Chapter Text
Sam crawled from Dean’s lap, hobbling over to a bed that had been pointed out as his and jumped on it. Rubbing his face against the blanket, he sighed happily, turning towards Dean to speak brightly, “I like it here!”
“Yeah,” Dean replied gruffly, looking around the small room with distaste, “Well, good for you.”
Sam, who was 3 years old, and his big brother Dean had just been taken to a compound called “The Orphanage”. He knew Dean didn’t seem too happy about it, although he wasn’t sure why. This place was great!
Sam looked around the room, counting out 6 beds total (he could count all the way to 10!). There was a small reading nook in the corner, lined with a couple of books. Sam couldn’t wait to learn how to read!
When they had first arrived, Miss DeAnna showed them the huge yard outside, with actual grass. Sam didn’t think he’d ever seen grass before. Just dirt. And glass. Which you did NOT want to step on.
He turned back towards Dean, who was still glancing around the room, a permanent frown on his face. Why was his brother so sad?
Sam jumped off the bed, determined to cheer his brother up.
“Come read to me!” he demanded, grabbing Dean’s arm and pulling his off from his bed.
Dean’s bed was directly next to his. That was good. Sam didn’t want to be too far away from his big brother.
Dean grumbled a bit, but allowed his smaller brother to drag him off towards the reading nook. They plopped onto the ground, Sam grabbing the first book he saw (it was bright and colorful), and climbed into Dean’s lap, holding out the story expectantly.
Dean rolled his eyes, but Sam knew he was just teasing. Dean was such a good reader, even doing all of the voices of the characters and everything. He wanted to read as good as Dean one day.
“Are you ready?” Dean asked, amused, as Sam shifted in his spot, trying to get more comfortable, leaning against Dean’s thin chest.
“Ready!” Sam cheered, clapping his hands.
“Alright: Once Upon A Time…”
Sam hummed happily as he listened to his big brother read him this story, hearing happiness leak through his tones. He was happy here, and soon, Dean would be too.
--
“C’mon Dean!” Sam hissed, pulling his brother from his hiding spot in the gardens to the dining room, “It’s time for dinner.”
Dean rolled his eyes, pulling his arm from Sam’s small grip and walked next to him to go get their food.
“Aw man,” Sam groaned, as he looked down at his bowl of stew he’d just been given, “Not stew again. I was really hoping for fresh vegetables.”
Dean grunted, muttering under his breath, “Just be grateful you’re being fed at all.”
Sam frowned, but didn’t reply, choosing instead to dig into his food. It had been 6 years since they’d arrived at the orphanage, and sometimes
Dean still didn’t seem happy. He’d make comments like this, which Sam didn’t understand.
Why would Dean be concerned about whether or not they were going to eat? Or course they were going to eat! It was dinner time!
Sam decided not to worry about it. Perhaps it was just one of those weird things about Dean.
--
Sam folded his arms, glaring the best he could at Dean who was lying back on his bed, arms folded behind his head.
“Dean, it’s time for chores,” Sam said, waiting for Dean to acknowledge his presence.
Dean looked up, raising an eyebrow in his direction.
“So?” he asked.
Sam huffed, “So, everyone needs to help out!”
Dean rolled his eyes, sinking back into his spot.
Sam growled in frustration, throwing his hands into the air, “See? This is why you’re unhappy here! You don’t even try!”
Without missing a beat, Dean responded, “I doubt my happiness is based on whether or not I pitch in with chores.”
Sam looked down at the wooden floor and mumbled, “I just want you to be happy.”
That’s all Sam had wanted, for Dean to finally feel as though he were at home when he was there. But, he’d never truly embraced the orphanage. He was physically there, but mentally he seemed to be somewhere else.
Dean sat up, and spoke softly, “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Sam shot him a look of disbelief, so Dean interjected, “It’s true!”
He saw the sincerity in his eyes, and softened his hardened stance. Maybe that really was all Dean needed to be happy. Perhaps he should stop worrying so much about Dean. Dean was a teenager now (at 13), he could take care of himself.
Sam rushed forward, throwing his arms around Dean’s neck and pulling him in tightly. Dean grunted, but returned the hug all the same.
“Why don’t we go out and see if they need help picking apples in the orchard,” Dean suggested, knowing it was one of Sam’s chores for the day.
Sam looked back up at Dean, a bright smile creeping onto his face.
“I’d like that.”
--
“So,” Dean asked, smirking while Sam actively tried to avoid eye contact, “Which girl was it?”
Sam sighed, unsure if he wanted to admit to Dean, but eventually gave in, “It was Madison.”
Dean let out a low whistle and asked, “She the small one with brown hair?”
Sam nodded, still avoiding looking directly at Dean.
“Well,” Dean replied, amusement seeping into his tones, “Look at you. Getting caught making out with girls in the storage closets. I couldn’t be prouder.”
Sam looked up hesitantly and asked timidly, “Really?”
Dean barked out a laugh, jumping up to clap Sam on the back, “Not only are you breaking the rules, you caught the attention of one of the hot chicks. Nice, Sammy.”
Sam fought to keep a smile off his face as he returned Dean’s high-five.
“I’m in a lot of trouble,” Sam replied, convinced that Dean should be reprimanding him, not congratulating him. He broke the rule of no physical contact.
“What’s life without a little trouble?” Dean winked.
“I guess,” Sam begrudgingly answered, plopping onto his bed.
“So,” Dean prompted, wriggling his eyebrows, “How was it?”
Sam shrugged, “Good, I guess.”
Dean frowned, “You guess?”
Sam looked over sheepishly, “Well, we were just kissing. And it wasn’t for very long before we were caught.”
Dean rolled his eyes, “You really gotta step up your game man.”
Sam shook his head, shuddering at the thought of the having to scrub down the entire attic as a part of his punishment, “No thanks. I think storage closets are out of my future.”
Dean frowned, but didn’t argue.
Sam looked up at him, catching a glimpse of disappointment.
He quickly added, “Maybe next time, we’ll go out to the shed.”
Dean immediately laughed out loud, jumping up to clap Sam on the back, “Atta boy.”
--
“What the hell is going on here?” Dean shouted as he pushed into the crowds of kids.
Sam looked up from his spot on the ground, panic rushing into his eyes, quickly reaching up his arm to wipe the blood from his lip.
“It’s nothing, Dean,” Sam said quickly, scrambling to his feet, his eyes worriedly glancing in between Dean and a guy named Dirk.
Dirk scoffed, stepping forward to push Sam back, “Like hell it’s nothing. I was just showing this punk that he needs to learn to stay away from what’s mine.”
“You don’t have a claim on her,” Sam spat back.
Dean stood, fists clenched, and asked through gritted teeth, “Someone gonna elaborate?”
A small girl responded, “Apparently, Dirk wants Madison, and now Sam is kissing her, so Dirk punched him.”
“She’s mine,” Dirk repeated, stepping forward to punch Sam again.
Sam closed his eyes, flinching back, waiting for the hit, when it never came.
He squinted one eye open, his jaw dropping when he saw Dean had picked up Dirk and had him pushed against a wall, a full foot off of the ground.
Dean growled, “If you ever touch Sam again, I will hit you so hard, your nose will be flying out the back of your head. You understand?”
Dirk nodded, his eyes wide with fear.
Dean let go, stepping back, allowing Dirk to fall to the ground.
“Get outta here,” he spat out, and Sam was satisfied when he watched Dirk and his cronies scramble to get out of there.
Dean looked around at the remaining kids, still crowding around as they watched the show, “Don’t you all got something better to do?”
The rest of the kids scurried away as Dean walked forward, throwing his arm over Sam’s shoulders.
“You okay?” he muttered under his breath, walking slowly back to their rooms.
Sam nodded, not sure if he should feel embarrassed that his big brother had to finish the fight for him, or awed at how strong Dean was in that moment.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up,” Dean announced, pulling him up.
Sam knew, no matter what he felt in that moment, he was sure glad to have a brother like Dean.
--
“We need a couple volunteers to run to Main Town to pick up some medicine for little Timmy’s fever,” Mother DeAnna spoke, her dark eyes fierce along with her pulled back white hair, as she stared among the kids in the crowd.
“I’ll go,” Dean spoke, not at all to Sam’s surprise, immediately stepping forward.
Anytime there was an opportunity to go into Main Town, Dean was always the first one to volunteer.
Dean glanced over at Sam, and he knew that he was waiting for him to speak up as the second volunteer. Sam looked down at the ground, feeling awkward as he kept his mouth shut.
He really didn’t want to go into Main Town today. He was tired from his chores the day before and had some free time today he wanted to use to finish the book he was reading. He was almost done and he had to know how it ended!
He flinched when he heard Adam’s voice instead excitedly speak up, “I’ll join him.”
Dean frowned, still watching Sam who was actively avoiding him and replied, “Great.”
Mother DeAnna handed Dean a small pouch of coins for the medicine, and waved her hands, shooing them off.
Dean paused in front of Sam, who quickly looked up at him, worry in his eyes.
“I’m sorry Dean! I just – “
“You got that book you wanted to finish, am I right?”
Sam sighed. Dean knew him way too well.
“Yeah,” he admitted.
Dean rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, “Nerd.”
He simply reached up, ruffling Sam’s hair in the way that he hated and said, “No biggie. I’ll just catch you when I get back. Sound good?”
Sam nodded, trying not to feel guilty when he noticed the look of disappointment in his big brother’s eyes.
“I promise,” Sam replied, determined to make sure he set aside some time for just him and his brother later that evening.
--
Sam sat in the grass, looking up as several bangs pounded onto the main door of the compound. Miss Julie rushed to the door, pulling it open and immediately scolding, “What took you so long. We need that medicine now!”
Sam looked up to watch Adam as he stumbled through the doors, gasping for breath as tears poured down his face.
“Well?” Miss Julie asked expectantly, placing her hand on her hip, “What is it? Spit it out.”
Sam stood up slowly, waiting for Dean to come bursting in behind Adam, explaining what had caused Adam’s panic and grief.
Adam shook his head, signaling he was unable, or perhaps unwilling, to answer.
The longer Sam waited for Dean, the more anxious he felt.
Why wasn’t he here yet?
A sick feeling spread through the pit of his stomach as he spoke, “Adam? Where’s Dean?”
A small crowd of people had gathered around them at this point, but Sam didn’t notice any of them. It seemed as though the world had slipped away as he nervously waited for a response.
Adam took a couple of deep breaths, before sobbing out, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
Sam stepped forward, grabbing the front of Adam’s coat and shook him, ignoring Miss Julie’s cries of indignation, “Where is he, Adam?”
Adam looked up, remorse apparent in his tear streaked eyes, and choked out, “He’s gone.”
--
Sam curled under his covers, the blankets completely covering him from head to toe, numbly thinking about Adam’s words.
He’s gone.
Adam had explained that when they arrived at Main Town, the whole place was torn apart and there wasn’t a single person in sight.
They had just gotten the medicine when a large group of Ravagers pulled in.
Apparently, Dean had hidden Adam, but was caught himself. Adam claimed he stood up to the Ravagers, but there were at least half a dozen of them against him. Dean convinced them that he was alone, effectively saving Adam’s life, before they grabbed him and pulled him away with them.
Adam waited until the Jeeps were gone before he clambered out of his hidey-hole and ran the whole way home. Among the chaos and the terror, Adam had accidentally left the medicine behind.
Sam choked back another sob, wondering if there was any chance that Dean was alive.
As soon as he’d heard, he tried to leave the compound, so he could set out to find Dean and bring him back. But, Miss Julie had pulled him back, locking him in his room, and ordering him to stay put. She assured him that it was too late for Dean. That he was as good as dead if the Ravagers had him now. She reminded him that Ravagers were blood-thirsty monsters, who thrived on chaos and torture, and that he wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors by rushing into the same environment that Dean had found himself in.
Sam cried for hours, resigning himself to the truth. It was too late. There was nothing he could do.
He cursed himself for not going into Main Town. He should’ve been there with Dean.
A voice in the back of him mind reminded him that if he was there, he’d be dead too.
Sam cursed the voice, vowing that it didn’t matter. He should have been there with Dean.
He should have gone.
Sam wiped his tears, wishing he could turn back time.
Instead, he pushed himself up, dragging his feet to the reading nook and grabbed a book of the shelf. The same book Dean had read to him all those years ago when they first arrived at the Orphanage. He nestled into the spot, opening the book, reading the words through blurry eyes, wet with fresh tears running down his face.
If he closed his eyes, he could imagine Dean was there with him, holding him tightly as he read in his funny voices.
Sam broke down, tear drops staining the words on the pages in his hands.
He wished he didn’t have to pretend.
--
Sam looked at the envelope being handed to him skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Krissy.
“A letter? For me?” he asked.
“That’s what it says,” Krissy replied, wrapping Sam’s hand around the paper to force him to take it.
“But,” Sam started confused, looking at his name inscribed on the side of the envelope, “Who would be writing me?”
“Beats me,” Krissy replied, rolling her eyes, “You want it or not? ‘Cause I can bring it to Mother DeAnna if you’re not interested.”
Sam shot her a look, before turning away to bring the letter out to a secluded spot in the garden, away from prying eyes.
“You’re welcome!” Krissy yelled after him, annoyed at his lack of thanks.
Sam felt a little guilty for not thanking her better. After all, she was breaking the rules sneaking this letter to him. All mail was to be delivered straight to Mother DeAnna. Although, as far as he knew, none of the kids had ever received any mail before.
He climbed into the space, a hiding spot Dean had found years earlier, and his heart stuttered in pain.
It had almost been a year since Dean was taken by the Ravagers, and there still wasn’t a day that Sam didn’t feel a pang from the loss.
He pushed the thoughts from his mind, studying the plain brown envelope in his hands, running his fingers over the lettering of the calligraphy on the front, spelling out the letters S A M.
He tore the envelope open, being careful not to rip any of the contents on the inside, skimming through the words scrawled on the page.
Tears streamed down his face as he realized who the note was from, eyes rushing back to the top of the page to read through it again, more carefully.
Dear Sammy,
Bet you weren’t expecting a letter from me. I know you’re probably mad at me, but hey! At least I’m alive!
I don’t know what Adam told you all those months ago, so I figured I’d set the record straight. We went into Main Town to grab that medicine when we found the whole place trashed and deserted. It wasn’t long until we ran into a group of Ravagers. I was able to hide Adam, but they found me and took me with them.
At first I was terrified. You know Miss Julie and Mother DeAnna’s stories. There was no way I was getting out of this one alive. All I could think about was how glad I was that you were back at the Orphanage, safely tucked away behind those walls I hated so much. I hope you’re still there, and that you didn’t try to do anything stupid, like come after me. I trust that our caretakers would have prevented you from doing so.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered the Ravagers really weren’t so bad. Really.
Stop it. I know you’re scoffing at me right now. And, okay, there are some really crappy Ravagers out there who are exactly like the stories we were told.
But, the Ravagers I’m with now, they’re good Sammy. They don’t hurt others and they look after each other. So, I stayed with them.
The Ravager I’m staying with is Castiel. Man, Sammy, you would love him. The guy is just as big of a nerd as you are. He has several HUGE piles of books in his cabin and every time we go out on a hunt, he’s always searching for more books to bring back. The guy loves to read. I know you’d be in heaven if you saw the stash he had.
I know you’re probably confused right now, but I just wanted to let you know I was okay. Better than okay. I’m happy here Sammy. I’m happy here with Castiel, and Benny, and Jess, and all the other Ravagers that are here with me. They’re family.
I miss you though. I miss you so much. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t stop for a moment to think about you, and wonder how you’re doing.
But, I’m not coming. Not yet anyway. You’re safer there, behind those thick walls with your stories and your boring chores and regular meals. Besides, you’ve always loved the orphanage, and I’d hate to take you away from something you loved.
But, here’s the deal: In a few years, when you turn 18, I’m coming for you. I know that’s the deadline for the kids to leave the nest and affiliate themselves with the real world. So, on your 18th birthday, I’m going to be standing at those gates with open arms.
I’ll take you wherever you want to go. There’s a town nearby where we’re staying, the Road House, which is great. You’d love Bobby. He’s another intellectual guy, although you’d never guess it from his scruffy beard and ratty clothes. You could get a job here, maybe even meet a girl.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I’m alive. I know you won’t be able to write me back, so don’t worry about that. Just promise me one thing, stay safe, Sammy. As long as you’re safe and happy, I’m happy.
I’ll see you in a couple of years, bitch.
Dean
P.S. If Mother DeAnna or Miss Julie is reading this letter right now, please pull out the stick from your ass and let my younger brother read this letter from me.
Sam choked out a laugh, holding the paper tightly to his chest as he repeated the words in his mind.
Dean is alive.
He is happy.
He is coming back for him in a couple of years.
Sam folded the letter gently, placing it back in the envelope and held it tightly in his hands rested on his lap. It didn’t matter that he was confused about the situation Dean was in, it just mattered that he was okay.
Sam smiled down at the letter and whispered out into the open air, “See you soon, jerk.”
--
Sam groaned as he heaved the bucket and mop back into the supply closet, wiping the sweat from his brow, wondering if he could sneak off to take a shower. Somehow, he had picked the short straw, and was ordered to clean up Jesse’s vomit on the dining room floor.
He really hoped he didn’t get sick now.
He locked the supply closet, taking the key to bring to Mother DeAnna in her office.
As he approached her door, he could hear the older woman talking to a man on the inside. Sam knew he probably shouldn’t listen in, but found himself leaning close towards the door anyway.
“How dare you! I could never agree to these terms!” Mother DeAnna spoke out indignantly.
“I assure you, it is in your best interest to do what I’m asking.” The man replied ominously.
“Get out,” the woman ordered.
Sam stepped back, pretending as though he had just arrived at the office and that he hadn’t heard a single thing, watching as the door flung open. A tall man with bright yellow eyes stepped out of the room, sneering at Sam as he passed by.
Shivers ran down his spine as he watched the man walk down the hall. He slipped into the open office, holding out the key.
“I’m here to return this, Mother DeAnna.”
The old woman looked up at Sam, her eyes tired and weak.
“Place it on the desk, child,” she replied.
Sam frowned, wondering, not for the first time, whether or not she actually knew his name, despite the fact that he’d been here for over 12 years.
He set the key down in the place she indicated and blurted out, “Who was that man?”
Her eyes narrowed in response, “He is nothing you should worry yourself about. Now, run along.”
Sam nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to get any more answers, and left the room, closing the door gently behind him.
--
It was in the middle of the night when a piercing scream broke through Sam’s dreams.
He blinked rapidly, trying to slow down his beating heart and regain his vision, and look around the room, searching for the source of the cries.
Several more screams filled the hallways of the home. Sam jumped out of bed, grabbing his shoes and a sweatshirt, running to the window to glance outside.
His watched in horror as fire blazed across the orchards and gardens, slipping over to the side of the building they were in.
He grabbed Dean’s letter to him, folding it and placing it in his shoe before racing out of the room. Kids were running around the hallways, terrified and blinded by the smoke, quickly filling the halls.
“Everyone! Outside!” Sam screamed out.
Immediately, all the kids followed his advice, turning towards the front doors and fighting to make it out into the fresh air. Sam felt as though he were in a stampede, and hoped they’d all make it out alive.
When they arrived outside, however, he found there was even less safety.
“Hello there, my child,” a male voice spoke.
Sam looked up, his eyes wide as he looked into those familiar yellow eyes.
They were the last thing he saw before he was consumed by darkness.
--
Sam moaned, reaching up to rub his head as he pushed himself off of the ground.
“What happened?” he asked bleary, forcing his eyes open to look around at his surroundings.
His jaw dropped when he realized he was in a metal cage on a wagon, being pulled far away from the Orphanage he had called home.
He looked around the cage, finding there were four other kids inside, as well as he.
“What happened?” he repeated, louder this time, prompting for one of the other kids to answer back.
A tall girl with brown hair, whose name Sam thought was Gilda, whispered, “We were taken.”
Sam forced himself not to roll his eyes.
Obviously.
“By who?” he pressed, looking around.
A boy spoke up this time, “The man with the yellow eyes.”
Sam looked out the bars holding him in.
What was going on?
--
Sam kept his eyes closed as he eagerly listened to a couple of men speak just outside of his cage.
“Where we going next?”
“The exalted camp,” one guy responded, spitting onto the ground in front of him.
“Azazel really thinks we can sell these kids there?”
The second man scoffed, “Of course. You know how the rich are. They can’t get enough slaves. And they prefer them young. That’s when they’re easily trained.”
Sam’s heart dropped.
Slaves.
That was his future. That was what he was going to become.
He huddled in on himself, trying to shield himself from the bitter winds, and forced himself to fall asleep, hoping that perhaps he could think of a plan to escape in the light of day.
--
His small group sat quietly as they looked out at the numerous buildings lined up across the skyline.
This was it. The place where the exalted lived.
From what Sam could find out, the exalted were those that had been seemingly unaffected in this wasteland. They were the ones who thrived, owning elaborate homes and keeping slaves to do their dirty work.
A small girl with long blonde hair, sitting next to Sam, pulled him out of his thoughts as she sighed and whispered to herself, “What are we going to do?”
Sam glanced at her and asked, “What’s your name, again?”
The girl jumped at having been addressed and replied, “Jo.”
Sam nodded, “Well, Jo. Don’t worry. My brother Dean will find us. And he’ll save us all.”
Jo frowned, obviously disbelieving Sam’s words.
But it didn’t matter, because Sam knew they were true.
Dean would find him.
Everything would be okay.