Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Lucifer, fucking, damn it…
Of every demon in the seven rings. Of all the sinners, hellborn, goetian, and otherwise he’s worked for and made deals with over the years, Vesper just HAD to work for one of the most vile overlords out there:
Valen-fucking-tino
The imp-hybrid was currently kicking himself in the balls and gripping hard onto his (probably) dislocated shoulder for deciding to work for the sadistic sinner.
He absolutely should’ve expected to be betrayed by Valentino, but he didn't expect the moth to be fucking prepared by knowing his one weakness
***1 Hour Earlier***
“Angel Cakes, miel, I keep telling you, you gotta start eating less. Clients don't want to pound that ass of yours, you can't even see your own cock!” Valentino reprimanded his best pornstar, Angel Dust
The overlord was currently relaxing in his section of the Vee’s tower, accompanied by around a dozen guards, with his precious money-maker sitting on his lap
“Now go to the bathroom and wash up. We don't want you looking dirty for our special guest,” Valentino told him
“Ye-yes daddy…”. Angel took himself off Valentino rather quickly and walked towards the restroom
Little slut still has some sense after all, Valentino thought, taking a drag of his cigarette. He walked over to the bar, about to fix himself a drink, when an unseen demon kicked his front doors open
“Ah! There's the imp of the hour!” Valentino yelled
His return must mean the job was done
Which meant Valentino could put his plan into motion as well
Vesper walked in carrying what looked to be a sack large enough to stuff a sinner inside, which wasn't too far from what was actually inside the sack
He threw the sack down and undid the knot that kept it sealed, and what came out scared some of Valentino’s most hardened hellhound guards
Heads
Not just one or two heads, but fucking ten, all came spilling out of a sack like bowling balls
“So…” Valentino stood up and walked to the assassin, “I take it these are the heads of those little shit mafia pinchazo’s who thought they could fuck with me?”
The Royal Ripper was silent for a moment as he looked at the overlord, making everyone, even Valentino, nervous as fuck
For the past 10 years, Vesper, or as he’s alternatively known, “The Royal Ripper”, had gained a notorious reputation for taking on the most dangerous jobs imaginable
Specifically, assassinating overlords and royals
What was scarier was the fact that nobody ever saw him coming either. Dozens of royals and overlords alike had fallen to Vesper, and that is what gave him such a deadly reputation and the official (though he didn't much care) title of “Hell’s Deadliest Assassin”
The room was silent for a few more moments before Vesper finally answered Valentino, the overlord sweating bullets beforehand
"Yes"
Vesper looked down at the sack of heads he had just dropped on the ground, all still warm and freshly cut, still only feeling anger and emptiness inside
At least these fuckers got off easy, he thought, remembering some of the stuff he’s been told to do before to other targets
Valentino began to grin, something that was never good, no matter the case
“Excelente!” He proclaimed, and proceeded to pick up one of the heads
It was a fat one, and the sinner it USED to be attached to was a bat, so the head had huge ears and a triangular nose
“These little shit sinners kept thinking they could run me out of my own fucking territory! What are they, stupid?!” He joked, asking his guards the same question, who just nervously laughed at their boss's… joke
Vesper looked on again with a blank face, but nobody knew that due to the mask covering his head, a gift from Vox when he had first met the overlord almost a decade ago
To everyone else in the room, he was just “ The Royal Ripper”
If Vesper was honest, he was never a fan of that title to begin with. He didn't take dangerous-as-fuck assassination jobs because of any grudge or hatred towards Hell’s hierarchy
No, he did it for another reason…
Valentino pulled Vesper out of that thought, though, when he told the imp, “C’mon, at least laugh, it was funny”
Val was either trying to test Vesper’s patience or mock him, and really couldn't care about either, to be honest. HE just wanted to claim his “reward” and get the fuck out of here before something bad happened
For as fucked-up as Vesper was, even Valentino made him feel disgusted. Plus, even if he did laugh, he was wearing his helmet, so nobody would see him laugh anyway
And it’s not like it would be genuine…
Valentino’s grin turned into a sneer as “I said LAUGH, you little shit!” Val tried to grab him by his neck, but Vesper simply took a few steps back and avoided the overlord’s grasp
Vesper was starting to get annoyed
“Are we done here, Valentino?”
Now, the Royal Ripper was known to be an imp of few words whose actions spoke MUCH louder
So, if he started speaking with more than 3 words in a single sentence, there was a high probability that shit was about to hit the fan
If Valentino was going to betray him, Vesper at least preferred he’d do it quickly
Val grabbed his own wrist and rubbed it, annoyed that the imp dodged him. “Fuckin’ fine, little diablillo. How much do you want?”
Vesper’s face twitched in annoyance inside his mask
People knew who he was at this point (minus his actual identity). They knew he never wanted money, only demon deals
So why is he asking if I want money…?
“No,” Vesper said with anger, hoping Val would take the hint and just let him go. “You know what I want.”
Valentino only sneered
“Yes… I know how you operate…” The overlord strolled over to his guards and took one by the shoulder, a hellhound with brown fur and a muscular build
“Tell me… what was your name again?” Val asked his guard.
“Markus, sir,” The hellhound answered, slightly put off.
“Ah, thank you. Tell me, Mark, what do you know about the Royal Ripper?” Valentino questioned his guard
What is he up to… Vesper wondered. He had to plan his escape route now if shit was going to go south quickly
Which, most of the time, it did
“Um, well…” The guard was nervous, too nervous
He knows something I don't… Vesper thought. He also took note of every weapon that a guard held in each hand
“He’s killed dozens of demon Royalty, Overlords, and Sinners and Imps alike.”
“Yes… and? ” Val questioned his guard
“I..um… he doesn't take money.” The guard finally got out
“YES, exactly, Marco!” Valentino exclaimed, acting like he just won the lottery. “The Royal Ripper, as this little bastardo is called, takes favors from demons. Whether high nobility, Sin, or the average dirt-poor Imp. This little bastard uses demon deals as his payment.”
For as much as the overlord was pissing Vesper off at the moment, he wasn't wrong, not in the slightest
Vesper had never taken money for his jobs; he wasn't interested in money because he didn't do it for the money.
Valentino looked back at Vesper, still a sneer on his face. “Now tell me, Imp, would you like me to explain to my guards what a demon deal is, or do you?
Vesper only stared at Valentino. He didn't know where this was going, but he didn't like it, so he began counting how many guards were in the room
Four by the door, three by the window, three by the bar, two by the bathroom, and three by the balcony doors, 15 in total
If Vesper wanted to leave here alive, he had to move fast
“Demon deals-”
So Valentino is going to run his mouth then. Great, gives me more time to plan, Vesper told himself
“-my furry friends are soul-binding contracts between 2 or more demons.” Valentino was explaining this like he was explaining to toddlers why he just had to kill their parents and sell them on the black market
“And if the stories about the Royal Ripper are true, he’s collected more favors via Demon Deals than any other demon alive!” Valentino explained
Vesper could feel the tension in the room rising, like a pot of hot water about to boil over
Only two exits. I can use the bar as cover and use one of the hellhounds as a human shield to get to the door, Vesper thought
“You know what they ALSO say about Demon Deals, Roal Ripper? " Valentino looked straight at Vesper like he was insulted by him
"They say that when a demon with a demon's deal dies, all deals relating to that demon automatically transfer to the demon who killed the original owner."
Where the fuck is he going with this? Vesper cursed in his head. Either way, I need to be prepared
Valentino began to walk up to Vesper, reaching into his coat pocket for something, most likely a weapon
"Whatever happens next, ” Vesper warned, “it's not going to turn out the way you think.” Vesper explained, though he was already moving his hand to unholster one of his revolvers
Valentino merely laughed at Vesper’s warning, almost as if he were a child. “Oh, I know DAMN well who I'm tangling with, I always do my… research”
Finally, Valentino pulled the weapon out of his coat: Just a regular-ass knife
Regular knife, but not blessed. Good for me, I guess, Vesper thought, but what is he planning to do? The vest covers my shoulders and body
Vesper didn't like where this was going.
"It wont help,” Vesper told Valentino, the moth still circling him
“Yes, well… like I said, I do my research, and I know a certain part of you is vulnerable,” Valentino said with a disgusting smile, with his tongue out
Where is he going with this? Vesper thought.
Valentino certainly didn't know his real name, and he didn't have anyone to care for that could be hurt, so what could he mea—
OH FUCK—!
No sooner had Vesper finished that thought than Valentino unexpectedly grabbed his right arm and plunged the knife down into it. Vesper dropped to the floor on his knees in pure agony; the pain was immense, and it nearly made him pass out
But he couldn't, not yet
FUCK, how does he know?! Vesper bellowed in his head. He always kept his wrists and forearms covered, so the bandages weren't visible, so how the fuck did Valentino know that's where his one weak spot was
Questions for later, I’ve got to move fast
Valentino twisted the knife, still buried in his arm, enjoying seeing the imp writhe in pain. “Look at this, hounds: The fearsome Royal Ripper, on his knees!” Valentino said with glee.
The overlord was enjoying this, but he was distracted
He didn't see Vesper slowly cock his weapon in the holster
Need to keep him talking, Vesper thought
“H-How did y-you know?!” The imp-hybrid feigned being scared and in pain (the latter of which was really fucking easy). Valentino only smirked and twisted the knife deeper, the cool metal coming into constant contact with Vesper’s scars
“A little and VERY scarred birdy told me. Dont worry, sapo de fuego, you dont need to worry about that.”
The imp-hybrid was right near his face. He didn't think he could get a clean shot between the moth’s eyes, but he could undoubtedly hit his torso and knock him down
The one fucking time I don't bring my blessed revolvers…
“You know what else I know, imp? ” Valentino whispered into Vesper’s ear (or as close to an ear as you can get with a helmet on). “I know you’ve been sleeping with my top slut, so I'm going to make sure this is extra painful before I send you off to the void,” he breathed down the imp’s neck and looked at Vepser with a mischievous grin
Oh, dont I fucking wish… NOW!
Vesper pulled out his revolver and shot Valentino point-blank
Like he guessed, he was able to land two shots in the overlord's stomach before getting Val to let go of the knife, fall, and pounce onto the overlord of lust
“¡Quítate de encima de mí, maldito diablillo!” Valentino said angrily and in a panic. The overlord was pissed, and that was good.
Uncontrolled anger made people sloppy, as Vesper had learned over the years.
Vesper got off the overlord and ran, throwing himself behind the bar, and aimed at the 3 hellhounds who began firing at him. He fired back quickly and managed to hit one with a headshot, before he got a bullet sent straight into his shoulder
FUCK! He internally yelled in pain. This is going to be a bitch to get out
He unholstered his other revolver and aimed at the other two hellhounds, firing back quickly, landing damn near perfect headshots on the guards
Great, now I have time to think Vesper said sarcastically in his head, peering over the bar countertop to see his options
And what he saw was that the doorway was now blocked by ten more guards
Fuck, there goes my escape plan, Vesper thought, kicking himself for not going for the doorway first. He let his anger get the best of him for a moment, and he hit the bar wall in frustration, putting a hole in it
Vesper shot two more guards before peering over the left side of the bar and seeing the balcony door open, with only one guard
Fuck it, Plan B then
Before he left the bar, however, he had to take care of a pressing issue
The imp-hybrid quickly pulled the knife out of his arm, nearly passing out from the pain. You’d think that after twenty years of ignoring most of the pain he’s endured, it would hurt way less
He then turned to the other issue, specifically the one in his shoulder. The bullet wound would get infected quickly, and he couldn't risk that slowing him down under any circumstances
So, naturally, he took a bottle of whiskey and tore the cap off, and poured it down his wound to make sure it wouldn't be infected.
FUCK! He screamed in his head, all while bullets were still flying over it. It stung like hell and made him dizzy with pain, but he had to do it
“YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS, IT'S JUST ONE IMP! FUCKING KILL HIM NOW!!!” Valentino screamed, hunched over his couch, trying to stop his own bleeding
Oh yeah, the overlord was pissed now
Vesper quickly pulled off his helmet just to reveal his mouth and drank some of the whiskey, needing something hard to take the edge off from the pain
Alright, here's the part that is going to be a bitch
Vesper smashed the bottle over the counter and vaulted over it, running to the one guard by the balcony. He quickly stabbed him in the neck before shooting two other guards with his free hand
Blood poured out of the guard's neck and bottle like a geyser, splashing Vesper in it and causing the guard to slip onto the ground and die rather quickly
Now, the Royal Ripper had his back turned to the balcony, a limp and dead hellhound as a shield, and probably a 20-story drop behind him
Valentino told everyone to stop firing and slowly strolled toward him, acting like he had just cornered a scared kitten while still holding his own bullet wounds
The overlord thought he was scared when, in reality, Vesper was just annoyed at what he was about to do
“Ha ha ha… the poor little Royal Ripper backed into a corner, whatever will he do?” Valentino laughed. He pulled the gun out of his coat, a pink and zebra colored revolver, and a blessed one at that.
Vesper really was backed into a corner here, and he wasn't sure he would be able to make it out unscathed
But, just then, everyone froze once they heard something no one thought they would hear in this type of situation: a toilet flushing
Angel Dust walked out of the bathroom and saw the carnage all around him. An imp holding a dead hellhound as a shield, a broken bottle of whiskey in the hellhound's neck, and six guards surrounding a hunched-over Valentino. He put the pieces together quickly
“Uh, the fuck did I miss?”
Valentino only smiled, “Ah, Angel Baby, perfect timing. Give daddy one second to finish this little shit,” he explained as he pointed the gun back at Vesper.
“Just think how much respect AND favor I’ll now have, once everybody in the 7 rings knows that I put down the imp who’s killed dozens of royalty. Any last words, Ripper?”
Valentino was going to pull the trigger in seconds, and Vesper thought (not for the first time) that this might be the end
"Go stick your dick in a socket, but I guess you’re already doing that with Vox," Vesper insulted the overlord
“Little bastard…” Valentino sneered, beginning to squeeze the trigger
…until Angel Dust intervened
“But Daddy~,” he said seductively, “I want you now~.”
Angel was trying to buy Vesper time, and he was damn grateful. Valentino turned, and his expression was a mix of confusion and absolute fluster.
Vesper took the chance while he was distracted.
Allonsy!
Using all his strength, he tossed himself and the dead hellhound off the roof, plummeting to the streets of the Pentagram below
Valentino quickly turned his back but only looked on in confusion as the imp was suddenly gone. He knew the Royal Ripper was the greatest assassin in hell, but he threw himself off the balcony?
Valentino didn't like it a single fucking bit
“Send all of our men to check the ground floor and the streets. I want that little bastard's corpse in front of me, NOW!” Valentino demanded and yelled, though some guards noticed the fear in his voice.
The overlord knew that if he didn't kill the imp here and now, he would come back for revenge.
An idea popped into his mind quickly, however, to make sure the Royal Ripper wouldn't come anywhere near here, at least for a while.
He took out one of his cigarettes and began to light it
“Uh, Val?” Angel question. He hoped Val wouldn't blame him for letting Vesper escape, but he couldn't just stand there and let him be executed
Valentino turned his head and screamed at Angel, “STREET DUTY, NOW!!!”. Angel looked terrified but internally grateful that it was the only punishment he was getting. He ran off down the hall quickly as Val took a drag of his smoke
“Someone call 666 News, tell them I’m putting a bounty on The Royal Ripper.”
Some of the guards looked tense at this notion; it looked like Val was ready to dismember any of them if they questioned the order
“Um, right away, sir. What do we tell them exactly how much the bounty is worth?”
Valentino took another drag of his cigarette and answered without a beat, “Seven million, plus an extra two million if they bring me him alive.”
No one escaped the Vee’s and lived to tell the tale…