwa hummed sweetly, and Yunho rolled them around rather quickly so that he was looming over him as Seonghwa was flat on his back. He’d pulled away enough to look down at Seonghwa for a moment as if he were determining whether Seonghwa was real or not. Seonghwa, not having a clue what was going on in Yunho’s head, cupped his jaw with both hands as he softly caressed his cheeks with his thumbs. “I missed you, too.”

“You’re not mad I didn’t reach out?” Yunho almost seemed confused, and that’s what confused Seonghwa.

“I figured you had your reasons, but I was concerned that something wasn’t okay,” he answered honestly, “like maybe you were stressed out from work and school, that you weren’t taking care of yourself.” He explained, thumb brushing over the bruise on Yunho’s cheek. 

“Did you think I had regrets about our last phone call?” Yunho’s questioning wasn’t surprising to Seonghwa - he often asked these types of questions as if he was gathering answers for a satisfaction survey. Sometimes it seemed like he even expected the worst answers. Seonghwa hummed in thought, taking his time to look up at the other. 

“I decided to think that wasn’t the case,” he smiled, “I still rate the service five stars. Are you going to kiss me now?” Seonghwa teased, legs wrapping around Yunho’s waist. Yunho seemed to catch onto the joke and pout.

“Is that five stars out of five, or out of ten?” he questioned for clarification, and Seonghwa snorted as he pressed his hand onto Yunho’s face and pushed him away. 

“Out of a hundred,” Seonghwa claimed flatly, earning a giggle from the other, who had returned just as quick as he’d been pushed away. 

“I guess I owe remedial services then,” his voice had dropped to something low and husky before he finally closed their distance, threading their lips together. Seonghwa was happy to accept him, arms wrapping around his shoulders and fingers threaded into the locks of his hair, keeping him close. It had started off as something slow and sweet, yet quickly morphed into something much more than that. Yunho had coaxed Seonghwa’s lips apart, licking into his mouth as he gripped at his waist. The pressure pulled a moan out of the smaller, and almost as if by reflex, Yunho rutted into him, earning a shared groan between them both. Yunho pulled away to look down at Seonghwa, both of their breaths heavy.

Just as he was about to lean in for another kiss, the sound of the front door of Yunho’s apartment opening had caught both of their attentions, their heads snapping towards that direction. As far as Seonghwa knew, Yunho had lived alone, so he was confused about the intrusion. Yunho, on the other hand, seemed to be less confused and more annoyed.

“Shit,” he hissed, sitting up and pulling Seonghwa up as well. “I’m so sorry about this, Hwa. Come on,” he practically picked him up, taking him into the bathroom connected to the room and pulled the door closed just to the point where it was cracked. Yunho quickly returned to his bed, phone in hand, right before his bedroom door had been violently opened. 

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours , thinking you’ve been sleeping, but here you are playing on the damn thing,” it was a woman. A very angry woman, and Seonghwa wondered just what business this woman had being so mad at Yunho. Was it an older sister? His mother perhaps? But…she sounded so young. 

“I’ve been studying, Rina. I just picked my phone up, was just gonna respond to you,” Yunho answered. He seemed…nervous, almost. Seonghwa leaned closer to the door to try and capture a glimpse through the crack to see what was going on. If this was an older sister or his mom, then why was he begging hidden? Then he remembered that Yunho had done virtually zilch with a man before, was exploring his sexuality, and perhaps just hadn’t been ready to come out just yet. 

The girl snorted - not in the way Seonghwa would. Something more malicious and terrible, “What’s the point in studying? You’ll never amount to anything, barely passing these classes. You’re already stupid, now you’re delusional, too?” Seonghwa’s eyebrows shot together, mouth opening, immediately frustrated with this woman. “You’re going to work for my father and be an obedient little house-husband.” 

“Husband?” Yunho questioned, and Seonghwa finally caught a glimpse of him through the crack in the door. He wasn’t sure if Yunho looked more confused or horrified. “Who said anything about marriage?” This girl - Rina - leaned down over him, menacingly looming as she carded her fingers through his hair and grasped it tightly, yanking his head back to look up at her properly. 

“We’ve been dating for almost ten years, Yunho. Everything you have, everything your family has, is because of my father,” Seonghwa nearly gasped, hand flying up to his mouth to cover the sound. Yunho had a girlfriend this whole time? Had been using Seonghwa to cheat on her. The shock of that information didn’t last long as the realization settled in that this was how Yunho had been treated by such a long time girlfriend. And that bruise… “Do you think you’ll be able to get away with this half-assed relationship forever? I’ve noticed the way you don’t even get hard, anymore. It’s been years since you’ve properly fucked me. Marriage? That’s the least you owe me…not that you’d be doing me any favors. You should consider yourself lucky, because you’re nothing without me.”

Seonghwa watched as Yunho clenched his jaw, and could see the way his chin began to tremble. How could he help without making things worse for him? 

Finally, Rina seemed to notice something on the bedside table.

“Two cups of coffee?” she questioned, and a look of panic flashed through Yunho’s eyes. Without thinking, Seonghwa quickly flushed the toilet, then took the time to wash his hands before leaving the bathroom. The look of terror didn’t leave Yunho’s face when Seonghwa emerged, and Rina looked, well, surprised. 

“Sorry,” Seonghwa bowed slightly, “One of those is mine. Yunho-ah and I’ve been studying for an upcoming exam since early this morning. I think the caffeine’s the only thing keeping me going, but it’s also running right through me,” he smiled awkwardly. “Sorry to interrupt…I should leave,” Seonghwa bowed again.

Rina clenched her jaw as she studied Seonghwa. 

“You’re one of Yunho’s classmates?” she questioned for clarification and Seonghwa nodded. “You look like you go to that school,” she snorted. “Don’t bother, I’m leaving.” Without any goodbye, she strode from the room, and Seonghwa and Yunho remained still until they heard the slamming of the front door. For extra caution, Seonghwa padded out to the front door, looking through the window to watch as she climbed into an expensive sports car - Seonghwa wouldn’t be able to determine which type - and speed off.

Relieved that she’d left, Seonghwa rushed back to the bedroom and climbed in next to Yunho, who hadn’t moved at all. Without giving himself time to think about what was best, his arms were wrapped around Yunho, pushing his head into his shoulder. His fingers trailed through his hair as he soothed him, and he chanced a couple of kisses to the nape of his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” Yunho muttered, voice muffled by Seonghwa’s covered shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa cooed, and Yunho shook his head immediately. 

“I lied to you,” he reminded Seonghwa, pulling away and looking at Seonghwa with eyes full of tears. “Why aren’t you pissed off?” 

“You did lie to me, and I was shocked,” Seonghwa agreed, “But I’m not stupid, Yunho-ah. I can put two and two together.” His eyes flashed to the bruise on Yunho’s cheek again, and he seemed to notice before turning his face to hide it. Seonghwa wasn’t having any of it, so he guided Yunho to look at him again. “She seems absolutely awful. You’re…you’re stuck, aren’t you?” he questioned, not doubting that anybody would fail to be with somebody like that by choice. Yunho gave a small nod, eyes still full of sadness, and Seonghwa’s pout deepend before he pulled the younger back into his arms. “We can talk about the lying later, that’s not what’s important.” He gave another few comforting kisses to Yunho’s neck. “You’re not stupid. I’m so proud of you for how much work you put into school, and any work field will be lucky to have you, when you decide what you want to do.”

“I don’t deserve you, Hwa,” despite his words, Yunho nuzzled further into Seonghwa, arms wrapping around him. Seonghwa gave a playful swat to his shoulder to show his disapproval, and then rubbed out the area gently. 

“No, she doesn’t deserve you. I can’t imagine all of the terrible treatment you’re used to now,” another realization had hit Seonghwa; that’s why he always seemed so surprised. Why he always gave those little surveys, collecting information and always gauging Seonghwa’s reaction. “There are so many amazing things about you. I’ve always felt lucky to have gotten anything, even just your attention.” Yunho let out a noise that sounded like a laugh before pulling away. Though, he grasped one of Seonghwa’s hands, holding his palm to his cheek and leaning into it. 

“I spend every moment wishing it was just you. That…that would make me happy in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before.” Seonghwa knew he should be mad - this entire time, Yunho had been lying to him, but he couldn’t help but sympathize after hearing the way she spoke to him. Instead of feeling anger, he just wanted to protect the man that was soft and kind and full of love. 

Love. 

Something the other clearly hadn’t properly been receiving. 

Leave it to the hopeless romantic to want to be the one to show him what it felt like to be on the receiving end of love that was so unconditional that you could drown in it.

“Right now, it is just me. Just you and me,” he reminded Yunho as they held each other in the apartment that was once again just the two of them. “I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.” Yunho pulled away for the last time, observing Seonghwa’s emotions the way that he always did before leaning in to give him the most saccharine kiss, hand sliding into place along his neck with fingers splayed behind his ear. This time, it had been Seonghwa that deepend it, climbing into Yunho’s lap as he pushed him to lay back, and following close behind. 

Yunho’s hands took their place on Seonghwa’s hips, gripping and squeezing, and Seonghwa whined into the kiss, and the other was once again rutting up into him. Interesting, the way Rina had accused him of not getting hard for her - not for years. Clearly, Seonghwa had earned a different reaction from Yunho, who sat thick and hard underneath him. Needy as his hands slid underneath Seonghwa’s shirt to grip onto his waist. “Hwa~” 

“Let me take care of you,” Seonghwa breathed out against Yunho’s lips. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Yunho whined, chasing for more kisses. 

“I want to,” Seonghwa countered, pressing back against Yunho to create some friction against the other’s cock. “I’ll take it slow, we won’t go all the way,” he promised, though somehow he didn’t feel like that was Yunho’s concern. 

Seonghwa knew Yunho felt an unbelievable amount of guilt. 

“It’s okay,” he said softly, doing it again and earning a soft moan from the man beneath him. This…this was dangerous. It was a noise that Seonghwa could get addicted to; soft and beautiful and delicate. Seonghwa did it again and again, creating friction just to hear more of the sound. 

“Yes, okay, yes. Please, Hwa,” Yunho began, now moving Seonghwa’s hips down further to increase the pressure. 

“Just trust me,” Seonghwa said, giving Yunho a final kiss, “I got you.” Climbing off of Yunho, he kneeled between his legs off the side of his bed, reaching for the waistband of Yunho’s sweats and pulling them down his legs and exposing his muscular thighs and swollen, leaking cock. “You poor thing,” Seonghwa cooed, turning his head to press a few kisses onto the inside of his thigh, working his way up. Yunho had situated himself to sit up, resting on his elbows as he was transfixed on everything that Seonghwa did. Seonghwa gave a couple of soft nips to the sensitive skin, earning a few twitches of the leg before Yunho spread himself out a little more. Leaning forward, Seonghwa hooked his arms under Yunho’s thighs before nuzzling into his sack, pressing a few kisses to the wrinkled skin before taking it into his mouth. 

The moan that left Yunho’s mouth was obscene and beautiful all at once. It had Seonghwa sucking on his balls as he massaged his tongue into them, swirling around them and prodding them. He pulled back to redirect his tongue towards the smooth skin underneath it, and could feel Yunho’s legs tense up, but he didn’t complain. Seonghwa dug his tongue into the area, sliding it up and down before taking half his sack back in his mouth. He sucked and massaged it as his mouth filled up with spit, and switched sides to take care of the other side. By now, Yunho had a tight grasp of Yunho’s hair, mewling and groaning above as Seonghwa gave him so much attention.

It wasn’t until Yunho’s thighs were shaking that Seonghwa pulled off again, and pressed his tongue flat to the underside of Yunho’s shaft, licking a bold, thick stripe up to the tip and taking it into his mouth. Seonghwa sucked at the slit before digging out any pre-come that had remained, swirling his tongue around and sucking at it until his cheeks hollowed out. It had Yunho yelling out, head falling backwards as if he were too weak to keep himself up. 

Seonghwa pressed Yunho’s cockhead into the side of his cheek, rubbing it against the soft skin on one side until twitching it to the otherside, providing no warning before he plunged it towards the back of his throat. Yunho’s entire body reacted, legs tightening around Seonghwa’s body, back arching as his grip tightened and pulled at Seonghwa’s strands a little more roughly. “Please, hyung,” Yunho whined, panting from where he sat. Giving a little mercy, Seonghwa’s head bobbed up and down on Yunho’s cock, drool pooling on the outside corners of his mouth as tears built up in his eyes. Eager to help, Yunho used his grip to guide Seonghwa’s head, eventually holding it with two hands as he started to thrust up into Seonghwa's mouth. 

He kept his own hands on Yunho’s thighs, rubbing loving circles into his skin with his thumbs to let him know that this was okay. That Seonghwa was okay. Yunho had obviously lost himself as he thrusted, holding Seonghwa down as he took in all of Yunho’s cock, nose pressed against the base. “You’re fucking amazing, Hwa,” he mewled, and Seonghwa smiled up at him with deep brown eyes that sparkled from happiness. “So fucking good all the time. So kind and perfect,” his praises were in beat with his thrusts, and Seonghwa’s eyes began rolling to the back of his head, finding his own pleasure in being used like this. 

Seonghwa eventually pulled off again with a wet shuck , ropes of spit and pre-come connecting Yunho’s cock to Seonghwa’s swollen lips. “Come down my throat,” he instructed, and it was as if Yunho’s eyes had instantly glazed over, nodding his head lightly as he guided Seonghwa’s mouth back to his cock. Flattening out his tongue, he opened up his throat as Yunho let go again, fucking up into his warm and moist cavern before holding him down once again and pouring hot seed down Seonghwa’s abused throat.

After swallowing everything, Seonghwa pulled off, a grin on his face as he used the back of his hand to wipe away the spit. Yunho sat there, breathing heavily as he regarded Seonghwa closely as the older stood up. His own cock was hard, evident through his pants, and Yunho’s eyes snapped to it, reaching for Seonghwa’s hips to pull him closer. “Now let me help you.”

Pressing Yunho back down, hand in the center of his chest, Seonghwa climbed on top of him, both legs straddling one of his thighs. “Next time,” Seonghwa promised with a raspy voice, leaning down to kiss Yunho as he began to drag his clothed cock against Yunho’s thigh, creating enough friction that had Seonghwa coming in his own pants just within a couple of seconds. His own chest heaved as he collapsed on top of Yunho, not even considering the mess he’d just made of his clothes, and hiding in Yunho’s neck.

Large hands reached for him, pulling him close before he was enveloped in a pair of strong arms. “Thank you for staying,” Yunho whispered. “I don’t know how I would have coped watching you walk away.” 

“I’m not sure my legs would have let me,” Seonghwa admitted. 

“I meant what I said,” Yunho’s breathing was starting to even out, “You are truly the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You deserve so much better than what I have to offer.” Seonghwa pursed his lips, hating the way his stomach dropped just a little bit. He could wait this out, there was no way that that relationship would last forever. He could wait. He would wait.

“I want you, Yunho.” It was said with confidence, and determination. Even if Yunho understood what Seonghwa was implying, he didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything to take away the hope that he held that one day, it would be him. 

***

There was only one proper way to celebrate getting a good score on an important exam, and Seonghwa swore up and down that it was a little vacation in the mountains. Under the guise of visiting his grandparents that lived out in the country, Yunho joined Seonghwa to stay the weekend in a cabin nestled away between the thick collection of trees on the side of the mountain. An incredible view came along with it, overlooking more of the forest, and off in the distance were the heavy lights of Seoul. Even farther, the coast of the Korean peninsula. It was a small but modern set up with a cozy living space, a large and soft bed, an outdoors hot-tub, large bath and full kitchen which the two had brought enough food for the entirety of their trip. 

Seonghwa and Yunho had barely managed to get past the front door before they were making out on the couch, even less able to keep their hands off of each other than the day Seonghwa found out about Yunho’s girlfriend. 

Since then, it had also become more evident to Seonghwa when Yunho had gotten chewed out by Rina, his mood down and somber. Now that the truth was out, he had hidden it a lot less, and didn't worry about pretending to be happy when he wasn’t. Somehow, Seonghwa was always able to make it better. He didn’t care what he had to do, he just wanted to see Yunho smile. Truly smile. Seonghwa didn’t do anything entirely too special, nothing that he wasn’t already doing. He just did it with less shame, less shyness

Everything had been perfect since they had arrived. After putting their stuff away, they took the time to make dinner together, listening to music as they prepared their food, and dancing around the kitchen. Seonghwa felt like his heart might explode from his chest from how hard it was beating; there was no longer any ability to hide from the depths of his feelings for the other. It was clear to him how important Yunho had become to him these past few months since they’d met, but it wasn’t clear to him how to voice it. Would it even be okay to tell Yunho? They weren’t in a relationship, and while Seonghwa wasn’t really sure he knew what it was, he did know what it wasn’t. 

But the way that Yunho placed his hand on the small of Seonghwa’s back as he led them in their little slow dance, the way he whispered to Seonghwa how beautiful he looked as the light from the sunset shone through the windows of their cabin…it did strange things to his heart. Seonghwa was no longer deluding himself into thinking that this would develop into something serious, but was convincing himself that it wasn’t what it so plainly was. Yunho had him caged between his arms and the counter as he leaned in and kissed him, each time like it was both the first and the last, when the timer went off for their food. 

Dinner was quiet, sans the music. 

While they didn’t put much effort into talking, they held each other’s gazes, taking in one another as they ate. Taking turns making the other blush and hide their face behind their hands. Cleaning up after wasn’t as quiet as they shared jokes and laughter, Yunho becoming handsier, pressing kisses into Seonghwa’s neck as he stood behind him as the older washed the last of the dishes. 

This must be what it’s like to be a newlywed couple on a honeymoon. 

Before retiring for the night, Seonghwa pulled Yunho out to the deck to lay on the patio bed, under the stars. It was a little chilly, but Yunho lent him all of his warmth, tucked away in his arms. As he looked up at the sky, all Seonghwa could think about was all of the galaxies and all of the planets that existed. All of the other forms of life that weren’t only on this planet but in the entire universe - and he and Yunho had found each other. They had fit together so perfectly, that it couldn’t possibly be a coincidence. 

This was fate. 

Not a storybook version of fate, not love at first sight. 

This was a love that was meant to be, but time favored them, allowing Seonghwa to fall so hard and deeply, and despite the extenuating circumstances, Yunho had held his heart so gently. It couldn’t be one-sided, could it? 

“I think I love you.” 

The words left his mouth before the thought of saying them had even crossed his mind. Yunho had been frozen behind him, and for a moment, Seonghwa had even thought that he’d fallen asleep. Maybe that was for the best; Seonghwa got it out of his system only to fall on deaf ears. Except, it was clear that Yunho hadn’t fallen asleep as he started shifting Seonghwa to turn around so that Yunho could lean over him and look down into his eyes. It was as if Yunho was waiting for Seonghwa to take it back, or follow it up with something negative. But there was nothing to add. 

It was simple. 

Seonghwa was in love with him. 

Yunho seemed to catch on, and gave the sweetest smile before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. It wasn’t a response with words, but Seonghwa could still feel it. In some capacity, he held a part of Yunho’s heart as well. And at the end of the day, Yunho knew that he was loved, which was the most important thing to Seonghwa. 

Arms slid underneath his knees and back, and Seonghwa was lifted off of the rigid patio bed, and carried into the warm inside. His hands wrapped around Yunho’s shoulders, not wasting any of their time and kissing him the entirety of the way. After stumbling around a bit, Yunho had lowered him onto the bed that they’d share for the vacation - starting now, it seemed. Yunho crawled in after him, situating himself between Seonghwa’s thighs before dipping down to press a kiss to his throat and trailing it up towards his jaw, then bridged over to his mouth when he molded down onto the other. A hand snuck its way underneath Seonghwa’s shirt, slowly skimming up his side until Seonghwa could feel a thumb brushing against his nipple before adding more pressure. A breathy moan infiltrated their kiss, and Yunho rolled his hips into Seonghwa’s crotch, earning another one. 

“You sound so pretty, hyung,” Yunho whispered as he kissed next to Seonghwa’s ear, who was still clutching onto him tightly. Their kissing continued, only interrupted as Yunho pushed Seonghwa’s shirt over his head, taking a moment to stare down at him. Yunho had seen him naked a handful of times already, either through pictures or in person as they fooled around - though they’d never gone all the way. 

As Yunho continued to look, Seonghwa took it upon himself to reach for the bottom hem of his shirt, and began pulling it over his head so that they could both be equal. This seemed to ignite something more in Yunho, who continued staring down at Seonghwa as he began working the buttons on his pants. Lowering himself back down, this time to Seonghwa’s neck, he kissed his way down until he was lapping at a nipple, going back and forth between biting it and sucking it before he began to kiss further down Seonghwa’s body. Seonghwa hoisted himself up onto his elbows so he could watch Yunho lick into his navel, biting there, too, as he pulled Seonghwa’s pants off of his legs. This hadn’t been the first time Yunho had been down there, having grown quiet the hunger for giving head…but everything felt different. 

This time, Yunho didn’t seem very interested in Seonghwa’s cock, aside from a couple of pecks down the shaft, leaving it hard, leaking and neglected. Instead, his hands pressed Seonghwa’s thighs up and out, leaving him exposed completely. Seonghwa’s eyes followed as Yunho’s hand dipped down, fingers brushing against his hole, receiving a reactionary tightening of the muscle. As he observed the other, Seonghwa bit down on his lower lip, eyes sparkling as he waited for whatever it was Yunho wanted to do. When he watched Yunho crouch down next to the bed and dip his head in between his legs, he let out a gasp, followed by a mewl when he felt tongue against his entrance.

Yunho’s fingers were digging into the meaty swells of his ass, pulling the cheeks apart as he flattened his tongue and lapped up the area before leaning back to spit against it, pressing his tongue in and fucking his hole with it. The fact that it was Yunho between his legs was enough to elicit a hearty moan from him, causing him to drop back down on the bed, hand reaching down to fist Yunho’s strands. “H-how did you get so good at that?” Seonghwa whined, his free hand grasping the sheets below him. Yunho’s head popped up, once again looming over him with a boyish grin on his face.

“I’ve been watching a lot of porn,” he admitted, leaning in for a kiss as his finger began applying pressure to the hole, the tip just barely dipping inside of it. “I pretend it’s us when I watch it,” Yunho claimed once he pulled back, and Seonghwa could see the way his ears turned red. “Wanted to know how to touch you right.” 

Pulling his finger out, Yunho got off the bed and walked over to the bedside table where he’d put some of his items, producing a bottle of unused lube. Seonghwa waited as Yunho struggled with the plastic on it, eventually using his teeth to rip it open, and left the trash on the tabletop before returning to him.

“You planned this,” Seonghwa teased. 

“I’ve been waiting for the right moment,” Yunho corrected sheepishly, “I bought this after the phone sex.” Repositioning himself between Seonghwa’s legs, he squeezed a generous amount of the thick lubricant down Seonghwa’s crack, and threw the closed bottle on the bed before his fingers started massaging the ring again. His lips returned to Seonghwa’s as he pressed a digit inside, slow and tentative, exploring the area. He’d pressed the pad of his finger up, letting it slide against Seonghwa’s walls until he’d found the spot that had him twitching and moaning. “Found it,” he purred as their lips were still connected, now kneading into it.

“You’re cruel,” Seonghwa whispered between groans, and Yunho’s finger disappeared from the spot as he slipped a second one in. Yunho took his time, making sure that Seonghwa was relaxed and opened up - and if he didn’t know any better, he’d think that Yunho was an expert at this. “One star.” 

“That’s just mean,” Yunho’s voice was breathy now, his face pulled away just enough to watch Seonghwa become undone below him. He hooked his fingers up, pressing against Seonghwa’s prostate again, and earning a strange noise mixed between a cry and a whine. “Do you think you could take me, hyung?” Yunho asked, returning to a more innocent tone, “You know how big I am,” he said, pressing kissing to the column of Seonghwa’s neck as he slipped a third finger in. Seonghwa’s thighs started trembling, toes curled, energy building up in his body and flowing out in loud moans. 

“Please, Yu,” Seonghwa begged, grasping Yunho’s hair and guiding him to his lips, desperate to kiss him. Yunho deepened the kiss, slipping his fingers out of Seonghwa as he began working on his own pants, kicking them off before climbing in between Seonghwa’s legs. Something guttural left the older’s mouth as he felt Yunho’s cock slide against his own, and he wrapped his legs around Yunho’s waist, pulling him in closer and causing more friction between their two shafts. The new pressure came with one of Yunho’s sweet moans, which Seonghwa happily swallowed up. 

Yunho kissed harder as he reached down to grab his shaft, resituating himself so that the tip of his cock pressed to Seonghwa’s entrance, pausing as he waited for the okay. There was no hesitation as Seonghwa nodded, pulling Yunho closer so that they could continue their mind-numbing kiss as he slowly began to press in further. Relaxing his body, Seonghwa welcomed the thickness, groaning the more he was filled up. “Don’t stop,” he begged, his grip tightening in Yunho’s hair. After an understanding nod, Yunho pushed the rest of the way in, not stopping to let Seonghwa adjust just as he’d been asked. However, he kept his thrusts slow and long, moving from hilt to tip each time. That motion alone was going to be enough to drive Seonghwa crazy, and it only increased along with Yunho’s pace. 

There was no doubt in Seonghwa’s mind - this was what it felt like to be made love to. He’d had plenty of sex before this, many partners before Yunho, but it had never felt like this before. Like an equal amount of give and take surging between them, sharing the same type of devotion and care, the same breath. 

When Yunho pulled out, Seonghwa whined, and Yunho chuckled lowly as he gave Seonghwa another kiss. Grasping him by the hips, he turned Seonghwa over, pulling his hips up so that his ass was pressing into Yunho’s crotch. Seonghwa figured Yunho would slip right back in, but instead, he could feel the tender brush of fingertips along his lower back, traveling up his spine. Looking back, he gave Yunho a quizzical look. “Everything okay?” 

Yunho’s eyes moved to Seonghwa’s as his hand wrapped around his side. “You’re just so beautiful, it takes my breath away sometimes.” Seonghwa wanted to tease him for being corny - and in his defense, he was - but he admittedly loved the way he would say things like that. Compliment Seonghwa so seriously as if nobody had told him a single nice thing before. 

“Is that how you feel about me?” Seonghwa questioned, with no trace of humor, showing a more vulnerable side of himself. Yunho nodded slowly, and Seonghwa lowered his shoulder down to rest on the bed, causing his ass to spread more. “Show me.” With a smile, one that Seonghwa almost could have mistaken for sad, he leaned down to press a kiss on the swell of his ass before plunging back into him. This time, he was much more relentless as he gripped onto Seonghwa, his pace fast, his thrusts deep and causing Seonghwa to collapse down onto the bed. It was with Yunho’s weight on his back, his arm snaking under Seonghwa’s armpit to intertwine their fingers on one side, and his lips pressing kisses against his ear on the other as he whispered how beautiful and pretty and amazing he was, that Seonghwa came. He could feel the hot, stickiness between the bedsheet and his stomach, and it wasn’t long until he could feel himself full of the same substance. 

Probably the most considerate lover Seonghwa had ever had, Yunho didn’t remain on top of him. Instead, he rolled off to the side, pulling Seonghwa with him so he could curl up behind him. 

“Ten stars.” 

“Out of ten?” 

“Out of ten.” 

Jeong Yunho

Yunho clearly remembers the first time he ever saw Park Seonghwa’s lips. They were thick, and lush, and made the prettiest shapes whenever he spoke. Never before had he looked at a man’s lips this way, thinking about how it would feel to touch them, to kiss them, or do any of the other things he’d completely lost interest in with Rina. Trying to be fair with himself, he’d chalked up his loss of attraction to her to being the awful person that she was. Furthermore, so hopelessly depressed from the state of mind she constantly had him in that he wasn’t in the headspace to see anybody else that way, either. 

Until Seonghwa happened. 

Across the street from the bookstore was a small cafe, where Yunho sat at a table outside sipping on his latte when he’d looked up at the sky to see that the weather was shifting. It was that moment when Seonghwa had stepped out of his shop to sweet up the leaves from the front door - an uphill battle that he didn’t seem to give up, and something clearly admirable about him. Without any hesitation, Yunho had finished his latte and wandered his way into the bookstore for a book that he didn’t need, one he’d never heard of. After helping Seonghwa with a book he was fumbling to get onto the top shelf was when he was officially hooked; not an obsession, but a clear fascination. 

Seonghwa was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen in his life, man or woman. 

It was decided that this man was his fate when he’d showed up at Hongjoong’s moving away party, even more so when the other kissed him. All of these things that were supposed to feel wrong , felt so perfect in his hands, it almost had Yunho wanting to run away with the other and never look back. Escaping reality wasn’t much of an option, though, so he settled for sneaking around under the nose of his usually absent, and quite unpleasant long time girlfriend. 

Probably not the type of man to make the smartest decisions, he did know what could happen should he leave her, most of those things having to do with his father losing his job. Rina’s father, in retrospect, had done so much for his family. Giving his father status, a good job with a steady paycheck, had helped his parents maintain a comfortable life. Yunho had truly been grateful for him, but Rina was his princess, absolutely had the man wrapped around her finger. The moment Yunho did something to upset her…there was no telling what could happen. Up till now, he’d always figured it was best not to find out. 

Then things started to change. 

Seonghwa was…

Seonghwa was everything. 

Questions started floating around in his head; was he falling in love?; was this who he was meant to be with?; would it really be that bad to face the consequences of leaving Rina if that meant he could be with Seonghwa?; was coming out as not straight really the end of the world?

Because on top of the fear of Rina’s father, Yunho still wasn’t sure if he was ready to share this side of himself with the world, still not the most confident in how his friends and family would perceive him. But when Seonghwa looked at him with those large brown eyes, he figured that everything would be okay as long as he got to come home to this form of care, kindness, and affection. 

Yunho waited too long. 

Rina found out about them while they were away at the cabin, so he had returned from the happiest he thinks he’s ever been to the most heartbreaking ultimatum. So now, he finds himself seated in his car outside of Seonghwa’s place, sunglasses propped up on the bridge of his nose, waiting for the man of his dreams to come down and join him. When Seonghwa slides into the passenger seat, he has a large smile on his face despite the days of unwarranted radio silence, and there’s an audible crack in Yunho’s heart knowing he won’t have that beautiful smile on his face when he gets back out. 

Seonghwa gives him the most peculiar look when Yunho doesn’t go out of his way to kiss his cheek like usual. Instead, he’s just sitting there, fighting with the words he doesn’t want to say but thinks that he has to. 

“You look hungover,” Seonghwa claims, resting back into the seat as he continues to examine Yunho. Yunho doesn’t drink, but he thinks that he could really use one right about now. 

“Just tired,” Yunho lies, his voice soft. 

“No,” Seonghwa argues, “You are whiny and clingy when you’re tired, but you haven’t even looked at me.” It hurts that Seonghwa knows that about him, that he’s observed all of these little things so carefully to the point where Yunho is nothing more than an open book. This is where he belongs, who he’s meant to be with. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” 

There’s a long pause, and Yunho thinks he hates himself more with each second that passes. 

“She found out,” the words feel bitter on his tongue. “She said if I don’t break it off, she’ll have my father fired and any future job prospects ruined. And she’d…she’d out me. To everybody.” Yunho says the last thing quietly, having kept that inner struggle to himself mostly. Until now. He finally gets the nerve to look over at Seonghwa through the corner of his eye, and he sees the other staring at the dashboard - he’s holding back tears. Yunho has also observed Seonghwa closely throughout their time together, and can read him like a book. 

“I’m sure that she couldn’t truly ruin his prospects,” he figures out loud, “and…coming out is scary. It should be something you do on your own terms, but would it really be so bad-” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

It’s clear Seonghwa disagrees with the way he whips his entire body to face Yunho, and an incredulous look on his face. “It is that simple. Choose me. Pick me. I have been here the whole time, patiently waiting for you to find your out. I'm still willing to wait if it means you come back to me.” Yunho hates how easily Seonghwa is really willing to give up parts of himself for him, but he loves it at the same time. This was unconditional love. Until Seonghwa, Yunho didn’t believe it actually existed, but now he had a never-ending flow of it from this very man. 

And now he doesn’t feel like he even deserves it. 

“I want to,” Yunho says softly, his own bottom lip quivering, “But…”

Yunho opens his mouth to argue further, but Seonghwa catches his chin. At first there’s a reflex to flinch, not that Seonghwa has ever done something to harm him, but because of the hands-on lectures he’s received from Rina. Seonghwa himself seems shocked by this, and urges Yunho to look at him before pulling off the dark sunglasses and revealing the deep bruise that’s settled around his eye and cheek. His eyes dropped to look anywhere else, because he hadn’t wanted to face Seonghwa like this. 

“She welcomed me home with a wine bottle to the face,” he explains, voice so low it’s nearly a whisper. 

Seonghwa retracts his hand and, for the first time, Yunho cannot decipher what he might be thinking or feeling. If he’s being honest with himself, this is usually the part where Seonghwa collects him like a pathetic bundle in his arms and puts his pieces back together with love. Kindness that he didn’t deserve. He’d done so much for Yunho, but here he is, taking the coward’s way out. 

He just…can’t get that picture of his father’s unfiltered disappointment out of his head. 

“So, you’d rather risk getting beaten to death than not being able to add ‘straight’ to your social resume?” Seonghwa questions, and now his eyes are flooding with tears. “I told you that I loved you,” he squeaks, hand coming up to cover his mouth as tears spill down his face. When Yunho blinks, he can feel his own tears falling, his vision clearing up for a second. He hadn’t even known they were building up. “I’m such an idiot. I-I thought you made love to me, and that’s why you didn’t say it back.” 

It hurts because…that’s exactly what Yunho had done. There was no doubt that he was hopelessly in love with the other, but he didn’t feel like he deserved to say it. Not with Rina’s existence looming over their heads. So he’d shown Seonghwa how much he loved him - or at least he thought he had.

Even now, he doesn’t say anything to correct Seonghwa, because he has to let him go. 

Seonghwa continues to look at him for a long moment, pain evident all over his face, and all Yunho wants to do is reach out and take him into his arms. Take back everything they’d just said and risk Rina’s wrath. 

“I don’t…” Seonghwa uses his palms to wipe away his tears, and Yunho has his hands fisted so tightly in his jacket pockets that he can feel the skin breaking where his nails are digging in, “I don’t want to hear from you again.” It’s a twist of the knife in his gut, but he nods in understanding as Seonghwa gets out without another word. 

Yunho doesn’t even remember the drive back home, but the moment he returns to his empty apartment full of memories - nights huddled up on the couch watching movies, meals messily made in the kitchen, falling asleep together while reading - he weeps. 

***

A couple of weeks have gone by, the bruise on Yunho’s face healed, and yet his heart is still as much of a mess as it was that day where Seonghwa told him not to reach out again. Yunho had respected those wishes, not attempting to text or call, not showing up at his home or his work. In fact, he had avoided that street altogether. And just about any other place they’d gone together often because his heart just can’t take it.

Now, he sits at lunch with Rina and both of their sets of parents. Yunho absently moves the food around on his plate with his chopsticks, mind on those beautiful lips, but the image is tainted with those sparkling eyes crying. Unlike the kindness he’d been affording, he can’t make it better. At least…he couldn’t. Not at that moment. Nothing seemed scarier than the disappointing looks of his parents in Rina’s aftermath, putting his father out of a job,and  his sexuality coming out. What Yunho had realized these past few weeks was that nothing could be worse than the Seonghwa sized hole in his heart. No pain or fear came close, and as he sits here, he edges a mental breakdown because this was the life he’s subjected to.

All while their fathers are discussing work. 

Yunho noticed that his father seemed tense; he’s usually this way around Rina’s parents, but now he seems more on edge than normal. His mother usually didn’t like to come to these things, either, but today she was particularly insistent that they don’t come. It’s weird, but Yunho has a lot on his mind as well, so he isn’t able to think too much about it. 

“Yunho?” he can hear Rina’s father call out his name as if he’d been talking to him this whole time - if he was, Yunho hadn’t heard a single thing. 

“Sir?” Yunho questions, putting his utensils down and sitting up more right in his chair. 

“How’s school going?” he questions - another investment that he’d put into Yunho’s future. It had been on the man’s recommendation that Yunho had received the full scholarship - ironic that Rina had consistently put him down for working so hard towards good grades. 

“Good, sir,” Yunho mentions, hands fumbling together in his lap now that the attention is on him. 

“You’re, what? A year away from graduation now?” Yunho nods; he has a few semesters left and then he’s done. “Ah, good. Then you can join the company and marry my daughter,” he mentions confidently, as if that’s been the plan all along. Perhaps for Rina and her family, it had been. Maybe at some point, that was the plan for Yunho, too, despite that there had been no discussion about it. 

The thought of watching Rina walk down the aisle to him, to join their lives together permanently and legally…well, it is devastating, and it breaks something with Yunho. What does he have to hope for at all if that’s the life he’s subjecting himself to. 

“I’m not so sure about that,” Yunho claims, and both sets of parents look at him with surprise. Rina, however, looks amused, a sly simper weaving onto her face now that she finally gets to cause the damage she’s been waiting to. 

“Come again?” her father questions, “And why not? We’ve done a lot for your family, Yunho. Don’t burn your strongest bridges over some cold feet.” 

“It’s because he’s in love with a man,” Rina says simply, and everybody’s attention turns to her. She giggles as she takes a sip of her drink, and Yunho’s mom turns to her. 

“Yunho?” She questions. There’s no disappointment there, not yet, but she looks confused. It’s almost enough to derail him from this path of destruction he’s now set on, but looking at Rina is what keeps him steady. 

“That’s right. I’ve fallen in love with somebody, for the first time in my life, and it happens to be with a man,” Yunho confirms, taking a dig at Rina, making it clear he’d never loved her in all of these years. “But the reason I can’t marry her is because she’s absolutely the most god-awful person I’ve ever met in my life. She is spoiled, entitled, abusive both mentally and physically, and every second I’m around her I’m not sure if I’ll end up drowning her or myself.” The look of amusement remains on her mousy face, and everybody else at the table seems to be at a loss for words. While he is truly sorry about the repercussions his parents may face, he can’t sit here for another second when his heart is at work, fumbling to get books onto the top shelf that he can’t reach. 

Standing up, Yunho excuses himself with a small bow and leaves the club’s large dining hall. When he’s at the door leading outside, he can hear his mother calling after him, and turns to see her trotting up. She’s not mad, upset, disappointed, or anything that Yunho had feared, and takes his hands into her much smaller ones. 

“It’s true? You’ve fallen in love?” she questions, but doesn’t mention anything about sexuality. Yunho nods, solemnly, because he’s not sure if this is all too late. Weeks have past, and he’s been an idiot for each one of them. “He must be very special to have captured your heart then.” There’s a possibility that if Yunho doesn’t start moving again, he might flop onto the floor and become a puddle of emotions. 

“He’s very special,” Yunho smiles down at her, squeezing her hands, “I have to go win him back. I’m…I’m sorry about the position I’ve put you and father in.” 

His mom waves away the apology. “Your father has been building his own company behind the scenes. He’s been ready to split ties with that man for a while, but we’ve been waiting for you to leave her.” She reaches up and cups his face, “She really is awful.” 

Yunho makes a noise between a laugh and a cry as his hands rest over hers. “Thank you,” he whispers out, not being able to explain in full just how much that information helps heal his heart.

“And Yunho? Your father and I? We love you no matter what. It doesn’t matter what you want to do in life. Where you go. Who you love. You’ll always be our precious son, and we’re so very proud of you. Now, go win him back,” she pats his cheek and lets him go. With one last hug, he’s out of there. He has his car, but traffic is bad, and he ends up parking it on the side of the road a couple of blocks from the store and sprints the rest of the way. That silly little bell rings when he opens the door, and he notices that the store is practically empty, and Seonghwa isn’t behind the till. Long legs carry him to pass aisle after aisle until he sees him.

He must have been loud, because Seonghwa turns around, looking startled from the sudden movement. Before Yunho can stop to observe what his expression means, he’s bounding forward and sweeping Seonghwa up into a kiss full of every emotion he’s felt since the last time Seonghwa was in his car. There is no resistance, Seonghwa meeting him instantly like he always does, fingers wrapped loosely around Yunho’s wrists and Yunho’s hands straddle his jaw. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he’s pulling away, and Seonghwa is tenderly wiping them away. 

“Are you back to break my heart a second time?” Seonghwa finally breaks the silence, now using his palms to smooth out Yunho’s fancy dress shirt. There’s no malice in his voice, it’s casual, lighthearted, and Yunho kisses him again before shaking his head. 

“I left her,” he explains, and it’s all he needs to say, because now Seonghwa’s face distorts into something that is both pained and relieved, tears quickly building and falling, and now Yunho begins kissing each of them away.

“Are you-” Seonghwa can’t seem to finish his sentence, hand over his mouth again as if to hide this side of himself.

“I made love to you,” Yunho finally corrects him like he should have, “Every time I touched you, kissed you, held you, it was with love. I’m so in love with you, I have been this entire time. I should have chosen you then, but I’ll make it up to you. I’ll choose you every single time from here on out. I’ll dedicate myself to making you as happy as you’ve made me,” the promises spill out in one breath, but he means every single one of them. Seonghwa wraps his arms around Yunho’s shoulders and pulls him close as he nods rapidly, and Yunho can feel the other crying into his neck. 

“Thank you,” is all Seonghwa manages, his voice broken as he holds onto Yunho tightly. 

***

“Now Seonghwa, I brought this kimchi for you to take home,” Yunho mother says to Seonghwa, but it’s a warning to Yunho not to coerce his boyfriend into keeping it here. The two men look at eachother and laugh as his father helps his mother put on her coat. They’ve had another dinner at Yunho’s apartment, Yunho and his father talking about business now that Yunho is about to graduate and work with his father as his mother and Seonghwa prepare their meal. They do this once a week, every week. 

“Ah, there’s no need for that,” Seonghwa smiles as he still puts the homemade kimchi in Yunho’s fridge, and the look of disappointment his mother has is targeted at Yunho. She’s sure that he’s brainwashed Seonghwa somehow into always leaving the kimchi here. 

“Mom, this is Seonghwa’s home. He’s moving in,” Yunho explains as he helps his mother zip up her jacket and leans down to give her a kiss on the cheek. 

“You’re moving in?” his mom questions Seonghwa with excitement, hand holding onto his elbow. The thing about Yunho’s mother is - she absolutely adores Seonghwa. Even his father does. But then again, who wouldn’t? It’s Seonghwa, and he’s perfect. Seonghwa nods, a smile on his face before taking her into a hug. “Ah, we have to get going before the stores close. We need housewarming gifts! I need to make more stew,” his mother chimes, dragging his father out. Yunho and Seonghwa stand at the door together, Yunho’s arm wrapped around Seonghwa’s waist, as they watch Yunho’s parents drive off before closing the door. 

“You know, I saw wedding magazines last time we visited,” Seonghwa claims with a small bit of laughter, and Yunho already has him pressed up against the door, tucking hair behind his ear and leaning down to brush his nose against Seonghwa’s. 

“Maybe those are mine,” he teased, and Seonghwa rolls his eyes before sliding his arms around Yunho’s shoulders. 

“Maybe you should help me clean up the kitchen,” Seonghwa counters, leaning up to give Yunho one last kiss before escaping from his place between Yunho’s chest and the door. With a frown, Yunho follows. 

Yunho is the happiest he’s ever been.