Chapter Text

Episode 1: No Bones About It: We're Back!

“Welcome back to Total Drama Island!” A familiar voice boomed across the shoreline as Chris jumped into view. “I'm Chris McLean, your beloved host and enthusiast of all things pain, hehehe.” He continued, finishing with his trademark chuckle.

“Some of you TDI megafans might already have guessed where I'm standing right now. But for you newbies, welcome to our venue for this season…” The camera zoomed out to reveal a foreboding Island. In the centre stood a jagged cliff in the shape of a giant human skull. “That's right, it's Boney Island!”

“We've brought 16 of your favourite campers back to battle it out here on Boney Island for a chance at the grand prize” McLean droned on with his seemingly endless energy “or at least the 16 favourites that would return our calls.”

“And what is that grand prize?” He said as if anybody had actually asked that question. “Well of course it's only ONE MILLION DOLLARS!” As if drawn to the mere mention of the loot, the sound of rowing began to grow audible. “And here are our contestants now. Time to meet the victims.”

16 precarious looking wooden rafts floated towards the Island. Each one carrying a single contestant, as well as a tired looking intern, rowing using a tree branch as a makeshift oar.

“Please welcome our stars: deep dainty Dawn, strange survivalist Shawn, jade juggernaut Jasmine, conniving CIT Courtney, hated hottie Heather, sneaky strategist Scott, cunning close-in Cameron, jumping…er juggernaut Jo” Chris droned on, clearly stretching for the alliterations. He kept going as the rest of the cast floated past.

“Outstandingly optimistic Owen, hardy headache Harold, awfully attractive Alejandro, lusciously limber Leshawna, sassy salient Sugar, maniacal marshmallow Max, delinquent disaster Duncan, and…” the host scratched his head. “And Zoey!”

“Hey why didn't I get a tagline?” Zoey complained as the rafts reached the shore. The contestants huddled around McLean, leaving the interns to collapse on the sand.

“Because” Chris responded with a patronising smirk, “there aren't many words that begin with Z.” Zoey frowned at him, before realising that there was a bigger elephant in the room.

“Wait, where's Mike?”

“Not here.” Chris answered matter-of-factly. “And speaking of things that aren't here, let's all pay our respects to our beloved Camp Wawanakwa.” He spoke through tears, whether they were real or fake was hard to tell. “Please, join me in a moment of silence.”

The contestants all roared with laughter at the idea, much to Chris’ annoyance. “Alright fine, no respect for the dead I guess. Let's just get you into your teams. Once again you'll be separated into heroes vs villains.”

“Uhh again? Way to be creative” Courtney complained.

“And that, Courtney, is just one of the many reasons you're moving to the dark side this season!” Courtney gasped in offence, but the host ignored her protests. “Joining you will be Duncan, Heather, Alejandro, Scott, Jo, Max and Sugar. Together you'll be the Evil Eels!” He threw out a green banner with an eel badge lazily embroidered on the centre. It landed on the floor and the team of villains gathered around it, somewhat reluctantly.

“And that leaves our hero team: Owen, Harold, Leshawna, Dawn, Zoey, Cameron, Shawn and Jasmine. From now on you'll be known as the Moral Mongeese.” This time a pink banner flew out, landing at the feet of the second team. Chris turned to face the camera with an almost creepy smile. “16 campers, 2 teams, and one million big ones on the line. This is Total! Drama! Island! Of DOOM!”

Intro plays

The intro concluded and the beach cut back into view, the teams had already begun to mingle. “So Duncan” Scott enquired to the delinquent “how's the slammer been treating ya? Is your sentence up yet?”

Duncan shrugged, “Been fine, got another year left but they gave me parole for the show.” The skull T-shirt he usually wore had been replaced by a plain orange one, and he looked noticeably more muscular than he had in the past. Everyone else looked pretty much the same.

The farm boy smirked at him “Don't you wanna hear about me and Courtney? Things have gotten pretty serious.” In truth, he hadn't even spoken to the brunette once since All Stars, he just wanted to make Duncan jealous. But he was left disappointed. The convict just walked away, making it very clear from his expression that he was uninterested in taking the bait.

“Aww man, why couldn't Mike come back” the camera cut over to the Moral Mongeese as Zoey sulked slightly. Cameron reached up to put his hand on her shoulder, barely reaching with his fingertips.

“At least we've still got me and you, we can still win this show for him.” He reassured her with a smile. Zoey's mood seemed to lighten a little.

“Yeah you're right, he probably wouldn't want to do this after last time anyway.” Zoey said, fixing her posture and looking generally more like her usual cheery self. “Come to think of it” she considered, becoming aware of a familiar presence sitting next to her. “Hey Dawn, why are you here? I thought you sold all that merchandise and got rich?”

Dawn stood up to answer, although that still left her tilting her neck up slightly to meet Zoey's eyes. “Unfortunately not” she explained sadly, “it would seem that proximity to toxic waste immediately halves an object's market value. That or proximity to McLean's arua.” She chuckled slightly, “although how different are those really.” Cameron and Zoey both smiled in agreement.

Right on cue, the host put his megaphone up and shouted into it (even though he was still only 5 feet away). “Alright campers!” His voice boomed across the beach as the contestants covered their ears, trying to avoid being deafened by the sound. Chris moved the device away with a mischievous giggle. “Are there any questions before we get started?”

Leshawna raised her hand, “Yeah where's the restroom on this island?”

“Over there.” Chris responded, pointing to an overgrown wooden outhouse a few yards into the nearby forest. It looked shoddy, even by TDI standards.

Leshawna sighed, dreading the answer to her follow up question, “and where is the confessional booth?”

“Over there.” McLean said, pointing to the same outhouse as if it was perfectly obvious.

[Confessional: Leshawna] “Why am I EVEN SURPRISED ANYMORE?”

“Alright campers” Chris said, moving swiftly on with the schedule, “it's time for your first challenge. All you have to do is reach the clearing in the middle of the forest. He pointed behind him as he spoke. “There you'll find your cabins of residence for the season. First team there gets an advantage for the next half of the challenge. And go!” Chris shouted, shooting a starting gun into the air. A seagull with 5 eyes fell out of the sky from the shot, making Dawn gasp in horror.

“Oh yeah, and remember all those mutant animals that used to be on Wawanakwa? Yeah they're here. So you should probably keep an eye out for those. Hehe.” The campers all hesitated for a moment at this revelation, before bolting off into the forest.

The Evil Eels bickered between each other as they made their way through the trees, to the surprise of absolutely nobody. Alejandro took the lead, beckoning his team to follow behind him. “Uh I'm pretty sure McLean was pointing in that direction, genius.” Jo complained, waving her left arm in the opposite direction to where the rest of the team was running.

“And you're going to just trust him are you?” Alejandro retorted. The rest of the villains glanced at each other, he did have a point.

“Oh and who made you leader AL?” Jo shouted, putting extra emphasis on that last word, just to annoy him. She smirked as he took the bait.

“Never call me Al. Now let's go this way or we'll lo-”

“Shut up both of you!” Heather screamed, “we are running through a forest we don't need to have a diplomatic crisis! Just. Freaking. Run.” Jo scowled slightly as the dark haired girl took off, of course running down the path Alejandro had suggested. But she and the rest of the team begrudgingly followed.

[Heather] “Trying to be team leader didn't exactly work out for me last season, so I won't be making that mistake again. But if Alejandro wants to take a sip from the poisoned chalice, I'll of course be his biggest supporter.”

Duncan and Max took up the rear of the gang, one clearly not trying, the other sweating as he struggled to keep up. The purple haired boy used the opportunity to try and strike up a conversation. “So old friend” he said with a creepy grin, “how have you been since we last met?”

“Really stretching the definition of ‘friend’ there Maximillian” the delinquent answered with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh come on, you and I go way back, don't you recall? I merely want to suggest a little alliance. With you as the Brawn and me the brains, we'll be unstoppable.”

“The only thing I recall is me pulling your undies way back over your head.” Duncan snapped, clearly annoyed by Max's presence. “Now can it!”

[Duncan] “Yeah Max spent a while in the same juve Mal and I went to, kid got a lotta wedgies, most of them by me.” He pondered for a moment, “Ya know what, I'm pretty sure that new blond chick was in there for a few weeks as well. Man, was that place just some messed up scouting agency or something?”

Meanwhile, the slight delay from the villains’ argument had given their competitors a slight lead. Shawn and Jasmine led the group, smiling at each other as they conversed.

“...and then I said “those are 1 pound 50, you give me the 50, I give you the pound!” Jasmine said with a hearty laugh. She was recounting a rather amusing story from the flower shop dojo she had opened with her share of last season's prize money. The distance had meant that the couple had been unable to meet up since Pahkitew Island finished, but they had still remained in touch. “So how has your bunker been coming along?”

“Pretty well” her boyfriend responded, clearly about to break into a long tangent, “although the slightly lower budget means that I won't be able to get all the wall mounted bazookas I planned. I've had to downgrade from three rows to only one, so I replaced them with thicker walls, which was cheaper than having to buy stocks of ammo. The pit is almost completely dug out, maybe you could come help with that someti-”

Shawn stopped dead at the sound of a large animal approaching. “What the Heck was that?” He asked reluctantly, fearing the worst.

Cameron jumped in to answer before any conspiracy theories could start flying. “That sounded like the call of a struthio camelus camelus, also known as the red-necked ostrich. They're the largest species of avian on the planet!”

“So it was a bird” Zoey clarified, “you can just say it was a bird Cam.”

Right on cue the bird leapt out of the bushes right in front of Leshawna, making her jolt back with a shriek. The ostrich almost passed for being normal until you looked at its legs, which were covered in bulging muscles like a bodybuilder. “Talk about not skipping leg day.” Owen quipped with a nervous giggle.

Harold leapt between Leshawna and the beast before it could even think about attacking. “Don't worry my fair maiden, I'll protect you!” He yelled out a battle cry as he charged the ostrich. But as soon as he got close, the bird delivered a mighty kick to his nether regions.

“Ah my left kiwi!” Harold cried as he flew backwards. He quickly got up and ran back into the fight with a shout, “Do that again, I dare you!” The bird obliged with a smile, sending the lanky teen flying again.

“Gosh my right kiwi!” Harold cried out in pain as he hit the ground, but he wasn't giving up that easily. Leshawna reached out to try and stop him, but he brushed it aside and ran headlong at the ostrich for a third time.

The struthio camelus camelus raised its leg unenthusiastically, getting bored with its new plaything. Harold ran straight into the beefy limb. The bird's foot landed directly in his central, and most important, kiwi. This time the geek was down for the count, and the ostrich turned its attention to the rest of the Mongeese. It looked hungry.

The team of heroes started to back away in fear, not excited about becoming bird food. But before it could pick which camper would make the best appetiser, Dawn stept out from the group and approached slowly. “I know you're upset” she said calmly, “but please, you must calm down.”

Her words quickly started to take effect, snapping the ostrich out of its frenzy. “There there, it's alright” she continued, patting the bird on the head softly. Dawn's new friend looked down apologetically at Harold, becoming less proud of its victory. “Don't worry about him, he'll be fine” she reassured, “now could you please point us in the direction of the cabins?”

The bird pointed its beak in a direction slightly left of where they were headed. Dawn thanked it with a nod, and they took off. “Dawn, that was amazing!” Owen said, lifting their wounded teammate onto his shoulder.

“Oh it was nothing really, I just saw the anguish in her aura and had to help.” The moon girl replied with a smile.

“Wait, I got beat by a girl?” Harold complained, his voice a whole octave higher than usual.

[Harold] “Come on, I totally had it under control, that girl is just plain nuts. Speaking of nuts, owwwwwww!”

The trees around the Evil Eels began to clear as they approached their destination. Alejandro led the group, with Scott and Courtney bringing up behind. They had been running in silence for what felt like hours, when finally the CIT broke the silence. “So Scott” she dared, “how have you been?”

The farm boy was quick to anger. “You'd know if you ever called Courtney” he sneered.

“Oh yeah because you called me all the time!” Courtney retorted. “Do you even have a phone?”

“Yeah, I do. And I'm sure the rat tail had nothing to do with that.” Scott got in his ex's face, pointing wildly in anger.

“Oh that was a year ago. So I was trying to win, sue me!” Courtney threw her hands up in rage as she shouted. They had slowed down considerably now and were focused entirely on eachother.

“Why don't you go sue yourself” Scott asked sarcastically, “you're a lawyer right?”

“Oh shut up you huge je-” Courtney cut herself off as she saw the most beautiful thing she'd seen in 5 seasons of this awful show. They had reached the clearing, and in the centre stood two cabins. One with a bright green roof, the other hot pink.

Well, cabins wasn't exactly the right word, they were more like wooden mansions. Each one was 3 stories tall, with plants and windows decorating all around the exterior. Just from the outside you could tell there was enough space for a bedroom each. They even both had an adorable little chimney on the top!

[Courtney] “Finally! After all this time a decent cabin. I never thought I'd say this but…thank you Chris!”

There was only one thing that ruined the surprise. The Evil Eels excitement faded slightly as they saw a group of campers around the pink cabin. “Yay we won!” Sugar cried out, a little slower on the uptake.

Alejandro facepalmed lightly, trying not to hurt his perfect nose too much. “No amigo” he corrected, “no we did not.”

“What time do you call this, guys?” Leshawna joked from across the clearing.

“Boo-yah” Harold added from Owen's shoulder, his voice still slightly above its normal pitch. The villains glumly took their place at the other cabin, and were instantly cheered up, it looked even better from the inside.

The campers craned their necks upwards as the sound of a helicopter. The door opened and their beloved-ish host jumped out. Chris’ parachute opened right on time and he glided down like a leaf, landing right in front of the two cabins. “Hello campers, like what ya see?’ He asked with a mischievous grin.

“It's…” Courtney began, struggling to put her thoughts into words.

“...beautiful” Jasmine finished from across the clearing.

“Glad you like it. But before we all start claiming rooms, we've got a challenge to finish. This season every challenge will be based on a common fear or phobia, so you might just face your worst nightmares here on this island.” Chris explained, his smile growing as the big reveal grew closer. “And today's fear is…huh?”

The host's dramatic pause was cut off as Courtney ran into her team's mansion, completely ignoring her words. But as soon as she got through the doorway, her foot landed on a tripwire. The C I.T was blown backwards as both cabins suddenly erupted into two balls of flames. The campers gasped in horror.

Chris’ sadistic smile only grew wider at the sight. “...is Pyrophobia!” He announced, finishing his sentence as if nothing had happened. “First team to put their fire out wins, and gets to spend the season in a slightly less well done cabin. Hehe” he explained with his familiar laugh. “The team that loses gets to live in a pile of rubble, and votes somebody out tonight.”

[Courtney] “Curse you Chriiiis!” She sobbed violently, as if she had just watched her new house burn down in front of her (which is actually exactly what happened). Her hair had gone black and wild at the front, and dark soot covered her face.

“Since the Moral Mongeese got here first, they get these fire hoses” Chris droned on, unconcerned at the two massive fires he had just started, “the Eels are on buckets. Chef?” He pointed up at his helicopter and the familiar face of Chef Hatchet poked out of the door. With a grin he tossed three pink garden hoses down towards the heroes, before hurling a wooden bucket at each of the villains. All but two of the buckets exploded into splinters on impact, only Alejandro and Duncan managed to catch theirs and save them.

“Now get moving campers!” Chris shouted, and both teams immediately got to work, one of them in far higher spirits than the other.

Cameron and Zoey immediately grabbed two of their team's hoses and began searching for a water source to plug them into. Meanwhile the villains huddled together to try and come up with a plan. “So guys, we can use that lake over there to fill up the buckets” Scott suggested, pointing to a small body of water just outside of the clearing, “who are our two fastest players?”

“No matter who we pick, that would take forever” Courtney argued, clearly still annoyed by Chris’ little prank. “It's hopelessness with these dumb buckets. There has to be a better way!”

“Yeah, you're probably right” her ex-boyfriend conceded, “gosh if only it would rain.” Scott's face lit up as a thought occurred to him. “Hey Courtney, maybe you should sing.” He chuckled a his own joke. Courtney stomped her foot and held back a scream.

“Lalalalaaaaaaaa” Sugar began to sing, clearly not getting that Scott's suggestion had been sarcastic. None of the villains knew what she was actually trying to sing, but whatever it was, it was severely off key. Courtney swiped a bucket from Duncan's hands and threw it at her, trying to shut her up. It worked, but the bucket also shattered upon impact, granting her seven murderous glares from her teammates. “Nice going idiot!” Sugar complained, rubbing her left arm, even though the bucket had hit her on the right.

“Oh gimme a break it's not like we were even planning to use them” Courtney protested.

“Well then what are we using, princess?” The blonde girl inquired with a sneer. Suddenly Alejandro stepped between them to break up the oncoming fight.

“Ladies, ladies, we can head back to the beach and grab a fire extinguisher or something” he explained, “weird stuff washes ashore all the time!”

“Great idea Alejandro!” Heather said, faking a gasp of awe. Suddenly she became aware of the sound of rushing water behind her. The other team had gotten the hoses working and were making progress on their fire. “We better move quickly though” she added “come on guys!”

Alejandro stopped her before she could dash back into the trees. “Wait a moment mon amor, we need someone to stay back and get started with the bucket.” He clarified, brushing off his romantic comment as if he hadn't even realised he said it.

Scott nodded in agreement, “Alright Jo and I will stay. The rest of you get going.” Jo looked less-than-willing, but she didn't even get a chance to argue before her team set off without her. She sighed, picked up the remaining bucket and stared at the inferno.

“Here Shawn, take this” Zoey said from across the field, handing one of the garden hoses to the zombie boy. He took it and began spraying towards the burning building. Progress was going steadily but they had quite a long way to go. Cameron was holding the third hose and was struggling slightly to reach the upper floors.

“Lemme help you with that mate” Jasmine said, grabbing the hose and lifting it up for a moment. The stream of water arced high in the air and flew straight through a window on the top floor, putting a few flames out. She gave the pink hose back with a smile and headed over towards Shawn.

“Thanks Jasmine,” Cameron said as she left. Then a sudden gasp from behind him made him jump slightly. He turned back to see Dawn pointing at a nearby tree, her eyes growing wild. The branches had begun to smoulder and smoke from the heat. Dawn was desperately trying to communicate with some birds living on the other side of the tree, warning them of the danger.

“We need to do something,” she said in a panic, “we can't let these poor creatures burn.” The rest of the team shared glances, put off slightly by the fact that ‘those creatures’ were majorly deformed.

“She's right,” Cameron agreed, breaking everyone else out of their indecisive trances. “If even one of these trees is set on fire, the whole forest could burn down!”

“I got it!” Zoey's voice cried as she rushed over with her hose, blasting the burning branch with bubbly water. The force almost ripped the arm of the tree clean off, but it somehow managed to remain attached. After another few seconds spent painting the entire tree with water, the red haired girl sighed with relief. “There, that should do it!”

“Indeed” Dawn agreed, finally able to move again, “thank you Zoey.” She cupped her hands and a small squirrel jumped into them. She stroked it with her finger. “You're safe now, little one.” She said to it, not seeming to mind the surprisingly sharp teeth it had.

“Zoey, that was incredible!” Cameron exclaimed.

“Heck yeah girl, you rock” Leshawna added.

“Aww thanks guys” Zoey said, a little embarrassed from all the praise, “but let's get back on track. We've got a challenge to win!” The team nodded and turned their attention back to their cabin.

[Dawn] “Chris is truly a monster for endangering these defenceless animals. It's clear now that I must win that million dollars and put a stop to his crimes.”

Over at the other cabin, Jo attempted to throw another bucket's worth of water on the flames. She stopped herself early again and only a few drops actually hit the cabin wall. “What's the matter? Scott asked, leaning on a nearby Tree, “can't take the heat?”

Jo glared at him as she ran back to the lake. “Shut up.” She responded quickly, brushing off the comment.

“You know, you'd be doing a lot better if you got closer to the fire.” Scott said as the athlete threw another few drops of water onto the cabin wall from about 10 feet away. Scott laughed to himself, “or are you scared of a little fire?”

“Shut. up.” she repeated, her face getting slightly red. “And what about you? Were you too scared to stay here on your own?”

The farm boy chuckled again. “Nah, we get fires bigger than this on the farm all the time.” He said casually.

“Then why did you keep me around?” Jo asked, “what do you want?”

“What I want is Courtney gone.” Scott explained with a scowl, “I gotta get back at her for that drawing.”

“Didn't you vote her out?” Jo questioned, walking over to focus on the conversation. “Doesn't that count as getting back at her?”

He looked at her like she had just said the sky was purple. “Errr no, that's getting even, not getting back.” He clarified, seeming annoyed that he needed too.

“I don't see what your issue is” Jo said, “all this over one drawi-”

“It was a rat tail!” Scott interrupted, raising his voice. “A rat tail, while we were dating! And not even a good rat tail, I've seen rats, they don't look like that” He shouted.
“I want her gone tonight, and I want you to help me.”

Jo considered for a moment, and then smiled. “Okay” she began, “let's say I do this incredibly petty favour for you. What's in it for me?”

“For you?” the ginger haired boy repeated with a grin, clearly he had already prepared his offer. “If we lose this challenge, and you help me get Courtney eliminated…” he sighed as he tabled the pitch, “I'll nominate myself to get voted off next time we lose.”

The jock was taken aback slightly, but she shook it off. “Okay” she retorted, “but you gotta beg for it.”

“Oh I'll beg,” Scott replied, “don't worry about that.”

Jo smiled to herself, satisfied with the offer. She outstretched her fist, “you've got a deal.”

Scott accepted the fistbump quickly. “Thanks” he said, with just a pinch of sincerity, “now you want me to take the bucket for a bit?”

“No need” Jo responded, as the sound of footsteps came into earshot. Their team was finally back.

[Scott] “Heh, no way I'm getting myself voted off, at least not without this bad boy.” He pulled out a wooden statue of Chris McLean, and tossed it between his hands. “Yeah Chris didn't even get a chance to mention this yet, but I work fast.”

[Jo] “I'm sure Scott has some sneaky plan to save himself.” She burst out laughing, “But I don't care! He's going to beg for his own elimination! That's worth it in itself.”

“Come on amigos” Alejandro called to his team as they ran, “we need to work quickly.”

“I got this.” Duncan shouted, sprinting ahead with a fire extinguisher. In fact, the entire team was carrying a red canister each. Duncan was even holding two extras for Scott and Jo.

“Nice,” Scott cheered, leaving his spot at the tree, “looks like the beach was a good call.” The jock and the farm boy both grabbed their canisters, and the entire team got to work. Quickly their fire began to die out, but they still had a lot of ground to make up. The Moral Mongeese watched in shock.

“Guys we need to speed this up!” Harold said urgently, his voice finally back to normal.

“There's not much faster we can go,” Cameron explained. “We only have three hoses!”

“Just stay focused everyone” Zoey called out, “we're almost done!” The fire on their cabin had died down considerably, and the front side was almost completely recovered. The Eels’ fire soon looked almost as good.

“Alright guys” Max said from the pink cabin, “now we just need an evil plan to finish those fools off!” He cackled for a moment, but stopped when the rest of the team started looking at him. “Err, does anybody have any ideas?” He asked.

Courtney looked around the area for a plan, when her eyes fell upon a ball of moss and leaves just a short distance into the forest. She recognised it immediately. “We could use that firestarter!” She called out.

“Great idea Courtney” Heather exclaimed with an exaggerated amount of enthusiasm, “Sugar go grab it!”

“Alright” the blonde girl responded as she ran into the forest, “leave it to me.”

Chef and Chris watched the action from a safe distance away in the helicopter. The co host turned to McLean, looking confused. “When did that firestarter get there?”

“Oh I threw it down just before the campers arrived, thought it would make things a little more explosive” Chris answered with his iconic laugh.

A concerned Chef looked over to the pilot, “might wanna back us up another 10.”

Back on the ground, Sugar retrieved the firestarter and headed back towards her team. Jasmine watched her run back with a confused expression. “Anyone know what that thing is?” She asked, pointing to the valley girl's payload.

The Australian was just a little shocked to hear Owen pipe up. “Oh that looks like that thing Izzy made the first time we went to Boney Island” he explained, “she threw it on the fire we were making.”

“And then what happened?” Jasmine dared, fearful of the answer.

“It went kaboom” Owen said with a giggle, before his face dropped at the sudden realisation. “EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

“I got the bomb!” Sugar cheered as she got back to her team. The Eels beamed at their now-assured victory.

“Alright Sugar” Heather cried with glee, “now throw it!”

Sugar made a big show of winding up her shot for a few seconds. Then finally she released, like a baseball player throwing an underhand pitch. The firestarter span as it flew through the air…and straight into the doorway of the pink cabin.

Instantly the fire grew into a massive explosion, a mushroom cloud forming in the sky as the flames rose. The force of the blast sent the villains tumbling back into the lake. When the smoke cleared, all that was left of their wooden mansion was a pile of ash.

The Moral Mongeese slowly creeped out from their cover (which had happened to be Owen's back). Everyone was stunned beyond words.

After a moment of dumbfounded silence, Courtney spoke first. She looked at Sugar with pure rage in her eyes. “What…the heck…DID YOU DO?”

Sugar stepped out of the water with pride. “I won us the challenge!” She announced, “look, no flames.” She gestured to the pile of ashes to make her point clearer.

“You destroyed our cabin!” Courtney screamed, as everyone else walked out of the pond. All except Jo, who seemed to prefer being half submerged for the time being.

“And all of the flames” Sugar pointed out, before turning her attention to the helicopter above them. “Hey host-guy,” she shouted, cupping her hands, “we won the challenge.” She grinned as the chopper touched down.

“Well,” Chris began as he stepped onto the burnt grass, “can't say I saw that coming.” He pondered the carnage for a moment before speaking. “While the Eels’ fire is technically out, they didn't actually extinguish it.”

“What?” Sugar demanded.

“Yeah it just ran out of fuel and burned out on its own, and you have no cabin left.” Chris explained slowly. “Can't really call that a victory. So that means…the Moral Mongeese win!”

The Mongeese shook off their confusion and cheered, before realising that their cabin was still on fire. “Oh don't worry about that” Chris said, noticing the winners’ concerned looks. “I'll get some interns to deal with it.” With That, the hero team went back to cheering.

“As for the Eels” the host announced, “I'll see you guys at the campfire tonight. One of you is going home. Although considering the state of your accommodation, that might not be such a bad thing. Heh heh.” And with that, he and Chef walked off into the forest.

[Sugar] “That is so unfair, we put the fire out! This whole game is rigged!”

[Heather] “Okay Sugar is dumb, like she's really dumb. But if whoever out there didn't want us to take advantage of stupid people, we'd all be smart.”

Night had fallen quickly on the island, and the Evil Eels had gathered on the same beach they had arrived. 8 tree stumps had been arranged in front of a podium, each with a different loser sitting on it. Next to them, the winning team sat on wooden benches, watching the proceedings play out. Chris walked up to the podium dramatically, with a plate of 7 delicious sweets.

“Welcome campers, to our first elimination ceremony of the season.” He began, savouring the fearful expressions in front of him. “I'm sure you all know the drill, I have 7 marshmallows, if you get one, you get to stay. If you don't, you have to leave. And you can't come back…ever.”

“Do you mean ‘can't come back’ as in we actually can't come back or as in one of us definitely will in a few days?” Courtney interrupted.

“Can't come back as in it's written into your contracts that you cannot return to the competition once eliminated under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.” Chris clarified impatiently. “Now let's get down to business.”

He reached for the marshmallows on the plate. “The safe contestants are…Heather. Max. Alejandro.” He threw 3 sweets out as he called the names. Each contestant grabbed theirs and ate it quickly. Chris continued his speech, “Duncan. Scott. Jo. You're all safe.” He flung 3 more marshmallows to the crowd, leaving only one on the plate.

“And that leaves us with two” the host announced, looking at Sugar and Courtney in turn, “but only one marshmallow.” He grinned at the fear in their eyes, clearly enjoying the tension of the moment. “The last contestant safe is…………..”

The two remaining girls began to panic as Chris dragged out the moment. Sugar almost pulled her hair out as Courtney scowled at her. Finally, the CIT had had enough of waiting and broke the silence. “Oh just give me mine already!” She shouted, holding her hand out to receive the prize.

Chris looked furious for a moment at the intrusion, but he shrugged it off and began to chuckle to himself. “I'd love to, Courtney, but I can't, because you two are tied 4-to-4!”

“What?” The brunette screamed. “That can't be right, recount the votes!”

“Okay.” the host with the most obliged, holding up 8 pieces of paper. “One for Sugar, one for Courtney…” he counted, until he reached the last two votes. “...four for Sugar and four for Courtney. Happy now?”

“Well it doesn't matter” Courtney grinned as she turned to Sugar, “because there's no way I'm losing a tiebreaker!”

The valley girl stood up to respond. “Too bad cause I ain't goin’ nowhere!”

“So you will be going somewhere?” Courtney corrected, still sitting down. Sugar needed a minute to process her retort, but that minute was cut off.

“Actually” Chris said, “there won't be a tiebreaker challenge. Instead, our peanut gallery of winners will decide who stays, and whoever they pick will join the Moral Mongeese!”

The winning team glanced at each other for a moment, before coming to a silent agreement. “Courtney” They all said in unison.

The host was slightly surprised by the quick answer, but rolled with it. “Well Sugar, looks like the people have spoken. The Dock of Shame is calling.” He gestured to a wooden pier at the end of the beach.

“That's not fair!” Sugar complained, stomping her foot in outrage.

“Actually it's completely fair, unless of course you have the McLean Invincibility Statue.” Chris explained. “Which would be pretty surprising, given that I didn't tell you there was one yet.” He turned to face the remaining 15 campers. “Oh by the way there was an Invincibility Statue hidden in the forest, forgot to mention that.”

[Scott] “The key word being ‘was’ hehe.” He pulled the statue from his pocket and tossed it into the air. “Like I said: I work fast.”

Sugar quickly headed towards the Dock of Shame, looking defeated. “Gosh darn it.” She muttered to herself in frustration. But as soon as her foot touched wood, she felt herself getting ripped off the ground. A giant bird had grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her airborne, carrying her far away from the island.

The rest of the campers looked on in shock. “What was that?” Zoey dared.

“Oh that thing?” Chris responded cheerfully. “That's our new Mutant Macaw of Misery!”

“Actually, I think that's a hawk.” Cameron corrected, “or at least it used to be a hawk.”

“Actually” the host responded in a mocking tone, “I don't really care. Anywho there's one more thing to take care of before we disperse for the night. With Courtney becoming a Mongoose the teams are looking pretty unbalanced, so Leshawna, you're taking her place on the Eels.

Leshawna, who hadn't been paying much attention to the proceedings, was post for words. “B-but why me?” She stammered. “What did I do?”

“Remember that one time you badmouthed all the other contestants behind their backs?” McLean queried sarcastically. “Seems pretty evil to me.”

“But that was season 2! Everyone already forgave me for that!” Leshawna retorted.

“And I don't care. Now swap places with Courtney.” Both girls considered protesting the arrangement further, but decided it was pointless and glumly took their new places.

[Leshawna] “Alright fine, if Chris wants bad girl Leshawna, then Chris is gonna get bad girl Leshawna. Because no matter which team I'm on, I'm here to win.”

“And with that” Chris declared, now standing alone at the campfire, “Sugar becomes our first contestant to get sent packing. Who will be next to fly on the wings of defeat? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Island! OF DOOM!”