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Fuck The Beatles.
He didn’t dislike them, or else he wouldn’t put their music in one of his playlists, also, Matt considered himself to be pretty eclectic and always listened on shuffle. But why this fucking song had to play right now when he was trying to forget what happened last night? Matt threw his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, annoyed. He had left the apartment because it started to feel unbearably hot and claustrophobic and, while he hated to be outside, sometimes it helps him breathe and calm down a little, if he does not stay too long. Unfortunately, today being out did nothing to help him and he just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury himself alive. He couldn’t come back to the apartment right now and he didn’t want to walk, so he just sat on the sidewalk and lit another cigarette as “The Night Before” continued to play on his MP3. It could have been a nice relaxing moment, but it wasn’t, because his head was on what happened the day before, and it hurt him knowing that he was the only one that was thinking about it.
Yesterday was a day just like every other: Matt was laying on the couch chain smoking after finishing a task that was assigned to him to be finished two days ago and that he postponed as much as he could. Cables, laptops, papers, leftovers, and some pieces of clothing were decorating the floor, but, beside the mess, everything was okay. That is, until Mello stormed through the door and stopped in front of him. Matt sat, put the cigarette in the mug that he was using as an ashtray by the table and looked up at him. At that angle, his thin, barely visible eyebrows looked more frown than usual. That look would intimidate anyone else, but not him.
“You’re blocking the TV.” He was not, in fact, watching it.
Mello didn’t answer or move, staring at Matt’s face with the same expression, his lips pressed into a line.
“Is there something wrong? Did the meeting go well?”
It sure didn’t, he already knew before even asking because he was good at reading Mello’s face. What he didn’t know was that it was as bad as to drive him insane, in Matt’s point of view. He took this conclusion due to the fact that as soon as Matt finished the question, Mello’s hand grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer and smacking their lips together. It took some seconds for Matt to fully realize what was happening and correspond to the kiss, but, once he did, his hands readily laid on Mello’s hips. Matt wasn’t quite standing or sitting, he didn’t have a good balance, so the position ended up being kinda weird, but it still felt good once they found their own rhythm. Matt was still confused but there was no way he was going to refuse a kiss from the boy he secretly has a crush on since he was twelve.
Abruptly, Mello let go of the stripped cloth and pushed Matt, who fell sitting on the sofa; looking confused and annoyed at the blonde, he heard an almost inaudible “fuck” and noticed that he was looking at the door. Matt got up properly and, anticipating his movements, held his wrist to stop him from walking away, then kissed him with the same fervor they shared before. Mello returned the kiss immediately and put his hands on Matt’s shoulders after his wrist was released. Matt was the one leading the way so he sat at the sofa and Mello sat on his lap; for a moment, the kiss was slower and it could even be seen as romantic to an outsider, given the passion that noticeably was being put into. It didn’t last long, though, since Mello once again conducted the pace for it to be wilder. Matt couldn’t breathe properly, he was panting in the middle of the kiss, but he couldn’t take a break since he was afraid that if they stopped, it would ruin everything. Mello pressed their hips together, and Matt laid his head back, letting a soft moan escape his lips. Matt kept his head resting on the couch when he noticed that Mello didn’t get up, taking the break he didn’t want to (but needed) as he tried to normalize his breath. The exposed skin of his neck was where Mello’s lips found their place: he placed kisses, licks and hickeys on the thin pale skin that would be bruised by the next morning.
Matt’s attempt to regain control over his breath turned out to be a failure, and his moans, which were becoming more frequent as the touches continued, ended up filling the air along with the TV’s sounds. He didn’t know his neck was that sensitive, but perhaps it was Mello’s fault for making it feel so good. Noticing that there was nothing he could do to stop panting, Matt pulled the zipper of Mello’s vest with one hand while the other grabbed his ass to press him harder against his groin. The leather squeaked with the touch, but what was music to Matt’s ears was not this noise but Mello’s gasp: his lips stopped touching Matt’s neck for a brief moment and the sound lasted mere seconds, but it was enough for it to echo in Matt’s mind for a couple more. What was kinda funny, was that this was not even close to what Matt thought Mello would sound like (because, yeah, he thought about it more than a couple times). In his imagination, he would not sound that soft, but rather close to his normal tone of voice while talking, which had a strong presence on its own. But now, having a taste of what he was like, he was a hundred percent sure that the real thing was way better than his dreams.
“Do you want to go to the bedroom?” Matt asked, whispering in Mello’s ears. He kissed his lobe, feeling the cold metal of the earrings in his tongue.
Mello just grumbled “no”. Okay, this is fine, there is no need to move if the couch is working well for them, right? Even though the bed would be way more comfortable and appropriate, and perhaps it would feel more special, and they could nap together afterwards, and Matt's mind got lost for a moment, he could feel the anxiety starting to build up on him. If they won't go to the bedroom, he could at least do his best for it to be good, after all, it didn’t need to be romantic, and that thought helped Matt to calm down a little bit. Bringing himself back to the moment, he put both his hands on Mello’s waist, through the inside of his vest, making skin to skin contact. He caressed his sides and felt him shiver to the touch, his skin was soft and surprisingly warm, unlike the tips of his fingers which were touching his jaw. They shared another kiss, Mello tugged at his hair and Matt moved his hands up, he touched his toned arms and then removed the already open vest without moving his lips away.
Mello changed the placement of his hands from Matt’s hair to his belly, touching him from the inside of his shirt but only for a brief moment, since his target was below it. His thin fingers quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, making it easier for his hand to slip in and squeeze his dick over the boxer. His cock was freed from the briefs and pants without the need to unclothe his bottom half completely, and after feeling the skin to skin contact that Mello provided when he finally held him without any cloth barriers, he rolled his eyes and interrupted the kiss to bite his own lips. Matt was specially sensible and needy, but couldn’t find the reason why (or he couldn’t admit to himself that it was his partner that had him feeling like that).
“Fuck, take off your pants.” Matt whispered, anxious for the next steps. His lips were really close to Mello’s, but they didn’t kiss.
“Don't rush me.”
The answer was on the same volume, since there was no need to be louder to be heard, given the distance between the two, but it had a harsh tone. It was not, however, demonstrating true annoyment: Matt could be sure of this not only because of the way his lips were slightly curved, but also because Mello got up off his lap and started to undress. He untied the shoelaces of his boots first, then removed the heavy black shoes. Matt watched him, amazed by his ability to untie his complicated leather pants and glad that he was not the one doing it since he would probably take a while figuring out how to do it. Quickly, Mello removed his pants and tossed them to a corner.
“Do you have a condom?” The blonde asked as he crossed his arms. His dick was hard and Matt couldn’t take his eyes off it. It was cleanly shaved, just like his entire body.
“In the bedroom, I guess.” Matt didn’t remember the last time he fucked, but he knew he gotta have a condom and some lube in one of his drawers. He blinked a couple times and looked away as he put his dick inside the boxer and zipped his pants, then he got up. “I’ll go get it.”
He went to the bedroom directly to the wardrobe, opened his drawers and started looking for what he needed. His mind was so concentrated on this mission that he didn’t even listen to Mello following him and sitting on the bed. He acknowledged him when he found what he wanted and turned over, gladly it didn’t take much time and it really was inside one of the messy drawers.
“Oh, I thought you didn’t want to go to the bedroom.” Matt said as he approached Mello with the lube and the condom in his hands.’
“Did you really think I would stay there, naked, waiting for you?” He laughed, a genuine laugh that only Matt is allowed to hear. One of his hands was slowly stroking his cock, and, when Matt stopped in front of him, the other opened his jeans and lowered both his pants and briefs just enough to expose the hard member, which he started masturbating at the same pace he was using on himself.
“Yeah, I sure did.” Matt said with irony to masquerade the fact that he, indeed, thought Mello would wait in the living room. He put one hand on Mello’s head, caressing his hair; it was different to look at him at that angle, slightly below him. The distance became bigger when Mello got on his knees in front of him, his blue eyes maintaining intense eye contact. Matt grabbed the blonde locks, leading him to shorten the space between his dick and the other’s mouth. Mello’s soft lips parted a little and he brushed them over the tip, disposing some kisses on it. The hand that was masturbating before, stopped at the base to firmly hold it in place, and his mouth moved to the sides of the penis, giving some attention to the length. Matt was able to contain himself, not making a lot of sounds beside his heavy breath and occasional sighs. Mello took his time teasing him, but Matt didn’t rush him, they were both enjoying it. Matt looked at the ceiling for a moment, and when he looked down to see Mello again, his eyes were closed and his mouth was opened. His lips stretched over the sensitive head, sucking it gently then kissing it again, all Matt could do was watch the beautiful scene in awe.
Mello’s fingers traveled their way from Matt’s hip to his thigh and, by lightly caressing his fingers over the skin, he could feel the boy shiver. Under his navel, a line of darker hair made its way to his groin and Mello noticed that the hair of the area was trimmed. Matt didn’t shave any part of his body, he couldn’t care less about removing everything like Mello did, so he preferred to just trim sometimes. The blonde rubbed and squeezed his thigh, while his mouth was still working on the tip of the other’s cock, then moved his hands to cup Matt’s testicles. The touch was delicate as the sensitive area required it to be, and he liked it a lot. Carefully, the thumb massaged it over the very thin skin, and Matt thought that such a dainty touch didn’t have the right to feel so intense – in a good way. The area could offer Matt even more pleasure with the right stimulus, so Mello complied with it: he gave Matt’s glans a final lick, just so he could kiss his testicles. He kept holding the base of the dick, adjusting its position so he could have more access to the balls. His lips were wet and he put a light pressure in the act, alternating between kisses and licks. Mello then put his entire mouth over them, twirling his tongue around. Matt was going insane, he could probably cum just with that, without having his dick touched. He had never received something like this.
Mello stopped, opened his eyes and looked at Matt’s face with an innocent smile that contrasted with the things he was doing. He decided that he already teased the poor boy enough, he was leaking precum and wasn’t even blown properly. Putting an end to the provocation, Mello put part of the length inside his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks, providing some suction, and little by little took more of it, until almost the entire penis was inside his mouth. The blonde started bobbing his head, taking it off almost completely then putting it in again. His eyes watered when he felt the tip of the dick touching the back of his throat and contained his gag reflex, but he didn’t close them, struggling to keep looking at Matt’s expressions. His cheeks were flushed, and the freckles seemed less noticeable with the blush. His bottom lip, red and wet from all the kissing, was between his teeth in an attempt to not be too loud, and every noise that managed to escape made Mello want to order him to stop biting it so he would be able to hear more of his moans. Unfortunately, he was too busy to speak, but he gave himself a challenge to make Matt feel so much pleasure that it would be impossible for him to be quiet. Mello closed his eyes in order to give all his attention to the blowjob. One hand held Matt’s dick by the base, keeping it still, and the other laid on his hip bone.
“Can you go faster?” Matt asked. He was starting to get impatient and almost desperate to relieve himself due to the torturous slow pace. Mello withdrew his mouth and looked back at Matt, his hand pumping his dick instead. “Or maybe I should fuck your throat.”
“I may let you do what you want if you beg, if you say please I–” Mello had a grin on his face when he started talking, but was interrupted by Matt’s dick invading his mouth abruptly. The hand on his head was grabbing his hair fistfull, holding him in place. There was a sudden change in the atmosphere.
“This is a good way to keep your mouth shut, yeah?”
Matt was right; that did prevent Mello from provoking him, besides, his mouth was good, wet and warm and swallowing him whole. Two birds with one stone. Mello was holding Matt’s hips with both hands to keep himself steady; his mouth at mercy for him to use as he wanted. The thug at his hair was strong, he couldn’t back off and he didn’t want to. At his own pace, Matt was getting louder, not excessively to the point of bothering the neighbors (not that they really care about them) but enough to be heard by Mello with no effort. Not only was the volume of it good, but also the frequency: he just didn’t stop moaning, sighing, saying incoherent words and cursing. It had already satisfied Mello enough to think that he won his own bet; he wanted to smile at the thought but, of course, couldn’t. His cock was dripping precum without even being touched, he liked to give head, even more when it was like this; having his throat brutally invaded. He continued to be face fucked for a little while, but then started to feel like was going to choke or puke and he didn’t want neither of those, so he opened his watered eyes, looked up and started tapping Matt’s hips. He promptly understood the assignment and pulled Mello’s hair in order to remove his dick from his mouth and the action made a wet pop sound, a string of thick saliva connecting them. Mello lowered his head and coughed, the back of his hand tried to clean what was dripping by his chin.
“Are you okay? Was it too much?” Matt caressed his hair, he sounded truly worried that he might have been too brutal and surpassed the limits.
“I’m fine, it was good.” Mello’s voice sounded husky, but he smiled. It did feel good. “I prefer it rough.” Sure he did, thought Matt.
Mello got up and kissed Matt, threw his arms over the other’s shoulders while his hair was still being touched with kindness. Matt was a little grossed out by feeling his own taste, but there was nothing he could do but to kiss back. He sat Mello on the bed, taking a step back to remove his pants and boxers – he had decided to keep his shirt in order to not feel too exposed, since he was not as confident about his body as Mello was. The blonde manifested some discontentment regarding it by his facial expression, but Matt nodded and he seemed to understand, smiling at him playfully and inviting him to get closer with his finger. They knew each other very well, so they had an incredible ability to understand what the other was thinking without saying any word.
When Matt laid beside Mello, he kissed his lips quickly, so soon he was placing kisses on his entire face. His cheeks were warm and red, and he laughed with all the affection, his hands messing with Matt’s hair.
“Like it rough, huh?” Matt said in a provocative – not at all serious – tone.
“I like things like this, too.” The answer was unexpected, Matt never thought Mello would admit something like this.
They laughed and kissed again, the atmosphere different from the beginning of the night, way more comfortable and lighter. Matt kissed and licked the skin of Mello’s neck, just as he did before, turns out he was not as sensitive in the area as himself, but still enjoyed it. Matt put both of his hands on Mello’s chest as he went lower to suck his perky, rosy nipples, taking his time with each one while enjoying the audible reaction he was receiving. When he decided to hold Mello’s thighs, Matt pulled them apart as he traced kisses down his stomach. After his lips reached his inner thighs, he gave a weak bite and some hickeys; by putting his hands on the back of Mello’s knees, he opened Mello’s legs more and bent them, so they were almost touching chest thanks to his flexibility. The truth is, Matt was purposely avoiding Mello’s dick and, instead, wanted to give attention to another area. That’s what he did: after spreading his cheeks, he pressed his soft tongue into his entrance, licking the area. The second that he made the contact, Mello moaned and tensed – Matt could feel it – but as he kept doing it, the blonde started to relax and it became possible for him to insert his tongue inside after stiffening it. Matt alternated between these two things, licking him and basically tongue-fucking him, until he decided that he could go to the next step.
Mello sounded frustrated when he felt the loss of contact, he stopped moaning and sighted, but still kept himself in that position by holding the back of his knees. Matt had raised his head and sat in the bed to get the lube that was by his side. He opened the packaging and squeezed some of it in his hands, coating his fingers with the sticky gel. The first finger that he introduced was his middle one, he pressed and it slipped with no difficulty. It was noticeable that, for some reason, Mello was suppressing his moans.
“There’s no need to do this, I can take it.” Mello said when Matt started to move his finger.
“I don’t wanna hurt you, not like this.”
Matt started to press his index finger inside, to join the middle one, as he answered. He knew Mello was not a virgin, but that didn’t mean that there was no need to prepare him, he really didn’t want it to hurt. Mello gave up talking and moaned higher when Matt started to move his fingers with in and out and scissoring motions. Mello sounded somewhat more like himself, it seemed that every new thing that Matt did made him louder, a little bit different from the first kinda soft moans that he had given Matt the pleasure to listen to. The louder, the better, right? Matt’s dick twitched by his sounds, it made him want to touch himself to get some relief, but of course he couldn’t do it cause both of his hands were occupied, once he started pumping Mello’s cock with his left one. He had already received some pleasure when Mello sucked him, but since he didn't cum, it was starting to get almost impossible to contain the need to find a way to relieve himself. Matt took a deep breath and focused on the movements of his fingers, pushing them deeper and curling them a bit; that’s when he noticed that he had found Mello’s prostrate. He recognized it by his tact, the texture of it was soft and smooth, but even if he could not feel it, he would know because of Mello’s reaction to the touch: he gasped, shut his eyes and tightened around Matt’s fingers. His breath became uneven and his moans louder as the fingers inside him kept moving and hitting that sensitive spot. Matt smiled, satisfied with both the way he was making Mello feel and the preparation that he decided was enough. The fingers slowed down until they stopped moving and then were removed.
A disappointed sigh left Mello’s lips at the loss, again, just when things were starting to get really good, Matt stopped. He felt like he was being tested and provoked, a similar feeling to being orgasm denial – in an obviously less intense way.
“Hurry up.” Mello said impatiently, lifting his head to look at Matt.
“God, you’re a brat. I’m an idiot for worrying about you when you keep acting like a bitch.” Matt was opening the condom and putting it on. “I stopped touching you for like, what? Thirty seconds? And you’re rushing me.” He took some more lube and coated his protected dick.
“You’re too slow, that’s why.” Mello closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow when he felt cold fingers lubricating him more.
Dropping the lube on the bed, Matt put one hand on Mello’s legs while the other held his own dick by the base to line it up against the other’s entrance. He slowly pushed it inside, both of them biting their lips to contain their moans, but Mello’s still managed to escape. It was not easy to put it in, he was very tight, even with the lube and all the preparation; Matt was penetrating at slow pace, because he didn’t want it to be painful. Unfortunately, it hurt a little, even with his efforts to avoid this. Mello put both of his hands on Matt’s shoulder and pulled him closer so they could kiss. A slow kiss that lasted the time that had taken to put the entire length in plus what Matt thought was enough for Mello to get used to his dick (actually, it was the time he could contain himself not to move). They separated from the kiss and, holding both of Mello’s thighs, Matt started to pull his cock out; the first thrust was shallow and the rhythm was slow at the beginning, but it was noticeable that it was good for both of them given their moans. Of course, it didn’t take long for someone to get impatient and demanding.
“F-Fuck, Matt, faster” Mello’s hands squeezed Matt’s shoulders as he moved his hips to encounter the other’s in the middle of a thrust, in an attempt to make the pace as he wanted it to be.
For a moment, Matt thought about mocking him, calling him a brat again and perhaps he could even say that he needed to beg, but he did none of these things for a very good reason: he wanted that too. He really wanted to move faster, thrust harder and deeper, and wanted to bruise his thighs with the marks of his hands, so he obeyed Mello without any complaint. Matt started thinking with his dick, so his logic went in a direction like “He was the one who asked for it, so the pain should be no problem”. To begin, he removed his cock from Mello’s asshole completely, then thrust in a fast motion; the rhythm was established with Matt penetrating him quickly and deeply, taking off his dick almost completely, leaving only the tip inside just to put again.
It hurt, it fucking hurt. Mello felt like he was going to break or tear apart, but there was also so much pleasure. Matt pounded him and stimulated his prostate with every thrust, without even trying to do it. It was overwhelming in a very good way. Mello was kind of a masochist, there was no point in hiding it. His nails dig on Matt’s back, scratching him, marking him. Mello kept his eyes closed the entire time, that is until he felt that Matt started to go slower.
“Don’t fucking stop.” Mello made an effort to speak and pressed his nails deeper in Matt’s skin, obviously annoyed by the slowdown.
“Let’s change the position, I want you to ride me.” Matt’s voice was rispid and demanding as he removed his dick from Mello. Truth is, there were a couple reasons for him to say that: he wanted this to last as much as possible, he was getting a bit tired of pounding Mello – he had forgotten that sex could be so tiring – and, also, he thought the image of Mello on top of him was super hot. To his surprise, the blonde didn’t complain about it. They were both panting as they rearranged themselves, Matt laid on his back and Mello got on his lap.
Holding Matt’s cock by its base, Mello positioned his entrance and began to go down slowly, while the other caressed his thighs until the entire length was inside. They shared a kiss and once they parted and Mello got back to his position, he started to move. With Matt helping him by holding his waist, the up and down movements were easier to do. He was slow at the beginning, but it didn’t take a lot of time for the atmosphere to change and become intense. Mello enjoyed being the one in control of everything, and the position made him feel so powerful that he couldn’t hide his smirk. They didn’t take their eyes off each other, both enjoying their view very much. Matt, who had imagined the image before, could now declare that the reality was way better than his dreams. All that he thought was how Mello could look so good, he didn’t know where to focus: his messy hair, his dark eyes, the smile that he kept on even while moaning. Mello was beautiful, and this was only the divine vision he had while looking at his face. His body was something else, with his lean muscles and smooth skin. Matt took one of his hands to rub Mello’s nipples, because when he looked at them he felt like they were begging to be touched, all hard and perky.
Mello didn’t stick to just going up and down, he also rolled his hips as he felt that it was easier to stimulate his prostate this way. When Matt noticed that he was starting to move faster and moan louder, he moved the hand that was squeezing his tights to his penis. Matt thought it was cute how it already had some precum over the tip and started to masturbate him.
“You’re mine, tell me” Mello made an effort to speak, not fully aware of what he was saying. “You’re not in control, I let you do this.”
Matt laughed, he thought it was hilarious how he could still say things like these while being fucked. Still, he knew it was true. He belonged to Mello since they first met, and if not for Mello acting insane and starting things, it would never happen because Matt was like a puppy and did not have much of an attitude.
“Want me to call you “boss”, too? I’m yours, you already know that.” Matt said, rubbing the tip of Mello’s dick with his thumb. Mello squeezed his eyes shut, it was very sensitive, and he felt overstimulated but still couldn’t stop moving his hips.
“I’m the one in charge, fuck–” Mello bit his lips hard. He was close.
“So you’re the type to talk nonsense when you’re on the edge, eh? But you’re bad at it, moaning at every word you say. I can notice you’re trying not to, and you probably want to say more of this shit but you can’t, you failed.” Hypocritically, Matt also spoke a lot of nonsense when he was close.
With one hand on Mello’s penis and the other on his hips, holding him hard enough to bruise with the marks of his fingers, Matt started to also move his hips. He bent his knees up, so it was easier to control his thrusts and pound into Mello once again. Fucking him hard and fast, it didn’t took long for Matt have an orgasm; he moaned louder and shoved his dick deeper as he came. He kept masturbating Mello until he came some seconds after him, his hand dirty with semen. Matt rubbed his hand on the bed sheets to clean it. As they both panted, Mello left Matt’s lap and laid beside him, looking at the ceiling. Matt removed his condom and tossed it on the floor, he would clean it later. They laid side to side in silence and eventually Matt fell asleep.
Matt woke up feeling sticky and gross and the memories from last night hit him hard. So it was not just a wet dream. Looking to the sides, he didn’t find Mello, so he got up, took a quick shower, put on clean clothes and went to the living room. Mello was in the kitchen, standing next to the counter, on top of it was an open chocolate bar and he held a cup of coffee in his hands. He looked clean so Matt assumed he had taken a shower while he was sleeping.
“Hey.” Matt said, approaching him. “So…”
“I already made a list of the things I need you to do for me, they’re next to your computer.” Mello pointed to the laptop on the coffee table, Matt looked: there was a piece of paper next to it. “Try to do everything as soon as possible, I need everything ready by the end of the week.” Matt just nodded.
So they wouldn’t acknowledge what had happened, that’s okay. It’s not like it had been corroding Matt’s mind since he woke up. He was awake for about half an hour and already felt terrible because of that, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. It would pass. The atmosphere was dense, nonetheless the day followed with them avoiding each other, but pretending that they were not. Matt took a cup of the coffee that Mello made and smoked by the window, he alternated between the cigarette and the bitter drink. Mello was reading something on the couch, Matt tried not to care about him but sometimes glanced at him, secretly. Matt didn’t know that Mello was doing the same thing, because their eyes never met. At one point, Matt got tired of chain smoking and feeling suffocated and left the apartment without saying anything, only taking with him his cigarettes and his MP3.
This is the present: Matt sitting on the sidewalk, smoking and listening to music. “The night before” had stopped playing and electronic music started, but that didn’t mean that he was free from those thoughts. Now, every Beatles song would remind him of that. He just couldn’t take what happened yesterday from his head, everything was looping, he didn’t know how to stop. What Matt knew was that if Mello was avoiding the subject, this is what he must do; he could pretend that he was not being bothered by that, at least. If he faked for a long time, someday it would become the truth, right? With this thought in mind, Matt got up and headed back to the apartment, pretending to be chill. Mello was still reading when he entered, and he didn’t take the focus away from his book to look at Matt. Matt tried not to look at him too much and went to the bedroom; he took his PSP and laid on the bed, still trying to clear his head. Another failed attempt.