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Binman: 1743: Javy I need to ask you a question and I need you not to be weird
Coyote Ugly: 1744: Before you do, ask yourself two things: 1: does this question really need to be asked? 2: Is there anything better I could be doing on a Tuesday evening than pestering my best friend?
Binman: 1744: The answers are yes and no respectively
Binman: 1744: Do you think Rooster and Phoenix are together?
Coyote Ugly: 1745: Maybe, I think I saw them leaving the gym together like 10 minutes ago.
Binman: 1745: No together together
Binman: 1745: Intimate
Binman: 1745: Lovers
Binman: 1745: Bumping uglies
Coyote Ugly: 1746: Okay thank you I get it.
Binman: 1746: …well???
Coyote Ugly: 1746: I dunno man, why don’t you ask them? Why do you even care?
Binman: 1746: For a smart guy you sure do say some stupid things sometimes
Binman: 1746: Obviously I can't ask them
Binman: 1747: Rooster would punch me in the face and Phoenix would rip my spine out and beat me with it
Binman: 1747: Neither is appealing
Coyote Ugly: 1747: Remind me why this is any of your business?
Binman: 1747: I like to know things
Binman: 1747: Aren't you curious??
Coyote Ugly: 1747: Not really. What they get up to in their own time is up to them.
Binman: 1748: Okay but like if you had to guess
Coyote Ugly: 1748: I think they're just friends, bud.
Binman: 1748: That’s what everyone says but I've been watching them real closely and there's something going on between them
Binman: 1748: I've made a list
Coyote Ugly: 1749: Jake, you sound insane.
Binman: 1749: 1. Weirdly touchy feely. Pretty sure Phoenix smacked Rooster’s bum after our hop yesterday and he didn’t seem to mind
2. When they get really drunk they sing duets to each other. Sometimes Celine Dion (even if not a clue, should be illegal)
3. They do that creepy thing where they communicate through eyebrow movement (side note: should I start training my eyebrows to be more dexterous?)
4. I once heard Rooster refer to Phoenix as: 'Scatty Ratty Natty'. If anyone else called her that they'd be eviscerated (also, weird)
5. I saw him coming out of her room the other night at like past midnight. On a weeknight!
6. Fanboy swears they have matching tattoos. I haven't seen Phoenix in a state of undress so not sure if this is true or not. Come to think of it I don’t think Fanboy has either so he's probably lying
7. He lets her drive his Jeep
8. I had a dream once where they kissed
9. Phoenix mentioned spending last Thanksgiving with Rooster and his family in passing. You don’t spend Thanksgiving with someone else’s family unless you’re fucking
10. The ~vibe~
Coyote Ugly: 1750: Okay the fact that you sent this so quickly leads me to think you didn’t just type it all out which means you definitely copied it from your notes app. Just how long have you been writing this list?
Binman: 1750: This list is the result of many years of careful study
Coyote Ugly: 1750: YEARS?! You’ve been thinking about this for years?
Binman: 1750: It’s not weird
Coyote Ugly: 1751: It is weird, Jake. It’s so weird. I'm actually quite concerned. Where are you currently? I feel like we need to discuss this in person.
Binman: 1751: Rec room
Binman: 1751: Okay but after seeing the list have you changed your mind at all??
Coyote Ugly: 1751: The only thing I'm thinking after seeing the list is that you’ve finally lost the plot but hey, if you're that consumed by it then let’s bring in an expert…
Binman: 1751: What are you doing?
Binman: 1751: Javy??
Coyote Ugly added Bob to Jake’s Slow Decline Into Insanity
Bob: 1752: Hey guys! :)
Coyote Ugly: 1752: Jake has lost the plot.
Binman: 1752: I hate you
Bob: 1752: Sorry :(
Binman: 1752: Not you
Binman: 1753: My snake of a best friend
Bob: 1753: It’s nice that you and Coyote are best friends :)
Binman: 1753: We’re not friends anymore Bob. Keep up
Bob: 1753: Sorry :(
Binman: 1753: I suppose since you’re here I might as well ask you
Bob: 1753: If this is about what Phoenix did to your flight suit then I swear I tried to stop her
Binman: 1754: Wait what did she do to my flight suit?!?!
Bob: 1754: Oh. Nothing??
Coyote Ugly: 1754: Let’s not stray from the real issue at hand here, Jake.
Binman: 1754: We can come back to my flight suit later
Binman: 1754: I wanted to know if you thought Rooster and Phoenix were fucking?
Coyote Ugly: 1754: He’s made a list
Coyote Ugly sent a screenshot
Bob: 1755: Oh this is weird :/
Coyote Ugly: 1755: RIGHT?!
Bob: 1755: Really weird
Binman: 1755: I don’t need your commentary, just answer the question
Bob: 1755: Hang on, I’ll just ask Nat
Binman: 1756: What?!
Binman: 1756: Bob!!
Bob: 1756: She’s sat right next to me, I’ll ask her now
Binman: 1756: BOB NO
Binman: 1756: BOB
Binman: 1756: NO
Coyote Ugly: 1757: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Binman: 1757: BOOB STOP
Binman: 1757: BOB!!!!!
Bob: 1801: She agrees that the list is weird
Binman: 1801: What the fuck Bob don’t show her the list
Bob: 1801: Too late, she's already seen it, sorry. I think she liked it though, I haven't seen her laugh that much in forever
Binman: 1802: Have you ever heard of something called ‘bro code’ Bob?
Bob: 1802: Nat is my bro and you’re kind of a dick so my allegiance is with her, sorry :/
Coyote Ugly: 1802: Fair enough.
Binman: 1802: No it isn't?!
Bob: 1802: Anyway she said
Bob: 1802: Actually I’ll just add her so she can tell you herself
Binman: 1803: Don’t you fucking dare
Bob added Nix to the chat
Binman: 1803: Phoenix
Nix: 1803: Bagman
Coyote Ugly: 1803: Hotel
Bob: 1803: Trivago
Binman: 1804: I hate all of you. I want to leave this chat
Nix: 1804: But then how will you find out the answer to your burning question?
Binman: 1804: I don’t want to know the answer anymore
Coyote Ugly: 1804: He’s dying to know. I can tell.
Nix: 1805: Has anyone already asked him how long ago he started that list?
Coyote Ugly: 1805: Years ago apparently. Don’t worry, I'm looking for psychiatric help for him as we speak.
Binman: 1805: I didn’t start the list years ago!
Binman: 1805: I wrote the list last week after watching you for years
Bob: 1805: That actually sounds a bit worrying. Like you’ve been stalking them…
Nix: 1806: That’s the only part that worries you Bob?
Bob: 1806: No, I'm deeply concerned for Hangman’s mental health. Do you think we should report him somewhere? So he can get help?
Binman: 1806: I'M RIGHT HERE GUYS
Binman: 1806: AND I DON’T NEED HELP
Binman: 1806: IM PERFECTLY FINE
Binman: 1806: I WAS JUST CURIOUS
Coyote Ugly: 1807: On a scale of 1-10 how much do you regret asking me?
Binman: 1807: 5 billion
Coyote Ugly: 1807: Good, maybe you’ll think twice before asking me stupid questions next time.
Nix: 1807: Ooh buuurn
Binman: 1807: You're not funny
Nix: 1807: Everyone who’s ever met me would disagree
Bob: 1808: Maybe you just don’t get her sense of humour? It’s actually hilarious if you’re smart enough to understand it
Coyote Ugly: 1808: Ooh buuuurn!
Binman: 1808: Okay thank you everyone. You're all dicks and I hate you
Nix: 1808: Before you storm off like a stroppy teenager, don’t you want to know the answer to your question?
Binman: 1808: I don’t care anymore, I'm handing in my wings and starting a new life as a civilian
Binman: 1808: As far away from you all as possible
Binman: 1808: I hear Mongolia is nice this time of year
Binman: 1808: Or perhaps Tibet
Nix: 1809: Let me know if you need help packing
Binman: 1809: I hate you all
Binman left the chat
Bob: 1809: I feel bad
Nix: 1809: You shouldn’t
Bob: 1809: What if he's having some sort of breakdown and we’ve pushed him over the edge?
Coyote Ugly: 1810: He’s fine. He’s just got this weird thing about Rooster.
Nix: 1810: Is that what they're calling it nowadays? Well you can tell him I’d like to set the record straight and confirm that Fanboy has never seen me in a state of undress
Coyote Ugly: 1810: I'm sure Hangman will be thrilled to hear that. Now that he’s gone will you tell me if you're secretly hooking up with Rooster?
Nix: 1810: Don’t ask dumb questions
Coyote Ugly: 1810: Dumb because you're not hooking up, or dumb because it’s not secret?
Nix: 1810: Yes
Coyote Ugly: 1810: ???
Bob: 1811: Do you think someone should check on Hangman?
Coyote Ugly: 1811: I have eyes on him, he's furiously typing something on his phone.
Bob: 1811: Good God, do you think he’s adding more to the list?!
Coyote Ugly: 1811: I've just asked and he said he's writing his letter of resignation.
Nix: 1811: I can't help but admire his commitment to the bit
Coyote Ugly: 1812: Sometimes I really think we should give him credit for being funnier.
Nix: 1812: I don’t
Bob: 1812: Yeah I wouldn’t go that far…
Coyote Ugly: 1812: He's funny!
Bob: 1812: Let’s get another opinion
Bob added Chicken Little to the chat
Coyote Ugly: 1813: Bob, you can't keep adding people into the chat.
Bob: 1813: I’ll take that under advisement, thank you :)
Chicken Little: 1813: S’up bitches (informal use of ‘bitches’, not derogatory)
Nix: 1813: You don’t have to clarify that every time
Chicken Little: 1813: I’d hate to offend
Bob: 1814: Rooster, do you think Hangman is funny?
Chicken Little: 1814: Like funny weird or funny ha ha?
Nix: 1814: Funny ha ha
Chicken Little: 1814: Oh, then no
Nix: 1814: See! The only person who thinks Binman is funny is you Coyote and that’s only because the two of you have a weird co-dependent relationship that’s melted your brain
Coyote Ugly: 1815: We don’t have a weird relationship.
Bob: 1815: Didn’t he make you go back to Texas with him last thanksgiving to ride horses?
Coyote Ugly: 1815: How is that weird?
Bob: 1815: Horses are weird, man
Nix: 1815: Brokeback Mountain vibes
Bob: 1815: Lol
Chicken Little: 1816: Bet Hangman looks good in a cowboy hat
Nix: 1816: ???
Bob: 1816: ??!???
Chicken Little: 1816: What? I'm just saying!
Coyote Ugly sent a photo
Chicken Little: 1817: See! He does
Bob: 1817: That’s a lovely photo :)
Nix: 1818: It’s giving: I'm in love with another man and scared he’ll never love me back
Nix: 1818: Also: I have a tiny dick so am wearing this massive hat to compensate
Coyote Ugly: 1818: Natasha!!
Nix: 1818: What? It does
Bob: 1818: He doesn’t
Nix: 1818: What?
Bob: 1818: Have a tiny dick
Coyote Ugly: 1819: BOB!!!!
Nix: 1819: WHAT THE FUCK
Nix: 1819: ?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!!!!
Bob: 1819: Don’t make it weird
Chicken Little: 1819: Too late buddy
Bob: 1819: We share locker rooms okay. I glanced. Briefly. Accidentally.
Nix: 1820: I would like the record to state that Bob is currently the colour of a tomato
Bob: 1820: It was an accident!!! Google told me it wasn’t a sin if it was an accident :(
Coyote Ugly: 1820: You Googled whether it was a sin to accidentally look at another man’s junk?
Nix: 1820: I need to know what other stuff is happening in your locker room because it sounds wild. Halo and I just blatantly stare at each other’s bodies like normal people
Chicken Little: 1821: We’ll circle back to that later
Coyote Ugly added Binman to the chat
Nix: 1821: Why have you added him back? We only just managed to get rid of him
Coyote Ugly: 1821: He could tell something was going on. I couldn’t look him in the eye. It felt wrong to discuss his dick without him present.
Binman: 1821: You're discussing my dick?!
Chicken Little: 1822: Unfortunately
Binman: 1822: Rooster is here too?!?!
Bob: 1822: Before you report us to HR, please know that we’ve said nothing but positive things
Coyote Ugly: 1822: Jake is staring unblinkingly into space. I think we’ve broken something within him.
Nix: 1822: Hopefully not his perfect dick
Coyote Ugly: 1822: That is so inappropriate.
Chicken Little: 1822: Funny though
Coyote Ugly: 1823: Is it?
Nix: 1823: Yes
Chicken Little: 1823: Yes
Bob: 1823: It is a little bit, but if we’re making Hangman uncomfortable then we’ll stop
Nix renamed the chat: Hangman’s Perfect Penis
Coyote renamed the chat: Bullying Is A Sin
Coyote Ugly: 1824: He's still staring.
Coyote Ugly sent a picture
Nix: 1824: The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead
Chicken Little: 1824: Not a thought behind those pretty eyes
Nix: 1824: Ask him if he’s ever watched Brokeback Mountain
Nix renamed the chat: I Wish I Knew How To Quit You
Coyote Ugly: 1824: Useful suggestions only please.
Nix: 1825: Slap him
Bob: 1825: Gently
Chicken Little: 1825: On the ass
Nix: 1825: ???
Chicken Little: 1825: That’s what I'd do
Coyote Ugly: 1825: Tell us more about that please, Rooster.
Chicken Little: 1826: Nothing else to say. He’d probably squawk, it would be funny
Nix: 1826: Interesting
Bob: 1826: Very interesting…
Coyote Ugly: 1826: We’re in the rec room if you want to come and test that theory.
Bob: 1826: Do you think we’re going to Hell for this??
Nix: 1827: Now is not the time for you to be struck with Catholic guilt, we’re trying to get Rooster to touch Hangman’s ass
Bob: 1827: It feels wrong
Bob: 1827: Morally
Bob: 1827: Spiritually
Bob: 1827: Ergonomically
Coyote Ugly: 1827: Have you tried Googling it?
Chicken Little: 1828: I’ll swing by
Nix: 1828: To slap his ass?!
Nix: 1828: Roo, to slap his ass?!?
Coyote renamed the chat: Operation Touch The Butt
Bob: 1828: Coyote, do you have eyes on Rooster?!
Coyote Ugly: 1832: I can hear him walking down the corridor.
Coyote Ugly: 1832: He's whistling Country Roads what do you think that means?
Nix: 1832: I don’t know??! That he has shit taste in music??
Bob: 1833: Do you think we should buy Rooster a cowboy hat for his birthday? :)
Nix: 1833: Only if it’s attached to Hangman lol
Nix: 1835: Is he in the room?
Coyote Ugly: 1836: Yea
Coyote Ugly: 1836: Rooster has his sluttiest floral shirt on
Nix: 1836: Oh shit, the one with the blue flowers?
Coyote Ugly: 1836: Yes
Coyote Ugly: 1840: I can't hear what they're talking about
Coyote Ugly: 1840: Rooster keeps pointing at Jake's crotch
Coyote Ugly: 1840: Should I intervene?
Nix: 1840: DO NOT INTERVENE
Coyote Ugly: 1843: I'm trying to read Jake's lips I think he said ‘I make revenge stew ’
Coyote Ugly: 1843: Why would he say that?
Coyote Ugly: 1843: What does it mean?
Nix: 1847: Try and get closer to hear what they're saying. Bob and I are on our way to try and see what's happening through the window
Coyote Ugly: 1847: Be subtle!!
Bob: 1847: Yes, boss :)
Coyote Ugly: 1855: I'm under the table
Coyote Ugly: 1855: I still can't hear anything
Coyote Ugly: 1855: THAT’S BECAUSE THEY'RE KISSING GUYS THEY'RE KISSING SOS
Coyote Ugly: 1856: I'M TRAPPED
Bob: 1858: We can see you through the window
Nix: 1858: And Roo and Bagman. Hot. Even if Roo has a terrible taste in men
Coyote Ugly: 1858: FOCUS
Coyote Ugly: 1858: Open the window I'm going to crawl over and climb out before they notice me
Nix: 1858: Use their temporary distraction with each other’s tongues to your advantage
Bob: 1859: Move fast because Rooster’s hand is heading towards Hangman’s fly
Coyote Ugly: 1859: Don’t watch them Bob!! Close your eyes!!
Nix: 1900: The window is open, I'm ready to catch you
Nix: 1900: Don’t aim for Bob, his eyes are closed
Nix: 1900: GO GO GO!
Daddy Mav And His Kick-Ass Kids
Nix: 2114: I would just like to reassure everyone that the medic says Bob’s concussion is only very minor and that he’ll be completely fine by the morning and apparently Coyote’s wrist isn't actually sprained, he's just being a pussy
Mav: 2115: Thank goodness! Now will someone please explain to me what Coyote was doing throwing himself out a window? Also do you know how to change the name of the chat?
Nix: 2115: No idea how to do that, sorry Daddy Mav!
Nix: 2115: Will you snitch on us to the COMPACFLT?
Mav: 2116: My partner of over twenty years? My husband? My wingman?
Nix: 2116: Yeah lol
Mav: 2116: Nah, course not
Nix: 2116: Okay so how aware are you of Hangman’s perfect dick?