Chapter Text
A sword to a guard's neck. A chilling threat.
A kicked-down door. A terrified lackey.
A silver flash. A slit throat.
In a swish of robes, turn to the boy kneeled in blood with his eyes closed.
Leave with the boy on your back, the hideout behind you swallowed in flames and warning.
~
Xue Yang awoke in the crook of Song Lan's arm.
Sadly for Song Lan, the former delinquent didn't stay there for a moment longer. Within a heartbeat, Xue Yang had scrambled away, shoving Song Lan's arm off him and skittering across the floor.
But Song Lan didn't quite mind. He did miss the feeling of having Xue Yang peacefully sleeping in his arms, but the sight before him rather made up for it.
Xue Yang's hair was still in its high ponytail, but in his mad scramble, a few strands had escaped and were hanging in front of his face. Song Lan thought it was cute, but he was more focused on Xue Yang's face itself.
Vibrant and pretty along the Kuizhou boy's cheeks was a hawthorn-red blush.
Scattered on top of his flushed cheeks were his freckles, dotting Xue Yang's blush like sprinkled sand.
And, adorably, Xue Yang was avoiding looking anywhere near Song Lan. His eyes were blinking and darting around the little coffin home, his lips pressed together in the smallest of pouts.
He was the very picture of shy and flustered, and Song Lan wanted to kiss him.
"Where..." Xue Yang's voice was shaky and unsure, his eyes still refusing to meet Song Lan's. "How..."
Song Lan reached out to take Xue Yang's hand. He watched the former delinquent's face carefully, noting the way he flinched but touched his trembling fingers to the back of Song Lan's hand nonetheless.
"We went out to find you." Song Lan raised an eyebrow. "Why are you surprised?" Xue Yang was so close. "A-Qing badgered us to search before two incense time was even up."
Xue Yang swallowed. His lips quivered, words on the edge waiting to spill over.
He was delicate, so paper-thin behind his dagger-edged grins and piercingly sharp words. Song Lan knew since the beginning; he saw past the desperate defences Xue Yang fought to keep up. Now, he saw and smiled at how open Xue Yang had become. The cages that Xue Yang crafted for himself were torn down by Song Lan, years and years of painstaking patience. It'd taken so long, and he was so relieved, tired of tiptoeing around Xue Yang's explosive emotions, tired of every cruel misinterpretation.
Song Lan shifted, just as Xue Yang finally took a shuddering breath.
"Why do you care?" he choked out.
The words were bitter and steeped in misery, reminiscent of a sour wine Xingchen had once tried with him from an insistent vendor. Xue Yang's eyes were wide and shiny; alarm bells rang in Song Lan's head, but he resisted the urge to touch Xue Yang's face just yet.
"I don't know," he answered simply. Xue Yang inhaled sharply, his entire face trembling with the effort of holding back tears, and he made to pull away his hand from where it was held within Song Lan's. But Song Lan gently squeezed his hand and let his breath ghost over Xue Yang's hair, and spoke again. "I just do. There is nothing to explain."
There had never been any question as to why he cared so much about Xue Yang. After putting aside his hatred and pain towards the murderous boy at Xingchen's behest, he gradually came to like Xue Yang's sharp-edged honesty. The years living with him, Xingchen and A-Qing had softened Song Lan, especially as he watched Xue Yang slowly try to change and better himself under the former three's guidance. It touched his heart, seeped into his bones and very soul until he loved Xue Yang completely.
Of course, he could not explain all that to Xue Yang. They had come far, but just fell short of Xue Yang believing everything Song Lan had to say.
Xue Yang looked stricken, his face tight with distress. "But why?" His voice was a whisper. He seemed scared to speak any louder, for if he did, he would pull the tears down from his eyes.
Song Lan did touch his face then, brushed his thumb over his cheek, and Xue Yang made a strangled little whimper in his throat.
"Xue Yang..." His voice shook a little and he averted his eyes, for there is no one completely fearless, and he had rarely bared his heart to Xue Yang before. "I simply love you. There truly is nothing to explain."
Because love needs no explanation, does it not? You don't explain why you love somebody; to do so, to list every little aspect, erases the purity of it all. It is in human nature to simply love without logic.
Song Lan tangled his fingers in Xue Yang's hair and finally chanced a look at the latter. His breath caught, both out of anticipation and awe.
Tears had finally fallen down Xue Yang's cheeks, and his eyes were as wide and planitive as a horse's. His lips were parted slightly in shock. Song Lan thought he couldn't get any more beautiful than when he was crying.
"You..." Xue Yang's voice broke a little in his throat, and he tried again. "You...love me?" He spoke every word like it was as foreign as sour tanghulu. Song Lan's heart twisted a little at Xue Yang's face; so open, so unsure, so clearly unused to affection.
He wanted to trace every contour in Xue Yang's face. He wanted to hold Xue Yang whenever he needed him. He wanted Xue Yang to give him smiles and laughs and tears.
"I do."