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Today is the day. He is going to do it. He is absolutely going to do it if only to get March and Stelle off his back, but mostly because he has been pining for over a hundred years now and this might be his only chance.
Dan Heng looks at Jing Yuan and with his entire heart, full of hope and love, he asks, “Can I take you out on a date?”
Jing Yuan blinks at him before laughing. “Oh I’m flattered, but—”
Dan Heng feels his heart begin to fall. It seems… he misread the signs. He thought Jing Yuan liked him too, with the soft smiles he gives Dan Heng and the way that he always seems to find Dan Heng on the Luofu, no matter where Dan Heng goes. The shame and embarrassment wells up inside of him. He wants nothing more than to crawl under a rock. It’s a good thing the Astral Express is leaving in a few days. He’ll be able to nurse his heartbreak in his own room alone.
That is until Jing Yuan finishes his sentence
“—surely you can do better than an old man like me,” Jing Yuan says with a self-deprecating smile. “You shouldn’t settle for me.”
Slowly, ever so slowly, the realization drops for Dan Heng.
Jing Yuan has no idea.
Jing Yuan has absolutely no idea that he is an absolute catch, that he has been the Luofu’s Most Eligible bachelor for 600+ years, that he is the pinnacle of men, the most desired man in the entire Xianzhou Alliance. He has no idea that Dan Heng will be lucky to have him. He has no idea that people will KILL for the chance to go on a date with Jing Yuan. There was no “settling” here. Absolutely none!
Who wouldn’t want to date the Arbiter-General of the Luofu, former Sword Champion, one of the heroes of the High-Cloud Quintet, Grandmaster of Starchess, holder of 145 different unique medals, and three time champion of Luofu’s Grand Cook-Off Challenge?! And don’t get Dan Heng started on the fact that Jing Yuan is the strongest, kindest, gentlest man he has ever known. Or the fact that his eyes shine like the sun, his hair looks so fluffy and soft, his smile is so sweet and oh Lan, his muscles.
Dan Heng stares.
Jing Yuan nervously smiles back. “I’m hardly worth it,” he says.
Nope. This must be fixed right now.
Dan Heng stands and tugs Jing Yuan out of his seat. “Come with me,” he says.
Jing Yuan blinks at him, confused. (Oh Lan, it’s so cute, it’s really really really cute. Dan Heng has no idea why no one has married Jing Yuan before this but he isn’t complaining because it means he has a chance.)
Dan Heng takes him down the street to where he knows the main office of Luofu’s Weekly Magazine is located. He pushes Jing Yuan inside and the first lady sitting at the front desk looks up at Jing Yuan to greet him.
“Hello-oh—” THUD!
She immediately passes out, slumping out of her chair.
Jing Yuan sighs. “It’s been awhile since that has happened. I’m aware I’m not that pleasing to look at.”
That was not the problem here!
The problem was Jing Yuan is perfect and people passed out at the sheer beauty of his face! How can he not have noticed this?!
“Mingxi!” Another woman comes out to see the first secretary passed out. “Uh,” she turns to look at Jing Yuan and Dan Heng. “Oh— General—” She blushes a bright red and twirls a piece of her brown hair. “How can I help you?”
Jing Yuan looks at Dan Heng. Dan Heng coughs, steps forward to slightly block Jing Yun from the second secretary —her name tag said Chiyan— and says, “I would like you to bring out copies of your end of the year edition magazine for the last six hundred years. In particular the Luofu’s Most Eligible Bachelor results.”
Chiyan froze. She nervously looks at Jing Yuan. “A-are you sure?” she asks.
“Absolutely,” Dan Heng says. “I’m trying to prove a point to him.”
“We don’t keep physical copies of our magazine that far back,” Chiyan deflects.
“Access to your digital archives then,” Dan Heng says.
She nervously hands over a tablet and Dan Heng flips through it, easily pulling up the results. There on the screen was a gorgeous picture of Jing Yuan with the text sprawled on the border stating he has won Most Eligible Bachelor for the 642 year in a row despite not being on the ballot (again.)
He hands over the tablet to Jing Yuan.
“Uh,” Jing Yuan says, taking the tablet. “What is this?”
“Every year this magazine hosts a poll for who they think is the Most Eligible Bachelor on the Luofu,” Dan Heng explains. “Or to put it bluntly, if you go outside and ask anyone on the streets who they would marry in a heartbeat regardless of everything else, they will say General Jing Yuan.”
Jing Yuan’s cheeks turn a light red. “What?”
“You’ve won this poll every year for the last 642 years,” Dan Heng says.
Chiyan softly sighs. “We even had to remove you from the poll over the last 200 years because it was getting too repetitive, but people were still sending your name and you were still winning by a landslide.”
“W-what?” Jing Yuan repeats, cheeks growing even more red.
“We’ve even excluded you from our other polls,” Chiyan says. “You still win them. In fact, I think all the magazines in the entire Xianzhou Alliance have the same problem.”
“You’ve won Most Confirmed Bachelor 578 out 578 times in Luofu’s Glamor Magazine. You’ve won Number 1 on Top 10 Hottest Guys in the Luofu from Luofu’s Weekly Magazine 642 out of 642 years in a row. You’ve won Number 1 on Top 10 Hottest Guys in the entire Xianzhou Alliance from Xianzhou’s People Magazine 167 out of 210 times, losing only to Marshal Hua throughout the years. You’re still Number 2 in those polls in that case,” Dan Heng recites the stats off the top of his head. It isn’t like he owns multiple copies of all these magazines or anything. Nope, not at all. If March says otherwise, it’s a lie.
Jing Yuan at this point is a bright red and speechless.
“Did he not know?” Chiyan asks Dan Heng.
“He didn’t,” Dan Heng says.
“Oh, well then.” Chiyan smiles flirty at Jing Yuan. “Can I ask—”
Fuck no.
Dan Heng did not come here to prove to Jing Yuan that he is a highly desirable man and get sniped by some new lady.
He turns and grabs Jing Yuan by his collar and plants a kiss on Jing Yuan’s lips. He uses Jing Yuan’s startled gasp to slip a tongue inside and explores deeply.
And Jing Yuan’s legs give out as he passes out, face a bright red, the figuratively smoke floating from his head as he’s finally overwhelmed by everything.
Dan Heng gathers Jing Yuan up in his arms, cradling him in bridal style before he turns to look at Chiyan with a small smug smile. “I have first dibs,” he says.
He leaves, not letting her get in another word.
Now to just convince Jing Yuan to let Dan Heng take him out on a date.
-.-.-
Jing Yuan wakes slowly and with a weight pressing down on his chest. He blinks awake and sees Dan Heng’s green eyes looking up at him. Dan Heng is laying on of him, like a cat waiting for its owner to wake up, comfortably snuggled up to Jing Yuan.
“Awake?” Dan Heng asks.
Everything comes rushing back to Jing Yuan. His cheeks burns and his heart races as he remembers all the information that Dan Heng gave him back at Luofu’s Weekly Magazine’s main office.
He had absolutely no idea that he had won those polls. People think he’s marriage material? That doesn’t sound right?!
And then Dan Heng kissed him?! HIM! JING YUAN! HE GOT A KISS FROM DAN HENG?!
Look, he knows he's nursing a small crush. It’s not because Dan Heng used to be Dan Feng though he’s willing to admit he had a crush on Dan Feng too. But it’s because Dan Heng has proven over these last several days he’s been on the Luofu how high he soars, trailblazing beyond and Jing Yuan loves that freedom for him. It’s so beautiful.
But! He’s old! He’s not ideal! He’s not marriage material! He’s just Jing Yuan. There’s nothing special—
Dan Heng leans forward to press a small kiss to Jing Yuan’s nose.
Jing Yuan feels his thoughts derail, spiraling into what he can only describe as a mental smashing of sounds of indescribable feelings.
-.-.-
Dan Heng silently laughs at Jing Yuan’s expression. He’s blushing so hard, it’s spreading down his neck, beneath the collar of his clothes. He’s just so terribly cute like this.
But enough teasing. Dan Heng wants an answer and making Jing Yuan pass out again is not what he’s after.
“Let me ask again,” Dan Heng says with a twinkle in his eye. “Can I take you out on a date?”
“But—” Jing Yuan stammers.
“I’m telling you, you’re like a grand prize lottery, Jing Yuan. I will be honored if you allow me to take you out on a date,” Dan Heng says.
Jing Yuan’s expression twists into something unreadable, a mix of despair and disbelief and something else Dan Heng can’t identify. “I’m no one’s first choice, Dan Heng,” he admits.
Dan Heng tilts his head. That all but confirms that he must absolutely smother Jing Yuan with love if that’s what he thinks.
“You’re my first choice,” he says quietly. “You’ve been my first choice since you walked into my cell, the sun that lit my way and set me free. You’ve always been my first choice.”
Jing Yuan has orbit his every thought since the day Dan Heng met him. Dan Heng can barely describe the impact that Jing Yuan has on him. This man means so much to him, and Dan Heng has been in love since Jing Yuan walked into his life. He never thought he had a chance, being exiled and the memory of Dan Feng hanging like a ghost, but he is here now and he won’t let this chance slip away.
“I’m not settling for anything by choosing you,” Dan Heng says. “In fact, you will make me the happiest man alive if you pick me.”
“Oh,” Jing Yuan says with wide eyes.
“Can I take you out on a date?” Dan Heng asks again.
“Y-Yes? Yes,” Jing Yuan squeaks, pressing his hands to his face. Dan Heng didn’t think Jing Yuan could get any brighter red, but he is. His hands are blushing now. There was one full body blush going on.
Dan Heng’s heart leaps for joy. He smiles softly before pressing a kiss to Jing Yuan’s hands. “Great. I really hope you like what I have planned.”
Jing Yuan makes a strangled noise.
And Dan Heng’s smile widens.
He’s going to make sure Jing Yuan is the most loved man in the entire universe and knows it.
-.-.-
Yanqing looks up as he hears the doors open and quickly bounds over as Jing Yuan enters the Seat of Divine Foresight. “General!” he exclaims. “Where have you been?”
Jing Yuan has been missing for 48 hours. Yanqing isn’t overly concerned as he had gotten a message from Jing Yuan that he would be unavailable, but he is rather curious as Jing Yuan has only just recovered from his injuries and there is still a lot of cleanup to do. It’s not like him.
To his surprise, Jing Yuan turns red. “I was with Dan Heng,” he says with a light cough.
It’s at that moment, Qingzu returns carrying a magazine. “Is it true, sir?” she asks.
“Is what true?” Jing Yuan asks back.
Qingzu holds out the magazine, Luofu’s Weekly Magazine. Yanqing can see on the front cover a picture of Jing Yuan and the bold text stating, “GENERAL JING YUAN IS TAKEN?! SEE INSIDE FOR EXCLUSIVE LOOK AT HIS NEW RELATIONSHIP!”
Jing Yuan makes a strangled noise.
At the same time, the doors open again and Dan Heng walks in. Yanqing raises an eyebrow because despite the somewhat stoic expression on Dan Heng’s face, he is positively radiating with happiness that Yanqing can tell.
Dan Heng hands Jing Yuan a box and presses a kiss to his cheek. “You forgot your lunch, Jing Yuan.”
He then notices the magazine Qingzu is holding. “It’s true,” Dan Heng says smugly.
Jing Yuan is turning an impossible red color. “Dan Heng, did you—”
“—go to Luofu’s Weekly Magazine and tell them to print an exclusive telling everyone that you’re off the market because we’re now boyfriends and thus breaking the hearts of millions across the Xianzhou Alliance? Yes,” Dan Heng says.
Yanqing is seriously starting to get concerned as Jing Yuan turns redder than Berrypheasant Skewer.
Then Dan Heng grabs Jing Yuan’s hand to hold and Jing Yuan squeaks before promptly passing out.
“Ah!” Dan Heng says, shifting into his Vidyadhara form. His tail materialized to catch the falling lunch box as he was catching Jing Yuan. “My apologies,” he says, looking at Qingzu and Yanqing. “I’m still trying to figure out how many times I can do things like that before he passes out on me.”
And then, as he picks up Jing Yuan in a bridal style carry, he says innocently (too innocently to Yanqing’s ears), “I will return him later.”
“Hey!” Yanqing protests.
It’s no use. Dan Heng is already out the door with Jing Yuan.
Qingzu sighs. “Well I guess it’s official. General Jing Yuan is no longer Luofu’s Most Eligible Bachelor.”