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It was over. They lost.
They lost, but the fighting was done, and Roier could finally take a deep fucking breath and relax knowing the rest of the day would be free of the constant fear they had been enduring the past week.
Everyone else knew it too, and the atmosphere had changed into something more lighthearted as the teams began to talk and joke, as if the past hour of bloodshed had not just happened. It was almost nostalgic. Despite only being a few days, the times of friendship on their island seemed like ages ago, a distant memory. Yet here they were, chatting the way they used to.
Even so, Roier couldn’t ignore the guilt gnawing at his insides, eyes flicking over to Cellbit. Flashes of the feeling of his sword digging into his husband's flesh and the life draining from his eyes flickered through his mind, persistent. It made him feel nauseous. He had to do it, it was part of the game- who knew what worse consequences would happen if he refused to fight? The thought did nothing to quell the repulsion at his actions. He broke his own promise. His husband’s trust. He felt dizzy.
The man in question seemed to not notice Roier’s internal torment, focused on laughing at whatever Foolish had just said. His smile was bright and handsome as always- it tugged on Roier’s heartstrings, hypnotizing him, making him unable to look away. He carefully watched the Brazilian’s face as he responded animatedly, waving his hand for effect. The movement caught Roier’s eye, and he paused, finally noticing the very rough-looking, still-bleeding wounds littering his husband’s skin. Roier huffed. Of course he still hadn’t tended to them. Pendejo.
The concern for his lover’s well-being was what finally overpowered his anxieties and allowed him to march up to Cellbit’s side, crossing his arms and fixing him with a look that he hoped conveyed his disappointment. The older man turned, noticing his approach, and smiled warmly, if not a bit confused.
“I- Guapito,” Cellbit greeted, analyzing his expression. “Did something happen…?”
The Mexican raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the man’s body, causing him to look down at himself.
“You being careless is what happened. Mírate, Cellbo. Have you just been walking around like that? Bleeding out?” Roier chastised.
Cellbit met Roier’s gaze again, slightly sheepish. “I guess I didn’t really notice?” He looked over himself, wincing as he finally registered the magnitude of his wounds.
“No mames, eres un imbécil. Come on, we’re fixing this, now,” Roier grabbed the older’s forearm and tugged him back, minding his injuries with his grip. Cellbit uttered a quick apology and goodbye to the others around and let himself be pulled by his husband with little resistance.
Roier led the man back to the Green base, not concerned as he knew his team members would all still be in the center. Once below the ground, Roier sat Cellbit down on one of their makeshift beds and turned to rummage for medical supplies. There was an uncharacteristic silence between them- too many things to unpack from the day and no easy way to approach them. Granted, Roier himself was normally the one filling the silence with singing, jokes, or stories. At the moment, all he could do was watch his hands shake as he pulled alcohol and cotton pads out of a box.
He turned to place the materials on a nearby table, noticing Cellbit’s gaze fixated on his movements. His expression was unreadable, but intense, and it brought Roier’s guilt back to the front of his mind. He tried his best to ignore the voice in the back of his head trying to convince him that his husband hated him now, that he would never forgive him and leave him at the first opportunity. Roier sighed and sat at Cellbit’s side, timidly tugging at the hem of his white tank, a silent question. The older man got the message and lifted the shirt over his head, discarding it on the floor.
Roier couldn’t help but cover his mouth with a hand at the sight. Deep, rough slashes littered his partner’s torso- an especially brutal one cutting right down his sternum. Tentatively, the Mexican brushed his fingers on the wound, eliciting a soft hiss from Cellbit. Another flash infected his mind, his own blade piercing that exact spot. Roier snatched his hand back as if it were burnt and he squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering.
Before he could spiral too far, a warm hand brushed a strand of hair from his face before grabbing an arm and opening his tense hand, interlacing their fingers. Roier’s chest ached from the gentle treatment. Despite Cellbit being more or less the source of his anguish, his touch still brought comfort to him.
Cautiously, the younger opened his eyes and met with a concerned-looking Cellbit. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes darted around Roier’s face, searching. It reminded Roier of the face he would make when solving puzzles- he would have found that adorable if he wasn’t so on edge.
“Roier,” Cellbit began, seriously. Roier swallowed. “What’s going on with you? I know none of us have been acting right lately, but you seem… especially tense right now. Are you okay?”
“Am I okay? Shouldn’t I be asking you that, pendejo?” Roier retorted, with a little more force than was probably necessary. Cellbit only blinked at him, so he continued: “Look at you, you’re all beat up, todo jodido. And- and part of it is my fault!” Roier blinked back tears that began welling up in his eyes.
Cellbit let out a sharp exhale, unsure of what to say. “I’m fine, I was just outmatched,” he said, squeezing the younger’s hand. “I don’t resent you or anything. Eres muy fuerte, sí?”
Roier looked at him for a moment before shaking his head solemnly. He removed his hand from Cellbit’s and took a cotton pad out, moving to start cleaning his wounds. He hovered over the large cut for a moment before moving to his arm instead.
“This will probably sting a little,” Roier said quietly. Cellbit nodded distractedly, still searching the Mexican’s face for something- maybe an answer. After a moment of silent working, Roier let out a deep sigh.
“I broke my promise. I told myself I wouldn’t hurt you, and I did anyway,” Roier confided, avoiding the Brazilian’s gaze.
“I told you, Guapito, it’s okay,” Cellbit responded softly. “You did what you had to do. I know you didn’t mean it.”
Roier let out a frustrated groan, reaching up to pinch Cellbit on the cheek. “Why do you forgive me so easily, filho da puta?” He bit his lip lightly, gaze drifting to the same deep slash on the older’s torso. “When I was betrayed, it was the worst thing I had ever felt. To know that someone who I thought loved me would hurt me without a second thought cut deeper than any wound. I never wanted you to have to feel the same, I’m so, so sorry-”
Cellbit brought a hand up to the side of his face, silencing his increasingly panicked words. Roier dared to look back up towards the older’s face, and was met with an expression so soft and loving it turned his insides to jelly. Without thinking, Roier leaned into the touch.
“There’s a key difference here, amor. They felt no remorse for what they did to you. And here you are, feeling so bad, tadinho. I forgive you so easily because I already know how much you love me,” Cellbit murmured, thumb stroking the younger’s cheek softly. “And because I love you too.”
Roier felt his eyes begin to water once more, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning up and capturing the older’s mouth in a sweet kiss. The contact made warmth flood his body and he hummed with contentment as Cellbit enthusiastically returned the gesture and placed his other hand on Roier’s waist. They stayed like that for a moment, softly moving their lips against one another’s- until Roier’s head got too fuzzy from the attention and tried placing a hand on Cellbit’s chest, which caused them to break apart as Cellbit let out a quiet “ow”.
“Ah! Perdón, perdón. I- uh- forgot about your,” he motioned vaguely in the Brazilian’s direction. “You know.” The two stared at each other for a moment before breaking into laughter. “Alright Gatinho, enough, stop distracting me with your handsomeness and let me finish patching you up,” Roier joked.
“Desculpa,” Cellbit responded, still chuckling.
The tension had thankfully dissipated as Roier finished cleaning his husband’s injuries. They were able to talk and banter as they were used to, and when they had stopped badmouthing Badboyhalo for the thousandth time, Roier resigned himself to humming a little song as he put the current items away in exchange for bandages. While wrapping gauze around Cellbit’s arm, he suddenly spoke up.
“I really missed you, you know. I missed this,” He said, causing Roier to look up at him incredulously.
“You’re saying this out of nowhere? What are you trying to get from me, Gatinho?” Despite the teasing, a genuine smile found its way onto the man’s face.
Cellbit laughed- one of Roier’s favorite sounds. “Nothing, I promise! It’s just… we haven’t been able to see each other as much as we usually do,” he began. “Everything is so much more unbearable when you’re not here. I miss seeing your pretty face when I wake up in the morning.” This earned a light slap on the shoulder from Roier, who felt his face heating up from the comment.
“Please. You miss my pretty face even when I leave the room for five minutes.”
“True.”
“But seriously, I’ve missed you too. Fuck this purgatory bullshit, it’s messing with our heads, I just want to be home,” Roier ranted, placing bandages with more force. Cellbit chuckled again, rubbing the side of Roier’s arm in consolation.
“Me too, Guapito. It’ll be over soon enough.” As the Brazilian finished speaking, Roier finished securing the final bandage, smoothing it over with his hand. He leaned back to inspect his work- and ogle his husband’s muscles, but nobody else needed to know that. (He had a feeling Cellbit already knew anyway.)
“I think we’re done. How do you feel?”
“Honestly? Better. Less achey,” Cellbit answered. Roier smiled brightly.
“Nice,” he said, with an air of finality. There was a beat of silence, as Cellbit seemed to want to say something, but was still thinking about it. Roier just looked at him patiently.
“Do you think… we could stay together tonight?” Cellbit finally began, looking hopeful. “Nobody will be fighting for the rest of the day, and we could just separate in the morning before the timer starts.”
Roier grinned widely at that, swinging a leg over Cellbit’s hips so he was securely in his lap. He draped his arms over the older’s shoulders and planted a quick kiss on his mouth before leaning back to look at him deviously.
“I was thinking the same thing.”
—
That night, the two would fall asleep curled next to each other, clinging to one another as if they would disappear the minute they let go. Roier buried his face into Cellbit’s chest, bathing in his comforting warmth for what little time they had. At that moment, he made a new promise to himself. He would never let anything bad happen to his husband again. If anyone tried to take him, he would stop at nothing to get him back.