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It's not that Eric sees Ilnaz as a girl , exactly.
Nobody does, really, at least as far as Eric knows. But he's pretty sure they don't see him as a boy , either. He exists in some kind of outside space. He's just — Ilnaz. He's the weird Russian tranny who plays guitar in their band and threatens to stab people every five minutes. He's enough of a boy for Vlad to fuck him, maybe, but that's not saying much; Vlad is a manwhore.
And yeah, okay, he's also hot.
Eric can say that, because Ilnaz is technically a girl. He has a pussy, he has tits, he sits down to piss. His bone structure is too feminine, Eric tries over and over again to convince himself, for Ilnaz to ever properly pass as a dude, anyway. And he's short. And —
Look, the point is, Eric is straight, but Ilnaz is still hot. And that's fine.
Eric has heard — from both Dylan and Vladislav — that Ilnaz is also, categorically, a slut. Maybe they're not close, but it doesn't really matter, does it? If he's nice enough, Eric might get laid. There's also a bonus in there of pissing off Vlad, although Eric refuses to think about exactly why he wants to piss Vlad off in the first place. It's a win-win, really. Eric can finally lose his virginity properly , to a girl, and he doesn't even have to think about anything gay. Easy.
That's how he finds himself waiting at Ilnaz's locker after school.
"Hey," Eric says as Ilnaz finally approaches his locker. He smiles; Ilnaz looks wary. "Are you busy?"
Ilnaz stares up at him with an unimpressed, flat expression. "Maybe, maybe no," he says, accent just as strong as always. Eric has always wondered why he doesn't speak English as fluently as Vlad does after living here for so long, but it seems like a touchy subject, so he's never brought it up. He watches as Ilnaz opens his locker, shuffles things around, and grabs his backpack. "What you want, huh? You never talking to me alone."
"I know. That's — I mean, that's why I wanted to." Eric shrugs, following Ilnaz as he unceremoniously closes his locker and starts to walk away. Ilnaz glances sideways at him, expression unreadable. "You're obviously cool. You're friends with the same people as me. It's just — I don't know. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."
"Hm." Ilnaz seems unimpressed. He shifts his backpack to the other shoulder. "What you want really? "
"I just wanna hang out, man," Eric shrugs, nervous. He's usually good at talking to girls; he can't figure out what's so different about Ilnaz. Maybe it's just the fact that Ilnaz is genuinely cool, at least compared to the girls Eric usually talks to.
Ilnaz frowns and mumbles something in, presumably, Russian. Then he says, "Fine. You smoke?"
Eric nods, and as they emerge from a side door, he pulls out his pack of cigarettes and offers one to Ilnaz. Ilnaz accepts it, then holds out his hand for Eric's lighter. Instead of handing it over, though, Eric leans in and lights it for him.
Ilnaz's eyes go wide with surprise. Eric smirks. Once the cigarette is lit, Ilnaz turns away quickly, taking a drag. He starts to walk even faster, and Eric has to jog to catch up.
"Where we're going, then?" Ilnaz asks, glancing sideways at Eric. "My house is no good."
Eric pauses. He hadn't thought that far ahead. "D'you smoke weed?"
Ilnaz scoffs, like the question is funny. "Yes, stupid. I'm fifteen, not baby."
"Well, I don't know," Eric huffs. "I know a place, then."
Ilnaz nods, apparently pleased. "You have car, yes?"
"Yeah." Eric points it out in the lot, and Ilnaz makes a beeline for it. For someone so short, he sure is fucking fast. He gets there before Eric and stands by the passenger's side, still smoking his cigarette. Ilnaz looks him up and down as he comes closer. It seems like he's considering something, but Eric's not sure what.
"Just park somewhere quiet," Ilnaz says, and Eric nods uncertainly, unlocking the car. Once they're out of the parking lot and on the road, both of them seem to relax. There's still a certain awkward tension between them, but at least nobody else is around to see them together alone. Eric can't figure out why the idea of someone knowing what he's doing bothers him — Ilnaz is a girl, after all — but he doesn't think about it too hard.
He decides to head for the backroad spot where he usually goes to smoke weed with Vlad. In the back of his mind somewhere, Eric wonders if Ilnaz is going to try and stab him if he makes a move, or something. Maybe this isn't such a good idea, but he's already here, so... Fuck it.
"You ever listen to KMFDM?" Eric asks, turning on the stereo. Ilnaz nods, so Eric turns on the stereo. For a few minutes, the only sound in the car is Sascha Konietzko's voice.
"You know I date Vladik now, yes?" Ilnaz says eventually, breaking the somewhat awkward silence.
"Huh?" Pause. Eric could just let it go, but something about it bothers him. "But — isn't he gay? And you're not, like..."
Eric's gaze is focused on the road, so he doesn't see Ilnaz lean over to smack him until his hand makes contact with the side of Eric's head. Eric sputters, nearly swerving, and leans away. "Jesus Christ! What?!"
Ilnaz says something angry-sounding in Russian — or Tatar? Eric wouldn't know — then finishes, "— I am boy, stupid! You have no eyes?"
Eric frowns at the road, finally pulling into the woods. "I know that you're trans-whatever! I just meant, like — doesn't he like dick?"
Ilnaz huffs and leans back in his seat, arms crossed. "Fuck you."
Eric turns down a dirt road that leads back to a big, empty field. He parks his car there and turns to face Ilnaz, shutting off the radio. After a few seconds of stewing in his own annoyance, Eric bites the bullet and swallows his aggression.
"I didn't mean to offend you, or anything. I'm sorry," he tries. "Why did you bring him up, anyway?"
Ilnaz glowers at him for an uncomfortably long time. Then he sighs, and the tension eases out of his shoulders somewhat. "He cheats on me," Ilnaz says, matter-of-fact. "So I cheat on him."
Eric takes a moment to process what he just heard. Is Ilnaz saying — is he offering — what? It's that easy?
"You're fucking weird, you know that?" he says finally, and Ilnaz snorts. "What, you're gonna let me fuck you? Just like that?"
"If you're shutting up and doing it already, yes," Ilnaz says, opening the car door and getting out. So much for smoking weed. Eric scrambles to follow, forgetting momentarily to unhook his seatbelt in the process. When he finally manages to get out, ego bruised, Ilnaz is standing on his side of the car with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. He looks mildly amused.
"Won't Vlad..." Eric starts, but Ilnaz doesn't give him time to finish the thought. He pulls him down into a rough kiss by the front of his shirt. Eric muffles a surprised noise against Ilnaz's mouth, but he still kisses back, not really sure what other options he has. His lips, Eric notes, are chapped and dry; not at all what he's come to expect from the handful of times he's kissed girls. Ilnaz wastes no time in reaching between them for the front of Eric's jeans, grabbing him through the fabric a little too hard.
"Jesus, slow down," Eric says, and Ilnaz rolls his eyes. He doesn't answer, instead simply dropping to his knees in the tall grass. Eric has a stupid, passing thought of warning him about the possibility of ticks. He flushes and stutters as Ilnaz undoes his belt buckle and jeans, then yanks them down. God, he hopes this place is really as secret as he thinks it is. If anyone found them like this, it would look like Eric was getting sucked off by a dude, and he's not —
All thoughts of getting caught fly out the window when Ilnaz wraps a hand around Eric's half-hard cock and starts stroking him. It's a familiar and an unfamiliar sensation all at once; Ilnaz's hands are smaller and dryer, and the angle and grip are different. Eric groans and tangles his fingers in Ilnaz's hair. Once he's fully hard — which happens so quickly that Eric almost gets lightheaded — Ilnaz leans in and wraps his mouth around the head of Eric's dick, making Eric groan loudly and reach out with his free hand to hold onto the roof of his car.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Eric breathes. "I heard you were easy, but holy shit."
Ilnaz glares up at him but doesn't pull away, just keeps taking more of Eric's length into his mouth each time he bobs his head. This is an entirely new sensation for Eric; nothing he's been able to do by himself compares to the wet heat of Ilnaz's mouth, or the expert suction he applies with his cheeks and tongue. It's almost too much — and to Eric's horror, after only about thirty seconds of Ilnaz blowing him, he realizes that he's already close to orgasm. Eric pushes Ilnaz back slightly, trying to buy himself more time.
Ilnaz pulls off with a quiet, slick noise and starts to stroke him again. Judging by his smirk, he knows exactly why Eric just pushed him away. He says something in that other language, but when Eric just stares blankly, Ilnaz tries again in English. "You're, uh — like Mary?" Eric blinks, too busy trying not to come immediately to try and parse that. He wishes Ilnaz would stop jerking him off for a second, but it feels too good for Eric to tell him to stop. A pause, quiet muttering, then — "Virgin! You're virgin?"
Eric makes a face and looks away; Ilnaz laughs. "I just — I never got around to it," he mutters. There's no way in hell he's ever going to tell Ilnaz about what happens between him and Vlad when they drink together, and especially not right now. Ilnaz leans in to flick his tongue over the tip of Eric's dick again, and Eric's breath catches in his throat. He makes a sort of pathetic whining noise. "I — listen —"
"Is okay — kind of sweet," Ilnaz teases, and Eric gives his hair a sharp tug. Ilnaz moans shamelessly, which is not helping Eric's — condition. "I make you come, then you fuck me. Yes? You get up again quickly?"
Eric just nods dumbly, and with that, Ilnaz takes him into his mouth again. Eric lets go of Ilnaz's hair so he can clap a hand over his mouth and muffle his moans. His fingers scrabble for purchase against the dusty roof of his car as Ilnaz takes his cock all the way to the base. That's when Ilnaz hums, looking up at him through his lashes. Just like that, Eric is finished. He comes in Ilnaz's mouth without warning — though to his credit, Ilnaz seems unbothered as he sits back and swallows.
"Holy fuck," Eric pants, watching Ilnaz wipe his mouth with the back of his hand and stand up. He feels a little stupid just standing there with his dick out, so he quickly tucks himself in and pulls his jeans back up — but he doesn't bother fixing his belt.
Ilnaz isn't paying him any attention, though. Eric just stands there sort of awkwardly as Ilnaz pulls open the door to the backseat, then shuffles his own jeans and underwear down to his knees. He looks over his shoulder at Eric with a distinctly unimpressed, almost bored expression.
"Hurry," Ilnaz snaps, and Eric is annoyed with himself for the way he immediately rushes over to stand behind Ilnaz. Ilnaz pushes his ass out toward Eric, spreading his legs. Eric, not really sure what to do, finds himself stumbling over his words once again.
"What do you want me to, uh—"
Before he can finish his embarrassingly virginal question, Ilnaz interrupts him. " Fingers , retard."
"You know, you're really good at making me feel stupid," Eric says, and Ilnaz snorts, dropping his head onto his forearms. Eric grabs Ilnaz's ass with both hands and squeezes, then slides one down further between his legs. He feels Ilnaz's entrance, but keeps sliding down until he finds his clit. Ilnaz gasps as Eric brushes the pad of his forefinger over it, then circles it slowly.
"Surprised you're finding the clit," Ilnaz says, rolling his hips down and back. Eric frowns, digging his nails into Ilnaz's hip. Ilnaz sighs, apparently enjoying the slight sting. "Should make marks — making Vlad jealous."
"Can you not talk about your boyfriend?" Eric mumbles, trying to focus on continuing to tease Ilnaz's clit with his fingertip.
"If I keep talking about him, you will hurt me?" Ilnaz asks, voice low and scratchy. He glances over his shoulder at Eric, smirking lazily. Strangely, Eric's heart flutters. "Because I maybe keep talking, then."
This time, Eric draws his free hand back and smacks Ilnaz's ass, eliciting a surprised yelp. Ilnaz drops his head back down against his forearms, and Eric smiles to himself. So what Vlad had said about Ilnaz being a masochist might be true, too.
"Fuck me," Ilnaz demands, and Eric can hear the way his breathing is a little heavier now. He hums in acknowledgment, but continues to tease for a few more seconds before finally sliding one finger into Ilnaz's cunt. He's tight and slick, and Eric feels his cock start to get hard again already just thinking about what it'll feel like once he's finally inside him.
Ilnaz whimpers and rocks backward impatiently. "More," he says, and Eric is too into it now to bother being annoyed at his bossiness anymore. He adds another finger and starts to fuck Ilnaz with them in earnest. Ilnaz gasps and twitches beneath him, rocking backward eagerly.
"God, I can't wait to get inside you," Eric blurts, though he's immediately embarrassed at how eager he sounds. "Do you want, like — uh — do you have a condom?"
Ilnaz shakes his head. "Don't need. Fuck me now," he orders, "Or I kick your ass."
Eric — horny and inexperienced, but who absolutely knows better — decides to just take his word for it. It takes him a moment to get his pants back down, position himself properly, and finally align his cock with Ilnaz's entrance. Eric hesitates there for a moment, hardly able to believe that it was so easy to lose his virginity. He wants to savor the moment, but Ilnaz has other ideas.
Ilnaz snaps something unintelligible and pushes back. The head of Eric's cock slips inside him way more easily than Eric had expected, and the sensation startles a surprised groan out of him. He leans forward, nearly slamming his head on the roof of his car, and grabs Ilnaz's hip with one hand.
"Tight," Eric breathes as he slides in deeper. Ilnaz grunts, rolling his hips down and back. "Fucking — shit."
"Shut up," Ilnaz sighs, and starts to sort of ride him. Eric, overwhelmed and barely able to think, just sort of stands there and lets Ilnaz take over for a few seconds. It's not long before Ilnaz gets annoyed, though, and reaches backward to grab Eric's hip and pull him in harder.
" Fuck me, you limp-dick fucking virgin ," Ilnaz hisses. Eric feels a flash of embarrassment and indignation. Careful not to hit his head on the roof of the car, he bends down over Ilnaz's back and shoves his face into the seat. One hand tangled in Ilnaz's hair and the other gripping his hip tightly, Eric starts to fuck him in earnest. It's a little clumsy, but it's rough and hard, and it's apparently exactly what Ilnaz had been trying to goad him into the whole time.
Ilnaz moans, loud and shameless, and turns his head a little so he can breathe. Eric keeps holding him down while he fucks him, breath coming in harsh pants and low grunts. "You're a demanding bitch for someone so easy," Eric says. "You know I'm straight, right? You pretend you're so fucking stuck-up, but you'd really just drop your fucking pants for any guy who'll stick his dick in you."
"Not straight," Ilnaz protests, gripping at anything he can reach. He ends up clinging to a sweater Eric has sitting in the backseat, fingers curled tightly into it. "You — fucking boys, not straight."
"No, I'm just smart enough to be nice about it 'cause I know you'll let me fuck you if I am," Eric laughs, bringing his hand down hard on Ilnaz's ass again. Ilnaz whines, brow furrowed, and shoves at Eric a little. "You're just a weird fucking tranny. The only reason anybody treats you like a boy is 'cause you'll let them fuck you."
"Shut up," Ilnaz says sharply, but his attitude has lost its bite; Eric has all the power here now. He grabs Ilnaz's arm and bends it behind his back, pressing down firmly enough that he feels the fragile bones in his wrist grind together.
"Practically begged me to fuck your pussy, and you wanna pretend you're a boy? Pathetic. You have issues, Ilnaz." Eric is close again, he can feel it, but he tries to push it away. The power trip is almost as good as the sex. Knowing that Ilnaz is pissed off, that he probably wishes he hadn't done this, but that he can't get away even if he tries — and he is trying, now. He's trying to pull out of Eric's grasp, trying to kick at him a little, but he's also still whining and whimpering every time Eric drills into him.
"You know you're a girl, don't you?" Eric says, using the hand in Ilnaz's hair to shove his face even harder into the seat. He hears Ilnaz wheeze, trying desperately to pull in another breath, but doesn't let him for several long seconds. Ilnaz gasps and whines once Eric finally lets him breath. He struggles to say something, but Eric doesn't give him enough time before forcing his head down again.
"Hope I knock you up. Maybe that'll teach you to stop pretending you're a boy. Boys don't have cunts, and they sure as fuck don't let any guy who breathes in their direction fuck them."
"Fuck you," Ilnaz finally manages to gasp, voice ragged. Eric laughs. He stops talking, focusing entirely now on fucking Ilnaz as hard and fast as he can. Ilnaz keeps making little noises, muffled whines and groans, keeps mumbling something in whatever-the-fuck language.
It doesn't take long to bring Eric to orgasm, and when he comes, he doesn't bother pulling out. With a hoarse shout, Eric finally tips over the edge, filling Ilnaz's cunt with cum. Ilnaz whines some kind of complaint, but Eric ignores him yet again, riding out his orgasm with shallow thrusts for a good thirty seconds until he's exhausted himself. When he pulls out, he doesn't step back; rather, he keeps a hand pressed into the center of Ilnaz's back, holding him where he is.
"Hang on," Eric says, grabbing his phone from the front pocket of his hoodie.
"What you're doing?" Ilnaz demands, kicking out at him and straining to look over his shoulder. "Fucking asshole, should fucking stab you—"
Eric dodges Ilnaz's kicks and holds him still with one hand, using the other to snap a picture of his pussy where it's still leaking cum. He smirks to himself, sends it to Vlad without context, and puts it away. Only then does Eric finally shuffle backwards, bending down to pull his jeans and underwear back into place. Ilnaz rushes to do the same, whirling on Eric in a tide of indignation and fury.
"Fucking asshole," Ilnaz repeats, storming closer. "Lucky I don't rip off fucking head, fucker."
Eric raises his hands to either side of his head, meeting Ilnaz's eyes. "Tell me you didn't get off on it, and I'll say sorry."
Ilnaz hesitates. Eric glances down and sees that he has his pocketknife in his hand, but it's still folded shut. He waits.
"Fuck you," Ilnaz says, but he looks almost defeated. He shoves Eric in the center of his chest and turns away, trudging through the tall grass and climbing back into the passenger's side of the car.
Eric watches him for a second before following, amused smirk plastered onto his face. He gets in, too, and starts the car. He pauses then, though, and glances over to Ilnaz, who's staring angrily out the window. Some small part of Eric starts to feel bad.
"Hey, man — you know I didn't mean that shit, right?" Eric says. He clears his throat awkwardly. "I was just trying to get you off. And — I mean —"
"I know you're faggot," Ilnaz interrupts, glancing over at him. He seems slightly less pissed off, but now Eric is annoyed again. "I think maybe you don't yet know, but I know."
"Whatever, man. Fuck off," Eric mutters, and turns the radio up so he doesn't have to hear the way Ilnaz is laughing at him.