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They are finishing up their latest case at the police station, with Scully filling out forms and both of them waiting for the social worker. Once more, the case has turned out not to be an x-files; rather than suspected werewolves, they’ve busted a cult that believed in human sacrifices to be performed at full moon. And not just any human sacrifices either. Children. There were so many children hidden away. Some who their parents had brought, and others who had been kidnapped. She still gets ice-cold shivers running down her spine, thinking of the small, terrified faces they’ve encountered.
Most children have been taken home to their desperate parents or to relatives. There’s only one boy left who doesn’t have anyone. And right before the Christmas holidays, too. She glances over at the boy who is sitting with Mulder and hanging on his every word. The sight causes a funny feeling in her stomach. She knows exactly what it is – and why – but she doesn’t want to admit it to herself. Even in the privacy of her own thoughts.
“Mr. Mulder,” the child says, unwrapping a piece of chocolate that Mulder must have had in his pocket. “Do you think Santa is real?”
“Oh, I know he is,” Mulder says with a smile.
“Really?” The boy scoots closer to him. “Have you seen him?”
“I have.”
Scully smiles. She just can’t help it. Despite everything, the boy trusts Mulder. He’s stuffed the chocolate into his mouth and is chewing noisily, staring at Mulder with his big brown eyes. There’s that feeling again, tugging at her insides. She tries to ignore it, but she can’t. If she squints, she can just imagine that this child isn’t a stranger. That he isn’t someone else’s baby. With his shaggy brown hair he could be a mini Mulder. He could be Mulder’s and hers. But he isn’t. She knew that the IVF would mess with her hormones and her emotions, but she can’t let them overwhelm her. She needs to keep a professional distance. For the child’s sake and her own.
“Do you think Santa will still find me when I’m not home?” The boy’s demeanor has changed. He’s solemn now, his voice cracking with worry.
“He will, Jason,” Mulder assures him in a gentle tone. He touches Jason’s shoulder and squeezes it. “No matter where you are, Santa knows you and he will find you. Have you written a wish list for him? I’ll make sure he gets it.”
“You will?” The excitement in the boy’s voice returns. He’s almost in Mulder’s lap now, grinning up at him with so much hope and happiness that it breaks Scully’s heart.
“Of course. Santa is an old buddy of mine.”
“You’re the coolest, Mr. Mulder. But,” he trails off, a shaky sigh leaving his mouth.
“But what, Jason?”
“I didn’t write a list,” he says in a small voice. “I- we weren’t allowed to… I don’t think Santa would have come to that place.”
“Hey,” Mulder says, taking the boy under his arms and putting him in a chair. “I have an idea. Why don’t you write your Christmas list right here? There’s still some time. Let me- Scully, do you have a pen and some paper for us?” Both Mulder and Jason turn to her, wearing similar expressions. She swallows, not allowing her thoughts to go down that road again.
“Of course,” she says, finding her voice. All she has at hand is the bill from their motel. She folds it in half and hands it to Mulder who mouths a thank you. She’s just about done with filling out her form, so she gives him her pen, too.
“Here you go, Jason.”
“It won’t take long,” he says, already scribbling away. “I know exactly what I want.” Mulder and Scully exchange a look and exhausted smiles. After so many years together, she can read his face easily. She knows what he’s thinking. Her own secret thoughts that she didn’t want to admit to herself are written across Mulder’s face now. She has to look away, afraid that if she doesn’t, she’ll start crying. They have one chance left. Just one. The IVF was a long shot to begin with but with every shot they take that doesn’t work, she just wants it more. And she wants it with Mulder. It’s not a new realization at all. After all, she asked him to be the sperm donor. But seeing him with Jason today has solidified her choice. It’s Mulder. In each and every way, it’s Mulder that she wants.
While Jason writes his Christmas list, the social worker arrives. Scully exchanges a few words with her and asks where they’re taking the boy. He has family on the other side of the country and that’s where he’ll go after the holidays. Scully looks at him, at this boy whose tongue is peeking out while he draws a Christmas tree with presents under it on his list. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to get a home and a family who’ll love him the way he deserves.
“Jason, are you ready?” The social worker asks him.
“Just a second,” he says, turning to Mulder. “Have you written your Christmas list yet, Mr. Mulder?”
“I’m too old for Santa to visit me.” Mulder chuckles, but Jason shakes his head.
“You said you’re buddies. You have to have a wish, Mr. Mulder. I left you some space here.” The boy points at a blank space on the paper, right next to a doodle of a wrapped present. “You have to write it down,” Jason explains to him. “Or it won’t come true.”
“This is your list,” Mulder reminds him but the boy is adamant.
“What’s your biggest, greatest, bestest wish, Mr. Mulder?” Jason smiles at him, the gaps in his teeth showing.
“It’s-”
“No, you have to write it down. Right here.” The social worker chuckles and Scully can’t help but smile too.
“You’re very convincing,” Mulder says, running a hand through the boy’s hair. “I’ll write down a wish. Happy now?” Jason leans over and checks what Mulder has written. He glances at him and nods.
“You really make sure Santa gets my list?”
“I promise you, Jason.”
“And he’ll find me?”
“He’ll find you, no matter where you are.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mulder.” Jason throws himself at Mulder, who catches the boy and hugs him back. “I hope your wish comes true, too. Bye, Mr. Mulder. And bye, Agent Scully.”
“Bye, Jason,” she says, waving back at him.
“Cute kid,” Mulder says once Jason and the social worker have left. They’re finally free to go home, too.
“He really is. I hope he’ll recover from what he’s experienced.”
“He will,” Mulder says, sounding confident. “Did the social worker say where they’re taking him? I have to play Santa.” He smiles. “He wants a bike, and hm, a kitten. That one might be difficult. But he should get his bike. Don’t you think?” She nods, not trusting her words. She knows Mulder will move heaven and earth so that Jason will get his bike Christmas morning. And whatever else is on that list. Just to give the boy a reason to keep believing, to keep going. That’s her Mulder.
“What did you wish for?” she asks once they get to their car.
“Oh, you know,” he says nonchalantly. “The usual.”
“Which is what?” To her surprise, he hands her the piece of paper before he starts the car. She quickly reads through Jasons’s wishes before she stumbles upon Mulder’s familiar scrawl. Her heart constricts as she reads his words: ‘I wish that my best friend’s greatest wish comes true’.
“Mulder,” she whispers, her emotions overwhelming her.
“It’s all I want,” he says, quickly glancing over at her. He takes one hand off the wheel and grabs hers. “And not just for you, Scully. I want this for us. Spending time with Jason today, I- Christmas is the time to ask for miracles, right? Maybe we can make one. Hell, we’re due for one.” She sniffs, wiping a few tears away. “Hold on to that list. I know you’re the skeptic here, but… I want to believe. I do believe, Scully.”
“I do, too,” she admits, and Mulder squeezes her hand. And maybe, just maybe, their wish will come true.