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He never understood the mad rush of shoppers the week before Christmas. How did so many people wait until the last minute? Christmas was the same day every year. Hell, some people started celebrating it on November 1st. It always amazed him how his childhood neighborhood would change from Halloween to Christmas overnight.
He really hated that this year he was one of them, adding to the chaos, stress, and mayhem of what should be a time for family and reflection before the start of the new year. Usually by this time, all of his gifts would be wrapped, nothing fancy just festive paper and a tag, and would already be deposited under his parent’s tree.
He was a planner, always had been. He had a spreadsheet for everything. His whole life was planned out in perfect little boxes, always updating and adjusting based on the set formula.
Usually.
There was nothing usual about this Christmas.
************
Parking the Lincoln was almost too daunting of a task. Had he needed to circle the parking lot one more time he would have just given up. This was too much. He had never experienced the Christmas rush before. Honestly, he thought Stevie had made the whole thing up just to mess with him. Why did so many people wait until the last minute to shop? He knew why he was here, his dad had just sprung this stupid Christmas Eve Party on all of them this morning. He had no choice. He was in charge of the decorations, although he highly doubted there would be anything aesthetically pleasing for him to choose from at this establishment.
He hated to compromise his vision, even if it was only going to be witnessed by the maybe ten people attending this last minute soirée.
His style, his taste, was the only thing he had going for him right now.
It was not lost on him that the pop-up Christmas World that had taken over the General Store when he had failed to submit his incorporation paperwork on time had closed early on the day before the holiday it was named after, perpetuating this trek all the way to Elmdale. Had his store become a reality, he would no doubt have had beautiful one of a kind handmade decorations and ornaments. But, like everything else in his life, he was unable to succeed on his own. Had he had some help, someone other than a smiling Ray who just didn’t get it, maybe. Maybe he could have done it.
Stevie was the only one who had actually believed in him. She was in her own weird way encouraging him to try again in the new year. He just didn’t know if he could handle the disappointment a second time.
************
It had only been a handful of weeks, but the sadness in his mother’s voice had won out in the end. He was going home, whatever that meant, for Christmas. He tried his best not to think about the packed suitcase ready to go in his tiny rented room. It would be so easy to open it back up and throw everything he owned into it. Then he would have no reason to return to this failed experiment. This failed attempt of doing something for himself for once.
But then again, could it truly be considered a failure if he never actually gave it a chance?
Between texts from Rachel, his mother, his old boss, and half of his cousins he was starting to believe that it was. None of them understood. He needed to start over somewhere new, somewhere he could be free from prying eyes to figure himself out. Somewhere he could try.
Somewhere where everyone fits in.
He had purposely not packed his favorite light blue sweater, or his worn-in university sweatshirt, or his as yet unread book The History of the Toronto Blue Jays. He had even left his beloved guitar propped up safely in the corner of his room. Insurance that he would return, that he would not give up just yet. Insurance that no amount of begging or crying or guilt-tripping would make him return to that world, to that relationship, to that man he used to be.
He regretted, for not the first time, that he had lost the courage to leave in the spring. He couldn’t help but feel like it would have been an easier transition. Longer daylight hours, warmer weather, baseball, hiking—but no, he had waited until the darkest, coldest time of the year.
It was no wonder he had caved to his mother’s wishes. The town did not offer many social opportunities, compounded again because of the season. Sure he could spend his evenings at the Wobbly Elm, drinking his insecurities away. Drinking until he could muster up the courage to openly look at another man, smile at another man, maybe flirt a little. But even he realized that was too depressing to consider, he didn’t want to rely on alcohol. He didn’t want anything to cloud his judgment or the experience.
He didn’t know what to do, but his Interflix queue was dwindling down night by lonely night.
If not for his roommate/landlord’s invitation tonight, he would be spending yet another evening alone in his room. A last minute Christmas Eve Party, in a motel no less, seemed apropos of his life at the moment.
************
Now he would only admit this under extreme duress, but, he was actually kind of pleased. He had been able to find a box each of classic, understated gold, silver, and black ornaments amidst the gaudy, tacky, mass-produced eyesores. The few strands of soft white lights he found would cast a lovely glow over everything. He even found a glittering gold star to sit atop the tree.
His parents were tasked with picking out said tree. He could only hope that they would do better picking out a tree than they had done picking out the monstrosity he was now driving. He should have insisted on going with them, but how bad could it be? A tree was a tree. Not even two minutes after having that thought he received a frantic text from Alexis telling him to pick up like a ton of super glue along with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree gif. Good grief. He was going to need some candy to get through this night.
He made his way over to the seasonal aisle located on the grocery side of the big box store. He hoped that all the frazzled parents had left more than just the generic chocolates for him to choose from.
************
Well, the gift card selection had been a bust. He would have to give cash this year. He doubted the kids would mind. He needed to add a pack of candy or something to make it appear intentional, instead of like the last minute, hail mary that it was. He was relieved that he had ordered his parents, grandma Brewer, and his cousin Sarah’s gifts well in advance.
All he needed now was the wrapping supplies then he could head over to the grocery side of the store.
************
The candy aisle was in complete disarray. His basket, however, now held an exorbitant amount of Ferrero Rocher. The hazelnut confections were his favorite. He was glad that most kids did not have a sophisticated enough palate and did not even want to try them. He stopped short when he saw the hot chocolate. Warmth that had nothing to do with the store’s utility bill spread all through his body. He scanned the shelves quickly, hoping to find the flavor he wanted. He was about to give up when he spotted the green box. He sighed, it was the last pack and it was going to be his to enjoy. He might even consider sharing the others with Alexis and Stevie.
************
None of the candy options were very promising, either they were too expensive or they were some weird off-brand. The fact that his cousins would probably kill him for giving their kids even more candy sealed the deal. He continued down the aisle, he was running out of time. They were too old for stuffed toys even though the little penguins were pretty cute if he did say so himself. That left hot chocolate. Okay, that could work. The shelves were pretty bare at this hour, but he saw the exact pack that he needed. From what he could tell it was the only pack like that left.
************
The box was inexplicably heavy, no that wasn’t it, it was stuck on something. Oh for fuck’s sake, some frat boy was trying to make off with his hot chocolate!
“Um, excuse me? This,” he tried to pull the pack out of the large, pale hand, “is mine.”
The man’s thick, blunt fingers just held on tighter.
This could not be happening.
************
Had you asked him yesterday, or hell, 30 seconds ago if he believed in fate, the answer would have been a resounding no. That would be ridiculous, something a corporation made up to sell flowers, candy, and movie tickets. But this was not yesterday, nor was it 30 seconds ago. This was now, and by some twist of fate the most beautiful man he had ever seen was attempting to call dibs on his hot chocolate.
“I’m sorry, yours? I believe I had my hand on it first which, and you’re going to have to agree with me on this, makes it mine.”
“Okay, I don’t think I have to do anything.”
************
Oh no, this was not good, frat boy here was really hot, and really snippy, and really not letting go.
“Okay, look, I just, I need this pack of hot chocolate. It’s the only one with five different flavors. Do you think, in the spirit of Christmas, you could get one of these other sets and let me have it?”
Those puppy dog eyes should be illegal, they had to be against the Geneva Conventions. He needed to focus, stake his claim, but those eyes, god, those eyes were lethal.
“Why can’t you get another pack? I need this one!”
“Surely between the two of us we can figure out some sort of compromise—“
He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the blatant name-fishing, and also at himself for how pleased he was that this guy wanted to know his name. It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous. But it did not stop him from quickly blurting out his name.
“David.”
“David.” Fuck, he really liked the way his name sounded on those lips. “I’m Patrick. I would shake your hand, but I don’t trust you to not run off with this.”
************
He jerked the pack towards him, and oh, god, all that did was cause the man, David, to stumble forward into his space. Now he had to look up to meet his eye.
“Come on David, you wouldn’t deny my nieces and nephews hot chocolate on Christmas, would you?”
“You’re giving your nieces and nephews a dollar box of hot chocolate for Christmas? What is this? Les Mis?” How high could those eyebrows go? He wanted nothing more than to find out.
“I mean, I need to maintain my favorite uncle status and all.”
“Hmph. That highly suggests that you are also their only uncle.” He said it with a haughty air, but he could see how difficult it was for him to hide his smile.
************
The laugh he received for that barb lit up the man’s entire face. He was breathtaking. Could those eyes be any more expressive?
“Well, I’m hoping the $20 that I slip inside each box will give me the edge over the competition.”
“Ah yes, good old fashioned bribery, the hallmark of any holiday.”
“See. You do get it. Now are you going to let me have it or not?”
The blush that quickly spread up his neck at that little innuendo was very interesting, and very appealing. God, there were in fact many things he would let this snippy man have if he wanted them.
************
Teasing, attraction, desire, and laughing all melded together—is this what flirting was supposed to feel like? It was addictive.
Was he even capable of being cool right now? David was just staring at him, he really needed to say something else, find some solution to the situation they had found themselves in.
“Okay, David. Why don’t you tell me why you have to have this particular pack of hot chocolate and then we’ll decide from there who gets it. You already know why I need it.”
“Okay? Um, is there going to be some sort of scoring system or are we involving a third party? How exactly are we determining the rightful owner since we both, even though you are incorrect, think we grabbed the box first?”
Addictive as hell, or maybe it was just David, whatever it was he leaned into it.
“I guess we could always arm wrestle for it.”
************
Of course frat boy would want to have some sporty competition.
“Frat boy?”
Fuck, he said that out loud. Now the guy would never let him have it. The package of hot chocolate or anything else. Although, he did have an amused smile playing around his lips, so maybe this little thing between them wasn’t ruined after all.
“In my defense, you are dressed the part, and unfortunately there’s no way I could compete with“ he reached his free hand out and squeezed his bicep teasingly, “those arms. So, you’ll have to come up with some other way to beat me.”
************
He might combust. David was looking at him like, well, like that. His hand was warm on his arm, and if he flexed a little, well that was no one’s business but his own.
“What do you have against fraternities David?”
“Nothing as long as their members keep their hands off of my hot chocolate!”
Oh god, David was ridiculously cute, and he seemed to be enjoying their back and forth just as much as he was.
************
His pouty mouth twitched and he knew he was about to be teased. There was no denying that he was here for it.
“Ah, yes. Article One Section A of the Alpha Kappa Psi bylaws. Keep your hands off of ‘David’s’ hot chocolate.”
“Alpha Kappa Psi! That’s a business fraternity! Here I was under the impression that you were some sporty, meathead jock type and in reality you’re just a stuffy business n—“
What the hell was wrong with him? How many times was he going to insult this guy? Was he even remotely capable of playing it cool tonight?
“Numbers guy?”
He pinched his lips together and started nodding his head at an alarming rate.
************
“I think that’s what you were about to say. I’m just a stuffy business numbers guy. You know, I think I should have that added to my business cards. It really flows off the tongue.”
Riling David up was his new favorite thing. He was clearly in the habit of using his whole body to express himself. Being tethered to the box was limiting him. He could only imagine what the full experience would be like.
“So again, in my defense, my dad was AKPsi, and he would absolutely fall into that category.”
************
“Okay David. It’s getting late, are you going to make your case or just let it go?” He raised his non-existent eyebrows and cocked his head to the side in challenge.
“So. This is the only pack that has Mint Hot Chocolate in it. My, um, my nanny always made it for me on Christmas Eve.”
He wasn’t sure why he was sharing so much. Okay, that wasn’t true. It was those damn eyes. They were like veritaserum, or sodium pentothol, or MDMA—or maybe they just had an open vulnerability about them that he was helpless against. Maybe it was just Patrick.
“My parents were never, well, that doesn’t matter. I just, I saw it and it made me think of her. I haven’t seen her in a really long time.”
Ugh, he could feel the tears starting to form, he needed to reel it in, the last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of this beautiful stranger. In a grocery store. On Christmas Eve. Over hot chocolate. Why was he always too much?
************
He couldn’t imagine what his life would have been like if his parents had not been fully present during his childhood. For the first time, he was glad that he wouldn’t miss out on the big Brewer Christmas this year.
That’s when it hit him. He would let this man have anything he wanted. Anything to keep that sad look off his face. Anything to make those tears go away. Anything, starting with this last pack of mint hot chocolate.
He doubted the kids would even notice anything aside from the money anyway.
“Oh! Mommy look, look! It’s the one with the penguin!”
The little girl was bouncing up and down, overjoyed the way only a kid could be at Christmas.
************
And just like that, a third hand had laid claim to his package. Her little, hopefully clean, fingers were tracing over all the different animals.
“You said we could stay up and make it before Santa comes!”
He was still getting used to putting others needs and wants ahead of his own. He was a work in progress. He thought back to Adelina and then to his own mother and wanted nothing more than for this little girl to get to have all the memories.
The fact that Patrick had caved almost immediately with an “oh well” shrug of his shoulders, let him know he was on the right track.
************
He watched as David had an intense internal struggle before finally accepting this unforeseen outcome. He nodded his head resignedly and gently handed the box over to her.
“I kind of hate that you’re so nice. I am 87% sure that I would not have given it to her on my own.”
“Awww, thank you David. And for the record I also think that you’re a good person.”
“Okay, it’s just that I said nice.”
“I know.”
They stood there just looking at each other. Smiling. He was trying to figure out how to continue their conversation or ask him out for coffee or drinks or anything when he abruptly cleared his throat.
“Well, I guess if mint hot chocolate isn’t going to be in my future, I’ll have to settle for egg nog and hope my sister didn’t find the bottle of bourbon I have hidden in the closet.”
“Make sure you get the one in the glass bottle, like this.” He lifted the heavy bottle from his basket to show him. “It’s made locally at Astorbrooke Farms.”
“Oh my god! That would be perfect in my store!”
“You have a store?”
“Oh well, I, um no, but I almost did.” His voice lilted up and turned the statement into a question. It was adorable, he was so smitten with this man. “I might. I’m still oscillating on what my next move will be.”
************
Apparently Moira Rose was just present enough during his formative years to instill her love of language deep within his bones. Oscillating. Could he be any more pretentious? At least he didn’t attempt his own accent, although he doubted Patrick would find it anything less than charming, if the look in his eyes was to be believed.
“So, was your almost store going to sell groceries, or?”
“Can you imagine? No. I was going to work with local crafters and farmers to curate a selection of products to sell on consignment, under my brand.”
************
Why did that sound familiar?
“Wait! You’re David Rose? You leased the general store.”
“How do you know that?” It was barely a whisper.
“I, uh, I found your incorporation papers when I was cleaning out my new desk. At Ray’s. I work with Ray.”
“Well, I’m sure they gave you quite the laugh when you read them.”
“No, David, of course not, it’s a good idea, your business. It’s very inventive. Do you mind if I asked what happened?”
************
Ugh, again with the eyes. At this rate, he was lucky he didn’t ask him for his PIN number.
“Ray didn’t quite understand what I was trying to do. He said I was using too many buzzwords and needed to get a clearer idea of what I wanted. I took the forms home but I couldn’t, I didn’t know what to write, and I kept messing them up. When I finally went back to file them, I had waited too long. Christmas World had edged back in. I can’t believe Ray kept the forms.”
“I’m happy to help if you want to try again, I could look into some gra—“
Attention shoppers, attention shoppers.
The store will be closing in 10 minutes so our employees can spend Christmas Eve with their families. Please make your way to the checkout at this time.
************
“Oh, I need to get the egg nog! Um. Patrick, I—“
“It’s fine David. Go. The store is about to close and I’d hate for you to miss out on the egg nog as well.”
He looked flustered as he abruptly turned and hurried down the aisle, away from him. He’s an idiot, why didn’t he offer to share his egg nog with him? That could have been the in he was looking for.
Damn it. Why had he interrupted him? Why had he told him to go? What was he about to say?
At least he knew his name and where he lived, not that he was going to stalk him or anything. The likelihood of them running into each other at the cafe had to be astronomical. He hoped so anyway.
He walked the other direction down the rest of the aisle, at this point he would settle for anything festive for the kids.
He turned the corner and saw the most beautiful display of seasonal beverages that had ever existed.
He grabbed two packages from the fully stocked end cap and made his way to the front of the store to checkout.
Fate indeed.
************
His voice may have told him to go, but disappointment was written all over his face. Why was he walking away from this man? He could have offered to share his bourbon with him. The least he could have done was invite him to the party tonight.
He was officially an idiot.
At least he knew where he lived, not in a murdery kind of way, just a casually bump into each other around town kind of way. How many Patricks could possibly work at Ray’s?
Once he found the glass bottle egg nog, he saw the milk and juice that the farm also supplied. He grabbed a whole milk, a chocolate milk, and an orange juice. The four glass bottles weighed heavily in his basket. If only he had a nerdy, adorable, delectable arm having man to help him carry it all.
He was cutting it close. He was the last one in line to checkout. The glare he received when he asked Darlene to be careful with the ornaments was not very season appropriate, but at least she allowed him to check out.
He braced himself for the long walk through the empty parking lot and hoped it wouldn’t take too long for the heat in the Lincoln to kick in.
************
“David!”
“Where's the bear?”
He couldn’t help but laugh at David’s theatrics. He hadn’t meant to yell so loudly, but his voice really carried across the now empty parking lot.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“Oh, my god! It is decidedly not nice to jump out and scare people!”
“Agreed, agreed. Hopefully this,” he was mesmerized by his expressive face as he handed him the box, “will make up for it.”
“How did you—did you steal this from that little girl?” His voice had dropped down to a whisper as he cautiously looked around the parking lot. He was adorable.
“Of course not David. It turns out that wasn’t the last box in the store.”
************
“Hmmm. And is there a twenty tucked inside this pack for me as well?”
“Uh, no.” He realized as he looked down at his shoes and rubbed the back of his neck that he was nervous. “There’s not any money, there’s just something, you know what, it’s not, it’s not a big deal.”
He saw the corner of this “something” sticking out from the green box. He pulled out a minimalist business card with the initials PB on the front. He couldn’t help but smile when he flipped it over and saw that his cell phone number had been written at the bottom.
“See, it’s nothing.”
“Um, this is not nothing. It appears to be a business card with a certain someone’s phone number on the back.”
************
He huffed out a nervous laugh, “yeah, I, uh thought maybe you could use the number to call or text me? So we could go on a date, or you know whatever, if you wanted.”
“Okay? So I have to text you and ask you to ask me out on a date, or whatever?”
“No. No, no, no. Me giving you the card is the asking part. You sending the text would be the agreeing part. To the date. With me.”
“I see. And where would we be going on this alleged date?”
“I haven’t made it that far in my plans. But, hey, I have 2 days to figure it out.”
“Two days?”
He adored the way his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, like he couldn’t even fathom that he wanted to see him again as soon as possible.
“Well, yeah, I have a thing tonight with my roommate, then I’m going to my parents house for Christmas, driving back some time on Boxing Day, and then taking you out the next night. So, two days.”
************
Was it too soon to kiss that smug little smile off of his unassumingly sexy face? Maybe. Probably. Okay definitely. They hadn’t even been on a date yet, well a proper one at least. This whole encounter had definitely had that first date kind of vibe.
The soft quiet that had fallen around them as they stood there, unwilling to leave, was broken by the stupid sound of multiple texts alerts on his stupid phone.
Alexis. Stevie. His dad. Jesus. Each one was more desperate than the last. He really needed to get back to the motel.
************
The bubble had burst and it was time to go. They both had prior commitments tonight, and David’s seemed to be getting pretty intense.
He waved shyly as he backed away towards his car. He couldn’t help but grin like a maniac when David gave him a little half-wave half-curtsey in return.
It didn’t take too long for his car to warm up. He was about to pull out when his phone pinged.
See you in two days ☕️
************
Three hours and a scary amount of super glue later…
The room looked good. He was proud that they had been able to pull it all together. And yes, he may have gotten a little teary-eyed when his dad came home and saw what they had done. He’s not a monster.
He quietly slipped through the adjoining door to his room. It was time to enjoy a delicious mug of hot chocolate away from the crowd.
The first sip was perfect. The minty chocolate flavor instantly transported him to their old kitchen, a lifetime ago.
It was a strange and wonderful thing, sensory memory.
He could see Adelina and Alexis dancing around to the Christmas music as he decorated the sugar cookies. The room was full of light and love, while the rest of the house was dark and empty.
************
He changed outfits three times. He finally settled on his nicest sweater, a deep blue color, with a dark pair of jeans. He wanted to look nice, but he wanted to save his blazer for his date with David. David. He couldn’t believe he had somehow caught the eye of the most beautiful man he had ever seen all while wearing his gym sweats.
Two days. He could make it two more days. He may reach out via text after the party, just to make sure this wasn’t all a fluke. That he wasn’t imprinting on the first man he had ever knowingly flirted with.
The drive to the motel, much like everything else in town, was quick. They passed the general store and he could almost envision it Rose Apothecary. He never finished offering his help on that front, he needed to search for some local grants that David might qualify for before broaching the subject again.
The motel parking lot was packed. It appeared like the whole town had shown up to this little party. Multi-colored lights outlined the building, casting a beautiful glow in the lightly falling snow.
************
He leaned against the door frame, there had been a significant increase in guests while he was in the other room. But his attention was focused on only one of them.
He had his back to him, standing with Ray and Roland. It was not lost on him that more than one person was checking out his ass in those jeans. He had no idea all that had been hiding under those cheap sweatpants.
As if on cue, he turned to face the room. Their eyes locked immediately, as if drawn together by some force outside of their control.
He waited patiently as he weaved his way through the crowd, never taking his eyes off of his face.
************
David was here. Of course he was here, practically the whole town was here. He wondered how he had missed him when they first arrived. He felt like he was moving in slow motion as he made his way through the room.
He faltered slightly when he noticed that David was not smiling at him. Did he have regrets? Had he somehow already blown it with him?
His panic abated when he realized how hard David was trying not to smile. How he could barely contain what was sure to be a snarky comment.
“Just to be clear. You didn’t ask me out tonight so you could attend a last minute Christmas party at a roadside motel? I’m not sure what that says about you, or me, honestly.”
He saw a bit of greenery above David’s head and his heart started beating double time in anticipation.
“David.”
“Hmmm?”
“You’re standing under the mistletoe.”
They held each other's gaze as they slowly closed the remaining space between them. David’s arms fit perfectly draped over his shoulders, while his own wrapped securely around his waist.
His lips tasted of mint and chocolate.
A taste that he would now forever associate with this feeling of rightness. This feeling of hope and promise, of fate and the magic of Christmas.