Chapter Text
Okay, so look, there are a million things that are amazing about being in a relationship with Sephiroth.
Zack couldn’t even narrow them down if he tried. Maybe he could get it down to twenty on a good day if he could do that thing where there are other points under the main ones. That level of organization is hard for him though.
He holds his breath and watches the tip of the pen shake.
He’s one of the luckiest alphas out there. How he stumbled into this secret omega’s life is one of those mysteries that he doesn’t want answered.
Today isn’t super special. It is just the first time in a long time that they are both off on the same day. So they are going out to celebrate and because Zack was so excited about it, he picked up a card to give to Sephiroth at dinner.
His pen hovers over the blank inside.
It’s cheesy but he wants to do it anyway.
I am one of the luckiest alphas out there. He writes it and then wishes he hadn't used a pen.
Recently Zack was looking for one of his belts and pulled open a barely used drawer to find a box in it. Inside was every note and piece of love that Sephiroth had ever been given. All of the birthday cards from Angeal, several printed out screenshots from Genesis with begrudging acknowledgment, and all the little scraps of paper that Zack had given him with little hearts on them were carefully stashed.
The box isn’t full yet.
Zack wants it to be.
He looks at the inside of the card. There are a million things that are amazing about being in a relationship with Sephiroth but absolutely none of them are in his head right now. Zack chews on the back of the pen until the plastic cracks.
Shit. He’ll have to throw it out now.
The shower is still running.
He still has time.
His phone lights up as he taps it. The advice on the internet of how to tell someone that you love them fills his screen. It’s all bad, even he knows it.
How do you even put feelings in a card? Or into words that don’t sound dumb?
The shower turns off.
“Shit,” Zack mutters.
Sephiroth will take about twenty minutes even after the water has turned off. He’s got this.
He starts the next line.
I
He squints at it.
I love you.
It doesn’t feel like enough. He makes the period into a comma.
I love you, a lot.
Zack groans and puts his head in his hands. The hairdryer kicks on. The “local idiot” as Genesis likes to call him, strikes again. The table doesn’t give him advice as he bangs his forehead against it.
The hair dryer cuts off way too early. The clock clicks. Zack has two seconds to hide the dumb card. He sweeps it into his lap and scrambles to pick up his phone. The phone slips out between his hands and skids across the table.
Swearing, Zack lungs for it.
It clatters as it hits his water bottle, almost knocking it over. The card slips from Zack’s lap. His fingers barely catch the phone before it dives off the edge.
Sephiroth appears in the doorway and leans against the doorframe.
That’s when Zack realizes he’s laying across the table in a clear lunge with no easy explanation.
It doesn’t matter though as Sephiroth’s fingers linger on the screen in his hands. His eyes are down, still reading a message. A frown hovers across his face and tension plays over his body.
Zack pushes back up to a proper sitting position.
“What’s up?” Zack asks when Sephiroth says nothing. He is in a robe, nowhere close to ready.
That wakes Sephiroth up from his thoughts to meet his eyes. “There is a change of plans.”
“Yeah?” A stone drops in his stomach. SOLDIER knows they are off limits. It has to be a real emergency.
He pauses. “Dr. Callenberg is requesting I come in immediately.”
Zack’s heart picks up a few extra beats. Dr. Callenberg is his omega physician. Zack has met her a few times. Put on staff because of something terrible that happened between Sephiroth and Hojo, she now takes care of all the omegas in SOLDIER, so Genesis and Sephiroth primarily besides a few thirds.
She works for SOLDIER not R&D so Hojo can’t pull rank on her, not that she would let him.
“Why?” Zack gets to his feet and moves around the table. Sephiroth doesn’t move, the air between them being solid. Sephiroth’s shoulders are straight and stiff as his thumb rubs against the edge of the phone.
“I feel fine,” Sephiroth says, voice soft. “But regretfully she insists. It’s urgent.”
Zack shrugs. “I’ll wait here. We can make it into a movie night? Or video games? We’ve got ice cream cake in the freezer.”
“Perhaps…” he says, his words drifting off. He stares at Zack, fighting through his own thoughts. Whatever that message had said meant something more than he was letting on. Zack’s instincts strain to pick up Sephiroth’s scent but it won’t happen. He’s back on all his medications. His body can’t project in that way. He is scentless so Zack can’t cheat.
He walks a few paces closer. He wants to be available to him if Sephiroth wants it.
“She requires you with me, Zack.”
That makes him stop moving.
“Oh.”
Zack has fucked up then.
It drops like a stone into his gut. They found out about how Sephiroth skipped out on his inhibitors and maybe they’re blaming it on him. Even then, it was weeks ago. They should have been called in earlier.
Sephiroth doesn’t say more. He sighs and it shakes through him. He has his emotions clamped down but Zack can see the blurred edges he can’t quite hide.
Part of Zack wants to push him away and check him all over, looking for the problem but one of them would have found it if it was visible.
That invisible threat hangs over them.
“Well,” Zack says, trying out cheerfulness he doesn’t feel. “We better not leave her waiting.”
#
The omega office smells heady to Zack.
He isn’t exposed to a ton of omegas in Shinra besides Genesis and Sephiroth. Sephiroth’s scent is gone and Genesis’ is like stuffing his nose in a bottle of spices. Genesis also now carries Angeal’s scent on him so, instinctually, Zack doesn’t pay as much attention to it. Angeal is constantly trained on it though. Zack would be the same with Sephiroth if he could.
So as they are guided to a room, his brain spins in the smooth omega scents in the air.
Sephiroth has barely said a word since leaving the apartment.
Zack has been here once. Sephiroth brought him to one of his quarterly physicals. Zack had been shocked, this is about as inner circle as it got for Sephiroth. He never talked about his health or body. No one has ever given him the space to talk about his body or being an omega before. Clearly, Sephiroth understood himself but discussing it is a muscle never used.
For a second, Zack thought in the early days that perhaps Sephiroth was embarrassed by himself but then, sex would be a lot more awkward.
Which it hadn’t been.
Still, Zack got introduced to the younger woman, who could be invisible in a crowd. She had shaken his hand with a smile. That stuck with Zack. He meant something to her.
She’s not smiling as they are let into her office. Her brown hair is pulled back but there are circles under her eyes as she rises from her chair to meet them.
It takes very little time to get through the formalities.
Sitting in the chairs feels like they got called into the principal's office. Sephiroth sits straight. His hands are arranged in his lap. Zack tries to look professional. He realizes he’s failed when he notices he’s hooked one of his feet behind a chair leg.
“Sephiroth, your bloodwork came back positive, twice. Remember when we agreed to a no lying relationship? Here is the test of that.” Dr. Callenberg’s smile is forced as she opens one of the folders. Her fingers trace over a highlighted line.
“So which medication did you go off of?” She asks and looks up.
She knows. It’s like when Kunzel had dumped cold water all over him.
Sephiroth doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything. He sits there like he’s not heard.
So Zack has to throw on his best surprised voice. “What? Why would he? He’s so good-”
“Zack.” Sephiroth interrupts him with a hand on his thigh. “There is factual evidence.”
Zack’s teeth click together.
The omega doctor smiles. “I just need to know.”
“The omega inhibitor for a few days on our recent vacation last month. I take responsibility for my own actions. It was my decision. Zack only supports me, never forces.”
“Just that one?”
“Yes. I wanted to know my scent.”
Zack’s heart beats quicker as he stares at the highlighted line on the chart. The news, whatever it is, is sitting in unreadable lines of doctor lingo. No matter what happens, it is going to feel like it is his fault.
Dr. Callenberg looks down at the sheet and then back up at them. “Your samples read positive twice for a hormone related to an omega’s heat cycle.”
The silence stretches out. Zack thinks that his mind stops working for a moment. Sephiroth’s stillness turns into something closer to frozen. The only movement is how the once relaxed hand on Zack’s leg grips tightens on him before Sephiroth forces it loose again.
“Impossible. I have never skipped a heat suppressant.” There is a slight whisper to Sephiroth’s words.
She nods. “Your drugs work in tandem, Sephiroth. When you take yourself off one, it can weaken the others.”
“Genesis isn’t on an omega inhibitor. He doesn’t have heats unless he wants them,” Sephiroth says quickly. Zack puts his hand on top of Sephiroth’s. He doesn’t react, wholly focused on the woman across the table.
“And that is because his medications are designed differently. Genesis requested the ability to go off his pills individually. We designed yours to work together. If you want other options, we can discuss it.”
“I am not in heat. I feel fine. I am not…” Sephiroth pauses. “Different.”
The doctor nods. “That is to be expected. We caught it early. The prediction on your heat is still a month or two away. We will get a better idea when you get closer.”
Sephiroth doesn’t respond. He looks away and his eyes lose focus. Zack weaves his fingers in between Sephiroth’s and he leans close and puts a kiss against his shoulder. He holds onto that moment for as long as he can. Sephiroth doesn’t move, still lost.
Sephiroth sucks in a breath.
“Stop it now. My heat suppressant should have already.”
“We can’t,” she says, “The way heat suppressants work is that they tell your body that it isn’t time to have a heat. Once your hormones have been given a chance to decide, there is very little that can be done. It is a domino effect. Your whole body engages in the act of preparing.”
“What about emergency heat suppressants?”
She closes the folder and sets it aside. “And we will talk about it but trying to stop your cycle right now is medically difficult, a risk Shinra nor myself are willing to take.”
The mention of Shinra, that they already know about this, cracks Sephiroth's resolve. Sephiroth’s chin drops and his free hand comes up to his face, rubbing between his eyes.
Zack waits and when Sephiroth says nothing more, it is time for him to try to help.
“What’s our choices?” Zack asks.
“It boils down to two. When it comes close to time, he can come here and then we will ease him through it with a suite of medications or he can decide to ride it out naturally-”
“Can I choose now?” Sephiroth cuts her off.
“Sephiroth, I know this is a complicated decision but I want you to make it well informed.” Her tone becomes urgent. “Bypassing seems easiest but the drugs are incredibly strong.”
She continues. “Not all omegas are First Class SOLDIERs in peak physical condition with mako running through their veins. It will be very difficult to stop the high speed moving train that will be your instinct to have a heat. You run the risk of being incredibly ill.”
This Sephiroth has to think about it for a moment.
“I understand.”
“Experiencing a heat may be a daunting concept and I’m not pushing you to it but I want you to consider it as the physically healthier option.” She pulls a few pamphlets from a drawer and paperclips them to another folder. The bolded titles about omega health, physiology and heat with smiling people underneath seem almost comedic. She holds it out to Sephiroth and he takes it slowly.
“I’ll need an answer in a few days. You’ll be scheduled to come back in for a few tests in a week to narrow down the window.” She stands and they follow. Zack’s stomach turns.
Her eyes draw over Zack and she smiles. “Zack will support you either way, I’m sure. You’ve got a good alpha by your side.”
It is a compliment that makes Zack blush.
Sephiroth pauses. “I understand.”
“I’m here to help. Message me if you have questions in the meantime.”
And just like that, they walk out with their world off balance.
Sephiroth goes quiet the rest of the night.
They don’t go out. They don’t even talk about it. When they make it back to their apartment, Sephiroth tells Zack that he needs time to himself. The last thing that Zack wants to do is let him go. Sephiroth feels fragile around the edges and wanting to protect rides high in his throat but he lets him go.
The bedroom door doesn’t close entirely.
Zack cancels their reservation and eats leftover takeout. The videos on his phone aren’t that interesting but it is much quieter than the TV. His eyes keep drifting back to the door. There has barely been any movement in there after Sephiroth shuffled through the folder.
It’s been two hours.
The dishes sound so loud as he sets them against the counter but he builds his excuse.
The ice cream cake slices don’t look bad on their plates as he knocks on the door with his foot.
“Seph? Do you want some ice cream cake and some company?”
The sheets shift. The side lamp is on and throws light through the crack in the door.
“I’ll take the company.” The words are too even and smooth. Zack takes a breath, steadies himself and pushes open the door.
Sephiroth lays on his side on their bed facing Zack’s side with his back to the door. He’s half lifted up to check to make sure it is him. His green eyes are tired as he blinks slowly and lays back down. His shoulder blades flex as he sighs into his pillow.
The folders sit closed in front of Sephiroth and slowly he draws his eyes away from them to Zack as he sits on the mattress.
“Cake?” He offers the plate.
Sephiroth’s eyebrows draw together slightly at the food. A little bit of the whipped cream slips off the top, sliding to the side. The silver hair catches the light and shimmers as Sephiroth’s head tilts at the offering.
Zack laughs. “I don’t know how it got half melted either but it’ll still taste good. Eat something with me, please.”
The “please” works. Sephiroth sighs at a Genesis dramatic level but he props himself up against the headboard. Zack tries not to stare too long at how withdrawn Sephiroth is, even here in the safest place in their apartment. The omega is quiet by nature but here he has simply and entirely retreated within himself.
The plate is taken.
Zack can feel him on the edge of his emotions, trying to fall into them.
Zack leans on the headboard next to him, a polite distance between them and crosses his legs. He takes a bite of the cake and waits. It is Sephiroth’s move if he is ready to talk or not. He gets two spoons of increasingly melty ice cream down before Sephiroth makes his decision.
“Will you review the documents now?” Sephiroth nods at the folder.
Zack raises an eyebrow. “Sure, man.”
The plate goes on the bedside table and he pulls the folder in his lap. It’s a boring cream color but several sheets shuffle against each other when he grasps it. He checks with Sephiroth one more time and when he says nothing, he opens it. The omega closes his eyes and shifts, finally trying the ice cream.
“Good, right?” Zack asks. The heat pamphlets on top have been shockingly opened. He didn’t expect that. Carefully, he slips those aside. He knows enough about heats to not need to waste time on it now. The typed plans sit underneath.
From the corner of Zack’s eye, he sees him take another bigger bite. Good. There will be something in his stomach. The alpha in him counts the spoonfuls as he reads the plans over.
It’s what the doctor said, only more elaborate. The health risks are scary on the hospital plan. Sephiroth could be out for months with side effects. The heat plan isn’t much better. Sephiroth would get shoved into a villa surrounded by Turks to wait it out. That is possibly the least romantic way to do this.
Zack is thorough and reads over everything twice because there are lots of complicated things and big words.
Sephiroth’s plate gets scraped a few times and set aside. Carefully, he leans closer. Zack automatically lifts his arm and Sephiroth slips next to his side, settling next to him, head resting on his chest. His hand wants to settle in his hair and to press him even closer but it’s too possessive. So he settles for draping his arm down Sephiroth’s back and resting his palm on his hip.
Zack closes the folder, dips his face into the crown of his hair and whispers into him. “What’s in that big head of yours? Talk to me, Seph.”
“What should I do?” It comes out straightforward and simple.
It’s Zack’s turn to hum and stare out the cracks in their blinds. It’s night but sometimes lights break through. It must be late enough that most of the traffic has stopped. The words he wants to say take a while to puzzle together.
“I think you should do what feels right.”
Angeal would be proud.
He feels Sephiroth huff before he hears it. “Don’t you have an opinion?”
Of course, he does. If it was him, he knew exactly what option he would take but this is not about him. This is about an omega in his late twenties who has never had a heat and has also a complicated relationship with himself.
“I want what’s best for you.”
“Don’t you want me to…?” Sephiroth’s voice drifts off into the darkness before the word. Zack notes it.
“Why would I want that?”
“Because you’ll be there. Alphas enjoy it.”
Zack stills. Well, that is a real stereotype but the tone of Sephiroth’s voice is insistent, like Zack is a requirement. As much as he wants to be there to support him, he’s also not sure that Sephiroth realizes that there is a choice.
“Seph, if you decide to go that route, you get to choose who you are with.” Zack draws idle circles on Sephiroth’s hip and counts the even breaths lifting his arm. “I know plenty of omegas who chose to be alone during that time and use toys and things. It’s deeply personal who you share that time with.”
“You don’t want to?” Sephiroth asks too quickly.
“I want you to be comfortable and I don’t want you thinking about what I want.” He taps his hip.
Sephiroth considers this. “Were I to ask you, would you be there?”
Pleasure rolls in Zack’s chest.
“Yes.”
Silence stretches out between them and then it goes on too far. Did he say the wrong thing? Zack can’t see his face from this angle. He can feel him blinking and breathing against his skin. Still it isn’t quite enough to be sure. Sephiroth could be still thinking that Zack is pressuring him so he does what he does best.
“But…if you go to the hospital, you better get a room with a couch.”
Sephiroth takes the bait and stirs from his brain. “Why?”
“Because I am going to be by your side the entire time and no one, not even you, can tell me otherwise.”
A puff of air hits Zack. He smiles and continues.
“I’ll handcuff myself to your bed if I need to.” He squeezes him.
Another shake, it’s almost a laugh.
“They’ll have to throw me out and I’ll come back through the window. I’ll be a weed.”
Sephiroth turns his head further into him. “Zack…”
“Want to see an overprotective alpha? I’ll show you how I can beat them all.”
A ripple of a silent laugh breaks through the tension.
“That’s it! This is how I will finally earn a different reputation than being Angeal’s ‘puppy.’”
Sephiroth is shaking but it is turning and there is nothing that Zack can do about it.
“They’ll have to arrest me for trespassing before I stop.”
A nose gets pressed deep in his side.
“Shh,” he whispers and pulls him closer. Sephiroth lets him. Zack finally runs his fingers through his hair, at least leaving behind the distinct smell of Zack. It feels like the least he can do. Gently he dips and kisses the top of his head. “You don’t have to decide tonight. We-”
His next words are cut off by a deep and ragged inhale, followed by a shake. Zack closes his eyes and lets him lean into him. He lets Sephiroth take from him. These aren’t tears but the dam of emotions has broken.
If he needs to just be here for a moment, he could be. His fingers weave through his hair, tangling and untangling the strands. Sephiroth doesn’t move. There is a rawness to him, an exhaustion bubbling to the surface after hours of too much thought.
After a minute, Zack opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling before asking, “Can I?”
He feels the nod more than sees it.
Zack takes the folder on his leg and drops it on the floor. For something so essential to them, it falls out of view. It hits the floor at an angle and Zack is pretty sure the papers fall out. Ah well, it doesn’t matter. He’ll trip over them later but that is later and now there are more important things.
He shifts back, resting horizontally. He reaches and drags Sephiroth onto his chest. He moves willingly, slipping into that place that is familiar. Sephiroth weaves his hands underneath him, still somehow still colder than the rest of him. They shift around carefully, very sure that they are both entangled like this for the rest of the night.
Zack holds his breath, trying to find a way to address this and wondering if he should. Their weights settle against each other. The warmth is easy as it collects. Sephiroth says nothing, just stares at the fabric of Zack’s shirt. His hands are still tucked, keeping them close.
He’s being held onto.
Zack runs his fingers up and down his spine, making the pace as even as he can. Slowly the body above him starts to loosen. The room settles into something safer. Soon they will get sleepy. If Zack wants to say something, it is going to be now.
Of everyone, he’s the one that understands Sephiroth the most. No one else is going to say these words to him. There might not be another time when Sephiroth will be open to listen like he is listening right now.
“No matter what,” Zack says and Sephiroth shifts enough to meet his eyes. “You can still be an alpha and an omega if that is what you want, okay? We’ve just got to roll with this. Nobody else has to even know this happened at all.”
It could be his imagination but something shifts in Sephiroth’s worry. “Let’s keep it that way.”
“Okay. It’s our own secret mission.” Zack pauses, something pushing him just a half step further. “You can ask me for anything, you know that, right?”
Sephiroth blinks.
“I do.”
Relief spreads across his chest.
“Good.”