Work Text:
“What’s mine is yours, I guess,” Alex announces awkwardly, gesturing to the lab in the DEO that she’s not used to sharing.
“Thanks.” Lena mumbles, passing by her and dumping two briefcases on the nearest free table. “I’ll be fine in here. Just direct me to where you keep the test tubes and microscope slides and I’ll get right to work.”
Alex shuffles her feet, trying to find a non-confrontational way to deny Lena’s obvious request to be left alone. “Um, actually, I’m going to be working here with you.”
Lena turns to her slowly, a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised challengingly. “And why is that?”
The redhead takes a deep breath. Honesty is key here. It always has been; they’ve just been too blind to see it. “Because she’s my sister and I need to help in whatever way I can. I can’t keep sitting around and waiting for someone else to fix what’s happening, I need to be working. I can help, so please, let me.”
Lena eyes her up for a few long seconds. “Fine.”
“Thank you, Lena,” Alex mumbles, her voice quiet and soft, nothing like her usual tone. It’s disconcerting to Lena, who is only used to seeing her harsh DEO agent demeanour. She’s seen glimpses of a softer side through the years when Alex talks to Kara, ever the good big sister, but this is different.
“I might be mad at both of you, but I know I can help Kara and having an extra set of hands will make this much quicker,” Lena says.
“You have every right to be.”
“I know, I just…why?” Lena’s eyes show a vulnerability that makes Alex want to fall to her knees and promise to never do anything that could hurt her again. “Why didn’t you trust me?”
A lump gets caught in Alex’s throat. “I don’t trust anyone with my sister.”
Lena’s eyes narrow. “Is that what you’re going with? You’re not going with the classic Luthor excuse?”
Alex shrugs. “I guess I could. It did play a part in it at first. I’m already sceptical of people in Kara’s life. She’s been hurt and suffered through so much that I will always do whatever I can to protect her.”
“She’s a grown woman who can make her own choices, Alex.” Lena folds her arms over her chest, more annoyed than she was a second ago.
“I know that. She did make her own choices. That doesn’t mean they weren’t heavily influenced though. Everyone who knows her secret has been telling her since you first met that she shouldn’t tell you. To do so, she would’ve not only faced backlash from everyone in her life who’s important to her, but she would also be dismissing the people who have always helped to steer her in the right direction before. She trusted us to help her, and even though she trusted you, she also trusted us. We created an inner conflict for her that meant she lost no matter what she did. That is my fault.”
It doesn’t go unnoticed how Lena is now gripping the edge of the table so tightly her knuckles have turned white. “And what did I do to make you distrust me that much?”
“I see now that it wasn’t you, Lena. I took your family name and their crimes and pinned you with a label I was unwilling to release you from.”
“No, there’s more. There has to be more because even that isn’t good enough. It’s been years, Alex. Years. There’s another reason you kept it from me, and I need to know what it is.”
Alex’s mouth drops open, her brain scrambling for something to say, anything at all. “I’m sorry. I don’t…I don’t have an answer for you.”
“Of course you don’t.” Lena shakes her head and turns away. “Let’s just work on getting Kara better and then we can discuss this later. Actually, let’s not. This conversation clearly isn’t going anywhere. If you can’t admit why you acted that way, then we have nothing to discuss.”
A wave of panic courses through Alex. She wants nothing more than to fix this. “I wanted her to have someone she can be herself with, Lena. You’re the only one who she can truly be herself with.”
“Hardly. You can’t be yourself with someone while hiding an entire culture and background from them, let alone a double life. Try again.”
“I wanted her to—”
“Just stop.” Lena snaps. “It’s not just about Kara. This is about you too, and clearly you know that or else you wouldn’t keep referring to her like you can place all the blame on her circumstances. This is on you and how you felt about me, so just be honest with me for once!”
Alex stumbles back, itching to run out of the door and leave Lena in her rearview. She shakes her head, her voice turning to a whisper. “I can’t.”
Then, Lena’s holding a microscope over her head. “I swear to fuck, Alex. If you don’t tell me, I will throw this at you so hard you’ll be missing at least four teeth.”
Holding her hands over her head, ready to brace for impact, Alex finally tells the truth in a rushed mess. “Because I like you.”
The microscope doesn’t get set back on the table. It clatters to the floor with a bang, definitely broken now. “What?”
“I like you. Like, I wanted to ask you out. That day when we saved each other’s lives. I kind of developed feelings that I didn’t want. I didn’t trust your intentions then. I did eventually, but by then, I knew that if I let Kara get closer to you, we’d have to see each other more. We’d have to see each other in a more casual atmosphere. I can bury my feelings at work—”
“Clearly.” Lena sarcastically says, gesturing to the lab.
Alex ignores her. “I can bury my feelings at work, but at a movie night with my sister and her best friend or game night? No. I told her to keep herself a secret so I could be selfish and bury my feelings. That’s the truth.”
A heavy silence fills the room, and then Lena reaches for the other microscope in the lab. Thankfully, Alex gets there first, preventing her from throwing it. However, Lena does manage to grab a marker and throws it hard, hitting her square in the forehead with remarkable accuracy.
“You’re an asshole, Alex Danvers! You ruined Kara and I’s relationship because you have a fucking crush?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“Fuck you! Fuck your grandpa! Fuck your motherfucking life!”
“I deserve that.”
“You fucking think?”
Alex ducks her head, rubbing at the spot Lena hit, trying to ease the stinging pain left behind from her harsh shot.
“And even now, you don’t fucking ask me out. That’s the least you could do.”
“Wait, what?”
“Wait, what?” Lena imitates her.
“You want to date me?”
“Why the hell would I want to do that? I don’t date people that don’t even have the balls to ask me out. Now, why don’t you go and get something to clean up this mess you caused?” Lena gestures to the broken microscope on the floor.
Alex stares at her blankly, watching Lena walk to the other side of the lab, where she starts to prep equipment for doing what they were meant to be doing—figuring out a way to cure Kara of an alien sickness.
“Lena?”
“What?”
“Will you go out with me?”
“Not until my best friend is awake and well so we can kick your ass together first.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Depends how satisfying beating you up will be.”
“Lena,” Alex whines.
Turning around, Lena pins Alex with an exasperated look. “Fine, but can you please clean up your mess? I can’t work in a messy lab.”
“But you’re the one that made the mess.”
Lena raises an eyebrow at Alex, her head tilting.
Alex realizes her mistake quickly. “Totally my mess, I got it, don’t worry.”
“That’s what I thought.”