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Night captured the surroundings, cool air brushing past his face. The skatepark was desolate, only Langa and himself occupying it. Sitting atop the quarter pipe, he stared aimlessly at the few clouds above. Swallowing thickly, he knew there was no better time than now. Yet, still, a stabbing in his gut made him hesitate.
Instead of going to ‘S’, Reki had dragged Langa out here, knowing it would be empty. It had been a plan he sat over for hours before, trying to keep it as casual as possible. Refusing to let that time go to waste, he nodded silently, firing himself up.
Langa needed to know what a love hotel was.
Joe's words floated in his mind, a familiar vomitous feeling sinking in his stomach. It wasn’t as if anything terrible would happen, yet the idea of telling Langa everything that had happened with Snake frightened him. It was hard enough to tell Joe, only doing so because he had nowhere else to go, seeing a familiar suit and bolting without a second thought.
His legs dangled off the quarter pipe, searching for a way to start the conversation. Langa sat beside him, distracted by the stars above. It was a familiar scene, drenched in sweat and basically sleeping on the quarter pipe, side by side until they had to sneak back to their respective homes.
Fiddling with his fingers, cool air brushed by them, blue hair mused in the wind. Fighting for the courage, he couldn’t even look at him as he started, pointedly focused on the water bottle next to him. “Hey, Langa. Did you ever figure out what a… love hotel was?”
“That sounds familiar.” Pale skin pinched together, smiling at the awful memory. “Oh, right! You and Snake went there, right?”
“ No. ” He seethed, flushed at the implications. Langa blinked, taken back by the sudden shift. “Well- yes, technically. Kind of. We didn’t go... together, exactly.”
With a blank face, he prayed for the strength to make it through the conversation. Salt filled the air, trying to comfort himself with the familiar scent. “A love hotel is where adults go to be together. Privately.”
Furrowing his brow, a slight concern was starting to show on the pale face, blue eyes begging for more of an explanation. “Privately?”
“Privacy is the whole point because usually people do… intimate things there.” Running a hand down his face, it was flushed, the sickness twisting in his gut. “It’s illicit, okay? There , I said it. People go there because they don’t want the public knowing that they’re doing that stuff.”
Nodding, he took it surprisingly well, a mix of concern and a pensive look accompanying the slightly flushed cheeks. Unlike the embarrassment he expected, Langas eyes were dead-set, a familiar determination and coldness set in them. “And Snake, he took you there?”
With tense shoulders, all he could do was nod, humiliated at the admission. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s a really complicated story.”
With the admission, a crucial fact came to mind, grabbing Langas shoulders roughly. “I mean- it’s not like he did anything it was just really fucking weird and like, a hundred percent not my choice! I was totally out of it, I mean like, blacked out. Getting hit by a car does that to you, y’know?”
“You got hit by a car?!”
Snapping his jaw shut, it wasn’t a detail he hadn’t meant to include, hoping to brush by that segment for another time. Explaining one part was hard enough on him, having blurted it in a desperate explanation. “Kind of? That’s also complicated.”
Fully turning to him, he tried to let go of the desperate hold on his shoulders, warm hands catching his wrists. “Reki, did he hit you with his car?!”
Averting his eyes, he didn’t know how to explain it- on one hand, he could simply say, yes. It would be a slightly accurate explanation, but would leave out the crucial detail that the car was going pretty slowly and he only was knocked out because he had just been beaten up before that. Or, he could tell him the entire story, fight and all. Neither felt like a good option, slightly wishing he had never brought it up at all.
Langa hesitated at his lack of a response, letting go of his wrists, looking at them as if he hadn’t even meant to grab them. “Oh, sorry.”
“No, it’s just-” Reki paused, an inexplicable need for honesty stabbing at him. Taking a deep breath, Langa was content to wait, the furrow in his brow never leaving. “I’m going to explain something to you and you aren’t going to like it, okay? I don’t really like it either, so at least we’ll agree about that.”
Blue eyes were filled with uncertainty, a look he hated. “Is it- bad?”
“I really want to tell you no.” Admittedly, even he could see it was in fact, pretty bad. But a part of him would rather be dragged across the mountainside again before he admitted it, so he avoided the question. “But I’m just going to let you decide this one.”
Nodding readily, Langa was all too ready for his words, the concern never leaving his face. Reki sighed, fiddling with his headband, a welcome distraction. “So, back in the tournament when we were fighting, I went to the hospital when Shadow was there. I saw you and I freaked out and ran.”
Eyes lighting up, a piece of a puzzle was solved in Langas eyes. “I knew it was you! You were in the elevator!”
“I was. Um. Sorry for that, by the way.” Before Langa could go on a tangent about how great he thought he was, he moved on from the fact. “But Miya was there at the bottom and I was kinda an asshole to him, still freaking out, y’know? He was insistent on me coming with him to see everyone, to fix it all and I just… couldn’t. So, I bolted.”
“When I did I really thought the road was empty, but clearly, it turns out I was wrong.” Attempting to joke, Langas eyes were serious as ever, wishing that the situation could at least be slightly light-hearted. “But, it wasn’t going too fast, so I got pretty lucky. The only reason I blacked out was because I was pretty beat up.”
Wincing at his own words, he felt the need to correct himself, unable to deceive Langa. “Well, more like I got beat up. In a fight.”
“You-” Langa balked, eyes wide as the moon reflected off of them. Leaning forward, his eyes were slightly desperate, a more determined, violent expression capturing the other side. “Reki, tell me who.”
Flushed, he avoided the softness in his eyes, too frightened by the intimacy in his words. “There's nothing you can do, really. It’s not like I didn’t fight back either, but a one on three never really works out.”
Ignoring the horror in Langas eyes, he paused. “Actually, it might’ve been four, I can’t really remember. Either way, the point was I lost kinda badly, but Oka found me in the alley and he was the one who told me about Shadow being in the hospital.”
“What, he found you?” Langa ventured, the concern in his tone spiking. “You were just- knocked out in some alleyway?”
“A little?” Sheepishly, he responded. The attention was something he expected, part of the reason he didn’t want everyone to know. Enough things had already happened, never finding a timely reason to explain the deep bruises on his side. “You know when you’re just about to fall asleep but are still conscious enough to think and be awake? It was that.”
Lips parted, Langa didn’t seem to know how to take that, opening his mouth to speak multiple times. Ultimately, he nodded, jaw clenched tightly. “Okay. Yeah, okay. What else?”
“Right, we got off track there.” Trying to joke once again, it didn't land, too fresh and real to be humorous. “The rest is actually more simple, believe it or not. It’s true I wasn’t hit that hard, if I hadn’t been beat up I probably could’ve just stood up and walked it off.”
“But, y’know. So, we’re right next to the hospital, right? Apparently, Adam was his boss so that means he’s real important.” Attempting to be casual he threw in a shrug, memories of purple lights and a rotating bed were quite unfriendly. “So instead of being reasonable, he took me to some obscure expensive love hotel where he bribed me. A bunch of crap about not suing, quit skateboarding, blah blah. I wasn’t going to sue anyway, so he just wasted his time.”
Pallid eyes didn’t leave his face, pale skin furrowed. It was strange to watch Langa process it all in real time, mouth opening and closing multiple times before it all seemed to register. “Jesus.”
Nearly laughing at the simplicity, Reki only nodded, breathing deeply. “Yeah.”
Silence didn’t last long, interrupted by Langas slow speech. “I don’t want to push, but- um.”
Eyes narrowed, he adjusted the collar of his shirt. Smoothing out barely wrinkled fabric, it was as if he was trying to keep the words at bay, meeting his eyes when he finally had the courage. “Did he try anything?”
Heat pressed at his face, having had to explain the same thing to Joe. “No, nothing like that . Thank god.”
Deep in admission, he found the words spilling out of his chest, suddenly desperate to tell him every detail. “I was super freaked out about it, though.”
“I mean, just some guy appearing over my shoulder and telling me we were in a love hotel with no other explanation? It was… something. Waking up in some strange place was bad enough, but he was standing right behind this spinning bed like some butler!”
“A spinning bed?”
Nodding furiously, it was a weight off his chest to finally rant about it, the situation so absurd it was nearly impossible to understand. “This hotel was expensive, when I tried to stand up and leave, there was just another room! Then he was standing right behind me, just as close as we are, telling me where I was! I think I actually had a heart attack, Langa.”
“He put this envelope on the bed full of cash, told me not to sue then left me there alone . It took me about an hour to skate home!” Laughing, it fell dull, entirely hollowed by the disdain he held from the memory.
“You’re so casual about this.” Langas eyes were filled with concern, looking at him with a worry he hadn’t ever seen before. A warm hand gripped his own, their eyes meeting. “That’s fucking terrifying! Do you realize that? Thats- awful . That’s awful!”
Taken aback by his intensity, Langa continued, squeezing his hand. “He could’ve done anything, Reki! I don’t- I think I’m more worried for you than you are!”
Trying to reassure him, he smiled weakly. “It’s not like he did anything, after all. I was pretty lucky, actually.”
“That’s not luck, Reki!” Desperately, Langa leaned in, never taking his eyes away from him. “I don’t care that he didn’t ‘ do ’ anything, I care about the fact that he took you there at all! No matter who his boss is, you were directly outside of a hospital and he decided to drive out to a secluded- love hotel? That’s insane !”
Having no argument, Langas words did truly register. It was easier to ignore how odd the situation was, actively trying to ignore what had happened in favor of the tournament. But now, with no buffer, he found it coming back to mind more frequently, alongside the man's appearances in his life.
The facts of it all came crumpling down on him, the idea of it all truly frightening. Gripping the hand Langa offered, he lowered his head, not wanting him to see the building distress on his face. “I’m so sorry , Langa. I didn't want you to worry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Langa hushed, a slight panic in his tone from the state of him. “No, don’t ever be sorry about things like this.”
Clutching pale hands, he let his forehead drop onto it, Langa intent gaze never leaving him. “I just don’t want you to go through these things alone. I want you to tell me, even if it's awful like this, because- god, Reki. It’s just terrible.”
“I know, it’s bad.” The admission was guilt-ridden, craving to laugh it off or run away from the conversation until he had nowhere else to go. Instead, sitting atop a quarter pipe, he relented, shoulders slumping. “It's just so much sometimes, it would feel like I’m just asking for pity, y’know? I’ve had worse things happen.”
With a twisted expression, pale hands squeezed his own, lifting his head to meet concerned blue eyes. “That doesn't make this any better.”
“I do have something that makes it a little worse, though.” Eyes flickering down, he couldn’t stand the fear on Langas face, desperate to mend it. “I saw him again on the street, got totally worked up so I just bolted. I ducked into Joe's restaurant and it turns out he was following me because he was trying to give me more money.”
Smiling weakly, there was no true happiness in it. Doing it only so he felt as if he had something to do, eyes flickering to their hands, still interlocked. “That’s what brought this all up, Joe told me it was better to tell you before you found out on your own.”
“So, this was recent?” Langas brow furrowed, as if trying to add up the times. “Has he bothered you like this for a while now?”
“Kinda? You were there for the second time.” Sheepishly, he shrugged. “Love hotel, tournament invite, two weeks ago at ‘S’ and the thing with Joe. That’s really it.”
“At ‘S’?”
“He works as a cap-man, he blends in real easy.” The memory was simple, another prolonged conversation about billing and society that he was only half listening to. Once he had spotted light blue hair in the crowd, he happily had taken his leave. “Honestly, he’s everywhere- I wouldn’t be surprised if he helps run things.”
Langa looked unsatisfied by that, eyes narrowed. “Where was I?”
“I think you were getting us a drink? I was waiting around for Miya.” A real smile came to his face, recalling the only happy part of that memory. “Actually, you kinda saved me from another speech, I was able to dip when I saw you in the crowd.”
Brow furrowed, Langa looked near guilty, a pensive look overtaking him. “I wish I knew. I wouldn’t have left you alone.”
“Like I said, nothing you could do, he kinda just shows up sometimes.” Pausing, he thought of Joe, smiling slightly. “But after what Joe did, I’m pretty sure I’ll be good for a while.”
“Joe? What did he do?”
“When I ducked into his restaurant, get this- Snake came in and asked for me! Joe basically jumped across the counter when he said that, grabbing his shirt, getting in his face and everything.”
Instead of the smile he expected, Langa just looked worried. Wrinkled skin and the sickly expression didn’t fade even after he had explained it all, leaving a twist in his gut.
Waiting for him to speak, nothing came, forced to ask. “…Langa?”
With nothing but air between them, it was easy to hear the deep breath he took. “I’m just thinking about everything. There’s a lot I still want to know because- how can so much happen so quickly? How did I not know?”
“It was the tournament and all.” He comforted. “Plus, I didn’t say anything on purpose. It’s really not your fault you didn’t notice, I was trying to make it so nobody did.”
“But with Snake showing up, I’d rather tell you on my own terms than have you find out on your own. So, ask whatever you want, I guess. I might not have an answer, though.”
Without any words, Langas expression folded into desperation. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around his shoulders instead, burying his face in the crook of his neck.
Unaccustomed to the feel, Reki placed his hands on Langas back, unsure of exactly what he was doing. “Langa? What’s up, dude?”
Pale hands gripped his shirt. Warmth ran up his neck, strands of blue hair tickling his collarbone. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, Reki.”
Words were mumbled into his skin, Langa only pulling him further against his chest. Flushed, his hands were not unwelcome, just unexpected- unsure of how to react. “Ah.”
“Well it’s not like I wasn’t a little scared.” He tried to laugh, fiddling aimlessly with blue strands of hair. Thoughts of an overwhelming rose smell flooded back to him, standing with no escape with the older man behind him. Blank green eyes bore straight through him, standing slightly too close for comfort as he whispered into his ear, ‘ a love hotel ’.
Sinking into the tight hold, he was grateful for the grounding arm around him, throat feeling clogged now. “Actually, I was fucking terrified, man.”
“I was.” Slowly, his resolve broke, warm arms around him only holding him tighter as he began to shake, fabric crushed beneath his fingers. “I was so scared, Langa.”
“It’s okay.” Vibrations rang through his shoulder, the mumbled words tickling. “I’m here, Reki.”
The sound of his own name made the fabric between his fingers crumple, ignoring the pain in his knees, digging into the pipe below. Brushing blue hair with his fingers, the softness was unfamiliar yet welcominging, sinking into it akin to quicksand. Heaviness rested in his throat, swallowing thickly.
Wind brushed by their frame, pressed so close together they became one. Pale arms held him with a single care, clutching his hoodie. Reacting similarly, he ignored the night skies above in favor of blinding blue, chasing the warmth as he curled around him. “Langa.”
Speaking was pointless, losing the meaning before even having tried. Subtlety couldn't help, everything revealed in his shaking frame. Despite it, he forced his mouth open again, apologizes spilling out before all else. “I’m sorry, Langa. I’m so sorry- I always mess this up.”
Smiling emptily, the mention of their own situation only made it all the more real, his own whispers falling onto deaf ears. “I should’ve just told you, look at us now.”
Warmth escaped his arms, a hollowness filing his chest. Everything pilled inside was spilling out in a shaking demeanor, aching to pull Langa back against his chest, twirl a finger around blue hair. Quelling his emotions, he stuffed his hands onto the floor, eyes flickering down. It was impossible to face him, knowing his own guilt in the situation.
Brow furrowed, salt filled the air, not close enough to taste the lavender leftover. Craving it, he wet his lips. Fighting to remain still, it quickly became impossible, drumming his fingers against cold metal. Avoiding blue eyes, he took a shaking breath. “So, what about that new trick you’ve been working on? How’s it going?”
“ Reki .”
Desperosity laced his tone, finally meeting pallid eyes drowning in worry. Pale fingers interlocked with his own, heat building on his face. “...Langa?”
Focused on the warmth in his hand, it wasn’t comparable to his flaming cheeks, no explanation for the hand in his own. “Don’t just- Don’t say that.”
Narrowed eyes glistened, unable to tell if from light or tears, it made his stomach twist all the same. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“No, that!” Gripping his hands with both of his own, he held it between them, pushing forward. “What do you have to be sorry for? You’re blaming yourself for being hit by a car! And- kidnapped, Jesus, Reki! I’m begging you to be mad at anything else!”
“There’s a million things wrong with this and you automatically assume it’s all you! And- that’s wrong, believe me. Just because something happens doesn't mean you deserve it in some way, bad things happen just because they do!”
A million thoughts passed his mind, throat dry as Langa professed his words. Confidence radiated off of him, as if there was nothing more true than what he had just said. Breathing deeply, cool night air flooded through him, giving him the strength to listen to him even as his face burned. “I know. It’s just- habit. I guess.”
“You’re incredible in every way. Beyond the amazing way you can skate, you’re so resilient and brave even when you don’t realize. You’re kind and patient and-”
“ Langa. ” Squeezing pale hands, his face flushed. “What are you doing?”
Blinking, he acted as if it were obvious. “I’m telling you you’re great.”
“Clearly.” He huffed, the overwhelming feeling from before lifting. “I meant- why?”
“Just so you know, I guess.”
With two hands in his own, a laugh bubbled from his stomach. So simple, yet absurd, it was impossible to ignore the sentiment behind his words. The weight of confession was lifted off him, grateful for Joe having pushed him forward promises of food and celebration now awaiting. Langa joined him with a smaller smile, another untimely confession resting in his chest.
Indulging himself, he kept his hand around Langas, having the bravery to meet his eyes. “I think we should go bother Joe.”
“That sounds perfect.”