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“Well, that certainly could have gone better.”
Loki gives Mobius a withering sidelong glance, his posture still stiff as he walks, the slime covering his body starting to congeal. They’d successfully completed their mission, preventing a disaster within a branch without having to prune it. However, in the process, they had gotten caught up being sprayed in by the defensive yet overall harmless goo of an unknown alien creature.
“That tempad better be set to a place with a shower,” Loki mutters.
“I have it set for the apartment, don’t worry.”
“Good, we need to clean this off immediately, I think it’s starting to solidify, I don’t want to have to call Bea to have to carry us home, we’d never hear the end of it.”
Mobius chuckles softly, his nose crinkling. As promised, Mobius pushes buttons as they walk, allowing them to walk right on through the timedoor that snaps open.
Loki is exhausted, and would love to just collapse on the couch, but doesn’t dare touch anything in his current state. Mobius is not much better off, his brown suit looking a sickly green with the shiny coating of slime that clings to it.
Loki immediately starts stripping his layers off, bundling up all of the sticky, slick clothing into his arms and dumping them in a pile at the door.
“Let me go change,” Mobius says, heading for the bedroom.
“Just take things off out here, we can keep everything in a pile to try to be washed.” Loki says, shrugging. “Though you know if we dispose of that suit of yours you could try some of my suggestions for outfits…”
Mobius smiles, but Loki notices a pinch in his brows, ever so slight. “Don’t worry, I’ll be quick to change and I’ll bring the stuff out, then I’ll let you in there to shower.”
Loki frowns. He feels his mind racing trying to salvage something that seems to have gone wrong before he even noticed. “Sorry, did I upset you? I don’t really hate the suit, I think you look good in it, I’m just teasing.”
Mobius still wears a smile but it’s smaller now, looking almost… sad? “No, it’s not that, promise. I just didn’t want to strip down here since you’re out here already.”
Loki frowns. “I most certainly am not bothered, if you haven’t noticed. You know Asgard is not a particularly shy culture, and I’m even less so myself.” Loki gestures to himself, already down to his underwear.
Loki desperately wants to smooth out the tight lines of concern on Mobius’ face. Everything had been fine before, and Loki runs back through the events in his mind, wondering where things went wrong.
“Right, I know, but…” Mobius looks away. Loki takes a step forward, but doesn’t fully approach Mobius. Loki is hesitant, this entire situation seems to be bothering Mobius. Is it Loki? Is the idea of seeing him naked unappealing? He and Mobius have been through hell together, and Loki knows there is love there, they’ve shared as much in what feels like a million different ways, but they’ve never truly spoken about some of these details. Loki doesn’t know the lines, doesn’t know what Mobius truly wants. They’ve always been so comfortable around each other, for Mobius to seem so distraught out of seemingly nowhere means something is wrong and Loki wants (needs) to fix it.
“Mobius, have I made you uncomfortable?”
Mobius’ eyes widen. “No, course not, Lokes. It’s me, not you.”
“How so?”
Mobius’ jaw stiffens, nerves clear on his face even as he maintains eye contact. “Well, I’m not, y’know…”
“I don’t know, Mobius,” Loki whispers. “I will never pressure you to do anything you don’t want, but if you think I’m bothered by seeing any possible part of you, you’d be wrong.”
Mobius stands in the doorway, arms at his side, but his face betrays all of his worries. His eyes dart around, and his lips purse. “Sorry, I’m—”
Loki shakes his head. “It’s okay. Take a breath, Mobius.”
Mobius nods and does as Loki says, taking in a deep breath and letting it out. “Sorry, I’m being silly.”
“Are you? Because something is eating you up, Mobius, clearly. Talk to me?”
Once upon a time, Loki would have teased and dodged his way through something like this, avoiding the issue at hand because it was too painful. But Mobius has been there for him through countless missions and moments of panic and expressions of vulnerability. It’s rare that Mobius shows fear so openly, and Loki wants to show him the same careful consideration Mobius has always shown him.
Mobius folds his arms, tucking them in close as if shielding himself. “I don’t— I’m not used to being exposed, and I assumed you wouldn’t want to see all of me.”
“Why would you think that, Mobius?” Loki asks quietly. “That you shouldn’t be seen?”
“I guess… Well, you’re beautiful, always put together, and I’m kind of a mess, Loki. My body isn’t… well, it’s functional, and day to day it doesn’t bother me but it’s not something that people ever would want to look at, really.”
Loki sighs softly. He should have guessed sooner, Mobius is insecure. Loki knows insecurity far too intimately for his liking, and while his doesn’t stem from exactly the same places, he understands.
“Mobius…” Loki murmurs. He steps towards Mobius and stands close, barely within reach. “May I… may I touch you?”
Mobius’ breath catches in his throat, freezing for a long moment. He searches Loki’s face, seeing his pleading, soft eyes, his gentle expression. “You don’t have to…”
“I know. I won’t if you don’t want me to. But I want to.”
Mobius nods carefully, barely perceptible. He maintains eye contact with Loki. Loki can tell Mobius is putting so much trust into him in his moment, and perhaps it’s not brand new, Mobius has always been more trusting of him than perhaps is reasonable (in Loki’s mind, anyway), but this is something entirely different, something much more vulnerable. It never fails to make Loki’s heart soar the way Mobius allows him in, trusting him implicitly.
Loki gently peels the slimy jacket from Mobius’ shoulders, and tosses it into the heap by the door. He reaches up with deft fingers and slips them into the knot of his tie, loosening it and then letting it crumple to the ground. Under his fingers he feels Mobius’ throat bob as he swallows heavily. He glances down at the buttons of his shirt and then meets Mobius’ eyes again. “May I?”
Mobius nods again, and shivers slightly as Loki unbuttons the first few buttons, the backs of his fingers brushing the faint silver hairs on his chest. Loki finishes unbuttoning his shirt and lets it fall open to reveal all of Mobius’ front.
“I don’t say it enough, Mobius, how beautiful you are.”
Mobius dips his head. “You don’t have to just flatter me to make me feel better, Loki. It’s kind of you, but I’ll be okay.”
“Mobius,” Loki whispers, using one finger to gently nudge Mobius’ face back up to meet his eyes. “Look at me.”
Mobius’ eyes bore into his. He’s still eternally searching and analyzing, but now it is not simply from his natural curiosity but from a much deeper fear, rooted in his very being. It’s a fear Loki recognizes, the fear of being unwanted, unlovable. He just never thought Mobius felt this same way, and he wishes he’d known sooner.
“I am not simply flattering you or lying to make you feel better. I mean every word I am saying to you, Mobius. I notice your beauty everyday, both emotional and physical. There are so many things I love about you that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to articulate them all, and I mean it when I say I wish I’d started sharing them sooner.”
Mobius takes in a breath but it’s shaky. “I believe you, Loki, it’s just… unfamiliar.”
“I know. I understand how hard it is to believe something when you’ve spent your life convincing yourself of the opposite. But if you'll allow me, I want to take care of you, the way you always have me.”
Mobius flushes at that, the heat rising to his face and turning him a warm shade of pink. “Okay.”
Loki nods, a smile curling on to his lips. He takes one of Mobius’ hands and gently leads him to the bathroom. He drops his hand just long enough to turn the bath on full blast, dumping in a generous helping of soap to form sudsy bubbles as the water level rises slowly.
Loki turns back towards Mobius and gently slips the shirt off his shoulders, dropping it on the tile by the bathroom door. “If you’re okay with it, can you take off your bottoms?” Loki runs a careful hand down Mobius’ freckled shoulder, and a shiver runs down Mobius’ body at the touch of his palm.
Mobius’ skin prickles as it is exposed to air, and it pimples up more as the weight of Loki’s ask sinks in. Despite all of the deep gnawing fears and voices in his head that say Loki will soon realize his error and flee to avoid having to keep looking at Mobius, he nods and unbuckles his pants, pulling everything down until he is entirely exposed.
Loki smiles, looking him up and down. If you had asked Mobius to picture this moment, he perhaps would have been able to in some wild dreams of his, but his cruel mind had always imagined Loki putting on a brave face, masking his disappointment and dissatisfaction as he took in Mobius’ patches of silver hair and freckles and protruding stomach and thick thighs. Instead, against all odds, Loki is looking at him like he's a work of art. His eyes are full of warmth, and his smile is so bold and genuine as he soaks in every detail, rather than giving him a short one over and hurrying along.
Loki reaches out and places one hand on Mobius’ side, fingers finding purchase on his fleshy hip, and Mobius has to resist pulling away, not because he doesn’t like it but because it’s too good. It’s so gentle, so soft, so loving , he doesn’t know what to do. With his other hand, Loki reaches up and cups Mobius’ cheek, equally as soft. “You’re wonderful, Mobius. Every inch of you.”
“I don’t know about every —”
“I do,” Loki insists with a breathy whisper. “You are absolutely beautiful, completely and entirely, I want you to know that. Or if you struggle to believe it yourself, at least know I think so.”
Mobius swallows and presses into Loki’s palm, his only way of responding when his body is on fire with pure overwhelm. He’s always been such a tactile person, guiding people with hands on their backs or brushing shoulders as they walk, even more so with Loki, but he’s only just now realizing how much he has craved a more intimate touch like this. He never knew how to articulate it because it wasn’t something expected of a TVA worker to begin with, but now that he’s feeling it… it’s putting a distinct feeling to all of the unnamed aches of loneliness and wrongness that he’s experienced over eons. All at once he feels the joy of having something so beautiful, being doted on by someone he loves, and the regret at having been without it for so long, and the nerves of being so vulnerable, and it’s all too much.
“I know I have said it in other ways and I’m sure you know it regardless, but I love you so much, Mobius. All of you, your soul, your heart, your body, it’s all wonderful.”
Mobius tilts his head to press a kiss to Loki’s palm, his body trembling slightly. “I love you, Loki.” Mobius wants to say more, wants to spill his guts and remind Loki about all of the ways he loves him, but he can’t find the words. Instead he steps closer to Loki, and as if reading his mind (always so in sync it’s sometimes scary) Loki folds him into a hug, their bodies pressing together, warmth flooding Mobius like he’s being reborn. Skin to skin, Loki holds Mobius in his arms, Loki’s hands spreading across Mobius’ back, his hands smooth and cool against the flaming warmth of Mobius’ peach fuzzed skin. Loki smooths his hands across the planes of Mobius’ back, and presses a slow kiss to his neck and nuzzles his nose into the soft skin near Mobius’ collarbone. Mobius melts into his touch, and he’s glad Loki is strong enough to hold him up because he feels like jelly in his arms. Loki’s hands trail back up and curl around Mobius’ shoulders from behind, locking them into an even tighter hug. Loki’s lips linger near Mobius’ ear and his breath sets Mobius even more ablaze. “You’re beautiful, Mobius, so beautiful,” he whispers, and each word sends electric shocks down Mobius’ spine.
Mobius isn’t sure what does it first, Loki’s gentle words of endearment or the way Loki holds him so steady and snuggles into him so lovingly, with so much care in every touch, but something knocks the final brick out of Mobius’ fragile dam and it breaks. He feels a sob rip out of him and instinctively he curls in tighter against Loki, his face pressing into Loki’s shoulder.
Loki squeezes him shortly, a reminder that he isn’t truly pulling away, then unhooks his arms just long enough to wrap them around Mobius’ shoulders instead of holding him from under his arms. He squeezes tightly and presses his nose to Mobius’ hair. “I’ve got you, love, okay? Always, I’m right here.”
Mobius feels the tears streaming down his face and the gasps of sobs making his whole body shake, but Loki just holds him through. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just—” Mobius sobs, feeling shame wash through him against his bidding.
Loki shushes him gently. “Hey, it’s okay. Let it out, then we can talk. I’m not going anywhere.”
Mobius hears the rushing of the water flick off with a silent zap of magic, and as they are plunged into quiet he hears his cries even more prominently. He doesn’t know how to feel about being a middle-aged man breaking down in the arms of a god, with both of them entirely exposed and vulnerable. He knows Loki isn’t judging him but he still feels such shame seeping into his bones, a byproduct of the rather structured TVA where there was never time to collapse like this, lest the timelines break down while you are breaking down instead.
“My beautiful Mobius, stay with me,” Loki whispers, his voice like a melody. “You are my world , love, always.”
Mobius feels himself trembling like a leaf, but is finally able to catch his breath enough to quell the sobs. He keeps his face pressed into Loki’s neck and shoulder, relishing in the way Loki still rubs his back gently, his palm warming up as he keeps the motion going.
“Loki…”
“I’ve got you, I’m with you,” Loki reassures once more, his voice still quiet and rhythmic.
Mobius takes in a deep breath and lets it out. He loathes to peel away but pulls his head up and back just enough to look Loki in the eyes. Loki looks at him with a look of pure affection, his eyes soft and warm and shimmering like melted snow.
“I’m—”
“Don’t apologize again, dear, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
Mobius clamps his mouth shut, the words staying put. “Okay. How about ‘I love you’ instead?” Mobius whispers, trying for a smile, though it wavers.
“Well, I never tire of hearing that,” Loki whispers, a small smile of his own appearing, though his eyes remain focused on Mobius. “Talk to me, Mobius, I want to help.”
Mobius sighs and opens and shuts his mouth multiple times, trying to find the words. He isn’t shy about talking to Loki, but all of the thoughts and feelings inside of him are tangled into a knotted web with no end in sight, no free string to pull to help untangle the mess.
Loki steps back from their embrace just enough to rub a thumb under Mobius’ eye, wiping away a stray tear. Loki nods softly and gently disentangles them, and moves his hands to find Mobius’ waist, gently guiding him to the tub, once magically made larger when Loki had startled to settle into living with Mobius, now that the magic dampeners are off. Mobius is nudged ever so slightly with careful fingers and hands to take a step into the tub. Loki steps in right behind him and lowers himself down first, but keeps one hand on Mobius’ hip the entire time. Finally, he grips both of Mobius’ hips and tugs down gently, his hands smoothing up Mobius’ body as he takes the hint and sinks down into the foamy water.
Loki leans against one wall of the tub and lets his legs bracket Mobius on both sides, and he pulls Mobius backwards against him, Mobius’ back resting against Loki’s chest. Loki holds him in this backwards hug, allowing his chin to slot itself into the crook of Mobius’ neck. Mobius once again feels the absolutely intoxicating puffs of Loki’s breath against his skin, and he rolls his head to the side to expose his neck. Loki hums softly, taking his freely given chance to place a trail of long, suckling kisses against Mobius’ neck, certain to leave marks. And right now, Mobius doesn’t care. Maybe tomorrow, when this high has dwindled, he’ll want to wear a turtleneck or ask Loki to magically or manually apply some makeup, but for now he wants Loki to leave every mark possible on him, to leave behind these beautiful reminders of being so deeply and truly cherished.
Loki ever so carefully scrubs at Mobius’ hands and neck and behind his ears to clear the little drops of slime that missed his suit and stuck directly to his skin or hair. Mobius practically dissolves in Loki’s touch, a moan slipping out unbidden as Loki rubs a solid hand up and down the smooth curve of his neck and upper back. Loki simply smiles softly, redoubling his efforts, before craning his face to press kisses to Mobius’ cheek until Mobius gets the memo and tilts his head so they can properly kiss.
“Will you tell me more about what you’re feeling, my love?” Loki whispers, one more kiss pressing into Mobius’ neck before Loki’s chin rests softly on his shoulder again. Loki cradles Mobius against him so gently, one arm encircling from behind, supporting him against Loki’s chest, and the other resting underneath the foam, on Mobius’ stomach, fingers dancing lightly under the water against his skin.
“I just… I didn’t realize how deep some of these fears ran. We never had much time for physical admiration or affection in the old TVA, but when we did I wasn't really anybody’s choice,” Mobius whispers, his drawling voice quiet and contemplative. “I thought I didn’t care too much, but the way you look at me and touch me, the way you’re so tender , it hit me all at once how much I want and need to be touched and held and loved.”
“The entire TVA was full of idiots not to be showering you with affection at every turn,” Loki says, his voice low. “You deserve every gentle touch possible, Mobius, you are beautiful and kind and strong and loving. For nobody before me to have given you all of the love that you give out back to you? It’s a crime. But now that I’m here, now that I’ve been given this beautiful chance to love you, been given the gift of being allowed to hold you this close, I won’t allow such injustices to continue.”
Mobius feels the hot tears starting up again, though this time they aren’t followed by the bubbling sobs, they simply fall freely, unbidden, eons of repressed feelings spilling out in this wonderful god’s arms.
Loki simply scoops Mobius in closer to him, Mobius curling up into Loki’s hold against his chest, feeling entirely secure being surrounded by the arms around his shoulders and Loki’s legs still secure on either side of him. Loki moves one hand to hold the back of Mobius’ head, Loki’s fingers cradling and scratching lightly at his scalp. “You’re everything, Mobius. My everything.”
Every move Loki makes is soothing. Slow, languid motions with careful fingers, so entirely gentle that Mobius aches with it.
Mobius feels like he’s melting into Loki’s touch, years of cold loneliness starting to seep away into something manageable with every broad hand rubbed along his shoulder and every gentle stroke of fingers through the silvery strands of his hair.
“I’m so lucky to have you,” Mobius mumbles, his voice thick and sleepy.
“I think that’s my line, love,” Loki says, and Mobius can hear the fond smile in his tone.
“Mm, I beat you to it,” Mobius says, trying for smugness, though the blissed out relaxation in every inch of him doesn’t allow for the full effect. “I can’t imagine what I’d do without you, what I did without you. Thank you for being here.”
“Don’t mistake this for a simple favor, love. This, having you here, like this, this everything I could ask for, no matter what.”
Mobius shivers as the vibrations of Loki’s low voice rumble in his ear, sending a warm shockwave down his entire body.
“God, I love you, Loki,” Mobius sighs out.
“I love you too, always, Mobius.”
Loki continues to hold Mobius securely in his arms, Loki’s greedy hands remaining gentle yet still insistent on Mobius shoulder and hips, making sure Mobius can never forget how truly loved he is.
Loki can’t imagine not wanting to give this man everything, can’t fathom pulling away when he could continue to scratch at his scalp like he’s petting a kitten or rub grounding circles into his hips and stomach. He relishes in the little sounds of contentment and desire Mobius makes in response to every brush of his fingers.
If Loki had it his way, he’d keep them in the tub forever, allowing his body and Mobius’ to become one, to fuse into something entirely new so Loki never has to let go.
Instead, he does eventually rouse Mobius from his relaxed trance just enough to ease him up, murmuring fondly about not allowing Mobius to get too pruned up or sensitive. He refuses to have less than one hand on him at all times as he wraps him in a towel and helps dress him in some soft loungewear.
They resume their tangled, quietly fervent embrace once they’re both in bed, and Loki pulls Mobius into one more kiss even as he feels Mobius fading into sleep.
“Never forget how much I love you, okay?” Loki whispers against Mobius’ lips.
Mobius simply smiles, so blindingly warm and lovely. “How could I possibly?”
Mobius’ wide smile as he falls asleep is everything Loki missed and needed when he first saw Mobius showing doubts. This is how he wants Mobius to be forever: soft, relaxed, never doubtful. Though no matter what, he’ll be here for all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly.
He vows to never let Mobius forget how loved he truly is, starting with squeezing him just a bit tighter right here and now, in this beautiful moment.