Chapter Text
When Eliot had started the morning, he should've known it would be full of nope. He'd woken up with a pain in his neck from sleeping too hard at an awkward angle, Parker had left a fucking harness in the floor like he'd told her a thousand times not to do, meaning in his not-quite-awake state he'd tripped over it, and his shower hadn't been long enough before there was knocking on the door, Hardison's voice filtering through, "Hurry up, Eliot, I found us a job!" and the slightly excited tone in his voice made Eliot cringe. An excited Hardison meant a new kind of job, which never ended well for Eliot.
Hardison had been surprisingly good at running the cons, he had an eye for detail, and he'd learned his lesson the first time Nate had let him run things, and it was working for the trio now. He did, however, occassionally bite off more thasn he could chew. The warning sign to that? A little bit too excited to work.
Eliot really just wanted to go back to bed.
He grunted his thanks to Parker when she handed him a coffee, not giving a damn about the heat of it as he sat down, glaring ahead at really nothing as Parker nimbly climbed over the back of the couch, sitting beside Eliot, "He tell you what he has in plan?" he grumbled over the rim of the coffe.
Parker snorted, twisting her hair up neatly, "What do you think?"
The two shared a similar smile, before imitating Hardison's voice, "It's all in the reveal, man." breaking off into snickers as Hardison entered the room.
"Alright! I have the Job of jobs, capital J and everything." Hardison couldn't stop grinning, moving passed the pair on the couch, not noticing them exchanging not-so-excited glances.
"You gonna bring it up on the screen or is the wait supposed to be part of the fun?" Eliot asked dryly, raising an eyebrow pointedly.
"Could you not suck the fun out of this one for me?" Hardison's brow arched right back as he stood in front of the screen and faced his partners, "And be just a little more excited about this?"
"Hardison." Eliot's and Parker's voices mixed together, conveying their warning.
"Alright, alright!" Hardison hit the button, grin wide as the images and words flickered over the screen, "We're gonna-"
"No." Eliot stated firmly, tone completely serious.
Hardison's face crumpled a bit, waving at his screen, "You haven't even heard the plan!"
"No. And I don't want to." Eliot shook his head, not looking at the man, focused on the bright green rubber ducky in a broken circle, a lighthearted symbol for a very dark crew, "Do you understand what you're wanting to do? Fully understand?"
"Yes. We're gonna take out the Fake AH Crew."
"Those crazy people in Los Santos who gun down cops, civilians, and gangs alike for fun?" Parker's tone was wary.
"See! Parker knows they're bad people! And we take down bad people!"
"No, Hardison! We take out cushy, corrupt CEOs, or conmen who hurt good people! There's a fine line between Bad and Fucking Nuts!" Eliot set the cup down a little harsher than necessary, "We stay out of gangs' business, because that's a can of worms you don't want to mess with!"
"We took down that mobster Moscone! And the O'Hare family thing!"
"We got lucky! Mobs have a code of conduct! Those people?!" Eliot waved vaguely at the screen, "I've done work with the Vagabond, I know what he's capable of! The Brownman's sniper skills are legendary, and I don't think you undrstand how much danger is in his body. Mogar is uncontrollable, the bigger the blast radius, the better. Gavino's a surprisingly good thief, he'd give Parker a run for her money, but he's got enough charm to make you think you'd given him your money. Overlord, probably the most sane of the group, can fly anything, and honestly, she'll kill you with a smile just as quickly, but Ramsey? Ramsey convinced a Grand Jury that he was an innocent man in a case where they had a bosy, the murder weapon, and eyewitnesses. Do you understand, Hardison? The man killed someone, in broad daylight, for looking at Gavino wrong. And just for fun, went to court over it. And fucking won!"
Parker, completely missing the point, glared at Eliot, "You think someone's as good as me?"
"Parker, that's not-"
"No, no, you think someone's better than me. We're going."
Hardison smirked in triumph. Eliot was outvoted, and he'd go along just to keep them safe,
"Now are you ready to hear my plan?"
Eliot let out a groan. He hated today. They were going to die, or at least be maimed, and Hardison didn't care.