Chapter Text
It started off…weird.
PJ spent so many years lusting after Brittany, imagining herself with anyone else was kind of unthinkable.
And then she kissed Hazel as a distraction, and suddenly nothing was the same anymore.
Everything was weird. She and Hazel were weird. They’d bump into each other and smile and giggle like idiots and then have no clue what to say to each other.
To be fair, PJ’s never really known what to say to Hazel. The girl was so painfully unpredictable to PJ, she never even bothered to try.
But these days, now that things were different, it made her wish she had.
What would things have been like? Had PJ actually given Hazel a chance and treated her like a friend instead of dirt beneath her shoe? Would she have kissed Hazel earlier?
It didn’t matter. Not really. Because soon after the kiss, it got to be too much.
Hazel was too much.
She kept looking at PJ like- like she was everything. Like she was the sun itself.
Hazel looked at PJ with a gaze far too kind. Too in love. And PJ just…well, panicked.
She couldn’t stand it anymore. The way Hazel would fiddle with her fingers all shy and just kind of watch her, unsure of what to do or say. The way she went out of her way to do things for PJ like make notes for her in the classes she struggled with or gave her a cookie at lunch when they were available.
It was too much, too fast, too soon. PJ was just barely understanding that she didn’t like Brittany so much as she liked the idea of Brittany. She didn’t want to do the same thing to Hazel.
So, she kissed some random girl at school for funsies, a girl who’s name she didn’t even know. And she made sure Hazel saw it.
And as much as it hurt when she saw Hazel run off and later saw her arrive at fight club with reddened eyes, she knew she made the right choice.
Hazel went back to being her friend. Her quirky, goofy, oddball friend who made bombs for fun and sat in seats with her legs sprawled out like a child playing on the floor.
She went back to being Hazel. And PJ didn’t want anything to jeopardize that.
“Guys, guys, guys—“ Hazel busted through the doors of the gym, scrambling over to the club with so much excitement PJ was a little worried she’d hurt herself. She was grinning like a complete idiot as she dropped her backpack on the ground and did a little jump. “I just got asked out!”
What.
Just about every girl in the club was swarming her in an instant, demanding details and shouting congratulations.
Except for PJ, who hung back with her mouth falling agape in disbelief. Josie stood nearby, watching her warily as if expecting her to suddenly snap or something.
“This is so exciting!” Isabel squealed, looking ready to pick Hazel up and swing her around. “Tell us everything. Who is she? How’d you meet? When’s the date? Oh my gosh we can double date—” She rambled as she led Hazel over to sit down; the other girls trailing behind them like ducklings.
Admittedly, PJ would love the answer to some of those questions. But the idea of what the answers could be almost made her want to hurl.
Not because she was upset Hazel had a date or anything, that would be ridiculous and hypocritical. She just didn’t like the idea of Hazel Callahan potentially getting a girlfriend before her.
“It um- okay so- you know that girl in our English class, Abigail Frost? So I-I was just writing down notes, color coated obviously, about to put them in my Gravity Falls file folder-“ Hazel started, bubbling with excitement.
Stella was quick to cut in. “Get to the girl, Hazel.” She insisted, not unkindly.
Hazel blushed, realizing she’d gone on a ramble. “Right so- Abigail came up to me and just…started talking to me? At first I thought it was like, a joke or something, but then she said I was cute and gave me her number and—”
Rolling her eyes, probably harder than she needed to, PJ found herself grabbing one of the exercise balls sitting around and hurling it towards the group. They yelped in surprise as it smacked into them and Hazel cut herself off, alarmed.
“Hand slipped.” She explained with an innocent smile when everyone stared at her. Jose gave her a side-eye that she blatantly ignored.
“Um…” Hazel hesitated, unsure if she should continue or not.
Brittany smiled encouragingly. “Go on. She gave you her number…”
“R-Right and so I asked why she gave me her number and she said it was so we could go out sometime, and then I clarified if she meant dating because that’s kind of ambiguous—”
“And she still asked you out after all that?” PJ joked dryly.
Whether it was because she was excited or simply didn’t hear her, Hazel continued as if she never spoke. “And she said she wanted to go out on a date. So…uh, we’re going out, next Saturday! She said to leave the details up to hear and that she’d text me said details? Um…what do I do?” Her excitement began to waver into anxiety.
Naturally, the girls of the fight club all began to give out their advice, trying to prepare Hazel as much as possible. PJ and Josie, who stayed a distance away from them, went unnoticed.
Josie turned to PJ with mild concern, a pinch between her brows. “Hey uh, you good?”
Was she good? What the fuck did that mean?
PJ glanced at Hazel once again, taking note of the mild flush on her cheeks and the way her eyes kept twinkling with pure excitement.
“Obviously. Don’t be stupid.” Was all PJ replied with, something cold and dark settling in her chest.
The world, as always, was not on PJ’s side.
Why else would she end up stuck doing an assignment with Hazel? Mr. G’s orders no less.
Everyone knows she and Josie always pair up, but then Josie had to go get a stupid girlfriend (not actually stupid, Isabel was delightful and PJ knew it). So now she was stuck with Hazel, all because Mr. G couldn’t ‘bare to break up the love birds’ or whatever the fuck his reason was, something about being a great ally.
A day ago, it would’ve been fine. PJ would’ve been happy because who wouldn’t want to be paired up with the smartest person in the entire school? The person who took notes for every single class no matter how easily she understood the material?
But now it was significantly not fine, and PJ couldn’t figure out why.
Nothing had changed. She and Hazel were still her and Hazel, awkward, sort of friends who kissed in front of the entire school once, no big deal.
But now Hazel had a date. A date with someone PJ didn’t even know.
And here she was, actually working on the assignment instead of pouring out her feelings about it to PJ, as if they were good students or something.
Now, PJ had grown, and learned some self-control. So she did not throw all of Hazel’s papers and study tools off the bed, because this is admittedly her house and even PJ has some standards.
But after 45 minutes of watching Hazel gnaw on a pencil while occasionally writing shit down, she knew something had to be done, one way or another.
“So…” PJ started, breaking the deep, coma-like silence the two had fallen into. “You’re going out with a girl. That’s like, hip and stuff. Pretty wild, uh…” Hazel glanced up from her paper to stare at PJ, the pencil still between her lips. PJ panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. “So, you think you’re gonna finger her or what?”
Jesus Christ.
Hazel’s mouth fell open slightly, letting the pencil drop onto her lap. She looked completely caught off guard.
No shit, PJ. You just asked her an incredibly invasive question after sitting in silence for God knows how long, you fucking idiot.
But PJ was a firm believer in ‘fake it till you make it’ so she didn’t take the question back, instead looking at Hazel expectantly.
“Uh…” Hazel paused. “I dunno. Am I supposed to? On a first date?”
PJ’s nose crinkled. “Supposed to? I mean, no, but I figured you’d want to.”
“I…haven’t really thought about it.” Hazel admitted with a small shrug. “Abigail said we’re just going to a movie so…I figured I’d just follow her lead?”
PJ bristled. She should’ve expected that. Hazel wasn’t exactly the ‘take action’ type, at least, not until somebody pushed her first.
“Okay well, if it leads that way, are you…you know, going to?” PJ questioned, struggling a bit to get the words out. It was such a weird conflict in her mind, wanting to know and also desperately wishing to never know.
Hazel looked at her strangely, almost worriedly. “PJ does it…bother you? That I’m going out with somebody? I can cancel-“
Whoa, alarm bells. Alarm bells going off. Abort. Abort. Abort.
“Pshhh, why the fuck would it bother me? I just want to know if I should prepare the balloons for your party when you’re no longer a virgin. I never thought Hazel Callahan of all people would get here, excuse me for being surprised.” PJ rambled, doing her best to smirk her way through the pain.
“Oh…” Hazel blinked, shoulders drooping a little. “Um…I don’t really like parties.”
PJ was confused for a second, only to realize Hazel thought she’d been serious. Goddammit. “Right, no party then, no problem.” No reason to hurt her feelings if she didn’t have to.
Man, she really has grown. Josie would be proud.
Before either girl could say anything more, they suddenly heard strange noises coming from outside Hazel’s room. Some banging, then footsteps, and then moaning.
Hazel cringed as she heard her mother let out loud moans of pleasure. “Ugh…”
PJ was torn, part of her wanting to make a joke to make herself less uncomfortable, and also wanting to make Hazel less uncomfortable.
Another moan from Mrs. Callahan caused her to find a solution in the middle.
“Hey, let’s watch a movie. At a really high volume. We’ve studied enough.” PJ insisted quickly, already getting off the bed and scrambling over to Hazel’s large assortment of DVDs.
Hazel didn’t say anything, merely looking a bit sick as she covered her ears with her hands, not wanting to hear more than she had to.
PJ threw in some Disney movie, killed the lights and grabbed the remote. The large, flatscreen TV lit up the entire room anyways. She turned the volume up far higher than she probably needed to and collapsed down next to Hazel on the bed.
Hazel didn’t say anything, but she uncovered her ears and gave PJ a weak smile of thanks, before focusing her attention on the film.
She mouthed every lyric to every song for the entire movie. PJ hated how much she loved it.